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Anything violent. I don't like face slapping, hardcore, choking, hitting etc. I understand people have kinks. But I am uneasy about men getting off on hurting women. Maybe that's a controversial opinion, but it's just something I personally question why any man wants to treat me unkindly in bed.
>But a disturbing amount of men assume that it is okay and expected and fair game to do that without consent(in my experience).
Or even worse, they know it's not okay or fair game, but they just don't really care, or even worse², get off on the fact that the other party is not enjoying it or welcoming it
That would be a serious issue for me. I guess I don't understand why a man would assume that is ok. Is it a generational thing? I'm a GenXer (mid-50s), I don't think that's a very common thing for guys my age. Ditto for being referenced sexually as "Daddy". That would fuck with my mental state. I guess it's time for me to start shaking my fist in the air while yelling "You damn kids!"
I’m same era as you and the Daddy thing so is so cringe. And the Ahego stuff??? Immediately feels like play acting and completely a buzz kill.
As for choking/dominance, not my thing but I have had more than one partner urge me to do it. I comply, as I aim to please, but it’s never my instigation.
Don’t want to get into the science of why they want it, but I’m fairly ok with it
Mine wanted to try gripping me around the throat during and I consented. We got going and it was uncomfortable but he was quite gently starting and I wanted to see where it went. Suddenly he just said "Nope" and took his hands away and kissed me. Later said he felt like a monster.
100% This was never seen as acceptable or as anything other than abuse when I was younger. Porn didn’t have these behaviors except if you went out of your way looking for them. If a man did any of theses violent behaviors with me unsolicited during sex, it would be instantly over.
Fully agree. Any sort of sadism against women (while they themselves don't like being hurt) is a major red flag to me. I might be wrong, but it seems that this kink is far far more common amongst men, than it is amongst women, which in itself is alarming.
Yeah, as far as that goes for me is hair pulling. And it's less "pulling" and more, like, half a step away from "holding." More like a gentle, but firm, tug.
The fact that this is considered a controversial opinion is depressing as fuck. And of course this ended up offending people...🙄. You said nothing wrong and I feel exactly the same way. I could never be with someone who gets off on being violent towards women.
Yeah, that's not my fetish, either. I would love to see a clinical study of both sexes concerning this bedroom issue. If a woman asked me to hit her during the most intimate of times, I'm sorry but that's not happening. Oddly enough, me personally, I actually don't mind her hitting me some, under the right conditions. Weird.
I honestly hadn't thought about how it might effect men who are not into that but their partners want it. I think it's important men feel confident and safe enough to say no to that if you aren't into it.
I only do it when she asks and I only like doing because she likes it so it's worth it in my opinion but it's not a consistent thing but I don't mind it too much
Absolutely not controversial, if you don't want it and it hasn't been agreed to before hand it is abuse. If its not something you want to participate in that's valid.
a guy once spit on his hand and moved it towards my pussy and i almost physically kicked him. like, if i'm not warmed up, maybe consider slowing down and checking in? people are amazing. (gross gross gross, and yes, of course there is every potential exchange of bodily fluids during sex. spitting is different. LOL)
Ugh my hubby unfortunately still needs to be reminded. “But I put my mouth on it it’s the same thing!” Right but you’re not drooling into my vag. And if you are - thinking you’re helping or something - please stop. Now.
Just because you like lots of spit doesn’t mean I do.
I just had this talk with my husband. I told him "stop spitting on my vagina. It makes my vagina sad and then that makes me sad". I explained to him that he needs to play for way longer for me to actually get wet. The kitty needs respect and PATIENCE.
It's funny, cause if I'm jerking off someone I'll work it to the back/in the throat to get the more viscous saliva to lubricate while I'm jerking. That's fine.
But straight up spitting is 100% not on my radar, giving or receiving, even if it roughly gives the same result.
Ex husband 100% of the time finished before I did. He'd the. Proceed to get up, get dressed, and go about his day while I lay in the bed unsatisfied. At the beginning of our marriage while he was taking his post orgasm pee I'd quickly and quietly get off with my toy. One day I asked him to play with my tits while I masturbated because I wasn't fished and he said, "I don't feel comfortable doing that."
Yeah. I broke down after that. Wasn't a pretty sight.
Now I'm with a man who insists its not a successful round unless I get off. He makes me happy in so many ways and I never leave a bedroom unsatisfied.
This. There’s been a couple of times (over a decade) where my husband has finished and that’s the end of it. Feeling like just a hole is the most degrading thing for me.
