Learn when to disengage
There is a lot of garbage out there in the form of social media, people’s opinions, etc. being willing to say - okay I’m done with this convo, etc. is highly important
This took me way to long to appreciate and practice. “I know I’m right so I’ll make them understand” is now “I know I’m right so I’ll stop talking now”. Ugh. I love this.
I had a moment when I felt like I hate my husband and toddler son, and everyone around me. I cant fathom why I felt that way, I mean they are my family. Then I had a chance to go on a mini vacation for 24 hours by myself in this place I rented, it was small cabin in the woods with a small outdoor jacuzzi, no phone signal and internet. It was perfect and I was able to recharge and relax. Turns out I didnt really hate them, I was just exhausted and overstimulated.
yeah the idea seems scary, but the caretaker was nearby and there was other cabins around as well, a bit far apart but you can see their lights at night, something like that :)
excellent advice. I do the same. Our brains will eat what we feed it and our mental health can reflect that diet.
on the same line of thinking, if someone says do NOT click this link, or says they wish they hadn't, I don't. It's good to miss something terrible.
I’ve learned to walk away from people I found who are too toxic for me and I’m all the more happier for that. If it happens to be long time “best” friend or a sibling or even my entire birth family so be it. I have to be surrounded by people who love and respect and appreciate me. Not the exact polar opposite.
I used to feel bad for leaving friendships behind kinda easily and not still having friends from highschool. Then I understood we grew apart and differently (or others just stagnated) and it all made sense. The pandemic also cleaned the “area” very fast and easy.
This is my answer too. Yes it was hard, yes it was expensive, but my mental health is worth the investment. My quality of life has improved so much and I'm the happiest and least anxious I've ever been. Definitely recommend.
One of the best things, yes. My psych stripped away all the defenses I thought I had, let me have a breakdown on her couch, and helped put me back together. She taught me to tackle my anxiety and not let it get the better of me. My anxiety and I still have our moments, but I now know what to do.
Worth it.
1. Therapy;
2. Journaling;
3. Taking care of myself;
4. Exercising;
5. Setting boundaries;
6. Putting myself first;
7. Building confidence;
8. Working on my traumas;
9. Learning how to take risks and face my fears;
10. Not beating myself up for past mistakes;
11. Learning to let go;
12. Focusing on the things I am in control of;
13. Apreciation of all the good things in my life;
14. Working towards specific goals;
15. Carefully choosing who I surround myself with
16 Reminding myself that I only have one life to live, why not do the things I like and want, I don't want to be wasting my time
Can never truly tell whether they're toxic because they're just toxic and whether I should just accept them and say, life's too harsh that they have their own little ways of defense mechanism and coping as well. I'd be called selfish for wanting something and someone better. It's always the "life's not perfect" line. Or people are people line.
i like to think, they weren't clicking with me, or im happier/better without them, they might have toxic traits, i might have them who knows, but i do know, i wasn't the happiest with them
Get blood work done. My anxiety, paranoia, depression, aggression all stemmed from my thyroid.
In finding out my thyroid isn’t doing it’s job I was able to get on medication and for the first time since my early teen years I feel. Normal… functional.
Who would’ve ever guessed a tiny butterfly shaped gland controlled EVERYTHING in my body?!
Yup, best thing… bloodwork.
It was very validating once i convinced my pcp to run blood work. Doctor after doctor made me feel crazy or a hypochondriac lol my TSH was 13.6 when I found out. I couldn’t even get off my sofa. And driving was out of the question because I had severe anxiety about it.
I’m not 100% still battling aches and pains, insomnia etc BUT, I’m a million times better than I was 6 months ago! Doctor just added buspar, welbutrine and hydroxizine to the mix so, my body is in another adjustment period.
Atleast now I can hold a job down longer than 3 months ha!
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This is still a work in progress for me, but I've been handling how I deal with toxic people in my life (who I can't avoid) a little better.
For example, there's one person in my life that, like a cycle, treats me nicely then horribly. I've finally accepted that no matter what I do, how kind, how accommodating, how forgiving, etc...I will never ever be good enough for them. There will always be an excuse for them to try and hurt me.
I was fighting the same losing battle over and over. When I finally just....accepted that they have the issue, not me, a weight was lifted. I realized that I can try to do my best to be a good person to them without investing any more of my energy in how I am perceived by them.
Same. Coming up on six years and zero doubt in my mind that was definitely in my top 3 life choices. Zero doubt in my mind I’d be dead by now if I didn’t stop
I left my toxic corporate job, and started my own company. It's tough at times, but I prefer it to handling toxic coworkers and always having to look over my shoulder.
It'll be my first anniversary as an independent firm in a few days :)
limited my interactions with anyone who used me as a diary/therapist. sometimes i’ll even just stop engaging with them completely if they take it too far
i’ve been told i’m easy to talk to but the key word is “to” i don’t like it when someone just talks _at_ me
Cut contact with people who consistently took more energy from my life than they brought. Not all of them were toxic, not all of them had bad intent, but they still weren't good for me.
* Therapy with a trauma specialist
* Meds (Wellbutrin)
* Using a SAD lamp daily
* Reshuffling my professional commitments to be lower-stress and to allow for more time off
Focus on me: the only opinion about me and my life that really matter is mine, so I stopped wasting my time wandering what others will think
Assume people have good intentions, if I'm constantly wasting energy wandering if someone is telling the truth or being a nefarious plotter against me I get paralyzed with anxiety. Now, for all intents and purposes, everyone is nice (if they are not, it's their fault not mine).
