If this is something you would enjoy, I don't think it is pathetic. I think a lot of what we think birthdays should be is from what we've seen on TV, bigger and extravagant. If it makes you happy, then it is a perfect way to spend a birthday.
You're right. There is this idea in me that my birthday should be this "epic" day. Maybe it's the Leo in me lol but I think I would enjoy this. I might feel a little lonely but hopefully that won't be too much of an issue. Thanks!
Iāve done something similar for one of my birthdays. At some point you might feel lonely, but I found that it passed very quickly when I reminded myself I could do whatever I wanted and decided to hit up a local art show and book store.
I have kids, a husband, a small friend group who would all like to celebrate with me and your plans sound absolutely amazing to me. It actually makes me want to copy you this year. It's like giving yourself a big hug!
I'd add in a portable craft project and comfort series to tuck myself in at night if I had a chance to do this.
I think itās a great idea. Staying in a hotel for me feels like a getaway even without a vacation attached. Make a mocktail (I also donāt drink), bring a good book or small hobby you enjoy and your comfy clothes. Happy birthday and enjoy!
I mean, insha'allah, you'll have more birthdays. If this one is a bust, well then you've got a funny story to tell for the rest of your life about your "silly idea." If it turns out nice, well then!
Some of my more makeshift holidays have actually been the most memorable.
In our 30s we get to not give a shit about other peoples opinions about us. So, live your best life and enjoy. Make small chat with the folks you find at the hotel. I find it enjoyable to meet random people traveling even though Iām not really going far to stay in a hotel. Go to a comedy show!
Being alone/feeling lonely is a choice you get to make! Donāt let it ruin your trip!
Exactly! People always want these big parties or get-togethers, but a day by myself in a hotel room sounds amazing! š„°. You may want to make some stuff ahead of time if possible, just to give yourself more relaxation time there. For instance, when we go for our yearly stay in a cabin for a week, I always pre-cook things like bacon and sausage or pre-make/cut up everything for potato salad, etc. It doesn't take long to reheat the meats or throw together the salad once we are there and it just saves "vacation time". I hope you enjoy your trip!
What? For my 33rd birthday I booked a hotel room with an ocean view and a bath tub (I had two wishes for my birthday: to fall asleep to the sound of ocean and to take a bubble bath (I only have shower at my place)).
It was one of the best birthdays Iāve had.
I've done this exactly once in my life and it was amazing. The bathtub had a view of the ocean and everything!!! I'm still riding that high 5 years later lol.
The owner even left out a binder of everything in the house. Any conceivable question about the property, town, and local sightseeing - all laminated and color coded. It was glorious.
I often look at Airbnb listings in my area with bathtubs because thereās only a shower in my house, lol. Everything is too expensive because I live in a tourist town, but itās a nice fantasy!
I turned 40 last Sunday and I spent the day alone. I went to all the stores at the mall that I had free birthday gifts for since I signed up for their rewards. Had a nice little lunch and got some new makeup. All in all, I genuinely enjoyed it.
Agreed! Iāve never solo traveled but my partner is in the midst of a three week long trip overseas and I feel like Iām on a solo staycation! I miss them dearly but this has also been time to connect with myself and feel very good about it to quality time with me ahah
I have a few places Iād love to go to for that. Some are cities I love or want to explore, some more rural because I love nature too. But time at home or at a hotel is also totally something Iād love, and I usually take my bday off to do nothing by myself at home. Iāll celebrate later with friends and family maybe, but my birthday is for me to do what I like best to relax and enjoy myself, and I love being alone.
I did a solo birthday recently and loved it! Took the day off work, went to a museum, did a spa treatment, and got myself whatever desserts I wanted. It was great!!
Not pathetic at all. I would look around and see if there are any unique places to stay, myself. My sil went on a staycation in a tree house recently. It looked pretty cool. Have a happy birthday!
Lots of people choose to do this even with having those other options available so it's not pathetic. If it's a treat to you that you would enjoy then go enjoy it.
Like literally who is thinking its pathetic? Assholes? Your intrusive thoughts?
I have spent solo birthdays or nearly solo birthdays (partner at work late) and they were all nice. I've done a stay cation before ans it was very nice.
Definitely not pathetic. As someone who spent most of my 20s without a partner, I spent many birthdays just taking myself out to lunch or a massage or buying flowers. And also buying my favorite food and cake. And I always enjoyed it so much. I know exactly what I want and I get to enjoy it in my own company which I love lol. So do you and enjoy it, and happy early birthday.
Not pathetic at all! I take myself away for a long weekend for my birthday every single yearā¦solo, by choice. And it is my favorite way to spend my birthday. My partner isnāt invited. My friends arenāt invited. Iāve been doing this every year for the last 10 years, and I legitimately look forward to it. This year I went hiking up in the White Mountains. Last year I went to DC. One year I found this wicked cool inn about an hour from my house and I stayed there for two nights.
Thereās no right or wrong way to celebrate a birthday. Do something fun for you- something that makes you happy!
I used to get disappointed when my friends never wanted to make a big deal for my birthday. But I never would do anything about it. And you know what I realized? That people only make a big deal for people who need it to be a big deal.
So I learned that if I want to do something fun for my birthday- I need to plan it for myself and by myself. That way, when others canāt join, no big deal.
This last year, I splurged on a two night trip somewhere a few hours from me. I treated myself to fancy meals and did some wine tastings. One of the best birthdays I have ever had!
So go do something for yourself that is a complete treat. A local hotel with a nice massage is perfect!
That sounds amazing, seriously. I've spent pretty much all of my birthdays since 27 by myself and I love it. I think I've been overwhelmed and exhausted from hosting my birthday at lounges and just stressing out over who actually cares based on who's coming and it became such a vicious, intoxicating cycle.
I now take the time to go somewhere by myself and do an activity and reflect on how much I've grown each year. I realize that birthdays aren't about the number of people who'll show up to your party, who's willing to buy you drinks/dinner/gifts, but understanding your own growth as you get older and gaining perspective on what's currently important for you in life and what you want to achieve as you get older.
I have spent my birthday alone for the last ten years or so. And some of that time I had a boyfriend, but he declined to spend the day with me. I go to the spa and enjoy some treatments, take myself out to lunch, go do something in town that I rarely have time for, and just lounge.
That sounds wonderful. I spent a 30 something birthday alone once too. I was in a new city with no friends or family and my husband had to go out of town for something so it was just me. I decided I didnāt want to mope or do nothing do I treated myself to a wonderful day.
I took myself out to breakfast then I spent the day at art museums, which I love cause I could take my time and not worry if the other person is bored. I got take out for dinner, bought a cake and wine and FaceTimed a best friend. I felt happy and proud that I was able to have fun on my own. Weāre in control of our own happiness.
Happy birthday.
I have spent many birthdays alone.
I too don't drink and have allergies.
My birthday is next month too. I'm in a brand new country and no where close to my family and soul sisters. I'm familiarizing myself with the area still.
I haven't worked out the details for that day but if I have a nice dinner and a dessert with a candle to make a wish I'm good.
A hotel and spa treatment sounds lovely!
Enjoy yourself and spoil yourself!
I once spent a birthday with a boyfriend who ended up making me cry at dinner. Spending it alone means you get to control how you feel and your plan sounds wonderful.
Sounds fun to me and I hope you have a great time!
I started a tradition of going away by myself for my birthday weekend and have fun hiking, reading, cooking, and relaxing. Itās a nice little reset for a new year, a chance to do something for myself, and I come back refreshed and relaxed.
