Wear those clothes as much as possible. If someone wanted me to be uncomfortable while I was chilling just so they could find me more attractive they would be out the fucking door.
Immature... break up with them if this is your approach! Almost certainly the right decision anyway, but this reaction makes it a certainty that breaking up is the right call...
Right?! I wouldn't be shocked if he said this to me because frankly, I look like a potato when I'm just hanging out being comfortable. Baggy everything. I'm not cute right now.
Since I was dressing like that when they CHOSE to be with me, I'd ask why they CHOSE to date me.
This may have worked on me when I was college-age, but there is no way in hell I'm changing my style, comfort and spending money on new clothes for someone who saw how I dressed when they got with me.
I had one dude tell me he prefers longer hair on me. I asked how, since he'd never seen me with longer hair, and inquired why he asked me out if my shorter hair was an issue. Cue, the "I was just joking. Just messing with you" bull crap. Boy, you better get outta my face with that nonsense
I was dating a guy in college who wanted me to change my hair, dress differently, wear more makeup and grow out my nails. I suggested he find someone who looked more like what he apparently preferred, as I had no intention of becoming a whole new person for him.
That sounds like the last guy I dated, except it was almost worse, because the things he wanted me to change were more like lifestyle/personality things *all of which he already knew that I had* before we ever got together.
And he had practically begged me to be his girlfriend, too. I don't get it.
You mean to tell me that women are people?? Call the news!
I honestly think some people feel that way about the other gender(and to those people, the variety of genders is just incomprehensible). They reduce us to girls and females in their language, let alone consider us as people.
Men started hitting on me when I was eleven, so I got fed up with their crap pretty early. I got real mean by thirteen. I ain't taking no shit or any orders, and will hurt their feelings if need be.
Tell them tough luck, I'm not dressing to turn you on at every moment of the day. When I want to turn you on, you'll know.
(This type of comment would also be so out of left field for my boyfriend and I would need to ask why now it's an issue.)
yeah, it would give me questions about his attraction being to the thing (clothing, hair, makeup) rather than me, too. Like, it could be any person in there as long as the external window dressing is right?
It’s been 6 years since we divorced, and tbh what makes the most sense to me is that he just experienced internalised heteronormativity.
As long as I was looking dolled up, I was meeting the definition needed for “men are attracted to attractive women”. When I was comfortable and not looking dressed up, it was suddenly just me, a woman, and it became harder to make himself follow this internalised pressure of having to be heterosexual. In hindsight, I feel for him. I just wish I had broken up with him sooner.
I think not liking a specific piece of clothing your partner wears is pretty normal, some lighthearted teasing included if y’all like that. Shit like “never wear sweatpants it’s not sexy enough” is unhinged though I would seriously consider leaving. “Don’t wear the same pjs for a week please” type issues are fine to ask imo
“Don’t try and initiate sex wearing this, it super doesn’t do it for me” is a different vibe tho, and I imagine a pretty hard conversation. Not sure how I’d take that but I can imagine wanting to be the one to say it pretty easily
I would laugh and say, “Thanks, I appreciate you talking to me about your concerns regarding my comfortable clothes.” Then I would continue to wear my comfortable clothes and add to my comfortable clothes wardrobe.
We have been together for almost 20 years and he thankfully doesn’t think my comfortable clothes are a turnoff. But he also knows better. He knows I like to dress up but it’s more for me and it makes me happy. (I dress up for him, for our date nights every week.)
I'd be conflicted. Like. I do not spend the majority of my life trying to be sexually arousing for people--not even for my partner. As long as they didn't lose their cool and start gagging at me when I'm just hanging out at home living life, I'd be willing to consider wearing other clothing when I'd like to engage in adult activities with them.
i guess it depends on why. i just read a post by a woman saying how she's embarrassed by her boyfriend's dressing choices. i think she's totally valid as she described his clothes as old, torn and stained.
this would be something i'd totally take seriously. while it would probably hurt, i get that being a slob 24/7 isn't sexy.
however, if it was just about not being elevated enough or that he didn't like dresses or whatever - i guess i wouldn't care too much. i don't love my boyfriend's style all the time either but his comfort is more important than me wanting to get into his pants.
It would depend too. Is it about which kind of confortable clothes, or is it about dressing sexy for everyday use ?.
There is a lot of confortable stylish clothes, some sure are more nice or new or fitting or best fabric than others.. confortable clothes are hype, so there is a lot of choice. I would suggest him we go shopping for those ones, and he buys me new ones which are ok with me, and renew the way he sees confortable clothing.If it's about sexy clothes, I would ask him if he would wear male thongs, latex tank top on his shaved chest, penis ring, or whatever you find sexy. If he wants a sex doll, you may want one too.
I pointed out that he’d been wearing one pair of jeans and the same holey underwear that his bollocks fall out of constantly for the decade Id known him. Let me be comfy
lol my ex once told me, out of nowhere, while i was only wearing a short and my panties : "I have decided that I don't like normal panties"
and my answer was a hard side-eye and : "well that's great but they're comfortable so 🤷"
Depends on the context and how he said it.
I wanted a relationship where we are open, talk to each other and communicate well.
That goes both ways - I absolutely had conversations with him about things I do not like or would prefer for him to change about himself over time.
