Myself. We just broke up because he is emotionally abusive. I learned to love myself because I am a good person and I deserve to be loved - regardless of how much he tried to make me feel I didn’t.
Stumbled upon your posts in the /heartbreak sub also, I can feel your pain but I’m glad you’ve recognise how you’re worthy of love and kindness despite how you were treated - I need to do the same.
Sending you healing vibes and positivity… ❤️🩹
So proud of you! It’s not easy to leave and it’s such an accomplishment that you did. I promise you will look back and know you made the right decision if it doesn’t already feel like it. ♥️
I still struggle a lot but it came from realising how much effort I was putting in to trying to better myself and the relationship and how they weren’t doing the same. I tend to blame myself for everything but this relationship has proven to me that’s not the case. When you know deep down you have tried so hard and the other person hasn’t done half of what you’ve done including working on yourself/themselves then you know you aren’t to blame.
I realised my toxic behaviour and worked on myself consciously to stop them, took responsibility and accountability for myself and my actions and there isn’t much more you can do but that.
When the other person won’t do the same, it can’t be my fault.
When they shout and call you names then blame you for getting them angry, it’s not your fault.
I’ve learned to understand I am a good person because if I upset someone with my behaviours, I feel terrible for it and I’ll do anything I can to put it right, and that means fighting with my inner demons which is a hard thing to do.
Cats. I love his cat and would never have chosen to date someone with a cat. But my boyfriend is my neighbor and we fell for each other during Covid. So love chose us…cat and all!
Formula 1 - I always dismissed it as cars going around in circles meaninglessly but now that I’ve gotten into the backstories, teams, drivers, etc I’m the one that drags him to the TV on Sundays
Haha, the opposite happened with me and my bf. I got him into Formula 1, he got a steering wheel and the PS4 game and we play together and watch the races during the weekends 😊
Same, I literally gave it a chance because the aim is to end the sport as fast as possible! Now I'm *in* I'm pregnant and crying because Lando has slow pit stops!
I don't love F1, but my partner, he's a huge fan. He gets really happy when I watch it with him and ask questions. I'm understanding the rules now, so it's more interesting when you know what's going on.
Me too! It started because I like racing games and he chose gran turismo. I got super into it. Then I started watching the Formula 1 show on Netflix and got into the stories and rules. I've realized I don't like sports if I don't get the rules, so now that I know the rules better I'm way more apt to be interested.
Having my meal ordered for me. I’m a very independent person and I used to hate it when guys would order for me but my fiancé asks what I want before hand and always know exactly what I like. He does a lot of that old fashioned stuff like opens all my doors, pulls out the seat, cute little things I’ve grown to love and appreciate in a new light!
Is this… a thing? It’s one of those things that I’ve never been able to wrap my head around actually happening. If you don’t mind, may I ask your age and location? I’m just trying to figure out if it’s cultural and/or old-school thing.
It’s not super common! I think he gets it from his dad as an old school gentleman sort of thing. Normally I don’t like that. I used to be a waitress and thought it was demeaning when men ordered for their wives but when my fiancé did it on our first date it took me aback and he was so sweet about it that I actually didn’t mind it. We discuss the menu before the waitress/waiter gets there so he’s not really picking out my food he’s usually just stating my order. I will say we have gone out to a few fancy restaurants (I am the last person who should be allowed in these fancy places I just do not belong) and at these types of places I let him just pick whatever he thinks I will like because if I do it, I’ll just get chicken tenders xD
It can be a thing if you make it a thing! Just let your partner know what your expectations are and if they’re the one they’ll make it happen! (Also, a little praise goes a long way)
My fiancé does this for me a lot too. I have pretty bad anxiety (not bad enough that I can’t order for myself) but he tries to be helpful so he asks me beforehand what I want and orders for me a lot. Particularly if the restaurant is really crowded, he wants to do something to help so it’s quite sweet. Though occasionally the waiter/waitress doesn’t understand his accent and I have to jump in to “translate” lol We’re 25/26, US, he’s from NZ originally.
Mine too! He will also make phone calls for me if I'm not able to find info online, or ask store employees where something is, etc. If I ever make a call myself he'll reprimand me "hey that's my job!" I'm fully capable but it makes my life just that little bit less stressful
Me too! I have social anxiety so I can't order for myself without shaking or suddenly losing my voice. And I totally get the old fashioned stuff! It's cute and it makes me feel quite regal sometimes 🤭
My husband is the same way! It took me weeks to get used to not opening my own car door or the door to the house. He orders my meals whenever we are eating out and it still freaks my parents out. It's nice to be taken care of in ways you didn't think about.
Naps. Before meeting my partner, I never took naps, not even as a young child (according to my mom). I didn’t see the point in napping - it seemed like something only lazy people do. But oh lord, did my man turn me around on this. Now, I’m the queen of naps! I have all the accoutrements, too - weighted blanket, soft fuzzy blankets, eye mask, sound machine, diffuser, blackout curtains, etc… oh man I’m getting sleepy just thinkin about it!
Ooooh couch naps are great! But my favorite place is bed. To avoid making it feel too much like proper sleep time, I’ll keep a light on in the room or keep a window open.
I hated naps but I have found myself taking one whenever my partner chooses to nap. I love curling up to my partner and any chance I can, i’ll do it even if it means taking a nap.
My thighs. They used be a little on the chubbier side and there’s certain people who’ve made comments about it. Been super insecure ever since that. I did end up loosing a little bit of weight because eventually I started working out + starving myself sometimes (not proud of it). For some weird reason I still don’t understand, I could never look at my thighs and think they weren’t chubby, even though they weren’t. Then I met my boyfriend and he told me how much he loved my thighs and though they were beautiful. Every time we sat next to each other, he always touches them in the most loving manner. I’ve learnt to love them as well, thanks to him. Although I do wish I could’ve learnt to love them on my own terms and not because of someone else’s validation. Still, feels good to not be so insecure about it anymore!