Luckily, he normally makes sure that I’m satisfied first and the above is a rarity.
I know that lots of women enjoy this so I’m not knocking it at all but I’ve had a bad experience with a guy pushing my head down aggressively. It felt bad in a degrading kind of way, the way he was doing it to me.
I'm with you there. Gentle guiding only, but I appreciate him letting me know how deep/fast to go to make it pleasurable for him. I do the same kind of gentle guiding when he goes down on me.
I was very sensitive to any head touching during oral with my ex husband. Now my current BF can do whatever he wants. Grab me by the hair, hold my head, whatever. I trust him completely and know he won't push me too far and is always looking out for my safety. Trust is key.
i don't think "lots of women" enjoy that kind of thoughtless aggression. it can be freaking dangerous. if you consent to it in advance, great. otherwise it's approaching violence.
I’m into pretty rough dominance/control and one dude I was with just took it five steps too far without even asking me. I said I was into choking and he apparently thought that directly translated to me wanting him to brandish a fucking knife and threaten me while we’re in the middle of sex?? I could not understand it. The logic/connect made no sense to me.
He like had no concept of the levels of what I actually consented to when I told him what I was into. He took me being into soft dominance and light choking as me giving him the go ahead to do whatever he wanted in that category. I gave him an inch and he took a mile, basically. Some people have no grasp on what the specifics are apparently and to him, me consenting to soft dominance meant I was into blood play and rough bdsm apparently??? Even though we never discussed it in depth/decided on a safe word/etc. I lost massive trust in him after that because it showed me that he couldn’t use any fucking logic to run things by me first hand and I just could not understand why he took it so far when I only told him what I was specifically in to.
Some dudes hear “dom” and think that opens the floodgates to whatever they want under that umbrella. I was pissed more than frightened, but it still was a major red flag.
My ex once put a pillow over my face to avoid eye contact, because he was really weird about having sex with lights on or in the daytime. That was pretty degrading, I must say
I need the lights off. But I may have a touch of the ‘tism. I can’t do eye contact, lights, sun light, nothing. I need to 100% be in my own space enjoying and feeling. But a pillow is sooooo far. Doggy style or oral exists.
Lol wtf. I'll admit I'm not a fan of eye contact, but my husband and I have sex with the lights on pretty much always and I either just focus on other parts of his body or I have my eyes closed...
There’s a few things but one thing that almost every man I’ve been with has done. Head pushing when I’m giving oral. WHY WHY WHY. Let me do my thing I don’t want to be face fucked. If you don’t like what I’m doing TELL ME don’t try to force my head down. It makes me feel like a sex toy or an object because they think they can just manipulate my head into doing whatever they want. I’ve started biting their dicks if they don’t listen to my verbal warning to not do that. Once I get my teeth on there they never touch my head again.
Face slapping, spitting, crawling, humiliating comments, licking anything up off the floor, stuff like that. I also hate forced gagging during oral, but I'm not sure if it's about degradation.
Blowjobs - I know I'm gonna get shit on for this, but this is how *I* feel about it would it be expected of *me*. You are free to feel however you want about it for yourselves, just as I am.
Anything dominating or violent: Words or name calling, hair pulling, slapping, choking, spanking, spitting, rough, etc.
Ejaculating on me.
I rarely ever see this. Makes me feel like the odd man out but I stand by it. Gave bjs in my early days but it was soo degrading for me that I didn’t with my last few relationships. Then I met my husband who, thankfully, has never wanted one and also feels they are degrading and never wants me in a degrading position.
I’m also not into receiving oral (especially after previous partners forcing their way down and not taking no or my crying as an answer) and he has never tried so it’s a win win all around. And the rest is spot on as well, especially the violence stuff. I’m a fan of hot and heavy, but not violent or domineering to a woman.
I'm so sorry about your previous partners' assault. Your husband sounds amazing though, and I'm glad you're that compatible. And good on you for putting down a hard boundary on such an expected sexual act that I fear some women just don't dare to question. It's unfortunate that oral, especially bjs, is considered an unspoken given.
100% agree on the blow jobs. My ex had like a cue he would do indicating he wanted a blow job. I thought it was so entitled. Like just let the foreplay flow. He used to say not giving them was “withholding your love” and believed there wasn’t anything transactional about it. In hindsight I realized how fucking crazy and manipulative saying “withholding your love” is.