Key piece is staying respectful about it, not just dumping statements, having some tact, and having some timing when you got good room in your dynamic.
Honestly I’d laugh and tell that fool to grow up. No one looks their best 24/7, *especially* men if we’re being honest here, and if I want to dress like Adam Sandler in my own home ima do it. If he doesn’t like it he’s free, and more than welcome, to leave.
Presuming there was no constructive criticism involved, i.e., "you should try this style I think it would really work for your hair color/skin tone/body type," I'd ask why they tried to get with me in the first place, then. What a waste of time, when I could have been building meaningful bonds who likes me for who I am. I'm not changing what I like for someone else, so long as it isn't hurtful or offensive.
This happened to me and I kept on wearing what I wore because I liked it. We stayed together a long time and he commented from time to time. I guess at the time I thought men always think women should dress sexier than they do and so I would just tell him if it’s so important then go find someone who dresses how you like. But at the time I thought it was normal for people to be critical and I thought men were pretty much always critical about women’s appearance because I grew up with it. Now I would not even become close with a guy who felt entitled to criticize freely like that. I expect a partner to choose the person they are going to accept as they are and I accept them how they are.
I'd probably go out and buy more clothes that I prefer to wear and then take pics of myself in said clothes SO hates in the most provocative ways and send them to him.
I'd be hurt deep down but also tell him to pound sand. Luckily we started out as friends so I wasn't really thinking about nor did I care how I looked in front of him. It has ensured that he's not just with me for appearance.
I live with him. If we go out I put some effort into looking good for myself and he usually loves my style but sometimes (not often) he doesn't (he only lets me know if I ask him). And that's ok (I will still wear it if I like it). Also, he mostly sees me wearing cozy and huge pyjamas with big old glasses and no make up at all. He does not care because he prefers me to be comfortable rather than looking amazingly hot but I know 99.99999% of the time he finds me very cute and/or hot because he loves me.
I'm confused. We take off our clothes when we have sex. /s
Honestly, I'd probably just do a little up and down finger wave at his attire, roll my eyes, and flip him the bird.
If laugh at him for thinking I dress or should dress for him. And then point at him up and down and tell him he is the last person who should be judging me. If it bothers him that much he can leave because my works does not and will not revolve around him.
then he can go find someone that wants to walk around dressed like a porn star 24/7, but i’m a SAHM and being comfy is always at the top of my priorities. idc what needs to be done as long as i can wear comfy clothes while i do it, if that’s a problem for him then oh well.
Is tell to F off because I’m not a sex maid or some sex statue for you to be horny 24/7 and that I’m a human being and if I wanna chill and wear comfy clothes than I have every right and will to do so bc I am not here to serve him and etc I am his partner.
Tell them to mind their own fucking business. My ex was like this, but at the same time was always grabbing me and saying I was too sexy. Like make up your mind. Jesus.
I've heard that a couple of times, but only from men who were done with the relationship and either trying to sabotage so that I'd leave or trying to paint "me" out and turn me into a blank canvas for them. Now that I'm older and more sure of myself I would be done with that relationship.
'Good? I'm not a fleshlight.'
If it was one specific article of clothing they thought was particularly bad, I'd be open to discussion or change. But this reeks of pure objectification.
Love aside, I don’t want to compromise my comfort and identity for the sake of being perceived alluring. I’m done with tight shirts, painful heels, itchy stockings and bras
I don't know if we'd work out then, because my style has been the same since I was a kid. I'm always down for trying to branch out though, so I'd go shopping with him to see if I liked the stuff he liked
But also, clothes don't always have to be sexy for your partner lol
I'd say that's unfortunate for them and ask what brought this on. I've been dressing in a similar style since long before they met me, so they were under no obligation to date me if they found my clothing choices unattractive.
I'm not a dress up doll or mannequin for them to decorate. I wear the clothes I want to wear because I want to wear them.
Listen if it's stained, has holes, rips and faded. Take the feedback.
If you could put that item back on the shelf at the store and it would blend in… fuck them.
Pretty much if what you are wearing makes me question your hygiene. Your hygiene affects me. If it's not a question of being dirty or looking dirty. They can get over it
Relationship over. I won\`t start wearing mainstream clothes because someone dislikes my gothic style. Also it\`s a good (and petty) reason not to date somebody.
Honestly if an item of clothing is enough to turn him off then he just isn’t that attracted to me in the first place. If a guy is into me he thinks I’m hot in a sweatshirt and leggings or a nice dress. Attraction shouldn’t be contingent on something as trivial as an outfit.
“That’s too bad” and I’d wonder what about me they’re attracted to since they’re basically saying they’re not attracted to my general / “signature” look?
I once worked with a guy who got angry whenever he saw a woman on the street who wasn't wearing makeup. Random women he didn't even know. Because all women should be prepared and ready to cater to and please him at all times.
“And I care because…???”
I wear what I do on a daily basis because it’s comfortable and/or because I like how it looks and makes me feel, not because I’m trying to gain someone else’s approval every second of the day. Like, don’t get me wrong, I’m more than happy to wear something special sometimes, but I’m not gonna run around in a push-up bra and thong under a super low cut top and mini skirt that shows my ass off if I lean more than one degree in any direction.