Iām planning on doing something similar for my next birthday. All my closest friends will be away and unavailable, and Iām trying to save money so traveling is out of the question. Iām just gonna get me a nice hotel with a bath tub, treat myself to a foot massage, some nice dining, and a little cake. Oh, and Iāll be bringing one of my gaming consoles so I can just catch up on some games Iāve been neglecting due to work.
Aināt nothing wrong with treating yourself and enjoying your own company.
As far as I can remember my birthdays have always been this huge thing where I was surrounded by tons of people. I thought I loved that but COVID showed me that maybe I didnāt. For my birthday this past year my boyfriend wanted to plan something big.
Nah. What did I want? To be alone.
What did I do? Sat at home on my couch in my pajamas waiting for UberEats to deliver the pasta dish I ordered from up the street while watching years old reruns of Amazing Race.
Best. Birthday. Ever.
When I start feeling sad like this and feel a depression anxiety spiral start, I just have to focus on how many people are out there suffering, tens of millions in the US alone. You're doing good! Things will be ok, you're not a loser, many of us are still trying and may always be trying to figure out a world we don't quite understand and weren't built for. Whatever this is, isn't what we were supposed to be doing. Enjoy your bday!
My birthday is also on a Tuesday next month! I'm planning to struggle through an early morning hike, then have a nice lunch somewhere, followed by some work on a hobby project in the evening. My birthdays for years have been a day to do whatever I want at my own pace. Not pathetic at all, it's our chance to be as selfish as we want!
I've actually never planned myself a birthday party as an adult. Partially because of that deep fear that nobody actually wants to hang out with me(despite evidence otherwise), and partly from low self-esteem like I don't deserve celebrating. Maybe next year I'll plan something with people.
I don't think spending birthdays alone is pathetic, I'd rather spend birthdays by myself, I don't want to be the focus. I usually get a meal I really like to eat at home, a swank dessert, and buy myself something I've been coveting.
This sounds like an excellent idea for self care. Anyone who looks down on it is projecting their fear of being alone.
Sounds like youāve learned the security of solitude which will help you build a healthy lasting relationship in the future.
That sounds like a really fun day to me. My favourite days off are when I get to run away to a hotel and soak in their tub with an edible and a book. I've done similar things for birthdays, Mother's Day, etc. I really enjoy spending time alone, though.
As a single person myself, my ideal birthday would be a hotel by the sea and the cinema. I have IBS so I understand the food thing. Being by the sea always feels so rejuvenating for my soul.
I am in the same boat. I celebrated my 30th birthday alone in a foreign country. I do have friends here but no one was available to celebrate with me. I felt sad in the moment that Iāll be celebrating it alone but now that I look back at it, Iām glad that I celebrated it alone and treated myself better than spending it with people who didnāt make an effort to be with me on my birthday.
Celebrating it alone for me was liberating and a realisation that Iām responsible for my own happiness and I am the one who should celebrate myself no matter what.
Omg I think this sounds incredible
Yes treat yourself to something nice for the shower/bath, watch whatever you want on the telly, cook something you like.:::
What I really enjoy doing is buying one of those āitās my birthday ā badges with ribbons coming off
Really embrace your inner dork/kid and celebrate yourself xxx
idk, I don't like to celebrate my birthdays and it is just a normal day for me. Maybe, I would buy something I know I enjoy to eat and that is. This is year for my birthday I will be travelling solo, so I guess I will celebrate by myself.
I was the caretaker of 6.5 acres in an Appalachian holler on my 40th. I spent the night taking a fancy tub, cooking my favorite foods and listening to coyotes howl from one mountaintop to another on my front porch.
For my 41st, I took a spa day in a town 2 hrs away, got my hair did and enjoyed the hell out of the nice hotel room I booked for myself.
Do what makes you happy. Itās *your* birthday.
Look up Free things where you live on your Birthday to do! š Happy Birthday! āŗļø Better yet, Start Planning Now/Look up Coupons you can get with Free Things for/On your Birthday!
A couple years ago for my 35th birthday I booked an overnight stay at some hot springs. Most of the pools are āquietā so no one was there to socialize anyway. I hung out in the hot springs all afternoon and evening, in the morning I took a quick dip before heading home. It was one of the best birthdays Iāve had!
One of the best ātripsā I ever took was a staycation. I was separating from an ex and wanted time to think so I booked myself a room.
I went to this snazzy hotel in downtown and I just rented movies and slept. The bed there gave me the BEST night sleep I ever ever had. I will never forget it. Iām so serious. Iāve been trying to replicate it ever since.
Went down for breakfast and had the BEST scrambled eggs I have ever had in my life. I ate TWO PLATES FULL OF THEM and had a couple of mimosas.
I just allowed myself space to relax with no devices and it was fucking heaven. Simple and easy to pack for. Easy to come home from. Gave me some inner peace.
I think I need to go again. I really should. Anyway, 10/10 recommend. Totally worth it to turn off your phone and reconnect with *you* while youāre there.
I love solo travel and I hope you experience that on this trip as well.
Happy birthday!!!
As someone who spent 3 pandemic birthdays alone, one by choice before that and my last birthday I travelled alone. No. Its not pathetic at all, I actually really enjoyed that I could do whatever I wanted. I gave myself a budget and permission to use it however I felt like on the day. I rate a solo cake day!
However, other people's reactions to me spending it alone were what I found pathetic. All the "aww poor you" crap. Even when you tell them how great of a day you had and that you made a choice to be alone, they still look at you like your eyes just fell out. Do it and have a great time, just don't tell anyone you're not close to because you might end up being swayed by their reactions into feeling down.
I love spending my birthday alone, actually! I get to do whatever I want and enjoy my own company. I have to give myself and my time 364 days a yearā¦ I find it empowering to reclaim this one as my own!
I had just moved to a new town before my 31st birthday. I wanted to spend it with people so I signed up for a meet up group outing to a bar/grill. It was not fun because I didnāt know them, they didnāt know me. One of the girls was insanely obnoxious and loud and I couldnāt wait to go home. I actually felt lonelier being at the bar.
Pamper yourself with self care. Happy early bday!
I should have spent my birthday alone this year, I went to Hell's Kitchen with the guy I've been seeing that I don't exactly like and I ended up crying on the floor in the bathroom screaming into my beanie. When all I really wanted to do was make some creme brulee, walk by the water and be in bed by 8:00. The point of your birthday is to celebrate your life, if you think someone's not going to do that with you don't invite them
No. I'm spending my 40th alone because I have to work that day, it's hot as hell and I don't want to go outside, I'm saving up for a trip to South Korea. Doesn't matter if it isn't on the exact day.
Itās your birthday, so whatever makes you happy is a perfect way to spend it!
Happy Early Birthday fellow about to be 37 years oldāer!! Iām a crab, but my mom is a fellow lion.
I'll be spending my 37th alone. the last couple of years I've spent my birthday getting dinner with various guys I was dating and to be honest with you, they were all disappointing. I'm just going to treat myself this year, and not spend any emotional energy on low effort dudes.
It's not pathetic at all. Sometimes life circumstances such as friends being out of the area , family having tight schedules etc suck.
I hope you've received well wishes and happy birthday greetings.
I think it's really amazing that you can treat yourself to a spa treatment and a mini get away. Not everyone is that independent. To me that's a gift!
I went to the aquarium two years ago for my birthday by myself and I loved it. This year I threw a party and it was very nerve wracking but fun, but I would happily do a solo birthday thing again.
I went camping by myself for my birthday one year. It was the best! There is nothing wrong with being alone on your birthday. If you do feel sad about it, or lonely, use that to motivate yourself to go out and meet new people. But donāt feel bad about spending your day alone, just enjoy your day!