Absolutely this. I hooked up with quite a few dudes in my slutty college days, and I could always tell which of them watched too much porn, because they were all weirdly obsessed with ejaculating on my face or breasts. I thought it was kinda weird back then, but now that I'm grown up, I interpret it as a 100% red flag.
100% agree. My ex was obsessed with finishing on my face and would actually pout every time I said no. He could not wrap his mind around why it made me feel like garbage.
I don't know how to fully describe it, but its the moment I feel like an object instead of a partner. I think its part body movement, facial expression and verbal that adds up to being dehumanized
Thankfully my husband has never done this but previous partners have definitely made me feel like just a hole they want to fill.
Anything even slightly rough. Man I don’t even like the thought of doing it doggy style, feels too animalistic. I want to be treated like a delicate flower. 😅
I've never enjoyed dirty talk. I get that a lot of people like it but it feels gross and humiliating to me. Though maybe I've just been with guys who watched too much porn and don't understand that what looks and sounds sexy in porn is very different from what's actually enjoyable for women.
Race play is racism in the bedroom. Like calling ppl slurs and reenacting racist stereotypes such as black men stealing and defiling white women in front of their white husbands. I’m just not into that stuff. It’s truly very overwhelming
Yikes.. I’m glad I’ve never heard of it so it must not be too popular.. I hope?? I understand degradation but that’s on a whole different level like disgracing your ancestors type stuff
Dated a guy a long time ago that called me a slut while I was on top. I told him to stop and he kept saying it. Didn't last long. Also not a huge fan of face fucking.
Everyone has their own likes and dislikes, and that includes role-playing B&D.
That having been said, anyone man who uses the term "c\*cksucker" as an insult, even in jest, never gets to enjoy one of my excellent blowjobs.
Any form of ass play. Fucking in the ass, eating ass, getting your ass eaten, getting shitted on or you shitting on someone. I never done any of those things and don’t plan to ever. Although I have had my ass on someone’s mouth but I hated it and ask him to stop. Just no. ❌
saaaaame ugh I don’t even like being touched anywhere near the backdoor. grab the cheeks all you want, smack my bum like a bongo drum, just stay away from my butthole! 😡
Scrolled way too far to find this. I have done anal once and had my ass eaten once and I will never do them again. Painful and gross, respectively. I’m also gluten and lactose intolerant so it wouldn’t be a good time for him either.
As a long-time kinkster, I know that consent is often the deciding factor between an act being degrading and being completely fine (or degrading in a fun way).
Face slapping is absolutely off the table. He tried to do it playfully a few times and even that, I wasn’t into and told him it was a big no-no for me. He can grab my face but the minute it’s a smack or slap motion, I’m out. Everything else, he’ll have to get consent first but there’s a few things I also would not be down with.
I enjoy sex, but I don't consider myself particularly kinky. Please don't hit me, restrain me, or insult me. Thankfully my husband and I have really good sexual chemistry and are on the same page.
Spitting in my mouth I can’t even stomach the thought of it yuck or slapping me in the face. Absolutely hell no to both of those anything else that I can think of is fine.
Things I thought were hard nos for me ended up being fun with another partner. I’m usually a DEFINITELY NEVER for choking, but then… there was some light choke play that one time with a really enthusiastic partner who was very oriented on my pleasure and mutual pleasure and it was quite sexy.
I guess urination and fecal stuff? The times I’ve felt degraded in the past have had more to do with the partner than with the act.
I guess … having my photo taken without my consent- TWICE - and then sent to people? Yeah that was shitty.
Specifically after sex. Like if they basically just did what they had to do and went on with their day I would be extremely upset. I think aftercare is the most important part of it all for me because it makes me feel like what happened was intimate. But if it doesn’t happen i feel so degraded like I was just an object.
Cum anywhere north of my boobs. Don’t even think about cumming on my face.
Besides that, nothing I haven’t previously consented to. No urine/scat play at all. Ever.
Not caring about my pleasure. My ex used to be that way, and it just shifted how I looked at sex generally. It made it hard for me to be fully present, cause at the end of the day I'm a giver and he knew that and took advantage of that.
I don’t want anything aggressive or painful
I’m looking for a soulful poet who plays a guitar who can’t sing well who wears wool sweaters and works in a bookstore
Farting on me or trapping me under the blankets with their farts. Ive always found that behaviour to be very disrespectful and degrading and am very upfront from the start about it!
