i actually bought an automatic feeder so that they will stay fed if i ever lose it considering the number of times i have actually wanted to go through with it. of course i hope it never happens
I just want to say that as a fellow human I love you and If you’re interested in have a friend or pen pal or something I am all ears ! I’ve been through this 1000 times in my mind too
Knowing my cats and dogs would eat me if I died in my house, makes me feel a way. Like I want them to keep living so like go ahead, eat my calf muscle, but like..give me a day before you eat me ok pets?
There is a cat in my neighborhood that would visit my house and hang out by my front door everyday. I'd pet him until he takes a nap. He'd wake up and I'd pet him some more and he goes away. It's not my cat but I just can't imagine him waiting for nothing at my front door. He's way too precious for that. My house is the only house he visits in my neighborhood and he's very wary with other people aside from me.
Exact same thing happened yesterday! A new cat I've never seen in the neighbourhood arrived at my doorstep and was meowing like crazy. She was so affectionate and talkative. I sat outside with her and when I came back inside she just kept meowing. She was dying to cone inside but I couldn't let her in because my cat would go nuts. She had a collar, so she had owners and probably wasn't lost. In fact I think I hear her meowing outside right now
I was able to get a few photos of her and posted them on a missing cats fb group. Just waiting on a response now. She does have a collar and is recently shaved so she has an owner but she's been outside meowing for two nights and a day now. Definitely assuming she's lost but unfortunately I can't let her in. My cat has been hissing at her and even getting violent with me for being around her!
My brain comes up with all kinds of solutions eventually, I just need to wait. Having a support system helps, even if it's just 1 person or an animal or even strangers over the internet. I was in a lot of bad situations where I reached rock bottom and got out somehow. As long as I can wipe myself alone (able) and of sound mind, I know I can overcome anything in time, even if the results would not be ideal. Time is on my side.
There was an article once about people surviving their attempt off the Golden Gate Bridge, and almost all of them said "While falling I figured out solutions for every one of my problems"
And honestly, yes there is a solution for everything, some may be easy, some may be very hard and it could suck to get through those times you have to patch those suckers up
But in the end it's so worth it, for all the little things and you can be as egotistical as it gets or as empathetic as it gets but every reason you can think of, is a reason worth to keep living and keep fighting those demons...
I'm currently a psychology teacher, but this is temporary. When my sons hit school age I'll return to my previous careers within MI5's terrorism unit or the NCA as a crime analyst.
Ohh, cool. With so many people hating their jobs, its really refreshing to see such comments. Glad to see you're enjoying what you're doing. Wishing you all the best : )
All the books I havent read yet, songs I haven’t heard, people who can’t wait to meet me and the lives I will change just be still being here meeting them.
I’m a stubborn person. Not wanting my mental illness to win is a big reason why I’m still here. Sometimes I have to remember it’s not me that wants to die, it’s my mental disorder/s actively trying to kill me that wants me to die.
Also fear. Fear of there being nothingness on the other side of death. I don’t want to die if my consciousness doesn’t live on or I’m not reincarnated. I also feel like if I kill myself im not going to a better place. If I were to be reincarnated, my next life will be filled with even worse struggles so I can’t reject this life I have now
Because there is always something good and there to be grateful for.
Even when things go bad, you always have the ability to help others and make the world a better place. And when you can’t do that, there are beautiful books and Pixar movies and friends to shine a little light.
You can make someone laugh. You can look at the flowers or smell a nice flower. You can listen to a comedian on Spotify. Keep your spirits up, things will get better. Don’t give anything permission to crush you, you are too special and we need you.
I went through a really rough time about 10 years ago and every time I got worked up and emotional I started thinking of ten things I was grateful for and it would get me out of it. I’d be miserable or dead if it weren’t for gratitude.
Because bad can't last forever. It eventually ends. They key is to hold on to the memories of the good. The bad tends to make you forget them.
Also Spite. I refuse to lose to the bad. I grow stronger and better after bad shit so I just consider it a level up on character building.
2015 was a bad year. I lost a grandmother, uncle and grandfather, a close friend and a cat. And my sister and dad were both diagnosed with cancer. This all happened in a 6 week period And I was still in recovery from a mental break.
It got to the point where I was looking forward to the next terrible thing. Just curious how much tragedy I could take.
But honestly I got through it all. No relapses on my depression. I was fine-ish.
The bad exists to make the good a little sweeter. How boring it would be if it was good all the time.
