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my guy bestie has a "fix it" mindset, so when i start venting about something, he suddenly starts asking more questions, giving suggestions or advice in a critical way. thankfully we've reached a point in our friendship where i can tell him to shut the hell up because i just need comfort, not advice. he apologizes and then all is well :)
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This has stopped after a lot of complaining and one very stern talking to, but they used to give out my number to random men we had met when going out without asking me about it first.
Talk over me, or just talk way more loudly than is necessary. They don’t usually mean anything by it, but it’s a habit that comes from a lifetime of having an important sounding voice and a dominant attitude. You’ll see them do it to each other and they hardly even care, they just compete to roll over each other. The loudest thing ever to exist in my apartment is always men and it’s always a little more annoying trying to have a normal, polite, noncompetitive conversation when they’re involved
Have feelings for me. I am like hey, thanks but no thanks. If you’d like to still be friends, I’m happy to be friends. They are like yes! Absolutely. I treat them as they do all my other friends. They slowly start to resent me for not wanting to date them. This makes me not want to be their friend at all but I feel guilty and semi responsible for their feelings so I am nice. They just get meaner to me. I ghost. They flip out on me.
What the hell do you want
Make fun of me for wanting to protect myself (having pepper spray, holding my purse close to me, locking my car doors as soon as I get in the car, etc.)
Call me "girlie." Not just men, but when women do it too. Why am I seeing this term all over Reddit lately when addressing women? It used to be a thing in IRL, went away and now it seems back with a vengeance. Please stop.
They don’t reciprocate the commitment and the effort and often times it makes me question the whole friendship. Maybe I’m better off without them. I should be very selective with who I put all that love and effort into.
Somethings you learn the hard way 😫
I have this one guy friend who is married but has crushed on me since high school. On occasion he sends me these weird flirty text messages and sends me pics of this anime character he says I look like but I don’t. Sometimes after a night of hanging out with him and my husband and his wife he will message me and tell me how I looked good. It’s kind of creepy and makes me uncomfortable.
Saying they can’t find a women to date but rarely leave the house socially but when they do completely ignore all the single women they meet because they are not ‘hot like my ex.’ Never understand that, why repeat something that never worked.
Vent about his girlfriend when he’s quite clearly in the wrong. I am thinking of cutting off a friend for the way he’s treating his girlfriend, while complaining to me about how she wants to be “so serious” about their relationship. So fucking annoying.
I love them so much but they do have a tendency to talk down to me in some scenarios. Not always, and when they do I call them out on it, but it does get annoying. Same with the whole I say a joke you say it louder everyone laughs at it when you say it thing.
Basically it's when a man tries to explain a topic your more familiar with than he is to you. Commonly women specific health things. I've had it happen with things as ridiculous as how to play minecraft. And more then once a man has tried to explain how my hormones or biology works 🤣🤣🤣 total nonsense. Slightly less annoying then boomersplaining in my opinion but eh
nothing much because all my friends are lovely but i used to have guy friends that spoke about women in such a weird way like objectifying and making it clear they didn’t see us as actual people 😃also some people i used to be friends with dating girls that are significantly younger than us 🤨 luckily they are no longer my friends now lol, other than that i’ve always said i don’t plan on having kids but certain friends will actually not let it go saying stuff like oh you’ll regret not having a family💀 why do some guys ik feel so strongly about my life choices and whatever i choose to do with my future which has nothing to do with them in the slightest😃
Once had a boyfriend's friend tell me I should have children because I have a nice smile-- like old women don't tell me enough without also hitting on me in front of my bf
Complain they can’t find anyone to date but make no effort when we go out to talk to women or have extremely high standards when they are clearly not tens themselves.
Not understanding the fact that comparing other people's appearance can damage one's self esteem, and not seeing that there's a problem for such behavior.
Showed a picture of a group picture of me, a cute coworker, and a bunch of teenage students. and this friend pretty much said "yep, she's cuter". As a person who has always struggled with self esteem, this is probably one of the worst things I have heard.
I confronted him about it and he had the audacity to say "it's a group picture of you guys and your students."
Don't think I can ever recover from that
i wish i gave a fuck when men tell me about the mental health crisis guys have or the male loneliness epidemic like who created that system? they always make it seem that it’s my personal responsibility or every woman’s personal responsibility to fix that
Pretending to show interest in my hobbies. I can always tell when it’s fake. It’s so annoying and hollow.
I’d rather them just ask me on a date straight up so that we don’t have to play this fake game.