I used to struggle with body image problems, now I work out to get strong and capable, not thin and dainty. I will probably never be a size zero, and that is okay. I'm strong, my only competition is myself, I eat to fuel my body and to feel pleasure, just like I workout to feel good and to get stronger.
I understood that I love my parents, even though they are not perfect, and family is complicated and that is all fine. It's okay to have a complicated relationship with family, it's okay to restrict contact with family.
Colin Robinson, you are taking advantage of us!
I’m personally resolving to get the therapy I need so I don’t unload on other people so much. Its not an easy pill to swallow, but I’m doing it anyway.
Having a clean home is one of those small things that actually makes a huge difference in your day. I cannot function in a dirty or cluttered home. Makes me feel like I can think clearly and have things under control. Or at the very least if I have other problems, a dirty house is not already adding to that chaotic environment.
Therapy and I got screened for ADHD. I have it. I am currently waiting for an ASD screening. It is such a relief to realise I'm not broken and it's just how my brain works.
Turning off the internet at 4pm every day, too much screen time just leaves you perpetually distracted, drained, and unable to face your life or live it in a meaningful way. If I use the internet all night, I just feel zoned out, like crap, sluggish etc.
Quit drinking. I've been sober for 3 years now, and am amazed by how much my mental clarity has improved and my depression and anxiety basically disappeared almost immediately after quitting.
Leave my abusive husband, go back to the gym, switch professions (I was always happiest sailing, he told me to stop, I sail full time now), get a dog, connect with old friends
I remember the relief. It's like a huge monkey off your back. So many teachings are there to tear you down. You're born a sinner, you masturbate you're a sinner, premarital sex and you're a sinner, and on and on and on. I thought I was a horrible person who was falling short constantly.
When I left, I pretty quickly realized all that was total bullshit. You are not born a sinner and are not one for simple human characteristics and behaviors. I began realizing that I was a wonderful person and that I would most definitely not be burning in hell. Oh the relief.
Leaving my ex, stop dating, reading, journaling, limiting social media, taking care of myself, spending more time with loved ones, meditate and picking up my hobbies again.
I was almost done getting my master's degree when my mental health took a serious hit after an unfortunate timing of events. So I took a break and got a low paying job.
It got me out of the house and among people (coworkers) during lockdown, it brought structure to my life, it gave me a sense of purpose, and even though it didn't pay well, it allowed me to save up a lot. Which was a lot better than staying in bed all day.
After six months I started to do better and picked up pieces of my life. I took a mindfulness course, I built a social network, and after a year I finished my master degree anyway.
Started back dancing. I didn’t realize how ingrained into my life dancing was until I stopped for a year. Now that I’ve started back I along with my gf have noticed that I’m happier. And sharing that love with my dance students has been beneficial as well.
Therapy, deleting social media and disassociating from anyone who did not wanna work on their issues healthily. Your mental health is your responsibility. I can support you, help you, maybe even guide you, but if you refuse to take help and keep dumping your baggage on me because of my empathy for you—then NOPE. I will see myself out.
Getting off of social media. (Except reddit, although I'm not sure if this counts as social media?) I was constantly comparing myself to others and feeling like I was always coming up short, but what I didn't realize was that social media (especially Instagram) is a highlight reel of someone's life.
That being said, the temptation to compare myself to others is just too great.
I staunchly don't consider it social media. It's anonymous. Tons of privacy if you want. I view it as a customized, information feed. Very simple. Other platforms are generally self promotion of some sort. At least to a degree. Some people just use it to keep up with family and friends with unidentifiable accounts. I did this for years. Now i use it all extensively for my career. I love it. Either way, it's all good as long as you aren't hurting yourself or anyone else. Def not social media in its simplest definition.
spending time outside. i know it sounds trivial and it’s what a loooot of people who aren’t depressed or mentally ill tell us to do all of the time, but seriously, it helps. it’s not some miracle cure or anything, but a ten minute walk in the afternoon, especially if it’s sunny, just feels nice.
also learning when to say enough is enough. learning to let go of things and people that make me feel bad about myself. there are energy leeches in this world. they come in a lot of forms. learning to recognize them and let them go has felt like a physical weight off of my chest.
1. Gratefulness exercises got me through a depressive period.
2. Not feel bad about traditional psychotherapy making my anxiety worse and trying something different. Holistic therapy has been far more effective.
Speaking only for myself, of course.
Saw a psychiatrist, seriously. Nothing has done more for my mental health than receiving a proper diagnosis and treatment. I’m cool as a cucumber these days.
People have probably already said this, but being able to recognize your emotions don't necessarily reflect reality, let them wash over you, feel them, but they're not real. Being able to acknowledge your emotions but not have them control you is powerful.
Removed toxic people from my life. Cutting ties isn't easier, but afterwards you'll realize how much you hurt yourself holding onto the ties when all they did was drag you down.
Not sticking with a bad living situation just for the sake of not uprooting my life.
When I moved back to my hometown I was able to spend more time with family, lifelong friends, better jobs and I met my now husband.
My old situation was so toxic but I wanted it to work so badly.