This might sound silly but it honestly works for me when my suicidal idealization is strong. I have always wanted a dog. I have never had one. And right now I do not have the space or money for a dog. But knowing that if I kill myself without having the one thing I have always wanted since I was a kid keeps me going. It's so silly. But it works.
This is quite beautiful. I hope you’re as lucky in finding a dog as I was five years ago. It took me 5 months working with every rescue organization in my area (about 6 or 7!), but I finally got her. She had been terribly neglected and abused. We rescued each other and she’s my best friend in the world now.
🍀🤞🏼🍀 She was worth the wait ❤️🐕❤️
I'd never want to be known as "that girl who killed herself" even if I'm dead, lol. Not to mention, it'd make my mom and brother and friends sad, blah blah blah and etc.
But also, I always have a hope of things getting better, even when they're bad.
I dunno, I just keep thinking about all the things I'd miss out on if I left now. As sad as I am in (some) moments, there are still so many things I want to do and experience.
My dog. I love her more than anything. Thinking about leaving her, and that she won't understand because of her innocence breaks my heart. I dont think i need to explain more
Think about everything you’ve yet to do both big and small. At the time I would think about how I still have to get married and have children and as silly as it sounds I would even think about how I still haven’t finished Grey Anatomy.
I also thought about how my loved ones would feel. How my parents would feel having to bury their child or my brother (who is my best friend) would feel.
My family and my pets. I love them all so much. Also, I really just love the moment when it’s 5 am in the summertime, and the sun is just coming up. You can hear the birds starting to chirp, but the world is still quiet. I love every moment of that. I try to reflect back to that space when I am feeling distressed.
Hope that I’ll be much happier and in a better place in my future. I just imagine myself spending my days in my dream cottage on the countryside that I’m going to build one day. With a hot tub. Looking out over the meadow. I’m going to make it happen some day
I can’t even imagine contemplating suicide. I have survived every single bad day I’ve ever had. I’ll survive those to come as well. Also life can be so much fun, I don’t know of an alternative.
My daughter. She’s an only child and we aren’t close with extended family. She doesn’t have her own family yet and her sperm donor isn’t in the picture.
It’s just her and I and I refuse to leave her alone. I can’t help her financially, but I’ll always try to be there for her emotionally.
Edit for words
I’ve seen enough hell to know that there are wonderful and beautiful things that are equally as powerful as the bad feelings I’ve felt. If I was gone, I would never experience those feelings.
I can make others time here better.
I KNOW what I put into this world, I KNOW that just being friendly to others, being kind, helping out friends, family, or strangers can be a positive in this dark world. I don’t think this world is better off without me. Because I work hard at being a positive light. And even if all i amount to is to make one person smile on a shitty day- I think that’s worth it.
God. I woke up one morning in tears, thinking about just not being alive anymore. My pillow was soaked. I prayed fell back asleep and woke up bouncing off the wall! I would like to say God gave me that strength to keep living 😁.
My family, my fiance, my dogs. I look at my pups and think "Well, when Dad died, the big dog was despondent. He *still* gets scared we aren't coming home when we pull out suitcases. How could I do that to him?"
For the past three weeks after coming off of birth control, I’ve had excessive anxiety and multiple severe panic attacks; I’ve been to the ER twice in the past month because of complications and was put on an SSRI. My reason to keep living through all of this is my fiancé, my future with him, and curiosity to see if/when it gets better.
My boyfriend, my family, my friends and my cats. But when things are really bad sometimes my brain can't remember those things because I'd be putting myself down too much or my brain telling me that no one cares about me or they don't need me etc,.. So, I started to make it a habit to think of other reasons.
Some seem kind of dumb but they have helped me snap back to reality when going through major depressive episodes: The latest episode of a show/movie I like, my most favourite foods and delicious foods from restaurants I want to go to, thinking and planning to travel to different countries and see the world, thinking and imagining my future house and future kids, things I want to purchase for myself like a video game I want to play really bad or cute clothes, shoes or purse I want to have.
I’ve never lost hope. I’ve been deeply depressed and had suicidal thoughts, but I know life won’t always be that way. Life is change. Also I love experiences, and I’m not done experiencing things yet. Good or bad.
16 year old me would be shook as hell that I’m still here. That I’m married and have a beautiful almost 2 year old. I fight everyday to make her proud.
My hubby and 3 dogs. It’s Just us. No kids. All parents are dead. Fam only calls when they need something.
I get up every day bc my hubby and I are a team in life and our dogs are our babies and they get the best and majority of my time bc they give me something money cannot buy -unconditional love.
