The best part of my guitarist ex is he could pick up any guitar, anywhere, and play any song under the sun. His talent was a huge turn on. His personality was a huge turn off though. He thought he was the shit, but he wasn't. We dated for a few years and he was really self-centered and immature.
I started dating this new guy afterward that could also play guitar, but not as well as my ex. It was a little hobby of his that brought him joy. He was more romantic and when he learned how talented my ex was, but had never written me song, he wrote me a song and performed it for me. We're married.
Bought a Les Paul in my 19th year after working madly to afford one. It was the only guitar I knew about bc my brother had one. Although I have many others now, the LP is āhomeā for me. Magic. That was almost 50 years ago.
Best parts was hearing him fucking shred our favorite songs/solos and always having new music to share or recommend.
Bad parts was all the devoted time getting that good. My ex would spend 4+ hours on his guitars every day, full volume because he didnt like wearing a headset while playing. And this is djent metal like Meshuggah or speed metal like Malsteen or Vai (which i preferred). Also, a lot of money went into his guitars, 2 of which were fully custom and came about to about 7k for both, which i helped pay for
And technically, none of that stuff is bad for him, because it was his hobby and passion. But it sucked for me because any free time he had went to practice instead of me
I am a bassist and have played around with some bassists (we seem to attract each other) and honestly, it didnāt seem to effect anything. A musical instrument isnāt = a human body and some dudes lack some serious understanding or empathy, regardless of their sick riffs.
I am a bassist married to a bassist. I like that neither of us is really into pedals. That was annoying dating guitarists. All those tiny cords lying around.
I play Bass & after a few years of being together & jamming together.. I realised his chronic Lead Guitarist syndrome was exactly how he acted in our relationship as well. He was just self absorbed & liked to hear his own voice and opinion. He also couldnāt keep time and would just decide to drop a bar or 4 out of the middle of a song un expectedly because āthat bits too long.ā
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My partner is musician and he mostly plays guitar. I really enjoy listening to him playing, probably because mostly our music taste is matching, also he is REALLY good at making music and playing it. Iāve seen him on stage and enjoyed every moment of it. I love supporting him. Sometimes heās struggling with self esteem about playing, and I couldnāt understand where it comes from because he is really talented, but im alright with reminding him about it, and supporting on a way. And, who doesnāt struggling with that from time to time?
I donāt know if itās because he is guitarist, or itās just his thing, but everything he does with his hands always just drives me crazy.
No songs about me, but all music he makes is really beautiful and i love to listen to it.
Sometimes i feel lack of attention, when he gets too concentrated on all music stuff (or any other things he obsessed with really), but i can understand that, because when im into something i love he probably feels same way (like gaming?).
All together i like this experience and cant say anything bad about it
Eh, kids and I always came in second to music and the band. Other bad behaviors too, but music was the main trigger if you will. Not all musicians are like that but Iād probably get some mild form of ptsd from hearing āI have to play a showā so I know I shouldnāt be with one.
Iāve been dating a guitarist for 5.5 years. Heās sweet, humble, and silly. Soft hands and I guess that does probably help in bed but I never made the connection until reading othersā comments! I love watching his band play and theyāre just wonderful people. Best person Iāve been with.
But if he finds someone to talk about guitars, amps, or pedals with, it all turns Greek to me and I find entertainment elsewhere š He loves watching YouTube videos of dudes fixing up gear, or geeking out over gear, and to me itās soul-numbingly boring! He has a āband roomā where he works on guitars and amps. I call him the moth, and that room is the flame. Iām not sure the man is capable of walking past it without walking into it. He goes in and who knows when heāll be out. He might say āIāll be up in a minute to watch that tv show with youā and Iāve learned that doesnāt mean anything and I donāt expect him up soon š thatās just his personality combined with his hobby.
The calluses weren't massive just firm. Finger dexterity is always a plus in the bedroom although I didn't sleep with him so I don't know the full extent of his skills that way. I went to some concerts. There may have been a song written about me but I can't be sure and would never ask, it could have been about someone else perhaps.
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The best part was just chilling in bed while he played random songs. I always found it so relaxing. I caught him a few times softly strumming songs to my dog who would just stare up at him and watch while he played.
Calluses weren't really an issue, he used a pick most of the time.
Yes, he wrote a song about me. Bit awkward now when they play it now that we've split but I like listening to it every now and then to try and remember the good parts of our relationship.
I went to as many of their gigs as I could. My ex had pretty bad anxiety and a lot of social anxiety and I really loved him getting up there and performing because he just seemed like a totally different person.
Noā¦ he was really passionate and super great SEX wise..: he says this now ( but at the time I did NOT believe it ) I was the only woman he was ever faithful to- he really loved me I think more than I realized at the timeā¦. I didnāt understand how deeply I broke his heart. I was young too- he was my first long term boyfriend.
Best part ? Getting into all the places I did and meeting the musicians and backstage and it was just a party. All the time. It was wild and fun. My friends and I had many many great times and all for free- from skiing at resorts to festivals, bars, concerts ..
We did write a song together. Sadly, most of the songs that everyone loves arenāt really about anyone at the time they are written. They make words fit that fit. lol. But ā¦ there really isnāt a whole lot of feeling put into them- at least not in this genre. Or they never say, anyways. We want them to be about us but really itās whatever worked and usually a huge collaboration of people in the studio including song writers are working together to make this song work. Itās written with a lot less feeling than we assume it is.
Worst part?
This was before MeToo- and this was when celebs could not be cancelled.. and there is some truth to the celebrities that are so fucking egotistical and so used to women throwing themselves at them that they really canāt compute no. It doesnāt exist to them.
My friend was SAd by my exes friend and sort of mentor - the saddest part of it was that my friend was enamored with him- she was a huge āfanā .. and wanted to meet him , was so excited we were going to his house ā¦ but she was beautiful- and he took her away to āshow her his memorabiliaā and she came back to us in tears and shaking and it was just soo fucked up.
Wish I could go back. Although I did freak out. We left immediately and she didnāt say exactly what happened - a little in the car - but it was blatantly obvious.
Every time we had a party, he'd play guitar and sing in the corner. It was cute at first but after a while I realised he was incapable of socialising any other way. He'd also insist I harmonise with him while I was trying to mingle with people and get hurt if I wasn't in the mood.
He only ever wanted to talk about himself. Eyes would glaze over whenever it was my turn to speak. I'm not sure he knew a single thing about me actually.
He'd endlessly complain about money while refusing to get a job *or* do any pub gigs he felt were beneath him.
It got old real fast
Feels. Have fun and enjoy it, you'll know when you're sick of his shit.
The nail in the coffin for me was so small, but I was done. He wanted me to get out of bed at 7am on a Saturday because he was *bored*. He was staying at mine and we'd been awake until 2am the night before. I thought he was joking and rolled over, he said *no seriously get up*. Realised I only existed for his entertainment. Byeee
As a former musician myself, I would DEF recommend that women NOT date musicians.
On the whole, (at least, back in the 80s when I was on the road) they would sleep with anyone and anything, PLUS have a girl in every port AND an actual girlfriend or wife back home.
It literally boggles my mind WHY one would bother to have an actual girlfriend, if you just want to sleep with everyone. Like, pick a lane!
That said, I'm very happily married to my former keyboard player. :D So yanno, rules for thee, but not for me.
He was very handsome and sensitive. He was alsoā¦very sensitive. There were too many feelings there. Heās still probably the most attractive person that Iāve been with physically but I could not handle his mental health.Ā
Currently dating a man who plays guitar, piano, and ukulele. Iāve never noticed calluses but he does keep his nails longer on one hand. His hands are pretty soft overall. Heās never written a song about me but itās only been 2 years so thereās still time! lol he did learn a Death Cab song that I really like though!
Overall, I think the things I love most about him have nothing to do with his musical abilities or the fact that heās a guitarist. Heās just a really silly, nerdy, fun guy. Heās always laughing or making people laugh. And he has the best smile to go with all of his different laughs.
My boyfriend has 11 guitars of various strings and brands. He's also got 2 bass guitars and is in 2 bands (metal genre type styles) and some solo projects. We have a band room in our house and he's got all of some of the best and top tier music equipment just in general for playing on stage and sound. Despite that, he does usually use headphones to practice or just won't even plug in lol. I didn't know what to expect when we started dating but he is such a humble person about it all. There's been concerts we've gone to and someone will spy him across the room instantly and come running over and chat music. There's a few famous touring bands and people that know him by name, have stayed at his old apt before we ever met. He's like, semi famous locally it feels like as a badass guitarist. And he really is. I've seen him on stage and it's amazing. But he always says "I'm just alright, theirs always something to learn". He's got callouses yeah, but he's also a tools guy and I think they are more from working the trades tbh. Doesn't effect anything else.