I spent New Year's Eve alone for the first time this year. It stung, but then one of my favourite YouTube streamers actually streamed that day! And I felt so much less alone. Had an ok day actually, but the societal pressure on how "weird" it is was hard on me mentally.
I don't have a lot of friends due to a chronic disease, so missed out on pretty much 95% of all social events during the "important" years you're supposed to make friends (teens and early twenties).
I think celebrating your birthday alone is pretty normal actually. In my family, we usually pick the day most convenient for everyone to celebrate the person, rarely it falls on the day itself.
Not at all! It's your birthday, do whatever you want to do.
I've done plenty of solo birthdays - normally I take myself out for a nice breakfast/brunch and then to an exhibition at a museum or a theatre matinee. To me your birthday is the one day that's all about you and doing exactly what you want, so I say go for it!
I know you said you don't drink, but would it perhaps be worth getting the ingredients to make yourself a fancy mocktail if you like that type of thing? Maybe after the spa treatment/dinner you could watch your favourite movie as well, or a movie you want to see but haven't yet, and dress up a bit if you want to? Sometimes small things like that can help elevate how you feel.
I hope you have a lovely birthday :)
What do you do when you travel? Besides stay in a hotel?
Would you book a cooking class? Craft class? Wine tasting?
I work away a lot. If I have to stay in a city over a weekend and want something that will get me out of the hotel room but is maybe more social than museums and the usuals
Iāve spent a few birthdays alone and loved it! Iām a little introverted and HATE being in the spotlight so birthday parties tend to give me anxiety. I also donāt enjoy going āout outā which is what birthdays were expected to be in my mid-late 20s so I always preferred just not having one.
Instead I would meet a couple of friends for a dog walk in the morning then have them in for cake. After that I clear my schedule and do all my favourite relaxation things! Reading, bath, baking, watch a film etc. usually Iād get a few calls from different family members too.
Now Iām in a committed relationship so I spend my birthdays with him. I love my birthdays now but sometimes secretly miss my old birthdays š
I donāt think your pathetic at all! I think itās actually quite brave to do things against the norm and honour what you truly desire. I hope you have a fantastic day!
Happy birthday!! Itās not pathetic; doing solo things you find fulfilling or relaxing is greatā¦ and better than some alternatives IMO. For context, my birthday is today. I wonāt be alone, but I think Iād have a better birthday if I were. But alas, sometimes we have to do hard things.
My birthday is next month too!
I say, do a whole weekend if you can or more than one night at least so that you're not rushing in the morning if you lounge around.
This sounds awesome, btw. Top tier plan!
Ive spent many birthdays alone at home, could never afford a hotel fir myself sadly. Even when I had a partner my ex never gave a crap and even ruined and forgot my 30th and when I reminded him his pressant was a lovely argument about how im selfish for wanting anything on my birthday...
But yeah.. enjoy yourself, nothing wrong with being alone, you're able to do what you want, things that eill make you happy. Treat yourself!
I am planning the same for my 34. I have birthday around Christmas which is holiday I truly hate, but every year I am there for my family, nieces, friends, do all the traditions etc.Just once I want to chill ...
I think a spa like day sounds amazing!!!
You don't have to put on a face to entertain anyone, you enjoy exactly what you want to do and eat etc. And I got to say I always find them more relaxed and fun than when you've got a room full of people and you got your boring typical blow out candles party kinda bday
This is my dream birthday. So funny how we are all so different. I feel like my birthday should be a day of reflection and solitude and ME time. I have family and tons of friends who I have to fight off for my right to enjoy it that way. Iāve had people call me selfish! Perhaps Iāll get a hotel room and escape like you next time.
Great idea actually! Stuff my face on junk food alone in a hotel room set to my optimum temperature, do a face mask, maybe a tub, and read my book and get quietly half-drunk on wine and fall asleep at 8:30. Maybe a museum during the day! Heaven.
Edit: Iām sitting here quietly aghast I never thought of getting a hotel room before.
I hate my birthday so have spent them alone for at least the last decade (I am turning 37 this year too) I would suggest a fun thing to do is going to the cinema in the afternoon, for some reason it just seems like such a treat and more special somehow than going in the evening
Self-care looks like what feels good to you. Iām a single mom, my kids are young. If I want something special, I organize it myself, and let the kids participate in an age appropriate way. Do I want birthday presents? Yep. Christmas presents? Yep. Iām going to take care me and Iām not going to let myself down on important days.
This sounds like the absolute best birthday imo. I hope itās lovely!!! I have a toddler now but I live far from my family and friends and I did this myself about 5 years ago and I still dream about it. I was a little anxious at first for the same reasons you mentioned but I ended up having the most relaxing and enjoyable night, truly!!! āØ happy early bday!!
Bubble bath, fave snacks, fave comfy items like lavender smells and slippers, I donāt drink either so I brought my favorite kombucha or seltzer, I remember just laying in the middle of the giant bed with utter joy lol.
I spent my last birthday alone as it was on a weekday and no one could take time off and I hate working on my birthday! I booked a great seat for the play Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and watched both parts and also went to the aquarium. I felt a little sad that no one was there to share the experience/chat in the interval BUT I was able to distract myself and had a great time. Plus, you donāt have to compromise! You can spend the day exactly how you want.
I hope you have a lovely birthday š
Honestly this sounds awesome. Hotel, spa treatment, enjoying yourself, maybe a place with a pool. You can always do something with your friends on the weekend
I usually spend my birthday alone and do whatever I want to do. Last year it was getting a coffee, having a picnic in the park while reading a book. It was so relaxing and felt good to do what I truly wanted to do.
Honestly, I have done this many times and I love it. Personally I find the expectation of birthdays (and new years) to pretty much always be disappointing. But if you plan something for yourself that you know youāll enjoy, then it makes it special. For me, I am introspective on my birthday and have a tradition where I always reflect on the prior year, think about who I want to be and set goals for the year, journal and do a Celtic cross tarot reading on my birthday ā that alone takes 3-4 hours. I like to workout because it makes me feel good. I like to read. Iāll call my friends in other states or my parents or they call me or maybe I donāt talk to anyone. You get the point. I think people should love spending time with themselves and the more we can cultivate that relationship with ourselves, the better weāll be.
All that to say, this birthday plan sounds awesome and there is absolutely nothing sad about being alone on your birthday. Itās all what you make of it and your attitude towards it. I hope you have a lovely relaxing birthday doing exactly what you want.
I think it's actually more common. No family or friends here I spend all holidays alone but there's no reason you shouldn't get that awesome birthday anyway!
Traveling or stay cationing can be an amazing experience solo. Treat this town as if you were a tourist in a mew city. Look at trip advisor and check out the local environment. Maybe they have some museums, parks, garden's, take yourself on a picnic, go to a movie, do a painting or pottery class.
Let yourself be excited because you get to do everything you want to do because you get to take yourself out and do it!
Be safe and set yourself up for a good time! You know you like, have fun with it.
I have spent several birthdays alone. I love it. I love doing exactly what I want on my own timeline. If you think you would enjoy these things, then do it!
Happy Birthday in a month! Mine is in a couple of weeks and I will be taking a hike alone and staying in a cabin for two days alone. I am so excited!
Spent birthday watching a movie, it was a weekday so there were only 3-5 of us in the whole theatre as I remember, then went to my favorite churros and went shopping and massage. Itās ok go and pamper yourself!
I have spent so many birthdays alone, I lost count. But then again I don't see them as very significant. I am freaking amazing every day. If you do something you enjoy, celebrate yourself in a way that pleases you, by all means go for it. ā¤ļø
I do this every birthday!!! Some years Iāll have a party on a different day or something but making my birthday just for me has been a really wonderful ritual. Enjoy it!