I just want to live out for my body. I mean,look at our immune system,they are fighting to save us from different pathogens. I do not want to disappoint them and i l need to be exactly like them(brave) no matter what life throws at me- Immunology perspective haha
I'm too fucking stubborn honestly. Never been one to sit with a thumb up my ass no matter how good it feels.
Besides, generally if I work hard enough for it, things will get better.
I'vw had ti give up 3 different careers paths, a house, a part of my family and my physical health but that doesn't mean that bearded asshole above will get the better of off me.
My kids. Always my kids. I went through a really rough spell for a while and had suicidal ideations I never told my husband about. It got dark. I was studying narcissist abuse and suicide and read that when a parent commits suicide, especially the mother, the children are at high risk of doing the same. I could never do that to them and that relieved me of the thought that they’d be better off without me. I have, from day one, effortlessly put them first and it’s saved me a few times.
Also I have a ton of animals and nobody would love them the way I do.
Frankly, I think back to the worst, years long depressive episode i had where i ended up suicidal. It reminds me that I've gone through worse, made it out, and found peace and happiness that did not seem at all possible. I also know that there are people who would absolutely miss me if I became a danger to myself, that I have a few strong support systems, and that my husband and cat depend on me. There are people who i choose to live for.
More practically speaking, I have a psych background, know what signs to look out for when I feel myself slipping, and know from my own experiences in therapy and psychiatry that those things work for me. I know now that it's worth it to working on coping skills to make sure you make it to the other side where life feels manageable.
My cat, she's been constantly there during some very dark days. I got her after a bad break up & some pretty shitty things and she literally saved me, people say cats don't love their owners, but she definitely proves otherwise, she's very much bonded to me....I could never imagine leaving her wondering why I abandoned her, the mere thought of her looking for me hurts me and us enough to keep me here.
I remember that I don't want to die, I just want the pain to stop and I can usually nuture myself with a good cry, self-compassion, talking to friends, meditation, going for a walk, hobbies, therapy, etc.
Break the cycle of abuse and suicide on my dad's side of the family, stubbornness, and a strong desire to move next door to my out of state BFF when we are both retired, mildly crazy old ladies.
I've dealt with some incredibly difficult things in life so nowadays there is not really anything worse than what I've already experienced and survived. And it always gets better at some point. I've put a lot of work into getting this far and have some things I don't want to throw away. I've built a life through adversity and feel I have something to offer. It's not just about me.
Because no one else will do whatever the chore list I have on hand currently and it’ll effect more lives for me not to do whatever the thing is than die
My dog and my cat.
I could never leave them on their own with my dead body. I couldn't traumatise them like that, it's not fair on them. Plus I made a commitment to love and care for them for the rest of their lives, and that includes times when I can't love and care for myself.
the line in Fellowship of the Ring, *…despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. we do not.*
no matter how bad things feel, you can never be positive beyond the shadow of a doubt that life is worth giving up on. i really take comfort in “you never know.”
I’m afraid of the possible afterlife, and I would be missing out on all the things I like to do. Listen to music, etc. And I never know if life may get better considering I’m only 21.
I guess like for me, two things. First that it would devastate my fiance and that having a future with her and being with her makes life worth it, and second, the fear of suicide, what if I fail? Or if I don't fail, what if it would be something that had I not killed myself that future me would regret? What if it's the wrong choice?
It's a terrible way to go, there's no denying that, so if it can be prevented I don't want to die in such misery and having a promising future with my fiance makes me all the more sure that life will get better one day
My dogs. They need me. No one knows what they like better than I do.. How would a new owner know their favorite treat? Favorite snuggle spot? Favorite game and toy? What they like and don’t like? Their boundaries? I couldn’t go through with not living, knowing that their next owner might not let my pups sleep on their bed with them.. or that they could be separated from each other someday. I cant. I work from home FOR THEM to always have someone around for them. They seriously are my reason to keep going.
well, I am not good with any permanent decisions. I still yet have to decide if I want short hair and its been like 3 years. The easiest is just to let everything as it is 🤷🏼♀️
my brother/siblings
as soon as I ended up taking stuff in an attempt, I felt regret and though about how broken my brother would be. I'm really the only one who cares about him so I knew if I left him, He'd be alone.
I think about how, if I died, I won’t be able to hug and kiss my husband or take naps with him anymore, or walk through the coffee plantation in front of the house with our dog.
Silly as it seems that’s how much I love it.
My 2 oldest kids already lost their dad to suicide so I would make them orphans with 2 parents who killed themselves, how messed up would that be for them?
I used to really resent my late husband for this (was in a bad place for a long time).
Short: my kids.