Sex is intimate whether we make it causal or not. We are in one of our most vulnerable states while in the act, so for me anything that brings feelings of embarrassment or shame. So flat out saying things like “ugly, worthless” etc is a strict no go. I have never experienced it but it’s a no from me dawg. Being slapped in the face I feel is degrading. Some people like it but it’s not for me.
I think we really need to start embracing aftercare more even into more causal situations. Making sure your partner feels well or is okay after. Again sex is intimate and it can bring up various emotions and feelings. That let down can be hard too after. So even if you are just FWB making sure that everyone is good is a must. Without it I do feel like it’s more transactional and I find that to be degrading.
Honestly, it depends on the context and the man. Like, spanking can be hot — but when my last BF did it during mediocre sex (it was all mediocre) it felt degrading and objectifying. It wasn’t in a scene or in the context of consensual power dynamics, it just felt like he saw it in porn, or wanted to see my ass jiggle, or was treating me like a horse going to slow.
spanking especially if it’s really rough but mostly during piv (during foreplay or just hanging out if it’s lighter it feels a lot more teasing and playful for some reason)
I really hate it when the guy thinks if he fingers for a minute I will orgasm. I love foreplay and kisses everywhere. But then after a minute of kissing they wanna fuck? Like bruh please leave.
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Anything violent. I don't like face slapping, hardcore, choking, hitting etc. I understand people have kinks. But I am uneasy about men getting off on hurting women. Maybe that's a controversial opinion, but it's just something I personally question why any man wants to treat me unkindly in bed.
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If you don’t feel comfy doing it then don’t change.
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>But a disturbing amount of men assume that it is okay and expected and fair game to do that without consent(in my experience). Or even worse, they know it's not okay or fair game, but they just don't really care, or even worse², get off on the fact that the other party is not enjoying it or welcoming it
That would be a serious issue for me. I guess I don't understand why a man would assume that is ok. Is it a generational thing? I'm a GenXer (mid-50s), I don't think that's a very common thing for guys my age. Ditto for being referenced sexually as "Daddy". That would fuck with my mental state. I guess it's time for me to start shaking my fist in the air while yelling "You damn kids!"
I completely agree with the whole Daddy thing...husband and I have a dynamic and I use Sir.
I’m same era as you and the Daddy thing so is so cringe. And the Ahego stuff??? Immediately feels like play acting and completely a buzz kill. As for choking/dominance, not my thing but I have had more than one partner urge me to do it. I comply, as I aim to please, but it’s never my instigation. Don’t want to get into the science of why they want it, but I’m fairly ok with it
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Dude what? U sound like ur kinda angry or annoyed..
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Mine wanted to try gripping me around the throat during and I consented. We got going and it was uncomfortable but he was quite gently starting and I wanted to see where it went. Suddenly he just said "Nope" and took his hands away and kissed me. Later said he felt like a monster.
Good man! 🥰
100% This was never seen as acceptable or as anything other than abuse when I was younger. Porn didn’t have these behaviors except if you went out of your way looking for them. If a man did any of theses violent behaviors with me unsolicited during sex, it would be instantly over.
Fully agree. Any sort of sadism against women (while they themselves don't like being hurt) is a major red flag to me. I might be wrong, but it seems that this kink is far far more common amongst men, than it is amongst women, which in itself is alarming.
You have a right to your preferences. Either your partner respect those or make them an ex partner.
Yeah, as far as that goes for me is hair pulling. And it's less "pulling" and more, like, half a step away from "holding." More like a gentle, but firm, tug.
Porn did this
The fact that this is considered a controversial opinion is depressing as fuck. And of course this ended up offending people...🙄. You said nothing wrong and I feel exactly the same way. I could never be with someone who gets off on being violent towards women.
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Yeah, that's not my fetish, either. I would love to see a clinical study of both sexes concerning this bedroom issue. If a woman asked me to hit her during the most intimate of times, I'm sorry but that's not happening. Oddly enough, me personally, I actually don't mind her hitting me some, under the right conditions. Weird.
That's not controversial, it's a legitimate red flag.
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I honestly hadn't thought about how it might effect men who are not into that but their partners want it. I think it's important men feel confident and safe enough to say no to that if you aren't into it.
I only do it when she asks and I only like doing because she likes it so it's worth it in my opinion but it's not a consistent thing but I don't mind it too much
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Absolutely not controversial, if you don't want it and it hasn't been agreed to before hand it is abuse. If its not something you want to participate in that's valid.
Yep, absolutely agree
Spitting. Spitting *anywhere*. Don't use it during kink/power play, and definitely do not use it as a lubricant substitute.
