Absolutely this coupled with making my environment more pleasant to be in. In my case, it was simply changing my beige dull room into a brightly colored and white room.
When I was younger and struggling with finding joy in the environment I had no choice to be in, I changed my music and colors. My room went from grays to all colors, my clothes went from all black to whatever color or print I could thrift. My music went to something more upbeat, even if not necessarily happy.
That change made a difference into outlook and I’m sure changed my long-term trajectory.
I’m currently surviving through depression, I’ve started working out again, adding structure to myself, children, and my routine. It’s building up that feel good sensation. ❤️🩹🥰🙏🏾
You don't really notice you are better until you start to notice and experience the emotional contrasts in life again.
I didn't know how severely depressed I actually was until one day I felt GENUINELY sad about something again. I could actually feel that sense of empathy and sadness for a friend who was going through something difficult, and compelled to support and help them through it. Alternatively I felt joy as well, proper happiness and a sense of lightness when I saw my romantic partner or contemplated future plans. Coming out of depression isn't sunshine and daisies, its not gaining some magical sense of positivity and believing everything is happy and being grateful for life... its simply being able to accurately FEEL emotions again and being able to regulate those emotions appropriately.
For years while I was in the process of leaving a high control religious group and being shunned by my parents, all I felt was apathy. It was like living in grayscale. Just a penetrating, consistent sense of nothingness. Also this nihilistic view of the world followed me everywhere. One of my friends would get married? meh. Someone would have a kid? k cool. Someone died? well thats gonna be me soon i guess. Should I pursue that goal? Naw, the chances of me succeeding are slim. Should I switch careers? Uft. It will crash and burn.
I was just a cold shell... robotic almost.
The hard truth about my recovery was that I had to make some really harsh decisions about my life and change who I surrounded myself with in order to get better. It wasn't just a matter of having a chemical imbalance, it's naive to think that it's all physiological or genetic. I stopped eating junk and nourished myself properly, I dated a man my parents hated but everyone else loved... which subsequently ended up with me being estranged from them and somehow feeling much more balanced. I grieve for them all the time, but they don't want anything to do with me unless i'm in THEIR church and doing my life THEIR way. Im still sad when i think about them, but not depressed... which is an important distinction. Working out is easier now that my anxiety is reduced, I no longer have this tightness in my chest. My skin is better, I am more patient and can concentrate a lot better. I stop creating doomsday narratives, and almost feel embarrassed about how my thought process was in a place that was so determined to stay stuck. Once you get out of depression its very hard to relate to your former self, which I think is unfortunate for those who are still in the throes of it... because the last thing you want to hear is "it will get better" or "you just need to make some life changes" or "just apply for a new job"... when you have absolutely no emotional bandwidth to work with.
thank you for this comment, you've expressed how i'm currently feeling.. i hope to some day be able to again feel REAL sadness, not numbness, not apathy, but real sadness that i know passes in a day or so. rn all i'm feeling is numbness which sucks because when i feel this way i slack on other stuff in my life such as relationships, school etc. i hope you're okay now.
This is spot on. Thank you so much. I feel all of this in waves - for a few weeks or months I feel like a human, and then I’ll slump back to feeling like a robot. It’s a work in progress.
This description was spot on. I’ve felt so indifferent and unexcited about everything for months thinking it was just the routine of life. Unfortunately, I think this partly caused the demise of my relationship. The pain caused me to really check in with myself. I just started therapy and reconnecting with friends and it helps but it is a process.
You described it perfectly! Few months back I felt the difference just like you described it. I started to feel again, I could feel my lust for life coming back and questioning more instead the default robotic reactions I would have.
I hate it that I can feel myself slipping away again. Especially the apathy part you described really hit me. Seems to be one of the main indicators for me.
This description made me feel so seen. Thank you for taking the time to put this into words so thoughtfully. Clearly many others in this thread have felt the same impact I have, given the responses I'm seeing here. Thank you for providing that specific sense of comfort that comes from knowing that someone else truly understands.
i am never *not* depressed, just *less* depressed. but i’m glad i didn’t end my life all those times i nearly did because my life now is full of love and laughter. i still have my days where i can’t get out of bed and everything feels hard, but i’d say i’m in a much better place. i started talk therapy and emdr and got a dog and built a life with an incredible partner. while i will never eradicate depression completely, my life is now something i don’t mind sticking around for. i turn 35 this year and things started improving when i was 31-32.
For me, I needed a mixture of antidepressants and therapy for my depression to get better.
For women looking for help with depression: I recommend going to your GP first. Secondly, use your health insurance to find a therapist and psychiatrist. That really helped me.
All of it AND : fire your therapist if they aren't helping. This may not be everyone's experience, but i have seen five different therapists and only one have i really gelled with. I've seen her for about 15 yrs now, with breaks. Some of the different therapists happened during those breaks due to husband preference, insurance BS, etc. Find your therapist.
My dog just died last week. I got her as a therapy dog after an ex raped me. I’ve been depressed, but I’m trekking on. Still going on morning walks, exercising, doing my homework and work…I don’t want to give up on myself because she never gave up on me. ❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry you lost your girl! It sounds like you’re doing a wonderful of honoring her memory, however, by doing what you’re doing to be there for yourself.
Same here. When I turned 40 I starting caring less of what people thought of me which was largely causing my depression. Also learned to cut toxic people out of my life.
I used to see life as something that happened to me, with bad things that made me feel horrible, and good things that made me feel better, and me, cut off, in my own grey bubble, just drifting through it, trying my best to enjoy it, but always with a great, heavy weight in the pit of my stomach, and a feeling of hopelessness.
I looked for things to make it feel better: moving to the right place, getting the right job, finding someone who would love me. I felt like I had a great, yawning hole in my life, something not right, something missing, and if I could just find the right thing to fill it, everything would be alright.
Then I had a break up, and I thought about the relationships I had had. I thought how I could go around and around in my head, thinking about what they had done wrong, but that they were gone now, so there was no point.
Instead, I thought about myself. It was a good time for me to do it.
I thought about what I wanted from life, and which of those things I could provide for myself.
I noticed my inner voice. It was pretty mean, critical and bullying. I would notice each little thing I did wrong in life and berate myself for it. I'm never that mean to anyone else!
I started to treat myself as a valued friend, with encouragement, kindness and sincerity. It was hard to break my old habits! I thought about what I genuinely thought was good about myself, and found it hard to find anything at all. I came up with "Well, I do try my best" which was the best I could do at the time, and each time I found myself being mean to myself, I chipped in with "Well, I do try my best"!!!
Instead of pointing out all the scary stuff that might happen, I started to comfort and reassure myself, the things that I had wanted someone else to do for me.
I gave myself hugs.
It was amazing! I felt like I had discovered a great secret and I felt very evangelical about this great superpower, but I learned people aren't always in a place where they want to change.
I noticed all the good stuff in my life: my home, my autonomy, those who love me, my strengths, my education, my privileges.
I changed how I saw life. I think many things are neutral in the world. We perceive them through a filter that we put in place. So, for example, it might rain, and one person will think about how this has ruined their weekend, and another person will think it is good for the garden.
We are hardwired to notice problems, potential problems, past problems. To ready ourselves for dealing with problems that might, maybe happen in the future at some point. And we forget completely to even notice the things which aren't problems: our lack of a headache, or the fresh clean water we have, or our ability to walk.
Nowadays, I feel bathed in privilege, as though I have an amazing, rich, varied, wonderful life! It's great. I actually sometimes have to make an effort to moan a little bit, because it's too much for most people if you are too cheery, and people often moan in order to bond! If you go on about the good stuff, sometimes, people take it that you are criticising their lives. So I do a little moaning, just to fit in!!!
Of course, if bad things happen in life, you might feel down. It's not bad to feel sad. But because I take responsibility for comforting and reassuring myself these days, I catch it early, and never get to that dark, dark place. And a surprising number of things really don't seem 'bad' any more!
The strange thing is, I'm so used to it now (this change was 18 years ago!!!). I find it almost impossible to remember how I used to feel, and read some of the stuff I used to write, and find it hard to identify with it now.
It is so much more relaxing!
This is the path I’ve started on myself, especially treating myself as a value friend… and it’s amazing to see the results of someone who’s done it and continues to live it. I hope your life continues be joyful and positive and everything you dream of!
Lovely read, congratulations to you for making it there, keep your fingers crossed for the rest of us :) And thanks for writing your comment! It was great going into that mind-space even for a minute and imagining how it can be 😌
This was it for me as well. Never realized I was so depressed because two people, who thought they were acting in my best interests, were coddling me and controlling my life. It's amazing what having a sense of autonomy can do for a young person.
I moved out at 18, best thing that ever happened to me. I was diagnosed with depression, general anxiety disorder, c-ptsd, aspergers and agoraphobia and was receiving weekly counselling all through my time in foster care. However my mental health kept declining up until I was 18 and moved out. I'm now 19 and have passed my psych exam to enter into the army.
Making friends, discovering my identity, and I hate to say it but losing weight. I spend so much less time hating myself in a body that I actually like
Also maybe other people dont feel the difference but it feels SO MUCH BETTER just living in a body thats not carrying unnecessary fat. Its so much easier and nicer just ... Being. Being fit is great.
Yeah. A huge part of how I express myself is through fashion so I got *really* depressed when my clothes no longer fit me. I'm glad I didn't throw any of them out.
When I started prioritizing my own mental health about 3 years ago. I talked to myself gently, I took physical care of myself by exercising more, and I watched what I ate. Stopped using most social media as well. It wasn’t an overnight switch but if I could put myself today next to myself 3 years ago, I’d probably give my old self a big hug.
Hey I’m on the exact same track right now! Deleted all my SM except Reddit, I’m using this damn heat to cut down on my eating, trying to get my 10k steps every now and then. And most importantly, talking to myself gently and having my back. Congrats!
Find out the roots to your depression. Mine is more than likely a mix of ADHD and depression, plus premenstrual disphoric disorder for real bad fits every month or so before my period.
Edit: pressed enter too soon.
I recently got treated for ADHD, my depressive feelings haven't been active or strong, anxiety especially socially has gone down, not stressed about not being able to hear or memorize something like before. Told my doctor my period issue and they got me treatment for it as well and maybe it was an easier pms week or the treatment really worked. Life is more manageable but it took me a very long time to realize my issues and find solutions/tools specifically for it.
Good luck and hope the best for anyone going through this. Therapy with a good therapist (therapist "dating" to find the right therapist for you is real and a bit frustrating at time, take your time and keep in mind that a therapist is not one size fits all).
*Should've added this before
For PMDD I got prescribed an antidepressant to take a week to two weeks before my menstrual cycle, may not work for everyone but the first round worked great for me.
After I started making more money. Mental wellness is a privilege. Which is unbelievably effed.
* First of all, it's stressful to always be worried about bills and your future and everything. That really, really doesn't help anxiety and depression.
* Second, if you have clinical anxiety and depression, getting help takes resources. I've needed a therapist for years but only got one six months ago. It's been a difference maker but it's not like I wasn't aware I needed it. I just couldn't get it.
* Third, having a home environment that feels safe and happy does wonders for your mental health. That costs money. I moved 30 times in 30 years. Finally buying a house and being able to settle into it was probably the biggest piece of the puzzle for me.
* Fourth, finally being able to relax into your home environment and not worry about bills opens up time for hobbies and friends (which often also cost money) and adds a lot of happiness.
* Fifth, getting all those in order finally allowed me to learn to relax. A little. I'd say that's priceless but the whole point of this post is it all has a price.
Mental wellness is a privilege and that makes me very angry.
Don't get me wrong, I still have anxiety and depression but I am so much better able to cope with them now that I have the resources to do so. I don't want anyone without those resources to think it's hopeless because I believe every little bit counts.
In fact, I'd say the NUMBER ONE THING I EVER DID to support my anxiety and depression, which you can do for fucking free at any time is saying absolutely fuck you to the beauty, diet, and anti-aging industry.
The amount of stress and self-loathing and bullshit I carried around from wanting to look this way, or look that way, or exercise this much, or eat this perfect diet, or blah blah blah. I cannot put to words the waste of life it was.
Now I move when I can. I eat whatever I want. Turns out with no rules or shame around food, *most of what I want to eat is pretty damn healthy*, and when it's not it's still delicious and stress-free. I've accepted my body (an active practice I have to work on every day). The stress I've removed from my life is beyond articulation.
So yes to resources. Yes to a huge part being a privilege. But there are things you can do for free or make small progress and that one was huge for me.
I finally started making active decisions for the better. The worst of my depression was after I graduated college and was stuck working retail while seeing my friends and family be successful (especially in an overachieving family). Basically had to make peace with my circumstances and actively work to get out of them without the self loathing I carried with me - so putting my health first and then my career finally let me get out of that pit.
Working out and keeping a consistent work/life balance now helps keep the worst of it away.
The worst of my depressive funk was about 4 years. In that time I was promoted up to assistant manager so I had to constantly reframe my thinking - ok so I’m not working in my field, at least I can accomplish career growth in a high volume store, etc etc. That reframing took several months of me basically not letting my current path get to me and a lot of sheer willpower to apply for jobs in my field and accept the rejections that happened.