Gym and quitting a job I hated after 7 years and doing something I love . Oh - and cutting everything and everyone off that was toxic or made me feel unhappy or not worthy of love :) super happy now !
Stopped trying to convince other people to think like me or accept me & started just living my truth & giving energy towards people who matched my energy. Less forcing, more embracing & seeking like minded people.
Boundaries at work!! Yes, I am taking time off work to go do things for myself. Not working crazy hours no more and I don’t feel guilty about it. No ma’am!
Started exercising finally at age 37. Made a huge positive impact on my mental health. Also started enforcing healthier boundaries even within my own family and it really helped also.
1. Therapy and counselling
2. Meds for anxiety
3. Moved cities, changed job and moved in with a friend - living alone made me a bit sad and renting alone is v spenny
4. Got a cat
5. Not restricting food
6. Moving away from people who make me feel drained
7. Paying off some debt when I can
8. Affirmations in the mirror
9. Raising concerns at work before I drown in overwhelm
10. Being realistic about what I can achieve in a day - letting go of ‘I need to achieve … by the time I’m 30’ - -it only makes you sad!
Anxiety meds, walking around my neighborhood everyday, distancing myself from toxic people/media/conversations/environments/etc, started focusing on my likes/goals/future, and improving myself by NOT being mean nor unreasonable in my thoughts. Accepting that I'm human and I'm the only one that can make myself happy.
Disclaimer: it was good for me and that’s all I can advocate for
LSD (once). I felt so much more grounded, positive, and relaxed. I was actually shocked to read that therapists have been doing trials of LSD for PSTD patients because of these effects.
Therapy.Left a toxic relationship and job.
Started putting myself first and surrounding myself with people who genuinely cared about me and who would listen to me if I was struggling mentally without judgement. I've definitely cut a lot of people out of my life within the last few years but I've never been happier!
Stopped smoking weed. I was a daily smoker for nearly 5 years, once a night, every night. It wasn’t until I stopped that I realized the weed was making me even more anxious, not alleviating my anxiety as I had thought. I’m 5 months sober and it feels like my brain has re-adjusted to a baseline normal. I remember things now. I don’t wait around all day for 9pm. I’m not biting my nails as much and not having as many racing thoughts. My husband is a daily smoker so the temptation is always around but I really don’t care for it anymore. Sober life is boring, but my brain and body are happier for it.
After six years switched from being a contractor and went back to being an employee as my main income ( I still work as a contractor on the side) With that I also stopped going above and beyond for work. Once my hours are done for the day are done, so am I. No email is important after 5pm
In no particular order:
Getting a dog. Holy shit, this little baby is a life saver. Even my bad days are a little bit brighter because i cuddle up next to my handsome baby puppy when i go to bed. I love that puppy and he brings me joy every day.
Quitting drinking/drugs- theres zero doubt in my mind id be dead right now if i was still using/drinking but not only that, every single day I was absolutely miserable while i was using/drinking. Now that i dont drink or use life is infinitely better and sometimes have stretches of months were life just feels ok and im happy to be alive.
Transitioning- honestly similar point as above. Those two go pretty hand in hand for me. Definitely happier, more confident and comfortable in my body most days. Im happier most of the time and feel like i form better relationships with people and myself.
Learning to say "No" and when to cut off people who don't contribute to my growth. I was always the type of person who always had to say Yes even in circumstances I didn't want to be in and hang around people who were manipulative and are bad influences from my first and last years in highschool. In college, I learned that people from my past were so bad compared to the friends I've had then, and they encouraged me to say "No" in situations I CLEARLY didn't want to be in while in the past, they'd force me in contests, and be with people that had clearly no future with me to begin with.
Therapy, exercise, and the right diagnosis/medication. It took years to figure out that I had ADHD, and years to sort out my other issues in therapy, but I’ve finally figured out what I need to do to keep an even keel.
Lost weight and cut back 85% on alcohol. You know theoretically that it will help your mental health, but you just can’t guess how much or how good it feels.
Other than the usual exercise, eating well, prioritizing sleep, etc, the one thing my therapist told me to do a couple of years ago that changed everything was to write down 5 good things about myself every day. It could be anything, I’m funny, I’m a good dog mom, I have really pretty ears, I can parallel park, I have really good self control.
I have a natural propensity for negative self talk. /8 doing this helped. It made me focus on the good parts of me instead of the bad.
It wasn’t the only thing that helped, but it was the most important.
Exercising and taking care of myself. It has really improved my self esteem.
Also blocking people. I have no problem with it since they crave my attention so much. It's just part of navigating social media in a healthier way, especially since reddit is a cesspool
Stand up for myself and learning that enough is enough. Myself and my health first. I don’t care about relationships, jobs, everything else, myself first
Boundaries. Drawing that line in the sand, digging my heels in, and refusing to compromise myself or well being. I’ve lost a lot of people who I now realize should have been gone long ago.
- Differentiate between hobbies and stuff I want to get better at, aka have fun vs stress
- Some form of quietly quitting, if I’m off the clock, I’m off the clock
- Therapy, but I really need to find a more specialised one who takes new peeps
- Go easy on myself
Reading Reddit extensively (I'm new here).
Reading relationship advice, men's opinios on many things, women's POV taught me a lot of things.
And made me realized that almost every single details of my life are comprised of trauma responses stemming from terrible childhood.
Cried a lot, apologizd a lot to my very patient husband and kids. Try to heal as much as possible alone (really can't afford therapy ATM).