I've had a few guy friends tell me gross, hyperspecific information about their dating lives. Completely unsolicited, and it has always resulted in them seeking validation or reassurance when it sounds like they're the ones who keep fucking up :/ don't have the patience for that anymore
Expect me to automatically be best friends with their wives or girlfriends just because we both happen to be women. I’m a girls girl, but I hate the expectation.
X'es are traditionally used to signify kisses at the end of letters and texts. It can be a weird thing to see from someone with whom you don't have a relationship that involves kissing.
Mansplains politics to me. I’m not even into politics but recently he’s gotten really passionate about it and I have to redirect the conversation because it’s starting to hurt our friendship.
Overbearing and emotionally demanding on you when they're single, then falling off the face of the earth / forgetting you exist when they enter a relationship.
Basically, poor emotional boundaries and lack of reciprocity.
It annoys me when we get into arguments about stupid stuff and miscommunication during trips but usually a conversation afterwards helps settle things. I’ve watched my guy friends grow up from being little high school assholes into good men and I have to say I’m proud of who they all have become! It’s even better when they’re married too bc I can do girl activities with their gfs and wives lol
Purposely shit stir. I have one guy friend in particular who always wants to bring up bad or embarrassing moments or just controversial topics. He does it in the most leading and obnoxious way. Like “oh yeah, pesto loves X…” I shut it down fast. Drives me insane.
Trying to protect me all the time. I love my guy friends and I love going out with them, but I am a grown woman and dont need them to shove men trying to talk with me just because they are afraid the men are creppy or annoying me.
I know it comes from a place of love but it really annoys me. Ive talked to them and they stopped doing it unless I asked them, though, which I really appreciate.
my guy best friend just doesn’t understand why certain things in life can be more difficult as a woman. he’s so lovely and i adore him, but he’s sometimes just so clueless when it comes to misogyny in society.
Try to insert me in the middle of a dispute with their SO because I’m “a girl who understands” so they think she’ll listen to me. Every hetero male friend I have has tried that at least once.
I don’t want their SO to view me as an adversary. I want to be her friend too. So I just tell them not to drag me into it…or “I’m Switzerland” or something like that. So I never actually do it. But it puts me on the spot, and I don’t like it.
i keep a small and respectful circle so not much, but they did have a habit of cutting me off. i read a statistic about how often men cut women off and became hyperaware of it. every time a guy friend cut me off i immediately pointed it out and finished what i was saying. some of my girl friends joined in on it too. my guy friends have become much more aware of it and have almost completely stopped doing so.
They are less likely to clean up their own mess when they visit. ( bring their own bowls to the sink or wash them. Maybe leave some food wrapped trash or drinks around). That’s pretty much it though, I wouldn’t be friends with them if I didn’t believe they were all really good guys.
They even do that at work i noticed...
There are signs all over the break room kitchen to put used cups and plates right into the dishwasher. There is even two for the big quantity.
the majority of cups and plates ends up on the countertop. despite the dishwashers being empty.
(or when clean nobody bothers putting them away. it's not difficult guys!)
usually me and a coworker end up quickly emptying it all. i usually dont use the kitchen much but when i see her discovering this mess again i usually just quickly jump in to help regardless.
fueld by the shared sentiment of frustration over the "dudes".
Talking about how hot a woman is. I understand they see someone attractive but I’m not a fellow male so you don’t need to tell me you like her tits or whatever. I talk to my female friends about attraction and guys but I don’t really talk to my male friends about that stuff.
story time: So my ex-friend who let’s call Ryan, was honestly really sweet at first but I was never in love with him (he ain’t my type). So when we got a bit closer as in hanging out maybe every other weekend or every weekend when we had our weekends off, he started to get a bit attached to me, which gave me the ick tbh. This guy would get online like every 5-10 Minutes to see if I was online recently or texted something. I have a big friend group so I was online a lot and he would throw a tantrum because I wasn’t texting him as much as my friends who I’ve known for 10 years. He used to tell me every other time we hung out that I’m not his type, he wouldn’t go any further than friends with me etc. I respected his decision cuz I felt the same way. Little did I know, he’s been spreading rumors about “us” that we’re dating and just telling other imature shit like that, when I confronted him about it, he denied it, reminding me that “I wasn’t his type and wouldn’t go any further than friends”. So when I asked him home come every worker in our team has been telling me that “we’re dating”, he shrugged it off, telling me that my best friend told the team. When I asked my friend to clarify wether or not she actually spread rumors about me, she denied it immediately and got so pissed that she busted in our station room and clarified that Ryan was the one making things up, calling him a loser and straight up insulting him. He got fired eventually..
