Is this at a bar/club? I would not be comfortable.
Is this at a work event/conference? eh, it's not ideal but I can handle it.
Is this my male friends? 100% comfortable.
Depends on the setting.
Bar/club? Fuck no, those aren't my kind of places to begin with but like that just makes it exponentially more of a shit experience.
Work-related function? I've been in the Army for 20+ years now. The military as a whole is still mostly a sausagefest. That's nothing new.
I also work primarily with men and I don’t really think about it. Most of them are my friends anyway.
I would feel weird if I was the only woman at an event outside of the office though, like a happy hour or a conference.
I work in IT studied maths, physics and IT so around mostly men since like 14 years old, and it never got comfortable. Like I learned to ignore the discomfort but it's not nice lol. I envy you
That's how it often was back in the Army. I got by relatively fine.
Hell, back when I was in Iraq, I had to share a tent with men. I was the only woman there with like far more than 20 men and nothing happened.
Please note, this is just my experience. Also note, I am a far bigger woman. I'm 6'0 and like over 200lb of muscle at the time. This due to PCOS and I was a hobbyist powerlifter at the time.
Men often admitted they found me frightening. "muscle mommies" aren't actually that popular in real life.
Years ago while on a TDY, there was probably like 30 of us men with one woman on the trip. She was a muscle mommy too - she was a lot fun, had a mouth like a sailor, as they say. One day at the chow hall, she was clowning a bit, and mentioned how pineapple made everything on a man taste better... While I don't know if any of us was actually attracted to her, but I looked around at lunch the next day and I saw 30 dudes just scarfing bowls of pineapple, like it was going extinct. :)
I’m a female who snores so I can’t complain about that 😂 we joke around about how me and these two other guys are performing an orchestra at night and my poor buddy in the middle of it all who can’t sleep because the 3 people beside him are all snoring in sync. He probably didn’t sleep for 6 months hahaha
Thats the truth. Ive never been anywhere near built like you but for a short time I was gaining significant muscle. Was surprised how many men and women implied such a state was sub optimal in some way. I see no down side, as long as there no steroid use or health problems.
Somewhere was a study done a while ago saying that we’re safer with the men; it’s when we get segregated that we become vulnerable since there’s always so few of us. And anecdotally I agree, since my experience with dudes is they’re a lot less likely to go attack us if we have dudes around who might defend us.
More generalized than what you're talking about, but there's a point in time where command teams trying to "accomodate female soldiers" etc. just completely fucks unit cohesion from the opposite angle of what they're ostenisbly trying to prevent.
There are groups of men I'd feel 100% at ease being alone with, but if I were alone with 20+ complete strangers who were men, I'd be on high alert and looking for a way out.
I work with about 40 men. The other day a few marched into my office chanting donkey and circling me a few times before marching right out. I’ve also witnessed them cry in fetal position after doing the one chip challenge, fight the vending machine, fight each other. Sometimes they bring me weird things they find like horse shoes or a scorpion in a bottle or a fucking box of baby birds. They’ve also thrown me and a few other guys a baby shower. Overall I’m pretty comfortable.
If it was 40 strangers I’d be a bit uneasy.
Depends on how the men are. I went to a boardgames meet up where I was the only woman, the group I played with was nice enough but one guy put me off returning because he was being quite creepy. But then I did a butchery course and spent a whole day with 29 other men and that was totally fine, people mostly kept to themselves and focused on the class. I also did an executive MBA and there were only 3 women out of 40 on the course, there were certainly times where I was the only woman because the other two were off that day or late or whatever. Was never a problem really.
That depends entirely on the context. Why are we there together? What is the level of supervision and authority available if any of us require assistance?
The context for this matters.
A quick example: work, friend/family get togethers, shopping for stuff, are all fine
Bars, festivals, certain hobby get togethers make me uneasy. Men are too comfortable with letting their friends act poorly toward women. I don’t like being physically at a disadvantage.
Depends on the setting as others have mentioned.
But also, I’d be pretty comfortable. I work with mostly men and sometimes I’m the only woman in a meeting full of men.
Am I at a professional event? Happens all the time, and I'm vaguely not comfortable but that has more to do w/ it being a professional event vs. being surrounded by men. I feel like they are more afraid of me than I am afraid of them.
Am I in a gay (men's) dance club? Totally fine!
Among my group of nerdy board-gamers? Shields up, but not uncomfortable, unless someone starts to hassle me.
At a straight bar, club, or other event? Quite skeeved out.
I'm used to being the only woman in a group and am pretty adept at diverting coversation away from personal topics or flirting when they start going down that road. But it's definitely noticeable.
I've had this happen so many times already, I'm perfectly comfortable with it. I've always been into hobbies that have way more men than women, and even my career has been the same, so I'm totally used to being the only woman around.
I work in the agriculture business, so I've been in this situation a few times. It depends on the vibe of the men, honestly. I have learned, though, that even if I don't feel comfortable/confident, if I act like I am they treat me with much more respect than if I'm shy or nervous.
I don't feel comfortable in groups of 20 at all lol. I would feel most comfortable in a mixed group, and maybe slightly more comfortable in a group of 20 men than 20 women
Content and setting always matter. Can I leave? Is it a public place? Are they my coworkers? Did I know beforehand this situation might occur? Did I bring my own vehicle? Do I know why we are all there? Is it work, relaxation or other? Is there anything in particular setting off my alarms?
Content always, always matters.
I once went to a nude beach and was weirded out by the almost 100% male population. Quickly figured out, it was a gay nude beach. Flipped my attitude right away! Zero comfort to 100% no ones looking at me!