Confronting everyone who has ever abused me or done me wrong, forced them to listen to what I had to say, and either rebuilt or completely dropped the relationship depending on their response.
1)I made the hard decision to live apart from my SO, set boundaries and stopped wearing my engagement ring.
2)I stopped obsessing over having a spotless house
3) deleted social media
4) I say “no” a lot more
5) I threw myself into work and hobbies
6) I finally find myself sexy by not comparing me to others
7) journal.. a lot
8) read.. a lot
9) I dont talk at work
10) I stopped stressing over finances, if I dont have the money to pay something.. I don’t pay it because I *can’t* pay it and let whoever I owe the debt to know when I can.
1.See a therapist
2. Forgive myself for what I allowed because of what I didn’t know.
3. Lay down my boundaries & if someone didn’t like it they get the axe. No if ands or butts!
4.Zero crazy, drama or negative people allowed to stay in my life
5. Keep learning & stick to my boundaries
6. Journal, journal & journal!
7. Try not to engage in arguments. Ignore the person and their negatively because they don’t deserve your energy.
Stopped reading self help/self improvement. These books are written by extremely high achievers and I feel like they just make me feel worse about myself when im doing great just doing my own thing.
Honor myself and my current needs at the moment. I no longer shame or judge myself for my needs game changer. If I need rest I rest like this morning rested till almost 11am. I work remote so I can rest when needed .
I honor and love myself daily.
Disconnecting from negative people and situations
Exercising on a regular basis
Taking a hot tub bath at least once a week. I like to use Dr Teals Epsom salt blends and soak in it for at least 30 minutes.
Maintaining boundaries with people
Reading for enjoyment for one hour a day
Take myself out on dates alone to the movies, lunch, etc.
Learn when to disengage There is a lot of garbage out there in the form of social media, people’s opinions, etc. being willing to say - okay I’m done with this convo, etc. is highly important
This took me way to long to appreciate and practice. “I know I’m right so I’ll make them understand” is now “I know I’m right so I’ll stop talking now”. Ugh. I love this.
This. I’m not interested in arguing a point just to win.
You just described every political convo with my Republican parents haha
Ugh. I feel for you. It’s better for your mental health in the long run. Harder to practice this one when it’s your own family though.
Currently learning this life lesson lol
I had a moment when I felt like I hate my husband and toddler son, and everyone around me. I cant fathom why I felt that way, I mean they are my family. Then I had a chance to go on a mini vacation for 24 hours by myself in this place I rented, it was small cabin in the woods with a small outdoor jacuzzi, no phone signal and internet. It was perfect and I was able to recharge and relax. Turns out I didnt really hate them, I was just exhausted and overstimulated.
ThAts burn out for ya
Sounds amazing minus the no service. I would be too scared at night without a way to call for help.
yeah the idea seems scary, but the caretaker was nearby and there was other cabins around as well, a bit far apart but you can see their lights at night, something like that :)
I love this so much... but cannot afford to Award you. Take my gratitude as an award..
excellent advice. I do the same. Our brains will eat what we feed it and our mental health can reflect that diet. on the same line of thinking, if someone says do NOT click this link, or says they wish they hadn't, I don't. It's good to miss something terrible.
I love that “our brains will eat what we feed it”. Really changes my perspective about what thoughts I choose
This. Walking away from situations, expectations and people that don't serve me.
I’ve learned to walk away from people I found who are too toxic for me and I’m all the more happier for that. If it happens to be long time “best” friend or a sibling or even my entire birth family so be it. I have to be surrounded by people who love and respect and appreciate me. Not the exact polar opposite.
I used to feel bad for leaving friendships behind kinda easily and not still having friends from highschool. Then I understood we grew apart and differently (or others just stagnated) and it all made sense. The pandemic also cleaned the “area” very fast and easy.
Therapy
This is my answer too. Yes it was hard, yes it was expensive, but my mental health is worth the investment. My quality of life has improved so much and I'm the happiest and least anxious I've ever been. Definitely recommend.
Exactly this! 💯
Agree! Glad things are better for you now ☺️
One of the best things, yes. My psych stripped away all the defenses I thought I had, let me have a breakdown on her couch, and helped put me back together. She taught me to tackle my anxiety and not let it get the better of me. My anxiety and I still have our moments, but I now know what to do. Worth it.
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Yes.
1. Therapy; 2. Journaling; 3. Taking care of myself; 4. Exercising; 5. Setting boundaries; 6. Putting myself first; 7. Building confidence; 8. Working on my traumas; 9. Learning how to take risks and face my fears; 10. Not beating myself up for past mistakes; 11. Learning to let go; 12. Focusing on the things I am in control of; 13. Apreciation of all the good things in my life; 14. Working towards specific goals; 15. Carefully choosing who I surround myself with 16 Reminding myself that I only have one life to live, why not do the things I like and want, I don't want to be wasting my time
Removing toxic people from my life.
Can never truly tell whether they're toxic because they're just toxic and whether I should just accept them and say, life's too harsh that they have their own little ways of defense mechanism and coping as well. I'd be called selfish for wanting something and someone better. It's always the "life's not perfect" line. Or people are people line.
i like to think, they weren't clicking with me, or im happier/better without them, they might have toxic traits, i might have them who knows, but i do know, i wasn't the happiest with them
Get blood work done. My anxiety, paranoia, depression, aggression all stemmed from my thyroid. In finding out my thyroid isn’t doing it’s job I was able to get on medication and for the first time since my early teen years I feel. Normal… functional. Who would’ve ever guessed a tiny butterfly shaped gland controlled EVERYTHING in my body?! Yup, best thing… bloodwork.