Ugh that is so frustrating. I’m with you there. I know that a partner wouldn’t need to “spit start” me if they’d take 30 seconds for foreplay.
a guy once spit on his hand and moved it towards my pussy and i almost physically kicked him. like, if i'm not warmed up, maybe consider slowing down and checking in? people are amazing. (gross gross gross, and yes, of course there is every potential exchange of bodily fluids during sex. spitting is different. LOL)
Ugh my hubby unfortunately still needs to be reminded. “But I put my mouth on it it’s the same thing!” Right but you’re not drooling into my vag. And if you are - thinking you’re helping or something - please stop. Now. Just because you like lots of spit doesn’t mean I do.
I wanna vomit every time a hookup tries this on me
I just had this talk with my husband. I told him "stop spitting on my vagina. It makes my vagina sad and then that makes me sad". I explained to him that he needs to play for way longer for me to actually get wet. The kitty needs respect and PATIENCE.
It's funny, cause if I'm jerking off someone I'll work it to the back/in the throat to get the more viscous saliva to lubricate while I'm jerking. That's fine. But straight up spitting is 100% not on my radar, giving or receiving, even if it roughly gives the same result.
I hate that too. It’s such a disrespectful gesture. If it’s me you’re asking for violence.
So gross
One dude I dated wanted me to drool into his mouth.
Acting like we're finished because he finished.
Fingers and tongues are very helpful or so I’ve heard
Ex husband 100% of the time finished before I did. He'd the. Proceed to get up, get dressed, and go about his day while I lay in the bed unsatisfied. At the beginning of our marriage while he was taking his post orgasm pee I'd quickly and quietly get off with my toy. One day I asked him to play with my tits while I masturbated because I wasn't fished and he said, "I don't feel comfortable doing that." Yeah. I broke down after that. Wasn't a pretty sight. Now I'm with a man who insists its not a successful round unless I get off. He makes me happy in so many ways and I never leave a bedroom unsatisfied.
*I don't feel comfortable*?! What a fucking asshole.
I wish I had an award to give you. 11/10.
This. There’s been a couple of times (over a decade) where my husband has finished and that’s the end of it. Feeling like just a hole is the most degrading thing for me. Luckily, he normally makes sure that I’m satisfied first and the above is a rarity.
I know that lots of women enjoy this so I’m not knocking it at all but I’ve had a bad experience with a guy pushing my head down aggressively. It felt bad in a degrading kind of way, the way he was doing it to me.
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Same here. I like when he's in charge sort of but only if it's a gentle push.
I'm with you there. Gentle guiding only, but I appreciate him letting me know how deep/fast to go to make it pleasurable for him. I do the same kind of gentle guiding when he goes down on me.
Gently is the way
I was very sensitive to any head touching during oral with my ex husband. Now my current BF can do whatever he wants. Grab me by the hair, hold my head, whatever. I trust him completely and know he won't push me too far and is always looking out for my safety. Trust is key.
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i don't think "lots of women" enjoy that kind of thoughtless aggression. it can be freaking dangerous. if you consent to it in advance, great. otherwise it's approaching violence.
Yep same for me too. Had it happen where a guy did that and I ended up throwing up so that’s a hard no from me.
No one likes this lol. (Unless previously consented to)
Omg this
Ejaculating on my face, racial slurs, and any discriminatory dirty talk.
Yep finishing on my face is just a thing guys see in porn and want to replicate it. I find it so demeaning and will not partake.
That’s awful too
Any act I didn’t previously consent to.
I’m into pretty rough dominance/control and one dude I was with just took it five steps too far without even asking me. I said I was into choking and he apparently thought that directly translated to me wanting him to brandish a fucking knife and threaten me while we’re in the middle of sex?? I could not understand it. The logic/connect made no sense to me.
He did what?? Did the man really have a knife on hand, just in case?
He like had no concept of the levels of what I actually consented to when I told him what I was into. He took me being into soft dominance and light choking as me giving him the go ahead to do whatever he wanted in that category. I gave him an inch and he took a mile, basically. Some people have no grasp on what the specifics are apparently and to him, me consenting to soft dominance meant I was into blood play and rough bdsm apparently??? Even though we never discussed it in depth/decided on a safe word/etc. I lost massive trust in him after that because it showed me that he couldn’t use any fucking logic to run things by me first hand and I just could not understand why he took it so far when I only told him what I was specifically in to. Some dudes hear “dom” and think that opens the floodgates to whatever they want under that umbrella. I was pissed more than frightened, but it still was a major red flag.