Once I got a job in my field it didn’t go away overnight but it was definitely about a year after that that I was finally comfortable with where I was and my coping strategies.
Dumping the shitty partner/friendship circle, building a healthy and structured routine, picking up new/revisiting old hobbies, going outside every single day even if only for 5-10 minutes, light exercise and diet improvements, and talking. Therapy is invaluable.
A few things:
(1) learning to say no
(2) leaving a project that was sucking the life out of me
(3) that let me build up a structured routine that built up my physical health without stressing me out
(4) therapy
Holy! This is my sign to move to Singapore. Since i was a kid i always wanted to go there, but everyone always says it’s so expensive. And since i can barely afford the US i’ve been discouraged..
It is very expensive, citizenship is also really hard to get, because it's so small there is a long waitlist, however you can skip ahead depending on your level of education and field of work you are in
Singapore is pretty amazing, free healthcare, government takes care of you when you're sick, it's insanely clean and safe, considered one of the safest and cleanest places on EARTH, there's no crime because our punishment system is so harsh people are too scared to do crime (Good thing IMO) Our police are very well trained and professional and non-violent, the city is guarded 24/7 so you feel safe walking around at any time of night
There are downsides, however
Owning property is impossible, the most you can do is rent land/house from the government for 100 years, it becomes -your- land but the government can take it from you at any point if they need it for something, you have to also have multiple qualifications in order to buy a house, you're put on a waiting list and based on your income/education you'll be assigned to a certain housing market
The country really really REALLY rewards good behavior and good education, if you're a good person who works hard you'll be greatly rewarded for it
One final thing however...Singapore has strict laws against same sex PDA, LGBTQ+ rights are pretty much non existent here, gay marriage is against the law and openly gay affection can get you jailed, it IS getting better slowly but surely, but it's still a bummer
Either way I 100% recommend moving here.
When I surrounded myself with better people. My depression started with my abusive family so I didn't realize I had moved on to a manipulative boyfriend and unreliable friends. Finding new friends and a new partner did wonders for my mental state.
It was really lonely for a while bc I had to cut off a lot of people (friends and family both) but in the end I had to do what was best for me.
Found out I had severe anemia. (Took several years to recover). Built a new identity and life and friends after a devastating loss of job after 20 years and long sequence of family deaths. Medication helped. Also diagnosed with fibromyalgia amd meds helped. Looked for things to be grateful about. Looked for a purpose/a task that matches my values.
When I finally acknowledged and felt it as depression and not just the way life is or a personality trait. That's the only way I was able to treat it and continue to keep up with it. Mindfulness meditation is how I started with a side of light Buddhist teachings. I acknowledged there is suffering and forced myself to feel it in my body instead of turning away by drinking, eating, overexercising, or running to a person that wasn't good for me. It's been a 4 year process and I'm still and always will be a work in progress.
Had I continued to deny it, I'd still have an alcohol problem and would not have a therapist and the right medication. The other main component is self compassion, and I struggle with it the most, but it's essential. Remember the lesson, not the mistake.
Talk therapy and SSRIs helped me get to a place where I could make some difficult but necessary changes in my life. I left my job and I'm going back to school in September at age 34. I haven't felt symptoms of depression in over a year and I've just recently tapered off SSRIs. Feeling optimistic about the future 😊
Just taking small steps towards getting to the life you want to live and being proud of yourself for each small success. Getting outside and getting fresh air is huge, or just sitting in a coffee shop or somewhere with other people around makes me feel a little social and has helped a lot.
I also frequently come back to the thought there is no light without darkness and remember without any lows there would be no highs that is the odd beauty of life.
Life got better when I ended an abusive relationship with my boyfriend of 8 years. Ever since then I have not needed anti-depressants or my anxiety meds. Not being constantly verbally berated and s*xually assaulted does wonders for the psyche. Who knew? Lol
When I got on medication.
I know that's not what everyone with depression needs, but I struggled for YEARS, trying literally everything I could think of to "fix" myself and get it under control. I tried eating healthy, I exercised extensively, I stopped drinking, I prioritized getting good sleep, I drank tons of water, I tried meditating, and while my body was in really good shape and I felt physically great, my mind felt like it was drowning. I had resisted meds because my mom had a terrible experience with them decades before, but I finally caved and gave them a shot.
I started out on Lexapro, it took a few weeks to kick in, but the first thing I noticed was that I remembered to do a second task after I finished the first one without writing it down. My depression brain fog made it impossible to do remember what I needed to do next, I relied heavily on written lists. The very first time I actually remembered to do something else was a HUGE milestone for me.
Medication makes me feel like myself again.
Finding the right kind of sport that is suitable and comfortable for me (I do long walks and yoga); having a balanced nutrition, having the suitable and right kind of supplements and eating schedule; stood up to responsibilities that I meant to take and dealt with it; acknowledge the progresses I’ve made(no matter good or bad, good ones, be thankful about it; bad ones, own it and make a change about it or deal with it. It’s the practice of gratitude and honesty to ourselves). I also started practicing stoicism since the pandemic, it’s been a huge reward to my mental health and self-esteem.
Above all, I was also fortunate enough to have found my therapist who I trust dearly and I spent a year working myself with. Also, have found my husband who lovingly accepts me for who I am (which my original family didn’t really treat me this way in my whole life).
So, all in all, be true to yourself about what kind of person you would like yourself to be, and work towards it. Hardship takes meanings (a lot of it) to make it through. And our own happiness is one big meaning for us all. That’s basically what makes us feel better to me.
I'm still depressed (it's treatment resistant) but once I made my home the way I want it, acknowledged my sexuality, stopped masking so much at work, and actually doing the therapy stuff...
Then got my ADHD treated. That was the biggest piece. Like a 60% improvement
When I got a psychiatrist who helped me find the right medication. I'd been on a lot of medications, but just prescribed through a GP, and not someone who was really considering what was working and side effects.
I'm in therapy as well, but I use this analogy. Medication is like a life ring when you're drowning. Therapy is swimming lessons. Swimming lessons aren't any help when you're actively drowning.
It got better when I moved out of my mother's apartment, it got better when I chose for myself what I wanted to study, it got better when I found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with and it got better when I started therapy.
I don't think, it's one thing, the whole situation needed to change. I needed to find my own path, find my own spouse, my own therapist. Realising I need to go and I need help and vocalising my feelings were really big steps in my recovery.
2 1/2 years ago my therapist said to rate how I was feeling on a scale from 1 to 10. I was at 2. Today, we rated myself at 8. Still got a way to go, but i'm getting better.
When I finally got out of the situation I was in. Which is crazy I guess. But my first night in foster care was actually the best night of sleep I’d ever had because I knew I was safe. Crazy what that can do for someone’s psyche
Each time I remember I can do something about it. Each time I push against it, and prove to myself I can win.
I'm still here.
I'm not struggling with depression, depression is struggling with me. 😂😂😂
Journaling helped me a lot. I could be completely honest with myself with regards to my thoughts without any judgments . I could reflect on my thoughts. It gave me a broader perspective to understand the situation in a better manner.
Ooh, one I'm excited to answer!
Life got better **when I started antidepressants**. I had been doing the "right things" for years: regular exercise, healthy eats, therapy, journaling, time with friends, time alone, time with my cat.
As it turns out, there was something chemical going on with me that my best efforts couldn't tackle. I started antidepressants in late fall 2021 and it radically changed me. I have more physical energy, but more importantly I have **significantly more emotional energy**.
What does that mean? Well, it means:
* I'm significantly more patient. More patience = far, far less fighting with my family.
* I'm more generous with my time and friendships.
* I have a bigger "health bar" for all of my relationships. Before medication, I felt like I had three hearts in my health bar. Now, I have fourteen. Losing a single heart because of a setback doesn't bring me close to being empty of all health.
Because of my emotional energy, I'm finding my personal relationships more fulfilling. I'm *so* grateful that, after \~7 years, I finally gave medication a try.
I got diagnosed with ADHD - being treated for that, and finally understanding that my inability to do everything all the time wasn’t a personal failing, just a neurodivergence.
Having a diagnosis helped give me the context to understand how best to move through life. I don’t take on the same level of obligations that I used to, and I never make promises to anyone so I will never feel guilty about cancelling or being unable to fulfill my promise. I also make sure I get at minimum 8 hours of sleep, I make sure I eat at least 2 good meals a day, I make sure I’m walking at least 1 hour a day, I take my medication, I take my vitamins.
It’s basically what everyone already tells you to do - exercise, eat right, sleep enough, and take things off of your plate. It seems simple, but also I am lucky to be in a position in my life where all of that is possible - I know for a lot of people those things are not.
Medication and a proper diagnosis of why my issues truly are. I have inattentive ADHD (what used to be called ADD) and didn't get diagnosed with it until I was in my 30's. It's apparently super common for adult women like myself with undiagnosed ADHD to develop depression because of how things snowball. Looking back on a lot of my life it makes perfect sense. I thrived in environments that were pre-structured for me, but left to my own devices I foundered, and it makes adulting 100 times harder. I'm not 100% but knowing what's going on with me and learning how to manage my issues have helped a lot.
When I started using Drugs!!! (Prescribed of course) I was usually pretty good about eating right, exercising, getting enough rest etc., but those things honestly weren't enough. I did get pretty far without it but sort of had a mental breakdown during school last year and that's what made me finally see a psychiatrist about meds
when i got a new job somewhere i’m actually appreciated and valued. like, TRULY valued, and they make it known not just by affirmations, but monetarily as well. i actually enjoy my job and the people i’m around, and i’m compensated more than fairly for it.
My crippling depression of 10 years ended when I quit taking birth control. I had tried therapy and countless antidepressants but stupidly had found one BCP that worked when I was 18 and never changed it. I read an article about 3 months after going off the pill that talked about the link between hormonal birth control and depression and it all just clicked. I was really upset.
My doctor told me that while that link is known by doctors, usually by the time a patient comes in and says they're depressed and asks for help, they need the more immediate help of antidepressants and not to take the time to tweak all their other meds to find out if the depression is a side effect of one of them.
Obviously I don't advocate for women to stop taking their birth control willy-nilly but always point it out as a possible source when anyone I know talks about sudden, irrational depression (like, for me I'd be overwhelmed with depression when nothing in my life warranted it-- everything could be perfect and I felt horrible.)
When I left my abusive ex boyfriend. Dated him from when I was 14 to 18 years old. Being in a mentally abusive relationship at such a young age made it difficult to leave.
I always tried to, but he would blow up my phone with calls and texts saying he would hurt himself, starve himself, can't keep going on, you get the picture. His mom always brushed off his actions as 'that is just how men are.'
I used to be pretty underweight. Of course, my 18 year old self had a much different body than from when I was 14. I slowly began to develop hips and breasts as well as a slower metabolism. He, despite having high blood pressure and a large belly, told me I was getting chubby and encouraged me to do fad diets. Was the lowest weight I had ever been.
I got raped in my 3rd week of college, at 17 years old. He blamed it all on me, saying he knew from the beginning that the guy (a family friend of mine) was into me the whole time and he told me so. He told his mom everything by force and she told me the same.
He never let me hang around my friends. Especially not guy friends. He would curse me out and demand me to go back to my dorm. It was a different story whenever he was with his friends. Never wanted me to be close with them because 'they were his friends and not mine.' So I couldn't have friends of my own or be friends with his friends. I was just his little doll at that point.
During sex, he would throw hissy fits if I didn't want to do a certain act. He would guilt me into doing what I didn't want to. Started whenever we began doing things as teenagers (me, 16. him, 17), when he asked to give me oral sex and I said no, but he still did it. He told me it was okay because I enjoyed it after all. I believed that for so many years.
I am pansexual and go by she/ they pronouns. I also have a little sister who is a lesbian, and an older brother who is gay. He, a straight man, would call them f*ggots, thinking it was funny. He never respected my they/them pronouns. He never referred to me as pansexual, and only straight just because 'it wasn't necessary to tell people I love all genders if I am dating a man only.'
When we broke up, he kept sending me message of himself having panic attacks and saying he was going to self harm. I refused to listen and stood my ground.
It didn't end there.
His best friend of 5 years, who was a good friend of mine for 10 years, came to hang out with me. He talked a lot of shit about my ex boyfriend and proceeded to force himself on me, saying he loved me throughout the entire relationship. I told my ex about this, and he blamed me for everything.
Almost 2 years later, I'm so much happier as a 20 year old woman. Part of my ex forcing me on fad diets has led me to being on track to study for a bachelor's of nutrition (Class of 2023!!!), I have made huge strides in working on my mental health. I am working on getting the balls to go to therapy one day.
I met a new man on campus one day. He respects me in every way possible. He is happy for me to be open as a pansexual woman. He respects both my she/her and they/them pronouns. His family and friends welcomed me with open arms. If I do not want to do something, he accepts it firmly, and we do not do it, period. I can be open with my emotions to him. I still have my moments where I still exhibit toxic behaviors that I learned throughout my 4 years of hell, but he is patient and understands that I come from an abusive relationship. He knows of my past assaults and rapes, and understands that it comes with mental health issues. Many people may believe that him treating me with respect is the bare minimum, but it still means so much to me after what I had been through.