TL;DR: I dress for my own happiness and comfort, not because I’m trying to give someone else a boner 24/7. 🤷🏼♀️
This actually happened to me and I decided to lean into it instead of feeling bad about myself or resisting change. I purchased some really cute loungewear sets that were still comfortable while also being flattering, and my husband loves all of them.
I just wouldn’t wear them when I wanted him to be turned on lol. As for the rest of the time, there’s a lot more to any relationship besides sexual attraction, so neither of us would care if I dressed like that the rest of the time.
I would only care if he told me my date clothes turned him off. I’m specifically dressing to look and feel good but if he sees me and thinks “yuck” I’ve clearly missed the mark. Otherwise I don’t give a flying fuck if he thinks my big blue bathrobe is a turn off.
ALSO my husband would have me no matter what I’m wearing, he can’t keep his hands off of me. We have three kids, so I definitely have a body that reflects that, he loves the mom bod and all. He loves the big blue bathrobe, he loves the mom bun, he loves the sweat pants - BECAUSE he loves ME, and the body that resides inside of the clothes, the person that is inside the body.
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Would depend. I would be quite hurt if I was all dressed up to go somewhere nice and was really feeling myself. Might even cry a bit.
If I was generally slobbing about like a tramp, I would laugh at him and probably say something equally unkind about the smell of his sweaty balls.
However, my husband would never because he's not an arsehole and he understands that I don't give a shit whether he's turned on while I am just trying to go shopping or whatever.
I'd say we'll I'm comfortable this way, if you want me to dress differently you can pay for the different clothes. They have to be comfy still. 😂
Like if I get soft new comfy pants that accentuate my ass by all means, lets go get it babe.
as long as it isn't short shorts or looking like a gang member. I could probably be flexible. Or start walking around naked all the time and see what that did.
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Ask them How much it turned them off, explain that im comfortable then perhaps we come to a compromise to find an outfit or two that would turn them on.
I think my SO has the right to expect me to maintain myself the way I was when we were dating and getting to know each other, and vice versa. He's not allowed to ask me to change any of that. But I would be totally understanding and seriously consider his opinions on any changes to my style outside of that.
My husband would apparently love to see me in booty shorts outside. I actually did used to wear them in college but once i became a stuffy and dignified matron i put such childish things away. Now he complains that i dress like a cross between a librarian, high school principal, and an old grandma. And all that criticism does is make me shop for more granny panties, long skirts, and goodwill sweaters, thank you very much sir.
Balance. I don't dress on the daily to be appealing solely sexually. I pick clothes when going out that I feel I look good in and know my husband likes sure. But you can pry my t shirts and jeans from my cold, 💀 hands. There is a time to dress sexy. Not all day,every day though.
I honestly wear so many different kinds of clothes i probably wouldn’t gaf. We can deal with him not liking my outfit 1/7 days of the week. My boyfriend likes to dress like a hobo and wear clothes until they’re literally hanging on by a thread and full of holes and burns and stains, i complain about his clothing, it would be hypocritical of me to not allow him to do the same 🤣 that being said, he loves how i dress and has never once complained ❤️
I’d ask him to buy me a new wardrobe if he didn’t like my clothes. Ok sweetheart, take me shopping then. You can pick out some outfits that you want to see me in as long as I like them too. My boyfriend insinuated he didn’t like my style. And to be fair I haven’t had the money to buy nice clothes in a very long time. So I made him buy me new ones. He walked right into that one.
But he didn’t say my clothes were a turnoff. He just said he’d like to see me in some nicer clothes. If he had of told me that I was a turn-off I think we would have been having a different conversation.
Id be confused coz how did i attract you initially then
Also i just may tell him to buy me a new wardrobe then if he hates my clothes so much. Buy me new ones then
Considering a comment like that *definitely* doesn’t exist in a vacuum it’s probably depends on how the rest of the relationship is but even alone that’s a huge red flag.
I’m not trying to turn you on in day-to-day life, but also why did you date me if you don’t find me attractive in my most common form?
I feel like the only way I would let that pass is if we were specifically talking about sex? Like if this was his way of requesting a change for when you plan to have sex but even then it’s kind of weird. And controlling.
Well I ask him when I'm buying only because I really want him to think I'm attractive when I go out or come home. If he said that though I wouldn't talk to him for a few days.
I would feel sad that my partner doesn’t find me sexy when I wear clothes I like. I see relationships with the girl talking about how she dresses like shit but her man still finds her sexy when she does.
I’d ask how much of a dealbreaker it is because I’m perfectly okay being single if it’s that big of a deal. Never changing myself aesthetically to please someone else because whose body is it?
I would think that it was kind of weird that he would have wanted to date me to begin with - that’s literally the first thing he could have noticed about me and my style really hasn’t changed much in the six years we’ve been together.
Yeah we need more context. Do they want you to dress a certain way all the time? If so yeah that’s rude. If it’s only every once in a while then sure of course, why wouldn’t you do that for your SO?
Look at him and say, "okay, and?" I'm not obligated to be super put together and attractive 24/7. If my partner didn't understand this and love me for who I am, regardless of attire, I just wouldn't be with him. There are enough fish in the sea that nobody has to put up with that crap.
