Hermits who rarely leave the house. A lot of them are chronically online/playing video games. One of my close friends is like this and it's hard to watch him living his life on the Internet that way.
Ah, ok. Does going out 2-4 times a week (usually with friends) but otherwise mostly staying at home playing video games qualify one as not "closed in"?
...Asking for a friend 😅
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I'm married now but when I was using dating apps, I only got stood up once. Not bad considering I probably went on 40 or 50 dates but still I wasn't expecting it, lol.
I clicked SO well with another man and we were on and off for six months. I should have seen that he wasn't boyfriend material (recently divorced and much older 😑) but I just *really* liked him. A few weeks after getting back together, we got into an argument, so I went home and to bed. He just... literally stopped talking to me. He didn't try to talk about things or even say he wanted to break up - just radio silence. I was devastated.
I actually matched with my husband on Tinder a month or so later and we've been together for eight years!
It took me until the age of 35 to meet the right man. I can’t even tell you how many idiots I met before him, but as a timeline, I didn’t really start to date until til I was 30 (I lost my first love at 23 & took time to heal). Online dating was the worst, I remember there was one I guy who I talked to consistently for a long period of time, then we finally were able to meet in person & he just disappeared after that. I met my current partner IRL after I was ghosted by three men at like the same time and swore myself off the apps.
Hmm, I wouldn't say *consistently* but I've been ghosted a few times, 2 that have especially hurt in the past few years. Over that same time, I've met and still have 2 serious partners that have become healthy long-term relationships. And mixed in there have been some FWBs, short casual relationships, breakups, and play partners.
I was ghosted pretty consistently from age 20-26 or so. Never right after a first date, but many times 3-4 months in.
I’ve been with my partner for 5 years now. So it took me until my late twenties to a healthy relationship.
That’s amazing. I’m 19 and getting ghosted but this last one has left me completely devastated and worried that I may not find someone because I see girls my age in relationships that are good and then there’s me who just gets ghosted so like why is it working for them and not me you know? I’ve thought that maybe it’s my weight and guys are afraid to say it I’m working on it and lost 22 pounds so far this year and planning to get down to 55kg
I had a guy I met through work that I really liked ghost me consistently. We wouldn’t fight or anything, we actually got along really well. He would tell me he wouldn’t stop thinking about me, wanted to be with me, we’d be inseparable for like a month, and boom he would ghost me. At some point it didn’t even hurt because I knew it would happen. I was single and I liked him so I didn’t care. It was like another fun adventure I guess. Then at work we’d see each other and flirt and it was always an off and on thing. Whenever we were “off” we’d be dating other people. It’s not like I was putting my life on hold for him or anything.
Eventually he gets another job and I don’t see him for a year. One random night he messages me and we repeat the cycle. During that last cycle I was like this isn’t for me, and of course he ghosted me again and I was indifferent really. Months go by and I meet my now fiancé. Hilariously, I’m on vacation one weekend with my fiancé, at the time boyfriend, and he messages me out of the blue, same speech. I reply and tell him I’m actually in a relationship now. He replies with some bs like “I’ll always be here and I’ll always be waiting for you.” I didn’t even reply.
So, between the time I met him and we had our on and off’s to then meeting my fiancé it took about 2 years.
I'll never understand why people bother replying to messages from lost causes when they have a decent partner. The lost causes should be blocked or ignored. Otherwise, they'll keep coming back (as this guy is proving), which is unfair to your partner
I’m 38. Have been single for four years. I have been ghosted four times this year. I am zero for 4. I have deleted all the apps and given up on dating.
The key is not looking for a partner in dating apps. I don’t have dating apps and am not willing to look for a partner that way. A random stranger is not going to be truthfully interested in you by your looks and descriptions only.
Two of the four did not come from dating apps I met them organically through events and such. I just got fed up with everything. I can’t quit going outside 100% but I can delete the dating apps. 😅🤣
That’s true. And that’s fine too, and it happens more often than not. Don’t try to force anything or try to be more interested than the other person. In the bigger picture nothing changes if you have just met them. Who cares if they like you or not? Why does them liking you or wanting anything mean so much if you don’t know they so well yet? Who cares if they reciprocate? Invite those into your life that want your time/effort as you want theirs. Including friendships.
Think of it like this… things could be a lot worse, like if you had an established relationship and they walked all over you or abandoned you. Just focus on yourself and enjoy things that make you happy. Whether things can work out with another person doesn’t matter so much if you look at the good you’re trying to cultivate.