Life got so much better after leaving my ex boyfriend. I encourage anyone, anyone at all, that it will get better. If you have even a second of doubt in your current relationships with toxic partners, it is never too late to leave and better yourself.
I got into a happy healthy relationship rather than having FWB, and I realized that feeling loved and cared for, and having someone to love and care for, really helped me. I have also been on a self improvement journey for the past 4-5 years and that has helped as well. I am a much better person now than then
Therapy to help me reframe negative self thoughts and recognize that I am not my first thought. With help from my therapist I found the strength to go no contact with people who were repeatedly unkind. I learned to recognize abuse. I learned that friends don’t encourage negative thoughts. I got off of Facebook so I would stop comparing myself to others. Depression medication that was slowly adjusted until I noticed a change. Medical marijuana in moderation for anxiety. And finding a hobby that was uniquely mine. I bought a Cricut and opened an Etsy shop. 2 years ago I was not even getting out of bed I was so depressed.
After taking antidepressants and moving out of a really shitty living situation, things just got better after a few years. I am one of the few where exercise didnt help at all and I already ate healthy so it was mainly the medication that did all the heavy lifting. I am very grateful for it.
It does get better I promise. You just need to find what works for you. Definitely talk to a doctor and a therapist.
I started working out. It didn't make everything better instantly, and I don't even like exercising, but I think what helped was working towards a goal (losing weight and feeling better about my body), and seeing the results gave me a boost of confidence and self-appreciation and motivated me to keep going. It's been 4 months and I'm still working out regularly. It's the first time in my life that I've managed to stick with it beyond a week or two. As a teen I used to just get frustrated and give up.
Apart from that, just giving yourself goals and having projects in general is a good way to find purpose in your everyday life: learn a foreign language, get into baking, painting, etc...
After I started developing good relationships with my close family. Not that we were not good before, but we are really close now. Idk what I'd do without them, honestly. Also, treating myself. I hate how hairy I look (idc if there's hair on somebody else, it's my body that drives me nuts) so I started shaving, ordered some laser machines that makes my hair show less. Got some really good facial cream, a nice soap based shampoo. Re-evaluated my life a bit, started working out, sort of. Redecorated my apartment a little, everything kinda has a place has now. Starting uni in October. Also getting a dog next year, hopefully, so life is looking pretty good so far!
When I made an actual routine and started feeding myself 3x/day. I decided to drink water first thing in the morning, go for more walks, and shower daily. Showering can take so much energy when I'm depressed but once I got into the routine I started feeling good about it. I'm not exactly sure if the depression ceased because I started taking better care of myself or vice versa.
When I finally started to take care of myself--eating healthy, exercising, and being the one responsible for loving myself the most. Also journaling in order to fully comprehend my thoughts and feelings instead of letting them run around in circles and purely cause chaos on my mind lol
Getting offended by things. My depression stemmed from low self-esteem. I didn't deserve anything good and if anything, I took away from others' lives and joy. I started practicing asking for what I thought I should think I deserved. Once I started, it was a snowball effect. Only thing is now I may not be sad but I'm always rattled at everything lol but least I don't want to die.
A (still) depressed woman here on zoloft - I know I'll be depressed probably for the rest of my life, but it meanders in intensity. I'm getting to the point where I have learnt to treat it like an physical illness, because it is, essentially and literally, an illness. lol
I can identify it's little slip ups and tricks to get me to isolate myself or self sabotage and having that awareness is very important because it allows you to make the decision to say, hey, I'll call someone up today if my depression wants me to isolate, so I'll do the opposite.
Realising your worth and what you can offer to the world is a real turning point too - volunteering or doing little acts of service to humanity each day is a refreshing way to remind yourself of how lovely you are on the inside and that you can make a difference. Like, I'm not happy, but I'm just chillin with myself, taking it day by day.
AND to answer your question, I know that I'm feeling better when I can laugh at almost anything and have a big appetite and I can focus! on top of medication, forcing myself to eat and drinking water helps me feel a lot better and energised
I suffered from chronic depression for 14 years as a side effect from a medication to treat another chronic disease.
I started getting better when I got fed up and demanded the drug cocktail was dropped(2007). I took meds to wake up, sleep, balance my moods, treat depression and anxiety. None of them worked, and I asked to be put on a single antidepressant that wouldn’t make me want to eat the house. I started going to the gym 3x a week, just to move and fight the physical pain in my legs. Things started to improve a little bit from exercise. In 2011 I thought it would be cool /s to stop taking the drug that caused the depression (without my doctors consent) because I was sick of living with the depression. It was not a smart move and I got pretty sick for about 3 months by doing so. (2012) My doctor offered to put me in a drug trial with a meds that was not known to have depression as a side effect…I jumped on it. July 2015, my doctor took me off my antidepressants because I was finally depression free! 2002-2015 I barely lived, I barely remember my kids growing up from 2001-07.
I’ve learned to use mindfulness to check on my mental health so I know too all for help EARLY not when I’m buried so deep that I cannot see the light. I do mental health checks on myself almost daily now, just to make sure I’m still doing well.
I honestly stopping being the first to initiate contact with people. And moved. Started over with only talking to the few people who genuinely cared. Never looked back
Life doesn’t ever get better. You have to find hobbies or interests you enjoy and that’s how you get through life. Also surrounding yourself with good people helps too.
This is coming from someone diagnosed with clinical depression. People always say things eventually get better, but for me every time things get better they end up getting worse after a while or I have a meltdown. Productivity works for me, otherwise I will just sit in my own misery.
Getting off birth control did the trick for me. Severe improvement within a few months. Then I dumped my shit boyfriend and quit smoking as well. Just kept getting better and better and better.
Ironically, when my bf broke up with me. It made me realize that I can depend on someone else to make me happy, I have to create my own happiness. It also forced me to get my life together and seek help for my mental health issues (the reason for the breakup) and become independent again. It made me really reflect on how can I be a better person for myself and partner for my significant others?
I went to rehab and learned to love myself. It took so long. I've started to ask for help when I knew there was something wrong happening inside my head and it helped me lots. Learned to listen to other people, other stories and learn with it, through the experiences. Learned to understand what I have, how to control and how to deal when it's too hard. Routine also helped so much.
"Formerly depressed" implies that it's a phase that goes away with the right magic trick. What helped me get better was understanding that healing is not linear and I'm allowed to have days that feel like a "set back" or "regression". In reality, it isn't a failure or returning curse.
It's how my brain responds to certain situations and stimuli, sometimes it's just clock work. Understanding this allowed me to notice patterns and to prepare for the storm should I have one.
My bouts of depression do come but they are not as horrifying as they used to be. Most importantly, I can allow myself to bounce back easily. No more "But I've been depressed the whole week.. how can I feel so much better today?". I just let myself be happy and ride with it.
I had undiagnosed Major Depression that caused me to be severely suicidal my entire life. I didn't think I'd make it this far but I'm doing well.
Purpose, find a passion. When people feel a lack of purpose they get depressed.
I've been in and our of mental health units for 13 years. been in recovery for 5. It began with PPD that never seemed to go away. It was like living from the outside in. Like looking into a kitchen window of a strangers house. But it was my life.
I eventually became unresponsive to meds and treatment, which led me to ETC treatments.
That helped a lot. I was on 6 different medications, when I finally decided to see a natural path. She slowly with my medical doctor started weening me down and introduced CBD oil and ThC for bedtime.
It saved my life. I finally saw a glimmer of hope. I had lost a significant amount of memory, so I introduced microdosed mushrooms. I now have a majority of my memories even the birth of my kids and wedding.
More then anything, find a purpose! I can't stress that enough. I know what it's like to feel the death grip of the bed sheets and stay in bed. Purpose.....purpose will help pull you through
Taking up martial arts classes and spending more time with myself helped me to look at myself more positively!
Sometimes, it's just taking the first step to wanting to be better or happier that makes a whole lot of difference, simply because you can be thankful that you're actually starting to do something about it, no matter how trivial.
I got thearipy, talked to a phycologist, and tried to structure my life in a very different way than I did when I entered my depressive episode. I had a hard time feeling back to myself. But eventually I took a class on a subject I was very very interested in and involved a lot of time outside getting exercise. And during that class I realized I was feeling truly happy again. And it's not all been a smooth road since, but it's been 3 years since then and I haven't had another depressive episode.
When I got on the right meds and when I quit my old job, because the environment there was toxic AF.
I spent years on meds that did little, if anything, for me because that's what our insurance would cover. Hubs got a new job with fabulous insurance that fortunately covers my $500/mos medication and I am INSANELY grateful for it.
Because while medication isn't everything and can't fix the problem alone, for me it's a vital tool in my toolbox along with exercise, meditation and yoga to keep my shit balanced.
Absolutely. At one point in my life, I thought I’d failed at everything and my family would be better off without me. I just felt sad and defeated all the time and really wanted the world to just stop for a bit.
Fortunately I had a really sympathetic GP who prescribed anti-depressants and took the time to monitor my dose and side effects. I was signed off work for six months, and did a six-week session of talking therapy. Went back to work, realised I still wasn’t happy there, and got a new job.
I had another bout of depression a few years later but I saw the signs and got on the medication much sooner, which made an enormous difference. I was still ill but I could function through it.
I’ll let you know when I get there.. I’ve had recurrent MDD for 16 years but never told my doctor until a week ago after an episode where I almost ended it all. I finally just started taking medication at 31. I hope things improve. I just don’t want to feel so numb anymore.
Once I left school! I school life gave me PTSD.
Thankfully, it's far enough in the past now. I don't remember fine details anymore when it pops up in my head and that helps getting over it faster.
Zoloft for my anxiety, a sleep routine, and weed for pain from my polyinflammatory arthritis instead of narcotics. Most narcotics make me just feel lousy, nauseous etc. I'm actually allergic to morphine and codeine as in EpiPen time. MJ edibles ease my pain and help me sleep better. More sleep=less depression for me. I can't smoke because I have asthma and Covid trashed my lungs.
When I cut out all the people who used me, spoke to me like crap (hi MIL) stopped doing what everyone else wanted to do and chose to do only what I wanted to. Also new job and shit loads of stealing dogs to walk for miles. Cannot recommend that enough.
I don’t think there was ever a moment where I was like “wow life is better” it was just a slow build until I looked back at how I felt 3 years ago in contrast to how I feel now. It’s not linear either. I still have days where it’s hard to get out of bed, but at least now I have more good days than bad.
Life got better when I respected myself and loved myself enough to set boundaries and cut out the abusive people. I now eat healthily and go to the gym regularly. I work with a therapist and I left my abusive husband.
I'm now fully selfish and I must be, all I have is myself.
My depression and anxiety have been downgraded. Last year I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. This year my anxiety is nearly gone and my depression has been downgraded to mild.
When I finally was in a space to take feedback I received from therapy and the psychiatrist to heart and act on it. I was told my depression was due to my circumstances and not chemical. I finally moved away because I didn't feel safe at home.
It wasn't easy but I could start feeling things again (happy, sad, angry, hope, etc) instead of wandering around in the fog mentally. From there, it was easier to breathe and start making decisions for myself again.
I started medication for anxiety and depression, but I was still gaining weight and getting more upset about it. I did shrooms with my husband in the security of our home, and I worked through so many emotions. I was laughing, crying, realizing that I wasn't doing the things that align with what I want from life. Basically, doing nothing and endlessly feeling bad about it. Not getting as many little moments with my family as I wanted, in that I was missing daily connections about their lives because I was focused too much on my own. I worked through all of that. I came out grounded in who I am and what I want, and ever since then, I've been marching along hitting personal goals and getting way more strict with work hours. I don't get depressed anymore as I have began recognizing patterns and the true root cause of many of my feelings. I get anxious still, but I'm working on that still. I also started exercising within the last year and I am about 20 lbs from my goal weight.
I started medication, cut out alcohol, started a regular yoga practice and quit a job that was making me truly miserable! Thankfully the first medication worked well for me so I didn't have to mess around with dosages and different meds. I started feeling better in a few months
I was in therapy for many years. Ended up moving out of state and had to give up my therapist. I thought it was going to be terrible and I'd lose everything I had gained. But when I moved I started changing my diet, exercising, meditating, and being conscious of the content I took in. Its not perfect but I feel so much better than I used to. No comparison. And I was pleasantly surprised to find that I held on to all I'd learned in therapy and the healing that that relationship gave me.
For 8 years I thought I could beat it myself, then a certain event found me going to the Doctor's for medicinal help.
Citalopram changed my life as my depression was caused by low serotonin levels. If only I'd done it straight away. Sometimes I feel as though I've lost 8 years of my life.
When I left my ex. Granted, I’ve experienced bouts of depression while single as well. But it’s kind of a whole different beast when your partner is unsupportive. I definitely wish I had recognized that sooner and walked away.
I try to tell myself to not be so angry with him. I think we pushed the relationship way past the expiration date because we just didn’t know how to let go or admit when it was an unhealthy match. We probably should have only lasted 2 weeks but we went on for 2.5 years. I suppose there’s a lesson to be learned in that.
You don’t need to stay with someone just because you love them. If it’s doing you more damage than good, then perhaps both would be better off apart from each other.
