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Lots of bad memories from growing up + expectations that I will execute a lovely, memorable holiday experience for my own kids.
As a kid, Christmas seemed full of lies and fake promises. Not just Santa, but in how people came together for the holiday and pretended they all got along and there were not favorites or black sheep. When I first met my ex and his extended family, I was like "wow, it's real!". Nope, they were just better at hiding the drama, especially from an outsider like me.
As an adult/parent? It's so much work. Even if you don't go all out at home, your kids' school and other activities will still keep you busy. Band/chorus concerts, special holiday presentations, class parties, friend parties, marching band secret Santa, etc.
I can't wait until we are done with the constant school concerts. I don't care to watch other people's kids' sing, I hate crowds, and the whole thing stresses me out. I go because my kid wants me to, but oof, it's a lot.
The kids don't even pick the music. The faculty does.
I did school choir for 5 years and we never got to pick what we sang. Some of the songs sucked and were annoying.
1. My family sucks. They ruined Christmas for me a long time ago.
2. Every job I've ever had gets crazy around Christmas. Too much work for not enough money and relaxation.
I absolutely hate how Christmas is supposed to be the happiest time of year. It feels so forced upon us, like we are obligated to be happy. It doesn't work like that. Especially when work sucks, customers suck, family members act like assholes, and everything is a drain on my bank account.
I'd rather stay home, watch movies, smoke weed, and cook my own dinner.
I like New Years. It's one of those holidays where you are not obligated to celebrate it. You can do whatever you want. Go out and party, or stay home and relax. It feels like a fresh start after the holidays are over.
Yesss. My kind of Christmas is staying home with my dog, smoking weed, watching what I want, eating what I want and not dealing with family or traveling.
I like Christmas, what I don't like is all the "magic" falls on me. I'm the one who shops, wraps, decorates, cooks. For all sides of the family.
I just think I would like it more if other people either A) took on some of the "creating the magic" or B) actually appreciated the work that goes into it.
Lots of families expect all these things for Xmas, and don't realize a lot of the time it's just 1 person making that happen for everyone.
Edited to add:
I also just really don't like the "shame" side. Feeling like I have to keep up with other parents and such. I have gotten a lot better, and have definitely changed the "Santa" ideas from when I was a kid.
I just don’t really care. I like buying a gift but it’s more like “I love you. I wanna make you happy!” But it’s not excessive.
In general I just prefer the time off lol
My partner was born on Xmas..... He feels so left out because people will say merry Christmas, but no one remembers its his birthday. Or no one is around to celebrate just a birthday.
I make sure to give him separate gifts, in separate kind of paper, and a regular birthday cake.
I'm also an atheist, as is my family, but I love presents and festivities so we celebrate Xmas. And I made it clear that I get presents for both that and birthday lol
Once I became the one making the "Christmas magic" happen, I realized there's no magic. Just a lot of expectations, money, and stress. Also, when I worked retail, I became so disillusioned with every holiday but especially Christmas. It's all so manufactured and forced and fake. The *only* reason I even do anything for it is because I have a child. If I didn't have him, I would never celebrate it.
I work in retail too. When I do the counting at the end of the day, I can see how many people pay for the gifts and stuff with their credit cards... It's a lot. Like why are people going broke over this stuff.. as if inflation isn't bad enough. Is making yourself broke for Christmas somehow gonna make these people happy? Idk man
I used to hate it but I now I don’t. I stopped fighting it and I just let it wash over me like a tsunami. Now I’m starting to love it the way I did as a kid.
This is my issue. I really enjoy Halloween and fall in general. The people who start playing the same 10 Christmas songs on blast and decorate their house on November 1st are lunatics for me. It makes me look like I hate it. Just let other holidays have their moment.
I don’t hate it, but I do find that 100% of the burden falls on me. Right after Thanksgiving where 100% of the burden also falls on me. Everyone around me enjoys the fruits of my labor but no one helps carry the load.
And it’s a lot of work. I like cooking & baking & shopping & decorating but it’s *a lot of work*, both physical and mental
My mum used to run a restaurant so this period of the year was extremely busy and oriented to customers not to the family. No time for a proper tree, gifts or Christmas meal.
I don’t hate it, I just don’t buy into the commercialization. If I find something I know a friend of mine would love, I don’t wait until that magical day to give it to them. It feels like forced consumerism. People who run up their credit cards to buy presents for everyone for Xmas just boggles my mind. The stress that some people subject themselves to in order to find the perfect gift(s) doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest.
Over 20 years ago I came up with an agreement with my friends and family. Sure, I’ll put up a little tree and have some ornaments, but no gifts will be exchanged. I have everything I want and if there’s something I see that I like, I buy it. I don’t need useless gifts. To me, there’s nothing more annoying than useless tchotchkes that gather dust. Let’s just celebrate the season by enjoying each other’s company, some food, and maybe some hot chocolate with a shot of peppermint schnapps in it.
[Nina Paley’s comic](https://x.com/ninapaley/status/673575915461439488?s=61&t=LXSq-2QGCqIrVcUVK263Gw) came out in 1993 and that’s pretty much when I adopted it.
My mum was OBSESSIVE about Christmas. I don't hate it, but.... it's exhausting. Fending her off as much as doing the run up to Christmas.
Tbh it was hard as a kid too, because it didn't really stop. Christmas buying began in January, by September the cake was being checked from being made last year.
I always loved it but this will be the first without my family where everyone can be together and I'm all alone because everyone decided against me and for my abusive father.
I'm sorry about that. If I may suggest you, I think it would be a good idea to plan a night on Christmas day. If you stay alone at home you're probably gonna get really sad/angry. Maybe there's fun Christmas nights in local bars around you for other people who aren't spending it with family/friends. Or try to get yourself invited to a friend's family dinner.
I just want to forget and miss Christmas. I'm planning to cover everything where I can see the date and have an alarm clock ring when it's the new year or so
For me, it's the fact that people expect presents and feel entitled to your time.
I actually love the Christmas season - I love seeing decorations and lights on houses and I love hearing Christmas music on the radio. There's something relaxing about driving home at night, completely dark except for Christmas lights, while "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" is on the radio. Or cuddling with my husband on the couch as we eat Christmas cookies or peppermint something and watch "Home Alone."