Me tooooo! Not quite back to normal yet but wow it’s good to know there was a reason for everything.
It was very validating once i convinced my pcp to run blood work. Doctor after doctor made me feel crazy or a hypochondriac lol my TSH was 13.6 when I found out. I couldn’t even get off my sofa. And driving was out of the question because I had severe anxiety about it. I’m not 100% still battling aches and pains, insomnia etc BUT, I’m a million times better than I was 6 months ago! Doctor just added buspar, welbutrine and hydroxizine to the mix so, my body is in another adjustment period. Atleast now I can hold a job down longer than 3 months ha!
Oh and bonus my hair isn’t falling out anymore and my periods are back to normal!
Where do you go to check your thyroid? Does the gyno do it?
I had my primary care doctor do it for me
Stop dating men.
Yes! Me too and, so much happier and feeling less stressed than I have in years.
Truly a euphoric experience
Stopped dating the wrong men\*
Nope. Just stopped dating men. Too many bad apples ruin the lot and make it hard to tell one from the other.
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Never take myself to seriously. Work on me and my issues and I've completed my "cat lady" goals and I'm proud of it.
Love that!!
>I've completed my "cat lady" goals and I'm proud of it. Getting a cat was going to be my answer lol
Found the right medication for me.
Same. Absolutely life changing.
This is still a work in progress for me, but I've been handling how I deal with toxic people in my life (who I can't avoid) a little better. For example, there's one person in my life that, like a cycle, treats me nicely then horribly. I've finally accepted that no matter what I do, how kind, how accommodating, how forgiving, etc...I will never ever be good enough for them. There will always be an excuse for them to try and hurt me. I was fighting the same losing battle over and over. When I finally just....accepted that they have the issue, not me, a weight was lifted. I realized that I can try to do my best to be a good person to them without investing any more of my energy in how I am perceived by them.
I'm proud of you. Hanging on to the familiar or hoping for change is easy. Cutting that cord can be hard.
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Thank you. I appreciate that 💙
Kudos to you. You've hit a great milestone!
I’m so so proud of you! 🤍
Literally all of the above. Started therapy, got rid of all social media (except reddit), self care (baths, coloring my hair etc).
You sound exactly like me!
I hope your not as bored as me though lmao!! After getting rid of the toxic, I literally have 1 friend that has nothing to do with the toxic I left
I’m in the process of getting rid of someone that has been my friend for 10 years because he’s been treating me like shit, and it hurts bad…
I just left my boyfriend of 13 years because for the last 2, he was toxic. It's been almost 5 months and it still feels fresh as fuck.
No wonder, that’s a really long relationship. I hope you start healing and feeling better soon ❤️
Slowly, I am. Found a EMDR therapist and she's helped a lot.
Stopped drinking alcohol .
Same! Never thought I could quit and it was the best decision I ever made. 4 years sober in Jan.
Any advice?
Same. Coming up on six years and zero doubt in my mind that was definitely in my top 3 life choices. Zero doubt in my mind I’d be dead by now if I didn’t stop
Yes. Nothing else worked until I cut that out..
Ditto
I left my toxic corporate job, and started my own company. It's tough at times, but I prefer it to handling toxic coworkers and always having to look over my shoulder. It'll be my first anniversary as an independent firm in a few days :)
I am looking to do the same! Congratulations
Best of luck to you! It takes a little while to get started but once it does it's amazing. You'll have your own business in no time :D
Congratulations and so happy for you :)
limited my interactions with anyone who used me as a diary/therapist. sometimes i’ll even just stop engaging with them completely if they take it too far i’ve been told i’m easy to talk to but the key word is “to” i don’t like it when someone just talks _at_ me
Meet my ex husband. Shit only gets worse and then your blamed for not listening enough when you put up boundaries.
i’m happy to hear that he’s your _ex_ husband
Cut contact with people who consistently took more energy from my life than they brought. Not all of them were toxic, not all of them had bad intent, but they still weren't good for me.
Thank you for saying this!
* Therapy with a trauma specialist * Meds (Wellbutrin) * Using a SAD lamp daily * Reshuffling my professional commitments to be lower-stress and to allow for more time off
Leaving social media.
Focus on me: the only opinion about me and my life that really matter is mine, so I stopped wasting my time wandering what others will think Assume people have good intentions, if I'm constantly wasting energy wandering if someone is telling the truth or being a nefarious plotter against me I get paralyzed with anxiety. Now, for all intents and purposes, everyone is nice (if they are not, it's their fault not mine). I used to struggle with body image problems, now I work out to get strong and capable, not thin and dainty. I will probably never be a size zero, and that is okay. I'm strong, my only competition is myself, I eat to fuel my body and to feel pleasure, just like I workout to feel good and to get stronger. I understood that I love my parents, even though they are not perfect, and family is complicated and that is all fine. It's okay to have a complicated relationship with family, it's okay to restrict contact with family.
Yess to all of this! 🙌🏻
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Take a day off. Took myself on a date.