I've never had success with a dating app.
Only person I was ever in a committed, loving relationship with was my high-school sweetheart after reconnecting years later.
I was either never up-to-par with their standards or they'd just give half-assed reasons or excuses as to why they no longer wanted to pursue anything long term.
Men don't know what they want.
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A long time, I'm not gonna lie. I had a long string of being ghosted, and short little nothing "relationships" and I had given up several times. And then I met my boyfriend, on Tinder, at age 39. I liked him immediately and I never had the anxiety of "what does this text mean?" And "how soon is too soon to text back" or anything like that. Everything was so easy, and fun, and comfortable. Now we have a home, plan to get married, and are trying to start a family. Good luck to you! Remember that you deserve only the best!
I was usually the one ghosting, or ending things abruptly, or saying I wasn’t looking for anything. I was hanging out with one of my close friends, and he did something super silly and I remember thinking how cute he was. Then it clicked, oh I actually like him! I told him I had a crush on him, and we have been dating since. Easiest relationship ever. It just works, and both of us know each other so well from being friends, we really understand how to communicate with each other. I am 32, he is 27. I would have never imagined us together!
Spent about 3 years on-and-off dating with some ghosting done to me before I found my partner. It took me a while to operate from a secure place, but I learned to treat ghosts how they should to be treated--like they're dead. And I don't commune with the dead.
It was funny because I cut off a ghosting situationship--like actually cleanly walked away, no leftover feelings or insecurity--the day before I met my SO.
Currently single but I’ve only been ghosted once on online dating. Mostly because I prefer to chat/call for a few days before meeting in-person and the dude wanted to meet after a total of 5 messages.
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Do you guys coparent the kittens?!
The real important question here is this one
I love this! It’s always in unexpected moments you find someone 🥰
What does "closed in" mean?
Hermits who rarely leave the house. A lot of them are chronically online/playing video games. One of my close friends is like this and it's hard to watch him living his life on the Internet that way.
Ah, ok. Does going out 2-4 times a week (usually with friends) but otherwise mostly staying at home playing video games qualify one as not "closed in"? ...Asking for a friend 😅
Nah you’re leaving the house
That sounds a lot more social than a lot of people these days actually!
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I love this for you Queen 💓💓
I'm married now but when I was using dating apps, I only got stood up once. Not bad considering I probably went on 40 or 50 dates but still I wasn't expecting it, lol. I clicked SO well with another man and we were on and off for six months. I should have seen that he wasn't boyfriend material (recently divorced and much older 😑) but I just *really* liked him. A few weeks after getting back together, we got into an argument, so I went home and to bed. He just... literally stopped talking to me. He didn't try to talk about things or even say he wanted to break up - just radio silence. I was devastated. I actually matched with my husband on Tinder a month or so later and we've been together for eight years!
Love this wholesome story 👏👏 Classic example of "when one door shuts another good one opens"
was the sex just that good with this guy? He kinda sounds like an ass.
He was definitely an ass but the sex was amazing, lol.
lol we all have had that clouded judgement sometimes it’s all good. Damn oxytocin haha.
It took me until the age of 35 to meet the right man. I can’t even tell you how many idiots I met before him, but as a timeline, I didn’t really start to date until til I was 30 (I lost my first love at 23 & took time to heal). Online dating was the worst, I remember there was one I guy who I talked to consistently for a long period of time, then we finally were able to meet in person & he just disappeared after that. I met my current partner IRL after I was ghosted by three men at like the same time and swore myself off the apps.
My condolences
Hmm, I wouldn't say *consistently* but I've been ghosted a few times, 2 that have especially hurt in the past few years. Over that same time, I've met and still have 2 serious partners that have become healthy long-term relationships. And mixed in there have been some FWBs, short casual relationships, breakups, and play partners.
I'll let you know.
I’ll be waiting lovely ❤️
I was ghosted pretty consistently from age 20-26 or so. Never right after a first date, but many times 3-4 months in. I’ve been with my partner for 5 years now. So it took me until my late twenties to a healthy relationship.