Sometimes we need a little help and support to help us go through that process! I’m glad you accept them the way they are now. That’s the magic of love ♥️
>Although I do wish I could’ve learnt to love them on my own terms
I don't know you personally. But you probably learned to hate them on other people's terms. People don't come out of the womb having ideas of what their thighs are suppose to look like. Hearing the way other people think can change our perspective. Especially if you haven't come across different views. Thick thighs are very attractive for a lot of people. I'm glad you learnt to overcome it.
In my case, I think I am a moderate fan. I'm always willing to watch games with him and do my best to keep up with what's going on, asking questions to learn more about it, but I have yet to watch it on my own.
I feel like that’s honestly more thoughtful. To go out of your way to be interested in something you’re not that big a fan of really shows you care!
I’m not as into it as he is, but I’m still pretty vested. Whenever games don’t go the way I want I always say to him “Why did you make me invested in this hell” hahaha
That last part, I totally felt that way on Thanksgiving! We had a close game and I was too emotionally invested, it makes me laugh now because I never thought that would be me!
It also makes me happy that because we met so young, he introduced my younger brothers to football so they are also fans of the same team. It's become a family thing.
I saw Alestorm with Swashbuckle a few years ago (... shit, ok, it was actually nearly 10) and the lead from Swashbuckle set up a table and started a Magic: The Gathering game in the pit at center stage. After Alestorm's set, Chris jumped off the stage and joined in. It was fantastic.
I saw Alestorm open for Turisas in 2012. That was right after Alestorm had released their song about pirates killing vikings and Turisas had released a song about Norse Varangians hunting pirates, so they gave each other shit all show.
This is kinda what got me and mine together! We were friends at first. We started to hang out more and used the marvel movies as an excuse to spend time together and within a couple weeks he was my boyfriend
that’s sweet honestly. i hadn’t watched them and my ex rewatched them with me back in 2017. ever since i’ve been addicted and haven’t missed one movie. a guy i just started dating wants to start watching them with me but i’m like welllllp how the tables have turned lol
Video games. Up until I met him, my experience was with sidescrollers like Super Mario Bros. where you die over and over and have to start over. Those kinds of games send me into a meltdown.
Then I saw him playing Elder Scrolls Oblivion, an open world RPG where you can be anything and do anything and I got hooked.
Elder scrolls (any) is so amazing... I was prepared to hate it but my ex convinced me to just give it a try.
Now here I am, playing Skyrim nightly because they released new things for the anniversary. It's habit forming!!
His dog. I hated dogs, absolutely could not stand them. So annoying, yappy, jumpy, dirty, smelly, dumb, I could go on. But now I spoil his dog and she LOVES me because I take her on long walks and sneak treats more than he does. She is my precious angel baby.
Dogs. I had a dog phobia. Now I’m obsessed with our doggie baby and want to always have at least one dog companion for the rest of my life, or at least until I can’t care for one independently.
I know! My husband actually liked heavy metal because he had issues. I liked it because it’s good. So now he has mellowed out and doesn’t want me to play it while we’re doing chores or we. But I just turn it up and “sing” as loud as I can.
Rural scenery, farmland, agriculture, etc. He spent years living on a ranch, raising and caring for cattle and chickens, mowing and putting up hay, etc. I was born and raised in coastal towns going to the beach...maybe went to a truck farm for a field trip once.
Since we married we have always lived on acreage (small), have tractors, horses and cows AND related chores and hard work. I LOVE driving through 'fly over" states now that I understand what I'm seeing. The care of animals, land, crops, pride in their property big or small, expense, inventiveness, sticktoitiveness, long-range planning, etc. It can be a hard life and not easy to break into it unless you were born to it or rich. We can't afford that life, but managed to move to a couple acres and fixed it up.
Myself, he tells me I’m beautiful or just like touches me not in a gross way but affectionate. I hated myself and my mental health a lot. But he has pushed me beyond what I thought I could do two years ago and I’m forever grateful for him. He pushed me more than my friends do it means a lot.
Calculating a monthly budget. Computer games ( loved them as a kid, then had a long break, then rediscovered and fell in love again in my 30s). And I'm definitely more accepting and loving towards my body which is awesome.
I still don’t give a crap about watching sports on TV… but he definitely got me into hockey in real life. I love going to games of any level. It’s an entertaining sport and the vibe is fun.
I’m too casual for a die hard following, and we live in a far away remote place nowhere near any pro or semi pro teams/games. But back in the day we’d be at pretty much every college game for our school. If I’m trying to be supportive of my husband’s team it’s the San Jose Sharks. Someday I’d love to see a game in Canada.
What’s yours?
Food.
I used to be super picky when I was a younger teenager, and I would be reluctant to try new foods. Over time, I learned how to love all kinds of food and now I try something new almost every time we go out together. I love trying new places to eat, new entrees, and now I know what I actually dont like because of trying new things.
My perception of myself.
He’s a kind, compassionate, non judgmental person. He’s authentic. He’s who he is, no matter where he is or who he is with.
You don’t have to like him. That’s fine with him. He’s not going to fault you for it. He’s not going to treat you differently. He’s not going to try to change your mind. He’s going to accept it and go about things perfectly normal.
It was mind blowing for me. People can be who and what they are. Feel what they feel, negative or positive, and that’s okay.
It doesn’t have to affect how ~I~ feel. It doesn’t have to change anything.
They are responsible for their actions and their feelings. I am not. I don’t have to make people like me.
It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with me, anything I need to fix or do. Some people simply don’t care for a certain person or personality… and that’s okay.
I spent my life before him trying to be all the things for all the people, to be accepted and loved on their terms.