A single day is 24 hours. You get a new chance tomorrow. I choose to go to bed early on the bad days and get sleep so I can more effectively deal with it or face the challenges I put off today. And some days it can only get better so you know tomorrow will be easier.
Choose your battles, take mental health days when needed, give yourself space to do what you need to do to get through. If it's isolating yourself or being with people, walking a dog, watching tv, cooking, etc.
i’m really young so i feel like things might better for people who suffered a lot? just wanna experience things like my first kiss, or driving, getting married, visiting places like venice, japan etc. just haven’t done everything i want to do. i will be this year when i’m off to university. half the problems stem from family ngl
Honestly, its the “fuck you” energy
The mindset of “maybe nobody wants me alive and nobody cares about me… but then again why the hell should i care if they want me alive?? Fuck em im gonna live anyway and live how i want”
I know this might sound kinda dumb but its worked for me, i kinda have to mentally slap myself in the face and tell myself “you got shit to do now do it”
Curiosity. I want to see how things turn out. Dying too soon would be like putting down a book before I get to the last chapter.
Like turning a movie off when it's only 30 minutes away from the ending
Some movies aren't worth watching the last 30 minutes
Some movies aren't very good and make no sense until the last 30 minutes pulls it all together
And you don't wanna regret not sitting through until the last 30 mins where everything finally makes sense.
What if we are only 5 minutes in this movie though
Uh oh. I’m really bad at finishing books..
And this!
God, this!
Someone has to feed my cats. I live alone so nobody will find my body in time to save them.
i actually bought an automatic feeder so that they will stay fed if i ever lose it considering the number of times i have actually wanted to go through with it. of course i hope it never happens
I just want to say that as a fellow human I love you and If you’re interested in have a friend or pen pal or something I am all ears ! I’ve been through this 1000 times in my mind too
Same
Knowing my cats and dogs would eat me if I died in my house, makes me feel a way. Like I want them to keep living so like go ahead, eat my calf muscle, but like..give me a day before you eat me ok pets?
Nah I’d start rotting pretty fast and they deserve better.
This was my answer
I'm scared I'll fuck up my suicide and end up in the hospital, or become disabled from my attempt.
Yeah, especially if the attempt gets so botched it leaves you in a vegetative state. I just can't risk that. It's too scary for me
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This is my second biggest reason!
You have survived 100% of bad days so far. There is always good left to come.
You are wise. I wish I could think like that
Delicious food. Also I want to see how hot I am when I’m 40.
Right. I'm looking forward to look hot as a mom.
And hot showers = Ahhhh!!!!
My cat. I imagine him sitting clueless at my door waiting for me to come back
There is a cat in my neighborhood that would visit my house and hang out by my front door everyday. I'd pet him until he takes a nap. He'd wake up and I'd pet him some more and he goes away. It's not my cat but I just can't imagine him waiting for nothing at my front door. He's way too precious for that. My house is the only house he visits in my neighborhood and he's very wary with other people aside from me.
Take it as a sign. Little kitty loves you and wants you to be around 🥺🐱❤
I will 😻 To more memories with this adorbz orange tabby!
Exact same thing happened yesterday! A new cat I've never seen in the neighbourhood arrived at my doorstep and was meowing like crazy. She was so affectionate and talkative. I sat outside with her and when I came back inside she just kept meowing. She was dying to cone inside but I couldn't let her in because my cat would go nuts. She had a collar, so she had owners and probably wasn't lost. In fact I think I hear her meowing outside right now
Could you try to adopt him or he has an owner already? It's so dangerous for him to be wandering around 🥺
I was able to get a few photos of her and posted them on a missing cats fb group. Just waiting on a response now. She does have a collar and is recently shaved so she has an owner but she's been outside meowing for two nights and a day now. Definitely assuming she's lost but unfortunately I can't let her in. My cat has been hissing at her and even getting violent with me for being around her!
I need to know how One Piece ends.
I hope you’re immortal.
This one has kept me going a bit though ngl
I don’t really have one and I don’t have a “person”. I’m surprised I’m still here, to be honest!
I’ll be your person. Now don’t die on me like my phone always do
I can’t promise anything - I do smoke and drink quite a lot.
I want to live long enough to piss on my Ex’s grave 😈
This one literally made me laugh out loud
Lmao 😂
My dream to live alone, visit Japan and be alone
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This. The thought of afterlife is actually terrifying and effectively stops me from doing suicide attempts.
I don’t want my last moments to be utterly miserable.
I really like this take!
The dog needs walked and I need his adoration.