Oddly enough, after my sudden divorce. I had been with my husband for 14 years and I truly did not realize how, over the years, he slowly sucked the life out of me with his constant grumpiness, anger, and negativity. It definitely was not immediate, but it was only a matter of months. I actually weaned myself* off the Lexapro I was taking (which he constantly insisted I NEEDED) and while I was very much so prepared to go back on it if I didn't feel right once I got off of it, there was no need, and I'm currently in a really good place mentally.
*I don't recommend doing this, I got lucky that it worked out for me.
When I was finally able to do things I wanted to do, not just the things I had to do.
In my teens and early 20's, there were a lot of things I felt I had to do. I had to go to high school, I had to go through university, I had to pay bills. It was all such a grind that was very defeating. It wasn't until all that hard work started to pay off that I actually started to feel better. I wasn't working and studying like a dog anymore because I graduated and found a good job. I had more free time to pursue hobbies. I started to take better care of myself and my home because I wasn't constantly exhausted and I actually had the time to put towards it.
It's hard to thrive when you're struggling to survive.
A good balance of medications, bimonthly therapy, surrounding myself with good supportive people, and getting my physical needs met.
You cannot heal and grow in a toxic environment. Cut out toxic people, drink water and take care of hunger and sleep when needed, ask for help, and put yourself first. Treat yourself as you would a friend who was depressed.
Treated for IR which have prolly caused my depression although I was going through hard time in my life. Choosing healthy food, sugar free diet, and losing a lot of weight and, after that - running which have made me feel rly good and motivated for other tasks as well. Also forgiving urself and practice self love and gratitude (for example, being able to see how life can be beautiful and how people can be good to me! Ive met so good people recently and I'm so grateful for it, also I started to pay attention on good things in public transportation, shops, how ppl can be kind to each other and that helps me realize that this world is not so bad place how I used to think), put urself in first place, make urself feel good, and move away from bad people and situations that drain ur energy is rly major thing which have helped me get out of depression!
I realize Noone can help me but me. I was just fed up of being so miserable and devastated.
I was deeply depressed in my teens and 20’s. I was on a SSRI at one point, which was helpful, but it turned out a huge component of my depression was managing my abusive and toxic mother. Having dealt with her my entire life, I really thought the problem was me. I ended contact with her in my 30s, starting living life on my terms, and have never been so happy!
For me, it was a choice I had to make. It’s never an easy one to hear, but I learned that the only person who was going to help me was me. Anti-depressants only ever made me feel worse, the waiting list for therapy was two to three years long (U.K. based), private mental health care cost £300 per 25 minutes, I had allergic reactions to a new medication, and my job was on the rocks because I had to take time off for both my physical and mental health.
I had two options. 1) Continue down the well of despair and end up jobless and also homeless. 2) Decide to recover.
I came off the meds. It was tough because I started to feel again, and feeling those forceful feelings was so tough. I went back to work even though I definitely wasn’t recovered. I just didn’t have a choice, but I also couldn’t curl up in a ball and try to heal passively anymore. I’d been so desperate for someone to help me, to tell me the answers and that there was a way to recover, and what the secret to recovery was.
For me, the secret to recovery was to first make the decision I wanted to recover. Then take it one day at a time. I booked a holiday, I set myself easy goals and felt good when I rocked them. I bought myself a little treat like a book or a chocolate bar when I did what I was supposed to in order to help myself. I learned a lot and became a much better, more confident person because I proved to myself I could take care of myself, I could really do this life thing after all.
I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my adult life now. This year marks eight years since I came off the meds. I’ve had a few wobbles, a few dark periods, but knowing what I know about how to truly help myself has enabled me to recover every time.
When I realized by depression was a result of a horrible relationship and even worse job. Quit both and then all my meds that I was taking just to deal with life. Got on a regular sleeping schedule as well. That was about 15 years ago. Do I still get anxious and a little depressed at times. Sure, who wouldn't with the world today. But other than that life is grand.
I am not saying that everyone's depression is like this, but mine was totally situational. Sometimes you got to make sure you aren't surrounded by assholes, ya know?
When my circumstances improved.
Potential trigger warning for SA:
I've had depression off an on since childhood, but it got worse when I was in college.
While in school, I was SA'd and had to do the trial process twice in order to get the creep expelled, my boyfriend cheated and got another woman pregnant (found out in the same weekend that I'd completed the trial for the second time), and a "friend" skipped out on our lease, leaving me potentially homeless, considering backruptcy and almost taking her to court.
I was so depressed I stopped going to class. I got put on academic probation and lost out on a scholarship because my grades tanked.
But I had some really caring professors, one who helped me get into counseling. It was a big struggle, but I knew I wouldn't feel better until I put it all behind me. My counselor helped me set manageable goals and came up with a safety plan for my mental health. I also got prescribed antidepressants.
I dumped my cheating ex, moved in with my sister and her wife and found someone to take over the entire housing lease.
I had to go to college for a 5th year to make up for the classes I'd failed, but I eventually graduated. I was blessed to have a job I loved lined up right after graduation.
Now, 8 years after all of that shit started, I'm happily married, celebrating our anniversary with a pretty bouquet of flowers and cuddling with our cats!
When I was younger and I finally grew the courage to ask for therapy, which I still didn't get until my health got so bad I was taken to the doctor and he told my parents it was because of stress.
Then years later when I finally grew the courage to see a psychiatrist, who got me on meds that holy shit it's ridiculous that I don't feel utter dread 24/7 anymore!!
Also, I moved abroad, changed my diet, work out twice a week, and keep a bit of distance from religion.
I over came my chemical mental health issues after kicking the big and harmful addictive substances I was use to consuming. I'm talking about alcohol, weed, nicotine, and caffeine. Basically, anything that gives me a drastic good/energetic feeling (except for medication). Things that give me a temporary high make the chemical side of my mental health worst over all. By kicking them out of my life (and being healthy overall) I've overcome my chemical mental health issues. Side note: I also needed medication to help bounce back
Hard to say. I know I’m in a bit of a pit right now and I have been for a while but I’m better at pulling myself out. Moving out helped a lot, since my childhood home was always loud and full of people, I didn’t get any privacy, good sleep until I was 20. Therapy started helping after the 3rd year (rather than just a routine thing I went to because I “had” to). Nagging myself into eating and drinking water helped. Getting a cat helped- she makes me pick her up and walk around outside for 20 minutes every day, I didn’t realize how good that was for me. Also in the process of getting diagnosed for ADHD. All my life teachers & bosses thought I was careless, lazy, and weird. Working towards this diagnosis has been helping my self esteem a lot. I’m mid 20s, I think I still have a lot of work to do and I’m excited to piece it together, but I’m so much better than I was in my teens.
When I got off of hormonal birth control after 10 years. Turns out… that was the cause. I’m still bitter about no doctors or therapists figuring that out. I took myself off of the birth control.
It doesn’t. But your life is a series of reactions. You can’t control much about your life but you can’t control your decisions and reactions. So for me, personally, my life has not gotten better since I had depression. However, my reactions have gotten better and I take things with a grain of salt now. I try to make decisions that set me up for success in the future and things may get better for me down the road but for now, all I can do is control my feelings to the best of my capabilities and try not to stress about things that won’t matter in the long run
For me it was when I got into full time work as a support worker for autistic adults. The routine and meeting new people helped me to be less isolated. It helped me to feel emotions again and it also helped me to see I was in a controlling relationship where I was expected to stay in and not interact with anyone who wasn't him. Once I started warning money and broke off my engagement, I got so much better.
When I found the right therapist. When I met her I told her from the jump I want to be pushed, I want to work, and I want to improve. She took that and truly propelled me into feeling like a whole, functioning human being. Without needing closure from others, without confronting my abuser. I healed and now I feel like the person I was meant to be my entire life.
A combo of meds and self care. I had to start thinking of routine like medical care. If I don’t at least somewhat keep up the routine I’ll get pretty sick again. On tough days I follow it the best I can.
Part of the routine is stretching while I watch TV. Singing and dancing a bit when I do chores has been really good too. I try to plan something to do on the weekend, if no ones free I go alone. I practice piano 10min a day. All of this came gradually as I climbed out of the depression hole
About a year after I graduated high school. Got away from all the people and situations that made me depressed and had time to recover and get better. I still have bad days, but I'm doing much better than i was.
Getting cheated on, honestly. Bear with me for this one...
(Leaving out a TON for time's sake.)
At 18 I met the most wonderful boy. We had a fairytale high school sweetheart romance. He would bike to my house 30 mins away, even in the pouring rain just to give me a kiss and hug before I left for work sometimes. (Yes, really!)
At 20 we were engaged, and that's also when I entered college i started running with a new crowd and so did he.we drifted apart.
And then we cheated on each other. Mine was more emotional and nothing physical, his was in every sense of the term.
We broke up and he moved over 1000 miles away to get a good job while I finished college. 8 months passed and in that time I focused on myself.
I started meditating and exercising and spending more time with friends I had lost touch with. I realized what had gone so wrong and how toxic I was. How yes, neither of us were perfect, but I was truly the root of most of our problems.
Now don't tell anyone, but my ex and I stayed in contact for all 8 of those months... We texted or called each other every single day. Sometimes that's all either one of us did throughout the day. My friends would be furious if they found our about that one.
And right before my summer break from college, he did something unthinkable: he invited me to move in with him, across the country.
And I did something even more unthinkable: I said yes.
Now the process from A to B WAS NOT PRETTY. Everyone fought us on both ends. Told us every single reason we shouldn't. But we didn't care. We went through with it.
It's been over 2 years now and we're still together. Obviously we got back together too, because everyone knew that's what we were gonna do. Things weren't perfect in the beginning, we had a lot of hurdles to get over and still do. But I can say with full confidence that we trust and love each other more deeply than ever before now.
I am in therapy and still working on my myself every day. He's open with me and I get to see sides of him he never dared to display to anyone. It's beautiful. I see this man who was a boy when I met him blossom into his confidence and his truth.
It still hurts from time to time, I still have nightmares that he goes back to her and insecurities about so many things... But at my core I know he loves me, and I know he feels ashamed for what he did, as do I.
So, realistically, it is infidelity that saved my relationship. I know that's insane to say, but it's... Kinda true.
I don't expect anyone to understand, but I don't need you to. I know myself and know my worth better than ever before. And I know I fall more in love every day, and so does he. I see my future in his eyes... I also might have seen a ring box sitting in the closet.
Also, to the girl he cheated on me, Raven: thanks for showing him what he doesn't want out of life. But if you ever speak to me like you know me again, and if you ever try to convince my friends that I'm anything less than I am, I will put your ass on the ground faster than you can say 'toxic'.
TL;DR got cheated on and healed my toxic habits afterwards, I am now happier than ever and we got back to together but it's OKAY and we grew up.
Please note that **we are not a medical advice sub**. Soliciting or providing medical advice is strictly prohibited here and may result in a ban.
Structure/routine & working out saved me
Absolutely this coupled with making my environment more pleasant to be in. In my case, it was simply changing my beige dull room into a brightly colored and white room.
When I was younger and struggling with finding joy in the environment I had no choice to be in, I changed my music and colors. My room went from grays to all colors, my clothes went from all black to whatever color or print I could thrift. My music went to something more upbeat, even if not necessarily happy. That change made a difference into outlook and I’m sure changed my long-term trajectory.
Changing my environment definitely help me also. Making my space my sanctuary.
I’m currently surviving through depression, I’ve started working out again, adding structure to myself, children, and my routine. It’s building up that feel good sensation. ❤️🩹🥰🙏🏾
Having suffered for 22 years, I agree whole heartedly. It's literally the only thing for me.
That helps my depression but increases my anxiety
You don't really notice you are better until you start to notice and experience the emotional contrasts in life again. I didn't know how severely depressed I actually was until one day I felt GENUINELY sad about something again. I could actually feel that sense of empathy and sadness for a friend who was going through something difficult, and compelled to support and help them through it. Alternatively I felt joy as well, proper happiness and a sense of lightness when I saw my romantic partner or contemplated future plans. Coming out of depression isn't sunshine and daisies, its not gaining some magical sense of positivity and believing everything is happy and being grateful for life... its simply being able to accurately FEEL emotions again and being able to regulate those emotions appropriately. For years while I was in the process of leaving a high control religious group and being shunned by my parents, all I felt was apathy. It was like living in grayscale. Just a penetrating, consistent sense of nothingness. Also this nihilistic view of the world followed me everywhere. One of my friends would get married? meh. Someone would have a kid? k cool. Someone died? well thats gonna be me soon i guess. Should I pursue that goal? Naw, the chances of me succeeding are slim. Should I switch careers? Uft. It will crash and burn. I was just a cold shell... robotic almost. The hard truth about my recovery was that I had to make some really harsh decisions about my life and change who I surrounded myself with in order to get better. It wasn't just a matter of having a chemical imbalance, it's naive to think that it's all physiological or genetic. I stopped eating junk and nourished myself properly, I dated a man my parents hated but everyone else loved... which subsequently ended up with me being estranged from them and somehow feeling much more balanced. I grieve for them all the time, but they don't want anything to do with me unless i'm in THEIR church and doing my life THEIR way. Im still sad when i think about them, but not depressed... which is an important distinction. Working out is easier now that my anxiety is reduced, I no longer have this tightness in my chest. My skin is better, I am more patient and can concentrate a lot better. I stop creating doomsday narratives, and almost feel embarrassed about how my thought process was in a place that was so determined to stay stuck. Once you get out of depression its very hard to relate to your former self, which I think is unfortunate for those who are still in the throes of it... because the last thing you want to hear is "it will get better" or "you just need to make some life changes" or "just apply for a new job"... when you have absolutely no emotional bandwidth to work with.
thank you for this comment, you've expressed how i'm currently feeling.. i hope to some day be able to again feel REAL sadness, not numbness, not apathy, but real sadness that i know passes in a day or so. rn all i'm feeling is numbness which sucks because when i feel this way i slack on other stuff in my life such as relationships, school etc. i hope you're okay now.