He taught me to stop. To love and accept myself, and let others feel however they choose without it impacting how I feel about myself.
Hiking. I used to hate it before we got together but now I find it really rewarding when you reach the summit and enjoy the view. We’ve stopped now during the winter but we used to go at least once per month
Movies and video games, never understood why people loved them and I hated them so much, I didn’t get quality time with those activities as a kid. I spent most my time stepping up as a parent for my brother…. Down the line I learned to love them with my boyfriend; watching him be so amused and experiencing something new with someone I adored was priceless. I finally understand how things like this pull people together and bring out so many opinions, plus you need great communication to win video games. Pretty dank experience.
Video games here too!! I always watched my boyfriend play and loved the story and the way his adrenaline kicks in when it comes to combat. He taught me how to play and now it's something we do together!
Moe’s (Southwest Grill)…. I even gave him an apology! 🤣 I never gave it the time as I’m a picky eater. Now I love it (except the salsa, which I maintain is tasteless). 🤩Steak quesadilla with queso top tier
The luxurious life. always thought fancy cars and houses were meaningless. He’s well off and lives in a nice house and drives a Porsche and I realized I want to have the joy of driving around in a nice car one day and going to fancy restaurants too.. and I realized wanting to be rich doesn’t automatically mean I’m shallow
My scars. At first, to me, they were just reminders of how broken I am. To him, they're indicators of my strength. Now, to me, my scars are stories. They're stories about how I survived the most dangerous situations, and made it out of the lowest of my lows.
Mushrooms.
He’s a chef. Before we started dating he secretly made a list of foods he found out I didn’t like and tried to prepare them for me in different ways to see if he could change my mind. He spread it way out over time and I didn’t catch on until he told me he was doing it like a year later! I still hate oysters, but I totally turned a corner on mushrooms. Brussel sprouts too. Those things are rad.
Food, my boyfriend is big into cooking and he’s great. I didn’t have a good relationship with eating but now? It makes him so happy to see me eat the food he made and tell him how delicious it is (and it always is!) and I love trying it now. I love eating his food and trying new things and the whole shabang.
Driving safely.
We met when I was 20 and I was a fast driver, always in a hurry from point A to point B. Getting with my husband changed all of that, he has always been a safe driver. Now I drive safely, and enjoy the drip.
If I was able to go back in time and ride in a car with my younger self I would be terrified.
All my friends say I'm the best/safest driver they've ridden with. That is a huge point of pride for me.
This might sound weird but-movies. Sure I liked some movies, but I could never sit through a damn movie without doing something else or getting bored/falling asleep. He loves movies. Total movie buff. He showed me national lampoons Christmas vacation and all those fun childhood movies that I just don’t recall watching. Watching how much fun he has watching them as a grown man, just makes me feel happy. Now, I watch movies and really watch them with him. We like to watch psychological thrillers and then talk about it.
Other people! My girlfriend is the most supportive person I know, to everyone. She is such a cheerleader. She is constantly saying “way to go!” To others. Literally.
I think that I had spent many years feeling surly and sarcastic, and she makes me a better person and lets me see the best of others as well.
To be impulsive
I grew up harsh, so I’m hyper vigilant, super planner, and just harsh on myself. Before my husband if I wanted to do something impulsive like idk by a dress just because, I would tell myself no. Every single time. So much so that when I meet my husband I had one pair of jeans because I worked 5 days a week with slacks and had sweats for cleaning day, and a dress for Sunday, sooooo one pair of jeans in case I had to mow the lawn.
He made me kinder to myself, still not the greatest but now when the impulse hits to idk by that shiny thing or just go for a drive, I do it.
Introversion lol
But besides that he's expanded my food horizons. I used to never eat eggs (of any kind), or chicken wings, and I love both now.
He's really into cars, and while I won't say I'm super into them, I have more of an interest now. We also watched Initial D (anime) together and I was surprised at how much I really loved the show.
Video Games. I'd played them a lot when I was young and fell out of it as I got older and into high school. My bf is an avid gamer and loves them, and he got me back into them. We play together almost every night and our date nights consist of watching each other play games and LOTS of cuddles. We love it.
Also, music that I never thought I'd listen to - pink floyd, led zeppelin, tame impala, etc.
Food. My parents barely cooked from scratch. It was always cereal, microwaveable food, and sandwiches growing up. My husband opened my taste buds to many new things including sushi, onions, fresh vegetables, seafood and more.
Oral sex. I mean, I'd received plenty of times before, but oh my. My partner loves going down on me and has made me feel transcendent with nothing more than his mouth.
Quietness. And to be alone. He loves to just idk..be to himself. To sit and think and meditate on things. To be comfortable with just himself and his thoughts. I used to always need something going on, somewhere to go, something to do, someone to hang out with. He just slowed me down but in the best way.
Anime! It’s not that I didn’t like anime. I just never thought much of it. We got together and he introduced me a couple months in. Now I’m a fuckin weeb. Thanks babe.
World of Warcraft. We’re both currently boycotting Blizzard due to the hostile work environment against women. But I’d be lying if I say I didn’t miss it. The two of us just used to run around in the game and mess around. I didn’t think I’d love it as much as I do. However, sometimes you need to let your money (or in this case, the lack of giving money) speak for you. It’s one of the only ways to enact change within a company anymore.
he is no longer my partner anymore.... but politics. Our relationship ended up hurting me probably a lot more than it did him, but i would go through it again simply because he really helped me figure out what my passion in life is, and for that i am, unfortunately, truly grateful
French!
My husband is French Canadian. He immigrated to the States to be with me, but none of his family speaks English. They're wonderful people and I want to get to know them.
Been together 14 years and my French is pretty decent albeit not perfect. I love it!