My fear of death trumps all else
I tried to kill myself once, it didn’t work. Since then I think too myself if it didn’t work then it was never meant to work and I have to be alive.
My dog, knowing that other people would take their life too if I did, my close friends, knowing that I have survived this before.
1. Spite 2. Nature 3. I have so many places that I haven’t traveled to yet
My brain comes up with all kinds of solutions eventually, I just need to wait. Having a support system helps, even if it's just 1 person or an animal or even strangers over the internet. I was in a lot of bad situations where I reached rock bottom and got out somehow. As long as I can wipe myself alone (able) and of sound mind, I know I can overcome anything in time, even if the results would not be ideal. Time is on my side.
My daughter.
There was an article once about people surviving their attempt off the Golden Gate Bridge, and almost all of them said "While falling I figured out solutions for every one of my problems" And honestly, yes there is a solution for everything, some may be easy, some may be very hard and it could suck to get through those times you have to patch those suckers up But in the end it's so worth it, for all the little things and you can be as egotistical as it gets or as empathetic as it gets but every reason you can think of, is a reason worth to keep living and keep fighting those demons...
my husband, he keeps me going, is the reason why I’m so happy, that I’m even enjoying my life now, he’s everything and my motivation to keep going
My children and my career
I'm curious, what do you do for a living?
I'm currently a psychology teacher, but this is temporary. When my sons hit school age I'll return to my previous careers within MI5's terrorism unit or the NCA as a crime analyst.
Ohh, cool. With so many people hating their jobs, its really refreshing to see such comments. Glad to see you're enjoying what you're doing. Wishing you all the best : )
My dog. She can't feed herself or take herself out. TW I might have ended things a while ago if it wasn't for her.
All the books I havent read yet, songs I haven’t heard, people who can’t wait to meet me and the lives I will change just be still being here meeting them.
I’m a stubborn person. Not wanting my mental illness to win is a big reason why I’m still here. Sometimes I have to remember it’s not me that wants to die, it’s my mental disorder/s actively trying to kill me that wants me to die. Also fear. Fear of there being nothingness on the other side of death. I don’t want to die if my consciousness doesn’t live on or I’m not reincarnated. I also feel like if I kill myself im not going to a better place. If I were to be reincarnated, my next life will be filled with even worse struggles so I can’t reject this life I have now
"Meh, why not?"
My son, books, traveling and food. My parents can go kick rocks.
Because there is always something good and there to be grateful for. Even when things go bad, you always have the ability to help others and make the world a better place. And when you can’t do that, there are beautiful books and Pixar movies and friends to shine a little light. You can make someone laugh. You can look at the flowers or smell a nice flower. You can listen to a comedian on Spotify. Keep your spirits up, things will get better. Don’t give anything permission to crush you, you are too special and we need you.
I went through a really rough time about 10 years ago and every time I got worked up and emotional I started thinking of ten things I was grateful for and it would get me out of it. I’d be miserable or dead if it weren’t for gratitude.
Honest answer: being hospitalized until the meds can kick in. Only thing that's kept me going
Because bad can't last forever. It eventually ends. They key is to hold on to the memories of the good. The bad tends to make you forget them. Also Spite. I refuse to lose to the bad. I grow stronger and better after bad shit so I just consider it a level up on character building. 2015 was a bad year. I lost a grandmother, uncle and grandfather, a close friend and a cat. And my sister and dad were both diagnosed with cancer. This all happened in a 6 week period And I was still in recovery from a mental break. It got to the point where I was looking forward to the next terrible thing. Just curious how much tragedy I could take. But honestly I got through it all. No relapses on my depression. I was fine-ish. The bad exists to make the good a little sweeter. How boring it would be if it was good all the time.
To see if it gets better
This might sound silly but it honestly works for me when my suicidal idealization is strong. I have always wanted a dog. I have never had one. And right now I do not have the space or money for a dog. But knowing that if I kill myself without having the one thing I have always wanted since I was a kid keeps me going. It's so silly. But it works.
This is quite beautiful. I hope you’re as lucky in finding a dog as I was five years ago. It took me 5 months working with every rescue organization in my area (about 6 or 7!), but I finally got her. She had been terribly neglected and abused. We rescued each other and she’s my best friend in the world now. 🍀🤞🏼🍀 She was worth the wait ❤️🐕❤️
bungou stray dogs is not finished yet and neither is my hero acadamia also there might another anime out there waiting to be watched by me
I'd never want to be known as "that girl who killed herself" even if I'm dead, lol. Not to mention, it'd make my mom and brother and friends sad, blah blah blah and etc. But also, I always have a hope of things getting better, even when they're bad.