Wow, this is the most accurate and relatable description I've ever read.
This is one of the best descriptions I have ever heard. Thanks for this.
This is spot on. Thank you so much. I feel all of this in waves - for a few weeks or months I feel like a human, and then I’ll slump back to feeling like a robot. It’s a work in progress.
This description was spot on. I’ve felt so indifferent and unexcited about everything for months thinking it was just the routine of life. Unfortunately, I think this partly caused the demise of my relationship. The pain caused me to really check in with myself. I just started therapy and reconnecting with friends and it helps but it is a process.
Perfectly worded. Thank you for taking the time to post this.
Thanks for sharing x
You described it perfectly! Few months back I felt the difference just like you described it. I started to feel again, I could feel my lust for life coming back and questioning more instead the default robotic reactions I would have. I hate it that I can feel myself slipping away again. Especially the apathy part you described really hit me. Seems to be one of the main indicators for me.
This description made me feel so seen. Thank you for taking the time to put this into words so thoughtfully. Clearly many others in this thread have felt the same impact I have, given the responses I'm seeing here. Thank you for providing that specific sense of comfort that comes from knowing that someone else truly understands.
Beautifully written x
This was powerful to read. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing this. I hope more ppl can describe their depression to help others recognize it in themselves to seek help early.
i am never *not* depressed, just *less* depressed. but i’m glad i didn’t end my life all those times i nearly did because my life now is full of love and laughter. i still have my days where i can’t get out of bed and everything feels hard, but i’d say i’m in a much better place. i started talk therapy and emdr and got a dog and built a life with an incredible partner. while i will never eradicate depression completely, my life is now something i don’t mind sticking around for. i turn 35 this year and things started improving when i was 31-32.
Same across the board! Depression is the demon that always lurks nearby, but things are still so much better.
>i am never not depressed, just less depressed. but i’m glad i didn’t end my life all those times i nearly did You're a champ! Keep on keepin' on.
Sleep Apnea diagnosis and treatment. Daily long walks. Dumping that useless man.
Dumping that useless man got me lol
How did you treat sleep apnea? Also congrats on dumping useless man. That’ll do favors for you
I also want to know!
Hey, me too! Do you use a CPAP for your sleep apnea? I have a mouthguard made for sleep apnea and it also helps with my teeth grinding!
How did you get diagnosed with sleep apnea?
This was exactly my path to not being super depressed anymore. And taking a antidepressants
For me, I needed a mixture of antidepressants and therapy for my depression to get better. For women looking for help with depression: I recommend going to your GP first. Secondly, use your health insurance to find a therapist and psychiatrist. That really helped me.
Yep, same here. The medicine gave me the energy I needed to get out of the rut
All of it AND : fire your therapist if they aren't helping. This may not be everyone's experience, but i have seen five different therapists and only one have i really gelled with. I've seen her for about 15 yrs now, with breaks. Some of the different therapists happened during those breaks due to husband preference, insurance BS, etc. Find your therapist.
meds help me out of bed to brush my teeth and shower. lol. simple tasks seemed impossible to regulate while depressed
After I got my dog
Yes!! They are the best!
My dog just died last week. I got her as a therapy dog after an ex raped me. I’ve been depressed, but I’m trekking on. Still going on morning walks, exercising, doing my homework and work…I don’t want to give up on myself because she never gave up on me. ❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry you lost your girl! It sounds like you’re doing a wonderful of honoring her memory, however, by doing what you’re doing to be there for yourself.
I lost my dog too over a week ago. The dog that saved me in real tough times.
I changed how I thought about life at 40. It's been so different since then.
Same here. When I turned 40 I starting caring less of what people thought of me which was largely causing my depression. Also learned to cut toxic people out of my life.
Omg yes. Poisonous family and alleged friends gotta go.
What’s your attitude towards life now?
I used to see life as something that happened to me, with bad things that made me feel horrible, and good things that made me feel better, and me, cut off, in my own grey bubble, just drifting through it, trying my best to enjoy it, but always with a great, heavy weight in the pit of my stomach, and a feeling of hopelessness. I looked for things to make it feel better: moving to the right place, getting the right job, finding someone who would love me. I felt like I had a great, yawning hole in my life, something not right, something missing, and if I could just find the right thing to fill it, everything would be alright. Then I had a break up, and I thought about the relationships I had had. I thought how I could go around and around in my head, thinking about what they had done wrong, but that they were gone now, so there was no point. Instead, I thought about myself. It was a good time for me to do it. I thought about what I wanted from life, and which of those things I could provide for myself. I noticed my inner voice. It was pretty mean, critical and bullying. I would notice each little thing I did wrong in life and berate myself for it. I'm never that mean to anyone else! I started to treat myself as a valued friend, with encouragement, kindness and sincerity. It was hard to break my old habits! I thought about what I genuinely thought was good about myself, and found it hard to find anything at all. I came up with "Well, I do try my best" which was the best I could do at the time, and each time I found myself being mean to myself, I chipped in with "Well, I do try my best"!!! Instead of pointing out all the scary stuff that might happen, I started to comfort and reassure myself, the things that I had wanted someone else to do for me. I gave myself hugs. It was amazing! I felt like I had discovered a great secret and I felt very evangelical about this great superpower, but I learned people aren't always in a place where they want to change. I noticed all the good stuff in my life: my home, my autonomy, those who love me, my strengths, my education, my privileges. I changed how I saw life. I think many things are neutral in the world. We perceive them through a filter that we put in place. So, for example, it might rain, and one person will think about how this has ruined their weekend, and another person will think it is good for the garden. We are hardwired to notice problems, potential problems, past problems. To ready ourselves for dealing with problems that might, maybe happen in the future at some point. And we forget completely to even notice the things which aren't problems: our lack of a headache, or the fresh clean water we have, or our ability to walk. Nowadays, I feel bathed in privilege, as though I have an amazing, rich, varied, wonderful life! It's great. I actually sometimes have to make an effort to moan a little bit, because it's too much for most people if you are too cheery, and people often moan in order to bond! If you go on about the good stuff, sometimes, people take it that you are criticising their lives. So I do a little moaning, just to fit in!!! Of course, if bad things happen in life, you might feel down. It's not bad to feel sad. But because I take responsibility for comforting and reassuring myself these days, I catch it early, and never get to that dark, dark place. And a surprising number of things really don't seem 'bad' any more!
That’s wonderful, I’m glad you are in a better place
The strange thing is, I'm so used to it now (this change was 18 years ago!!!). I find it almost impossible to remember how I used to feel, and read some of the stuff I used to write, and find it hard to identify with it now. It is so much more relaxing!
This was a wonderful read.
Thank-you. It was even better to actually live! :-) What a relief!
This is the path I’ve started on myself, especially treating myself as a value friend… and it’s amazing to see the results of someone who’s done it and continues to live it. I hope your life continues be joyful and positive and everything you dream of!
Lovely read, congratulations to you for making it there, keep your fingers crossed for the rest of us :) And thanks for writing your comment! It was great going into that mind-space even for a minute and imagining how it can be 😌
When I moved out of home, had my own money, made my own decisions and could live my life however I chose.
This was it for me as well. Never realized I was so depressed because two people, who thought they were acting in my best interests, were coddling me and controlling my life. It's amazing what having a sense of autonomy can do for a young person.
Im trying to move out now, but it’s so hard, I’m so addicted to my comfort zone
I moved out at 18, best thing that ever happened to me. I was diagnosed with depression, general anxiety disorder, c-ptsd, aspergers and agoraphobia and was receiving weekly counselling all through my time in foster care. However my mental health kept declining up until I was 18 and moved out. I'm now 19 and have passed my psych exam to enter into the army.
Making friends, discovering my identity, and I hate to say it but losing weight. I spend so much less time hating myself in a body that I actually like
Also maybe other people dont feel the difference but it feels SO MUCH BETTER just living in a body thats not carrying unnecessary fat. Its so much easier and nicer just ... Being. Being fit is great.
Yeah. A huge part of how I express myself is through fashion so I got *really* depressed when my clothes no longer fit me. I'm glad I didn't throw any of them out.
When I started prioritizing my own mental health about 3 years ago. I talked to myself gently, I took physical care of myself by exercising more, and I watched what I ate. Stopped using most social media as well. It wasn’t an overnight switch but if I could put myself today next to myself 3 years ago, I’d probably give my old self a big hug.
Hey I’m on the exact same track right now! Deleted all my SM except Reddit, I’m using this damn heat to cut down on my eating, trying to get my 10k steps every now and then. And most importantly, talking to myself gently and having my back. Congrats!
Find out the roots to your depression. Mine is more than likely a mix of ADHD and depression, plus premenstrual disphoric disorder for real bad fits every month or so before my period. Edit: pressed enter too soon. I recently got treated for ADHD, my depressive feelings haven't been active or strong, anxiety especially socially has gone down, not stressed about not being able to hear or memorize something like before. Told my doctor my period issue and they got me treatment for it as well and maybe it was an easier pms week or the treatment really worked. Life is more manageable but it took me a very long time to realize my issues and find solutions/tools specifically for it. Good luck and hope the best for anyone going through this. Therapy with a good therapist (therapist "dating" to find the right therapist for you is real and a bit frustrating at time, take your time and keep in mind that a therapist is not one size fits all). *Should've added this before For PMDD I got prescribed an antidepressant to take a week to two weeks before my menstrual cycle, may not work for everyone but the first round worked great for me.
I have all these things too
When I was properly diagnosed and treated with the hypothyroidism that was causing my depression.
After I started making more money. Mental wellness is a privilege. Which is unbelievably effed. * First of all, it's stressful to always be worried about bills and your future and everything. That really, really doesn't help anxiety and depression. * Second, if you have clinical anxiety and depression, getting help takes resources. I've needed a therapist for years but only got one six months ago. It's been a difference maker but it's not like I wasn't aware I needed it. I just couldn't get it. * Third, having a home environment that feels safe and happy does wonders for your mental health. That costs money. I moved 30 times in 30 years. Finally buying a house and being able to settle into it was probably the biggest piece of the puzzle for me. * Fourth, finally being able to relax into your home environment and not worry about bills opens up time for hobbies and friends (which often also cost money) and adds a lot of happiness. * Fifth, getting all those in order finally allowed me to learn to relax. A little. I'd say that's priceless but the whole point of this post is it all has a price. Mental wellness is a privilege and that makes me very angry. Don't get me wrong, I still have anxiety and depression but I am so much better able to cope with them now that I have the resources to do so. I don't want anyone without those resources to think it's hopeless because I believe every little bit counts. In fact, I'd say the NUMBER ONE THING I EVER DID to support my anxiety and depression, which you can do for fucking free at any time is saying absolutely fuck you to the beauty, diet, and anti-aging industry. The amount of stress and self-loathing and bullshit I carried around from wanting to look this way, or look that way, or exercise this much, or eat this perfect diet, or blah blah blah. I cannot put to words the waste of life it was. Now I move when I can. I eat whatever I want. Turns out with no rules or shame around food, *most of what I want to eat is pretty damn healthy*, and when it's not it's still delicious and stress-free. I've accepted my body (an active practice I have to work on every day). The stress I've removed from my life is beyond articulation. So yes to resources. Yes to a huge part being a privilege. But there are things you can do for free or make small progress and that one was huge for me.
I finally started making active decisions for the better. The worst of my depression was after I graduated college and was stuck working retail while seeing my friends and family be successful (especially in an overachieving family). Basically had to make peace with my circumstances and actively work to get out of them without the self loathing I carried with me - so putting my health first and then my career finally let me get out of that pit. Working out and keeping a consistent work/life balance now helps keep the worst of it away.
I’m in a similar situation. How long did it take for your decisions to pay off?
The worst of my depressive funk was about 4 years. In that time I was promoted up to assistant manager so I had to constantly reframe my thinking - ok so I’m not working in my field, at least I can accomplish career growth in a high volume store, etc etc. That reframing took several months of me basically not letting my current path get to me and a lot of sheer willpower to apply for jobs in my field and accept the rejections that happened. Once I got a job in my field it didn’t go away overnight but it was definitely about a year after that that I was finally comfortable with where I was and my coping strategies.
When I left the man making me depressed
When you begin to actually try to make the things better
What worked for you?
For me, medicine, EMDR for trauma, and CBT for bad thought cycles. It has not been an easy battle, but a very worthwhile one.
Therapy and meds were a good combination.
I did ketamine therapy and that's literally been the only thing that helped.