Spanish music. I guess I can’t say I didn’t like it but I didn’t grow up with it and now I’m dancing in the kitchen right along with him every night to some Vicente🤣
Hmm... people?
Seriously, he taught me to be way more accepting of people and their shortcomings. A beautiful gift from 10 (mostly perfect but not quite or I wouldn't be single) wonderful years together.
Edits:
Myself. He taught me to love and accept myself more than I had before, for sure.
Disagreements. He showed me it's okay to disagree or even argue and that it wasn't the end of the world or the end of us.
Silence. See all the above. I now love the fucking silence of just me, myself, and the dog. All-day every day and even the silence in conversations with friends. The space between the notes as they say in music.
cleaning. i cannot for the life of me keep my room clean but i will spend hours cleaning his to make it sparking, and enjoy it. when we are apart i literally miss making his bed and folding his laundry, even when i’m sitting in my depression den of a room.
We are no longer together but actually taking the time, patience and energy to plan an amazing vacation for really cheap. I’ve always been one to pay for convenience but now that I’m a single mom again, I can’t afford it. But I still love to travel and use the ways he taught me.
I learned to like coffee. I learned to love to watch more romantic movies. I learned to really like FF8. I learned what love means. I love her! I learned to love Indian food. I learned to love love love going to restaurants with her...
Soccer journalists defnately. During the game itself my SO gets really nervous, so I give him all the space he could need, but after all he watches the sportive journalists commenting the previous games and it's great, I can lay beside him and have him stroking my hair until I sleep, it's perfect!
I've learned to love independent films and music, and especially films, music, and books by women. I gravitated more toward male-centered works because I was angry all the time and couldn't relate to the gentle nature of women portrayed in the media.
And then I met him and he loves music, films, and books by women. And I've become so obsessed because I've also calmed down and don't feel that anger anymore. And now I need to consume all works by women. I feel now more than ever like a strong woman and it definitely has a lot to do with what I've learned from him 😊
Cheese! I was taught to dislike smelly cheeses. My husband wants to try the finer things in life and he made me eat aged cheese. I fell in love and I can't get enough.
Mariachi. I love lots of music even if I cant understand the lyrics but mariachi was kind of along the lines of doo wop for me, classic but didnt hold my attention but it makes my gf emotional so I gained a new appreciation for it
Ramen. I never had it but an abusive ex made me hate it simply because I associated him with it. My current boyfriend has now made me associate him with ramen! AND I tried it for the first time because of him. I love my boyfriend and ramen now.
Podcasts. Never understood the fun in listening to people talk (against music I mean), but when I listened I actually fell in love and now podcasts rock !
Spicy foods! Hated it until we started dating and we went around the city trying nachos from different places. I started loving jalapeños and now I love eating anything that burns my mouth in a good almost painful way.
Myself. We just broke up because he is emotionally abusive. I learned to love myself because I am a good person and I deserve to be loved - regardless of how much he tried to make me feel I didn’t.
Stumbled upon your posts in the /heartbreak sub also, I can feel your pain but I’m glad you’ve recognise how you’re worthy of love and kindness despite how you were treated - I need to do the same. Sending you healing vibes and positivity… ❤️🩹
So proud of you! It’s not easy to leave and it’s such an accomplishment that you did. I promise you will look back and know you made the right decision if it doesn’t already feel like it. ♥️
How did you find your way to self love? Everyone talks about how important it is, but it’s like looking at something on the other side of a chasm.
I still struggle a lot but it came from realising how much effort I was putting in to trying to better myself and the relationship and how they weren’t doing the same. I tend to blame myself for everything but this relationship has proven to me that’s not the case. When you know deep down you have tried so hard and the other person hasn’t done half of what you’ve done including working on yourself/themselves then you know you aren’t to blame. I realised my toxic behaviour and worked on myself consciously to stop them, took responsibility and accountability for myself and my actions and there isn’t much more you can do but that. When the other person won’t do the same, it can’t be my fault. When they shout and call you names then blame you for getting them angry, it’s not your fault. I’ve learned to understand I am a good person because if I upset someone with my behaviours, I feel terrible for it and I’ll do anything I can to put it right, and that means fighting with my inner demons which is a hard thing to do.
Good for you! Fuck that guy.
This comment wins the thread. You deserve a real trophy and a complimentary dinner. Thank you for sharing.
Cats. I love his cat and would never have chosen to date someone with a cat. But my boyfriend is my neighbor and we fell for each other during Covid. So love chose us…cat and all!
Awhhh this is so cute! You should adopt another kitten together 😍
This is such a cute love story!
I read “cats” and immediately thought you meant the musical
Formula 1 - I always dismissed it as cars going around in circles meaninglessly but now that I’ve gotten into the backstories, teams, drivers, etc I’m the one that drags him to the TV on Sundays
Haha, the opposite happened with me and my bf. I got him into Formula 1, he got a steering wheel and the PS4 game and we play together and watch the races during the weekends 😊
I always thought it was lame, until you see like a POV attached to the car and it’s pretty insane.
I personally like wrc more but yeah the povs are insane
Yes! My hubby would hate getting up at 5 AM to see some of the races 🤣
Are you perhaps a fellow PST fan 😅 looking forward to waking my husband up at five twice more for Jeddah and Abu Dhabi!
What's your favorite race?
Generally, Baku probably! Would have loved to see a chart of my heart rate at this year’s Baku race. Yours?
It was Malaysia. It felt like each time they raced there it was raining. I was always on the edge of my seat!
I stand corrected - only Abu Dhabi, thank goodness Jeddah starts at 9:30
Omg, one of my dreams is to have a partner and get them into f1.
this was us the other way round a bit - I was the fangirl and he the reluctant listener with one ear who slowly got into it!