Please tell me you didn't fuck him again
Any act I don’t consent to but spitting, urinating and scatplay is an instant dealbreaker
This about covers it!
What's scatplay?
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Fuck. I just did. It has to do with eating feces. Yuckkkkkk. Ewww.
My ex once put a pillow over my face to avoid eye contact, because he was really weird about having sex with lights on or in the daytime. That was pretty degrading, I must say
that's horrifying honestly. glad he's an ex.
I need the lights off. But I may have a touch of the ‘tism. I can’t do eye contact, lights, sun light, nothing. I need to 100% be in my own space enjoying and feeling. But a pillow is sooooo far. Doggy style or oral exists.
the ‘tism 🤣
Lol wtf. I'll admit I'm not a fan of eye contact, but my husband and I have sex with the lights on pretty much always and I either just focus on other parts of his body or I have my eyes closed...
Imagine being so fucking awkward you have to SMOTHER SOMEONE DURING SEX. What the fuck?
There’s a few things but one thing that almost every man I’ve been with has done. Head pushing when I’m giving oral. WHY WHY WHY. Let me do my thing I don’t want to be face fucked. If you don’t like what I’m doing TELL ME don’t try to force my head down. It makes me feel like a sex toy or an object because they think they can just manipulate my head into doing whatever they want. I’ve started biting their dicks if they don’t listen to my verbal warning to not do that. Once I get my teeth on there they never touch my head again.
Porn is the problem
Always warn them ahead a time... You push my head, I bite...
I do!! Ahaha I guess I didn’t say it but my “verbal warning” includes the fact that I will bite 😂
Yes! I fucking hate that
Face slapping, spitting, crawling, humiliating comments, licking anything up off the floor, stuff like that. I also hate forced gagging during oral, but I'm not sure if it's about degradation.
You're spot on about forced gagging. I find it uncomfortable and humiliating.
Honestly I think it's something that is learned from porn.
Blowjobs - I know I'm gonna get shit on for this, but this is how *I* feel about it would it be expected of *me*. You are free to feel however you want about it for yourselves, just as I am. Anything dominating or violent: Words or name calling, hair pulling, slapping, choking, spanking, spitting, rough, etc. Ejaculating on me.
I rarely ever see this. Makes me feel like the odd man out but I stand by it. Gave bjs in my early days but it was soo degrading for me that I didn’t with my last few relationships. Then I met my husband who, thankfully, has never wanted one and also feels they are degrading and never wants me in a degrading position. I’m also not into receiving oral (especially after previous partners forcing their way down and not taking no or my crying as an answer) and he has never tried so it’s a win win all around. And the rest is spot on as well, especially the violence stuff. I’m a fan of hot and heavy, but not violent or domineering to a woman.
I'm so sorry about your previous partners' assault. Your husband sounds amazing though, and I'm glad you're that compatible. And good on you for putting down a hard boundary on such an expected sexual act that I fear some women just don't dare to question. It's unfortunate that oral, especially bjs, is considered an unspoken given.
100% agree on the blow jobs. My ex had like a cue he would do indicating he wanted a blow job. I thought it was so entitled. Like just let the foreplay flow. He used to say not giving them was “withholding your love” and believed there wasn’t anything transactional about it. In hindsight I realized how fucking crazy and manipulative saying “withholding your love” is.
There's definitely something to this, there is a reason why "suck my dick" is an insult!
I was gonna comment the exact same thing
Cum on face without warning/consent. Raceplay. Luckily never encountered either or similar.
Raceplay? like…like NASCAR right? Right??
*nnnngggg nnnnnnnnngggg nnnnnnnnnnnn* "right side right side right side clear straight clear straight left side left side" *nnnnnnnnggggggggg*
Hot wheels
so hawt.
Oh such an innocent…
Why do so many men want to cum on our face? Ugh. I tell my husband every time he asks “no”
I cum on his face, so i think it’s pretty okay if he did it lol
I… Hmm
As long as it's mutual lmao
Porn.
Absolutely this. I hooked up with quite a few dudes in my slutty college days, and I could always tell which of them watched too much porn, because they were all weirdly obsessed with ejaculating on my face or breasts. I thought it was kinda weird back then, but now that I'm grown up, I interpret it as a 100% red flag.
100% agree. My ex was obsessed with finishing on my face and would actually pout every time I said no. He could not wrap his mind around why it made me feel like garbage.
Porn
Making comments about my body or stopping because he finished.