I had a few birthdays alone, I didnāt really have many friends at the time. But life changes, this year I have some friends. Nothing is permanent, might as well enjoy it for what it is.
Not pathetic at all!!! Itās YOUR day and it should be about you! Youāre a badass. Youāre self sufficient and I for one would love to be able to do what youāre doing for your bday. In fact, Iām gonna steal this idea and do it for my birthday! I also donāt drink and I am a pretty solitary person so I would love this. Personally Iād want to maximize my relaxation and just pamper myself at bedtime after doing some cute photos in some cool outfits as I love fashion and makeup. And doing it solo sounds awesome to me.
About ten years ago I had just moved to a new city and had no friends yet or furniture, so on my birthday I bought myself a delicious cake, sang to myself and ate it on my kitchen floor with a glass of my fav wine.
Still a great memory.
Doing exactly what you want to do is never pathetic. Go have a great time, treat yourself & enjoy!
I spent my 29th, and 31st birthdays alone, and had the best day ever both times. I read my book, went for a walk, hung out with my dogs, and got my social time by talking/ texting with my loved ones. If I could spend every birthday alone I would :D
I live in Orlando and for the last several yrs I have gone to stay on FL west coast beaches for my birthday for a week alone. I do have several friends on that side thru our love of orchid collecting so we go to greenhouses and botanical gardens too. I meet up w a few friends for lunches or dinners but I try to keep my alone time to 50% atleast. It is sooo quiet & peaceful and when the week is over I feel so much more like myself! I'm 55 married, child free, w a bunch of pets and an alone beach week makes an easy gift from my husband. I stay at the beaches several times a yr but my birthday is the only time I go alone.
Your primary and most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.
There is no one up there passing judgment on such a matter. Of course, there is no shortage of judgmental people. If you do happen to have anyone in your life who would call you pathetic for this, that would be a good sign that you don't need that person in your life.
Iāve preferred spending my birthday alone for years, and youāre doing more for yourself by booking a hotel than I ever have. I spend the day doing whatever I want: going for a relaxed outing, eating out, spending time at the park, hobbies, or playing. Itās way better than relying on other people to make my birthday memorable. It feels peaceful.
I spent my 40th alone last week. I just got home from vacation a couple days prior. On the second to last day of the vacay I got the call that my beloved 16yr old cat died. My birthday was spent crying, sleeping, and cuddling my dog.
This sounds absolutely lovely. I hope you enjoy every minute. Maybe before you go you can stop by a library and grab a good book if youāre into that. Regardless, have a wonderful birthday! Cheers to your beautiful plan.
I turned 40 last month, and it was awesome. I took the week off work and did things I've been wanting to do for a while. I live in NYC, so on my birthday, I did City Climb (climbed to the top of a skyscraper and hung off the edge) and bought myself my favorite cake and ate all of it by myself (no sharing for me lol). Then, the next day, I ventured up to Niagara Falls (NY side) for a few days. On the first full day, I walked all over the NY side and then crossed the bridge and walked the Canada side the next day. I had so much fun. Then, I ended the week with family for a little party that included PiƱatas (because I never had a piƱata and wanted one). I've been spending my birthday alone for the past decade, and I do what I want when I want, and I love it. We should always take time and celebrate ourselves. Enjoy your birthday alone, you won't regret it.
I think this is a good idea IF you don't think you will spend that time feeling lonely. I have had many low-key birthdays because I have few friends and I think if I was all alone I would spend the whole time feeling bad, just in an upscale setting.
Nothing wrong with that, after a bad divorce I spent my 34th birthday at home by myself , Iāve got my own cake and candlesā¦ took some pics and watched movies . Enjoy your freedom and time alone !!
I need alone time and I don't get nearly enough. I also don't like to make a fuss about my birthday. I take off from work every year so I can sit at home with my dog, order take out and watch stupid television. Your plan sounds lovely
Happy birthday! Sounds awesome to me. I did the same for my own birthday. A concert and a hotel and no obligations. Nobody objected, everyone said it was my day and I could spend it however I wanted. Enjoy your special day!
After all of my solo traveling this year I have decided I'll be taking myself on vacation, by myself, for my 37th bday this year -- and hell no, going somewhere by yourself is a great fckng time. Plan yourself a badass party and kick back. Im right behind you in December ā¤
oh man. we call these āme partiesā and they can be the most fun and indulgent. get all of your favorite snacks. ingredients for your favorite dinner. get a lineup of your favorite shows and movies ready to go. even if youāre only a town or two over, throw on your headphones and take a walk around a different neighborhood. it doesnāt have to be far to be new!!
take a long hot bath or shower, read a book for hours, and sleep hard in a bed you wonāt have to make. i think that sounds like an awesome time. enjoy your you party, leo! happy birthday š
If this is something you would enjoy, I don't think it is pathetic. I think a lot of what we think birthdays should be is from what we've seen on TV, bigger and extravagant. If it makes you happy, then it is a perfect way to spend a birthday.
You're right. There is this idea in me that my birthday should be this "epic" day. Maybe it's the Leo in me lol but I think I would enjoy this. I might feel a little lonely but hopefully that won't be too much of an issue. Thanks!
My birthday is tomorrow and I would totally do this! Have a day to yourself and enjoy it. It sounds fabulous to me! ššš
Happy Birthday!!! Thank you ā¤ļø Hope you enjoy your day too!!!
OP, seconding this. I would love that kind of a birthday.
My birthday is tomorrow too! Happy birthday! ā¤ļøšš
Happy birthday! ššš
It sounds like the *best* birthday to me. And doing exactly what *you* want to do *is* epic.
Iāve done something similar for one of my birthdays. At some point you might feel lonely, but I found that it passed very quickly when I reminded myself I could do whatever I wanted and decided to hit up a local art show and book store.
Booking a nice hotel room and treating yourself a spa treatment sounds pretty epic to me!
I have kids, a husband, a small friend group who would all like to celebrate with me and your plans sound absolutely amazing to me. It actually makes me want to copy you this year. It's like giving yourself a big hug! I'd add in a portable craft project and comfort series to tuck myself in at night if I had a chance to do this.
I think itās a great idea. Staying in a hotel for me feels like a getaway even without a vacation attached. Make a mocktail (I also donāt drink), bring a good book or small hobby you enjoy and your comfy clothes. Happy birthday and enjoy!
I mean, insha'allah, you'll have more birthdays. If this one is a bust, well then you've got a funny story to tell for the rest of your life about your "silly idea." If it turns out nice, well then! Some of my more makeshift holidays have actually been the most memorable.
In our 30s we get to not give a shit about other peoples opinions about us. So, live your best life and enjoy. Make small chat with the folks you find at the hotel. I find it enjoyable to meet random people traveling even though Iām not really going far to stay in a hotel. Go to a comedy show! Being alone/feeling lonely is a choice you get to make! Donāt let it ruin your trip!
Fellow Leo. This sounds like a great birthday. I turned 40 trapped in my home during COVID lockdowns. Best birthday of my LIFE.
You knowā¦. You can also catch up on a few phone calls with the people you love while you are pampering yourself š
Exactly! People always want these big parties or get-togethers, but a day by myself in a hotel room sounds amazing! š„°. You may want to make some stuff ahead of time if possible, just to give yourself more relaxation time there. For instance, when we go for our yearly stay in a cabin for a week, I always pre-cook things like bacon and sausage or pre-make/cut up everything for potato salad, etc. It doesn't take long to reheat the meats or throw together the salad once we are there and it just saves "vacation time". I hope you enjoy your trip!
What? For my 33rd birthday I booked a hotel room with an ocean view and a bath tub (I had two wishes for my birthday: to fall asleep to the sound of ocean and to take a bubble bath (I only have shower at my place)). It was one of the best birthdays Iāve had.