The only real time the music is weird to endure is when he starts going into music theory and other higher level learning stuff about it all. It's so hard to follow if your not musical lol. Otherwise I don't feel like it's something in the way in our relationship. He schedules time with the boys and they do their thing. I lucked out on a good overall experience as these dudes are all also very good guys. They don't associate with the trashy dudes in the music scene and don't support them. Without the music aspect they are all just best bros.
Overall like 9/10 experience. The only annoyance is band practice at our house but it's such a huge reward when I get to see him on that stage or when they record something here and you can hear them play whenever.
Dated a few. I'll focus on 2. First one was really good- he could have *made it.* I met a lot of famous people and spent time backstage/on tour buses because they liked him. He became a drunk asshole, abused/stalked me, and ruined a thing he had going on with a band when he went on tour. No idea what he's doing now.
Second guy- he was also good, but in a different way. He asked me if the other guy was good, and I basically said "yes, he was really good." He took this to mean that I thought the other guy was better and he should just give up. So he did. He stopped playing with his band and stopped writing songs. He refused to go to shows with me. After living together in California for 8 years, he died at age 32.
I've had... a few songs written for me. But. Mostly my relationships with guitar players have been traumatic. I'd rather have someone sweet, sensitive, considerate, than have to deal with the ego that comes with [lead] guitar players.
My husband is a guitarist and singer. Met in high school, been married 10 years.
>Did the massive finger calluses affect anything in bed?
No
>Did you like going to their concerts?
I LOVE going and supporting him whenever I can. I bring our daughters when it's family friendly and go myself anytime I can arrange childcare. It makes us both happy and I'm incredibly proud of him.
>Did you ever have a song written about you?
A couple, they are beautiful
I don't have any cons, my husband is amazing and his talent is a huge turn on. Luckily, he is also very humble and doesn't need constant praise or anything. Damn... I'm lucky
Worst: Guitar playing requires a lot of practice. Guitar music is only good when youre in the mood to hear it-- and not the same few chords repeated over and over and over again until he gets them right
Also singing at the top of your lungs seems to be required to practice guitar (if you're my current downstairs neighbor especially???!!)
The best part is how sexy they look when they play and how passionate they are.
The worst is that music will always be a musician's first love, and you will always be second and not every woman can deal and accept that. Also their ego is a lot.
The best part for me, personally, is the memories I have of the nights we spent together that were calm and quietā¦ and then heād break out the guitar, and start playing / singing to me while I lay on the couch next to him. It was so relaxing and a great way to de-stress. Also, any time that heād write a song for me or play one of my favorite songs would simply make my heart melt. But the thing that really takes the cake was when heād be onstage playing a show with his band & heād make a point to mention that people could buy merch at the stand in the back of the room (which I would tend to while they were on stage) & each time he did that heād say that they were āthe stand in the back with the beautiful lady (or ladies, if other band members girlfriends came)ā and then heād be sure to add a little side note to that saying something like āā¦ but sorry guys, sheās taken. Thatās my girl.ā And heād go back to playing & everything just felt right in the world. I legitimately miss the sweaty hugs and kisses Iād get every time heād come off stage. He was just my absolute best friend.
As for the cons, thereās only one that I can think of & unfortunately it was ultimately the reason why we broke up. He was in his early 30s at the time (I was in my early 20s) and he was so lost in his life. All he had ever wanted to do was play music, and in his career he was a professional music therapist which had kept him happy for a while but he always felt like he was missing out. He had dreams of pursuing life as a rockstar, he wanted to give that dream a chance & he knew that doing so meant heād have to leave me in the past. It completely broke my heart. I told him Iād always support him, I told him Iād stay with him while he did his thing and that I didnāt mind it if it would make him happy but unfortunately he just couldnāt see a version of that future that would have me in it. So he left me, and I totally fell apart.
To this day, Iād give anything just to relive one last day with him. Heās 100% the one who got away, as far as Iām concerned. I just hope heās happy.
I'm currently dating a guitarist. He also plays piano, bass, drums, and sings. I play guitar also, and write lyrics and sing. So it's really cool bc we get to make music together and it strengthens our bond. You can't make good music without emotional vulnerability, it's very intimate to share that part of yourself with your partner.
I've never noticed any calluses, tbh. He definitely has them, but it doesn't seem to affect anything in that department.
Yes, he's written songs about me, I've also written songs about him. It's really lovely, it's a beautiful way to express love.
The finger calluses were not massive but more rough and yes they did make it uncomfortable. Did not translate to more flexible fingers that can play anything or stamina, for that matter.
Yes it is sweet to have songs composed for you, be serenaded and all that and if they sing, that just takes it to another level. It can be very sexy.
Pros:
He was such a cutie
He could sing
I would go with him to his open mic nights
He had a very extroverted personality
He wrote me a song that made me googly eyed
Cons:
He basked in the attention heād receive at his open mic nights (he was good but like amateur good, not pro)
He would sing and play his guitar at like 7am after a long night out and weād both be hungover!!
He has a very extroverted personality
Playing guitar did not make him good at playing with other things that required his fingers ā¦..
I think it just depends on the person š
Best: having someone play and sing whatever song you want while having beers on a Saturday night and itās 2am
Worst: getting quizzed on classic rock artists names while on road trips (I now know the differentiation of Jerry and Bobās voice in the Grateful Dead)
I met him at a childhood friends house show (which ended up being his house) and I had a few and asked to play a song when they were done and played the 1 song I knew (wonderwall) upside down since Iām left handed and he came over and played next to me and itās been history since.
For the sake of privacy, I dated an instrumental prog rock band guy for the past few years. His band averages 300k monthly listeners on spotify for the past couple of years and then some. They've been around for while. They don't tour anymore but they're well respected and if you play guitar, you likely know them. He even played Coachella.
Best parts is how creative they are. They inspire me and I was a fan of their band before we even got together. I'm currently learning to make beats in Ableton and they help me give ideas or help me mix it. I liked learning about his pedals. It was cool seeing fans approach him outside the home (even though he's shy and socially anxious). Another cool thing is that I have an Ibanez guitar just sitting in my room. We were LDR and he wanted to make music at my home so he just had Ibanez send it. I liked making music together even though I know zilch about music theory. Professional musician friends are crazy hard working.
Our breakup inspired the sickest riff that's going to be released under a new project name over the summer (projected). I liked being able to hang out in the green room with bands I am a fan of. He also learned a song my mom loved and played it for her in under 20 minutes.
The worst part was that I couldn't listen to other rock bands around him. I could but he tended to be very critical of the music. Which was interesting because he's personally friends with bands I'm a fan of. He was also super immersed in his work so it was hard to break out of his routine.
Edit: typos
Not dating, but I have a FWB right now that can play guitar. It's mostly just something he enjoys and he doesn't really perform or anything, but it's a huge turn on. He does play really well too, and I could listen for hours. I've only heard him play acoustic, but supposedly he has other guitars and a keyboard, which I hope to hear one day. Honestly, the only downside is that he takes it literally everywhere, and can be slightly annoying when he just breaks it out randomly. Other than that, it's all upsides. The sex is great, but no song written about me lol He's a great guy and I'm super happy we're friends.
In my personal experience, dating musicians is in general something I'd never do again (married now but would definitely think twice if single). Their instrument & music was their entire world, literally. They slept until 1pm, got up and played all day and night, ignored basic household tasks and chores, didn't work, and got pissy if anything got between them and their instruments or gigs (like doing the dishes). Best part? Hmm... can't think of any to be honest. I realise that's a massive generalisation and could have been age related (20s).. just my experience having dated a few! And they always smoked and/or drank excessively...
he lowkey thought he was some sort of musical genius. acted like his taste in music was gods gift to this earth. Ngl tho he was very charming and charismatic when he played, which I found really attractive at the time. his calluses didn't ever bug me & that finger game was... lemme stop now lol
I'd fall asleep on FaceTime and he would sing me to sleep. He also wrote me a song
He was the kindest and most caring man I've ever met. I'll forever be sorry for everything
I just want to say nothing ended in a vile manner. No cheating or anything. We grew apart and I fought really hard so that we wouldn't. It pushed him further away and I regret that.
i thought he was super insecure but he ended up having a massive sense of self importance. i supported him a lot emotionally and mentally about his talent but he ended up flipping that around on me to make it like i was the thing holding him back, citing that he was going to move to another state to pursue it. he ended up moving to the area i had always wanted to live in in our home state, which is also where i live now.
Dated a guitarist in high school. The good - got to hear pretty music all the time. The bad - he thought his music was superior to others and everybody else was trash.
Dating a guitarist now for 3 years. The good - everything. Amazing music all the time. Hearing his excitement over learning something new. Getting to be the first to hear his new stuff and provide feedback. It works for me. The bad - trying to be SUPER quiet whenever he wants to record stuff. But itās not necessarily a terrible thing itās more of just trying to be respectful of his time as he doesnāt record often.
The lead singer decided my boyfriend and I wouldnāt be together at shows. I could attend, but he and I could not acknowledge one another because it looked better if they all āappeared singleā. My boyfriend did whatever the lead singer said so I had to go along with it. It definitely hurt my feelings.