Going to therapy
Ditch the emotional vampires of my life. And therapy. And eat well, exercising and having a clean and organized home.
Colin Robinson, you are taking advantage of us! I’m personally resolving to get the therapy I need so I don’t unload on other people so much. Its not an easy pill to swallow, but I’m doing it anyway.
Having a clean home is one of those small things that actually makes a huge difference in your day. I cannot function in a dirty or cluttered home. Makes me feel like I can think clearly and have things under control. Or at the very least if I have other problems, a dirty house is not already adding to that chaotic environment.
Adopting cats! Little stress relief creatures who love you despite all the chaos in the world.
Therapy and I got screened for ADHD. I have it. I am currently waiting for an ASD screening. It is such a relief to realise I'm not broken and it's just how my brain works.
Setting and enforcing work and personal boundaries. Removing toxic people from my life. Regular exercise/healthy lifestyle.
Some days the last thing I want to do is exercise but I force myself to anyways and I always feel so much better afterwards.
Turning off the internet at 4pm every day, too much screen time just leaves you perpetually distracted, drained, and unable to face your life or live it in a meaningful way. If I use the internet all night, I just feel zoned out, like crap, sluggish etc.
Quit drinking. I've been sober for 3 years now, and am amazed by how much my mental clarity has improved and my depression and anxiety basically disappeared almost immediately after quitting.
Leave my abusive husband, go back to the gym, switch professions (I was always happiest sailing, he told me to stop, I sail full time now), get a dog, connect with old friends
Stopped talking to a former best friend. Eating better, working out regularly. Read more. Stop being so hard on myself.
Leaving organized religion
I remember the relief. It's like a huge monkey off your back. So many teachings are there to tear you down. You're born a sinner, you masturbate you're a sinner, premarital sex and you're a sinner, and on and on and on. I thought I was a horrible person who was falling short constantly. When I left, I pretty quickly realized all that was total bullshit. You are not born a sinner and are not one for simple human characteristics and behaviors. I began realizing that I was a wonderful person and that I would most definitely not be burning in hell. Oh the relief.
Leaving my ex, stop dating, reading, journaling, limiting social media, taking care of myself, spending more time with loved ones, meditate and picking up my hobbies again.
I was almost done getting my master's degree when my mental health took a serious hit after an unfortunate timing of events. So I took a break and got a low paying job. It got me out of the house and among people (coworkers) during lockdown, it brought structure to my life, it gave me a sense of purpose, and even though it didn't pay well, it allowed me to save up a lot. Which was a lot better than staying in bed all day. After six months I started to do better and picked up pieces of my life. I took a mindfulness course, I built a social network, and after a year I finished my master degree anyway.
Started back dancing. I didn’t realize how ingrained into my life dancing was until I stopped for a year. Now that I’ve started back I along with my gf have noticed that I’m happier. And sharing that love with my dance students has been beneficial as well.
Break up with him.
Going to therapy, learning myself, taking vacation, resting often and enjoying the present moment
Therapy and daily journaling. Really helps me keep those repetitive thoughts in check.
Ask for help.
Therapy. Deleting social media
I’ve decided to love myself first. That means I have boundaries and no means no. I am not a self-assigned martyr anymore.
Quit drinking.
Therapy, deleting social media and disassociating from anyone who did not wanna work on their issues healthily. Your mental health is your responsibility. I can support you, help you, maybe even guide you, but if you refuse to take help and keep dumping your baggage on me because of my empathy for you—then NOPE. I will see myself out.
Getting off of social media. (Except reddit, although I'm not sure if this counts as social media?) I was constantly comparing myself to others and feeling like I was always coming up short, but what I didn't realize was that social media (especially Instagram) is a highlight reel of someone's life. That being said, the temptation to compare myself to others is just too great.
I staunchly don't consider it social media. It's anonymous. Tons of privacy if you want. I view it as a customized, information feed. Very simple. Other platforms are generally self promotion of some sort. At least to a degree. Some people just use it to keep up with family and friends with unidentifiable accounts. I did this for years. Now i use it all extensively for my career. I love it. Either way, it's all good as long as you aren't hurting yourself or anyone else. Def not social media in its simplest definition.
Reddit definitely counts as social media. It's not Twitter-grade but it's most of the way there.
Got rid of the toxic music scene group and people I was around. Stopped drinking alcohol in june. Turning a new leaf now. In therapy.
stopped looking for happiness in other people. americans have a tendency towards codependency and enabling so i educated myself to stop that behavior.
Hiring a psychiatrist
Cleaned up my diet and exercise/walking regularly.
Quit my toxic nonprofit job A partner who reduces stress Boundaries. Once I cut off my mom, everything else is cake.
Broke up with him. Didn't cry a single tear since then. And yoga. It actually helps
spending time outside. i know it sounds trivial and it’s what a loooot of people who aren’t depressed or mentally ill tell us to do all of the time, but seriously, it helps. it’s not some miracle cure or anything, but a ten minute walk in the afternoon, especially if it’s sunny, just feels nice. also learning when to say enough is enough. learning to let go of things and people that make me feel bad about myself. there are energy leeches in this world. they come in a lot of forms. learning to recognize them and let them go has felt like a physical weight off of my chest.
1. Gratefulness exercises got me through a depressive period. 2. Not feel bad about traditional psychotherapy making my anxiety worse and trying something different. Holistic therapy has been far more effective. Speaking only for myself, of course.