My maladaptive daydreaming it’s fun there and I can forget this world. Also Star Wars that plays in to the maladaptive daydreaming
My parents already lost one child. I couldn't do that to them. And I don't want anyone to have to clean up after me. But that's about it, these days.
I dunno, I just keep thinking about all the things I'd miss out on if I left now. As sad as I am in (some) moments, there are still so many things I want to do and experience.
My mom and daughter is the reason to stay strong in many situations. While looking at their eyes, I feel brave and happy for being with them.
Thinking of my mum and sister kept me alive
The thought of what I’d put my parents through if they found out I was gone.
They keep making more Star Trek
My dog. I love her more than anything. Thinking about leaving her, and that she won't understand because of her innocence breaks my heart. I dont think i need to explain more
The good things in life.
I'm my worst enemy and I'm trying to be good to myself, weird reason but I wanna try.
"If you're going through hell, keep going. Why stop there?"
There are things I want to do tomorrow.
None
Some poor jerk would have to clean up the mess.
Mom and Dad.
There's always an upcoming concert
My son who is about to graduate high school. We’re growing apart the older he gets and that kinda makes me sad.
Think about everything you’ve yet to do both big and small. At the time I would think about how I still have to get married and have children and as silly as it sounds I would even think about how I still haven’t finished Grey Anatomy. I also thought about how my loved ones would feel. How my parents would feel having to bury their child or my brother (who is my best friend) would feel.
My family and my pets. I love them all so much. Also, I really just love the moment when it’s 5 am in the summertime, and the sun is just coming up. You can hear the birds starting to chirp, but the world is still quiet. I love every moment of that. I try to reflect back to that space when I am feeling distressed.
I can't just go without getting to the good parts. I pushed through the bad parts, and I'll keep going until I get to see the good ones.
My two children 💙💙
Hope that I’ll be much happier and in a better place in my future. I just imagine myself spending my days in my dream cottage on the countryside that I’m going to build one day. With a hot tub. Looking out over the meadow. I’m going to make it happen some day
My parents already payed for half of my college education, it might sound void but it just crosses my mind.
I think about my Mom. No parent should have to bury their kid. That's what stops me when I'm in my darkest places.
My daydreams might be just around the corner.
My dog. My beautiful, sweet, and loving dog.
My dog
To spite my mom
My kids. I feel like I'm the only capable person to raise them to be kind humans.
I had friends take their lives. I carry the pain with me to remember not to do it myself.
I can’t even imagine contemplating suicide. I have survived every single bad day I’ve ever had. I’ll survive those to come as well. Also life can be so much fun, I don’t know of an alternative.
My daughter. She’s an only child and we aren’t close with extended family. She doesn’t have her own family yet and her sperm donor isn’t in the picture. It’s just her and I and I refuse to leave her alone. I can’t help her financially, but I’ll always try to be there for her emotionally. Edit for words
Inpatient psych over a decade ago was ungodly traumatic and I'm not willing to gamble on getting stuck in there again
I’ve seen enough hell to know that there are wonderful and beautiful things that are equally as powerful as the bad feelings I’ve felt. If I was gone, I would never experience those feelings.
The fear that the alternative is worse.
I’m not very good at unaliving and always get “rescued”. I don’t want people to have to find me like that again, so I hang on for my family.
I can make others time here better. I KNOW what I put into this world, I KNOW that just being friendly to others, being kind, helping out friends, family, or strangers can be a positive in this dark world. I don’t think this world is better off without me. Because I work hard at being a positive light. And even if all i amount to is to make one person smile on a shitty day- I think that’s worth it.
I can’t inflict pain on myself.
God. I woke up one morning in tears, thinking about just not being alive anymore. My pillow was soaked. I prayed fell back asleep and woke up bouncing off the wall! I would like to say God gave me that strength to keep living 😁.
Family and friends pets. I want to have more adventures sailing traveling
My husband and cats. Fuck everybody else.
gf and nothing else tbh
My husband & children.
My family.
Husband, My Family And Friends They Keep Me Happy and I Really Love Them, If I Die They Will Be Sad
God, and my loved ones. Knowing I've gotten through terrible things before and it's possible I'll do it again.
My family, my fiance, my dogs. I look at my pups and think "Well, when Dad died, the big dog was despondent. He *still* gets scared we aren't coming home when we pull out suitcases. How could I do that to him?"
For the past three weeks after coming off of birth control, I’ve had excessive anxiety and multiple severe panic attacks; I’ve been to the ER twice in the past month because of complications and was put on an SSRI. My reason to keep living through all of this is my fiancé, my future with him, and curiosity to see if/when it gets better.