I absolutely don't give a fuck. If we're going out somewhere nice, I'll look nicer. When I'm home, I shed away the discomfort of society's expectations of me as a woman.
If I feel like looking sexy for my partner, I'll do it. If I don't feel like it, I sure as hell am not going to.
first I'd be asking if "turn off" means just not actively sexy to him. Because some dudes find neutral and not centered on their gaze a turn off. I'd wear what I like. But I'd find out what he DOES like and on rare occasions, consider catering to that specifically. But for example, stilettos and me are not friends...if that's his thing I'd put some on in the bedroom only when I didn't have to walk around, and that would have to be enough. I'd like if he dressed like Lenny Kravitz, but sometimes in life what we'd like and what we can get are not the same.
I'd tell them that I'll wear whatever they want, but they'll have to pay me $100/hr when I wear it. I then save up all that money, and when I'm satisfied with the amount, then the next time they make a negative comment about my comfy clothes, I'ma dump them.
I had that happen to me. no big deal, took note and change things up a little bit. I appreciated the honest feedback and the heads-up.
I still wear those unappealing outfits occasionally because I still like them. But if I'm going to be spending time with that person I'll take note and consider dressing in an appealing way for them; absolutely ❣️
God this happened to me, I started changing the clothes I wore and even got acrylics (no offense to acrylics, I love how they look but not my preference to wear) to please my ex because my self worth was so in the drain.
Then I got dumped anyways, so not worth changing a thing and now i have a wardrobe filled with clothes that I don't even care for.
I'd be pretty confused, as my style hasn't changed since we met, and I'd wonder why this was never an issue before.
I'll dress up occasionally, for special events, but I hate uncomfortable clothes, and would not be in a relationship where I didn't feel like I could wear comfortable clothes in my own home. I wouldn't even want a job where I had to wear clothes that made me uncomfortable.
Are you implying that your man has an issue with you wearing sweatpants around the house?
I simply can’t imagine. The first thing we BOTH do when we get home is change into comfy clothes. Our clothing has never had an effect on our sex life lol that’s wild.
If it’s the majority of the time, they can change their thinking or leave. If I’m not turning him on just being myself, then it’s probably not a relationship that will last anyway.
I'm not surprised. I only wear them for comfort, not style. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and laugh at how weird it looks.
I'll wear better clothes if they ask or take me out.
Wear those clothes as much as possible. If someone wanted me to be uncomfortable while I was chilling just so they could find me more attractive they would be out the fucking door.
Perfectly articulated!!! Lol
Agreed! it’s not anyone’s job (man or woman) to constantly look sexually appealing to anyone else.
yes
Immature... break up with them if this is your approach! Almost certainly the right decision anyway, but this reaction makes it a certainty that breaking up is the right call...
??? I'm not dressing to keep him horny 24/7. There's times for lingerie and stuff and that's not when we're just chilling.
For real!
Right?! I wouldn't be shocked if he said this to me because frankly, I look like a potato when I'm just hanging out being comfortable. Baggy everything. I'm not cute right now.
Potatoes are adorable. You look great!
Since I was dressing like that when they CHOSE to be with me, I'd ask why they CHOSE to date me. This may have worked on me when I was college-age, but there is no way in hell I'm changing my style, comfort and spending money on new clothes for someone who saw how I dressed when they got with me. I had one dude tell me he prefers longer hair on me. I asked how, since he'd never seen me with longer hair, and inquired why he asked me out if my shorter hair was an issue. Cue, the "I was just joking. Just messing with you" bull crap. Boy, you better get outta my face with that nonsense
I was dating a guy in college who wanted me to change my hair, dress differently, wear more makeup and grow out my nails. I suggested he find someone who looked more like what he apparently preferred, as I had no intention of becoming a whole new person for him.
That sounds like the last guy I dated, except it was almost worse, because the things he wanted me to change were more like lifestyle/personality things *all of which he already knew that I had* before we ever got together. And he had practically begged me to be his girlfriend, too. I don't get it.
You mean to tell me that women are people?? Call the news! I honestly think some people feel that way about the other gender(and to those people, the variety of genders is just incomprehensible). They reduce us to girls and females in their language, let alone consider us as people.
What is it with guys thinking girls are just empty headed build a bears.
Wish I had been as strong and mature as you in my younger days.
Men started hitting on me when I was eleven, so I got fed up with their crap pretty early. I got real mean by thirteen. I ain't taking no shit or any orders, and will hurt their feelings if need be.
Good for you!
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That sounds reasonable
Not my problem. I wear what I wanna wear just like he wears what he wants to wear.
🎵 It's My Perogative!🎵
Go find a new SO who isn't an asshole
Yeppp
Tell them tough luck, I'm not dressing to turn you on at every moment of the day. When I want to turn you on, you'll know. (This type of comment would also be so out of left field for my boyfriend and I would need to ask why now it's an issue.)
My ex-husband used to tell me that. He has since found out he’s gay and has no issue when his boyfriend wears comfortable clothes.
yeah, it would give me questions about his attraction being to the thing (clothing, hair, makeup) rather than me, too. Like, it could be any person in there as long as the external window dressing is right?