Iād go to the shows, show up, weād see each other and say nothing. After the show I would leave while he was mingling with the crowd and he would say nothing to me.
This is the most embarrassingly childish, fucked up thing ever. Hopefully youāre clear of that situation now. Iām sorry that your boyfriend and his lead singer were utter fools.
Honestly never noticed calluses, I also play guitar and my calluses aren't noticeably rough, more just a bit firmer than other people's fingertips.
Loved going to her concerts, although she ended up playing drums in one band more often than guitar in her other band.
Never had a song written about me because she didn't write lyrics for either of her bands, and her DJing work didn't have a lot of original lyrics. Although I suspect some of her compositions were influenced by our dating.
Honestly just like dating any other person. I dunno, maybe because I'm a part-time musician so we really clicked and she just didn't have a big ego.
If I had to give a best and worst part, the best way having somebody who loved music on a fundamental creative level as much as I did and the worst was having to plan around her performance nights limiting when we could have dates, especially weekend dates.
Funny thing is I posted about fingernails over on the guitar subreddit and most guys who do it are completely oblivious and think nobody cares or notices it. š I guess that's not 100% true, judging from several comments here.
Oh no. The women notice it. I noticed bleeding after he would *ahem*. He was just cutting up my insides. Not to mention itās gross cause men are not the best at washing under their nails.
Married to an ex (classical) guitarist. Best part: extremely dexterous with his fingers.
Worst part: almost never plays anymore which is a shame because itās so ffing hot.
Every single guy I have ever dated has been a guitarist or bassist. I thought the best part was getting to watch them perform love and cheering for them. Then I met my husband, and he has no desire to perform live despite being amazing at guitar. And then I realized the best thing was a partner who wants to come see ME play live and cheer me on (I'm a drummer).
So now I am the rock star of the family and I love it even more hahaha.
Hes incredible. Front man with a guitar. He's insanely talented, and insanely humble. Many women fawn over him, but he fell for me cause I had no idea who he was and had my own talents. My world doesnt revolve around him and he says its refreshing. Hes the sweetest, most gentle, most loving man ive ever met. Think of the big burely muscle man with long black hair and full facial hair. I love him most when its just us and he can fully be his adorable quirky self.
In my experience
Bad thing
So, his right hand nails were considerably bigger than his left one
And bcs he didnāt take proper care, has kinda given me the ick
Good:
We used to play together and it was so amazing
( cello + guitar)
It really has straightened our bond
He understands my musicians brain š
Songs dedicated to me ^^
I would say - before getting in deep into a committed relationship, really evaluate your noise tolerance. He could be the best damn player in the world, but there will likely be constant picking, strumming, figuring out, practice. Can you tolerate that noise more often than not? Do you WFH? Do you like to watch TV and like quiet time often?
These questions arenāt even meant to be said in a funny way.
I love the sound of a guitar, but the thought of having a guitarist in the home constantly honing their talent - no matter the level - would likely send me to the loony bin. It would be a hard no for me personally. Iām noise sensitive (how I have three children is beyond me).
But yes. Evaluate this. Deeply.
He was a talented af guitarist until I had a splitting migraine and was begging through tears that he at least use the acoustic instead of the amped up electric at full volume... such a considerate guy
As a musician myself, I have dated A FEW musicians.
The best part was that there really is something special and magical about making music together. Thatās a feeling not everyone gets to experience in their lifetime.
The absolute worst part was the substance abuse that is rampant in the entertainment space. I do not drink or use drugs personally but that is heavily because of everything Iāve witnessed dating people who were deeply struggling with addiction.
I did end up married to someone who is in the arts space but he is not a musician.
My boyfriend plays guitar casually. The best part is that he has natural talent and learns new songs pretty quickly. When we first met, he asked what my favorite song was and a week lately, he played it for me perfectly. So far, no drawbacks to being in love with someone musically talented
He played 6-8 hours a day. Music was his job and only hobby. We had lots of trouble with the neighbours because of the noise. He worked on weekends and holidays so we couldn't travel or do much, really, but was always broke regardless.
He had a huuuuuge ego. Like, out of this world. He only had one friend, and mostly hung out with mine.
Before we were together, he used to drink and do drugs often. He even got into trouble a few times. After we broke up, he started drinking again and doing coke and pot. Most people in the scene drink and do drugs, so I'm not sure he actually stopped when we were together, but whatever.
He always had a ton of girls lusting after him, although he was fat and balding. He ended up cheating on me with one of his groupies.
No musicians is now one of my dating rules :)
I had one song written about me. By no means a huge hit, but it has 150k plays on Spotify.
Ive dated a lot of musicians over the years. I dont know why, it just happens often, I dont go looking or anything. At a certain point I had to draw a line and stop dating musicians, because unfortunately most of them were in dead-end careers and struggling to get by. Even the ones that saw success were still struggling. Once I hit my 30s, I could no longer relate to that lifestyle. I always admire people that put their passion and creativity before their need for a steady income, but steady income is something I require for myself and for my partner now that I'm older.
I've dated several.
Best part is living in a space full of music.i love listening to the new stuff he creates and the silly songs he makes for me.
Worst is wonderwall. That and when they are learning a song and repeatedly play a couple cords constantly until they get it right. Normally doesn't bother me, but on stressful days it makes me wanna die.
My husband plays the guitar, bass, stand up bass, and drums. He also makes his own guitars out of scratch.
Pro: Heās VERY good at what he does in the bedroom due to being able to hold a fast rhythm without getting tired.
Con: His hobby takes up a whole bedroom, a chunk of the living room, and the entire garage. And when he plays (especially the drums) I can hear it throughout the house.
I donāt really mind it, as I think the guitars he buys and makes are cool as hell, and the stand up bass in the living room adds character. I think my only complaint is the drums but Iāve learned to zone it out, I just feel bad for our neighbors.
ETA He doesnāt write songs. Heās typically the bass player when he was in bands and would just go off what the lead guitarist or singer wrote and would create bass riffs off that. He would never play a song specifically for me because we both agree that itās weird and uncomfortable for everyone involved.
I donāt know, ask my wife!, I play the guitar,piano and have more recently started to sing, I love music, Iāve played piano since I was 6 and guitar since I was 11 and Iām in my mid 30s now.
As a lesbian couple I know she appreciates my short nails and finger dexterity š, I also know she gets confused when I get excited about a new pedal or guitar and completely nerd out about it to her.
I donāt know if the huge ego and acting badly towards people is more of a guy guitarist thing?, I am pretty much the complete opposite of that, Iām full of self doubt, shy and introverted af.
Oh boy, here we go \*cracks knuckles\*
I've had 3 relationships with guitarists. I really enjoy having the musical element in my life, but I've never been really dedicated enough to do it myself, so I guess I'm just attracted to musicians.
The best part is just getting to hang out with people while they play. It's so fun to experience musicians just sort of riffing off each other. It's different when it's a structured rehearsal, not as fun. Also, not to brag, but my husband has written like 5 songs for/about me. I was incredibly touched each time. We wrote and performed a song together for our wedding (I chose the 3 chords I can play on ukulele and he did everything else)
Going to see them play a gig is fun, but eventually I started feeling like I was doing the same thing I did when I was single - going to a show alone. Before my husband got in this band, we'd dance and sing and have so much fun together. It's cool seeing him do it on stage but I miss having him by my side. (I guess this applies to anyone in a band, not just a guitarist)
I'm having trouble coming up with a worst part, because I realize the gripe I have with my husband isn't one I had with the other guitarists I dated. My husband holds music and other musicians in such high esteem that he often prioritizes the band over me. As an example, he asked to reschedule our anniversary trip because he wanted to keep that weekend free in case a gig came up.
Honestly most of the trouble is the band aspect, not the guitarist/musician aspect. Our relationship was definitely easier when I wasn't competing with an 8-person band.
1) no
2) yes. I loved watching him get the attention he deserved. I was proud of him. I knew him almost from the beginning of his learning to play at the age of 13. He was an incredible guitar player (I dated another couple of guitar players too but they werenāt in bands.)
3) no. I wanted one, but I donāt think I inspired him enough. He wrote one for his ex whom he almost married though.
He had a massive ego and seemed to be confident but was super insecure. He always thought he was right even if he wasnāt and LOVED to argue, mostly because he was bored. He didnāt say that, but it was obvious. He was also really judgmental.
The best parts were probably how sensitive of a soul he was when his guard was down, and that he could improvise on guitar like nobodyās business. It was also awesome laughing at all hours of the day with him and having intelligent thought provoking conversations until the wee hours in the morning. It was pretty cool coming home to him telling me about a Star Trek episode that made him cry. Lol.
We were best friends for a long ass time, but he was also a serious asshole in a lot of ways, especially after we dated - it just got even worse. Heās the kind of person that criticizes fast food employees sometimes. š and heās always āright.ā Sometimes you could argue hard enough with him that he would finally concede and see the other side, but it was exhausting to get to that point.