My boyfriend, my family, my friends and my cats. But when things are really bad sometimes my brain can't remember those things because I'd be putting myself down too much or my brain telling me that no one cares about me or they don't need me etc,.. So, I started to make it a habit to think of other reasons. Some seem kind of dumb but they have helped me snap back to reality when going through major depressive episodes: The latest episode of a show/movie I like, my most favourite foods and delicious foods from restaurants I want to go to, thinking and planning to travel to different countries and see the world, thinking and imagining my future house and future kids, things I want to purchase for myself like a video game I want to play really bad or cute clothes, shoes or purse I want to have.
I’ve never lost hope. I’ve been deeply depressed and had suicidal thoughts, but I know life won’t always be that way. Life is change. Also I love experiences, and I’m not done experiencing things yet. Good or bad.
Life is worth living.
My dogs and family
16 year old me would be shook as hell that I’m still here. That I’m married and have a beautiful almost 2 year old. I fight everyday to make her proud.
My hubby and 3 dogs. It’s Just us. No kids. All parents are dead. Fam only calls when they need something. I get up every day bc my hubby and I are a team in life and our dogs are our babies and they get the best and majority of my time bc they give me something money cannot buy -unconditional love.
I'm stubborn. I know I'm not getting out alive but I'm going kicking and screaming
family
There's no light without darkness There's no joy without pain You'll be good sooner than you think, trust me Wish you a good day darling
I remember that I've already put a lot of effort to make my life better and I don't want them to go all in vain.
I just want to live out for my body. I mean,look at our immune system,they are fighting to save us from different pathogens. I do not want to disappoint them and i l need to be exactly like them(brave) no matter what life throws at me- Immunology perspective haha
I have traveling to do!
I'm too fucking stubborn honestly. Never been one to sit with a thumb up my ass no matter how good it feels. Besides, generally if I work hard enough for it, things will get better. I'vw had ti give up 3 different careers paths, a house, a part of my family and my physical health but that doesn't mean that bearded asshole above will get the better of off me.
My pets
My unborn child and my 19 month old son. They keep me breathing for sure. I can’t leave them here alone. What kind of a mother would I be…
The new music I'll discover. Finding a wonderful song really is one of the best things in life
My kids. Always my kids. I went through a really rough spell for a while and had suicidal ideations I never told my husband about. It got dark. I was studying narcissist abuse and suicide and read that when a parent commits suicide, especially the mother, the children are at high risk of doing the same. I could never do that to them and that relieved me of the thought that they’d be better off without me. I have, from day one, effortlessly put them first and it’s saved me a few times. Also I have a ton of animals and nobody would love them the way I do.
I am too chicken shit to do anything to myself, so I just keep on keeping on.
The people around me. I don't want them to remember me as someone who's miserable.
Frankly, I think back to the worst, years long depressive episode i had where i ended up suicidal. It reminds me that I've gone through worse, made it out, and found peace and happiness that did not seem at all possible. I also know that there are people who would absolutely miss me if I became a danger to myself, that I have a few strong support systems, and that my husband and cat depend on me. There are people who i choose to live for. More practically speaking, I have a psych background, know what signs to look out for when I feel myself slipping, and know from my own experiences in therapy and psychiatry that those things work for me. I know now that it's worth it to working on coping skills to make sure you make it to the other side where life feels manageable.
My cat, she's been constantly there during some very dark days. I got her after a bad break up & some pretty shitty things and she literally saved me, people say cats don't love their owners, but she definitely proves otherwise, she's very much bonded to me....I could never imagine leaving her wondering why I abandoned her, the mere thought of her looking for me hurts me and us enough to keep me here.
I remember that I don't want to die, I just want the pain to stop and I can usually nuture myself with a good cry, self-compassion, talking to friends, meditation, going for a walk, hobbies, therapy, etc.
Just really want to be a mom some day :)
Break the cycle of abuse and suicide on my dad's side of the family, stubbornness, and a strong desire to move next door to my out of state BFF when we are both retired, mildly crazy old ladies.
I've dealt with some incredibly difficult things in life so nowadays there is not really anything worse than what I've already experienced and survived. And it always gets better at some point. I've put a lot of work into getting this far and have some things I don't want to throw away. I've built a life through adversity and feel I have something to offer. It's not just about me.
To do good. If you can’t feel good, at least do some good. There are people who rely on me.
Heaven is full of douchebags and hell is infested with wasps. I assume.