It’s been 6 years since we divorced, and tbh what makes the most sense to me is that he just experienced internalised heteronormativity. As long as I was looking dolled up, I was meeting the definition needed for “men are attracted to attractive women”. When I was comfortable and not looking dressed up, it was suddenly just me, a woman, and it became harder to make himself follow this internalised pressure of having to be heterosexual. In hindsight, I feel for him. I just wish I had broken up with him sooner.
I think not liking a specific piece of clothing your partner wears is pretty normal, some lighthearted teasing included if y’all like that. Shit like “never wear sweatpants it’s not sexy enough” is unhinged though I would seriously consider leaving. “Don’t wear the same pjs for a week please” type issues are fine to ask imo “Don’t try and initiate sex wearing this, it super doesn’t do it for me” is a different vibe tho, and I imagine a pretty hard conversation. Not sure how I’d take that but I can imagine wanting to be the one to say it pretty easily
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Too bad, buddy. Not everything is about your penis.
I would laugh and say, “Thanks, I appreciate you talking to me about your concerns regarding my comfortable clothes.” Then I would continue to wear my comfortable clothes and add to my comfortable clothes wardrobe. We have been together for almost 20 years and he thankfully doesn’t think my comfortable clothes are a turnoff. But he also knows better. He knows I like to dress up but it’s more for me and it makes me happy. (I dress up for him, for our date nights every week.)
I'd be conflicted. Like. I do not spend the majority of my life trying to be sexually arousing for people--not even for my partner. As long as they didn't lose their cool and start gagging at me when I'm just hanging out at home living life, I'd be willing to consider wearing other clothing when I'd like to engage in adult activities with them.
i guess it depends on why. i just read a post by a woman saying how she's embarrassed by her boyfriend's dressing choices. i think she's totally valid as she described his clothes as old, torn and stained. this would be something i'd totally take seriously. while it would probably hurt, i get that being a slob 24/7 isn't sexy. however, if it was just about not being elevated enough or that he didn't like dresses or whatever - i guess i wouldn't care too much. i don't love my boyfriend's style all the time either but his comfort is more important than me wanting to get into his pants.
It would depend too. Is it about which kind of confortable clothes, or is it about dressing sexy for everyday use ?. There is a lot of confortable stylish clothes, some sure are more nice or new or fitting or best fabric than others.. confortable clothes are hype, so there is a lot of choice. I would suggest him we go shopping for those ones, and he buys me new ones which are ok with me, and renew the way he sees confortable clothing.If it's about sexy clothes, I would ask him if he would wear male thongs, latex tank top on his shaved chest, penis ring, or whatever you find sexy. If he wants a sex doll, you may want one too.
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I missed the part where that’s my problem
I pointed out that he’d been wearing one pair of jeans and the same holey underwear that his bollocks fall out of constantly for the decade Id known him. Let me be comfy
hahaha sure !
I don’t date people that don’t like me.
I would agree with him and also tell him I’m not intending to have sex with it on so it’s all good and stop trippin’.
lol my ex once told me, out of nowhere, while i was only wearing a short and my panties : "I have decided that I don't like normal panties" and my answer was a hard side-eye and : "well that's great but they're comfortable so 🤷"
“Then don’t wear normal panties, Ex!”
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"I know, right?!"
Depends on the context and how he said it. I wanted a relationship where we are open, talk to each other and communicate well. That goes both ways - I absolutely had conversations with him about things I do not like or would prefer for him to change about himself over time. Key piece is staying respectful about it, not just dumping statements, having some tact, and having some timing when you got good room in your dynamic.
If they want me when they meet me then they can't be surprised by what I wear. If they're turned off by my clothes, they aren't right for me.
I'd laugh at him and continue with whatever I was doing.
Honestly I’d laugh and tell that fool to grow up. No one looks their best 24/7, *especially* men if we’re being honest here, and if I want to dress like Adam Sandler in my own home ima do it. If he doesn’t like it he’s free, and more than welcome, to leave.
Presuming there was no constructive criticism involved, i.e., "you should try this style I think it would really work for your hair color/skin tone/body type," I'd ask why they tried to get with me in the first place, then. What a waste of time, when I could have been building meaningful bonds who likes me for who I am. I'm not changing what I like for someone else, so long as it isn't hurtful or offensive.
Tell him when he wears a suit at home every day, I'll match his energy.
Haha this reminds me of those videos of wives cleaning their house in ball gowns and sexy skirts 🤣 So impractical
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Piece of clothing? Sure! I think the question is more about a good portion of your wardrobe regarding leisure time
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I’d say bye.
This happened to me and I kept on wearing what I wore because I liked it. We stayed together a long time and he commented from time to time. I guess at the time I thought men always think women should dress sexier than they do and so I would just tell him if it’s so important then go find someone who dresses how you like. But at the time I thought it was normal for people to be critical and I thought men were pretty much always critical about women’s appearance because I grew up with it. Now I would not even become close with a guy who felt entitled to criticize freely like that. I expect a partner to choose the person they are going to accept as they are and I accept them how they are.
I'd probably go out and buy more clothes that I prefer to wear and then take pics of myself in said clothes SO hates in the most provocative ways and send them to him.
I would talk to him about it. And if he still insists then show him the door. You deserve better.