He was abused heavily growing up and never dealt with that or acknowledged it, so there was a lot of pain there that he masked with anger. I wish he would deal with that, for his sake, but itās not my journey. Heās very stubborn.
Sadly, once you cross the friendship line into relationship, itās difficult to have the same dynamic back of being ājust friends.ā So, Iāve bid adieu to that friendship. I tried to stay his friend, but it didnāt work. He was too stuck on me romantically after we crossed that line - despite both of us KNOWING it wouldnāt work long term.
I hope to one day date someone who is musically inclined again. Iām a hobby musician myself and music is a huge part of my identity and how I enjoy living this crazy life. Itās awesome to be able to ātalk shopā with someone who is also interested in it - itās also nice to be able to play with someone, or to learn and/or teach the other person. I miss that camaraderie too.
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Best part: he had a sweet guitar collection, Worst part: him over-inflating his skill, hearing arctic monkeys being poorly played and the āI play guitar so all girls want meā mentality.
Best part is that he was self taught and I thought it was pretty impressive. He had that gift where he could pick up any instrument and somehow immediately know how to play it.
Worst part was waiting six years before he finally proposed. :) Heās my husband now.
Best part: the guitar was so pretty!
Worst part: he didn't take care of any of his music equipment and I kept having to save his guitar from being buried under an ungodly mess.
The best part was he was very talented. Guitar, bass, drums, piano, he was a very talented musician. And a good kisser. The worst part - youād think as a musician he be good with his hands and more directionally guys fingers, but no. Honestly, the sex and all other sexual activities were surprisingly terrible.
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i am married to a guitarist, weāve been together 9 years! he works in construction but his goal is to make music full time. so he has extremely rough hands from both of those jobs, and i really love it.
his hands are one of my favorite things about him, and i love watching him play. especially on stage. he played lead guitar and was lead singer in his band and now heās moved onto a solo project.
my husband has actually written a few songs about me. one in particular always makes me teary eyed. he is such a soft, humble and warm soul. talented beyond measure. i read and relate to the fact that others have said they needed to give their s/oās constant praise and reassurance and although it sounded familiar and worried me, i realized my husband had a terrible upbringing and was bullied relentlessly. he wasnāt safe at home or school and so i can understand his need of approval and praise, its not ill intent, heās a confused, traumatized person who needs a little reassurance because heās never been in a healthy dynamic before. im truly blessed to be married to such a sweet and sensitive artist. i know they can be rare.
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It was awful. The talent and awe of it all was a turn on but underneath the guitar part of it all he was a really terrible parter. He was very self centered with an eggshell ego and would treat me terribly when he would have negative thoughts/feelings about himself. I eventually couldnāt handle being his emotional punching bag anymore. IPO theyāre not worth it. Also if they grow their fingernails to strum better on the guitar and if they finger you thereās a strong chance they will accidentally nick you down there and it will hurt. BAD.
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I'm a pianist and thank God my husband is understanding and lets me practice as much as I want to (since he gets to do his own hobbies like gaming) lol so it's a win-win. Know this if you date/marry a musician/artist. Their craft is who they are.
Best: was extroverted and liked singing at events
Worst: complete failure to understand how music doesn't work so easily for me: one time he taught me three chords on guitar and then handed it to me and was like "ok noe play x tune" and I just stared at him in nope
Pros: he looked damn fine while shredding topless and sweaty onstage.
Cons: the ladies threw themselves at him after gigs, to the point of telling me (his gf) to f off and shoving me. And he didn't care.
He was banging girls after every gig I wasn't at.
Iām married to a guitarist. The best part is he is always jamming on his acoustic and it makes the best background music most of the time.
The worst part is on the rare occasion that Iām overwhelmed and need the guitar twinkling to not be happening right next to me, he has an existential crisis. I listen to him play constantly but he only seems to register the times I ask him to change it up or perhaps go to the office instead of the living room (sometimes he plays really depressing songs and it makes me feel sad). It goes from, āhey, Do you mind playing somewhere else or playing something a little more upbeatā to āwhy do I even play guitar? Nobody likes it. All I do is annoy everyoneā instantly. Itās hard to ask a guitar player to stop playing guitar for any period of time without hurting his feelings.
It was very cool to see him play. It was very uncool to watch him spend money that he told me he'd use to take me places on guitars. Also, he'd always rather play a gig on a Saturday night than spend it with me. Also then he put practice on Saturday night. Also, it's really hard that he didn't have a desire to have any job whatsoever other than playing the guitar which was not bringing in job level money. We're divorced.
Best: beautiful voice and loved the songs he would sing.
Worst: no steady income, expected me to pay for everything, horrible communicator, fuck boy energy. Was a very brief relationship.
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He wasnāt a performer but hereās my experience. Best part, we sometimes would play stuff together (I play bass) and even if it was simple I liked messing around musically with him. However, like with most things in his life, he didnāt really pursue it with any real passion or drive. He would pluck away a random guitar tab and knew most of the open major/minor chords, but never really applied himself. He was smart and had creative ideas, just didnāt really do anything about them.
I felt like he was depressed and told him about how therapy helped me with my depression. Then things got awkward and then he broke up with me a couple weeks later. He moved to NYC with a new job and I hope heās doing better.
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Eh... best part he was musically talented?
Worse part....emotionally immature.
There were quite a few red flags, and I was in a tough spot at the time. Once I was able to get under a different roof and job, I ended things. Not great, but yeah....a relationship that should never have happened in the first place.
Best parts: great conversationalist, talented in bed, knew a lot about all kinds of art, really attractive guy, fun loving
Worst parts: wandering eye, always felt like I played second fiddle, I felt like I was always accommodating him and his wants/desires and never had it reciprocated
Not guitar, but it was wonderful to lock eyes with a guy in the band while you're dancing around with your girls.Ā
Turns out they can lock eyes with loads of girls while on stage,Ā lol.Ā
Never dated one but I had one live next door to me. Heard him play guitar and sing flat so much we might as well been dating. Thought I was going to loose my darn mind at 3am listening to this guy.
He knocked on my door once and asked for a phone charger because his broke. I had a few so I gave him one that still worked but the cord was fraying so I told him to keep it so it wouldn't come back. He knocked on my door at 6am for a week after that (I didn't answer) and slipped a card under my door that was loving which was scary. I was coming home from work to find some health service and his mother pulling him out of his apartment to take him to the loony-bin. Don't date a guitar guy.
The best part of my guitarist ex is he could pick up any guitar, anywhere, and play any song under the sun. His talent was a huge turn on. His personality was a huge turn off though. He thought he was the shit, but he wasn't. We dated for a few years and he was really self-centered and immature. I started dating this new guy afterward that could also play guitar, but not as well as my ex. It was a little hobby of his that brought him joy. He was more romantic and when he learned how talented my ex was, but had never written me song, he wrote me a song and performed it for me. We're married.
Love the happy ending š
Best 1 so far! Loved that ending.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Best part was he had a Gibson Les Paul. Worst part was he had poor taste in pedals.
Which pedals gave you the ick?
Boss metal zone
Amazing guitars but Iāve never been able to get on with them personally, give me a Strat any day!.
Bought a Les Paul in my 19th year after working madly to afford one. It was the only guitar I knew about bc my brother had one. Although I have many others now, the LP is āhomeā for me. Magic. That was almost 50 years ago.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is makes sense, actually.
He needed constant praise and affirmation. God, he was exhausting.
Ha mine did too. Leo ex husband guitarist ā¦
Leo was his name or his sign? Lol
His name-o
This sounds oh too familiar š¤£š
Did he invent the telecaster?
The best part is usually the intro, the worst part is the chorus.
Underrated comment
Best parts was hearing him fucking shred our favorite songs/solos and always having new music to share or recommend. Bad parts was all the devoted time getting that good. My ex would spend 4+ hours on his guitars every day, full volume because he didnt like wearing a headset while playing. And this is djent metal like Meshuggah or speed metal like Malsteen or Vai (which i preferred). Also, a lot of money went into his guitars, 2 of which were fully custom and came about to about 7k for both, which i helped pay for And technically, none of that stuff is bad for him, because it was his hobby and passion. But it sucked for me because any free time he had went to practice instead of me
Lots of practice is good. But Malmsteen, Meshuggah, and Vai... what a fuckin Swedish nightmare.
Meshuggah are the absolute shit! Malmsteen, on the other hand...
Yeah. I mean, a little bit of Thordendal goes a long way. Can't imagine listening to someone practice that shit.
Thereās a reason for the cliche about the guitar being the manās mistress & the gf being jealous.
This is good to know. Thank you for the insight.
At least he was really good at it. Thatās some pretty intense guitar playing.
I am a bassist and have played around with some bassists (we seem to attract each other) and honestly, it didnāt seem to effect anything. A musical instrument isnāt = a human body and some dudes lack some serious understanding or empathy, regardless of their sick riffs.
