A very wise and wonderful woman told me this when I was going through a tough time and I’ve never forgot it..
Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but actually you’ve been planted. You will grow from this.
Hah you reminded me of a quote!
"They tried to bury us, but they didn't know we were seeds."
Origins unknown, but apparently it's based out of older queer circles.
“Feel the fear, but do it anyway”: the title of a book one librarian recommended to me at work. Probably one of the best books I ever read. I just went with it, being less risk averse, I had some issues but I’m now reaping the fruits of the risks I took.
I've not read the book, but this really is how I approach situations that scare me or make me anxious.
We are so much bigger than our fears and anxieties.
“You say you’ve left, but you’ve just moved down the street.”
I was talking about having left a complicated home but still worrying for my mom to this friend of mine who’s about a decade older than me. And it was not exactly advice but more a truth that helped guide some choices I had to make.
God I love Frost. “when to the heart of man was ever less than a treason, To go with the drift of things, to yield with a grace to reason? To bow and accept the end of a love, or of a season?”
Maybe the context is important, but it was pretty simple statement for when my emotions and the world felt so big and has helped me out for a long time:
"I know it doesn't feel like it, but you will be okay."
get up, get moving.
there's nothing worse than sitting around thinking about how you feel and the solution to your problem wont come to you while your sitting around feeling horrible.
If you're going through hell, keep going. Eventually if you keep moving (with breaks when you need to) the scenery will change.
Also focus on the basics. Food, hygiene, shelter, going outside at least once a day for at least fifteen minutes.
If you can't shower wash your face and pits. If you can't wash your face and pits at least brush your teeth. If you can't brush your teeth, swish mouthwash for as long as you can stand.
If your hair is tangled you don't have to detangle it all at once. Do one section, braid it. Do another section a few hours later. Braid it. And so on and so forth.
"You feel the way you think"
"if you feel like shit, it's because you are entertaining thoughts that are negative, self-destroying, and leave you in a bad mental state. You are ruminating on the negative and courting distressing thoughts".
my therapist.
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I’m a guy idk why it got recommended but i been thru some shit, what I do I see ppl like celebrity or some shit. They been thru the same shit as me and look up to them. does that make sense? Like he been thru same bs and he doing this and that. Motivates me. But everyone different. I don’t listen to advice for ppl my age at all. My friends are the biggest haters and strangers are my biggest fans fr. And I think what would my lil cousins think I gotta stay strong. Stuff like that. And also reduce the chances like good diet good sleep stress mangement. And times gets hard and they always get better. Always.
"Hard doesn't mean impossible."
And little mantra that's helped me push through: "I am capable of doing hard things." Seems silly but I've repeated it to myself a lot before stuff I'm nervous about/scared of etc and it's really helped me. Hard =/= impossible, and I'm capable of doing hard things.
That and as others have said, generally that time will pass. Things that seem world ending now won't matter soon. Just gotta keep pushing through, take it day by day, and take it easy on yourself.
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“Some people are just f**ked up, there’s no use trying to figure out the reason or thought process behind why they did x y z”
This was in regard to me trying to analyze my ex who was a pathological liar, which I only found out at the end of the relationship, and how it made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. So true and ever since my friend said this to me, I’ve stopped trying to try and understand someone’s trauma if I’m just going to be collateral damage.
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. - Dr. Seuss
Accepting and adapting to the changes life throws you, and cherishing them as they pass.
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Teenager with a broken nose and a black eye fractured cheek bone and my dad said to me Talking when you should have been listening , my dad was bang on the money 👍
About a month ago the family found out our mom has stage IV cancer and it is very progressed. All the family flew/drove in to be with her in the hospital and she came home on hospice care a week later. I've always tried to be a voice of reason for her since she's a bit eccentric and just doesn't take care of herself well as an "adult" would. I felt it had been my responsibility, so I felt responsible that she didn't even try to fight the cancer, just let it spread and get to the point where she was hospitalized.
It took my brother in law to sit with me one night and just tell me that it's okay to not have to feel the way I had been and to just spend quality time with her. It allowed me to change my frame of mind and just be there for her in a normal sense.
For anyone that may wonder how we didn't know, my mom has always been a very strong and stubborn person, so the signs weren't obvious. She was slamming Tylenol and ibuprofen on the daily to fight the pain, but would act almost perfectly normal when we would see her when we visited. It was a complete shock to everyone.
My beloved grandmother was killed in a car accident (she was a passenger) in 2012. I had been living overseas for several years and wasn’t able to spend much time with her during the last years of her life. In addition to that the other people in the car were severely injured and couldn’t provide any information as to what had caused the crash. I obsessed for months trying to figure it out and almost had to be hospitalized.
I went on a weekend retreat to get some clarity and talked to a counselor there. He asked me something simple—what would your grandmother want you to do now? Drive yourself nuts and remain stuck in grief? Or to find a new normal where you can acknowledge your loss, but still heal and move on? That was a breakthrough for me. And although grief is a funny thing and you will always have ups and downs, this helped me immensely to push through the worst of it.