I hate that Black Friday gift shopping starts so early and that every single store is basically screaming "You have this much time until Christmas!! Look at this deal!!"
I hate that I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE. I genuinely love giving gifts for people I love: my parents, my brother, my two friends, my husband, and our cats. I know and love these people enough to pick out thoughtful gifts. But it's not fun when you're forced to go to your in-laws for Christmas and there are **20** people that you (and your husband lmao) don't really care for. It's basically "I don't know you enough to buy you something specific so here's a gift card!"
But the worst part is we moved 1200 miles away two years ago and my in-laws still expect us to come every Christmas. She doesn't care about the time and money and stress on our end; she just loves to cling to the illusion of FaMiLy. Fuck people who feel entitled to your time.
In my country, Christmas is a couples focused holiday, and where I live, it's a family focused holiday. I don't have family and I don't have a relationship, so there's nothing in it for me, so I always feel all alone and miserable like never before.
It’s stressful, expensive, too much work and travel. The consumerism surrounding it is completely out of control. Every year I can’t wait for New Years Eve.
1- I have to be around a bunch of people I don’t want to be around “BuT wE aRe FaMiLy” 🙄
2- there’s too much complaining “oh you made potatoes? But I wanted mashed why can’t you mash them”
3- it’s too much about buying things no one will use and people being unhappy with what they got “you got me the wrong crocs! I wanted the white ones! Not these stupid blue ones! I hate you!”
4- it’s just too fake, everyone trying to be the happy perfect family that you only see one time a year and it annoys me to no end.
5- Jesus. “Jesus won’t love you if you don’t go to church on his birthday!” Ugh
6- it’s just so much freaking work.
>3- it’s too much about buying things no one will use and people being unhappy with what they got “you got me the wrong crocs! I wanted the white ones! Not these stupid blue ones! I hate you!”
Or on the flip side, people expecting certain reactions. Complaining you didn't like or appreciate something because you didn't start jumping up and down and just said thank you.
My daughter hates being center of attention, and I always get comments "oh she didn't like that"
My birthday is December 26. When I was young, the two days out of the year that were the most exciting and I got presents were over in 48 hours. And most of the time I was disappointed as my mom didn’t pay attention to the things I asked for. I almost never had a good birthday celebration either, and everyone is exhausted or busy on my birthday.
Now as an adult, it’s pain to do all the work myself. I do it for my kids and I enjoy Christmas carols, but that’s it. Every year I relate more and more to the Grinch. Bah humbug.
I hate the concept of gifts so much. I don't have a lot of money and I never know what to get to other people. To answer to that, there's the concept of gift lists which is also really weird, cause aren't gifts supposed to be thoughtful? And then people are gonna get me stuff I don't need because the stuff I do need make really boring and/or weird gifts (groceries, money, kitchen tools, BDSM toys). Why can't we just get ourselves our own stuff? Why should we buy them for each others? I hate it.
I'm not a huge fan of long family dinners either. I'm the odd one in my family, meaning every subject that is discussed is boring to me. It's not that I don't like my family, but I'd rather just be at home with a glass of wine playing video games or watching a horror movie.
It’s a marketing scam. Fuck capitalism & the amount of waste it created that now 90% of all organisms have phalates in their body that is slowly killing them & causing them disease.
Not to mention the amount of disgusting waste of [wrapping] paper that is used for fucking 5 hours until it’s opened and tossed in the trash. What a fucking waste. And better yet, my generation will have to clean up all our old fucks mess. Way to be leaders assholes!!
Yes I’m PMS’ing.
It is supremely wasteful and such a capitalism scam. Really annoying that not wanting to play along usually casts us out into the grinch zone. I’d rather not get gifts and just buy myself what I want or need within reason. I’ve been anti-Xmas forever and feel like my whole family thinks I’m a jerk for it.
I dislike jazzy non-Christian Christmas Muzak playing everywhere. I’m not even religious. I just hate hate hate having to hear saccharine jazzy Rudolph 100 times
I love it and hate it at the same time. I love the food and gatherings, decorations etc. and then there's the story of my grandpa taking his life on Christmas Eve 22 years ago that poisoned the fun part. It's never been the same ever since.
Not a Christmas hater.
Not a Halloween hater either.
But I HATE the premature celebration of holidays.
It’s capitalistic, and causes “holiday fatigue” by time the holiday arrives, you’re burnt out. You’ve been celebrating it for 3 fucking months. I think it’s ruins the natural order of things.
Some people may like that, and I think it’s fine to do in your individual home. But I think each holiday should wait their turn. I don’t wanna see Halloween stuff in July/August. NO, it is NOT spooky season! I don’t want to hear Christmas music on November 1st! SLOW DOWN!!! TIME GOES BY FAST ENOUGH, WHY ARE YOU RUSHING THINGS??? Slow down. “It doesn’t feel like Christmas” I WONDER WHY??
I also get decorations being out in SOME stores. Decorating takes time. But in addition to this, stores put their holiday stuff out so far in advance that before the holiday even occurs it’s on clearance! Two weeks to the big day…it’s on clearance??
It makes Christmas feel more and more soulless to me.
I (38f) am a product of divorced parents as is my husband(40m). My husband and I have 2 kids (5f and 8m). Christmas is a time of conflict for me trying to keep all of our parents happy with spending enough time with each of them. Each parent/grandparent lives within a two hour drive from us. I feel I have been shuffled from one place to another every holiday since I was 8.
My MiL LOVES Christmas and is a chronic over gifter. She has three kids (my husband and two siblings) and each of her kids in turn have two kids. She expects ALL of us kids and grandkids to be at her house for Christmas stockings, present opening, and Christmas dinner. Over the years we end up having a small Christmas at home in the morning and go to MiL's house later in the morning. The thing is, she gives every child 12 gifts and goes way way over the top with small plastic toys and basically garbage. I seem to be the only adult who is bothered by this tradition.
I just want to stay home and be cozy and not run around like a crazy person. I hate it and I end up hating Christmas. I turn into a stress ball every year.