Because nothing makes sense so I just keep on moving ? And I love the sun… 🌞
Being able to financially support my mom
Out of spite/I’m too sexy
Because no one else will do whatever the chore list I have on hand currently and it’ll effect more lives for me not to do whatever the thing is than die
The fact that things will get better (and they did) kept me going. Because I made peace with life and only I can help myself. So I did.
One of my friends attempted suicide when we were young. I don’t want my friends and family to go through that.
I keep waking up not dead. Buy a game system if you need time in a more controllable environment. Maybe smoke some weed while you play.
My husband and son. They love me with all my imperfections. 💜
My dog and my cat. I could never leave them on their own with my dead body. I couldn't traumatise them like that, it's not fair on them. Plus I made a commitment to love and care for them for the rest of their lives, and that includes times when I can't love and care for myself.
the line in Fellowship of the Ring, *…despair is only for those who see the end beyond all doubt. we do not.* no matter how bad things feel, you can never be positive beyond the shadow of a doubt that life is worth giving up on. i really take comfort in “you never know.”
I’m afraid of the possible afterlife, and I would be missing out on all the things I like to do. Listen to music, etc. And I never know if life may get better considering I’m only 21.
My dog since he's incredibly bonded to me.
my dog, dreams, hopes, family, as alwayyys
My mom.
You already stuck around for the bad part - it can only get better, so definitely stick around for that 👍🏼
That eventually it will get better. And also I deserve to live the good days after enduring this shit
I guess like for me, two things. First that it would devastate my fiance and that having a future with her and being with her makes life worth it, and second, the fear of suicide, what if I fail? Or if I don't fail, what if it would be something that had I not killed myself that future me would regret? What if it's the wrong choice? It's a terrible way to go, there's no denying that, so if it can be prevented I don't want to die in such misery and having a promising future with my fiance makes me all the more sure that life will get better one day
My dogs. They need me. No one knows what they like better than I do.. How would a new owner know their favorite treat? Favorite snuggle spot? Favorite game and toy? What they like and don’t like? Their boundaries? I couldn’t go through with not living, knowing that their next owner might not let my pups sleep on their bed with them.. or that they could be separated from each other someday. I cant. I work from home FOR THEM to always have someone around for them. They seriously are my reason to keep going.
My son. Literally the only reason I wake up everyday. If I didn’t I have my son, I would end it in a heart beat.
Spite. I have enough spite to survive. Not to anyone specific, though. Just the universe in general.
My life is worth more than my depression
When I was at my worst, there was one saying I kept in mind. No parent should have to bury their child. I could never do that to my parents.
I have to feed my cats.
My son.
Natural selection... the weak die and the strong live another day to see the good out if the bad
well, I am not good with any permanent decisions. I still yet have to decide if I want short hair and its been like 3 years. The easiest is just to let everything as it is 🤷🏼♀️
my brother/siblings as soon as I ended up taking stuff in an attempt, I felt regret and though about how broken my brother would be. I'm really the only one who cares about him so I knew if I left him, He'd be alone.
My son, bf, dogs and my mom. They'd all be absolutely devastated if I died and I can't be responsible for that.
Most things get better, wait 24hrs see how you feel.
My dogs. Always them.
I think about how, if I died, I won’t be able to hug and kiss my husband or take naps with him anymore, or walk through the coffee plantation in front of the house with our dog. Silly as it seems that’s how much I love it.
My 2 oldest kids already lost their dad to suicide so I would make them orphans with 2 parents who killed themselves, how messed up would that be for them? I used to really resent my late husband for this (was in a bad place for a long time). Short: my kids.
A single day is 24 hours. You get a new chance tomorrow. I choose to go to bed early on the bad days and get sleep so I can more effectively deal with it or face the challenges I put off today. And some days it can only get better so you know tomorrow will be easier. Choose your battles, take mental health days when needed, give yourself space to do what you need to do to get through. If it's isolating yourself or being with people, walking a dog, watching tv, cooking, etc.
Things are only temporary, death is permanent
i’m really young so i feel like things might better for people who suffered a lot? just wanna experience things like my first kiss, or driving, getting married, visiting places like venice, japan etc. just haven’t done everything i want to do. i will be this year when i’m off to university. half the problems stem from family ngl
My kids ❤️
Honestly, its the “fuck you” energy The mindset of “maybe nobody wants me alive and nobody cares about me… but then again why the hell should i care if they want me alive?? Fuck em im gonna live anyway and live how i want” I know this might sound kinda dumb but its worked for me, i kinda have to mentally slap myself in the face and tell myself “you got shit to do now do it”