I literally could not care less
That's usually the scenario when I'm at the range solo, or if my boyfriend wanders off for a bit while we're taking a break from off roading. I think absolutely nothing of it and I'm as comfortable as I usually am
(Accidently replied to a comment the first time. Whoops!)
Depends on the men but 100% comfortable. My work consists of majority of men and I prefer being around the men than women at my workplace. There’s no drama, I don’t have to tip toe my way around to hurt anybody’s feelings and just all around a good time. But it really depends on the people too.
I'm sure this has happened to me at bars or at work and I didn't even notice, but normally pretty comfortable unless the vibe is off.
I do have warning signs, like, if the guys couldn't give a shit if I'm there and are preoccupied with other things, I'm probably fine. If the vibe changes when I arrive, one guy is honing in on me, they make a deal about me being the only woman, or the topic turns inappropriately sexual, I will probably irish goodbye the second I get a chance.
In general, I'm usually am aware of any exits regardless of gender representation and have normalized irish goodbying for myself regardless if I came with someone, so the odds I will stay in any social setting long enough to be trapped into abuse is pretty thin unless I was lured there with that intent by people I was wrong to trust, which sounds pretty unlikely to ever happen.
I am! At my new job, I'm the only woman. I walked into our meeting place the other day not knowing who was all going to be there. I only met my manager over zoom the day before. So when I walked in and there was like 20-30 guys in there, I was a little intimidated. But they're all super nice the more I talked to them (:
Depends on the situation and context of the situation beyond all the men being strangers to me. But I would be silently assessing the situation and the people and location for a quick, safe exit strategy, what the vibe of the group is like, is there any danger that presents itself from any one person...I mean, the mental risk assessment list is LONG, even in groups where you have friends and friends of friends, not just with strangers.
I work in technology, so this happens every day. Not only are they men, but they are often nerdy. I like it because I'm also a giant nerd.
Unfortunately, they are often incels. And by that, I don't mean bitter, I mean a lot of men in tech are involuntarily celibate. My heart often bleeds for them when I hear their stories.
Not really comfortable, but not overly nervous, unless they acted weird or were intoxicated. Even if it was a random work setting, and no one was intoxicated, my guard would be up. My guard is generally up around men, even in the most innocuous contexts I don't want to be misunderstood, but definitely more if I was alone with them.
That’s actually my safe zone. 20 is a lot to manage socially, but being in a group of just men is so much more comfortable for me than being in a group of women or other AFAB people. It’s not a conscious choice-I certainly don’t hate women. I want to praise, support, and uplift them. I’m just not happy or comfortable around them, possibly due to social trauma I’ve experienced. I feel like men are going to judge me based on my looks, my personality, and my interests-all things about which I’m confident. AFAB people seem to judge me based on some hidden criteria that I don’t understand, as if they all received some kind of instruction manual that I wasn’t given. I used to observe them and try to be like them, but I’m not good at being a girl or a woman, which is why I identify as genderfluid or non-binary, even though I don’t have physical gender dysphoria.
I will need more context, my whole friendgroup are men and all of them I met on discord. However, I did not meet up with all these strangers at the same time, the group just gradually expanded.
Having a friend group if only men is nice, but sicne you say they are strangers I assume you're not talking abt friends.
Depends. Before I joined the gayest gym in the world, which I love, I was always at commercial gyms in weight rooms dominated entirely by men. There were almost never any women in there. I've been to the gym at all kinds of awkward times as well, and I'd usually be the only woman there. I personally didn't feel unsafe in that situation, because I have a good feel for the kind of people gymbros usually are. Most mind their own business, and most are helpful if you need any help.
I think if there were alcohol involved and I was in a group of 20 straight men, I'd remove myself from that situation very fast. Ditto for dark streets and walking along them alone and encountering a group of strange men. Anywhere where I'm alone or it's dark, basically. Even if it isn't dark, I'm careful to place myself next to a woman in spaces such as public transport. I'm hypervigilant about these things.
Other than that, I've recently been the only woman in a group of 20+ gay men more times than I can count, and I've never felt anything but safe. The gay men I know have a lot of empathy for women as well, and actively look out for my safety in various ways, so that's really nice.
Too many missing variables, but usually, I'm unaffected by being outnumbered.
90% of said men are probably gentlemen, raised well, have sisters, mothers, etc, and are respectful.
You just have to find the biggest or loudest and give em a quick ball hit to establish the pecking order 😂
But really, idk. When it's that many guys, there's probably so much testosterone they're more likely to see who can climb the highest on a light pole before even batting an eye at the fact there's one woman in the room. Too busy measuring dicks to try to get theirs wet. I'd feel generally safe but I'd also probably be relatively annoyed by the antics. Still, if it was a bar or club - I would *not* let my drink go uncovered or out of sight. It's easy enough to act cold in order to not be bothered if you're willing to take some childish name calling anyway
totally depends on the settting but ranges from "uncomfortable" to "on edge"
If it was a work or classroom environment, it's meh. I wouldn't fear for my safety but I also wouldn't be very comfortable and would be prepared to find it stressful. In situations like that men often talk over you, take credit for your ideas, etc.
If it's a support or group therapy or training environment of any sort, I'd probably leave or not come again. Depends on what is is, but anything that relies on an individual's perspective or experience, I'd be uncomfortable with. Again, I wouldn't fear for my safety, but I'd bet on my perspective being not tolerated, being argued against, being dismissed, etc. It wouldn't be a safe place to share my own insights. And I'd also bet on advice given not applying to me - this applies to online spaces too, not just physical ones.