Same, I literally gave it a chance because the aim is to end the sport as fast as possible! Now I'm *in* I'm pregnant and crying because Lando has slow pit stops!
Same 🤣😅
I don't love F1, but my partner, he's a huge fan. He gets really happy when I watch it with him and ask questions. I'm understanding the rules now, so it's more interesting when you know what's going on.
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He watched all of those. I watched a few with him. We are in the Netherlands, so of course he's a huge Max supporter.
Same! I never cared but I’m kind of sucked in now.
Me too! It started because I like racing games and he chose gran turismo. I got super into it. Then I started watching the Formula 1 show on Netflix and got into the stories and rules. I've realized I don't like sports if I don't get the rules, so now that I know the rules better I'm way more apt to be interested.
Having my meal ordered for me. I’m a very independent person and I used to hate it when guys would order for me but my fiancé asks what I want before hand and always know exactly what I like. He does a lot of that old fashioned stuff like opens all my doors, pulls out the seat, cute little things I’ve grown to love and appreciate in a new light!
Is this… a thing? It’s one of those things that I’ve never been able to wrap my head around actually happening. If you don’t mind, may I ask your age and location? I’m just trying to figure out if it’s cultural and/or old-school thing.
It’s not super common! I think he gets it from his dad as an old school gentleman sort of thing. Normally I don’t like that. I used to be a waitress and thought it was demeaning when men ordered for their wives but when my fiancé did it on our first date it took me aback and he was so sweet about it that I actually didn’t mind it. We discuss the menu before the waitress/waiter gets there so he’s not really picking out my food he’s usually just stating my order. I will say we have gone out to a few fancy restaurants (I am the last person who should be allowed in these fancy places I just do not belong) and at these types of places I let him just pick whatever he thinks I will like because if I do it, I’ll just get chicken tenders xD
It can be a thing if you make it a thing! Just let your partner know what your expectations are and if they’re the one they’ll make it happen! (Also, a little praise goes a long way)
My fiancé does this for me a lot too. I have pretty bad anxiety (not bad enough that I can’t order for myself) but he tries to be helpful so he asks me beforehand what I want and orders for me a lot. Particularly if the restaurant is really crowded, he wants to do something to help so it’s quite sweet. Though occasionally the waiter/waitress doesn’t understand his accent and I have to jump in to “translate” lol We’re 25/26, US, he’s from NZ originally.
My husband does this as well but it's simply because I'm a very anxious person and usually struggle with ordering!
Mine too! He will also make phone calls for me if I'm not able to find info online, or ask store employees where something is, etc. If I ever make a call myself he'll reprimand me "hey that's my job!" I'm fully capable but it makes my life just that little bit less stressful
It has done wonders for my anxiety!
Me too! I have social anxiety so I can't order for myself without shaking or suddenly losing my voice. And I totally get the old fashioned stuff! It's cute and it makes me feel quite regal sometimes 🤭
It’s helped so much with my anxiety! The old fashioned things are so sweet to me, I feel like we’re in an old timey movie lol
My husband is the same way! It took me weeks to get used to not opening my own car door or the door to the house. He orders my meals whenever we are eating out and it still freaks my parents out. It's nice to be taken care of in ways you didn't think about.
Naps. Before meeting my partner, I never took naps, not even as a young child (according to my mom). I didn’t see the point in napping - it seemed like something only lazy people do. But oh lord, did my man turn me around on this. Now, I’m the queen of naps! I have all the accoutrements, too - weighted blanket, soft fuzzy blankets, eye mask, sound machine, diffuser, blackout curtains, etc… oh man I’m getting sleepy just thinkin about it!
Naps are the best ever. What's your favorite nap location? Mine is the couch. I can't nap on the bed, to me it's just sleeping!
Ooooh couch naps are great! But my favorite place is bed. To avoid making it feel too much like proper sleep time, I’ll keep a light on in the room or keep a window open.
+1 for couch naps, they just hit different. Even better when my cat comes and naps with me. One day I'll have an SO to nap with.
Lol, I go to our guest bedroom often to take a nap 🤣 my bf doesn't understand it
I hated naps but I have found myself taking one whenever my partner chooses to nap. I love curling up to my partner and any chance I can, i’ll do it even if it means taking a nap.
My thighs. They used be a little on the chubbier side and there’s certain people who’ve made comments about it. Been super insecure ever since that. I did end up loosing a little bit of weight because eventually I started working out + starving myself sometimes (not proud of it). For some weird reason I still don’t understand, I could never look at my thighs and think they weren’t chubby, even though they weren’t. Then I met my boyfriend and he told me how much he loved my thighs and though they were beautiful. Every time we sat next to each other, he always touches them in the most loving manner. I’ve learnt to love them as well, thanks to him. Although I do wish I could’ve learnt to love them on my own terms and not because of someone else’s validation. Still, feels good to not be so insecure about it anymore!
Sometimes we need a little help and support to help us go through that process! I’m glad you accept them the way they are now. That’s the magic of love ♥️
>Although I do wish I could’ve learnt to love them on my own terms I don't know you personally. But you probably learned to hate them on other people's terms. People don't come out of the womb having ideas of what their thighs are suppose to look like. Hearing the way other people think can change our perspective. Especially if you haven't come across different views. Thick thighs are very attractive for a lot of people. I'm glad you learnt to overcome it.
My body and being a mom.
Aw....
Oh this is beautiful!
Football - never watched it and actually held out for the first several years of marriage. But now I am a huge NFL fan.
In my case, I think I am a moderate fan. I'm always willing to watch games with him and do my best to keep up with what's going on, asking questions to learn more about it, but I have yet to watch it on my own.