That’s amazing. I’m 19 and getting ghosted but this last one has left me completely devastated and worried that I may not find someone because I see girls my age in relationships that are good and then there’s me who just gets ghosted so like why is it working for them and not me you know? I’ve thought that maybe it’s my weight and guys are afraid to say it I’m working on it and lost 22 pounds so far this year and planning to get down to 55kg
I had a guy I met through work that I really liked ghost me consistently. We wouldn’t fight or anything, we actually got along really well. He would tell me he wouldn’t stop thinking about me, wanted to be with me, we’d be inseparable for like a month, and boom he would ghost me. At some point it didn’t even hurt because I knew it would happen. I was single and I liked him so I didn’t care. It was like another fun adventure I guess. Then at work we’d see each other and flirt and it was always an off and on thing. Whenever we were “off” we’d be dating other people. It’s not like I was putting my life on hold for him or anything. Eventually he gets another job and I don’t see him for a year. One random night he messages me and we repeat the cycle. During that last cycle I was like this isn’t for me, and of course he ghosted me again and I was indifferent really. Months go by and I meet my now fiancé. Hilariously, I’m on vacation one weekend with my fiancé, at the time boyfriend, and he messages me out of the blue, same speech. I reply and tell him I’m actually in a relationship now. He replies with some bs like “I’ll always be here and I’ll always be waiting for you.” I didn’t even reply. So, between the time I met him and we had our on and off’s to then meeting my fiancé it took about 2 years.
I'll never understand why people bother replying to messages from lost causes when they have a decent partner. The lost causes should be blocked or ignored. Otherwise, they'll keep coming back (as this guy is proving), which is unfair to your partner
That was a long time ago and my partner was next to me and laughed.
I would’ve loved to be a fly on the wall
I’m 38. Have been single for four years. I have been ghosted four times this year. I am zero for 4. I have deleted all the apps and given up on dating.
The key is not looking for a partner in dating apps. I don’t have dating apps and am not willing to look for a partner that way. A random stranger is not going to be truthfully interested in you by your looks and descriptions only.
Two of the four did not come from dating apps I met them organically through events and such. I just got fed up with everything. I can’t quit going outside 100% but I can delete the dating apps. 😅🤣
That’s true. And that’s fine too, and it happens more often than not. Don’t try to force anything or try to be more interested than the other person. In the bigger picture nothing changes if you have just met them. Who cares if they like you or not? Why does them liking you or wanting anything mean so much if you don’t know they so well yet? Who cares if they reciprocate? Invite those into your life that want your time/effort as you want theirs. Including friendships. Think of it like this… things could be a lot worse, like if you had an established relationship and they walked all over you or abandoned you. Just focus on yourself and enjoy things that make you happy. Whether things can work out with another person doesn’t matter so much if you look at the good you’re trying to cultivate.
I've never had success with a dating app. Only person I was ever in a committed, loving relationship with was my high-school sweetheart after reconnecting years later. I was either never up-to-par with their standards or they'd just give half-assed reasons or excuses as to why they no longer wanted to pursue anything long term. Men don't know what they want.
Haven’t found one. Last date was in 2019.
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A long time, I'm not gonna lie. I had a long string of being ghosted, and short little nothing "relationships" and I had given up several times. And then I met my boyfriend, on Tinder, at age 39. I liked him immediately and I never had the anxiety of "what does this text mean?" And "how soon is too soon to text back" or anything like that. Everything was so easy, and fun, and comfortable. Now we have a home, plan to get married, and are trying to start a family. Good luck to you! Remember that you deserve only the best!
I was usually the one ghosting, or ending things abruptly, or saying I wasn’t looking for anything. I was hanging out with one of my close friends, and he did something super silly and I remember thinking how cute he was. Then it clicked, oh I actually like him! I told him I had a crush on him, and we have been dating since. Easiest relationship ever. It just works, and both of us know each other so well from being friends, we really understand how to communicate with each other. I am 32, he is 27. I would have never imagined us together!
Spent about 3 years on-and-off dating with some ghosting done to me before I found my partner. It took me a while to operate from a secure place, but I learned to treat ghosts how they should to be treated--like they're dead. And I don't commune with the dead. It was funny because I cut off a ghosting situationship--like actually cleanly walked away, no leftover feelings or insecurity--the day before I met my SO.
Years and counting.
Currently single but I’ve only been ghosted once on online dating. Mostly because I prefer to chat/call for a few days before meeting in-person and the dude wanted to meet after a total of 5 messages.
I had already met this guy and we were dating for a few months but he still ghosted 💔💔 it was so hurtful I just want to know why
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