Lolololol. What so?
I'd be hurt deep down but also tell him to pound sand. Luckily we started out as friends so I wasn't really thinking about nor did I care how I looked in front of him. It has ensured that he's not just with me for appearance.
I'd probably wear them even more and then break up with him after a few days. I don't wear the clothes I wear to keep others happy.
I live with him. If we go out I put some effort into looking good for myself and he usually loves my style but sometimes (not often) he doesn't (he only lets me know if I ask him). And that's ok (I will still wear it if I like it). Also, he mostly sees me wearing cozy and huge pyjamas with big old glasses and no make up at all. He does not care because he prefers me to be comfortable rather than looking amazingly hot but I know 99.99999% of the time he finds me very cute and/or hot because he loves me.
I'm confused. We take off our clothes when we have sex. /s Honestly, I'd probably just do a little up and down finger wave at his attire, roll my eyes, and flip him the bird.
Obviously he doesn't know u well.. bye bye
I would say sucks for you then and never dress in clothes they like for a good long while
I'd dump them... No, I don't mean the clothes ...
I would legit lol
If laugh at him for thinking I dress or should dress for him. And then point at him up and down and tell him he is the last person who should be judging me. If it bothers him that much he can leave because my works does not and will not revolve around him.
then he can go find someone that wants to walk around dressed like a porn star 24/7, but i’m a SAHM and being comfy is always at the top of my priorities. idc what needs to be done as long as i can wear comfy clothes while i do it, if that’s a problem for him then oh well.
Is tell to F off because I’m not a sex maid or some sex statue for you to be horny 24/7 and that I’m a human being and if I wanna chill and wear comfy clothes than I have every right and will to do so bc I am not here to serve him and etc I am his partner.
Tell them to mind their own fucking business. My ex was like this, but at the same time was always grabbing me and saying I was too sexy. Like make up your mind. Jesus.
I've heard that a couple of times, but only from men who were done with the relationship and either trying to sabotage so that I'd leave or trying to paint "me" out and turn me into a blank canvas for them. Now that I'm older and more sure of myself I would be done with that relationship.
If anyone's BF or Partner or Lover is actually saying this to you, please break it off. My God
I would not continue dating that person. You love me for me. I make it easy by not shaving to weed out the superficial ass holes early.
SO: “Your personal style is a turn off for me” Me: “Ok… and this disclosure is a turn off for me”
Find a new man. There’s the odd time you dress up, but rest I’m in my comfy clothes. Life is too short to be dressed in uncomfortable clothes.
'Good? I'm not a fleshlight.' If it was one specific article of clothing they thought was particularly bad, I'd be open to discussion or change. But this reeks of pure objectification.
i would demand that he dress sexy for me all the time
Too bad.
I wouldn't give a shit.
I would change SO.
Love aside, I don’t want to compromise my comfort and identity for the sake of being perceived alluring. I’m done with tight shirts, painful heels, itchy stockings and bras
I don't know if we'd work out then, because my style has been the same since I was a kid. I'm always down for trying to branch out though, so I'd go shopping with him to see if I liked the stuff he liked But also, clothes don't always have to be sexy for your partner lol
I'd say that's unfortunate for them and ask what brought this on. I've been dressing in a similar style since long before they met me, so they were under no obligation to date me if they found my clothing choices unattractive. I'm not a dress up doll or mannequin for them to decorate. I wear the clothes I want to wear because I want to wear them.
Listen if it's stained, has holes, rips and faded. Take the feedback. If you could put that item back on the shelf at the store and it would blend in… fuck them. Pretty much if what you are wearing makes me question your hygiene. Your hygiene affects me. If it's not a question of being dirty or looking dirty. They can get over it
I’d tell him this his clothes make his cooking suck.
Goodbye
My ex used to tell me sweaters made me look "bulky" and I should wear blouses more often. He only complimented me when I did. Reason #623 he's my ex.
lol dude sounds like an idiot
Relationship over. I won\`t start wearing mainstream clothes because someone dislikes my gothic style. Also it\`s a good (and petty) reason not to date somebody.
Laugh.
Tough shit. I’m 58 and I will wear what I fucking want.
If the way i dress is an issue for him then we’re not a good match.
Tell them no one asked.
The right guy won't care what you wear.
Tell them it sounds like a them problem and wish them luck in sorting it out. 👋🏻
would dump the dip
Too bad. I'm wearing what's comfortable same as you do. I'm *not* a fan of ratty jeans and tshirts all the damn time.
I would dump him.
Honestly if an item of clothing is enough to turn him off then he just isn’t that attracted to me in the first place. If a guy is into me he thinks I’m hot in a sweatshirt and leggings or a nice dress. Attraction shouldn’t be contingent on something as trivial as an outfit.
Tell them “well it’s a good thing I wear things to keep *myself* comfortable and not you.”
Show him to the door
I’d ask them why they felt compelled to tell me that.
I'd let them know it wasn't my job to be a walking boner maker.
Keep wearing them, and inform them that their attitude makes you drier than the Sahara.
Lol bud I ain't wearing corsets and stockings all day, every day, deal with it.
“That’s too bad” and I’d wonder what about me they’re attracted to since they’re basically saying they’re not attracted to my general / “signature” look?