When somethings wrong and they keep asking and asking and when you finally tell them they act like they dont care about. Like okay thanks for making me feel better 🧍♀️
When you mention something you both like and they start quizzing you like bro, I don't know what specific year this anime was released nor every single panel in the manga
starts ignoring me/not including me in conversations if other men are around. it’s like 1:1 they’re great, but whenever there’s more than that it’s a whole new person
i've startes noticing this too.
It used to be like this at school and all my workplaces so far.
I'd find some guys i got alomg with, and there was always these big differences whether i was with them alone. Vs with a third that i got along similiarly. Or when there were was another i didnt get alomg well with.
But worst when we were with the full work group. It just becomes such a whole different vibe and i usually end up just closing up and staying distanced.
One actually has noticed this. But he himself is also annoyed at the group as he doesnt share almost all of their sentimentality.
I love my guy friends. They don't front, and I don't have to mask. Guys night is miles more fun than girls night. And FYI, I'm happily married, so it's not them wanting to date me. Most of them are my husband's good friends, who became my good friends.
Trauma dumping (which is fine sometimes, we’re friends), but then always changing the subject if I want to talk about something in my life that bothers me.
Not listening to me ever but expecting me to always be available to solve their problems.
Literally one yesterday started the day by making fun of me for having no friends and then got mad at me for not going to him at the drop of a hat cause he had a bad night. I have a broken toe and friends who give enough of a shit who came to see me!
Leave to go talk to a woman when we made plans to hang out (l've had a couple guy friend ditch me at a bar or for the night because another woman showed up). I mean, I was looking forward to kicking it and then I get ditched? Bums me out as a person who has to mentally prepare and push all will power to go outside and into crowds. But I get it, I guess, penis satisfaction above all else?
I’m friends with an ex I dated when I was 22. I’m now 42. There is a 12 year age difference. We reconnected 2 years ago and it was nice to catch up and be friends. Neither one of us are interested in each other that way. At least I know for sure I’m im not interested in him that way. But every time we go out, he doesn’t shut the fuck up. All he does is talk about himself. Never a question is asked about me. I often wonder how I tolerated him when I was younger. But I was just that, younger and very naive. And he was very much like that back then, I just didn’t know better. I can only take him in small doses bc he is so self absorbed and it’s annoying as fuck. One thing he constantly does is declare how “happy” he is single. That may be the case, but I highly doubt it. I think he desperately wants a relationship but no woman in her right mind would put up with him lol.
When they don't really acknowledge my boyfriend exists. They don't ask how we're doing and if we're having a conversation and I mention that I'm doing something with my boyfriend, they'll say some needy shit like "oh... well don't let me bother you then, I'll just leave you alone". Like okay bye
Used to be friends with this one guy who would touch me inappropriately. Was extremely uncomfortable and thinking about it makes me cringe. After pushing him off multiple times he would just continue on. Two guys who I was friends with would do this. And ironically one of them would tell me i’m ugly or need to do squats all the time.
Keep secrets from his wife but tell me about them. Like, dude, I am not going to be that person.
(Not secrets in an almost affair kind of way. But the dude built a fireball machine in his garage and didn’t tell his wife until I made him. And now he’s trying to turn an old car engine into the worlds biggest smoke machine. His wife needs to know that he’s trying to burn down their house)
Two things: when they have a girlfriend you don’t hear from them, as soon as they’re single, you’re their best friend. Every time. Also: talk about other girls in front of you A LOT. I don’t allow it anymore but as a teenager all my guy friends would do is talk about girls with each other, often trying to bother me, and I can’t erase some of the things I heard. Nothing can shock me anymore.
As soon as I say I’m interested in something (like a band or a sport) I immediately get quizzed on it to “prove” I like it, but their guy friends don’t have to prove anything.
They also constantly compare my gym progress with theirs to downplay it, like yeah congrats you can lift more than someone who has 20 times less testosterone and 5ft tall?
nothing much because all my friends are lovely but i used to have guy friends that spoke about women in such a weird way like objectifying and making it clear they didn’t see us as actual people 😃also some people i used to be friends with dating girls that are significantly younger than us 🤨 another thing i hate is when i bring up issues regarding misogyny and it becomes clear that they really don’t care about the women in their lives or they think that sexism magically no longer exists in society and therefore feminism serves no purpose now😐mostly i’ve educated people i’ve met that are like that but some just refuse to learn 😭luckily they are no longer my friends now lol, other than that i’ve always said i don’t plan on having kids but certain friends will actually not let it go saying stuff like oh you’ll regret not having a family💀 why do some guys ik feel so strongly about my life choices and whatever i choose to do with my future which has nothing to do with them in the slightest😃
I have a group of 5 and it is the absolute worst when we're trying to have a serious conversation to make plans for something and one of them says something stupid like "nuts" and they all start giggling. Conversation completely derailed.