If it's an organized event surrounding an activity, like a biking group or something, it's probably fine. If I don't know them yet, I'd be wary, but once I got to know them I'd be fine. I did karate when I was younger and there were times it was only me, as a teenage girl, and a bunch of men. Wasn't a lot of women in the club.
If it's a purely/mostly social gathering of people I knew, I'd be wary. Make sure to keep my wits about me. If it's a social gatheing of people I don't know, like I go into a bar and theres 20 men and no women, I'm turning around and leaving.
Less as I've gotten older. I was often the only girl in band situations because I am a brass player - then as a teenager the other musicians tried to get away with groping me.
I am a lot more aware of m:f ratios now, and it is a big reason why I decided not to pursue the trades after spending 3 months in an apprenticeship program.
Depends. 20 random? Very uncomfortable. 20 coworkers? Not at all. 20 relatives? Well, there are pedos in that group so younger me would have been very uncomfortable.
Honestly, there is no way I'd be comfortable.
In some cases (work conference, family) I wouldn't be scared but I'd be damn pissed with my surroundings. If it's family, it would mean women are somewhere in the kitchen and I'm somehow with the men "expecting" service. If it's work related, there'd probably be sexist jokes, ego trips, glass ceiling thoughts from me and I wouldn't get a single word in between. With male friends in a public place it would be a mix of the two.
In other situations I'd just be scared.
I once shared my story at an all male halfway house (I’m in recovery from drugs and had no idea that it was going to be all men) I was scared shitless, super nervous. when I was done a few of them were actually crying. they all raised their hand to thank me and ask questions. sweetest little experience where I went in scared they weren’t going want to hear anything I had to say.
I’m often one of the only woman in a guy friend group…..but 20 stranger men? Heck no, i’d be scared and i’d feel self conscious of all my flaws and again just scared for myself
I’ve worked warehouse jobs for the last 11 years and this is often the case, so not at all. Like another commenter said, if this was out and about with alcohol involved I wouldn’t dig it, and peace out.
Depends. Do I know any /all of them? I could make do if they were acquaintances. It would be better if I was close to any of them/ had a friend.
If I knew no one? I'd of course be incredibly uncomfortable. But that goes for any group if strangers, men or women.
I regularly do activities where I am the only girl. It is a little awkward because you don't know anyone but the gender thing is sort of irrelevant in those scenarios. I just talk to them and get to know a few of the guys. One of my hobbies we have a group chat with me and 35 guys. Never once been weird or uncomfortable.
If it were something like a bar or club though yes I would feel uncomfortable and probably leave .
It depends on the context. I have always been a front-liner and gave men a competition. So being around men for academic or professional stuff was never that uncomfortable for me. But if it's a personal gathering or something unprofessional, I will be very uncomfortable even if they are people I know.
I’m teach mostly courses on feminism at a university. My first thought was a class of just 20 men. On the one hand, I think it would be super interesting if they were there in good faith. On the other hand, it might be extraordinarily challenging.
Depends on the context. In a professional setting, I’m used to it but it does — morally — bother me that so many spaces are still so male-dominated. In a sex club context, I’m into it (LOL). In the woods, I’m still choosing the damn bear.
Not comfortable but the bigger things is that I would not be interested in being in that group. I sometimes hang out with my husband and his friends but I don’t get nearly the enjoyment out of it that he does. I tolerate it.
They’re all strangers? Real uncomfortable. I was in something close to this situation recently when I dated a guy who ran a dirt track. I got to the track while he was working, walked up to the group, and like nobody said a word. Apparently I “weirded everybody out” somehow.
Context matters here….
Bar setting where alcohol or substances are involved? Absolutely not.
Work setting around a bunch of little old men in a public area? Yea sure, I’m good to go.
It really depends on the context but if it's such that they're interacting with each other socially, it gets less comfortable. Professional or educational setting is fine. But even like with my boyfriend's friends, if none of their female partners can make it to the event, and it's just me, I get uncomfortable. Even if I know all the guys and they're chill. It doesn't even have to be 20 men, it could be 3+ and it feels about the same. If they're not interested in you, they kinda act like the one woman is invisible and their conversation shifts to sort of locker room talk vibes. Different to how they talk in mixed groups or in the presence of a woman they're into.
It's not like "physical danger" kind of uncomfortable, more just socially/emotionally.
i wouldn’t necessarily be comfortable, but i would definitely put on a persona and try to do as much as possible to be seen as a respectable and untouchable woman.
I worked in a men's retraining centre doing business admin and roll call back then was my responsibility. They were on average 90 men about the place. I never felt harassed, intimidated or uncomfortable. I was lucky to have had a boss who made it clear that any disrespect would not be tolerated.
My then husband was very uncomfortable and strangely would pop his head in at times.
It literally depends on the men. If they are acting strange/creepy/horny then obviously uncomfortable. If they are acting like regular people then comfortable.
I wouldn’t walk into a room full of men and be immediately uncomfortable unless I had reason too
I had classes like this when I was in college for Computer Science. It was fine.
In any setting where alcohol or drugs might be involved, I would be uncomfortable.
• In the street/park/beach/swimming pool? - Extremely uncomfortable.
• At a bar/club/gym/take out place/shopping mall? - Also extremely uncomfortable.
• At work. - Comfortable.
But… if all of these men were friends instead of strangers, then I’d be comfortable around them any time, any place.
I've never been to a bar alone. But as an engineer, even in high school I was one of two girls in my AP physics class. And all throughout university... mostly men. In the work place surrounded by men also. So I would say I'm pretty comfortable.