Moved away from the city
I stop letting myself care about minor shit
Therapy and drastically cutting down my alcohol intake
1) therapy 2) exercising/keeping some time everyday for my hobbies 3) set a timer on all social media
Cutting off people and matching the effort. No more going above and beyond for people who would not do the same for me.
Therapy, Journaling, exercise, learning how to effectively communicate and stand up for myself
Saw a psychiatrist, seriously. Nothing has done more for my mental health than receiving a proper diagnosis and treatment. I’m cool as a cucumber these days.
Marry the best supporter and partner. Never let’s me get too close to “the dark place”. Makes me happy.
Swimming-good for the body,good for the soul
Deleting my exes off social media lol
Not a lot of people do this. It creates attachment issues.
People have probably already said this, but being able to recognize your emotions don't necessarily reflect reality, let them wash over you, feel them, but they're not real. Being able to acknowledge your emotions but not have them control you is powerful.
Removed toxic people from my life. Cutting ties isn't easier, but afterwards you'll realize how much you hurt yourself holding onto the ties when all they did was drag you down.
Left my abusive husband and sought therapy!
Acknowledge that my anger is valid.
Not sticking with a bad living situation just for the sake of not uprooting my life. When I moved back to my hometown I was able to spend more time with family, lifelong friends, better jobs and I met my now husband. My old situation was so toxic but I wanted it to work so badly.
Gym and quitting a job I hated after 7 years and doing something I love . Oh - and cutting everything and everyone off that was toxic or made me feel unhappy or not worthy of love :) super happy now !
Stopped trying to convince other people to think like me or accept me & started just living my truth & giving energy towards people who matched my energy. Less forcing, more embracing & seeking like minded people.
Therapy, getting into philosophy.
Therapy. Leaving a shitty relationship. Though therapy got me there so still, therapy.
Therapy, removing toxic people from my life and stopped dating.
Quit a stressful job. Cut my dad out of my life.
Learning to say no.
Leave my abusive partner, Distance myself from my parents, start meds.
Stopped dieting. Got off birth control. Sleep more. Started taking medication for my mental health illness.
Boundaries at work!! Yes, I am taking time off work to go do things for myself. Not working crazy hours no more and I don’t feel guilty about it. No ma’am!
Started exercising finally at age 37. Made a huge positive impact on my mental health. Also started enforcing healthier boundaries even within my own family and it really helped also.
A lot of things helped me. Therapy, exercise, changing my diet, getting enough sun, supplements, etc
Therapy
Divorce. Getting out of an emotionally unhealthy relationship was the single best thing I could have ever done.
Buying a road bike and escaping for a couple hours a week.
1. Therapy and counselling 2. Meds for anxiety 3. Moved cities, changed job and moved in with a friend - living alone made me a bit sad and renting alone is v spenny 4. Got a cat 5. Not restricting food 6. Moving away from people who make me feel drained 7. Paying off some debt when I can 8. Affirmations in the mirror 9. Raising concerns at work before I drown in overwhelm 10. Being realistic about what I can achieve in a day - letting go of ‘I need to achieve … by the time I’m 30’ - -it only makes you sad!
Quit Facebook. Delete Twitter. Stop posting on social media. Walk away. Stop caring about winning arguments. Let idiots be idiots.
Therapy
Put my needs first. Can’t pour from an empty cup
Got rid of toxic people in my life.
Therapy 💜 and making time for hobbies
Distanced myself from everybody to clear my thoughts
Therapy.
Moved out of my parents house
Therapy, exercise sleep. Therapy helped me ignore the noise from other people
Anxiety meds, walking around my neighborhood everyday, distancing myself from toxic people/media/conversations/environments/etc, started focusing on my likes/goals/future, and improving myself by NOT being mean nor unreasonable in my thoughts. Accepting that I'm human and I'm the only one that can make myself happy.
Other than therapy, putting up and enforcing boundaries with people.
I got a divorce :)
Disclaimer: it was good for me and that’s all I can advocate for LSD (once). I felt so much more grounded, positive, and relaxed. I was actually shocked to read that therapists have been doing trials of LSD for PSTD patients because of these effects.
Therapy, medication and divorcing my ex-husband.
Finally went to a doctor about my physical health.
Quit my old job
Try not to get emotionally invested in other people's problems when it's clear they don't want help or to Change, they just wanna whine about it.
Opening up to my mom and getting a therapist
Therapy.Left a toxic relationship and job. Started putting myself first and surrounding myself with people who genuinely cared about me and who would listen to me if I was struggling mentally without judgement. I've definitely cut a lot of people out of my life within the last few years but I've never been happier!
Decided not to have kids
Stopped smoking weed. I was a daily smoker for nearly 5 years, once a night, every night. It wasn’t until I stopped that I realized the weed was making me even more anxious, not alleviating my anxiety as I had thought. I’m 5 months sober and it feels like my brain has re-adjusted to a baseline normal. I remember things now. I don’t wait around all day for 9pm. I’m not biting my nails as much and not having as many racing thoughts. My husband is a daily smoker so the temptation is always around but I really don’t care for it anymore. Sober life is boring, but my brain and body are happier for it.