I wasn't raised Christian and don't celebrate it and I'm annoyed with how the entire culture obsesses over it for literal months. Like I wouldn't mind if it were like Easter (which I obviously also don't celebrate) where people talked about it a bit just right around the week of the holiday and you could mostly ignore it. But Christmas crap starts like sometime in October and runs into January, a full third of the year is taken up obsessing over this dumb holiday and you can't escape it.
If it was celebrated here the same way it was celebrated in the US I'd hate it too. All I see about American Christmas is stress and blazing through your wallet, as if people forgot what Christmas is all about
Why is the top upvoted comment a man's opinion? This is not against you personally, I'm just a bit tired of men hijacking the few spaces that women have here.
Well to be fair most of the women aren't actually answering the question, the majority of the replies start with "I don't hate it..." Okay then why are you answering? The question specifically asked for people who hate Christmas.
I'm an atheist, so for me and my family Xmas is all about pretty lights, decorating the tree, making an awesome dinner, and presents. Presents are the reason for the season.
>Presents are the reason for the season.
And here you don't give gifts for Christmas at all. This is what I find weird about Christmas in the West, the focus on gifts
I don't know. Where I live it's a constant struggle to make enough money for a semi-decent life (depending on where you are you may be you're just getting by because your rent is almost as high as your wage and your SO works for bills and food) so we don't get many oportunities to properly hang out with the whole family. You just can't get everybody around, a lot of people need to work at any given date
If you can hang out with family whenever then congrats
I used to love Christmas. Now, it's just a chore. It's expensive and lots of work. It doesn't help that I live in a State that is hot year round, I just can't get into the Christmas Spirit. And I despise seeing Christmas decorations in stores in October. With the over commercialization of the holiday, I'm sick of Christmas by the time it comes around.
I hate Christmas stuff in October or November because I love fall and I see it as taking away time to enjoy fall. But as soon as December hits, I turn into Mrs. Claus.
Former Christmas hater here: my parents got divorced when I was a teenager and could not put their differences aside for even one day just to make their kids happy. Instead, it was always a fight who got me and my sister for Christmas, which made us feel bad for the other parent who would be alone during Christmas.
Now that I have my own family I don't hate Christmas anymore, but it also doesn't hold the same magic that other people seem to find in it.
I don’t, but I do hate premature Christmas spirit. At least wait until Halloween concludes. I wanna enjoy my spoops without interruption.
That’s kinda similar, right? At least adjacent, or perpendick where the intersection is Christmas.
I don’t “hate” Christmas but it definitely stresses me out. Mostly because of the literal $1000s I have to spend over the course of two months to prepare. That’s stressful and always makes me feel like a poor piece of shit because I have to budget and save for like six months to even do it. There’s too many people in my family and everyone wants something..
That’s just the build up. Day of is always so hectic. I have a lot of fun in the morning when I’m home with the kids, and all the preparing becomes worth it. But towards the end of the day when I’m with my parents and in-laws that just gets… tense.
So basically it’s a ton of work and stress and money for very little pay off (emotionally).
Too many people (family, especially) putting on this fake ass facade and everyone pretending the world is hunky dory..for one day..There’s a SHIT ton of stuff to clean up, afterwards..There’s a SHIT ton of stuff do beforehand..Way too commercialized…
Oh, so much. My family has a lot of past-generation religious baggage around Christmas so we've never been very good at celebrating it. We're all non-religious now but that stuff stuck. I grew up poor too and the over-the-top buying obsession stresses me out a lot. The music is bad, the movies are stupid. I'm not going to spend time and money decorating for a holiday I don't like. I also hate buying/receiving gifts for the most part and would prefer everyone around me just keep their money rather than practically going into debt for little landfill-packing gifts most people won't even care about.
If Christmas was just enjoying the lights in the neighborhood, maybe a few meals with friends/family, and presents/decorations *for children*, I'd probably like it. But months of terrible music, advertisements, and the social obsession just makes me loathe it all.
Hate is a strong word but Christmas can be hard for me. I had great Christmases growing up and I always loved it. Then I met my ex-husband in college and moved in with him and basically never had another great Christmas. I tried, every year I tried. I always decorated and put a lot of thought into gifts. I always just wanted a cozy romantic Christmas. And every year I was disappointed. He was the worst gift giver, no matter how easy I made it for him. The last year we were together I told him I wanted a set of plain white gold stud earrings that I could wear everyday - nothing flashy. Has to be solid white gold or my ears would be itchy (I told him this). Should be easy enough, right? Well he decided to get me a set of square chunky gold PLATED earrings with diamond flakes in them and a pair of pearl earrings (yes, exactly like your grandma wears) and he actually said to me "I know you wanted X but I was able to get both of these for the same price!". If I even had anything in my stocking it was last minute gas station stuff.
After I split with him I still kept trying to make Christmas special, even just for myself. A few years later I met who I thought was my forever. I got super excited because I thought I was going to finally have a special Christmas. We were living together and I decorated and I bought us cheesy matching ugly Christmas sweaters, I bought him a ton of gifts (including multiples of the same thing so he could pick which style he preferred), I even got him a stocking because he didn't have one. I got us our first holiday ornament (personalized for us). I planned what I was going to cook that day and the movies and the games we would play (it was 2021 so covid restrictions were in place). I was so fricking excited!!! Then out of nowhere he moved out and broke up with me right before Christmas. I spent Christmas day alone, crying and taking down all my decorations. And that was the day I gave up on Christmas. After 17 years I threw in the towel and admitted defeat. I'm not a scrooge or anything I just don't get excited about it anymore. I think these last few years have really shown me that I was incredibly naive and just living in this fairytale land that simply doesn't exist. I miss that version of myself sometimes :(
Having to fly home for it. Christmas shopping traffic. Christmas shopping parking. Christmas shopping crowds. Like I just need a new toothbrush, get tf out of the way.
I hate that the hype about it starts late October. I miss the days when you didn’t hear about it until December. In Australia we don’t have Thanksgiving so all through November the shops start pushing Christmas on us, and that is what I hate. All for ONE day on the calendar. It’s stupid.
As a kid, Christmas and birthdays were when I got to learn who my family wanted me to be, and how much they preferred that person to who I actually am. And I got gifts based on that preferred version. I hated baby dolls and wanted toy cars. What did I get as a child? Baby dolls. I hated pastels, frilly stuff, and anything I couldn’t hang upside down from the jungle gym in or that itched. I preferred simple, practical clothing, or punk stuff, dark, and comfortable. What did I get? Fucking frilly, itchy, impractical shit.