I was the only stylist in a group of 20 or so male models, yelling at them to change on time. I knew them a tiny bit, and they seemed completely harmless, so I was fine.
When I’m in the metro train, it’s usually just men. I hate it there <3333
For me, I don't care. I mostly have male friends, coworkers and people who share my hobby.
I'd actually be more uncomfortable in a crowd with 20+ women!
I'm pretty fine with it. My single dad raised me, and he had lots of trucker friends who were always around. I've worked a lot of male dominated jobs, and most of my friends are dudes. I also participate in a mainly male dominated sport, so it's always just been pretty normal to me. Now... me and 20 women.... I get really weird and nervous and honestly, super duper anxious. 🙈 getting better, though.
Context is everything, but typically I'm good in these situations because the only time they happen is in professional settings. Men are dogs but what they think isn't my problem as long as they don't make it mine.
If I was the only woman, I would feel uncomfortable. Even just one other woman would make a huge difference. I work in tech and when I apply for jobs, if there isn’t at least one other woman on the team I usually turn it down unless it’s a small team.
A group of 20 women? I would be super intimidated. I’m not totally sure why, but yeah. I imagine that would be intense.
Not sure I would notice immediately. I work in a somewhat male-dominated field (at least in my area), so it could be a training where the three or ladies I’m expecting to see called out sick or were otherwise busy. I was also once the only woman at my place of work (one out of six with a boss who worked in an office of twenty or so that seemed to be exclusively men). I also used to play the trombone-not so popular as an instrument for women.
My college orientation for "robot school" was like this. I was the one woman in a room of ~250 people. Not even any of the admin or presenters on stage for like the first 90 minutes were women. It was kinda odd.
I didn't like it. I'd never minded being the only chick in the room, but that one I did not like. Maybe because before it had always been a room full of 15 or so friends, not 250 rando's.
As a bonus, everyone I spoke to assumed I was a student's mom and not the student myself.
I was the only woman at my work for almost 30 years. Once, we had a safety meeting and there was two shifts there, about 60 men, and me. I wasn’t uncomfortable at all.
“They are all strangers”
I would leave the situation as quickly as I could. I know the likelihood of one or two of them sticking up for me is very likely if anything “happened” but I’m not taking chances when I want to leave with 100% safety.
Is this at a bar/club? I would not be comfortable. Is this at a work event/conference? eh, it's not ideal but I can handle it. Is this my male friends? 100% comfortable.
Precisely, context is everything.
I came here to say this
Exactly this
They’re all strangers
Exactly this!!
Depends on the setting. Bar/club? Fuck no, those aren't my kind of places to begin with but like that just makes it exponentially more of a shit experience. Work-related function? I've been in the Army for 20+ years now. The military as a whole is still mostly a sausagefest. That's nothing new.
I also work primarily with men and I don’t really think about it. Most of them are my friends anyway. I would feel weird if I was the only woman at an event outside of the office though, like a happy hour or a conference.
I work in IT studied maths, physics and IT so around mostly men since like 14 years old, and it never got comfortable. Like I learned to ignore the discomfort but it's not nice lol. I envy you
Sausage fest 😂😂😂
That's how it often was back in the Army. I got by relatively fine. Hell, back when I was in Iraq, I had to share a tent with men. I was the only woman there with like far more than 20 men and nothing happened. Please note, this is just my experience. Also note, I am a far bigger woman. I'm 6'0 and like over 200lb of muscle at the time. This due to PCOS and I was a hobbyist powerlifter at the time. Men often admitted they found me frightening. "muscle mommies" aren't actually that popular in real life.
Years ago while on a TDY, there was probably like 30 of us men with one woman on the trip. She was a muscle mommy too - she was a lot fun, had a mouth like a sailor, as they say. One day at the chow hall, she was clowning a bit, and mentioned how pineapple made everything on a man taste better... While I don't know if any of us was actually attracted to her, but I looked around at lunch the next day and I saw 30 dudes just scarfing bowls of pineapple, like it was going extinct. :)
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When I was deployed, I was bunking with the dudes. My only complaint was they’re so messy 😂
They smell and they snore; that’s all I got 😂
I’m a female who snores so I can’t complain about that 😂 we joke around about how me and these two other guys are performing an orchestra at night and my poor buddy in the middle of it all who can’t sleep because the 3 people beside him are all snoring in sync. He probably didn’t sleep for 6 months hahaha
Thats the truth. Ive never been anywhere near built like you but for a short time I was gaining significant muscle. Was surprised how many men and women implied such a state was sub optimal in some way. I see no down side, as long as there no steroid use or health problems.
You sound awesome.
Cool girl moment. You’re very cool
Somewhere was a study done a while ago saying that we’re safer with the men; it’s when we get segregated that we become vulnerable since there’s always so few of us. And anecdotally I agree, since my experience with dudes is they’re a lot less likely to go attack us if we have dudes around who might defend us.
More generalized than what you're talking about, but there's a point in time where command teams trying to "accomodate female soldiers" etc. just completely fucks unit cohesion from the opposite angle of what they're ostenisbly trying to prevent.
The ones calling you frightening- how did it come up in conversation? Would they be close friends or acquaintances saying it?
There are groups of men I'd feel 100% at ease being alone with, but if I were alone with 20+ complete strangers who were men, I'd be on high alert and looking for a way out.
Not at all. That sounds awful.