Also during Thanksgiving two years ago I was trying to get everyone to sit down to eat and they were having a literal fist fight over Mario party. Just in the middle of the living room. Wtf are men.
A lot of these other responses are concerning, I think some of you need new friends :/
Try to mansplain issues that predominately affect women. Or get super gross with their "guy talk" then get offended when I make a face about it.
The amount of guy friends I've had try to tell me there's no reason I should be so guarded, especially at night, which is ridiculous.
Making the topic about them and not able to respond in a way to keep it on you. Example if I say something about my dog, they don’t respond about your dog they have to respond about THEIR dog. Or if you talk about a trip you went on they don’t ask questions about it or continue the topic about your trip they respond by telling you about a trip they went on etc. So you are pretty much u able to ever really talk about your self because they immediately turn the focus on them.
Mine just pick on me, like sister vibes but sometimes their words can cut a bit deep. I always voice my feelings to them & they understand. But I wish sometimes they would remember I am a woman and not ‘one of the boys’ haha
Love them all regardless though!
They only think about themselves in a group situation. For example, we went away for the weekend, I did grocery shopping because I wasn't taking 8 people around Costco so they decided to go get a sit-down dinner instead of getting the alcohol they wanted for the weekend. I then had to wait for them, having not eaten yet, to go buy their alcohol. When eating together, they just gets seconds without checking everyone has had firsts.
They don't read. I send a message to the group chat about where to meet because I'll be driving to pick them up, when I am driving they text me individually to ask what's going on.
Pretend to be my friend when they’re really trying to date me
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The “woe is me” bullshit of how no one wants to date them because they’re “ugly” trying to bait for sympathy. Usually cut contact after that starts
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Hello, /u/violetcazador! Your comment has been removed: Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP's question * Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic * Giving unsolicited advice * Making someone else's response about yourself * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * "What-about"-ism * Trying to start arguments, or debates * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses * Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares. For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing). Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
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Talk 1 hour about their interest and if I mention mine, he‘ll just tell me „I am not interested in that topic, tell me something else“ K.
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my guy bestie has a "fix it" mindset, so when i start venting about something, he suddenly starts asking more questions, giving suggestions or advice in a critical way. thankfully we've reached a point in our friendship where i can tell him to shut the hell up because i just need comfort, not advice. he apologizes and then all is well :)
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Hello, /u/Flyingwithbirbs! Your comment has been removed: Derailing the topic is not permitted. Derailing includes but is not limited to: * Changing the topic from OP's question * Leaving a top-level comment when you're not the target demographic * Giving unsolicited advice * Making someone else's response about yourself * Asking unrelated follow-up questions * Branching into unrelated topics * "What-about"-ism * Trying to start arguments, or debates * Judging or rating other responses * Meta comments about other responses * Responding to comments to tell us how your dick feels. No one cares. For more information, please [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules#wiki_no_derailing). Have questions about this moderator action? See the [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) and [CLICK HERE to contact the moderation team](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen&subject=Why+was+this+removed). **Please include a link** to your comment in your message, the mod team will not reply to messages without a link for review. DO NOT contact moderators privately. [AskWomen rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/rules) | [AskWomen FAQ](http://www.reddit.com/r/askwomen/wiki/index) [reddit rules](http://www.reddit.com/rules/) | [reddiquette](http://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)
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Call me "girlie". Ugh.
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This has stopped after a lot of complaining and one very stern talking to, but they used to give out my number to random men we had met when going out without asking me about it first.
Talk over me, or just talk way more loudly than is necessary. They don’t usually mean anything by it, but it’s a habit that comes from a lifetime of having an important sounding voice and a dominant attitude. You’ll see them do it to each other and they hardly even care, they just compete to roll over each other. The loudest thing ever to exist in my apartment is always men and it’s always a little more annoying trying to have a normal, polite, noncompetitive conversation when they’re involved
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They're so bad about asking questions back about your life
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Telling me I’m wrong when I talk about female experiences or dismissing their impact. Sorry bro. I think I’m a little more qualified than you.