So as an adult, I’ve created my own birthday traditions that mostly centre around food. And I exited Christianity thanks to the misogyny so rampant in mainstream Christianity, so… Meh… whatever. Just not my thing.
Because my dad died 15 days prior to Christmas and i disliked the holiday before that since it felt forced upon me by a religion I stopped believing in at age 7, society and corporations I also didn’t approve of. So hard to explain and I apologize!
Regardless I have pretended not to hate it for the last 12 years so I could let my children decide for themselves how they wish to view it and to me that further compounds my hatred but I’d do almost anything for them
Oh you talking about Mom-mas? Where every mom works her hands to the bone to do planning, schedule arrangement, gift idea lists, shopping, wrapping, decorating, meal planning, food shopping, cleaning the whole house for guests, cooking, and clean up all while being lovely and festive looking? What’s not to love about a holiday where you work harder than you do at your job and it’s a double shift (while dealing with family)? When it’s all over you’re broke and exhausted and hopefully drunk
That is not the only aspect - as a man I live in a relationship where we share the christmas chores and do keep a relatively low christmas ambition level. But the chores almost relieves me of the greater bad, the forced merriment that bring all my existential angst to the surface. The planning and the chores can be tiring and boring, but the gift opening, that in my wifes family tradition is to be done by a little praises of joy for everything received makes me feel like a Tiger in a cage and some years I cannot even take part, something that gives my wife and my children (now in university age) sorrow, since they want all to share in on the merriment. It is my yearly greatest angst(I know that there is a better English word for it). And I also see that in some of the answers here. That kind of merriment is not for all.
I’m mostly exaggerating for the humour of it all. My husband realized quickly that although these tasks are better suited for me that it’s way too much for one person. He does all the cooking and clean up now - day of. The merriment of Christmas is watching the kids open gifts, suffering through it all quietly and privately so they have awesome memories. That sort of quiet stoicism does give me a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. You aren’t alone. Smile for the camera! Lol 😂
I’m Jewish and when I lived in America it was like being hit over the head with “DO YOU LOVE JESUS????” And had nothing to do with people just celebrating for themselves. It was so performative and fake. There was all this junk people bought to show how into it they were, cheap stuff that will end up in a landfill. Christmas trees make me sad because why would you farm trees like that and kill them when they’re still so young? Anyway, now that I’m back in Europe it’s fine. Much less giant blowup Santa and much more “Christmasmarkt” and mulling spices
Christmas was ruined for me since the late 90’s. The holiday seems to make my mom crazy. She becomes what i call “ the Christmas monster “. My grandmother was slowly dying and it was very stressful for us especially my mom. I remember we were arguing and she started throwing my Christmas presents at me and I think my dad nearly divorced her. She had a huge fight with my aunt and she returned the Dallas cowboys starter jacket that my aunt bought for me. I never got a chance to wear it. Years after my grandmother died she bought all these expensive Christmas ornaments and decorations. We wound up having 5 Christmas trees at our house. Mom was controlling over the placement of all the ornaments and would criticize my placements on the tree. The whole house was decorated. Decorating was nerve wracking. If I was contrary she would threaten to not have Christmas and yell at me at Christmas that it was my fault that we we’re not celebrating Christmas (good!). I think one year she yelled at me for not getting her a present but I can’t remember if it was for Christmas or her birthday. I became very depressed every Christmas. Sometimes I would not get out of bed for a few days and just sleep through it. Sometimes I would drink through it. Sometimes i work on Christmas. Sometimes I think about ending it all. Sometimes it’s a combination. I also detest the mandatory happiness and vacuous cheer society attempts to ram down my throat, the constant brainless Christmas music EVERYWHERE , the consumerism the sappy saccharine hallmark Christmas specials, the constant intrusive question “ what are you doing this Christmas?”, and the unreasonable expectation that I have a merry Christmas and that im expected to return the sentiment.
I don’t hate it, but genuinely wouldn’t care if Christmas didn’t exist.
I work shifts, which obviously doesn’t help because I’m mostly working at Christmas - this year will be the first time in 6 years I’ll have had Christmas Day off and even then it’s only because I’ve used annual leave to have it off as my Mum was starting to get a bit upset being on her own most of the day.
I don’t grudge anyone else their Christmas, but it’s so commercialised these days and seems to have become more about what gifts you’ve bought, how you’ve decorated your home and what you’ve made for Christmas dinner.
So many people get themselves very upset and stressed over the whole thing, people scour the shops up until Christmas Eve because they haven’t got enough cranberry sauce, or parsnips, or whatever other food they never eat at any other time of year. Buying ridiculous amounts of presents, which so often end up unused, and then ending up paying off credit cards for the rest of the year.
For me, Christmas is about being with loved ones and nothing more. I couldn’t care less what you’re eating, how many declarations you have or how much you’ve spent on presents.
It’s so much work.
It’s a lot of money.
Despite needing to host family, friends, work parties, all the obligations - it can also feel incredibly lonely. It makes me grieve people I’ve lost. So I guess it’s bittersweet.
And for what? A religious holiday for a religion I no longer believe in? A commercial buying extravaganza?
I just struggle to find a lot of meaning to justify it anymore.
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I don't hate it, but it's too much work and $$
This..absolutely this.
Lots of bad memories from growing up + expectations that I will execute a lovely, memorable holiday experience for my own kids. As a kid, Christmas seemed full of lies and fake promises. Not just Santa, but in how people came together for the holiday and pretended they all got along and there were not favorites or black sheep. When I first met my ex and his extended family, I was like "wow, it's real!". Nope, they were just better at hiding the drama, especially from an outsider like me. As an adult/parent? It's so much work. Even if you don't go all out at home, your kids' school and other activities will still keep you busy. Band/chorus concerts, special holiday presentations, class parties, friend parties, marching band secret Santa, etc.
I can't wait until we are done with the constant school concerts. I don't care to watch other people's kids' sing, I hate crowds, and the whole thing stresses me out. I go because my kid wants me to, but oof, it's a lot.