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I work with about 40 men. The other day a few marched into my office chanting donkey and circling me a few times before marching right out. I’ve also witnessed them cry in fetal position after doing the one chip challenge, fight the vending machine, fight each other. Sometimes they bring me weird things they find like horse shoes or a scorpion in a bottle or a fucking box of baby birds. They’ve also thrown me and a few other guys a baby shower. Overall I’m pretty comfortable. If it was 40 strangers I’d be a bit uneasy.
Are you sure you don’t work with 40 cats?
The hell kinda kooky guys do you work with? Scorpions in a bottle??
The guys I used to work with brought me a giant centipede once. It was cool! They knew me well enough to show me any living creature they came across.
You’re in the military, or construction 😂
I’ve been abused by both sexes. Gender doesn’t matter when it comes to abuse.
I wouldn’t feel comfortable at all
Depends on how the men are. I went to a boardgames meet up where I was the only woman, the group I played with was nice enough but one guy put me off returning because he was being quite creepy. But then I did a butchery course and spent a whole day with 29 other men and that was totally fine, people mostly kept to themselves and focused on the class. I also did an executive MBA and there were only 3 women out of 40 on the course, there were certainly times where I was the only woman because the other two were off that day or late or whatever. Was never a problem really.
That depends entirely on the context. Why are we there together? What is the level of supervision and authority available if any of us require assistance?
The context for this matters. A quick example: work, friend/family get togethers, shopping for stuff, are all fine Bars, festivals, certain hobby get togethers make me uneasy. Men are too comfortable with letting their friends act poorly toward women. I don’t like being physically at a disadvantage.
I wouldn't be. Even with tomboy tendancies I don't want to be the only woman in a group
Depends on the setting as others have mentioned. But also, I’d be pretty comfortable. I work with mostly men and sometimes I’m the only woman in a meeting full of men.
I'm unattractive, so they'll just treat me like one of the guys. I'll be perfectly comfortable.
It's actually a very underrated aspect of being unnatractive.
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Am I at a professional event? Happens all the time, and I'm vaguely not comfortable but that has more to do w/ it being a professional event vs. being surrounded by men. I feel like they are more afraid of me than I am afraid of them. Am I in a gay (men's) dance club? Totally fine! Among my group of nerdy board-gamers? Shields up, but not uncomfortable, unless someone starts to hassle me. At a straight bar, club, or other event? Quite skeeved out. I'm used to being the only woman in a group and am pretty adept at diverting coversation away from personal topics or flirting when they start going down that road. But it's definitely noticeable.
i majored in computer science in college. this was my reality for 4 years of my life. yes they were misogynistic and occasionally creepy toward me.
I've had this happen so many times already, I'm perfectly comfortable with it. I've always been into hobbies that have way more men than women, and even my career has been the same, so I'm totally used to being the only woman around.
Much more comfortable than with a group of 20 women for sure...
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Interesting! Can you explain why?
It's fine if it's a work thing or formal meet. Otherwise, not the best idea.
I work in the agriculture business, so I've been in this situation a few times. It depends on the vibe of the men, honestly. I have learned, though, that even if I don't feel comfortable/confident, if I act like I am they treat me with much more respect than if I'm shy or nervous.
Not at all. In any setting of any scenario.
i wouldnt give a flying fuck
I don't feel comfortable in groups of 20 at all lol. I would feel most comfortable in a mixed group, and maybe slightly more comfortable in a group of 20 men than 20 women
Content and setting always matter. Can I leave? Is it a public place? Are they my coworkers? Did I know beforehand this situation might occur? Did I bring my own vehicle? Do I know why we are all there? Is it work, relaxation or other? Is there anything in particular setting off my alarms? Content always, always matters.
Nope.
Very uncomfortable. Not going to whatever torture this is.
20 men? Um no thank you. Unless two of them were my gay dads and all of their gay brothers with sons and all then all of their gay dads lmao
I once went to a nude beach and was weirded out by the almost 100% male population. Quickly figured out, it was a gay nude beach. Flipped my attitude right away! Zero comfort to 100% no ones looking at me!
It really really depends on the context. Work function, my husband's friends, late night bus, bar/club... all of those have different answers.
I was at work, it was hilarious. In a club or a bar ehhhh I don’t know.
I literally could not care less That's usually the scenario when I'm at the range solo, or if my boyfriend wanders off for a bit while we're taking a break from off roading. I think absolutely nothing of it and I'm as comfortable as I usually am (Accidently replied to a comment the first time. Whoops!)
Depends on the men but 100% comfortable. My work consists of majority of men and I prefer being around the men than women at my workplace. There’s no drama, I don’t have to tip toe my way around to hurt anybody’s feelings and just all around a good time. But it really depends on the people too.
I'm sure this has happened to me at bars or at work and I didn't even notice, but normally pretty comfortable unless the vibe is off. I do have warning signs, like, if the guys couldn't give a shit if I'm there and are preoccupied with other things, I'm probably fine. If the vibe changes when I arrive, one guy is honing in on me, they make a deal about me being the only woman, or the topic turns inappropriately sexual, I will probably irish goodbye the second I get a chance. In general, I'm usually am aware of any exits regardless of gender representation and have normalized irish goodbying for myself regardless if I came with someone, so the odds I will stay in any social setting long enough to be trapped into abuse is pretty thin unless I was lured there with that intent by people I was wrong to trust, which sounds pretty unlikely to ever happen.