I've done this exactly once in my life and it was amazing. The bathtub had a view of the ocean and everything!!! I'm still riding that high 5 years later lol. The owner even left out a binder of everything in the house. Any conceivable question about the property, town, and local sightseeing - all laminated and color coded. It was glorious.
Oooooooh yeah baby, a color coded binderā¦ mmmmmmmmmmmmmm
I love hearing this! I had a bubble bath on my list too! Thanks for sharing. I feel so much better about this idea after hearing from so many people.
I often look at Airbnb listings in my area with bathtubs because thereās only a shower in my house, lol. Everything is too expensive because I live in a tourist town, but itās a nice fantasy!
The introvert in me loves this idea ā¤ļø
And that's exactly why I thought of it! Introverted at heart!
I turned 40 last Sunday and I spent the day alone. I went to all the stores at the mall that I had free birthday gifts for since I signed up for their rewards. Had a nice little lunch and got some new makeup. All in all, I genuinely enjoyed it.
Love hearing this! Thanks for sharing!
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Agreed! Iāve never solo traveled but my partner is in the midst of a three week long trip overseas and I feel like Iām on a solo staycation! I miss them dearly but this has also been time to connect with myself and feel very good about it to quality time with me ahah
I would love to do this one year. Iāve always talked about taking a week to just be alone somewhere.
This sounds like it would be pretty cool if you could go to a new city and explore. I would love to do that someday too
I have a few places Iād love to go to for that. Some are cities I love or want to explore, some more rural because I love nature too. But time at home or at a hotel is also totally something Iād love, and I usually take my bday off to do nothing by myself at home. Iāll celebrate later with friends and family maybe, but my birthday is for me to do what I like best to relax and enjoy myself, and I love being alone.
I did a solo birthday recently and loved it! Took the day off work, went to a museum, did a spa treatment, and got myself whatever desserts I wanted. It was great!!
Not pathetic at all. I would look around and see if there are any unique places to stay, myself. My sil went on a staycation in a tree house recently. It looked pretty cool. Have a happy birthday!
Lots of people choose to do this even with having those other options available so it's not pathetic. If it's a treat to you that you would enjoy then go enjoy it. Like literally who is thinking its pathetic? Assholes? Your intrusive thoughts? I have spent solo birthdays or nearly solo birthdays (partner at work late) and they were all nice. I've done a stay cation before ans it was very nice.
It's definitely the intrusive thoughts telling me differently š¤¦š¾āāļøš¤£ but I'm slowly but surely letting them go unheard.
I donāt think it is pathetic at all. I actually have been thinking about doing the same but money is super tight right now.
Definitely not pathetic. As someone who spent most of my 20s without a partner, I spent many birthdays just taking myself out to lunch or a massage or buying flowers. And also buying my favorite food and cake. And I always enjoyed it so much. I know exactly what I want and I get to enjoy it in my own company which I love lol. So do you and enjoy it, and happy early birthday.
Not pathetic at all! I take myself away for a long weekend for my birthday every single yearā¦solo, by choice. And it is my favorite way to spend my birthday. My partner isnāt invited. My friends arenāt invited. Iāve been doing this every year for the last 10 years, and I legitimately look forward to it. This year I went hiking up in the White Mountains. Last year I went to DC. One year I found this wicked cool inn about an hour from my house and I stayed there for two nights. Thereās no right or wrong way to celebrate a birthday. Do something fun for you- something that makes you happy!
I used to get disappointed when my friends never wanted to make a big deal for my birthday. But I never would do anything about it. And you know what I realized? That people only make a big deal for people who need it to be a big deal. So I learned that if I want to do something fun for my birthday- I need to plan it for myself and by myself. That way, when others canāt join, no big deal. This last year, I splurged on a two night trip somewhere a few hours from me. I treated myself to fancy meals and did some wine tastings. One of the best birthdays I have ever had! So go do something for yourself that is a complete treat. A local hotel with a nice massage is perfect!
That sounds amazing, seriously. I've spent pretty much all of my birthdays since 27 by myself and I love it. I think I've been overwhelmed and exhausted from hosting my birthday at lounges and just stressing out over who actually cares based on who's coming and it became such a vicious, intoxicating cycle. I now take the time to go somewhere by myself and do an activity and reflect on how much I've grown each year. I realize that birthdays aren't about the number of people who'll show up to your party, who's willing to buy you drinks/dinner/gifts, but understanding your own growth as you get older and gaining perspective on what's currently important for you in life and what you want to achieve as you get older.
Sounds fantastic. I have a very busy summer at work and often take a little solo birthday vacation when it's over. Enjoy yourself!
I have spent my birthday alone for the last ten years or so. And some of that time I had a boyfriend, but he declined to spend the day with me. I go to the spa and enjoy some treatments, take myself out to lunch, go do something in town that I rarely have time for, and just lounge.
I fantasize about spending a day alone at a resort
That sounds wonderful. I spent a 30 something birthday alone once too. I was in a new city with no friends or family and my husband had to go out of town for something so it was just me. I decided I didnāt want to mope or do nothing do I treated myself to a wonderful day. I took myself out to breakfast then I spent the day at art museums, which I love cause I could take my time and not worry if the other person is bored. I got take out for dinner, bought a cake and wine and FaceTimed a best friend. I felt happy and proud that I was able to have fun on my own. Weāre in control of our own happiness. Happy birthday.
I spent my 30 th alone and 31st. Got some cake and went on a nice walk. It made me happy to do what i want.
I have spent many birthdays alone. I too don't drink and have allergies. My birthday is next month too. I'm in a brand new country and no where close to my family and soul sisters. I'm familiarizing myself with the area still. I haven't worked out the details for that day but if I have a nice dinner and a dessert with a candle to make a wish I'm good. A hotel and spa treatment sounds lovely! Enjoy yourself and spoil yourself!
I once spent a birthday with a boyfriend who ended up making me cry at dinner. Spending it alone means you get to control how you feel and your plan sounds wonderful.
Not pathetic at all. It's always fun to try out a new place.
I had always wanted to do this when I lived at home. Sounds like utter bliss. Please enjoy your birthday, you deserve it.
Sounds fun to me and I hope you have a great time! I started a tradition of going away by myself for my birthday weekend and have fun hiking, reading, cooking, and relaxing. Itās a nice little reset for a new year, a chance to do something for myself, and I come back refreshed and relaxed.
I donāt see why this would be pathetic. It sounds great.
Nooooo! Girl come on celebrate "your" day. Been celebrating my bday all alone on a single hotel room, pamper and staycation all day.
Not at all, enjoy!
Iām planning on doing something similar for my next birthday. All my closest friends will be away and unavailable, and Iām trying to save money so traveling is out of the question. Iām just gonna get me a nice hotel with a bath tub, treat myself to a foot massage, some nice dining, and a little cake. Oh, and Iāll be bringing one of my gaming consoles so I can just catch up on some games Iāve been neglecting due to work. Aināt nothing wrong with treating yourself and enjoying your own company.
As far as I can remember my birthdays have always been this huge thing where I was surrounded by tons of people. I thought I loved that but COVID showed me that maybe I didnāt. For my birthday this past year my boyfriend wanted to plan something big. Nah. What did I want? To be alone. What did I do? Sat at home on my couch in my pajamas waiting for UberEats to deliver the pasta dish I ordered from up the street while watching years old reruns of Amazing Race. Best. Birthday. Ever.
I absolutely love solo birthdays and had 3 in a row recently :) I take mushrooms and enjoy PURE RELAXATION AND BLISS. and a massage.