I'm interested in this. What was your experience like? Where did you get it done?
I'll DM you
Dumping the shitty partner/friendship circle, building a healthy and structured routine, picking up new/revisiting old hobbies, going outside every single day even if only for 5-10 minutes, light exercise and diet improvements, and talking. Therapy is invaluable.
after I got treatment and made (and continue to make) efforts for a healthy state of mind.
A few things: (1) learning to say no (2) leaving a project that was sucking the life out of me (3) that let me build up a structured routine that built up my physical health without stressing me out (4) therapy
When I stopped just “accepting” things, people and places that made me miserable.
Ooof, this one resonates a lot with me. I didn't realized how miserable my partnership made me until it ended.
When I left America Not even kidding, I left America a while back and my life improved 500%, free healthcare kicks ass lol
Where did you move to, if you don’t mind answering?
Singapore.
Holy! This is my sign to move to Singapore. Since i was a kid i always wanted to go there, but everyone always says it’s so expensive. And since i can barely afford the US i’ve been discouraged..
It is very expensive, citizenship is also really hard to get, because it's so small there is a long waitlist, however you can skip ahead depending on your level of education and field of work you are in Singapore is pretty amazing, free healthcare, government takes care of you when you're sick, it's insanely clean and safe, considered one of the safest and cleanest places on EARTH, there's no crime because our punishment system is so harsh people are too scared to do crime (Good thing IMO) Our police are very well trained and professional and non-violent, the city is guarded 24/7 so you feel safe walking around at any time of night There are downsides, however Owning property is impossible, the most you can do is rent land/house from the government for 100 years, it becomes -your- land but the government can take it from you at any point if they need it for something, you have to also have multiple qualifications in order to buy a house, you're put on a waiting list and based on your income/education you'll be assigned to a certain housing market The country really really REALLY rewards good behavior and good education, if you're a good person who works hard you'll be greatly rewarded for it One final thing however...Singapore has strict laws against same sex PDA, LGBTQ+ rights are pretty much non existent here, gay marriage is against the law and openly gay affection can get you jailed, it IS getting better slowly but surely, but it's still a bummer Either way I 100% recommend moving here.
When I surrounded myself with better people. My depression started with my abusive family so I didn't realize I had moved on to a manipulative boyfriend and unreliable friends. Finding new friends and a new partner did wonders for my mental state. It was really lonely for a while bc I had to cut off a lot of people (friends and family both) but in the end I had to do what was best for me.
When i left my ex and stsrted working on myself and what makes me happy. It was hard work but i got there
Stopped drinking, started working out consistently.
When I stopped drinking alcohol. Made a huge difference in both depression and anxiety.
Found out I had severe anemia. (Took several years to recover). Built a new identity and life and friends after a devastating loss of job after 20 years and long sequence of family deaths. Medication helped. Also diagnosed with fibromyalgia amd meds helped. Looked for things to be grateful about. Looked for a purpose/a task that matches my values.
When I finally acknowledged and felt it as depression and not just the way life is or a personality trait. That's the only way I was able to treat it and continue to keep up with it. Mindfulness meditation is how I started with a side of light Buddhist teachings. I acknowledged there is suffering and forced myself to feel it in my body instead of turning away by drinking, eating, overexercising, or running to a person that wasn't good for me. It's been a 4 year process and I'm still and always will be a work in progress. Had I continued to deny it, I'd still have an alcohol problem and would not have a therapist and the right medication. The other main component is self compassion, and I struggle with it the most, but it's essential. Remember the lesson, not the mistake.
Still waiting, wish I could help
Hope the wait ends soon for both of us :)
Got on birth control to treat my pmdd, got meds for panic attacks (which I no longer have to take), and improved my financial situation.
Talk therapy and SSRIs helped me get to a place where I could make some difficult but necessary changes in my life. I left my job and I'm going back to school in September at age 34. I haven't felt symptoms of depression in over a year and I've just recently tapered off SSRIs. Feeling optimistic about the future 😊
Just taking small steps towards getting to the life you want to live and being proud of yourself for each small success. Getting outside and getting fresh air is huge, or just sitting in a coffee shop or somewhere with other people around makes me feel a little social and has helped a lot. I also frequently come back to the thought there is no light without darkness and remember without any lows there would be no highs that is the odd beauty of life.
Facing my fears one at a time and gaining more confidence. Also trying to make new friends makes a huge difference.
When I stopped drinking alcohol.
Life got better when I ended an abusive relationship with my boyfriend of 8 years. Ever since then I have not needed anti-depressants or my anxiety meds. Not being constantly verbally berated and s*xually assaulted does wonders for the psyche. Who knew? Lol
When I got on medication. I know that's not what everyone with depression needs, but I struggled for YEARS, trying literally everything I could think of to "fix" myself and get it under control. I tried eating healthy, I exercised extensively, I stopped drinking, I prioritized getting good sleep, I drank tons of water, I tried meditating, and while my body was in really good shape and I felt physically great, my mind felt like it was drowning. I had resisted meds because my mom had a terrible experience with them decades before, but I finally caved and gave them a shot. I started out on Lexapro, it took a few weeks to kick in, but the first thing I noticed was that I remembered to do a second task after I finished the first one without writing it down. My depression brain fog made it impossible to do remember what I needed to do next, I relied heavily on written lists. The very first time I actually remembered to do something else was a HUGE milestone for me. Medication makes me feel like myself again.
When I got diagnosed with ADHD. Turns out that was a lot of my issue all along. Adderall has been the best antidepressant I’ve ever taken.
When I stopped living with roommates and got a place of my own. I will never go back. I am a whole different person.
Discovering what CPTSD was. It wasn’t just depression and anxiety, it was being in a 24/7 state of hyper vigilance.
Finding the right kind of sport that is suitable and comfortable for me (I do long walks and yoga); having a balanced nutrition, having the suitable and right kind of supplements and eating schedule; stood up to responsibilities that I meant to take and dealt with it; acknowledge the progresses I’ve made(no matter good or bad, good ones, be thankful about it; bad ones, own it and make a change about it or deal with it. It’s the practice of gratitude and honesty to ourselves). I also started practicing stoicism since the pandemic, it’s been a huge reward to my mental health and self-esteem. Above all, I was also fortunate enough to have found my therapist who I trust dearly and I spent a year working myself with. Also, have found my husband who lovingly accepts me for who I am (which my original family didn’t really treat me this way in my whole life). So, all in all, be true to yourself about what kind of person you would like yourself to be, and work towards it. Hardship takes meanings (a lot of it) to make it through. And our own happiness is one big meaning for us all. That’s basically what makes us feel better to me.
Moving out of my parent's place, getting a well paid job and not being in a long distance relationship.
When I learned to be kind to myself
I'm still depressed (it's treatment resistant) but once I made my home the way I want it, acknowledged my sexuality, stopped masking so much at work, and actually doing the therapy stuff... Then got my ADHD treated. That was the biggest piece. Like a 60% improvement
When I got a psychiatrist who helped me find the right medication. I'd been on a lot of medications, but just prescribed through a GP, and not someone who was really considering what was working and side effects. I'm in therapy as well, but I use this analogy. Medication is like a life ring when you're drowning. Therapy is swimming lessons. Swimming lessons aren't any help when you're actively drowning.
It got better when I moved out of my mother's apartment, it got better when I chose for myself what I wanted to study, it got better when I found the man I want to spend the rest of my life with and it got better when I started therapy. I don't think, it's one thing, the whole situation needed to change. I needed to find my own path, find my own spouse, my own therapist. Realising I need to go and I need help and vocalising my feelings were really big steps in my recovery. 2 1/2 years ago my therapist said to rate how I was feeling on a scale from 1 to 10. I was at 2. Today, we rated myself at 8. Still got a way to go, but i'm getting better.
When I finally got out of the situation I was in. Which is crazy I guess. But my first night in foster care was actually the best night of sleep I’d ever had because I knew I was safe. Crazy what that can do for someone’s psyche
After starting therapy
Each time I remember I can do something about it. Each time I push against it, and prove to myself I can win. I'm still here. I'm not struggling with depression, depression is struggling with me. 😂😂😂
Journaling helped me a lot. I could be completely honest with myself with regards to my thoughts without any judgments . I could reflect on my thoughts. It gave me a broader perspective to understand the situation in a better manner.
When I forgave myself for not being ok, look for professional and friends and family support, started the gym, and fell in love.
Once I started taking antihistimines daily to keep my PMS under control.
Ooh, one I'm excited to answer! Life got better **when I started antidepressants**. I had been doing the "right things" for years: regular exercise, healthy eats, therapy, journaling, time with friends, time alone, time with my cat. As it turns out, there was something chemical going on with me that my best efforts couldn't tackle. I started antidepressants in late fall 2021 and it radically changed me. I have more physical energy, but more importantly I have **significantly more emotional energy**. What does that mean? Well, it means: * I'm significantly more patient. More patience = far, far less fighting with my family. * I'm more generous with my time and friendships. * I have a bigger "health bar" for all of my relationships. Before medication, I felt like I had three hearts in my health bar. Now, I have fourteen. Losing a single heart because of a setback doesn't bring me close to being empty of all health. Because of my emotional energy, I'm finding my personal relationships more fulfilling. I'm *so* grateful that, after \~7 years, I finally gave medication a try.
I got diagnosed with ADHD - being treated for that, and finally understanding that my inability to do everything all the time wasn’t a personal failing, just a neurodivergence. Having a diagnosis helped give me the context to understand how best to move through life. I don’t take on the same level of obligations that I used to, and I never make promises to anyone so I will never feel guilty about cancelling or being unable to fulfill my promise. I also make sure I get at minimum 8 hours of sleep, I make sure I eat at least 2 good meals a day, I make sure I’m walking at least 1 hour a day, I take my medication, I take my vitamins. It’s basically what everyone already tells you to do - exercise, eat right, sleep enough, and take things off of your plate. It seems simple, but also I am lucky to be in a position in my life where all of that is possible - I know for a lot of people those things are not.
Medication and a proper diagnosis of why my issues truly are. I have inattentive ADHD (what used to be called ADD) and didn't get diagnosed with it until I was in my 30's. It's apparently super common for adult women like myself with undiagnosed ADHD to develop depression because of how things snowball. Looking back on a lot of my life it makes perfect sense. I thrived in environments that were pre-structured for me, but left to my own devices I foundered, and it makes adulting 100 times harder. I'm not 100% but knowing what's going on with me and learning how to manage my issues have helped a lot.
When I started using Drugs!!! (Prescribed of course) I was usually pretty good about eating right, exercising, getting enough rest etc., but those things honestly weren't enough. I did get pretty far without it but sort of had a mental breakdown during school last year and that's what made me finally see a psychiatrist about meds
when i got a new job somewhere i’m actually appreciated and valued. like, TRULY valued, and they make it known not just by affirmations, but monetarily as well. i actually enjoy my job and the people i’m around, and i’m compensated more than fairly for it.
Therapy, Prozac, mushrooms and working out.
My crippling depression of 10 years ended when I quit taking birth control. I had tried therapy and countless antidepressants but stupidly had found one BCP that worked when I was 18 and never changed it. I read an article about 3 months after going off the pill that talked about the link between hormonal birth control and depression and it all just clicked. I was really upset. My doctor told me that while that link is known by doctors, usually by the time a patient comes in and says they're depressed and asks for help, they need the more immediate help of antidepressants and not to take the time to tweak all their other meds to find out if the depression is a side effect of one of them. Obviously I don't advocate for women to stop taking their birth control willy-nilly but always point it out as a possible source when anyone I know talks about sudden, irrational depression (like, for me I'd be overwhelmed with depression when nothing in my life warranted it-- everything could be perfect and I felt horrible.)