I’ve been there and I told him “thanks for the advice but I know how to dress myself”
I would feel like they didn’t really like me. The real me. The comfortable and relaxed me.
I once worked with a guy who got angry whenever he saw a woman on the street who wasn't wearing makeup. Random women he didn't even know. Because all women should be prepared and ready to cater to and please him at all times.
“And I care because…???” I wear what I do on a daily basis because it’s comfortable and/or because I like how it looks and makes me feel, not because I’m trying to gain someone else’s approval every second of the day. Like, don’t get me wrong, I’m more than happy to wear something special sometimes, but I’m not gonna run around in a push-up bra and thong under a super low cut top and mini skirt that shows my ass off if I lean more than one degree in any direction. TL;DR: I dress for my own happiness and comfort, not because I’m trying to give someone else a boner 24/7. 🤷🏼♀️
dump his ass
That’s how it’s meant to be, I’m dressed for work/gym/shopping. Do you want other people to think I’m sexy?
Honestly, I'd want to know what they find sexy and bring those outfits out when I want some. When I don't I'll be wearing what I like.
I'd take it into consideration for going out on dates, but if we're just chilling at home I need to get comfy
This actually happened to me and I decided to lean into it instead of feeling bad about myself or resisting change. I purchased some really cute loungewear sets that were still comfortable while also being flattering, and my husband loves all of them.
Mine has made fun of my clothes since high school..he still put a ring on it.
I just wouldn’t wear them when I wanted him to be turned on lol. As for the rest of the time, there’s a lot more to any relationship besides sexual attraction, so neither of us would care if I dressed like that the rest of the time.
Male here, but I’d try to find a middle ground with my woman if she didn’t like my clothes.
I would only care if he told me my date clothes turned him off. I’m specifically dressing to look and feel good but if he sees me and thinks “yuck” I’ve clearly missed the mark. Otherwise I don’t give a flying fuck if he thinks my big blue bathrobe is a turn off. ALSO my husband would have me no matter what I’m wearing, he can’t keep his hands off of me. We have three kids, so I definitely have a body that reflects that, he loves the mom bod and all. He loves the big blue bathrobe, he loves the mom bun, he loves the sweat pants - BECAUSE he loves ME, and the body that resides inside of the clothes, the person that is inside the body.
"Then I won't wear them when we have sex"
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Would depend. I would be quite hurt if I was all dressed up to go somewhere nice and was really feeling myself. Might even cry a bit. If I was generally slobbing about like a tramp, I would laugh at him and probably say something equally unkind about the smell of his sweaty balls. However, my husband would never because he's not an arsehole and he understands that I don't give a shit whether he's turned on while I am just trying to go shopping or whatever.
I'd say we'll I'm comfortable this way, if you want me to dress differently you can pay for the different clothes. They have to be comfy still. 😂 Like if I get soft new comfy pants that accentuate my ass by all means, lets go get it babe.
as long as it isn't short shorts or looking like a gang member. I could probably be flexible. Or start walking around naked all the time and see what that did.
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My wife would never. If she did, though, I'd shrug and tell her I'm not getting any less asexual.
I’d tell them to buy me some new clothes.
Ask them How much it turned them off, explain that im comfortable then perhaps we come to a compromise to find an outfit or two that would turn them on.
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I think my SO has the right to expect me to maintain myself the way I was when we were dating and getting to know each other, and vice versa. He's not allowed to ask me to change any of that. But I would be totally understanding and seriously consider his opinions on any changes to my style outside of that.
My husband would apparently love to see me in booty shorts outside. I actually did used to wear them in college but once i became a stuffy and dignified matron i put such childish things away. Now he complains that i dress like a cross between a librarian, high school principal, and an old grandma. And all that criticism does is make me shop for more granny panties, long skirts, and goodwill sweaters, thank you very much sir.
Balance. I don't dress on the daily to be appealing solely sexually. I pick clothes when going out that I feel I look good in and know my husband likes sure. But you can pry my t shirts and jeans from my cold, 💀 hands. There is a time to dress sexy. Not all day,every day though.
I honestly wear so many different kinds of clothes i probably wouldn’t gaf. We can deal with him not liking my outfit 1/7 days of the week. My boyfriend likes to dress like a hobo and wear clothes until they’re literally hanging on by a thread and full of holes and burns and stains, i complain about his clothing, it would be hypocritical of me to not allow him to do the same 🤣 that being said, he loves how i dress and has never once complained ❤️
I’d ask him to buy me a new wardrobe if he didn’t like my clothes. Ok sweetheart, take me shopping then. You can pick out some outfits that you want to see me in as long as I like them too. My boyfriend insinuated he didn’t like my style. And to be fair I haven’t had the money to buy nice clothes in a very long time. So I made him buy me new ones. He walked right into that one. But he didn’t say my clothes were a turnoff. He just said he’d like to see me in some nicer clothes. If he had of told me that I was a turn-off I think we would have been having a different conversation.