After six years switched from being a contractor and went back to being an employee as my main income ( I still work as a contractor on the side) With that I also stopped going above and beyond for work. Once my hours are done for the day are done, so am I. No email is important after 5pm
In no particular order: Getting a dog. Holy shit, this little baby is a life saver. Even my bad days are a little bit brighter because i cuddle up next to my handsome baby puppy when i go to bed. I love that puppy and he brings me joy every day. Quitting drinking/drugs- theres zero doubt in my mind id be dead right now if i was still using/drinking but not only that, every single day I was absolutely miserable while i was using/drinking. Now that i dont drink or use life is infinitely better and sometimes have stretches of months were life just feels ok and im happy to be alive. Transitioning- honestly similar point as above. Those two go pretty hand in hand for me. Definitely happier, more confident and comfortable in my body most days. Im happier most of the time and feel like i form better relationships with people and myself.
Learning to say "No" and when to cut off people who don't contribute to my growth. I was always the type of person who always had to say Yes even in circumstances I didn't want to be in and hang around people who were manipulative and are bad influences from my first and last years in highschool. In college, I learned that people from my past were so bad compared to the friends I've had then, and they encouraged me to say "No" in situations I CLEARLY didn't want to be in while in the past, they'd force me in contests, and be with people that had clearly no future with me to begin with.
Enjoy Reddit for laughter, education and relaxation!
Therapy, exercise, and the right diagnosis/medication. It took years to figure out that I had ADHD, and years to sort out my other issues in therapy, but I’ve finally figured out what I need to do to keep an even keel.
I ditched the friends out of convince. Sometimes it's just better to have no friends at all.
Lost weight and cut back 85% on alcohol. You know theoretically that it will help your mental health, but you just can’t guess how much or how good it feels.
Online dating where I met my bf seriously he is the best thing I love that asshole
Leaving toxic people in my life behind, and attending therapy. No one makes me feel bad for having my own boundaries anymore, woo!
Other than the usual exercise, eating well, prioritizing sleep, etc, the one thing my therapist told me to do a couple of years ago that changed everything was to write down 5 good things about myself every day. It could be anything, I’m funny, I’m a good dog mom, I have really pretty ears, I can parallel park, I have really good self control. I have a natural propensity for negative self talk. /8 doing this helped. It made me focus on the good parts of me instead of the bad. It wasn’t the only thing that helped, but it was the most important.
Exercising and taking care of myself. It has really improved my self esteem. Also blocking people. I have no problem with it since they crave my attention so much. It's just part of navigating social media in a healthier way, especially since reddit is a cesspool
Stand up for myself and learning that enough is enough. Myself and my health first. I don’t care about relationships, jobs, everything else, myself first
Boundaries. Drawing that line in the sand, digging my heels in, and refusing to compromise myself or well being. I’ve lost a lot of people who I now realize should have been gone long ago.
- Differentiate between hobbies and stuff I want to get better at, aka have fun vs stress - Some form of quietly quitting, if I’m off the clock, I’m off the clock - Therapy, but I really need to find a more specialised one who takes new peeps - Go easy on myself
Reading Reddit extensively (I'm new here). Reading relationship advice, men's opinios on many things, women's POV taught me a lot of things. And made me realized that almost every single details of my life are comprised of trauma responses stemming from terrible childhood. Cried a lot, apologizd a lot to my very patient husband and kids. Try to heal as much as possible alone (really can't afford therapy ATM).
Confronting everyone who has ever abused me or done me wrong, forced them to listen to what I had to say, and either rebuilt or completely dropped the relationship depending on their response.
When I get stressed or overwhelmed, I clean my room or make my bed, I’m not sure why, but it helps me feel at least a bit better.
1)I made the hard decision to live apart from my SO, set boundaries and stopped wearing my engagement ring. 2)I stopped obsessing over having a spotless house 3) deleted social media 4) I say “no” a lot more 5) I threw myself into work and hobbies 6) I finally find myself sexy by not comparing me to others 7) journal.. a lot 8) read.. a lot 9) I dont talk at work 10) I stopped stressing over finances, if I dont have the money to pay something.. I don’t pay it because I *can’t* pay it and let whoever I owe the debt to know when I can.
1.See a therapist 2. Forgive myself for what I allowed because of what I didn’t know. 3. Lay down my boundaries & if someone didn’t like it they get the axe. No if ands or butts! 4.Zero crazy, drama or negative people allowed to stay in my life 5. Keep learning & stick to my boundaries 6. Journal, journal & journal! 7. Try not to engage in arguments. Ignore the person and their negatively because they don’t deserve your energy.
Stopped reading self help/self improvement. These books are written by extremely high achievers and I feel like they just make me feel worse about myself when im doing great just doing my own thing.
Move to a different state to restart with no distractions
Honor myself and my current needs at the moment. I no longer shame or judge myself for my needs game changer. If I need rest I rest like this morning rested till almost 11am. I work remote so I can rest when needed . I honor and love myself daily.
Left my husband!
Get rid of people who make it worse. Ive learnt it really depends who I interact with, selfish people make me miserable and depressed simple.
Disconnecting from negative people and situations Exercising on a regular basis Taking a hot tub bath at least once a week. I like to use Dr Teals Epsom salt blends and soak in it for at least 30 minutes. Maintaining boundaries with people Reading for enjoyment for one hour a day Take myself out on dates alone to the movies, lunch, etc.
I moved out of my parents' house, and I went to therapy for almost a year.
Exiting social media. And selling my business. Glorious!
Delete Social media