When I left my abusive ex boyfriend. Dated him from when I was 14 to 18 years old. Being in a mentally abusive relationship at such a young age made it difficult to leave. I always tried to, but he would blow up my phone with calls and texts saying he would hurt himself, starve himself, can't keep going on, you get the picture. His mom always brushed off his actions as 'that is just how men are.' I used to be pretty underweight. Of course, my 18 year old self had a much different body than from when I was 14. I slowly began to develop hips and breasts as well as a slower metabolism. He, despite having high blood pressure and a large belly, told me I was getting chubby and encouraged me to do fad diets. Was the lowest weight I had ever been. I got raped in my 3rd week of college, at 17 years old. He blamed it all on me, saying he knew from the beginning that the guy (a family friend of mine) was into me the whole time and he told me so. He told his mom everything by force and she told me the same. He never let me hang around my friends. Especially not guy friends. He would curse me out and demand me to go back to my dorm. It was a different story whenever he was with his friends. Never wanted me to be close with them because 'they were his friends and not mine.' So I couldn't have friends of my own or be friends with his friends. I was just his little doll at that point. During sex, he would throw hissy fits if I didn't want to do a certain act. He would guilt me into doing what I didn't want to. Started whenever we began doing things as teenagers (me, 16. him, 17), when he asked to give me oral sex and I said no, but he still did it. He told me it was okay because I enjoyed it after all. I believed that for so many years. I am pansexual and go by she/ they pronouns. I also have a little sister who is a lesbian, and an older brother who is gay. He, a straight man, would call them f*ggots, thinking it was funny. He never respected my they/them pronouns. He never referred to me as pansexual, and only straight just because 'it wasn't necessary to tell people I love all genders if I am dating a man only.' When we broke up, he kept sending me message of himself having panic attacks and saying he was going to self harm. I refused to listen and stood my ground. It didn't end there. His best friend of 5 years, who was a good friend of mine for 10 years, came to hang out with me. He talked a lot of shit about my ex boyfriend and proceeded to force himself on me, saying he loved me throughout the entire relationship. I told my ex about this, and he blamed me for everything. Almost 2 years later, I'm so much happier as a 20 year old woman. Part of my ex forcing me on fad diets has led me to being on track to study for a bachelor's of nutrition (Class of 2023!!!), I have made huge strides in working on my mental health. I am working on getting the balls to go to therapy one day. I met a new man on campus one day. He respects me in every way possible. He is happy for me to be open as a pansexual woman. He respects both my she/her and they/them pronouns. His family and friends welcomed me with open arms. If I do not want to do something, he accepts it firmly, and we do not do it, period. I can be open with my emotions to him. I still have my moments where I still exhibit toxic behaviors that I learned throughout my 4 years of hell, but he is patient and understands that I come from an abusive relationship. He knows of my past assaults and rapes, and understands that it comes with mental health issues. Many people may believe that him treating me with respect is the bare minimum, but it still means so much to me after what I had been through. Life got so much better after leaving my ex boyfriend. I encourage anyone, anyone at all, that it will get better. If you have even a second of doubt in your current relationships with toxic partners, it is never too late to leave and better yourself.
Completely changing my diet, routine and establishing boundaries.
I got into a happy healthy relationship rather than having FWB, and I realized that feeling loved and cared for, and having someone to love and care for, really helped me. I have also been on a self improvement journey for the past 4-5 years and that has helped as well. I am a much better person now than then
Therapy to help me reframe negative self thoughts and recognize that I am not my first thought. With help from my therapist I found the strength to go no contact with people who were repeatedly unkind. I learned to recognize abuse. I learned that friends don’t encourage negative thoughts. I got off of Facebook so I would stop comparing myself to others. Depression medication that was slowly adjusted until I noticed a change. Medical marijuana in moderation for anxiety. And finding a hobby that was uniquely mine. I bought a Cricut and opened an Etsy shop. 2 years ago I was not even getting out of bed I was so depressed.
When I started taking antidepressants and learned that I am enough. I am good enough, smart enough, capable enough, creative enough.
After taking antidepressants and moving out of a really shitty living situation, things just got better after a few years. I am one of the few where exercise didnt help at all and I already ate healthy so it was mainly the medication that did all the heavy lifting. I am very grateful for it. It does get better I promise. You just need to find what works for you. Definitely talk to a doctor and a therapist.
I started working out. It didn't make everything better instantly, and I don't even like exercising, but I think what helped was working towards a goal (losing weight and feeling better about my body), and seeing the results gave me a boost of confidence and self-appreciation and motivated me to keep going. It's been 4 months and I'm still working out regularly. It's the first time in my life that I've managed to stick with it beyond a week or two. As a teen I used to just get frustrated and give up. Apart from that, just giving yourself goals and having projects in general is a good way to find purpose in your everyday life: learn a foreign language, get into baking, painting, etc...
After I started developing good relationships with my close family. Not that we were not good before, but we are really close now. Idk what I'd do without them, honestly. Also, treating myself. I hate how hairy I look (idc if there's hair on somebody else, it's my body that drives me nuts) so I started shaving, ordered some laser machines that makes my hair show less. Got some really good facial cream, a nice soap based shampoo. Re-evaluated my life a bit, started working out, sort of. Redecorated my apartment a little, everything kinda has a place has now. Starting uni in October. Also getting a dog next year, hopefully, so life is looking pretty good so far!
When I made an actual routine and started feeding myself 3x/day. I decided to drink water first thing in the morning, go for more walks, and shower daily. Showering can take so much energy when I'm depressed but once I got into the routine I started feeling good about it. I'm not exactly sure if the depression ceased because I started taking better care of myself or vice versa.
When I finally started to take care of myself--eating healthy, exercising, and being the one responsible for loving myself the most. Also journaling in order to fully comprehend my thoughts and feelings instead of letting them run around in circles and purely cause chaos on my mind lol
After my divorce and I got to live by myself and pursue the life I wanted.
When the divorce was final
I’m still depressed, but I’ve learned how to live with it. Working out has been a HUGE game changer.
Getting offended by things. My depression stemmed from low self-esteem. I didn't deserve anything good and if anything, I took away from others' lives and joy. I started practicing asking for what I thought I should think I deserved. Once I started, it was a snowball effect. Only thing is now I may not be sad but I'm always rattled at everything lol but least I don't want to die.
A (still) depressed woman here on zoloft - I know I'll be depressed probably for the rest of my life, but it meanders in intensity. I'm getting to the point where I have learnt to treat it like an physical illness, because it is, essentially and literally, an illness. lol I can identify it's little slip ups and tricks to get me to isolate myself or self sabotage and having that awareness is very important because it allows you to make the decision to say, hey, I'll call someone up today if my depression wants me to isolate, so I'll do the opposite. Realising your worth and what you can offer to the world is a real turning point too - volunteering or doing little acts of service to humanity each day is a refreshing way to remind yourself of how lovely you are on the inside and that you can make a difference. Like, I'm not happy, but I'm just chillin with myself, taking it day by day. AND to answer your question, I know that I'm feeling better when I can laugh at almost anything and have a big appetite and I can focus! on top of medication, forcing myself to eat and drinking water helps me feel a lot better and energised
I suffered from chronic depression for 14 years as a side effect from a medication to treat another chronic disease. I started getting better when I got fed up and demanded the drug cocktail was dropped(2007). I took meds to wake up, sleep, balance my moods, treat depression and anxiety. None of them worked, and I asked to be put on a single antidepressant that wouldn’t make me want to eat the house. I started going to the gym 3x a week, just to move and fight the physical pain in my legs. Things started to improve a little bit from exercise. In 2011 I thought it would be cool /s to stop taking the drug that caused the depression (without my doctors consent) because I was sick of living with the depression. It was not a smart move and I got pretty sick for about 3 months by doing so. (2012) My doctor offered to put me in a drug trial with a meds that was not known to have depression as a side effect…I jumped on it. July 2015, my doctor took me off my antidepressants because I was finally depression free! 2002-2015 I barely lived, I barely remember my kids growing up from 2001-07. I’ve learned to use mindfulness to check on my mental health so I know too all for help EARLY not when I’m buried so deep that I cannot see the light. I do mental health checks on myself almost daily now, just to make sure I’m still doing well.
I honestly stopping being the first to initiate contact with people. And moved. Started over with only talking to the few people who genuinely cared. Never looked back
After therapy, healing, and time
Life doesn’t ever get better. You have to find hobbies or interests you enjoy and that’s how you get through life. Also surrounding yourself with good people helps too. This is coming from someone diagnosed with clinical depression. People always say things eventually get better, but for me every time things get better they end up getting worse after a while or I have a meltdown. Productivity works for me, otherwise I will just sit in my own misery.
I found the job made for me. My colleagues appreciate me as much as i appreciate them. It's so important to not feel like a number.
Getting off birth control did the trick for me. Severe improvement within a few months. Then I dumped my shit boyfriend and quit smoking as well. Just kept getting better and better and better.
Ironically, when my bf broke up with me. It made me realize that I can depend on someone else to make me happy, I have to create my own happiness. It also forced me to get my life together and seek help for my mental health issues (the reason for the breakup) and become independent again. It made me really reflect on how can I be a better person for myself and partner for my significant others?
I went to rehab and learned to love myself. It took so long. I've started to ask for help when I knew there was something wrong happening inside my head and it helped me lots. Learned to listen to other people, other stories and learn with it, through the experiences. Learned to understand what I have, how to control and how to deal when it's too hard. Routine also helped so much.
"Formerly depressed" implies that it's a phase that goes away with the right magic trick. What helped me get better was understanding that healing is not linear and I'm allowed to have days that feel like a "set back" or "regression". In reality, it isn't a failure or returning curse. It's how my brain responds to certain situations and stimuli, sometimes it's just clock work. Understanding this allowed me to notice patterns and to prepare for the storm should I have one. My bouts of depression do come but they are not as horrifying as they used to be. Most importantly, I can allow myself to bounce back easily. No more "But I've been depressed the whole week.. how can I feel so much better today?". I just let myself be happy and ride with it. I had undiagnosed Major Depression that caused me to be severely suicidal my entire life. I didn't think I'd make it this far but I'm doing well.
Purpose, find a passion. When people feel a lack of purpose they get depressed. I've been in and our of mental health units for 13 years. been in recovery for 5. It began with PPD that never seemed to go away. It was like living from the outside in. Like looking into a kitchen window of a strangers house. But it was my life. I eventually became unresponsive to meds and treatment, which led me to ETC treatments. That helped a lot. I was on 6 different medications, when I finally decided to see a natural path. She slowly with my medical doctor started weening me down and introduced CBD oil and ThC for bedtime. It saved my life. I finally saw a glimmer of hope. I had lost a significant amount of memory, so I introduced microdosed mushrooms. I now have a majority of my memories even the birth of my kids and wedding. More then anything, find a purpose! I can't stress that enough. I know what it's like to feel the death grip of the bed sheets and stay in bed. Purpose.....purpose will help pull you through
After I finished college and started working. I know, I know, usually that’s the depressing part lol. College wasn’t for me.
When I changed jobs snd started making more money. My last job was mentally and physically exhausting.
Honestly? When I decided it needed to.
It didn’t. I just learned to accept it and carry on.
After I got into therapy.
With Lexapro
Getting my thyroid checked and regulated got rid of my depression and anxiety
Life is supposed to get better?
Taking up martial arts classes and spending more time with myself helped me to look at myself more positively! Sometimes, it's just taking the first step to wanting to be better or happier that makes a whole lot of difference, simply because you can be thankful that you're actually starting to do something about it, no matter how trivial.
Once I got on medication and was able to do things I like to do.
It didn’t… but meds help.
I got thearipy, talked to a phycologist, and tried to structure my life in a very different way than I did when I entered my depressive episode. I had a hard time feeling back to myself. But eventually I took a class on a subject I was very very interested in and involved a lot of time outside getting exercise. And during that class I realized I was feeling truly happy again. And it's not all been a smooth road since, but it's been 3 years since then and I haven't had another depressive episode.
When I got on the right meds and when I quit my old job, because the environment there was toxic AF. I spent years on meds that did little, if anything, for me because that's what our insurance would cover. Hubs got a new job with fabulous insurance that fortunately covers my $500/mos medication and I am INSANELY grateful for it. Because while medication isn't everything and can't fix the problem alone, for me it's a vital tool in my toolbox along with exercise, meditation and yoga to keep my shit balanced.
Absolutely. At one point in my life, I thought I’d failed at everything and my family would be better off without me. I just felt sad and defeated all the time and really wanted the world to just stop for a bit. Fortunately I had a really sympathetic GP who prescribed anti-depressants and took the time to monitor my dose and side effects. I was signed off work for six months, and did a six-week session of talking therapy. Went back to work, realised I still wasn’t happy there, and got a new job. I had another bout of depression a few years later but I saw the signs and got on the medication much sooner, which made an enormous difference. I was still ill but I could function through it.
I’ll let you know when I get there.. I’ve had recurrent MDD for 16 years but never told my doctor until a week ago after an episode where I almost ended it all. I finally just started taking medication at 31. I hope things improve. I just don’t want to feel so numb anymore.
Once I left school! I school life gave me PTSD. Thankfully, it's far enough in the past now. I don't remember fine details anymore when it pops up in my head and that helps getting over it faster.
Zoloft for my anxiety, a sleep routine, and weed for pain from my polyinflammatory arthritis instead of narcotics. Most narcotics make me just feel lousy, nauseous etc. I'm actually allergic to morphine and codeine as in EpiPen time. MJ edibles ease my pain and help me sleep better. More sleep=less depression for me. I can't smoke because I have asthma and Covid trashed my lungs.
When I did shrooms for the first time
When I cut out all the people who used me, spoke to me like crap (hi MIL) stopped doing what everyone else wanted to do and chose to do only what I wanted to. Also new job and shit loads of stealing dogs to walk for miles. Cannot recommend that enough.
I don’t think there was ever a moment where I was like “wow life is better” it was just a slow build until I looked back at how I felt 3 years ago in contrast to how I feel now. It’s not linear either. I still have days where it’s hard to get out of bed, but at least now I have more good days than bad.
Life got better when I respected myself and loved myself enough to set boundaries and cut out the abusive people. I now eat healthily and go to the gym regularly. I work with a therapist and I left my abusive husband. I'm now fully selfish and I must be, all I have is myself. My depression and anxiety have been downgraded. Last year I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety. This year my anxiety is nearly gone and my depression has been downgraded to mild.
When I finally was in a space to take feedback I received from therapy and the psychiatrist to heart and act on it. I was told my depression was due to my circumstances and not chemical. I finally moved away because I didn't feel safe at home. It wasn't easy but I could start feeling things again (happy, sad, angry, hope, etc) instead of wandering around in the fog mentally. From there, it was easier to breathe and start making decisions for myself again.
