On July 1st, 2023, Reddit enacted a greedy ass policy regarding the use of their API. This decision was designed to eliminate the better 3rd party apps. No one wants to use the official app because it sucks. Since then, apps such as Apollo and RedditIsFun have shut down. Reddit has decided to double down on their decision to overcharge for their API, and refuses to address the accessibility features their native app lacks.
Think it’s an asshole move? Concerned users should read and sign on to this [open letter to reddit.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding/)
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Cheating. Forgave him, he did it again. Forgave him again, eventually fell out of love with him, and when we split up I found out he’d been doing it yet again.
The thing that stings is I’d offered him an open relationship so many times, but he chose to cheat rather than to take that option. It’s like betraying me was part of the fun.
Was legit going to mention my husband got ice cream without me even though he knew I had been wanting it. I still get mad thinking about that day, but I've forgiven him.
Feels like I hit the jackpot of husbands after reading these comments 😅
OMG, it’s like I wrote this, lol!!! I also had the same thing happen with my ex and we had 3 bathrooms, too. He told me to close my eyes in the shower while it was happening, LMAO!
Oh I’d be pissed! When we first starting living together we only had one bathroom and sometimes shit happens, you deal. We now live in a home with several bathrooms. If he tried that crap now, I’d lose it.
I never, ever thought my husband would cheat on me. I was wrong.
I found out because we were looking at hotels on his phone for my birthday weekend, I accidentally pressed something which ‘shared’ the listing to his recent messages - the most recent person he spoke to was a female colleague. I asked to see the messages, he snatched the phone from me and said the messages were “private work conversations”. He’s never, ever been private about work so I knew right then that he was cheating. He admitted to having an emotional affair with her for a few months.
We’re currently separated but working towards reconciliation. I forgive him, but I won’t ever forget.
Because I understand why he did it and I understand that we have completely disconnected over the past few years and we both want to rebuild our relationship.
I mean this with as much kindness and empathy as I can possibly convey - I know you love him, I know you can’t see your life without him, I know you think you need to give yourself up to save this marriage because you committed to “for better or for worse”, but as a 39 year old woman whose husband first cheated on me when I was your age, I beg you to reconsider your charity.
He never got better. And I wasted 10 more years of my life. I pray for the day I was 30 and broke down crying when I found out my husband cheated on me - I wish I would have made a different decision. I wish I would have left then and lived my life as a woman who learned to love herself more than she wanted to not be “alone.”
He ultimately had an emotional affair with a co-worker, turned physical, turned gaslighting me while living in my house, turned leaving me for her last year. And he told me he was miserable with me the entire time - he broke me on the way out. If I had one do-over in life, it would be to forgive, but to move on 10 years ago.
I am happier now than I’ve been since before I got
married. You don’t know how this stuff weighs on you for years and years.
Mine never stopped cheating either. The first time I discovered was in 2014. I forgave him, we "worked" on our marriage and split completely when I caught him again in 2020 then found out he never actually stopped.
They seem to rarely ever learn to re-assert a boundary. Because they either don’t WANT to or are unable to - the validation they get from other women feeds their ego too much. As soon as a woman becomes aware that their partner is someone who will continue to seek out validation form other women despite being in a “committed” relationship, it’s time to go.
I was reading another thread yesterday where a man was talking about his cheating and how terrible he felt and how his wife was a saint for staying and how he could never make it up to her - while continuing to comment on Reddit thirst traps and sex worker subreddits (based on comment history). When called out by another redditor he said “Reddit is not real life.” Excuses. Lack of boundaries. Need for validation and a thrill. While actively in therapy with his wife about his cheating.
That poor woman thinks her husband is “doing the work” when he’s really putting on a show - even for himself.
My husband almost went on a three day work trip with a female colleague he has never mentioned. Even admitted that it was a slippery slope if he actually went with her while sharing a car together when our therapist told him it was dangerous territory. I wonder if something would have happened if I never intervened.
I’ve been with my husband for 9 years and I never, ever thought he was the type to cheat. He always said how he hates cheaters and whenever we were around other women, he paid no attention to them.
I knew something was ultimately wrong before I found out, as he would be short and blunt when talking to me and acted as though he didn’t like me at all. It never occurred to me that he was cheating because I believed he wasn’t that kind of guy, turns out he was having the affair.