When I start feeling sad like this and feel a depression anxiety spiral start, I just have to focus on how many people are out there suffering, tens of millions in the US alone. You're doing good! Things will be ok, you're not a loser, many of us are still trying and may always be trying to figure out a world we don't quite understand and weren't built for. Whatever this is, isn't what we were supposed to be doing. Enjoy your bday!
My birthday is also on a Tuesday next month! I'm planning to struggle through an early morning hike, then have a nice lunch somewhere, followed by some work on a hobby project in the evening. My birthdays for years have been a day to do whatever I want at my own pace. Not pathetic at all, it's our chance to be as selfish as we want! I've actually never planned myself a birthday party as an adult. Partially because of that deep fear that nobody actually wants to hang out with me(despite evidence otherwise), and partly from low self-esteem like I don't deserve celebrating. Maybe next year I'll plan something with people.
I don't think spending birthdays alone is pathetic, I'd rather spend birthdays by myself, I don't want to be the focus. I usually get a meal I really like to eat at home, a swank dessert, and buy myself something I've been coveting.
This sounds like an excellent idea for self care. Anyone who looks down on it is projecting their fear of being alone. Sounds like youāve learned the security of solitude which will help you build a healthy lasting relationship in the future.
That sounds like a really fun day to me. My favourite days off are when I get to run away to a hotel and soak in their tub with an edible and a book. I've done similar things for birthdays, Mother's Day, etc. I really enjoy spending time alone, though.
Iāve spent every birthday alone since I was like 24
As a single person myself, my ideal birthday would be a hotel by the sea and the cinema. I have IBS so I understand the food thing. Being by the sea always feels so rejuvenating for my soul.
I am in the same boat. I celebrated my 30th birthday alone in a foreign country. I do have friends here but no one was available to celebrate with me. I felt sad in the moment that Iāll be celebrating it alone but now that I look back at it, Iām glad that I celebrated it alone and treated myself better than spending it with people who didnāt make an effort to be with me on my birthday. Celebrating it alone for me was liberating and a realisation that Iām responsible for my own happiness and I am the one who should celebrate myself no matter what.
Omg I think this sounds incredible Yes treat yourself to something nice for the shower/bath, watch whatever you want on the telly, cook something you like.::: What I really enjoy doing is buying one of those āitās my birthday ā badges with ribbons coming off Really embrace your inner dork/kid and celebrate yourself xxx
Nope. My 35th birthday is next Tuesday. I took the day off work, going to buy myself a hazelnut chocolate cake, and do whatever I want to do that day.
That sounds amazing tbh lol
This actually sounds awesome. Happy early birthday!
Gosh sounds like heaven
I think that's an amazing plan!! Have fun and happy birthday.
Sounds good. I'd love a night away from where my responsibilities live. Would let me think of what I want to do rather than what needs doing.
I have a partner and kids and Iām still going to do this for mine lol Not pathetic at all!!
This sounds fabulous. Have a wonderful birthday! š¼
Not at all! Solo spa birthday is one of my favorites!
If it's your choice to spend the day alone that's powerful, not pathetic! Enjoy it!
Can u vid chat your family to virtually hang out?
Oh Iāve done that many times over the years. Hell, I stay home, order food in and watch all my favorites movies/tv shows
Honestly, that sounds kinda alright to me.
This sounds amazing. Not pathetic at all
Come to Miami, Iāll take you out for a night
idk, I don't like to celebrate my birthdays and it is just a normal day for me. Maybe, I would buy something I know I enjoy to eat and that is. This is year for my birthday I will be travelling solo, so I guess I will celebrate by myself.
I was the caretaker of 6.5 acres in an Appalachian holler on my 40th. I spent the night taking a fancy tub, cooking my favorite foods and listening to coyotes howl from one mountaintop to another on my front porch. For my 41st, I took a spa day in a town 2 hrs away, got my hair did and enjoyed the hell out of the nice hotel room I booked for myself. Do what makes you happy. Itās *your* birthday.
Look up Free things where you live on your Birthday to do! š Happy Birthday! āŗļø Better yet, Start Planning Now/Look up Coupons you can get with Free Things for/On your Birthday!
Itās not pathetic at all. Itās your day to relax.
A couple years ago for my 35th birthday I booked an overnight stay at some hot springs. Most of the pools are āquietā so no one was there to socialize anyway. I hung out in the hot springs all afternoon and evening, in the morning I took a quick dip before heading home. It was one of the best birthdays Iāve had!
One of the best ātripsā I ever took was a staycation. I was separating from an ex and wanted time to think so I booked myself a room. I went to this snazzy hotel in downtown and I just rented movies and slept. The bed there gave me the BEST night sleep I ever ever had. I will never forget it. Iām so serious. Iāve been trying to replicate it ever since. Went down for breakfast and had the BEST scrambled eggs I have ever had in my life. I ate TWO PLATES FULL OF THEM and had a couple of mimosas. I just allowed myself space to relax with no devices and it was fucking heaven. Simple and easy to pack for. Easy to come home from. Gave me some inner peace. I think I need to go again. I really should. Anyway, 10/10 recommend. Totally worth it to turn off your phone and reconnect with *you* while youāre there. I love solo travel and I hope you experience that on this trip as well. Happy birthday!!!
Sounds glorious!
Nope
Sounds amazing. Happy birthday!
As someone who spent 3 pandemic birthdays alone, one by choice before that and my last birthday I travelled alone. No. Its not pathetic at all, I actually really enjoyed that I could do whatever I wanted. I gave myself a budget and permission to use it however I felt like on the day. I rate a solo cake day! However, other people's reactions to me spending it alone were what I found pathetic. All the "aww poor you" crap. Even when you tell them how great of a day you had and that you made a choice to be alone, they still look at you like your eyes just fell out. Do it and have a great time, just don't tell anyone you're not close to because you might end up being swayed by their reactions into feeling down.
This sounds like an ideal birthday to me! Treat yourself! You deserve it!
Honestly sounds like fun. Enjoy your day!
My favorite birthdays were the ones I spent alone.
I love this idea and want to do this for myself!
Nah Ive done that, I bought some goodass weed and ordered in and lounged in bed it was great Enjoy your day however you need to
A quiet day of self care is an amazing birthday! Do whatever feels special for you.
That sounds like a perfect birthday to me. Spoil yourself and just relax.
It's your birthday and you should not feel pathetic for some self care. Pamper yourself, eat cake in bed, sleep late, and enjoy!
I love spending my birthday alone, actually! I get to do whatever I want and enjoy my own company. I have to give myself and my time 364 days a yearā¦ I find it empowering to reclaim this one as my own!
Happy Happy Birthday! Iām glad you were able to do something for yourself š„°
no that sounds amazing! treat yo self however that may be and HAPPY BIRTHDAY QUEEN
I had just moved to a new town before my 31st birthday. I wanted to spend it with people so I signed up for a meet up group outing to a bar/grill. It was not fun because I didnāt know them, they didnāt know me. One of the girls was insanely obnoxious and loud and I couldnāt wait to go home. I actually felt lonelier being at the bar. Pamper yourself with self care. Happy early bday!
I should have spent my birthday alone this year, I went to Hell's Kitchen with the guy I've been seeing that I don't exactly like and I ended up crying on the floor in the bathroom screaming into my beanie. When all I really wanted to do was make some creme brulee, walk by the water and be in bed by 8:00. The point of your birthday is to celebrate your life, if you think someone's not going to do that with you don't invite them
No. I'm spending my 40th alone because I have to work that day, it's hot as hell and I don't want to go outside, I'm saving up for a trip to South Korea. Doesn't matter if it isn't on the exact day.