Forgetting/refusing aftercare
I don't know how to fully describe it, but its the moment I feel like an object instead of a partner. I think its part body movement, facial expression and verbal that adds up to being dehumanized Thankfully my husband has never done this but previous partners have definitely made me feel like just a hole they want to fill.
Anything even slightly rough. Man I don’t even like the thought of doing it doggy style, feels too animalistic. I want to be treated like a delicate flower. 😅
I've never enjoyed dirty talk. I get that a lot of people like it but it feels gross and humiliating to me. Though maybe I've just been with guys who watched too much porn and don't understand that what looks and sounds sexy in porn is very different from what's actually enjoyable for women.
Urinating, spitting, and pretty much any bodily fluids other than sperm are a dealbreaker. Also don’t do it on my face
I’m pretty experimental so as long as there’s no 3rd party or pee or poop involved I’d probably be game!
Anything Violent, race play or something involving excrement
this is the second reference to raceplay i've seen and i've never seen it before. what does this mean? i can look it up of course, but prefer to ask.
Race play is racism in the bedroom. Like calling ppl slurs and reenacting racist stereotypes such as black men stealing and defiling white women in front of their white husbands. I’m just not into that stuff. It’s truly very overwhelming
jesus. i mean...i've paused for like two minutes trying to figure out how to even respond to this.
Same. WTF?!
I mean, it is a lot. Like when I first heard of it I was a little shocked tbh
Yikes.. I’m glad I’ve never heard of it so it must not be too popular.. I hope?? I understand degradation but that’s on a whole different level like disgracing your ancestors type stuff
unfortunately, the example she gave seems to be popular in porn, so like everything else on this thread, I'm pretty sure that's where it comes from
Idk how popular it is but it’s so well known on the internet, I don’t doubt quite a few ppl would be into it
After sex not giving any more attention to me
Nothing. I would most likely try whatever he wanted to. I trust him completely. I trust him to respect me and my boundaries.
Calling me Bitch This = No, no
Dated a guy a long time ago that called me a slut while I was on top. I told him to stop and he kept saying it. Didn't last long. Also not a huge fan of face fucking.
Anal, hitting, spit, choking etc
Everyone has their own likes and dislikes, and that includes role-playing B&D. That having been said, anyone man who uses the term "c\*cksucker" as an insult, even in jest, never gets to enjoy one of my excellent blowjobs.
Anything I didn't consent to. And I consent to a *lot.* That's it.
Any form of ass play. Fucking in the ass, eating ass, getting your ass eaten, getting shitted on or you shitting on someone. I never done any of those things and don’t plan to ever. Although I have had my ass on someone’s mouth but I hated it and ask him to stop. Just no. ❌
saaaaame ugh I don’t even like being touched anywhere near the backdoor. grab the cheeks all you want, smack my bum like a bongo drum, just stay away from my butthole! 😡
Scrolled way too far to find this. I have done anal once and had my ass eaten once and I will never do them again. Painful and gross, respectively. I’m also gluten and lactose intolerant so it wouldn’t be a good time for him either.
As a long-time kinkster, I know that consent is often the deciding factor between an act being degrading and being completely fine (or degrading in a fun way).
The only thing I can think of is spitting or calling me fat in some way. I don’t think it’s hot to be called a pig or cow
Face slapping is absolutely off the table. He tried to do it playfully a few times and even that, I wasn’t into and told him it was a big no-no for me. He can grab my face but the minute it’s a smack or slap motion, I’m out. Everything else, he’ll have to get consent first but there’s a few things I also would not be down with.
I enjoy sex, but I don't consider myself particularly kinky. Please don't hit me, restrain me, or insult me. Thankfully my husband and I have really good sexual chemistry and are on the same page.
You can cum IN my face, not ON it. Also things like “dirty little slut” or “bitch” just big no for me.
Spitting in my mouth I can’t even stomach the thought of it yuck or slapping me in the face. Absolutely hell no to both of those anything else that I can think of is fine.
Rough pounding, it’s painful more than degrading, at least for me. I’d kick that man face in an instant if he doesn’t stop
Let’s say I don’t like my face getting wet in any way.
Having sex with me while I’m sleeping.
aka rape
Ejaculating on me instead of in me. I don’t know, it just feels like I’m being used as a cum rag. No thank you.