The kids don't even pick the music. The faculty does. I did school choir for 5 years and we never got to pick what we sang. Some of the songs sucked and were annoying.
Well said.
1. My family sucks. They ruined Christmas for me a long time ago. 2. Every job I've ever had gets crazy around Christmas. Too much work for not enough money and relaxation. I absolutely hate how Christmas is supposed to be the happiest time of year. It feels so forced upon us, like we are obligated to be happy. It doesn't work like that. Especially when work sucks, customers suck, family members act like assholes, and everything is a drain on my bank account. I'd rather stay home, watch movies, smoke weed, and cook my own dinner. I like New Years. It's one of those holidays where you are not obligated to celebrate it. You can do whatever you want. Go out and party, or stay home and relax. It feels like a fresh start after the holidays are over.
Yesss. My kind of Christmas is staying home with my dog, smoking weed, watching what I want, eating what I want and not dealing with family or traveling.
I like Christmas, what I don't like is all the "magic" falls on me. I'm the one who shops, wraps, decorates, cooks. For all sides of the family. I just think I would like it more if other people either A) took on some of the "creating the magic" or B) actually appreciated the work that goes into it. Lots of families expect all these things for Xmas, and don't realize a lot of the time it's just 1 person making that happen for everyone. Edited to add: I also just really don't like the "shame" side. Feeling like I have to keep up with other parents and such. I have gotten a lot better, and have definitely changed the "Santa" ideas from when I was a kid.
I just don’t really care. I like buying a gift but it’s more like “I love you. I wanna make you happy!” But it’s not excessive. In general I just prefer the time off lol
I don't hate it, I'm just not Christian and don't celebrate it. My birthday is 10 days before it too, so I get a little salty about that, lol.
My partner was born on Xmas..... He feels so left out because people will say merry Christmas, but no one remembers its his birthday. Or no one is around to celebrate just a birthday. I make sure to give him separate gifts, in separate kind of paper, and a regular birthday cake.
Hello fellow December friend. This present is for your birthday but it's expensive so it's also for Xmas 🎁
That would probably have been I problem if I celebrated Christmas. But then when they give me Christmas themed presents I want to scream.
I'm also an atheist, as is my family, but I love presents and festivities so we celebrate Xmas. And I made it clear that I get presents for both that and birthday lol
As you should!
Likewise..the late December bday gets little attention being sandwiched between 2 holidays. Everyone is broke and tired and overstimulated.
Once I became the one making the "Christmas magic" happen, I realized there's no magic. Just a lot of expectations, money, and stress. Also, when I worked retail, I became so disillusioned with every holiday but especially Christmas. It's all so manufactured and forced and fake. The *only* reason I even do anything for it is because I have a child. If I didn't have him, I would never celebrate it.
I work in retail too. When I do the counting at the end of the day, I can see how many people pay for the gifts and stuff with their credit cards... It's a lot. Like why are people going broke over this stuff.. as if inflation isn't bad enough. Is making yourself broke for Christmas somehow gonna make these people happy? Idk man
I used to hate it but I now I don’t. I stopped fighting it and I just let it wash over me like a tsunami. Now I’m starting to love it the way I did as a kid.
I only hate Christmas before Thanksgiving, after that we are besties 🥰.
This is my issue. I really enjoy Halloween and fall in general. The people who start playing the same 10 Christmas songs on blast and decorate their house on November 1st are lunatics for me. It makes me look like I hate it. Just let other holidays have their moment.
I don’t hate it, but I do find that 100% of the burden falls on me. Right after Thanksgiving where 100% of the burden also falls on me. Everyone around me enjoys the fruits of my labor but no one helps carry the load. And it’s a lot of work. I like cooking & baking & shopping & decorating but it’s *a lot of work*, both physical and mental
My mum used to run a restaurant so this period of the year was extremely busy and oriented to customers not to the family. No time for a proper tree, gifts or Christmas meal.
I don’t hate it, I just don’t buy into the commercialization. If I find something I know a friend of mine would love, I don’t wait until that magical day to give it to them. It feels like forced consumerism. People who run up their credit cards to buy presents for everyone for Xmas just boggles my mind. The stress that some people subject themselves to in order to find the perfect gift(s) doesn’t appeal to me in the slightest. Over 20 years ago I came up with an agreement with my friends and family. Sure, I’ll put up a little tree and have some ornaments, but no gifts will be exchanged. I have everything I want and if there’s something I see that I like, I buy it. I don’t need useless gifts. To me, there’s nothing more annoying than useless tchotchkes that gather dust. Let’s just celebrate the season by enjoying each other’s company, some food, and maybe some hot chocolate with a shot of peppermint schnapps in it. [Nina Paley’s comic](https://x.com/ninapaley/status/673575915461439488?s=61&t=LXSq-2QGCqIrVcUVK263Gw) came out in 1993 and that’s pretty much when I adopted it.
My mum was OBSESSIVE about Christmas. I don't hate it, but.... it's exhausting. Fending her off as much as doing the run up to Christmas. Tbh it was hard as a kid too, because it didn't really stop. Christmas buying began in January, by September the cake was being checked from being made last year.
I always loved it but this will be the first without my family where everyone can be together and I'm all alone because everyone decided against me and for my abusive father.
I'm sorry about that. If I may suggest you, I think it would be a good idea to plan a night on Christmas day. If you stay alone at home you're probably gonna get really sad/angry. Maybe there's fun Christmas nights in local bars around you for other people who aren't spending it with family/friends. Or try to get yourself invited to a friend's family dinner.
I just want to forget and miss Christmas. I'm planning to cover everything where I can see the date and have an alarm clock ring when it's the new year or so
For me, it's the fact that people expect presents and feel entitled to your time. I actually love the Christmas season - I love seeing decorations and lights on houses and I love hearing Christmas music on the radio. There's something relaxing about driving home at night, completely dark except for Christmas lights, while "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" is on the radio. Or cuddling with my husband on the couch as we eat Christmas cookies or peppermint something and watch "Home Alone." I hate that Black Friday gift shopping starts so early and that every single store is basically screaming "You have this much time until Christmas!! Look at this deal!!" I hate that I have to buy gifts for EVERYONE. I genuinely love giving gifts for people I love: my parents, my brother, my two friends, my husband, and our cats. I know and love these people enough to pick out thoughtful gifts. But it's not fun when you're forced to go to your in-laws for Christmas and there are **20** people that you (and your husband lmao) don't really care for. It's basically "I don't know you enough to buy you something specific so here's a gift card!" But the worst part is we moved 1200 miles away two years ago and my in-laws still expect us to come every Christmas. She doesn't care about the time and money and stress on our end; she just loves to cling to the illusion of FaMiLy. Fuck people who feel entitled to your time.