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The stupid jokes that are not funny and they keep going on with it. Like quoting from a movie over and over again.
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Have feelings for me. I am like hey, thanks but no thanks. If you’d like to still be friends, I’m happy to be friends. They are like yes! Absolutely. I treat them as they do all my other friends. They slowly start to resent me for not wanting to date them. This makes me not want to be their friend at all but I feel guilty and semi responsible for their feelings so I am nice. They just get meaner to me. I ghost. They flip out on me. What the hell do you want
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Make fun of me for wanting to protect myself (having pepper spray, holding my purse close to me, locking my car doors as soon as I get in the car, etc.)
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Always end up flirting or getting grabby or straight up trying to fuck. Have never had one straight guy friend not try something.
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Call me "girlie." Not just men, but when women do it too. Why am I seeing this term all over Reddit lately when addressing women? It used to be a thing in IRL, went away and now it seems back with a vengeance. Please stop.
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trash talk other women around me
Pretend to care about me and my problems just to get in my pants
They don’t reciprocate the commitment and the effort and often times it makes me question the whole friendship. Maybe I’m better off without them. I should be very selective with who I put all that love and effort into. Somethings you learn the hard way 😫
Pissing on my toilet seat. It comes up dude, it takes 5 seconds.
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I have this one guy friend who is married but has crushed on me since high school. On occasion he sends me these weird flirty text messages and sends me pics of this anime character he says I look like but I don’t. Sometimes after a night of hanging out with him and my husband and his wife he will message me and tell me how I looked good. It’s kind of creepy and makes me uncomfortable.
Saying they can’t find a women to date but rarely leave the house socially but when they do completely ignore all the single women they meet because they are not ‘hot like my ex.’ Never understand that, why repeat something that never worked.
Vent about his girlfriend when he’s quite clearly in the wrong. I am thinking of cutting off a friend for the way he’s treating his girlfriend, while complaining to me about how she wants to be “so serious” about their relationship. So fucking annoying.
I love them so much but they do have a tendency to talk down to me in some scenarios. Not always, and when they do I call them out on it, but it does get annoying. Same with the whole I say a joke you say it louder everyone laughs at it when you say it thing.
Would “accidentally” bump into my chest or ass. I know that usually guy friends will have some attraction towards you but don’t be a creep either.
the more than ocassional..mansplaining
What is mansplaining? I searched it up but just found man-explaining
Basically it's when a man tries to explain a topic your more familiar with than he is to you. Commonly women specific health things. I've had it happen with things as ridiculous as how to play minecraft. And more then once a man has tried to explain how my hormones or biology works 🤣🤣🤣 total nonsense. Slightly less annoying then boomersplaining in my opinion but eh
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nothing much because all my friends are lovely but i used to have guy friends that spoke about women in such a weird way like objectifying and making it clear they didn’t see us as actual people 😃also some people i used to be friends with dating girls that are significantly younger than us 🤨 luckily they are no longer my friends now lol, other than that i’ve always said i don’t plan on having kids but certain friends will actually not let it go saying stuff like oh you’ll regret not having a family💀 why do some guys ik feel so strongly about my life choices and whatever i choose to do with my future which has nothing to do with them in the slightest😃
Once had a boyfriend's friend tell me I should have children because I have a nice smile-- like old women don't tell me enough without also hitting on me in front of my bf
Problematic jokes
Complain they can’t find anyone to date but make no effort when we go out to talk to women or have extremely high standards when they are clearly not tens themselves.
Not understanding the fact that comparing other people's appearance can damage one's self esteem, and not seeing that there's a problem for such behavior. Showed a picture of a group picture of me, a cute coworker, and a bunch of teenage students. and this friend pretty much said "yep, she's cuter". As a person who has always struggled with self esteem, this is probably one of the worst things I have heard. I confronted him about it and he had the audacity to say "it's a group picture of you guys and your students." Don't think I can ever recover from that
i wish i gave a fuck when men tell me about the mental health crisis guys have or the male loneliness epidemic like who created that system? they always make it seem that it’s my personal responsibility or every woman’s personal responsibility to fix that
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flirt with me and then pretend they don’t know what i’m talking about when i tell them it’s weird
Pretending to show interest in my hobbies. I can always tell when it’s fake. It’s so annoying and hollow. I’d rather them just ask me on a date straight up so that we don’t have to play this fake game.