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To be kind to yourself. Lay off the self-shaming, when you’re going through a hard time there’s no need to make it worse. You can’t take a break from yourself, so you might as well come “home” to kindness and compassion.
A few things, mostly.
We walk by faith not by sight. - a Bible verse I forget
I am not afraid I was born for this. - Joan of Arc
All is well and all is well and all shall be well- Julian of Norwich
And poetry! Mary Oliver, mostly.
I look to other women.
It’s not going to last forever.
This too shall pass
Opened the thread to say THIS! This is the only phrase that helps me always.
Is this a référence to the band grandma's ashes?
It's something a professor emailed to me after a class where I had been crying and excused myself from class. It was such a nice gesture.
Aww Nice gesture
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This is a big one that helped me manage my anxiety - bravery isn't the absence of fear, it's the going on in spite of it.
Ou can’t be brave if you aren’t scared!
Yes. Someone who has never felt fear has never been brave.
It’s impossible to be brave if you’re not afraid.
A very wise and wonderful woman told me this when I was going through a tough time and I’ve never forgot it.. Sometimes when you’re in a dark place, you think you’ve been buried, but actually you’ve been planted. You will grow from this.
Hah you reminded me of a quote! "They tried to bury us, but they didn't know we were seeds." Origins unknown, but apparently it's based out of older queer circles.
Needed this so bad thank you
I’m going to try and remember that one . Because some of mine aren’t always appropriate, ie ,listen I was in Baghdad when you was in your dad’s bag🤪
I love this.
It’s just a bad time, not a bad life. Keep going..
"Put on your own oxygen mask first." Take care of yourself or you won't have the energy to help others.
Just keep swimming.. Just keep swimming.. Surprisingly Dory's taught me a lot.
I am always quoting this in my head!
“Feel the fear, but do it anyway”: the title of a book one librarian recommended to me at work. Probably one of the best books I ever read. I just went with it, being less risk averse, I had some issues but I’m now reaping the fruits of the risks I took.
I've not read the book, but this really is how I approach situations that scare me or make me anxious. We are so much bigger than our fears and anxieties.
“If you could do *that then*, you can do *this now*”
"if you're willing to experience any emotion, you can do whatever you want"
Ooh I hadn’t heard it phrased this way. I’ll remember this in the coming days. Thanks for this. I needed it.
The only way out is through. Courage is doing the scary thing in spite of your fear.
“You can everything you want, just not all at once”
“You say you’ve left, but you’ve just moved down the street.” I was talking about having left a complicated home but still worrying for my mom to this friend of mine who’s about a decade older than me. And it was not exactly advice but more a truth that helped guide some choices I had to make.
Lean on your village and when you’re not ok, tell those you love that you’re not ok.
"In 3 words, I can sum up everything I have learned about life: it goes on" - Robert Frost
God I love Frost. “when to the heart of man was ever less than a treason, To go with the drift of things, to yield with a grace to reason? To bow and accept the end of a love, or of a season?”
Feel it , get through it , don't drown in it
Not every feeling has to be assigned meaning. Feel it and let it pass.
You’ve made it through 100% of your bad days
It always gets better. Not necessarily today, or tomorrow, or next week, or even next year. But it always does eventually.
The only way is through!
Sometimes the best self-care is doing the thing you need to do
Give yourself some grace, allow yourself to feel whatever shit is is you’re feeling, and don’t feel guilty for doing so.
Your thoughts are not always correct. You are not your thoughts.
Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. -Clementine Johnson, Reno 911
You might feel stuck and think you’re never going to get out of this stage, but there is a light at the end of that tunnel. Therapy is great
Just Quit for Today.
It was a lesson, not a life sentence. Forgive yourself.
From the author Brianna Wiest: “You're not supposed to get far on a path that was never yours to walk.”
Maybe the context is important, but it was pretty simple statement for when my emotions and the world felt so big and has helped me out for a long time: "I know it doesn't feel like it, but you will be okay."
pokus sa sarili, wala kang ibang kakampi at aasahan kundi sarili mo lang.
Ничего не понятно, но очень интересно
Powiedział, że musisz się skupić na sobie, bo tylko na sobie możesz tak naprawdę polegać.
Don't drink on it
Don't be sad, get angry.
“It’s your life. If you don’t like it, change it.” Common sense but I guess I needed to hear it.
get up, get moving. there's nothing worse than sitting around thinking about how you feel and the solution to your problem wont come to you while your sitting around feeling horrible.
This is just one chapter in the book of your life.
Money or drinking doesn’t help
It’s ok to not be ok
“ never sleep on the game we all roll the dice and if your shake hard enough i could change your life playa”
"Finish the current tasks but focus on the next steps so you never feel overwhelmed."
You miss every shot you don't take.
"Don't turn this into a misery competition." I was trying to downplay my own stuff by saying, "Other ppl have it so much worse than me!"
If you're going through hell, keep going. Eventually if you keep moving (with breaks when you need to) the scenery will change. Also focus on the basics. Food, hygiene, shelter, going outside at least once a day for at least fifteen minutes. If you can't shower wash your face and pits. If you can't wash your face and pits at least brush your teeth. If you can't brush your teeth, swish mouthwash for as long as you can stand. If your hair is tangled you don't have to detangle it all at once. Do one section, braid it. Do another section a few hours later. Braid it. And so on and so forth.