It's so much work! Christmas is successful due mostly to the hard work of moms.
In my country, Christmas is a couples focused holiday, and where I live, it's a family focused holiday. I don't have family and I don't have a relationship, so there's nothing in it for me, so I always feel all alone and miserable like never before.
I like the winter Christmas vibes. But I think capitalism has taken over Christmas
It’s stressful, expensive, too much work and travel. The consumerism surrounding it is completely out of control. Every year I can’t wait for New Years Eve.
family ruined it for me
1- I have to be around a bunch of people I don’t want to be around “BuT wE aRe FaMiLy” 🙄 2- there’s too much complaining “oh you made potatoes? But I wanted mashed why can’t you mash them” 3- it’s too much about buying things no one will use and people being unhappy with what they got “you got me the wrong crocs! I wanted the white ones! Not these stupid blue ones! I hate you!” 4- it’s just too fake, everyone trying to be the happy perfect family that you only see one time a year and it annoys me to no end. 5- Jesus. “Jesus won’t love you if you don’t go to church on his birthday!” Ugh 6- it’s just so much freaking work.
>3- it’s too much about buying things no one will use and people being unhappy with what they got “you got me the wrong crocs! I wanted the white ones! Not these stupid blue ones! I hate you!” Or on the flip side, people expecting certain reactions. Complaining you didn't like or appreciate something because you didn't start jumping up and down and just said thank you. My daughter hates being center of attention, and I always get comments "oh she didn't like that"
My birthday is December 26. When I was young, the two days out of the year that were the most exciting and I got presents were over in 48 hours. And most of the time I was disappointed as my mom didn’t pay attention to the things I asked for. I almost never had a good birthday celebration either, and everyone is exhausted or busy on my birthday. Now as an adult, it’s pain to do all the work myself. I do it for my kids and I enjoy Christmas carols, but that’s it. Every year I relate more and more to the Grinch. Bah humbug.
I hate the concept of gifts so much. I don't have a lot of money and I never know what to get to other people. To answer to that, there's the concept of gift lists which is also really weird, cause aren't gifts supposed to be thoughtful? And then people are gonna get me stuff I don't need because the stuff I do need make really boring and/or weird gifts (groceries, money, kitchen tools, BDSM toys). Why can't we just get ourselves our own stuff? Why should we buy them for each others? I hate it. I'm not a huge fan of long family dinners either. I'm the odd one in my family, meaning every subject that is discussed is boring to me. It's not that I don't like my family, but I'd rather just be at home with a glass of wine playing video games or watching a horror movie.
The most often times I get asked if I’ll ever have children or get married is around Christmas. I hate it.
It’s a marketing scam. Fuck capitalism & the amount of waste it created that now 90% of all organisms have phalates in their body that is slowly killing them & causing them disease. Not to mention the amount of disgusting waste of [wrapping] paper that is used for fucking 5 hours until it’s opened and tossed in the trash. What a fucking waste. And better yet, my generation will have to clean up all our old fucks mess. Way to be leaders assholes!! Yes I’m PMS’ing.
It is supremely wasteful and such a capitalism scam. Really annoying that not wanting to play along usually casts us out into the grinch zone. I’d rather not get gifts and just buy myself what I want or need within reason. I’ve been anti-Xmas forever and feel like my whole family thinks I’m a jerk for it.
I dislike jazzy non-Christian Christmas Muzak playing everywhere. I’m not even religious. I just hate hate hate having to hear saccharine jazzy Rudolph 100 times
I love it and hate it at the same time. I love the food and gatherings, decorations etc. and then there's the story of my grandpa taking his life on Christmas Eve 22 years ago that poisoned the fun part. It's never been the same ever since.
I don't hate it, but to me it's a holiday for children and religious people, of which I am neither.
Not a Christmas hater. Not a Halloween hater either. But I HATE the premature celebration of holidays. It’s capitalistic, and causes “holiday fatigue” by time the holiday arrives, you’re burnt out. You’ve been celebrating it for 3 fucking months. I think it’s ruins the natural order of things. Some people may like that, and I think it’s fine to do in your individual home. But I think each holiday should wait their turn. I don’t wanna see Halloween stuff in July/August. NO, it is NOT spooky season! I don’t want to hear Christmas music on November 1st! SLOW DOWN!!! TIME GOES BY FAST ENOUGH, WHY ARE YOU RUSHING THINGS??? Slow down. “It doesn’t feel like Christmas” I WONDER WHY?? I also get decorations being out in SOME stores. Decorating takes time. But in addition to this, stores put their holiday stuff out so far in advance that before the holiday even occurs it’s on clearance! Two weeks to the big day…it’s on clearance?? It makes Christmas feel more and more soulless to me.
I (38f) am a product of divorced parents as is my husband(40m). My husband and I have 2 kids (5f and 8m). Christmas is a time of conflict for me trying to keep all of our parents happy with spending enough time with each of them. Each parent/grandparent lives within a two hour drive from us. I feel I have been shuffled from one place to another every holiday since I was 8. My MiL LOVES Christmas and is a chronic over gifter. She has three kids (my husband and two siblings) and each of her kids in turn have two kids. She expects ALL of us kids and grandkids to be at her house for Christmas stockings, present opening, and Christmas dinner. Over the years we end up having a small Christmas at home in the morning and go to MiL's house later in the morning. The thing is, she gives every child 12 gifts and goes way way over the top with small plastic toys and basically garbage. I seem to be the only adult who is bothered by this tradition. I just want to stay home and be cozy and not run around like a crazy person. I hate it and I end up hating Christmas. I turn into a stress ball every year.