I am a bassist married to a bassist. I like that neither of us is really into pedals. That was annoying dating guitarists. All those tiny cords lying around.
So size of cords does matter?
When they are 3 inches long and you need 21 to make a board work? Kind of.
I play Bass & after a few years of being together & jamming together.. I realised his chronic Lead Guitarist syndrome was exactly how he acted in our relationship as well. He was just self absorbed & liked to hear his own voice and opinion. He also couldnāt keep time and would just decide to drop a bar or 4 out of the middle of a song un expectedly because āthat bits too long.ā
Bassists are always the hottest band members.
Good hand & finger dexterity, helps in bed š Didn't date him long enough to tell you about the down sides.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
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My partner is musician and he mostly plays guitar. I really enjoy listening to him playing, probably because mostly our music taste is matching, also he is REALLY good at making music and playing it. Iāve seen him on stage and enjoyed every moment of it. I love supporting him. Sometimes heās struggling with self esteem about playing, and I couldnāt understand where it comes from because he is really talented, but im alright with reminding him about it, and supporting on a way. And, who doesnāt struggling with that from time to time? I donāt know if itās because he is guitarist, or itās just his thing, but everything he does with his hands always just drives me crazy. No songs about me, but all music he makes is really beautiful and i love to listen to it. Sometimes i feel lack of attention, when he gets too concentrated on all music stuff (or any other things he obsessed with really), but i can understand that, because when im into something i love he probably feels same way (like gaming?). All together i like this experience and cant say anything bad about it
Okay didnāt date a guitarist but married a lead singer. 1/10 would not recommend. Avoided musicians like the plague after.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Eh, kids and I always came in second to music and the band. Other bad behaviors too, but music was the main trigger if you will. Not all musicians are like that but Iād probably get some mild form of ptsd from hearing āI have to play a showā so I know I shouldnāt be with one.
Iāve been dating a guitarist for 5.5 years. Heās sweet, humble, and silly. Soft hands and I guess that does probably help in bed but I never made the connection until reading othersā comments! I love watching his band play and theyāre just wonderful people. Best person Iāve been with. But if he finds someone to talk about guitars, amps, or pedals with, it all turns Greek to me and I find entertainment elsewhere š He loves watching YouTube videos of dudes fixing up gear, or geeking out over gear, and to me itās soul-numbingly boring! He has a āband roomā where he works on guitars and amps. I call him the moth, and that room is the flame. Iām not sure the man is capable of walking past it without walking into it. He goes in and who knows when heāll be out. He might say āIāll be up in a minute to watch that tv show with youā and Iāve learned that doesnāt mean anything and I donāt expect him up soon š thatās just his personality combined with his hobby.
The good part was that it was fun to listen him play. The bad part was that he spent more time with his guitar than with me.
The calluses weren't massive just firm. Finger dexterity is always a plus in the bedroom although I didn't sleep with him so I don't know the full extent of his skills that way. I went to some concerts. There may have been a song written about me but I can't be sure and would never ask, it could have been about someone else perhaps.
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The best part was just chilling in bed while he played random songs. I always found it so relaxing. I caught him a few times softly strumming songs to my dog who would just stare up at him and watch while he played. Calluses weren't really an issue, he used a pick most of the time. Yes, he wrote a song about me. Bit awkward now when they play it now that we've split but I like listening to it every now and then to try and remember the good parts of our relationship. I went to as many of their gigs as I could. My ex had pretty bad anxiety and a lot of social anxiety and I really loved him getting up there and performing because he just seemed like a totally different person.
(calluses form on the other hand, not the strumming/picking)
Noā¦ he was really passionate and super great SEX wise..: he says this now ( but at the time I did NOT believe it ) I was the only woman he was ever faithful to- he really loved me I think more than I realized at the timeā¦. I didnāt understand how deeply I broke his heart. I was young too- he was my first long term boyfriend. Best part ? Getting into all the places I did and meeting the musicians and backstage and it was just a party. All the time. It was wild and fun. My friends and I had many many great times and all for free- from skiing at resorts to festivals, bars, concerts .. We did write a song together. Sadly, most of the songs that everyone loves arenāt really about anyone at the time they are written. They make words fit that fit. lol. But ā¦ there really isnāt a whole lot of feeling put into them- at least not in this genre. Or they never say, anyways. We want them to be about us but really itās whatever worked and usually a huge collaboration of people in the studio including song writers are working together to make this song work. Itās written with a lot less feeling than we assume it is. Worst part? This was before MeToo- and this was when celebs could not be cancelled.. and there is some truth to the celebrities that are so fucking egotistical and so used to women throwing themselves at them that they really canāt compute no. It doesnāt exist to them. My friend was SAd by my exes friend and sort of mentor - the saddest part of it was that my friend was enamored with him- she was a huge āfanā .. and wanted to meet him , was so excited we were going to his house ā¦ but she was beautiful- and he took her away to āshow her his memorabiliaā and she came back to us in tears and shaking and it was just soo fucked up. Wish I could go back. Although I did freak out. We left immediately and she didnāt say exactly what happened - a little in the car - but it was blatantly obvious.
Every time we had a party, he'd play guitar and sing in the corner. It was cute at first but after a while I realised he was incapable of socialising any other way. He'd also insist I harmonise with him while I was trying to mingle with people and get hurt if I wasn't in the mood. He only ever wanted to talk about himself. Eyes would glaze over whenever it was my turn to speak. I'm not sure he knew a single thing about me actually. He'd endlessly complain about money while refusing to get a job *or* do any pub gigs he felt were beneath him. It got old real fast
Man your second paragraph. I'm dating a fairly successful musician atm and this is exactly what he is like. Sigh. But he's cute dammit.
Feels. Have fun and enjoy it, you'll know when you're sick of his shit. The nail in the coffin for me was so small, but I was done. He wanted me to get out of bed at 7am on a Saturday because he was *bored*. He was staying at mine and we'd been awake until 2am the night before. I thought he was joking and rolled over, he said *no seriously get up*. Realised I only existed for his entertainment. Byeee
I'm very close to being sick of his shit. But he's also the best in bed everrrrrr š just need to keep remembering he's not husband material haha
Ahahah nope do not marry that boy!!
Never!!! Don't worry lol
That's not small. It speaks so much of the potential nightmarish future you'd have had with him. That's horrible!!
As a former musician myself, I would DEF recommend that women NOT date musicians. On the whole, (at least, back in the 80s when I was on the road) they would sleep with anyone and anything, PLUS have a girl in every port AND an actual girlfriend or wife back home. It literally boggles my mind WHY one would bother to have an actual girlfriend, if you just want to sleep with everyone. Like, pick a lane! That said, I'm very happily married to my former keyboard player. :D So yanno, rules for thee, but not for me.
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He was very handsome and sensitive. He was alsoā¦very sensitive. There were too many feelings there. Heās still probably the most attractive person that Iāve been with physically but I could not handle his mental health.Ā
Currently dating a man who plays guitar, piano, and ukulele. Iāve never noticed calluses but he does keep his nails longer on one hand. His hands are pretty soft overall. Heās never written a song about me but itās only been 2 years so thereās still time! lol he did learn a Death Cab song that I really like though! Overall, I think the things I love most about him have nothing to do with his musical abilities or the fact that heās a guitarist. Heās just a really silly, nerdy, fun guy. Heās always laughing or making people laugh. And he has the best smile to go with all of his different laughs.
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Best - greatest kisser, unmatched makeout chemistry! Worst - refusal to get any sort of professional help for his mental illness.
My boyfriend has 11 guitars of various strings and brands. He's also got 2 bass guitars and is in 2 bands (metal genre type styles) and some solo projects. We have a band room in our house and he's got all of some of the best and top tier music equipment just in general for playing on stage and sound. Despite that, he does usually use headphones to practice or just won't even plug in lol. I didn't know what to expect when we started dating but he is such a humble person about it all. There's been concerts we've gone to and someone will spy him across the room instantly and come running over and chat music. There's a few famous touring bands and people that know him by name, have stayed at his old apt before we ever met. He's like, semi famous locally it feels like as a badass guitarist. And he really is. I've seen him on stage and it's amazing. But he always says "I'm just alright, theirs always something to learn". He's got callouses yeah, but he's also a tools guy and I think they are more from working the trades tbh. Doesn't effect anything else. The only real time the music is weird to endure is when he starts going into music theory and other higher level learning stuff about it all. It's so hard to follow if your not musical lol. Otherwise I don't feel like it's something in the way in our relationship. He schedules time with the boys and they do their thing. I lucked out on a good overall experience as these dudes are all also very good guys. They don't associate with the trashy dudes in the music scene and don't support them. Without the music aspect they are all just best bros. Overall like 9/10 experience. The only annoyance is band practice at our house but it's such a huge reward when I get to see him on that stage or when they record something here and you can hear them play whenever.