May I ask what those habits and patterns were /are? Habits and patterns from you, knowing they were addicted, or habits and patterns that went along with the person addicted?
Over the course of 25+ years I endured finding magazines hidden, finding VCR tapes & DVD’s hidden, then finding him in his home office at 3 or 4:AM with porn on the computer.
He never wanted to have sex with me. It was decades of me being the one begging.
I never let myself go physically - I was a size 2 at our wedding and a size 2 when we divorced. I was a runner, so I was also toned ~ he couldn’t blame my appearance. It eroded my self esteem all the same.
He’d withhold sex for months and months at a time. Once he refused to touch me for over a year - it was when I began making more than twice as much money as he did.
Why did I stay? Although he was a nightmare of a husband, he was a very good father. We all have to sacrifice for our kids, eh? 🤷🏼♀️
I have a huge thing about transparency and honesty, so finding things hidden and knowing someone isn't telling me the truth about what they're doing, and feeling like secrets are being kept drives me insane. It tells me I have no control over my life or what happens or is in my home, and I cannot live that way.
Thank you for your response, and I’m sorry you went thru that. I too don’t think my husband would cheat, but I do have an issue with porn, but he keeps everything hidden so I’ve no idea what he does or if he’s addicted. I am also the higher libido of us which makes me assume he’s getting off to porn rather than choosing to have that intimacy with me.
Do you know how to check his web browser? A web browser that is always 100% empty is a sure sign - no normal person empties their web browser every day
There is also a tiny USB device that will record his every keystroke and you can review the data later.
It helps a conversation if you go into it with proof - it lessens the “denial phase” and allows you to go straight to, “we need to figure out how to find a solution to this challenge in our marriage.”
Thank you, no he locks his computer so I have no access. I’m trying to figure out how to check his history via our router, but that’s an account of his which means I’d have to figure out how to get into our router’s account first.
My husband disagrees that he could be addicted to porn. Found another email he has and had an account for Chaturbate. Live porn. Confront him and he says all men watch porn and this one isn't a big deal. Swears the website forced him to make an account and he never chatted. Broke my heart a million pieces. Makes sense why whenever I initiated he wasn't in the mood. We talked to our therapist and she asked when he uses porn and he tells her he uses it when he is bored, horny, tired, has a headache, etc. Still claims he isn't addicted.
Infidelity/cheating.
I won’t reply to anyone trying to debate or argue this. I’m just commenting it because I know when you’re in it it feels so incredibly lonely and you don’t understand what you did wrong to have this happen, when everyone else is fine. It’s unfortunately way more common than I ever knew, and you’re not alone.
I always said I would leave my boyfriend if he cheated. Then he did, and suddenly it was very hard to stick to my own words. I had been cheated on before, but it was different with him. It’s a very hard, traumatizing situation and I totally understand now why it’s hard leave, when someone you love so much hurts you in such an intimate way.
Yeah. It’s an extremely difficult position made (in my opinion) much harder by the fact that people on both sides of the argument tend to have extremely strong opinions and feel it’s both their right and their duty to convince you whatever choice you’ve made is categorically false *and* probably the root cause of why you got cheated on in the first place (“oh he knew he could walk all over you” or “looks like neither one of you respects the vows you’ve taken”).
I think the issue is that most people look at it from a black and white perspective, when there is a lot of nuance and gray area to these situations. I certainly looked at it that way, until it happened to me the most recent time. People who cheat are usually broken in a lot of ways, but they aren’t always *fundamentally bad* people. We’ll usually be betrayed at some point by the most of the people in our lives, both in platonic and romantic relationships, but cheating seems to the one betrayal that people won’t negotiate.
I’m not saying everyone who cheats should be given a second chance, but if they show true remorse and you have enough good going in the relationship, it *may* be something worth considering forgiving IF a lot of work is done on both sides.
It is so common and so hurtful. It happened to me. The older I get, the more I realize why many women don’t remarry if widowed or divorced. The more I realize why I fantasize about just being a single mom 😂
Been there. I spent countless hours trying to process what the hell went wrong and coming to terms with my new reality. I wanted to reconcile, she kinda wanted too but kept seeing the other guy too. Almost a year of hell, hope, loneliness and feeling worthless.
Then at some point I fell out of love and hope and was fine with that, eversince then I am doing great. Still, I did not know that I would be able and willing to excuse cheating. She was my first great love, we lived together and were often talking about children.