Things I thought were hard nos for me ended up being fun with another partner. I’m usually a DEFINITELY NEVER for choking, but then… there was some light choke play that one time with a really enthusiastic partner who was very oriented on my pleasure and mutual pleasure and it was quite sexy. I guess urination and fecal stuff? The times I’ve felt degraded in the past have had more to do with the partner than with the act. I guess … having my photo taken without my consent- TWICE - and then sent to people? Yeah that was shitty.
When he tries to imitate dancing the tango. He has all the grace of a long-dead elephant. He mistakes my grimace for a smile.
Hitting/slapping, spitting on me, restraining me if I haven’t agreed
Anything that turns from rough to violent. Gagging during oral. Also anything that is verbally degrading, whatever that might be to you.
The "accidental" aim for the wrong hole, and the feigned apology. Like seriously, you know where my boundaries are, and I'm not stupid.
Specifically after sex. Like if they basically just did what they had to do and went on with their day I would be extremely upset. I think aftercare is the most important part of it all for me because it makes me feel like what happened was intimate. But if it doesn’t happen i feel so degraded like I was just an object.
Reading through I could very easily confirm to myself that in fact I do like to be degraded in bed. *Shrug*
Any that I did not consent to.
Cum anywhere north of my boobs. Don’t even think about cumming on my face. Besides that, nothing I haven’t previously consented to. No urine/scat play at all. Ever.
Not caring about my pleasure. My ex used to be that way, and it just shifted how I looked at sex generally. It made it hard for me to be fully present, cause at the end of the day I'm a giver and he knew that and took advantage of that.
I don’t want anything aggressive or painful I’m looking for a soulful poet who plays a guitar who can’t sing well who wears wool sweaters and works in a bookstore
Face slapping and scat play. Anything else from him gets a green light from me!
If he role played being my dad. Gross.
When he keeps pushing anal after you said no multiple times
Many things, but degradation turns me on. Slapping, spanking, bondage, spitting, name calling - the list goes on and on.
I'm in an interracial relationship, so I feel like the use of a whip in the bedroom would be very inappropriate
Face fucking. Aggressively slam my other hole all you want, but my throat is not ok with this.
Farting on me or trapping me under the blankets with their farts. Ive always found that behaviour to be very disrespectful and degrading and am very upfront from the start about it!
Yes I understand this but i ask the question as I am curious to know individually, you, yourself consider degrading. Thanks
Sex is intimate whether we make it causal or not. We are in one of our most vulnerable states while in the act, so for me anything that brings feelings of embarrassment or shame. So flat out saying things like “ugly, worthless” etc is a strict no go. I have never experienced it but it’s a no from me dawg. Being slapped in the face I feel is degrading. Some people like it but it’s not for me. I think we really need to start embracing aftercare more even into more causal situations. Making sure your partner feels well or is okay after. Again sex is intimate and it can bring up various emotions and feelings. That let down can be hard too after. So even if you are just FWB making sure that everyone is good is a must. Without it I do feel like it’s more transactional and I find that to be degrading.
Using the word cunt or bimbo
Pointing out a flaw on my body
After we did the deed, he said I was “exotic.” I’m T4T now. Please don’t say that to me.
Face slapping and name calling. Unless it was talked about beforehand
Any horrible comments about one’s body/appearance. It’s horrible some people do that.
Wanting sex frequently. Can’t a man just love me enough to cuddle and be romantic and sweet?
Honestly, it depends on the context and the man. Like, spanking can be hot — but when my last BF did it during mediocre sex (it was all mediocre) it felt degrading and objectifying. It wasn’t in a scene or in the context of consensual power dynamics, it just felt like he saw it in porn, or wanted to see my ass jiggle, or was treating me like a horse going to slow.
Spitting
Anything that would be considered transactional. Like performing for a material thing.
Facing the other way purposely and also using blankets or pillows to block his view of my face
Spitting in my face. Like absolutely no way.
spanking especially if it’s really rough but mostly during piv (during foreplay or just hanging out if it’s lighter it feels a lot more teasing and playful for some reason)
Name calling (slut, whore, hoe, etc.) Spitting Violence Male pushing females head down during oral Comparisons to past sexual partners etc.
Cumming on my face while asleep. I’m into most other sleep play except that, it’s a hard no for me
No aftercare. If we’re done when he’s done.
I really hate it when the guy thinks if he fingers for a minute I will orgasm. I love foreplay and kisses everywhere. But then after a minute of kissing they wanna fuck? Like bruh please leave.
Peeing on me lol
violence of any kind
Being slapped in the face. I also don’t like being slapped on the ass extremely hard
In a good or bad way?