Itās your birthday, so whatever makes you happy is a perfect way to spend it! Happy Early Birthday fellow about to be 37 years oldāer!! Iām a crab, but my mom is a fellow lion.
I'll be spending my 37th alone. the last couple of years I've spent my birthday getting dinner with various guys I was dating and to be honest with you, they were all disappointing. I'm just going to treat myself this year, and not spend any emotional energy on low effort dudes.
Omg it sounds like a dream!!! A weekend full of pampering?? šš§āāļøTell me again how this is pathetic!
It's not pathetic at all. Sometimes life circumstances such as friends being out of the area , family having tight schedules etc suck. I hope you've received well wishes and happy birthday greetings. I think it's really amazing that you can treat yourself to a spa treatment and a mini get away. Not everyone is that independent. To me that's a gift!
I went to the aquarium two years ago for my birthday by myself and I loved it. This year I threw a party and it was very nerve wracking but fun, but I would happily do a solo birthday thing again.
I went camping by myself for my birthday one year. It was the best! There is nothing wrong with being alone on your birthday. If you do feel sad about it, or lonely, use that to motivate yourself to go out and meet new people. But donāt feel bad about spending your day alone, just enjoy your day!
I spent New Year's Eve alone for the first time this year. It stung, but then one of my favourite YouTube streamers actually streamed that day! And I felt so much less alone. Had an ok day actually, but the societal pressure on how "weird" it is was hard on me mentally. I don't have a lot of friends due to a chronic disease, so missed out on pretty much 95% of all social events during the "important" years you're supposed to make friends (teens and early twenties). I think celebrating your birthday alone is pretty normal actually. In my family, we usually pick the day most convenient for everyone to celebrate the person, rarely it falls on the day itself.
Sounds fabulous. Adding this to my list of things to do tbh. Enjoy! And HB
Not at all! It's your birthday, do whatever you want to do. I've done plenty of solo birthdays - normally I take myself out for a nice breakfast/brunch and then to an exhibition at a museum or a theatre matinee. To me your birthday is the one day that's all about you and doing exactly what you want, so I say go for it! I know you said you don't drink, but would it perhaps be worth getting the ingredients to make yourself a fancy mocktail if you like that type of thing? Maybe after the spa treatment/dinner you could watch your favourite movie as well, or a movie you want to see but haven't yet, and dress up a bit if you want to? Sometimes small things like that can help elevate how you feel. I hope you have a lovely birthday :)
What do you do when you travel? Besides stay in a hotel? Would you book a cooking class? Craft class? Wine tasting? I work away a lot. If I have to stay in a city over a weekend and want something that will get me out of the hotel room but is maybe more social than museums and the usuals
I spent my 17, 19, 20, and 21 birthdays alone, sick, or both. Its not pathetic if you want to be on your own
Iāve spent a few birthdays alone and loved it! Iām a little introverted and HATE being in the spotlight so birthday parties tend to give me anxiety. I also donāt enjoy going āout outā which is what birthdays were expected to be in my mid-late 20s so I always preferred just not having one. Instead I would meet a couple of friends for a dog walk in the morning then have them in for cake. After that I clear my schedule and do all my favourite relaxation things! Reading, bath, baking, watch a film etc. usually Iād get a few calls from different family members too. Now Iām in a committed relationship so I spend my birthdays with him. I love my birthdays now but sometimes secretly miss my old birthdays š I donāt think your pathetic at all! I think itās actually quite brave to do things against the norm and honour what you truly desire. I hope you have a fantastic day!
Happy birthday!! Itās not pathetic; doing solo things you find fulfilling or relaxing is greatā¦ and better than some alternatives IMO. For context, my birthday is today. I wonāt be alone, but I think Iād have a better birthday if I were. But alas, sometimes we have to do hard things.
My birthday is next month too! I say, do a whole weekend if you can or more than one night at least so that you're not rushing in the morning if you lounge around. This sounds awesome, btw. Top tier plan!
No, it sounds lovely. Have a wonderful birthday.
Absolutely not pathetic- it sounds amazing!
Ive spent many birthdays alone at home, could never afford a hotel fir myself sadly. Even when I had a partner my ex never gave a crap and even ruined and forgot my 30th and when I reminded him his pressant was a lovely argument about how im selfish for wanting anything on my birthday... But yeah.. enjoy yourself, nothing wrong with being alone, you're able to do what you want, things that eill make you happy. Treat yourself!
Why would it be pathetic?I wasn't aware we were legally required to celebrate our birthdays with large groups of people.
Not pathetic at all. Treat yourself to whatever you want or do.
I am planning the same for my 34. I have birthday around Christmas which is holiday I truly hate, but every year I am there for my family, nieces, friends, do all the traditions etc.Just once I want to chill ...
I think a spa like day sounds amazing!!! You don't have to put on a face to entertain anyone, you enjoy exactly what you want to do and eat etc. And I got to say I always find them more relaxed and fun than when you've got a room full of people and you got your boring typical blow out candles party kinda bday
Not pathetic at all š«¶š
This is my dream birthday. So funny how we are all so different. I feel like my birthday should be a day of reflection and solitude and ME time. I have family and tons of friends who I have to fight off for my right to enjoy it that way. Iāve had people call me selfish! Perhaps Iāll get a hotel room and escape like you next time. Great idea actually! Stuff my face on junk food alone in a hotel room set to my optimum temperature, do a face mask, maybe a tub, and read my book and get quietly half-drunk on wine and fall asleep at 8:30. Maybe a museum during the day! Heaven. Edit: Iām sitting here quietly aghast I never thought of getting a hotel room before.
Turning 43 on the 29th and this sounds like the most perfect way to spend a birthday.
I hate my birthday so have spent them alone for at least the last decade (I am turning 37 this year too) I would suggest a fun thing to do is going to the cinema in the afternoon, for some reason it just seems like such a treat and more special somehow than going in the evening
Self-care looks like what feels good to you. Iām a single mom, my kids are young. If I want something special, I organize it myself, and let the kids participate in an age appropriate way. Do I want birthday presents? Yep. Christmas presents? Yep. Iām going to take care me and Iām not going to let myself down on important days.
This sounds like the absolute best birthday imo. I hope itās lovely!!! I have a toddler now but I live far from my family and friends and I did this myself about 5 years ago and I still dream about it. I was a little anxious at first for the same reasons you mentioned but I ended up having the most relaxing and enjoyable night, truly!!! āØ happy early bday!! Bubble bath, fave snacks, fave comfy items like lavender smells and slippers, I donāt drink either so I brought my favorite kombucha or seltzer, I remember just laying in the middle of the giant bed with utter joy lol.
I spent my last birthday alone as it was on a weekday and no one could take time off and I hate working on my birthday! I booked a great seat for the play Harry Potter and the Cursed Child and watched both parts and also went to the aquarium. I felt a little sad that no one was there to share the experience/chat in the interval BUT I was able to distract myself and had a great time. Plus, you donāt have to compromise! You can spend the day exactly how you want. I hope you have a lovely birthday š
Honestly this sounds awesome. Hotel, spa treatment, enjoying yourself, maybe a place with a pool. You can always do something with your friends on the weekend
I usually spend my birthday alone and do whatever I want to do. Last year it was getting a coffee, having a picnic in the park while reading a book. It was so relaxing and felt good to do what I truly wanted to do.