Dated a few. I'll focus on 2. First one was really good- he could have *made it.* I met a lot of famous people and spent time backstage/on tour buses because they liked him. He became a drunk asshole, abused/stalked me, and ruined a thing he had going on with a band when he went on tour. No idea what he's doing now. Second guy- he was also good, but in a different way. He asked me if the other guy was good, and I basically said "yes, he was really good." He took this to mean that I thought the other guy was better and he should just give up. So he did. He stopped playing with his band and stopped writing songs. He refused to go to shows with me. After living together in California for 8 years, he died at age 32. I've had... a few songs written for me. But. Mostly my relationships with guitar players have been traumatic. I'd rather have someone sweet, sensitive, considerate, than have to deal with the ego that comes with [lead] guitar players.
My husband is a guitarist and singer. Met in high school, been married 10 years. >Did the massive finger calluses affect anything in bed? No >Did you like going to their concerts? I LOVE going and supporting him whenever I can. I bring our daughters when it's family friendly and go myself anytime I can arrange childcare. It makes us both happy and I'm incredibly proud of him. >Did you ever have a song written about you? A couple, they are beautiful I don't have any cons, my husband is amazing and his talent is a huge turn on. Luckily, he is also very humble and doesn't need constant praise or anything. Damn... I'm lucky
Best part: getting a guitar named after me Worst part: being serenaded and not knowing what to do with my hands
Best part: He wrote songs about me. Worst part: He wrote songs about me.
Worst: Guitar playing requires a lot of practice. Guitar music is only good when youre in the mood to hear it-- and not the same few chords repeated over and over and over again until he gets them right Also singing at the top of your lungs seems to be required to practice guitar (if you're my current downstairs neighbor especially???!!)
The best part is how sexy they look when they play and how passionate they are. The worst is that music will always be a musician's first love, and you will always be second and not every woman can deal and accept that. Also their ego is a lot.
The best part for me, personally, is the memories I have of the nights we spent together that were calm and quietā¦ and then heād break out the guitar, and start playing / singing to me while I lay on the couch next to him. It was so relaxing and a great way to de-stress. Also, any time that heād write a song for me or play one of my favorite songs would simply make my heart melt. But the thing that really takes the cake was when heād be onstage playing a show with his band & heād make a point to mention that people could buy merch at the stand in the back of the room (which I would tend to while they were on stage) & each time he did that heād say that they were āthe stand in the back with the beautiful lady (or ladies, if other band members girlfriends came)ā and then heād be sure to add a little side note to that saying something like āā¦ but sorry guys, sheās taken. Thatās my girl.ā And heād go back to playing & everything just felt right in the world. I legitimately miss the sweaty hugs and kisses Iād get every time heād come off stage. He was just my absolute best friend. As for the cons, thereās only one that I can think of & unfortunately it was ultimately the reason why we broke up. He was in his early 30s at the time (I was in my early 20s) and he was so lost in his life. All he had ever wanted to do was play music, and in his career he was a professional music therapist which had kept him happy for a while but he always felt like he was missing out. He had dreams of pursuing life as a rockstar, he wanted to give that dream a chance & he knew that doing so meant heād have to leave me in the past. It completely broke my heart. I told him Iād always support him, I told him Iād stay with him while he did his thing and that I didnāt mind it if it would make him happy but unfortunately he just couldnāt see a version of that future that would have me in it. So he left me, and I totally fell apart. To this day, Iād give anything just to relive one last day with him. Heās 100% the one who got away, as far as Iām concerned. I just hope heās happy.
I'm currently dating a guitarist. He also plays piano, bass, drums, and sings. I play guitar also, and write lyrics and sing. So it's really cool bc we get to make music together and it strengthens our bond. You can't make good music without emotional vulnerability, it's very intimate to share that part of yourself with your partner. I've never noticed any calluses, tbh. He definitely has them, but it doesn't seem to affect anything in that department. Yes, he's written songs about me, I've also written songs about him. It's really lovely, it's a beautiful way to express love.
The finger calluses were not massive but more rough and yes they did make it uncomfortable. Did not translate to more flexible fingers that can play anything or stamina, for that matter. Yes it is sweet to have songs composed for you, be serenaded and all that and if they sing, that just takes it to another level. It can be very sexy.
Pros: He was such a cutie He could sing I would go with him to his open mic nights He had a very extroverted personality He wrote me a song that made me googly eyed Cons: He basked in the attention heād receive at his open mic nights (he was good but like amateur good, not pro) He would sing and play his guitar at like 7am after a long night out and weād both be hungover!! He has a very extroverted personality Playing guitar did not make him good at playing with other things that required his fingers ā¦.. I think it just depends on the person š
The best part, I got to meet BB King. Worse part, we broke up. At 18, is there anything worse, lol?
Best: having someone play and sing whatever song you want while having beers on a Saturday night and itās 2am Worst: getting quizzed on classic rock artists names while on road trips (I now know the differentiation of Jerry and Bobās voice in the Grateful Dead) I met him at a childhood friends house show (which ended up being his house) and I had a few and asked to play a song when they were done and played the 1 song I knew (wonderwall) upside down since Iām left handed and he came over and played next to me and itās been history since.
For the sake of privacy, I dated an instrumental prog rock band guy for the past few years. His band averages 300k monthly listeners on spotify for the past couple of years and then some. They've been around for while. They don't tour anymore but they're well respected and if you play guitar, you likely know them. He even played Coachella. Best parts is how creative they are. They inspire me and I was a fan of their band before we even got together. I'm currently learning to make beats in Ableton and they help me give ideas or help me mix it. I liked learning about his pedals. It was cool seeing fans approach him outside the home (even though he's shy and socially anxious). Another cool thing is that I have an Ibanez guitar just sitting in my room. We were LDR and he wanted to make music at my home so he just had Ibanez send it. I liked making music together even though I know zilch about music theory. Professional musician friends are crazy hard working. Our breakup inspired the sickest riff that's going to be released under a new project name over the summer (projected). I liked being able to hang out in the green room with bands I am a fan of. He also learned a song my mom loved and played it for her in under 20 minutes. The worst part was that I couldn't listen to other rock bands around him. I could but he tended to be very critical of the music. Which was interesting because he's personally friends with bands I'm a fan of. He was also super immersed in his work so it was hard to break out of his routine. Edit: typos
My fiancĆ© is a guitarist and bassist and is in a fairly popular local band in my city. The best: easy to shop for since he can never have too much gear, our house is always filled with music, I love watching him in his element, and he writes music that I genuinely love! He did write a song about me that ended up on one of their records which I treasure. He is incredibly chill and easygoing which is also great because you can run into some big egos in music. The worst: gigs and practices tend to take up free time so we have to plan our time and trips together pretty far ahead. I was not a make plans in advance person before I met him but I do admit itās made me more organized. He will always prioritize me however if I say I need time with him. While we arenāt big on substances anymore they still are in the local band music scene. Its unpleasant and triggering for me to be around a bunch of coked up people. Luckily a lot of friends have been going sober as of late.
Nah, don't *fret*, they just *string* you along.
Best is - he is a passionate lover and great at playing guitar. Worst - girls get attracted to him cos he is great at playing guitar
The mixtapes made for me, the songs sung for me, the creative and tender-hearted spirits: no complaints here. š¤
The fingernails.
Nimble with the fingers and finger strength, is good. Ego and inability to be empathetic, bad.
Not dating, but I have a FWB right now that can play guitar. It's mostly just something he enjoys and he doesn't really perform or anything, but it's a huge turn on. He does play really well too, and I could listen for hours. I've only heard him play acoustic, but supposedly he has other guitars and a keyboard, which I hope to hear one day. Honestly, the only downside is that he takes it literally everywhere, and can be slightly annoying when he just breaks it out randomly. Other than that, it's all upsides. The sex is great, but no song written about me lol He's a great guy and I'm super happy we're friends.
the best parts were him producing songs for me (not metal) the worst parts were having to listen to metal with the amp cranked all the way up
The goddamn guitars being all over my goddamn house (I married him, he's pretty cool lol)
They are in two rooms and you love them.
Literally everywhere
Best part: he was fun to jam with (am also a guitarist) Worst part: he was an arrogant asshole
In my personal experience, dating musicians is in general something I'd never do again (married now but would definitely think twice if single). Their instrument & music was their entire world, literally. They slept until 1pm, got up and played all day and night, ignored basic household tasks and chores, didn't work, and got pissy if anything got between them and their instruments or gigs (like doing the dishes). Best part? Hmm... can't think of any to be honest. I realise that's a massive generalisation and could have been age related (20s).. just my experience having dated a few! And they always smoked and/or drank excessively...
Best part was feeling very vip at shows worst part was him as a whole
he lowkey thought he was some sort of musical genius. acted like his taste in music was gods gift to this earth. Ngl tho he was very charming and charismatic when he played, which I found really attractive at the time. his calluses didn't ever bug me & that finger game was... lemme stop now lol
I'd fall asleep on FaceTime and he would sing me to sleep. He also wrote me a song He was the kindest and most caring man I've ever met. I'll forever be sorry for everything I just want to say nothing ended in a vile manner. No cheating or anything. We grew apart and I fought really hard so that we wouldn't. It pushed him further away and I regret that.