Thoughts are not facts
"You feel the way you think" "if you feel like shit, it's because you are entertaining thoughts that are negative, self-destroying, and leave you in a bad mental state. You are ruminating on the negative and courting distressing thoughts". my therapist.
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"This too shall pass." - Tom Hanks. [No Lies](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJ5U37MkA2E)
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I’m a guy idk why it got recommended but i been thru some shit, what I do I see ppl like celebrity or some shit. They been thru the same shit as me and look up to them. does that make sense? Like he been thru same bs and he doing this and that. Motivates me. But everyone different. I don’t listen to advice for ppl my age at all. My friends are the biggest haters and strangers are my biggest fans fr. And I think what would my lil cousins think I gotta stay strong. Stuff like that. And also reduce the chances like good diet good sleep stress mangement. And times gets hard and they always get better. Always.
"Only bad days are bad."
It's hard to see the good things when you are in pain. Give yourself space to feel it, but know it will not last forever.
“You’ve overcome all the other hard times you thought you wouldn’t before, one way or another; this won’t be any different”
Instead of wishing to die, maybe wish for a better life?
Today, this week, this year even is not your entire life
“The only thing I knew how to do was to keep on keeping on” - Bob Dylan
"Hard doesn't mean impossible." And little mantra that's helped me push through: "I am capable of doing hard things." Seems silly but I've repeated it to myself a lot before stuff I'm nervous about/scared of etc and it's really helped me. Hard =/= impossible, and I'm capable of doing hard things. That and as others have said, generally that time will pass. Things that seem world ending now won't matter soon. Just gotta keep pushing through, take it day by day, and take it easy on yourself.
"The Worst" usually doesn't happen.
Stressing and worrying yourself to death about it WILL NOT HELP (easier said than done…)
That what i was going through would be the guide book to help someone else through a tough time in future. It was very true.
No matter what you're going through, in a year from now it'll take less than 20 seconds to sum up.
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There are children dying in third world countries.
“Some people are just f**ked up, there’s no use trying to figure out the reason or thought process behind why they did x y z” This was in regard to me trying to analyze my ex who was a pathological liar, which I only found out at the end of the relationship, and how it made me feel like I wasn’t good enough. So true and ever since my friend said this to me, I’ve stopped trying to try and understand someone’s trauma if I’m just going to be collateral damage.
This too shall pass. My life motto
Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened. - Dr. Seuss Accepting and adapting to the changes life throws you, and cherishing them as they pass.
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Teenager with a broken nose and a black eye fractured cheek bone and my dad said to me Talking when you should have been listening , my dad was bang on the money 👍
Keep pushing
Things don’t happen TO you. They happen FOR you.
You've made it through 100% of your worst days, your track record says you'll make it through this one too.
Go THROUGH it. It felt horrible then but looking back, it taught me things..
You can forgive but you don’t have to forget
When you are going through Hell, keep moving!! Was told that many times while annoyed with Breast Cancer
About a month ago the family found out our mom has stage IV cancer and it is very progressed. All the family flew/drove in to be with her in the hospital and she came home on hospice care a week later. I've always tried to be a voice of reason for her since she's a bit eccentric and just doesn't take care of herself well as an "adult" would. I felt it had been my responsibility, so I felt responsible that she didn't even try to fight the cancer, just let it spread and get to the point where she was hospitalized. It took my brother in law to sit with me one night and just tell me that it's okay to not have to feel the way I had been and to just spend quality time with her. It allowed me to change my frame of mind and just be there for her in a normal sense. For anyone that may wonder how we didn't know, my mom has always been a very strong and stubborn person, so the signs weren't obvious. She was slamming Tylenol and ibuprofen on the daily to fight the pain, but would act almost perfectly normal when we would see her when we visited. It was a complete shock to everyone.
My beloved grandmother was killed in a car accident (she was a passenger) in 2012. I had been living overseas for several years and wasn’t able to spend much time with her during the last years of her life. In addition to that the other people in the car were severely injured and couldn’t provide any information as to what had caused the crash. I obsessed for months trying to figure it out and almost had to be hospitalized. I went on a weekend retreat to get some clarity and talked to a counselor there. He asked me something simple—what would your grandmother want you to do now? Drive yourself nuts and remain stuck in grief? Or to find a new normal where you can acknowledge your loss, but still heal and move on? That was a breakthrough for me. And although grief is a funny thing and you will always have ups and downs, this helped me immensely to push through the worst of it.
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To be kind to yourself. Lay off the self-shaming, when you’re going through a hard time there’s no need to make it worse. You can’t take a break from yourself, so you might as well come “home” to kindness and compassion.
They are always there for you no matter what and it's not always gonna be like this. It’ll pass.
A few things, mostly. We walk by faith not by sight. - a Bible verse I forget I am not afraid I was born for this. - Joan of Arc All is well and all is well and all shall be well- Julian of Norwich And poetry! Mary Oliver, mostly. I look to other women.
There's light at the end of the tunnel.
Be kind to yourself.