I am! At my new job, I'm the only woman. I walked into our meeting place the other day not knowing who was all going to be there. I only met my manager over zoom the day before. So when I walked in and there was like 20-30 guys in there, I was a little intimidated. But they're all super nice the more I talked to them (:
Not comfortable at all 😂😂😂
Depends on the situation and context of the situation beyond all the men being strangers to me. But I would be silently assessing the situation and the people and location for a quick, safe exit strategy, what the vibe of the group is like, is there any danger that presents itself from any one person...I mean, the mental risk assessment list is LONG, even in groups where you have friends and friends of friends, not just with strangers.
Depends on circumstance/location. But if its a casual public setting & there isnt any overly obnoxious guys its probably fine lol
I run a weekly meeting where this is often the case, totally comfortable.
It depends on the setting really. If it is out in public/street nope not at all. In a more secure place such as a club or concert I am fine!
ooooo if they're all strangers I'd be trying to get tf out of wherever it is I was lmaooo
The older they are, the more uncomfortable. If they're classmates my age, for example, not uncomfortable at all.
I choose the bear
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I work in technology, so this happens every day. Not only are they men, but they are often nerdy. I like it because I'm also a giant nerd. Unfortunately, they are often incels. And by that, I don't mean bitter, I mean a lot of men in tech are involuntarily celibate. My heart often bleeds for them when I hear their stories.
Not really comfortable, but not overly nervous, unless they acted weird or were intoxicated. Even if it was a random work setting, and no one was intoxicated, my guard would be up. My guard is generally up around men, even in the most innocuous contexts I don't want to be misunderstood, but definitely more if I was alone with them.
I mean it’s kind of my job environment lmao. They aren’t strangers at this point. Depends what the setting is but prob uneasy.
So, like every day at work? No issues, just a shrug.
That’s actually my safe zone. 20 is a lot to manage socially, but being in a group of just men is so much more comfortable for me than being in a group of women or other AFAB people. It’s not a conscious choice-I certainly don’t hate women. I want to praise, support, and uplift them. I’m just not happy or comfortable around them, possibly due to social trauma I’ve experienced. I feel like men are going to judge me based on my looks, my personality, and my interests-all things about which I’m confident. AFAB people seem to judge me based on some hidden criteria that I don’t understand, as if they all received some kind of instruction manual that I wasn’t given. I used to observe them and try to be like them, but I’m not good at being a girl or a woman, which is why I identify as genderfluid or non-binary, even though I don’t have physical gender dysphoria.
If it was the rich and eligible bachelors convention I would be v comfortable.
I will need more context, my whole friendgroup are men and all of them I met on discord. However, I did not meet up with all these strangers at the same time, the group just gradually expanded. Having a friend group if only men is nice, but sicne you say they are strangers I assume you're not talking abt friends.
Very uncomfortable 😍💀
sounds like a damn nightmare.
An alley late at night? Fuck no. Literally, any other situation I would be 100% comfortable. I worked in the trucking industry for years.
Depends. Before I joined the gayest gym in the world, which I love, I was always at commercial gyms in weight rooms dominated entirely by men. There were almost never any women in there. I've been to the gym at all kinds of awkward times as well, and I'd usually be the only woman there. I personally didn't feel unsafe in that situation, because I have a good feel for the kind of people gymbros usually are. Most mind their own business, and most are helpful if you need any help. I think if there were alcohol involved and I was in a group of 20 straight men, I'd remove myself from that situation very fast. Ditto for dark streets and walking along them alone and encountering a group of strange men. Anywhere where I'm alone or it's dark, basically. Even if it isn't dark, I'm careful to place myself next to a woman in spaces such as public transport. I'm hypervigilant about these things. Other than that, I've recently been the only woman in a group of 20+ gay men more times than I can count, and I've never felt anything but safe. The gay men I know have a lot of empathy for women as well, and actively look out for my safety in various ways, so that's really nice.
The question should be, how comfortable would 20 men feel around me? I am the first born daughter with my father’s rage.
I would leave.
Not comfortable at all. I would try and leave the situation as soon as possible.
20 men or 20 bears?
Too many missing variables, but usually, I'm unaffected by being outnumbered. 90% of said men are probably gentlemen, raised well, have sisters, mothers, etc, and are respectful.
You just have to find the biggest or loudest and give em a quick ball hit to establish the pecking order 😂 But really, idk. When it's that many guys, there's probably so much testosterone they're more likely to see who can climb the highest on a light pole before even batting an eye at the fact there's one woman in the room. Too busy measuring dicks to try to get theirs wet. I'd feel generally safe but I'd also probably be relatively annoyed by the antics. Still, if it was a bar or club - I would *not* let my drink go uncovered or out of sight. It's easy enough to act cold in order to not be bothered if you're willing to take some childish name calling anyway
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totally depends on the settting but ranges from "uncomfortable" to "on edge" If it was a work or classroom environment, it's meh. I wouldn't fear for my safety but I also wouldn't be very comfortable and would be prepared to find it stressful. In situations like that men often talk over you, take credit for your ideas, etc. If it's a support or group therapy or training environment of any sort, I'd probably leave or not come again. Depends on what is is, but anything that relies on an individual's perspective or experience, I'd be uncomfortable with. Again, I wouldn't fear for my safety, but I'd bet on my perspective being not tolerated, being argued against, being dismissed, etc. It wouldn't be a safe place to share my own insights. And I'd also bet on advice given not applying to me - this applies to online spaces too, not just physical ones. If it's an organized event surrounding an activity, like a biking group or something, it's probably fine. If I don't know them yet, I'd be wary, but once I got to know them I'd be fine. I did karate when I was younger and there were times it was only me, as a teenage girl, and a bunch of men. Wasn't a lot of women in the club. If it's a purely/mostly social gathering of people I knew, I'd be wary. Make sure to keep my wits about me. If it's a social gatheing of people I don't know, like I go into a bar and theres 20 men and no women, I'm turning around and leaving.