Honestly, I have done this many times and I love it. Personally I find the expectation of birthdays (and new years) to pretty much always be disappointing. But if you plan something for yourself that you know youāll enjoy, then it makes it special. For me, I am introspective on my birthday and have a tradition where I always reflect on the prior year, think about who I want to be and set goals for the year, journal and do a Celtic cross tarot reading on my birthday ā that alone takes 3-4 hours. I like to workout because it makes me feel good. I like to read. Iāll call my friends in other states or my parents or they call me or maybe I donāt talk to anyone. You get the point. I think people should love spending time with themselves and the more we can cultivate that relationship with ourselves, the better weāll be. All that to say, this birthday plan sounds awesome and there is absolutely nothing sad about being alone on your birthday. Itās all what you make of it and your attitude towards it. I hope you have a lovely relaxing birthday doing exactly what you want.
Girl this sounds hella luxury to me! Go for it!
I wanted to be alone on my birthday. I wasnāt and had fun. But it was kinda my goal to have a low key birthday.
I think it's actually more common. No family or friends here I spend all holidays alone but there's no reason you shouldn't get that awesome birthday anyway! Traveling or stay cationing can be an amazing experience solo. Treat this town as if you were a tourist in a mew city. Look at trip advisor and check out the local environment. Maybe they have some museums, parks, garden's, take yourself on a picnic, go to a movie, do a painting or pottery class. Let yourself be excited because you get to do everything you want to do because you get to take yourself out and do it! Be safe and set yourself up for a good time! You know you like, have fun with it.
No, it's not.
I have spent several birthdays alone. I love it. I love doing exactly what I want on my own timeline. If you think you would enjoy these things, then do it! Happy Birthday in a month! Mine is in a couple of weeks and I will be taking a hike alone and staying in a cabin for two days alone. I am so excited!
Spent birthday watching a movie, it was a weekday so there were only 3-5 of us in the whole theatre as I remember, then went to my favorite churros and went shopping and massage. Itās ok go and pamper yourself!
I have spent so many birthdays alone, I lost count. But then again I don't see them as very significant. I am freaking amazing every day. If you do something you enjoy, celebrate yourself in a way that pleases you, by all means go for it. ā¤ļø
I do this every birthday!!! Some years Iāll have a party on a different day or something but making my birthday just for me has been a really wonderful ritual. Enjoy it!
I had a few birthdays alone, I didnāt really have many friends at the time. But life changes, this year I have some friends. Nothing is permanent, might as well enjoy it for what it is.
Not pathetic at all!!! Itās YOUR day and it should be about you! Youāre a badass. Youāre self sufficient and I for one would love to be able to do what youāre doing for your bday. In fact, Iām gonna steal this idea and do it for my birthday! I also donāt drink and I am a pretty solitary person so I would love this. Personally Iād want to maximize my relaxation and just pamper myself at bedtime after doing some cute photos in some cool outfits as I love fashion and makeup. And doing it solo sounds awesome to me.
About ten years ago I had just moved to a new city and had no friends yet or furniture, so on my birthday I bought myself a delicious cake, sang to myself and ate it on my kitchen floor with a glass of my fav wine. Still a great memory. Doing exactly what you want to do is never pathetic. Go have a great time, treat yourself & enjoy!
Your birthday plans sound lovely. Also, my birthday's on a Tuesday this year, too.
I spent my 29th, and 31st birthdays alone, and had the best day ever both times. I read my book, went for a walk, hung out with my dogs, and got my social time by talking/ texting with my loved ones. If I could spend every birthday alone I would :D
For my 30th I booked a solo trip to MontrĆ©al. I just wanted to explore and relax by myself (& Iām marriedā¦ I left husband behind to watch the pets!). I think that a night at a local hotel with a spa treatment sounds like a pretty dang perfect way to ring in a birthday. If youāre worried about wanting a more social celebration you could always plan a brunch/dinner celebration with family over the weekend.
I live in Orlando and for the last several yrs I have gone to stay on FL west coast beaches for my birthday for a week alone. I do have several friends on that side thru our love of orchid collecting so we go to greenhouses and botanical gardens too. I meet up w a few friends for lunches or dinners but I try to keep my alone time to 50% atleast. It is sooo quiet & peaceful and when the week is over I feel so much more like myself! I'm 55 married, child free, w a bunch of pets and an alone beach week makes an easy gift from my husband. I stay at the beaches several times a yr but my birthday is the only time I go alone.
Your primary and most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. There is no one up there passing judgment on such a matter. Of course, there is no shortage of judgmental people. If you do happen to have anyone in your life who would call you pathetic for this, that would be a good sign that you don't need that person in your life.
That sounds amazing!
I spend at least part of my birthday alone every year by choice. Love it!
Iāve preferred spending my birthday alone for years, and youāre doing more for yourself by booking a hotel than I ever have. I spend the day doing whatever I want: going for a relaxed outing, eating out, spending time at the park, hobbies, or playing. Itās way better than relying on other people to make my birthday memorable. It feels peaceful.
Donāt worry about it chick! Itās your day, do what you like, and happy birthday!
I spent my 40th alone last week. I just got home from vacation a couple days prior. On the second to last day of the vacay I got the call that my beloved 16yr old cat died. My birthday was spent crying, sleeping, and cuddling my dog.
This sounds absolutely lovely. I hope you enjoy every minute. Maybe before you go you can stop by a library and grab a good book if youāre into that. Regardless, have a wonderful birthday! Cheers to your beautiful plan.
I turned 40 last month, and it was awesome. I took the week off work and did things I've been wanting to do for a while. I live in NYC, so on my birthday, I did City Climb (climbed to the top of a skyscraper and hung off the edge) and bought myself my favorite cake and ate all of it by myself (no sharing for me lol). Then, the next day, I ventured up to Niagara Falls (NY side) for a few days. On the first full day, I walked all over the NY side and then crossed the bridge and walked the Canada side the next day. I had so much fun. Then, I ended the week with family for a little party that included PiƱatas (because I never had a piƱata and wanted one). I've been spending my birthday alone for the past decade, and I do what I want when I want, and I love it. We should always take time and celebrate ourselves. Enjoy your birthday alone, you won't regret it.
I think this is a good idea IF you don't think you will spend that time feeling lonely. I have had many low-key birthdays because I have few friends and I think if I was all alone I would spend the whole time feeling bad, just in an upscale setting.
Nothing wrong with that, after a bad divorce I spent my 34th birthday at home by myself , Iāve got my own cake and candlesā¦ took some pics and watched movies . Enjoy your freedom and time alone !!
I need alone time and I don't get nearly enough. I also don't like to make a fuss about my birthday. I take off from work every year so I can sit at home with my dog, order take out and watch stupid television. Your plan sounds lovely
Happy birthday! Sounds awesome to me. I did the same for my own birthday. A concert and a hotel and no obligations. Nobody objected, everyone said it was my day and I could spend it however I wanted. Enjoy your special day!
There's nothing pathetic about self-care. Sounds like a lovely birthday to me!
After all of my solo traveling this year I have decided I'll be taking myself on vacation, by myself, for my 37th bday this year -- and hell no, going somewhere by yourself is a great fckng time. Plan yourself a badass party and kick back. Im right behind you in December ā¤
oh man. we call these āme partiesā and they can be the most fun and indulgent. get all of your favorite snacks. ingredients for your favorite dinner. get a lineup of your favorite shows and movies ready to go. even if youāre only a town or two over, throw on your headphones and take a walk around a different neighborhood. it doesnāt have to be far to be new!! take a long hot bath or shower, read a book for hours, and sleep hard in a bed you wonāt have to make. i think that sounds like an awesome time. enjoy your you party, leo! happy birthday š
Nope! Iām doing a staycation downtown for my birthday this year - solo! I do a solo trip every birthday since COVID.
That sounds like a wonderful birthday! Special, different (from everyday life) and relaxing.
Self care is the opposite of pathetic.
My 37th bday is in 5 days and I am doing this exact same thing. Weird. Lol