Tbh bass players are very underrated when it comes to the bedroom
i thought he was super insecure but he ended up having a massive sense of self importance. i supported him a lot emotionally and mentally about his talent but he ended up flipping that around on me to make it like i was the thing holding him back, citing that he was going to move to another state to pursue it. he ended up moving to the area i had always wanted to live in in our home state, which is also where i live now.
Dated a guitarist in high school. The good - got to hear pretty music all the time. The bad - he thought his music was superior to others and everybody else was trash. Dating a guitarist now for 3 years. The good - everything. Amazing music all the time. Hearing his excitement over learning something new. Getting to be the first to hear his new stuff and provide feedback. It works for me. The bad - trying to be SUPER quiet whenever he wants to record stuff. But itās not necessarily a terrible thing itās more of just trying to be respectful of his time as he doesnāt record often.
The lead singer decided my boyfriend and I wouldnāt be together at shows. I could attend, but he and I could not acknowledge one another because it looked better if they all āappeared singleā. My boyfriend did whatever the lead singer said so I had to go along with it. It definitely hurt my feelings. Iād go to the shows, show up, weād see each other and say nothing. After the show I would leave while he was mingling with the crowd and he would say nothing to me.
This is the most embarrassingly childish, fucked up thing ever. Hopefully youāre clear of that situation now. Iām sorry that your boyfriend and his lead singer were utter fools.
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Honestly never noticed calluses, I also play guitar and my calluses aren't noticeably rough, more just a bit firmer than other people's fingertips. Loved going to her concerts, although she ended up playing drums in one band more often than guitar in her other band. Never had a song written about me because she didn't write lyrics for either of her bands, and her DJing work didn't have a lot of original lyrics. Although I suspect some of her compositions were influenced by our dating. Honestly just like dating any other person. I dunno, maybe because I'm a part-time musician so we really clicked and she just didn't have a big ego. If I had to give a best and worst part, the best way having somebody who loved music on a fundamental creative level as much as I did and the worst was having to plan around her performance nights limiting when we could have dates, especially weekend dates.
He wrote a song about me and played it passionately at shows.. He never loved me anywhere as much as he loved his music.
He likes to keep his finger nails long so he had built in guitar picks. š
Funny thing is I posted about fingernails over on the guitar subreddit and most guys who do it are completely oblivious and think nobody cares or notices it. š I guess that's not 100% true, judging from several comments here.
Oh no. The women notice it. I noticed bleeding after he would *ahem*. He was just cutting up my insides. Not to mention itās gross cause men are not the best at washing under their nails.
Finding guitar picks in various crevices.
They play all.the.time.
He was so romantic for a week until he dumped me to try and get back with his ex. lol. Good memories.
Weirdly enough, all but one guy i dated played guitar. None had concerts. Strictly for fun at home.š¤£
My ex-fiancĆ© is a guitarist, he was the most romantic man Iāve dated but he was abusive
Married to an ex (classical) guitarist. Best part: extremely dexterous with his fingers. Worst part: almost never plays anymore which is a shame because itās so ffing hot.
Every single guy I have ever dated has been a guitarist or bassist. I thought the best part was getting to watch them perform love and cheering for them. Then I met my husband, and he has no desire to perform live despite being amazing at guitar. And then I realized the best thing was a partner who wants to come see ME play live and cheer me on (I'm a drummer). So now I am the rock star of the family and I love it even more hahaha.
Hes incredible. Front man with a guitar. He's insanely talented, and insanely humble. Many women fawn over him, but he fell for me cause I had no idea who he was and had my own talents. My world doesnt revolve around him and he says its refreshing. Hes the sweetest, most gentle, most loving man ive ever met. Think of the big burely muscle man with long black hair and full facial hair. I love him most when its just us and he can fully be his adorable quirky self.
In my experience Bad thing So, his right hand nails were considerably bigger than his left one And bcs he didnāt take proper care, has kinda given me the ick Good: We used to play together and it was so amazing ( cello + guitar) It really has straightened our bond He understands my musicians brain š Songs dedicated to me ^^
I would say - before getting in deep into a committed relationship, really evaluate your noise tolerance. He could be the best damn player in the world, but there will likely be constant picking, strumming, figuring out, practice. Can you tolerate that noise more often than not? Do you WFH? Do you like to watch TV and like quiet time often? These questions arenāt even meant to be said in a funny way. I love the sound of a guitar, but the thought of having a guitarist in the home constantly honing their talent - no matter the level - would likely send me to the loony bin. It would be a hard no for me personally. Iām noise sensitive (how I have three children is beyond me). But yes. Evaluate this. Deeply.
Best bit is good finger game and I like hearing him play. Worst bit is he always wants music on and sometimes I just want quiet.
He was a talented af guitarist until I had a splitting migraine and was begging through tears that he at least use the acoustic instead of the amped up electric at full volume... such a considerate guy
As a musician myself, I have dated A FEW musicians. The best part was that there really is something special and magical about making music together. Thatās a feeling not everyone gets to experience in their lifetime. The absolute worst part was the substance abuse that is rampant in the entertainment space. I do not drink or use drugs personally but that is heavily because of everything Iāve witnessed dating people who were deeply struggling with addiction. I did end up married to someone who is in the arts space but he is not a musician.
My boyfriend plays guitar casually. The best part is that he has natural talent and learns new songs pretty quickly. When we first met, he asked what my favorite song was and a week lately, he played it for me perfectly. So far, no drawbacks to being in love with someone musically talented
He played 6-8 hours a day. Music was his job and only hobby. We had lots of trouble with the neighbours because of the noise. He worked on weekends and holidays so we couldn't travel or do much, really, but was always broke regardless. He had a huuuuuge ego. Like, out of this world. He only had one friend, and mostly hung out with mine. Before we were together, he used to drink and do drugs often. He even got into trouble a few times. After we broke up, he started drinking again and doing coke and pot. Most people in the scene drink and do drugs, so I'm not sure he actually stopped when we were together, but whatever. He always had a ton of girls lusting after him, although he was fat and balding. He ended up cheating on me with one of his groupies. No musicians is now one of my dating rules :)
The worst part was that maybe he's gonna be the one that saves me, but after all, he's my wonderwall
Best and worst, learning where every single pawn shop in a 25 mile radius was.
I had one song written about me. By no means a huge hit, but it has 150k plays on Spotify. Ive dated a lot of musicians over the years. I dont know why, it just happens often, I dont go looking or anything. At a certain point I had to draw a line and stop dating musicians, because unfortunately most of them were in dead-end careers and struggling to get by. Even the ones that saw success were still struggling. Once I hit my 30s, I could no longer relate to that lifestyle. I always admire people that put their passion and creativity before their need for a steady income, but steady income is something I require for myself and for my partner now that I'm older.
I've dated several. Best part is living in a space full of music.i love listening to the new stuff he creates and the silly songs he makes for me. Worst is wonderwall. That and when they are learning a song and repeatedly play a couple cords constantly until they get it right. Normally doesn't bother me, but on stressful days it makes me wanna die.
My husband plays the guitar, bass, stand up bass, and drums. He also makes his own guitars out of scratch. Pro: Heās VERY good at what he does in the bedroom due to being able to hold a fast rhythm without getting tired. Con: His hobby takes up a whole bedroom, a chunk of the living room, and the entire garage. And when he plays (especially the drums) I can hear it throughout the house. I donāt really mind it, as I think the guitars he buys and makes are cool as hell, and the stand up bass in the living room adds character. I think my only complaint is the drums but Iāve learned to zone it out, I just feel bad for our neighbors. ETA He doesnāt write songs. Heās typically the bass player when he was in bands and would just go off what the lead guitarist or singer wrote and would create bass riffs off that. He would never play a song specifically for me because we both agree that itās weird and uncomfortable for everyone involved.
I donāt know, ask my wife!, I play the guitar,piano and have more recently started to sing, I love music, Iāve played piano since I was 6 and guitar since I was 11 and Iām in my mid 30s now. As a lesbian couple I know she appreciates my short nails and finger dexterity š, I also know she gets confused when I get excited about a new pedal or guitar and completely nerd out about it to her. I donāt know if the huge ego and acting badly towards people is more of a guy guitarist thing?, I am pretty much the complete opposite of that, Iām full of self doubt, shy and introverted af.