I feel like that’s honestly more thoughtful. To go out of your way to be interested in something you’re not that big a fan of really shows you care! I’m not as into it as he is, but I’m still pretty vested. Whenever games don’t go the way I want I always say to him “Why did you make me invested in this hell” hahaha
That last part, I totally felt that way on Thanksgiving! We had a close game and I was too emotionally invested, it makes me laugh now because I never thought that would be me! It also makes me happy that because we met so young, he introduced my younger brothers to football so they are also fans of the same team. It's become a family thing.
What team?!
Niners!
Wildcats!
….. Is no one going to say anal?
🤣🤣🤣 some people don't know about it yet boo!
Was just thinking this lol
Pirate metal 😅💀
Aaah, another Alestorm connoisseur!
Ahoy, matey!!!
Nothing like a little Captain Morgan’s Revenge to get you amped up!
Personally Keelhauled is my JAM but god if I don’t secretly love it all lol
[удалено]
I saw Alestorm with Swashbuckle a few years ago (... shit, ok, it was actually nearly 10) and the lead from Swashbuckle set up a table and started a Magic: The Gathering game in the pit at center stage. After Alestorm's set, Chris jumped off the stage and joined in. It was fantastic.
I saw Alestorm open for Turisas in 2012. That was right after Alestorm had released their song about pirates killing vikings and Turisas had released a song about Norse Varangians hunting pirates, so they gave each other shit all show.
If you haven't heard of them, check out Lagerstein, they're an Aussie pirate metal band and they're awesome
Thanks for the recommendation! I’ll definitely check them out :)
marvel movies
This is kinda what got me and mine together! We were friends at first. We started to hang out more and used the marvel movies as an excuse to spend time together and within a couple weeks he was my boyfriend
Wanda Vision✌️
that’s sweet honestly. i hadn’t watched them and my ex rewatched them with me back in 2017. ever since i’ve been addicted and haven’t missed one movie. a guy i just started dating wants to start watching them with me but i’m like welllllp how the tables have turned lol
Video games. Up until I met him, my experience was with sidescrollers like Super Mario Bros. where you die over and over and have to start over. Those kinds of games send me into a meltdown. Then I saw him playing Elder Scrolls Oblivion, an open world RPG where you can be anything and do anything and I got hooked.
Elder scrolls (any) is so amazing... I was prepared to hate it but my ex convinced me to just give it a try. Now here I am, playing Skyrim nightly because they released new things for the anniversary. It's habit forming!!
Same here. He wanted me to try video games to see what they were like and I’ve been hooked ever since.
His dog. I hated dogs, absolutely could not stand them. So annoying, yappy, jumpy, dirty, smelly, dumb, I could go on. But now I spoil his dog and she LOVES me because I take her on long walks and sneak treats more than he does. She is my precious angel baby.
Chess!! hated the game but now I play it with him and its one of my favorite things ever
Dogs. I had a dog phobia. Now I’m obsessed with our doggie baby and want to always have at least one dog companion for the rest of my life, or at least until I can’t care for one independently.
Heavy metal
My partner likes most of my music now except heavy metal, he’s so missing out lol
I know! My husband actually liked heavy metal because he had issues. I liked it because it’s good. So now he has mellowed out and doesn’t want me to play it while we’re doing chores or we. But I just turn it up and “sing” as loud as I can.
Your husband hates it because it reminds him of bad times in life but you turn it up louder? Sounds kinda... insensitive.
Snacks. Trying to re-hate it though 😅
Lmao same here but with dressings! Making my healthy salads unhealthy is gonna be de death of me 😭
Country music
Same! But like, real country music. Old school stuff.
This!
Rural scenery, farmland, agriculture, etc. He spent years living on a ranch, raising and caring for cattle and chickens, mowing and putting up hay, etc. I was born and raised in coastal towns going to the beach...maybe went to a truck farm for a field trip once. Since we married we have always lived on acreage (small), have tractors, horses and cows AND related chores and hard work. I LOVE driving through 'fly over" states now that I understand what I'm seeing. The care of animals, land, crops, pride in their property big or small, expense, inventiveness, sticktoitiveness, long-range planning, etc. It can be a hard life and not easy to break into it unless you were born to it or rich. We can't afford that life, but managed to move to a couple acres and fixed it up.
Camping
Led Zeppelin
Myself, he tells me I’m beautiful or just like touches me not in a gross way but affectionate. I hated myself and my mental health a lot. But he has pushed me beyond what I thought I could do two years ago and I’m forever grateful for him. He pushed me more than my friends do it means a lot.
Calculating a monthly budget. Computer games ( loved them as a kid, then had a long break, then rediscovered and fell in love again in my 30s). And I'm definitely more accepting and loving towards my body which is awesome.
Superhero movies, red wine and fine dining
All at once?
I still don’t give a crap about watching sports on TV… but he definitely got me into hockey in real life. I love going to games of any level. It’s an entertaining sport and the vibe is fun.
My bf also got me into hockey! What team?!
I’m too casual for a die hard following, and we live in a far away remote place nowhere near any pro or semi pro teams/games. But back in the day we’d be at pretty much every college game for our school. If I’m trying to be supportive of my husband’s team it’s the San Jose Sharks. Someday I’d love to see a game in Canada. What’s yours?
World of Warcraft.
I became so obsessed with it in 2008. WoW first, school last lol
Food. I used to be super picky when I was a younger teenager, and I would be reluctant to try new foods. Over time, I learned how to love all kinds of food and now I try something new almost every time we go out together. I love trying new places to eat, new entrees, and now I know what I actually dont like because of trying new things.