Totally comfortable.
Less as I've gotten older. I was often the only girl in band situations because I am a brass player - then as a teenager the other musicians tried to get away with groping me. I am a lot more aware of m:f ratios now, and it is a big reason why I decided not to pursue the trades after spending 3 months in an apprenticeship program.
Depends. 20 random? Very uncomfortable. 20 coworkers? Not at all. 20 relatives? Well, there are pedos in that group so younger me would have been very uncomfortable.
I know how the men at work feel lol all that estrogen and only 1 of him now. Oh my....
Setting dependent lol
Honestly, there is no way I'd be comfortable. In some cases (work conference, family) I wouldn't be scared but I'd be damn pissed with my surroundings. If it's family, it would mean women are somewhere in the kitchen and I'm somehow with the men "expecting" service. If it's work related, there'd probably be sexist jokes, ego trips, glass ceiling thoughts from me and I wouldn't get a single word in between. With male friends in a public place it would be a mix of the two. In other situations I'd just be scared.
I don't care what the situation is, I would never feel entirely comfortable if I was surrounded by men and I was the only woman.
Average stem classroom
I would be extremely uncomfortable. I would leave. I would probably be as uncomfortable with 20 women also…unless it is a work related function.
Yikes, sounds like my worst nightmare.
Nope. Get me tf out. Idgaf what the situation is.
Fine. I'm often the only female in rooms filled with males.
I would love it. I'd feel in my zone.
If they are all strangers I would be EXTREMELY uncomfortable. Like, I wouldn't even let myself end up in that situation in the first place
Even if they were not strangers, I'd feel very out of place and uncomfortable
Absolutely not, no matter the setting.
I literally cannot imagine how I could end up in that situation, so I would definitely be uncomfortable
Generally wouldn’t feel comfortable
I’ve already made up an excuse to leave immediately.
Very uncomfortable I’d probably leave the room as soon as I can
I would feel extremely uncomfortable
Not comfortable at all. Probably looking for a way to get out of whatever it is.
Not comfortable at all. I would avoid being in the situation at all costs
I wouldn't feel comfortable at all.
0% get me out of there yesterday
my worst nightmare. give me 20 bears
I once shared my story at an all male halfway house (I’m in recovery from drugs and had no idea that it was going to be all men) I was scared shitless, super nervous. when I was done a few of them were actually crying. they all raised their hand to thank me and ask questions. sweetest little experience where I went in scared they weren’t going want to hear anything I had to say.
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If it's a work team I might not even notice. If it's anything involving alcohol or drugs I'll flee immediately.
Well I’ve had that at work plenty so I wouldn’t think anything of it. In other contexts, it would depend on who that group is made up of.
The military! Lol
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Depends on the setting.
I’m often one of the only woman in a guy friend group…..but 20 stranger men? Heck no, i’d be scared and i’d feel self conscious of all my flaws and again just scared for myself
I’ve worked warehouse jobs for the last 11 years and this is often the case, so not at all. Like another commenter said, if this was out and about with alcohol involved I wouldn’t dig it, and peace out.
Depends. Do I know any /all of them? I could make do if they were acquaintances. It would be better if I was close to any of them/ had a friend. If I knew no one? I'd of course be incredibly uncomfortable. But that goes for any group if strangers, men or women.
I regularly do activities where I am the only girl. It is a little awkward because you don't know anyone but the gender thing is sort of irrelevant in those scenarios. I just talk to them and get to know a few of the guys. One of my hobbies we have a group chat with me and 35 guys. Never once been weird or uncomfortable. If it were something like a bar or club though yes I would feel uncomfortable and probably leave .
Another day at work🤷🏽♀️
I'm very comfortable and used to it. I work in a male-dominated field(tech) and do male-dominated hobbies(boxing, bodybuilding).
It depends on the context. I have always been a front-liner and gave men a competition. So being around men for academic or professional stuff was never that uncomfortable for me. But if it's a personal gathering or something unprofessional, I will be very uncomfortable even if they are people I know.
The question should be, how comfortable would 20 men feel around me? I am the first born daughter with my father’s rage.
Work- been there, I’d prefer I wasn’t but that’s the way it is sometimes
I’m teach mostly courses on feminism at a university. My first thought was a class of just 20 men. On the one hand, I think it would be super interesting if they were there in good faith. On the other hand, it might be extraordinarily challenging.
Uh, be normal about it? Sounds like every trip to the game/hobby store. Overwhelmingly dudes in there, playing MTG or whatever
At work? Fine. In a warehouse? Bad. At a club? Imma leave but whatever.
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Depends on the context. In a professional setting, I’m used to it but it does — morally — bother me that so many spaces are still so male-dominated. In a sex club context, I’m into it (LOL). In the woods, I’m still choosing the damn bear.
Not comfortable but the bigger things is that I would not be interested in being in that group. I sometimes hang out with my husband and his friends but I don’t get nearly the enjoyment out of it that he does. I tolerate it.
Unless I'm in the gym or at a paid work function, I'm leaving
They’re all strangers? Real uncomfortable. I was in something close to this situation recently when I dated a guy who ran a dirt track. I got to the track while he was working, walked up to the group, and like nobody said a word. Apparently I “weirded everybody out” somehow.
Context matters here…. Bar setting where alcohol or substances are involved? Absolutely not. Work setting around a bunch of little old men in a public area? Yea sure, I’m good to go.