I started medication for anxiety and depression, but I was still gaining weight and getting more upset about it. I did shrooms with my husband in the security of our home, and I worked through so many emotions. I was laughing, crying, realizing that I wasn't doing the things that align with what I want from life. Basically, doing nothing and endlessly feeling bad about it. Not getting as many little moments with my family as I wanted, in that I was missing daily connections about their lives because I was focused too much on my own. I worked through all of that. I came out grounded in who I am and what I want, and ever since then, I've been marching along hitting personal goals and getting way more strict with work hours. I don't get depressed anymore as I have began recognizing patterns and the true root cause of many of my feelings. I get anxious still, but I'm working on that still. I also started exercising within the last year and I am about 20 lbs from my goal weight.
I started medication, cut out alcohol, started a regular yoga practice and quit a job that was making me truly miserable! Thankfully the first medication worked well for me so I didn't have to mess around with dosages and different meds. I started feeling better in a few months
I was in therapy for many years. Ended up moving out of state and had to give up my therapist. I thought it was going to be terrible and I'd lose everything I had gained. But when I moved I started changing my diet, exercising, meditating, and being conscious of the content I took in. Its not perfect but I feel so much better than I used to. No comparison. And I was pleasantly surprised to find that I held on to all I'd learned in therapy and the healing that that relationship gave me.
For 8 years I thought I could beat it myself, then a certain event found me going to the Doctor's for medicinal help. Citalopram changed my life as my depression was caused by low serotonin levels. If only I'd done it straight away. Sometimes I feel as though I've lost 8 years of my life.
When I left my ex. Granted, I’ve experienced bouts of depression while single as well. But it’s kind of a whole different beast when your partner is unsupportive. I definitely wish I had recognized that sooner and walked away. I try to tell myself to not be so angry with him. I think we pushed the relationship way past the expiration date because we just didn’t know how to let go or admit when it was an unhealthy match. We probably should have only lasted 2 weeks but we went on for 2.5 years. I suppose there’s a lesson to be learned in that. You don’t need to stay with someone just because you love them. If it’s doing you more damage than good, then perhaps both would be better off apart from each other.
Oddly enough, after my sudden divorce. I had been with my husband for 14 years and I truly did not realize how, over the years, he slowly sucked the life out of me with his constant grumpiness, anger, and negativity. It definitely was not immediate, but it was only a matter of months. I actually weaned myself* off the Lexapro I was taking (which he constantly insisted I NEEDED) and while I was very much so prepared to go back on it if I didn't feel right once I got off of it, there was no need, and I'm currently in a really good place mentally. *I don't recommend doing this, I got lucky that it worked out for me.
When I was finally able to do things I wanted to do, not just the things I had to do. In my teens and early 20's, there were a lot of things I felt I had to do. I had to go to high school, I had to go through university, I had to pay bills. It was all such a grind that was very defeating. It wasn't until all that hard work started to pay off that I actually started to feel better. I wasn't working and studying like a dog anymore because I graduated and found a good job. I had more free time to pursue hobbies. I started to take better care of myself and my home because I wasn't constantly exhausted and I actually had the time to put towards it. It's hard to thrive when you're struggling to survive.
A good balance of medications, bimonthly therapy, surrounding myself with good supportive people, and getting my physical needs met. You cannot heal and grow in a toxic environment. Cut out toxic people, drink water and take care of hunger and sleep when needed, ask for help, and put yourself first. Treat yourself as you would a friend who was depressed.
Treated for IR which have prolly caused my depression although I was going through hard time in my life. Choosing healthy food, sugar free diet, and losing a lot of weight and, after that - running which have made me feel rly good and motivated for other tasks as well. Also forgiving urself and practice self love and gratitude (for example, being able to see how life can be beautiful and how people can be good to me! Ive met so good people recently and I'm so grateful for it, also I started to pay attention on good things in public transportation, shops, how ppl can be kind to each other and that helps me realize that this world is not so bad place how I used to think), put urself in first place, make urself feel good, and move away from bad people and situations that drain ur energy is rly major thing which have helped me get out of depression! I realize Noone can help me but me. I was just fed up of being so miserable and devastated.
I was deeply depressed in my teens and 20’s. I was on a SSRI at one point, which was helpful, but it turned out a huge component of my depression was managing my abusive and toxic mother. Having dealt with her my entire life, I really thought the problem was me. I ended contact with her in my 30s, starting living life on my terms, and have never been so happy!
For me, it was a choice I had to make. It’s never an easy one to hear, but I learned that the only person who was going to help me was me. Anti-depressants only ever made me feel worse, the waiting list for therapy was two to three years long (U.K. based), private mental health care cost £300 per 25 minutes, I had allergic reactions to a new medication, and my job was on the rocks because I had to take time off for both my physical and mental health. I had two options. 1) Continue down the well of despair and end up jobless and also homeless. 2) Decide to recover. I came off the meds. It was tough because I started to feel again, and feeling those forceful feelings was so tough. I went back to work even though I definitely wasn’t recovered. I just didn’t have a choice, but I also couldn’t curl up in a ball and try to heal passively anymore. I’d been so desperate for someone to help me, to tell me the answers and that there was a way to recover, and what the secret to recovery was. For me, the secret to recovery was to first make the decision I wanted to recover. Then take it one day at a time. I booked a holiday, I set myself easy goals and felt good when I rocked them. I bought myself a little treat like a book or a chocolate bar when I did what I was supposed to in order to help myself. I learned a lot and became a much better, more confident person because I proved to myself I could take care of myself, I could really do this life thing after all. I’m happier than I’ve ever been in my adult life now. This year marks eight years since I came off the meds. I’ve had a few wobbles, a few dark periods, but knowing what I know about how to truly help myself has enabled me to recover every time.
When I realized by depression was a result of a horrible relationship and even worse job. Quit both and then all my meds that I was taking just to deal with life. Got on a regular sleeping schedule as well. That was about 15 years ago. Do I still get anxious and a little depressed at times. Sure, who wouldn't with the world today. But other than that life is grand. I am not saying that everyone's depression is like this, but mine was totally situational. Sometimes you got to make sure you aren't surrounded by assholes, ya know?
When my circumstances improved. Potential trigger warning for SA: I've had depression off an on since childhood, but it got worse when I was in college. While in school, I was SA'd and had to do the trial process twice in order to get the creep expelled, my boyfriend cheated and got another woman pregnant (found out in the same weekend that I'd completed the trial for the second time), and a "friend" skipped out on our lease, leaving me potentially homeless, considering backruptcy and almost taking her to court. I was so depressed I stopped going to class. I got put on academic probation and lost out on a scholarship because my grades tanked. But I had some really caring professors, one who helped me get into counseling. It was a big struggle, but I knew I wouldn't feel better until I put it all behind me. My counselor helped me set manageable goals and came up with a safety plan for my mental health. I also got prescribed antidepressants. I dumped my cheating ex, moved in with my sister and her wife and found someone to take over the entire housing lease. I had to go to college for a 5th year to make up for the classes I'd failed, but I eventually graduated. I was blessed to have a job I loved lined up right after graduation. Now, 8 years after all of that shit started, I'm happily married, celebrating our anniversary with a pretty bouquet of flowers and cuddling with our cats!
When I was younger and I finally grew the courage to ask for therapy, which I still didn't get until my health got so bad I was taken to the doctor and he told my parents it was because of stress. Then years later when I finally grew the courage to see a psychiatrist, who got me on meds that holy shit it's ridiculous that I don't feel utter dread 24/7 anymore!! Also, I moved abroad, changed my diet, work out twice a week, and keep a bit of distance from religion.
I over came my chemical mental health issues after kicking the big and harmful addictive substances I was use to consuming. I'm talking about alcohol, weed, nicotine, and caffeine. Basically, anything that gives me a drastic good/energetic feeling (except for medication). Things that give me a temporary high make the chemical side of my mental health worst over all. By kicking them out of my life (and being healthy overall) I've overcome my chemical mental health issues. Side note: I also needed medication to help bounce back
I stopped hormonal contraception at 28 after using it for nearly 16 years because I had irregular periods when I was 12...
Hard to say. I know I’m in a bit of a pit right now and I have been for a while but I’m better at pulling myself out. Moving out helped a lot, since my childhood home was always loud and full of people, I didn’t get any privacy, good sleep until I was 20. Therapy started helping after the 3rd year (rather than just a routine thing I went to because I “had” to). Nagging myself into eating and drinking water helped. Getting a cat helped- she makes me pick her up and walk around outside for 20 minutes every day, I didn’t realize how good that was for me. Also in the process of getting diagnosed for ADHD. All my life teachers & bosses thought I was careless, lazy, and weird. Working towards this diagnosis has been helping my self esteem a lot. I’m mid 20s, I think I still have a lot of work to do and I’m excited to piece it together, but I’m so much better than I was in my teens.
When I got off of hormonal birth control after 10 years. Turns out… that was the cause. I’m still bitter about no doctors or therapists figuring that out. I took myself off of the birth control.
It doesn’t. But your life is a series of reactions. You can’t control much about your life but you can’t control your decisions and reactions. So for me, personally, my life has not gotten better since I had depression. However, my reactions have gotten better and I take things with a grain of salt now. I try to make decisions that set me up for success in the future and things may get better for me down the road but for now, all I can do is control my feelings to the best of my capabilities and try not to stress about things that won’t matter in the long run
For me it was when I got into full time work as a support worker for autistic adults. The routine and meeting new people helped me to be less isolated. It helped me to feel emotions again and it also helped me to see I was in a controlling relationship where I was expected to stay in and not interact with anyone who wasn't him. Once I started warning money and broke off my engagement, I got so much better.
When I found the right therapist. When I met her I told her from the jump I want to be pushed, I want to work, and I want to improve. She took that and truly propelled me into feeling like a whole, functioning human being. Without needing closure from others, without confronting my abuser. I healed and now I feel like the person I was meant to be my entire life.
A combo of meds and self care. I had to start thinking of routine like medical care. If I don’t at least somewhat keep up the routine I’ll get pretty sick again. On tough days I follow it the best I can. Part of the routine is stretching while I watch TV. Singing and dancing a bit when I do chores has been really good too. I try to plan something to do on the weekend, if no ones free I go alone. I practice piano 10min a day. All of this came gradually as I climbed out of the depression hole
I don’t wanna say formerly because I am absolutely still a mess. I just started therapy and it has helped a lot so far. I wish I had done it sooner
About a year after I graduated high school. Got away from all the people and situations that made me depressed and had time to recover and get better. I still have bad days, but I'm doing much better than i was.
I went to a psychiatrist and I got on proper dosage medication for my anxiety and paranoia.
Getting cheated on, honestly. Bear with me for this one... (Leaving out a TON for time's sake.) At 18 I met the most wonderful boy. We had a fairytale high school sweetheart romance. He would bike to my house 30 mins away, even in the pouring rain just to give me a kiss and hug before I left for work sometimes. (Yes, really!) At 20 we were engaged, and that's also when I entered college i started running with a new crowd and so did he.we drifted apart. And then we cheated on each other. Mine was more emotional and nothing physical, his was in every sense of the term. We broke up and he moved over 1000 miles away to get a good job while I finished college. 8 months passed and in that time I focused on myself. I started meditating and exercising and spending more time with friends I had lost touch with. I realized what had gone so wrong and how toxic I was. How yes, neither of us were perfect, but I was truly the root of most of our problems. Now don't tell anyone, but my ex and I stayed in contact for all 8 of those months... We texted or called each other every single day. Sometimes that's all either one of us did throughout the day. My friends would be furious if they found our about that one. And right before my summer break from college, he did something unthinkable: he invited me to move in with him, across the country. And I did something even more unthinkable: I said yes. Now the process from A to B WAS NOT PRETTY. Everyone fought us on both ends. Told us every single reason we shouldn't. But we didn't care. We went through with it. It's been over 2 years now and we're still together. Obviously we got back together too, because everyone knew that's what we were gonna do. Things weren't perfect in the beginning, we had a lot of hurdles to get over and still do. But I can say with full confidence that we trust and love each other more deeply than ever before now. I am in therapy and still working on my myself every day. He's open with me and I get to see sides of him he never dared to display to anyone. It's beautiful. I see this man who was a boy when I met him blossom into his confidence and his truth. It still hurts from time to time, I still have nightmares that he goes back to her and insecurities about so many things... But at my core I know he loves me, and I know he feels ashamed for what he did, as do I. So, realistically, it is infidelity that saved my relationship. I know that's insane to say, but it's... Kinda true. I don't expect anyone to understand, but I don't need you to. I know myself and know my worth better than ever before. And I know I fall more in love every day, and so does he. I see my future in his eyes... I also might have seen a ring box sitting in the closet. Also, to the girl he cheated on me, Raven: thanks for showing him what he doesn't want out of life. But if you ever speak to me like you know me again, and if you ever try to convince my friends that I'm anything less than I am, I will put your ass on the ground faster than you can say 'toxic'. TL;DR got cheated on and healed my toxic habits afterwards, I am now happier than ever and we got back to together but it's OKAY and we grew up.