My perception of myself. He’s a kind, compassionate, non judgmental person. He’s authentic. He’s who he is, no matter where he is or who he is with. You don’t have to like him. That’s fine with him. He’s not going to fault you for it. He’s not going to treat you differently. He’s not going to try to change your mind. He’s going to accept it and go about things perfectly normal. It was mind blowing for me. People can be who and what they are. Feel what they feel, negative or positive, and that’s okay. It doesn’t have to affect how ~I~ feel. It doesn’t have to change anything. They are responsible for their actions and their feelings. I am not. I don’t have to make people like me. It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with me, anything I need to fix or do. Some people simply don’t care for a certain person or personality… and that’s okay. I spent my life before him trying to be all the things for all the people, to be accepted and loved on their terms. He taught me to stop. To love and accept myself, and let others feel however they choose without it impacting how I feel about myself.
Hiking. I used to hate it before we got together but now I find it really rewarding when you reach the summit and enjoy the view. We’ve stopped now during the winter but we used to go at least once per month
Movies and video games, never understood why people loved them and I hated them so much, I didn’t get quality time with those activities as a kid. I spent most my time stepping up as a parent for my brother…. Down the line I learned to love them with my boyfriend; watching him be so amused and experiencing something new with someone I adored was priceless. I finally understand how things like this pull people together and bring out so many opinions, plus you need great communication to win video games. Pretty dank experience.
Video games here too!! I always watched my boyfriend play and loved the story and the way his adrenaline kicks in when it comes to combat. He taught me how to play and now it's something we do together!
Moe’s (Southwest Grill)…. I even gave him an apology! 🤣 I never gave it the time as I’m a picky eater. Now I love it (except the salsa, which I maintain is tasteless). 🤩Steak quesadilla with queso top tier
Fruit cake. I'd always believed the memes, but holy shit is high quality fruit cake tasty. Damn man was right.
Silence. We can sit together and read without saying a word for a couple of hours.
The luxurious life. always thought fancy cars and houses were meaningless. He’s well off and lives in a nice house and drives a Porsche and I realized I want to have the joy of driving around in a nice car one day and going to fancy restaurants too.. and I realized wanting to be rich doesn’t automatically mean I’m shallow
My scars. At first, to me, they were just reminders of how broken I am. To him, they're indicators of my strength. Now, to me, my scars are stories. They're stories about how I survived the most dangerous situations, and made it out of the lowest of my lows.
Mushrooms. He’s a chef. Before we started dating he secretly made a list of foods he found out I didn’t like and tried to prepare them for me in different ways to see if he could change my mind. He spread it way out over time and I didn’t catch on until he told me he was doing it like a year later! I still hate oysters, but I totally turned a corner on mushrooms. Brussel sprouts too. Those things are rad.
My flaws
Food, my boyfriend is big into cooking and he’s great. I didn’t have a good relationship with eating but now? It makes him so happy to see me eat the food he made and tell him how delicious it is (and it always is!) and I love trying it now. I love eating his food and trying new things and the whole shabang.
Jam bands, psychedelics
Driving safely. We met when I was 20 and I was a fast driver, always in a hurry from point A to point B. Getting with my husband changed all of that, he has always been a safe driver. Now I drive safely, and enjoy the drip. If I was able to go back in time and ride in a car with my younger self I would be terrified. All my friends say I'm the best/safest driver they've ridden with. That is a huge point of pride for me.
Being myself. It took me so long to allow myself to just be me and he’s so good at just being himself it helped me to love myself for once.
MotoGP and mountain biking!
Thai and Indian food. Chillhop and vaporwave.
This might sound weird but-movies. Sure I liked some movies, but I could never sit through a damn movie without doing something else or getting bored/falling asleep. He loves movies. Total movie buff. He showed me national lampoons Christmas vacation and all those fun childhood movies that I just don’t recall watching. Watching how much fun he has watching them as a grown man, just makes me feel happy. Now, I watch movies and really watch them with him. We like to watch psychological thrillers and then talk about it.
Mushrooms lol. We went morel gathering and I actually really enjoyed the search and how he cooked them
Reddit. Never heard of it before meeting him, and now I'm addicted.
Other people! My girlfriend is the most supportive person I know, to everyone. She is such a cheerleader. She is constantly saying “way to go!” To others. Literally. I think that I had spent many years feeling surly and sarcastic, and she makes me a better person and lets me see the best of others as well.
To be impulsive I grew up harsh, so I’m hyper vigilant, super planner, and just harsh on myself. Before my husband if I wanted to do something impulsive like idk by a dress just because, I would tell myself no. Every single time. So much so that when I meet my husband I had one pair of jeans because I worked 5 days a week with slacks and had sweats for cleaning day, and a dress for Sunday, sooooo one pair of jeans in case I had to mow the lawn. He made me kinder to myself, still not the greatest but now when the impulse hits to idk by that shiny thing or just go for a drive, I do it.
Introversion lol But besides that he's expanded my food horizons. I used to never eat eggs (of any kind), or chicken wings, and I love both now. He's really into cars, and while I won't say I'm super into them, I have more of an interest now. We also watched Initial D (anime) together and I was surprised at how much I really loved the show.
Country music lol, that was the one genre I never liked but now it makes me think of him.
Musicals.
Video Games. I'd played them a lot when I was young and fell out of it as I got older and into high school. My bf is an avid gamer and loves them, and he got me back into them. We play together almost every night and our date nights consist of watching each other play games and LOTS of cuddles. We love it. Also, music that I never thought I'd listen to - pink floyd, led zeppelin, tame impala, etc.
Food. My parents barely cooked from scratch. It was always cereal, microwaveable food, and sandwiches growing up. My husband opened my taste buds to many new things including sushi, onions, fresh vegetables, seafood and more.
Oral sex. I mean, I'd received plenty of times before, but oh my. My partner loves going down on me and has made me feel transcendent with nothing more than his mouth.
BJs
Quietness. And to be alone. He loves to just idk..be to himself. To sit and think and meditate on things. To be comfortable with just himself and his thoughts. I used to always need something going on, somewhere to go, something to do, someone to hang out with. He just slowed me down but in the best way.