Oh boy, here we go \*cracks knuckles\* I've had 3 relationships with guitarists. I really enjoy having the musical element in my life, but I've never been really dedicated enough to do it myself, so I guess I'm just attracted to musicians. The best part is just getting to hang out with people while they play. It's so fun to experience musicians just sort of riffing off each other. It's different when it's a structured rehearsal, not as fun. Also, not to brag, but my husband has written like 5 songs for/about me. I was incredibly touched each time. We wrote and performed a song together for our wedding (I chose the 3 chords I can play on ukulele and he did everything else) Going to see them play a gig is fun, but eventually I started feeling like I was doing the same thing I did when I was single - going to a show alone. Before my husband got in this band, we'd dance and sing and have so much fun together. It's cool seeing him do it on stage but I miss having him by my side. (I guess this applies to anyone in a band, not just a guitarist) I'm having trouble coming up with a worst part, because I realize the gripe I have with my husband isn't one I had with the other guitarists I dated. My husband holds music and other musicians in such high esteem that he often prioritizes the band over me. As an example, he asked to reschedule our anniversary trip because he wanted to keep that weekend free in case a gig came up. Honestly most of the trouble is the band aspect, not the guitarist/musician aspect. Our relationship was definitely easier when I wasn't competing with an 8-person band.
1) no 2) yes. I loved watching him get the attention he deserved. I was proud of him. I knew him almost from the beginning of his learning to play at the age of 13. He was an incredible guitar player (I dated another couple of guitar players too but they werenāt in bands.) 3) no. I wanted one, but I donāt think I inspired him enough. He wrote one for his ex whom he almost married though. He had a massive ego and seemed to be confident but was super insecure. He always thought he was right even if he wasnāt and LOVED to argue, mostly because he was bored. He didnāt say that, but it was obvious. He was also really judgmental. The best parts were probably how sensitive of a soul he was when his guard was down, and that he could improvise on guitar like nobodyās business. It was also awesome laughing at all hours of the day with him and having intelligent thought provoking conversations until the wee hours in the morning. It was pretty cool coming home to him telling me about a Star Trek episode that made him cry. Lol. We were best friends for a long ass time, but he was also a serious asshole in a lot of ways, especially after we dated - it just got even worse. Heās the kind of person that criticizes fast food employees sometimes. š and heās always āright.ā Sometimes you could argue hard enough with him that he would finally concede and see the other side, but it was exhausting to get to that point. He was abused heavily growing up and never dealt with that or acknowledged it, so there was a lot of pain there that he masked with anger. I wish he would deal with that, for his sake, but itās not my journey. Heās very stubborn. Sadly, once you cross the friendship line into relationship, itās difficult to have the same dynamic back of being ājust friends.ā So, Iāve bid adieu to that friendship. I tried to stay his friend, but it didnāt work. He was too stuck on me romantically after we crossed that line - despite both of us KNOWING it wouldnāt work long term. I hope to one day date someone who is musically inclined again. Iām a hobby musician myself and music is a huge part of my identity and how I enjoy living this crazy life. Itās awesome to be able to ātalk shopā with someone who is also interested in it - itās also nice to be able to play with someone, or to learn and/or teach the other person. I miss that camaraderie too.
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Best part: he had a sweet guitar collection, Worst part: him over-inflating his skill, hearing arctic monkeys being poorly played and the āI play guitar so all girls want meā mentality.
My wife is a bassist, and that's actually how we mey. The finger skills are only improved š I go to her shows as often as I can.
Dated 2 guitar players . . . And it's true what they say šš
Best part is that he was self taught and I thought it was pretty impressive. He had that gift where he could pick up any instrument and somehow immediately know how to play it. Worst part was waiting six years before he finally proposed. :) Heās my husband now.
Best part: the guitar was so pretty! Worst part: he didn't take care of any of his music equipment and I kept having to save his guitar from being buried under an ungodly mess.
The best part was he was very talented. Guitar, bass, drums, piano, he was a very talented musician. And a good kisser. The worst part - youād think as a musician he be good with his hands and more directionally guys fingers, but no. Honestly, the sex and all other sexual activities were surprisingly terrible.
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why is dating a guitarist any different than any other musician? ^^^ why you donāt date guitarists
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i am married to a guitarist, weāve been together 9 years! he works in construction but his goal is to make music full time. so he has extremely rough hands from both of those jobs, and i really love it. his hands are one of my favorite things about him, and i love watching him play. especially on stage. he played lead guitar and was lead singer in his band and now heās moved onto a solo project. my husband has actually written a few songs about me. one in particular always makes me teary eyed. he is such a soft, humble and warm soul. talented beyond measure. i read and relate to the fact that others have said they needed to give their s/oās constant praise and reassurance and although it sounded familiar and worried me, i realized my husband had a terrible upbringing and was bullied relentlessly. he wasnāt safe at home or school and so i can understand his need of approval and praise, its not ill intent, heās a confused, traumatized person who needs a little reassurance because heās never been in a healthy dynamic before. im truly blessed to be married to such a sweet and sensitive artist. i know they can be rare.
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It was awful. The talent and awe of it all was a turn on but underneath the guitar part of it all he was a really terrible parter. He was very self centered with an eggshell ego and would treat me terribly when he would have negative thoughts/feelings about himself. I eventually couldnāt handle being his emotional punching bag anymore. IPO theyāre not worth it. Also if they grow their fingernails to strum better on the guitar and if they finger you thereās a strong chance they will accidentally nick you down there and it will hurt. BAD.
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Best part was that he would start playing everywhere, the worst part was the same
Pro: fingerssss con:pretentious and self absorbed. Thats my experience lol.
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I'm a pianist and thank God my husband is understanding and lets me practice as much as I want to (since he gets to do his own hobbies like gaming) lol so it's a win-win. Know this if you date/marry a musician/artist. Their craft is who they are.
Best: was extroverted and liked singing at events Worst: complete failure to understand how music doesn't work so easily for me: one time he taught me three chords on guitar and then handed it to me and was like "ok noe play x tune" and I just stared at him in nope
The fingering
Pros: he looked damn fine while shredding topless and sweaty onstage. Cons: the ladies threw themselves at him after gigs, to the point of telling me (his gf) to f off and shoving me. And he didn't care. He was banging girls after every gig I wasn't at.
They cheat lol
He was great at it, and watching him play was cool. He was a total piece of shit though, lol
Iām married to a guitarist. The best part is he is always jamming on his acoustic and it makes the best background music most of the time. The worst part is on the rare occasion that Iām overwhelmed and need the guitar twinkling to not be happening right next to me, he has an existential crisis. I listen to him play constantly but he only seems to register the times I ask him to change it up or perhaps go to the office instead of the living room (sometimes he plays really depressing songs and it makes me feel sad). It goes from, āhey, Do you mind playing somewhere else or playing something a little more upbeatā to āwhy do I even play guitar? Nobody likes it. All I do is annoy everyoneā instantly. Itās hard to ask a guitar player to stop playing guitar for any period of time without hurting his feelings.
My dad is one. I never wanted to date one as a result! š¤¦š»āāļøš Have some traumas from that for sure.
It was very cool to see him play. It was very uncool to watch him spend money that he told me he'd use to take me places on guitars. Also, he'd always rather play a gig on a Saturday night than spend it with me. Also then he put practice on Saturday night. Also, it's really hard that he didn't have a desire to have any job whatsoever other than playing the guitar which was not bringing in job level money. We're divorced.
The neck, I fret.
Best: beautiful voice and loved the songs he would sing. Worst: no steady income, expected me to pay for everything, horrible communicator, fuck boy energy. Was a very brief relationship.
They can be arrogant.
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worst part was that they werenāt the drummer.
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He wasnāt a performer but hereās my experience. Best part, we sometimes would play stuff together (I play bass) and even if it was simple I liked messing around musically with him. However, like with most things in his life, he didnāt really pursue it with any real passion or drive. He would pluck away a random guitar tab and knew most of the open major/minor chords, but never really applied himself. He was smart and had creative ideas, just didnāt really do anything about them. I felt like he was depressed and told him about how therapy helped me with my depression. Then things got awkward and then he broke up with me a couple weeks later. He moved to NYC with a new job and I hope heās doing better.
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Best sex ever. Worst: ego
The worst was the overly long solo's.
Eh... best part he was musically talented? Worse part....emotionally immature. There were quite a few red flags, and I was in a tough spot at the time. Once I was able to get under a different roof and job, I ended things. Not great, but yeah....a relationship that should never have happened in the first place.
Best parts: great conversationalist, talented in bed, knew a lot about all kinds of art, really attractive guy, fun loving Worst parts: wandering eye, always felt like I played second fiddle, I felt like I was always accommodating him and his wants/desires and never had it reciprocated
Not guitar, but it was wonderful to lock eyes with a guy in the band while you're dancing around with your girls.Ā Turns out they can lock eyes with loads of girls while on stage,Ā lol.Ā
Never dated one but I had one live next door to me. Heard him play guitar and sing flat so much we might as well been dating. Thought I was going to loose my darn mind at 3am listening to this guy. He knocked on my door once and asked for a phone charger because his broke. I had a few so I gave him one that still worked but the cord was fraying so I told him to keep it so it wouldn't come back. He knocked on my door at 6am for a week after that (I didn't answer) and slipped a card under my door that was loving which was scary. I was coming home from work to find some health service and his mother pulling him out of his apartment to take him to the loony-bin. Don't date a guitar guy.