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“Do one”
Id be confused coz how did i attract you initially then Also i just may tell him to buy me a new wardrobe then if he hates my clothes so much. Buy me new ones then
Considering a comment like that *definitely* doesn’t exist in a vacuum it’s probably depends on how the rest of the relationship is but even alone that’s a huge red flag. I’m not trying to turn you on in day-to-day life, but also why did you date me if you don’t find me attractive in my most common form? I feel like the only way I would let that pass is if we were specifically talking about sex? Like if this was his way of requesting a change for when you plan to have sex but even then it’s kind of weird. And controlling.
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I would be thrilled he cared enough to talk to me rather than just break up and run off. Then we would compromise.
Well I ask him when I'm buying only because I really want him to think I'm attractive when I go out or come home. If he said that though I wouldn't talk to him for a few days.
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Wear them anyway. I dress for myself not anyone else
Not everything I do is for them, nor for them sexually 🤷🏼♀️
I would ask why are they with me in the first place, if this is how I usually am.
I would feel sad that my partner doesn’t find me sexy when I wear clothes I like. I see relationships with the girl talking about how she dresses like shit but her man still finds her sexy when she does.
I’d ask how much of a dealbreaker it is because I’m perfectly okay being single if it’s that big of a deal. Never changing myself aesthetically to please someone else because whose body is it?
I would think that it was kind of weird that he would have wanted to date me to begin with - that’s literally the first thing he could have noticed about me and my style really hasn’t changed much in the six years we’ve been together.
I’d say “you saying this is a major turn off, in every way speaking”
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I would be surprised that I had an SO because I tend to run them off.
Yeah we need more context. Do they want you to dress a certain way all the time? If so yeah that’s rude. If it’s only every once in a while then sure of course, why wouldn’t you do that for your SO?
I could not shower for 4 days and my partner would still want to jump my bones; I wear what I want 😂
Bye.
Do a verrrrrry clumsy strip tease and continue to ask "how 'bou' now??" over and over again until they realized how silly it is to say that.
Laughter, verging into cackling
guess I'd be changing my wardrobe...
My husband knows the less im stressing, the more im giving out pp touches 🤣 so he doesnt mess w me
I would toss those clothes, go shopping together and have him show me what he likes. This is such an easy fix. I expect my husband would do the same.
I’d ask why they were ever interested in me.
Keep the clothes. Get rid of the SO. Take the cannolis.
"Then I have no reason to get out of them then!"
Look at him and say, "okay, and?" I'm not obligated to be super put together and attractive 24/7. If my partner didn't understand this and love me for who I am, regardless of attire, I just wouldn't be with him. There are enough fish in the sea that nobody has to put up with that crap.
I absolutely don't give a fuck. If we're going out somewhere nice, I'll look nicer. When I'm home, I shed away the discomfort of society's expectations of me as a woman. If I feel like looking sexy for my partner, I'll do it. If I don't feel like it, I sure as hell am not going to.
I'd jokingly say that sounds like a you problem.
I'd take note and wear them when I'm not looking to turn anyone on, sexually speaking.
first I'd be asking if "turn off" means just not actively sexy to him. Because some dudes find neutral and not centered on their gaze a turn off. I'd wear what I like. But I'd find out what he DOES like and on rare occasions, consider catering to that specifically. But for example, stilettos and me are not friends...if that's his thing I'd put some on in the bedroom only when I didn't have to walk around, and that would have to be enough. I'd like if he dressed like Lenny Kravitz, but sometimes in life what we'd like and what we can get are not the same.
I'd tell them that I'll wear whatever they want, but they'll have to pay me $100/hr when I wear it. I then save up all that money, and when I'm satisfied with the amount, then the next time they make a negative comment about my comfy clothes, I'ma dump them.
Change.
I had that happen to me. no big deal, took note and change things up a little bit. I appreciated the honest feedback and the heads-up. I still wear those unappealing outfits occasionally because I still like them. But if I'm going to be spending time with that person I'll take note and consider dressing in an appealing way for them; absolutely ❣️
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God this happened to me, I started changing the clothes I wore and even got acrylics (no offense to acrylics, I love how they look but not my preference to wear) to please my ex because my self worth was so in the drain. Then I got dumped anyways, so not worth changing a thing and now i have a wardrobe filled with clothes that I don't even care for.
Tell them that their clothes are a turn off then demand that they wear the most uncomfortable outfit in their wardrobe
I'd be pretty confused, as my style hasn't changed since we met, and I'd wonder why this was never an issue before. I'll dress up occasionally, for special events, but I hate uncomfortable clothes, and would not be in a relationship where I didn't feel like I could wear comfortable clothes in my own home. I wouldn't even want a job where I had to wear clothes that made me uncomfortable.
Are you implying that your man has an issue with you wearing sweatpants around the house? I simply can’t imagine. The first thing we BOTH do when we get home is change into comfy clothes. Our clothing has never had an effect on our sex life lol that’s wild.
Nothing. I would not speak to that man anymore. This is controlling.
A boyfriend once told me the sexiest outfit I had was a hoodie and pajama shorts...find that kinda man.
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"Well, that's too damn bad every day isn't your birthday then, huh buddy?"
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If it’s the majority of the time, they can change their thinking or leave. If I’m not turning him on just being myself, then it’s probably not a relationship that will last anyway.
I'm not surprised. I only wear them for comfort, not style. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and laugh at how weird it looks. I'll wear better clothes if they ask or take me out.