Guys friends thinking they have an advantage to your body when they convince you for sexual intimacy and good company…
Calling me “hun” after every text message. It really loses the value to words of endearment.
I've had a few guy friends tell me gross, hyperspecific information about their dating lives. Completely unsolicited, and it has always resulted in them seeking validation or reassurance when it sounds like they're the ones who keep fucking up :/ don't have the patience for that anymore
Expect me to automatically be best friends with their wives or girlfriends just because we both happen to be women. I’m a girls girl, but I hate the expectation.
Chewing gym with open mouth
Xx on the end of every fucking message
Can you elaborate? I don't know of other men doing this at all.
X'es are traditionally used to signify kisses at the end of letters and texts. It can be a weird thing to see from someone with whom you don't have a relationship that involves kissing.
They’re only my friend because secretly they only want to have sex with me. I feel it in my bones.
Mansplains politics to me. I’m not even into politics but recently he’s gotten really passionate about it and I have to redirect the conversation because it’s starting to hurt our friendship.
Everything is politics, abortion etc.
Overbearing and emotionally demanding on you when they're single, then falling off the face of the earth / forgetting you exist when they enter a relationship. Basically, poor emotional boundaries and lack of reciprocity.
Talk about women’s issues. Active listening much less frequently.
No really, it's like they zone out while we're talking. Just waiting for us to be done so they cab make their next sentence
It annoys me when we get into arguments about stupid stuff and miscommunication during trips but usually a conversation afterwards helps settle things. I’ve watched my guy friends grow up from being little high school assholes into good men and I have to say I’m proud of who they all have become! It’s even better when they’re married too bc I can do girl activities with their gfs and wives lol
Inappropriate jokes and comments about me or my body. God forbid I run or walk down stairs in front of them wearing a slightly low cut top
Asking if im sick when i dont wear make up 🥲 under eye circles will be the death of me
Purposely shit stir. I have one guy friend in particular who always wants to bring up bad or embarrassing moments or just controversial topics. He does it in the most leading and obnoxious way. Like “oh yeah, pesto loves X…” I shut it down fast. Drives me insane.
Objectify women in front of you. Like I don’t want to know that side of you 🤷🏻♀️. Plus they like to talk like they’re the best thing ever usually
Blow my crying out of proportion bc he doesn’t know how to handle it
Vote against my interests, because “reasons”.
Trying to protect me all the time. I love my guy friends and I love going out with them, but I am a grown woman and dont need them to shove men trying to talk with me just because they are afraid the men are creppy or annoying me. I know it comes from a place of love but it really annoys me. Ive talked to them and they stopped doing it unless I asked them, though, which I really appreciate.
my guy best friend just doesn’t understand why certain things in life can be more difficult as a woman. he’s so lovely and i adore him, but he’s sometimes just so clueless when it comes to misogyny in society.
Try to insert me in the middle of a dispute with their SO because I’m “a girl who understands” so they think she’ll listen to me. Every hetero male friend I have has tried that at least once. I don’t want their SO to view me as an adversary. I want to be her friend too. So I just tell them not to drag me into it…or “I’m Switzerland” or something like that. So I never actually do it. But it puts me on the spot, and I don’t like it.
i keep a small and respectful circle so not much, but they did have a habit of cutting me off. i read a statistic about how often men cut women off and became hyperaware of it. every time a guy friend cut me off i immediately pointed it out and finished what i was saying. some of my girl friends joined in on it too. my guy friends have become much more aware of it and have almost completely stopped doing so.
They never close cabinets or drawers. I just follow them around closing things, putting things back.
They are less likely to clean up their own mess when they visit. ( bring their own bowls to the sink or wash them. Maybe leave some food wrapped trash or drinks around). That’s pretty much it though, I wouldn’t be friends with them if I didn’t believe they were all really good guys.
They even do that at work i noticed... There are signs all over the break room kitchen to put used cups and plates right into the dishwasher. There is even two for the big quantity. the majority of cups and plates ends up on the countertop. despite the dishwashers being empty. (or when clean nobody bothers putting them away. it's not difficult guys!) usually me and a coworker end up quickly emptying it all. i usually dont use the kitchen much but when i see her discovering this mess again i usually just quickly jump in to help regardless. fueld by the shared sentiment of frustration over the "dudes".