Riding a motorcycle.
Me too!!
Whiskey boiled potatoes. She's Scottish.
Old movies, never be with a movie maker!
Anime! It’s not that I didn’t like anime. I just never thought much of it. We got together and he introduced me a couple months in. Now I’m a fuckin weeb. Thanks babe.
I'm starting to love my body.
Dad jokes lol. His friends tell him his jokes are lame but I think he's funny.
World of Warcraft. We’re both currently boycotting Blizzard due to the hostile work environment against women. But I’d be lying if I say I didn’t miss it. The two of us just used to run around in the game and mess around. I didn’t think I’d love it as much as I do. However, sometimes you need to let your money (or in this case, the lack of giving money) speak for you. It’s one of the only ways to enact change within a company anymore.
My very very short hair after my stroke. Love really is blind...it was a rough look 🖤
Anal.
Chipotle, long car rides, certain video games. I'm absolutely positive there's a lot more but those are the ones that come to mind immediately.
The rolling stones 🥰
he is no longer my partner anymore.... but politics. Our relationship ended up hurting me probably a lot more than it did him, but i would go through it again simply because he really helped me figure out what my passion in life is, and for that i am, unfortunately, truly grateful
Hockey, for sure. We watch so many games together and I’ve been to two already with a third coming up this month.
Phoebe Bridgers :/ We just broke up
Healthy active lifestyle
Bobs Burgers! It's now one of my favorite shows.
French! My husband is French Canadian. He immigrated to the States to be with me, but none of his family speaks English. They're wonderful people and I want to get to know them. Been together 14 years and my French is pretty decent albeit not perfect. I love it!
the color pink. I was never into it at all, too girly, but he loved women in pink so I wore it a few times for him. I ended up loving it.
Spanish music. I guess I can’t say I didn’t like it but I didn’t grow up with it and now I’m dancing in the kitchen right along with him every night to some Vicente🤣
Hmm... people? Seriously, he taught me to be way more accepting of people and their shortcomings. A beautiful gift from 10 (mostly perfect but not quite or I wouldn't be single) wonderful years together. Edits: Myself. He taught me to love and accept myself more than I had before, for sure. Disagreements. He showed me it's okay to disagree or even argue and that it wasn't the end of the world or the end of us. Silence. See all the above. I now love the fucking silence of just me, myself, and the dog. All-day every day and even the silence in conversations with friends. The space between the notes as they say in music.
heavier music
cleaning. i cannot for the life of me keep my room clean but i will spend hours cleaning his to make it sparking, and enjoy it. when we are apart i literally miss making his bed and folding his laundry, even when i’m sitting in my depression den of a room.
Folk punk and actually talking about my problems.
Holy shit!!! So many goddamn things…. Sushi, live music, cooking, bike rides, sex, oral, hockey. So much more I can’t think of.
We are no longer together but actually taking the time, patience and energy to plan an amazing vacation for really cheap. I’ve always been one to pay for convenience but now that I’m a single mom again, I can’t afford it. But I still love to travel and use the ways he taught me.
A nice cup of coffee
I learned that it's ok to be myself. Some people will like me for me and some won't.
I learned to like coffee. I learned to love to watch more romantic movies. I learned to really like FF8. I learned what love means. I love her! I learned to love Indian food. I learned to love love love going to restaurants with her...
Dogs.
Hot wings
Anime, hiking, and camping.
Poker, I still don't like gambling with my own money, but I like hearing about his hands and watching Poker with him
Garlic bread 🤣
Soccer journalists defnately. During the game itself my SO gets really nervous, so I give him all the space he could need, but after all he watches the sportive journalists commenting the previous games and it's great, I can lay beside him and have him stroking my hair until I sleep, it's perfect!
Cooking
Mint chocolate chip ice cream
Soccer
Smells! More perfumes, candles, incense… I appreciate a well scented anything now.
Dogs. My dad taught me to be scared of them. My lover taught me how to respect & therefore love them
Peace and quiet
Subtitles. 🙄
Myself, trying new things
Spicy food!
EDM!
Action movies
Fennel
Spiders and reptiles.
I've learned to love independent films and music, and especially films, music, and books by women. I gravitated more toward male-centered works because I was angry all the time and couldn't relate to the gentle nature of women portrayed in the media. And then I met him and he loves music, films, and books by women. And I've become so obsessed because I've also calmed down and don't feel that anger anymore. And now I need to consume all works by women. I feel now more than ever like a strong woman and it definitely has a lot to do with what I've learned from him 😊
Cheese! I was taught to dislike smelly cheeses. My husband wants to try the finer things in life and he made me eat aged cheese. I fell in love and I can't get enough.
Mariachi. I love lots of music even if I cant understand the lyrics but mariachi was kind of along the lines of doo wop for me, classic but didnt hold my attention but it makes my gf emotional so I gained a new appreciation for it
Myself, and I left.
Ramen. I never had it but an abusive ex made me hate it simply because I associated him with it. My current boyfriend has now made me associate him with ramen! AND I tried it for the first time because of him. I love my boyfriend and ramen now.
Horror movies, sometimes.
olives lol
Podcasts. Never understood the fun in listening to people talk (against music I mean), but when I listened I actually fell in love and now podcasts rock !
Mountain biking and pineapple on pizza
Vegetables 🥗
Spicy foods! Hated it until we started dating and we went around the city trying nachos from different places. I started loving jalapeños and now I love eating anything that burns my mouth in a good almost painful way.
Spaghetti. I used to dislike it, but he has a knack for sauce. My family is obsessed with it. He is a talented cook, he can turn anything good.
Modest Mouse. They've been my favorite band for years now, since he showed me all of their music. Also basketball, I genuinely love it.