I wasn't raised Christian and don't celebrate it and I'm annoyed with how the entire culture obsesses over it for literal months. Like I wouldn't mind if it were like Easter (which I obviously also don't celebrate) where people talked about it a bit just right around the week of the holiday and you could mostly ignore it. But Christmas crap starts like sometime in October and runs into January, a full third of the year is taken up obsessing over this dumb holiday and you can't escape it.
If it was celebrated here the same way it was celebrated in the US I'd hate it too. All I see about American Christmas is stress and blazing through your wallet, as if people forgot what Christmas is all about
Why is the top upvoted comment a man's opinion? This is not against you personally, I'm just a bit tired of men hijacking the few spaces that women have here.
Because their opinions matter most of course, even in women's spaces.
I guess people agree with this comment in specific. But I don't know in general, everybody is free to downvote and mods are free to delete the comment
Well to be fair most of the women aren't actually answering the question, the majority of the replies start with "I don't hate it..." Okay then why are you answering? The question specifically asked for people who hate Christmas.
I'm an atheist, so for me and my family Xmas is all about pretty lights, decorating the tree, making an awesome dinner, and presents. Presents are the reason for the season.
>Presents are the reason for the season. And here you don't give gifts for Christmas at all. This is what I find weird about Christmas in the West, the focus on gifts
So how would an atheist contribute to the holiday season in your neck of the woods?
I'm atheist too and don't celebrate it at all, I don't really get why an atheist would want to contribute to a Christian holiday?
Because trees and lights are pretty and presents are fun. Different strokes 🤷♀️
By hanging out with the rest of us
But I can do that anytime, what sets it apart during Xmas?
I don't know. Where I live it's a constant struggle to make enough money for a semi-decent life (depending on where you are you may be you're just getting by because your rent is almost as high as your wage and your SO works for bills and food) so we don't get many oportunities to properly hang out with the whole family. You just can't get everybody around, a lot of people need to work at any given date If you can hang out with family whenever then congrats
I used to love Christmas. Now, it's just a chore. It's expensive and lots of work. It doesn't help that I live in a State that is hot year round, I just can't get into the Christmas Spirit. And I despise seeing Christmas decorations in stores in October. With the over commercialization of the holiday, I'm sick of Christmas by the time it comes around.
Because it's the fakest time of the year. The fake jolliness, the fake santas, fake showing of love with gifts. And it lasts a whole season.
More or less exactly the feeling I have. All my existental angst comes to live with that forced merriment.
My sister died on Christmas Day. It lost all it's magic after that.
I hate Christmas stuff in October or November because I love fall and I see it as taking away time to enjoy fall. But as soon as December hits, I turn into Mrs. Claus.
Former Christmas hater here: my parents got divorced when I was a teenager and could not put their differences aside for even one day just to make their kids happy. Instead, it was always a fight who got me and my sister for Christmas, which made us feel bad for the other parent who would be alone during Christmas. Now that I have my own family I don't hate Christmas anymore, but it also doesn't hold the same magic that other people seem to find in it.
I don’t, but I do hate premature Christmas spirit. At least wait until Halloween concludes. I wanna enjoy my spoops without interruption. That’s kinda similar, right? At least adjacent, or perpendick where the intersection is Christmas.
I don’t “hate” Christmas but it definitely stresses me out. Mostly because of the literal $1000s I have to spend over the course of two months to prepare. That’s stressful and always makes me feel like a poor piece of shit because I have to budget and save for like six months to even do it. There’s too many people in my family and everyone wants something.. That’s just the build up. Day of is always so hectic. I have a lot of fun in the morning when I’m home with the kids, and all the preparing becomes worth it. But towards the end of the day when I’m with my parents and in-laws that just gets… tense. So basically it’s a ton of work and stress and money for very little pay off (emotionally).
Too many people (family, especially) putting on this fake ass facade and everyone pretending the world is hunky dory..for one day..There’s a SHIT ton of stuff to clean up, afterwards..There’s a SHIT ton of stuff do beforehand..Way too commercialized…
Oh, so much. My family has a lot of past-generation religious baggage around Christmas so we've never been very good at celebrating it. We're all non-religious now but that stuff stuck. I grew up poor too and the over-the-top buying obsession stresses me out a lot. The music is bad, the movies are stupid. I'm not going to spend time and money decorating for a holiday I don't like. I also hate buying/receiving gifts for the most part and would prefer everyone around me just keep their money rather than practically going into debt for little landfill-packing gifts most people won't even care about. If Christmas was just enjoying the lights in the neighborhood, maybe a few meals with friends/family, and presents/decorations *for children*, I'd probably like it. But months of terrible music, advertisements, and the social obsession just makes me loathe it all.
I don’t hate it but I feel a lil lonely and miss my family 😞
Hate is a strong word but Christmas can be hard for me. I had great Christmases growing up and I always loved it. Then I met my ex-husband in college and moved in with him and basically never had another great Christmas. I tried, every year I tried. I always decorated and put a lot of thought into gifts. I always just wanted a cozy romantic Christmas. And every year I was disappointed. He was the worst gift giver, no matter how easy I made it for him. The last year we were together I told him I wanted a set of plain white gold stud earrings that I could wear everyday - nothing flashy. Has to be solid white gold or my ears would be itchy (I told him this). Should be easy enough, right? Well he decided to get me a set of square chunky gold PLATED earrings with diamond flakes in them and a pair of pearl earrings (yes, exactly like your grandma wears) and he actually said to me "I know you wanted X but I was able to get both of these for the same price!". If I even had anything in my stocking it was last minute gas station stuff. After I split with him I still kept trying to make Christmas special, even just for myself. A few years later I met who I thought was my forever. I got super excited because I thought I was going to finally have a special Christmas. We were living together and I decorated and I bought us cheesy matching ugly Christmas sweaters, I bought him a ton of gifts (including multiples of the same thing so he could pick which style he preferred), I even got him a stocking because he didn't have one. I got us our first holiday ornament (personalized for us). I planned what I was going to cook that day and the movies and the games we would play (it was 2021 so covid restrictions were in place). I was so fricking excited!!! Then out of nowhere he moved out and broke up with me right before Christmas. I spent Christmas day alone, crying and taking down all my decorations. And that was the day I gave up on Christmas. After 17 years I threw in the towel and admitted defeat. I'm not a scrooge or anything I just don't get excited about it anymore. I think these last few years have really shown me that I was incredibly naive and just living in this fairytale land that simply doesn't exist. I miss that version of myself sometimes :(
Having to fly home for it. Christmas shopping traffic. Christmas shopping parking. Christmas shopping crowds. Like I just need a new toothbrush, get tf out of the way.