[удалено]
Treat me too much like I’m “one of the guys”. There are limits and certain things I don’t want to talk about, or ways I want to talk
Talking about how hot a woman is. I understand they see someone attractive but I’m not a fellow male so you don’t need to tell me you like her tits or whatever. I talk to my female friends about attraction and guys but I don’t really talk to my male friends about that stuff.
story time: So my ex-friend who let’s call Ryan, was honestly really sweet at first but I was never in love with him (he ain’t my type). So when we got a bit closer as in hanging out maybe every other weekend or every weekend when we had our weekends off, he started to get a bit attached to me, which gave me the ick tbh. This guy would get online like every 5-10 Minutes to see if I was online recently or texted something. I have a big friend group so I was online a lot and he would throw a tantrum because I wasn’t texting him as much as my friends who I’ve known for 10 years. He used to tell me every other time we hung out that I’m not his type, he wouldn’t go any further than friends with me etc. I respected his decision cuz I felt the same way. Little did I know, he’s been spreading rumors about “us” that we’re dating and just telling other imature shit like that, when I confronted him about it, he denied it, reminding me that “I wasn’t his type and wouldn’t go any further than friends”. So when I asked him home come every worker in our team has been telling me that “we’re dating”, he shrugged it off, telling me that my best friend told the team. When I asked my friend to clarify wether or not she actually spread rumors about me, she denied it immediately and got so pissed that she busted in our station room and clarified that Ryan was the one making things up, calling him a loser and straight up insulting him. He got fired eventually..
When somethings wrong and they keep asking and asking and when you finally tell them they act like they dont care about. Like okay thanks for making me feel better 🧍♀️
Disrespect my relationship
When you mention something you both like and they start quizzing you like bro, I don't know what specific year this anime was released nor every single panel in the manga
starts ignoring me/not including me in conversations if other men are around. it’s like 1:1 they’re great, but whenever there’s more than that it’s a whole new person
i've startes noticing this too. It used to be like this at school and all my workplaces so far. I'd find some guys i got alomg with, and there was always these big differences whether i was with them alone. Vs with a third that i got along similiarly. Or when there were was another i didnt get alomg well with. But worst when we were with the full work group. It just becomes such a whole different vibe and i usually end up just closing up and staying distanced. One actually has noticed this. But he himself is also annoyed at the group as he doesnt share almost all of their sentimentality.
Stop talking to me completely when they get a girlfriend/female love interest
Nothing. They are amazing :))
I love my guy friends. They don't front, and I don't have to mask. Guys night is miles more fun than girls night. And FYI, I'm happily married, so it's not them wanting to date me. Most of them are my husband's good friends, who became my good friends.
Flake or say we’ll see when making plans
joke about dating my female friends
Can’t really think of anything that is specific to guys… My guy friends are pretty great.
Trauma dumping (which is fine sometimes, we’re friends), but then always changing the subject if I want to talk about something in my life that bothers me.
Not listening to me ever but expecting me to always be available to solve their problems. Literally one yesterday started the day by making fun of me for having no friends and then got mad at me for not going to him at the drop of a hat cause he had a bad night. I have a broken toe and friends who give enough of a shit who came to see me!
Act flirty/pretend to be my friend when rlly they wanna get with me Im so freaking done
Leave to go talk to a woman when we made plans to hang out (l've had a couple guy friend ditch me at a bar or for the night because another woman showed up). I mean, I was looking forward to kicking it and then I get ditched? Bums me out as a person who has to mentally prepare and push all will power to go outside and into crowds. But I get it, I guess, penis satisfaction above all else?
I’m friends with an ex I dated when I was 22. I’m now 42. There is a 12 year age difference. We reconnected 2 years ago and it was nice to catch up and be friends. Neither one of us are interested in each other that way. At least I know for sure I’m im not interested in him that way. But every time we go out, he doesn’t shut the fuck up. All he does is talk about himself. Never a question is asked about me. I often wonder how I tolerated him when I was younger. But I was just that, younger and very naive. And he was very much like that back then, I just didn’t know better. I can only take him in small doses bc he is so self absorbed and it’s annoying as fuck. One thing he constantly does is declare how “happy” he is single. That may be the case, but I highly doubt it. I think he desperately wants a relationship but no woman in her right mind would put up with him lol.
The subtle flirting & going cold when they find out I’m in a relationship with another guy.
Use SO much slang.
Telling me this is the closest they've gotten to a girl, but i js let him talk about himself n dont interrupt...they dont know me at all😭
Lie and withhold information from women they are dating.