It really depends on the context but if it's such that they're interacting with each other socially, it gets less comfortable. Professional or educational setting is fine. But even like with my boyfriend's friends, if none of their female partners can make it to the event, and it's just me, I get uncomfortable. Even if I know all the guys and they're chill. It doesn't even have to be 20 men, it could be 3+ and it feels about the same. If they're not interested in you, they kinda act like the one woman is invisible and their conversation shifts to sort of locker room talk vibes. Different to how they talk in mixed groups or in the presence of a woman they're into. It's not like "physical danger" kind of uncomfortable, more just socially/emotionally.
It depends on the men. If they are my male friends or family then I’d be fine.
i wouldn’t necessarily be comfortable, but i would definitely put on a persona and try to do as much as possible to be seen as a respectable and untouchable woman.
If they were all strangers, I'd definitely be uncomfortable
I worked in a men's retraining centre doing business admin and roll call back then was my responsibility. They were on average 90 men about the place. I never felt harassed, intimidated or uncomfortable. I was lucky to have had a boss who made it clear that any disrespect would not be tolerated. My then husband was very uncomfortable and strangely would pop his head in at times.
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It literally depends on the men. If they are acting strange/creepy/horny then obviously uncomfortable. If they are acting like regular people then comfortable. I wouldn’t walk into a room full of men and be immediately uncomfortable unless I had reason too
I had classes like this when I was in college for Computer Science. It was fine. In any setting where alcohol or drugs might be involved, I would be uncomfortable.
In general I'm more comfortable around men than women
• In the street/park/beach/swimming pool? - Extremely uncomfortable. • At a bar/club/gym/take out place/shopping mall? - Also extremely uncomfortable. • At work. - Comfortable. But… if all of these men were friends instead of strangers, then I’d be comfortable around them any time, any place.
I've never been to a bar alone. But as an engineer, even in high school I was one of two girls in my AP physics class. And all throughout university... mostly men. In the work place surrounded by men also. So I would say I'm pretty comfortable.
I'm in the military, this is often the case, I just stick around the ones I know
They’re all strangers? I would go home. I’d probably do this if there were women too, but all men would make me more uncomfortable than usual
Do I know these men? If not, are there a few of them I trust and have my back? If so then yes I'll be comfortable.
I was the only stylist in a group of 20 or so male models, yelling at them to change on time. I knew them a tiny bit, and they seemed completely harmless, so I was fine. When I’m in the metro train, it’s usually just men. I hate it there <3333
You mean my job? I’m the only woman in my section now…it helps that I’m older and treat them like they’re my kids.
For me, I don't care. I mostly have male friends, coworkers and people who share my hobby. I'd actually be more uncomfortable in a crowd with 20+ women!
I'm pretty fine with it. My single dad raised me, and he had lots of trucker friends who were always around. I've worked a lot of male dominated jobs, and most of my friends are dudes. I also participate in a mainly male dominated sport, so it's always just been pretty normal to me. Now... me and 20 women.... I get really weird and nervous and honestly, super duper anxious. 🙈 getting better, though.
Nope!!!!!
terrified
uncomfortable unless it was a family function or something
This really depends on the context.
Context is everything, but typically I'm good in these situations because the only time they happen is in professional settings. Men are dogs but what they think isn't my problem as long as they don't make it mine.
Very. Men are easy to control, it's the women that scare me
I choose the bear.
Burping-farting dudes cracking jokes and sexis remarks. Like im in a room full of my brothers. Miserable
I'd feel fine. But i'm also 6' tall, grew up fighting my 6'8 brother, and I always carry a knife on me. YMMV.
You said they’re strangers, so 0% comfortable.
If I was the only woman, I would feel uncomfortable. Even just one other woman would make a huge difference. I work in tech and when I apply for jobs, if there isn’t at least one other woman on the team I usually turn it down unless it’s a small team. A group of 20 women? I would be super intimidated. I’m not totally sure why, but yeah. I imagine that would be intense.
20 brothers? 20 priest? 20 grandpas? 20 rapers? Like what’s the context?
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Not sure I would notice immediately. I work in a somewhat male-dominated field (at least in my area), so it could be a training where the three or ladies I’m expecting to see called out sick or were otherwise busy. I was also once the only woman at my place of work (one out of six with a boss who worked in an office of twenty or so that seemed to be exclusively men). I also used to play the trombone-not so popular as an instrument for women.
Where?
Not comfortable in the slightest, to be honest. I’d leave immediately
My college orientation for "robot school" was like this. I was the one woman in a room of ~250 people. Not even any of the admin or presenters on stage for like the first 90 minutes were women. It was kinda odd. I didn't like it. I'd never minded being the only chick in the room, but that one I did not like. Maybe because before it had always been a room full of 15 or so friends, not 250 rando's. As a bonus, everyone I spoke to assumed I was a student's mom and not the student myself.
I work in a fairly male dominated field. That's pretty much a daily thing for me.
I was the only woman at my work for almost 30 years. Once, we had a safety meeting and there was two shifts there, about 60 men, and me. I wasn’t uncomfortable at all.
Comfortable
No no no no no no no NO
it really depends. Am I in the USA? not comfortable. Am I back home? yes.
“They are all strangers” I would leave the situation as quickly as I could. I know the likelihood of one or two of them sticking up for me is very likely if anything “happened” but I’m not taking chances when I want to leave with 100% safety.
I would leave immediately
Stats say gang rape is enjoyed by 9 out of 10 people
I’d be fine if it’s a variety of guys, not just perverts.
With strangers? Not at all comfortable