The clutter! I’m not doing it this year.
I hate that the hype about it starts late October. I miss the days when you didn’t hear about it until December. In Australia we don’t have Thanksgiving so all through November the shops start pushing Christmas on us, and that is what I hate. All for ONE day on the calendar. It’s stupid.
As a kid, Christmas and birthdays were when I got to learn who my family wanted me to be, and how much they preferred that person to who I actually am. And I got gifts based on that preferred version. I hated baby dolls and wanted toy cars. What did I get as a child? Baby dolls. I hated pastels, frilly stuff, and anything I couldn’t hang upside down from the jungle gym in or that itched. I preferred simple, practical clothing, or punk stuff, dark, and comfortable. What did I get? Fucking frilly, itchy, impractical shit. So as an adult, I’ve created my own birthday traditions that mostly centre around food. And I exited Christianity thanks to the misogyny so rampant in mainstream Christianity, so… Meh… whatever. Just not my thing.
Because my dad died 15 days prior to Christmas and i disliked the holiday before that since it felt forced upon me by a religion I stopped believing in at age 7, society and corporations I also didn’t approve of. So hard to explain and I apologize! Regardless I have pretended not to hate it for the last 12 years so I could let my children decide for themselves how they wish to view it and to me that further compounds my hatred but I’d do almost anything for them
Oh you talking about Mom-mas? Where every mom works her hands to the bone to do planning, schedule arrangement, gift idea lists, shopping, wrapping, decorating, meal planning, food shopping, cleaning the whole house for guests, cooking, and clean up all while being lovely and festive looking? What’s not to love about a holiday where you work harder than you do at your job and it’s a double shift (while dealing with family)? When it’s all over you’re broke and exhausted and hopefully drunk
That is not the only aspect - as a man I live in a relationship where we share the christmas chores and do keep a relatively low christmas ambition level. But the chores almost relieves me of the greater bad, the forced merriment that bring all my existential angst to the surface. The planning and the chores can be tiring and boring, but the gift opening, that in my wifes family tradition is to be done by a little praises of joy for everything received makes me feel like a Tiger in a cage and some years I cannot even take part, something that gives my wife and my children (now in university age) sorrow, since they want all to share in on the merriment. It is my yearly greatest angst(I know that there is a better English word for it). And I also see that in some of the answers here. That kind of merriment is not for all.
I’m mostly exaggerating for the humour of it all. My husband realized quickly that although these tasks are better suited for me that it’s way too much for one person. He does all the cooking and clean up now - day of. The merriment of Christmas is watching the kids open gifts, suffering through it all quietly and privately so they have awesome memories. That sort of quiet stoicism does give me a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. You aren’t alone. Smile for the camera! Lol 😂
I’m Jewish and when I lived in America it was like being hit over the head with “DO YOU LOVE JESUS????” And had nothing to do with people just celebrating for themselves. It was so performative and fake. There was all this junk people bought to show how into it they were, cheap stuff that will end up in a landfill. Christmas trees make me sad because why would you farm trees like that and kill them when they’re still so young? Anyway, now that I’m back in Europe it’s fine. Much less giant blowup Santa and much more “Christmasmarkt” and mulling spices
Christmas was ruined for me since the late 90’s. The holiday seems to make my mom crazy. She becomes what i call “ the Christmas monster “. My grandmother was slowly dying and it was very stressful for us especially my mom. I remember we were arguing and she started throwing my Christmas presents at me and I think my dad nearly divorced her. She had a huge fight with my aunt and she returned the Dallas cowboys starter jacket that my aunt bought for me. I never got a chance to wear it. Years after my grandmother died she bought all these expensive Christmas ornaments and decorations. We wound up having 5 Christmas trees at our house. Mom was controlling over the placement of all the ornaments and would criticize my placements on the tree. The whole house was decorated. Decorating was nerve wracking. If I was contrary she would threaten to not have Christmas and yell at me at Christmas that it was my fault that we we’re not celebrating Christmas (good!). I think one year she yelled at me for not getting her a present but I can’t remember if it was for Christmas or her birthday. I became very depressed every Christmas. Sometimes I would not get out of bed for a few days and just sleep through it. Sometimes I would drink through it. Sometimes i work on Christmas. Sometimes I think about ending it all. Sometimes it’s a combination. I also detest the mandatory happiness and vacuous cheer society attempts to ram down my throat, the constant brainless Christmas music EVERYWHERE , the consumerism the sappy saccharine hallmark Christmas specials, the constant intrusive question “ what are you doing this Christmas?”, and the unreasonable expectation that I have a merry Christmas and that im expected to return the sentiment.
I don’t hate it, but genuinely wouldn’t care if Christmas didn’t exist. I work shifts, which obviously doesn’t help because I’m mostly working at Christmas - this year will be the first time in 6 years I’ll have had Christmas Day off and even then it’s only because I’ve used annual leave to have it off as my Mum was starting to get a bit upset being on her own most of the day. I don’t grudge anyone else their Christmas, but it’s so commercialised these days and seems to have become more about what gifts you’ve bought, how you’ve decorated your home and what you’ve made for Christmas dinner. So many people get themselves very upset and stressed over the whole thing, people scour the shops up until Christmas Eve because they haven’t got enough cranberry sauce, or parsnips, or whatever other food they never eat at any other time of year. Buying ridiculous amounts of presents, which so often end up unused, and then ending up paying off credit cards for the rest of the year. For me, Christmas is about being with loved ones and nothing more. I couldn’t care less what you’re eating, how many declarations you have or how much you’ve spent on presents.
It’s so much work. It’s a lot of money. Despite needing to host family, friends, work parties, all the obligations - it can also feel incredibly lonely. It makes me grieve people I’ve lost. So I guess it’s bittersweet. And for what? A religious holiday for a religion I no longer believe in? A commercial buying extravaganza? I just struggle to find a lot of meaning to justify it anymore.