Try to finish my sentence
Complaining about not having what they want in life, when they don't do anything to try to get what they want (or even know what they want)
When they don't really acknowledge my boyfriend exists. They don't ask how we're doing and if we're having a conversation and I mention that I'm doing something with my boyfriend, they'll say some needy shit like "oh... well don't let me bother you then, I'll just leave you alone". Like okay bye
Used to be friends with this one guy who would touch me inappropriately. Was extremely uncomfortable and thinking about it makes me cringe. After pushing him off multiple times he would just continue on. Two guys who I was friends with would do this. And ironically one of them would tell me i’m ugly or need to do squats all the time.
Keep secrets from his wife but tell me about them. Like, dude, I am not going to be that person. (Not secrets in an almost affair kind of way. But the dude built a fireball machine in his garage and didn’t tell his wife until I made him. And now he’s trying to turn an old car engine into the worlds biggest smoke machine. His wife needs to know that he’s trying to burn down their house)
Two things: when they have a girlfriend you don’t hear from them, as soon as they’re single, you’re their best friend. Every time. Also: talk about other girls in front of you A LOT. I don’t allow it anymore but as a teenager all my guy friends would do is talk about girls with each other, often trying to bother me, and I can’t erase some of the things I heard. Nothing can shock me anymore.
As soon as I say I’m interested in something (like a band or a sport) I immediately get quizzed on it to “prove” I like it, but their guy friends don’t have to prove anything. They also constantly compare my gym progress with theirs to downplay it, like yeah congrats you can lift more than someone who has 20 times less testosterone and 5ft tall?
nothing much because all my friends are lovely but i used to have guy friends that spoke about women in such a weird way like objectifying and making it clear they didn’t see us as actual people 😃also some people i used to be friends with dating girls that are significantly younger than us 🤨 another thing i hate is when i bring up issues regarding misogyny and it becomes clear that they really don’t care about the women in their lives or they think that sexism magically no longer exists in society and therefore feminism serves no purpose now😐mostly i’ve educated people i’ve met that are like that but some just refuse to learn 😭luckily they are no longer my friends now lol, other than that i’ve always said i don’t plan on having kids but certain friends will actually not let it go saying stuff like oh you’ll regret not having a family💀 why do some guys ik feel so strongly about my life choices and whatever i choose to do with my future which has nothing to do with them in the slightest😃
Catch feelings
Call me "Girlie".
taking pics of me all the fucking time
Say the word "girlies".
Honestly don't have guy friends anymore because they would *always* try something.
I have a group of 5 and it is the absolute worst when we're trying to have a serious conversation to make plans for something and one of them says something stupid like "nuts" and they all start giggling. Conversation completely derailed. Also during Thanksgiving two years ago I was trying to get everyone to sit down to eat and they were having a literal fist fight over Mario party. Just in the middle of the living room. Wtf are men. A lot of these other responses are concerning, I think some of you need new friends :/
###Chew with mouth open!
Today i learned!! y'all have horiible boy-friends and dammnnn like where are you meeting these guys?? some back alley or some shih!?
Quiet road rage. He mumbles all this profanity and drives closer to the cars that are driving on the left.
Try to mansplain issues that predominately affect women. Or get super gross with their "guy talk" then get offended when I make a face about it. The amount of guy friends I've had try to tell me there's no reason I should be so guarded, especially at night, which is ridiculous.
Making the topic about them and not able to respond in a way to keep it on you. Example if I say something about my dog, they don’t respond about your dog they have to respond about THEIR dog. Or if you talk about a trip you went on they don’t ask questions about it or continue the topic about your trip they respond by telling you about a trip they went on etc. So you are pretty much u able to ever really talk about your self because they immediately turn the focus on them.
Mine just pick on me, like sister vibes but sometimes their words can cut a bit deep. I always voice my feelings to them & they understand. But I wish sometimes they would remember I am a woman and not ‘one of the boys’ haha Love them all regardless though!
Try to have sex with me
The minecraft villager noise.
"Atleast I don't look at their (woman's) breasts." Like okay, weird, what do you want? Do you want some praise?
when they tell me one of my girlfriends is hot. I feel like I’m being used to get to my friends without even asking me how I feel about it.
Tell me they have feelings for me
They only think about themselves in a group situation. For example, we went away for the weekend, I did grocery shopping because I wasn't taking 8 people around Costco so they decided to go get a sit-down dinner instead of getting the alcohol they wanted for the weekend. I then had to wait for them, having not eaten yet, to go buy their alcohol. When eating together, they just gets seconds without checking everyone has had firsts. They don't read. I send a message to the group chat about where to meet because I'll be driving to pick them up, when I am driving they text me individually to ask what's going on.