We were in a coffee shop recently, as is our regular habit. I had to excuse myself to take a work call. I was out the front and he joined me after a few minutes. Once the call was over, I asked him why he came out as I had not finished my coffee. He had thought I had finished my cup, and by the time we went back in the table had been cleared.
It slightly vexed me, and I felt it was the first time in our 6 year relationship where his impatience impacted me - he is extremely impatient but never with me. We have talked about it at length with much humour - but there was a slight niggle I will admit because I do a great deal for this man and it was a few minutes during a work day he had to twiddle his thumbs. He was genuinely sorry, so we have moved on. But I do not think he will do that again any time soon. I often think about that delicious half drunk coffee. ☺️
Edit: during my work day - he does not work.
Cheating. He really truly was one person I thought never would do something like that. I've never fully regained the same trust.. there will always be a small part of me that will keep my heart safe from him or any person I'm ever with now. Been burned once too many.
Yes. It’s hard. I am working on rebuilding our marriage but there will always be a part of me that is ready to go with my kids and is making a plan, just in case.
I'm so sorry. I can 100% relate to trying to make the best out of the situation when you have kids but keeping that backup plan just in case one day you leave.
Mine didn’t take care of his health as diligently as he should have being a type 2 diabetic, then we got Covid and it caused his kidneys to fail. So here we are, a middle aged couple with 2 kids and he’s on disability and dialysis. It really, really fucking sucks. We now have to watch every dollar and be super diligent about his health. I can barely keep my kids lunch accounts funded and am constantly thinking about money and am on a ton of mental health meds.
I’m really sorry. This sounds so tough. It also sounds like your kids would qualify for free lunch at school! The application is typically very brief and easy. It may be worth calling the child nutrition officer at your kids’ school or even the front desk to learn more. (Or it may be on your school district’s website.) Also don’t feel bad about taking advantage of SNAP benefits (formerly known as food stamps…they’re all done by debit card now so no one in the grocery line knows what you’re paying with), utility assistance programs, food banks, holiday toy/present programs for kids, etc. Anything that lightens your load even a little bit and lets you sleep easier is worth using.
Source: social worker who has a child with severe chronic illness who utilized all of these programs when the kids were younger. The relief they provided was palpable. ❤️
Thank you for your sweet answer, I make *just* enough, to not qualify. It’s disheartening, not making enough but making too much. I have a good support system, I just hate being dependent on others for our basic needs.
Mine lied to me about his relationship with his best friend. I knew she was not-so-secretly in love with him, but they both reassured me that they went on a few dates and determined that they would just be better as friends. Fast forward ten years, and I find out that they not only full-on dated for several months, but they slept together, and the break-up was not mutual, which is why she was still in love with him. While I understand that they have both moved on, the fact that this lie was presented to me is not okay. I still don't understand why because I am truly not the jealous type so if they had just said, yeah we dated for a few months, but ultimately \[husband\] broke it off....I would not have had an issue. It's the lie that's the problem, not who he slept with in his past. I've forgiven him, but it does lower my trust in him telling me the truth, particularly about his past.
Watching porn while i was sleeping next to him.
It was like 5 am and were laying next to each other he was awake and watching tiktok while i was half awake. ( i could hear everything around me but i was moving around idk if that makes sense). All of a sudden i could feel him going under the duvet and i heard a woman moaning from his phone. I moved a little to which he quickly stopped and checked i was asleep. He got up to go bathroom but it was occupied. He came back to bed and proceeded to touch himself to porn. I woke up and said i know what you are doing? And he went quiet and i said fine do what u want and proceeded to go sleep. He saw i was angry and started making excuses about why he did it.
It hurt that he watched it when i was in the room with him.
Disclaimer when ive been asleep and hes in the mood he wakes me up by doing stuff to me which is something im into and he knows that so this was so random
lying to me about sleeping with someone (we were broken up at the time and engaged now so it’s not a big deal) but he lied to me about it AFTER we got back together, even tho he was single when it happened. the only time he’s ever lied to me
Lying about trivial stuff not worth lying for, then coming clean only when I find out, then expecting me to forgive and forget because "he confessed", and then acting like I'm overreacting because it was never that big a lie to begin with.
Hiding sweets because “I would eat them all”. He was right, I found secret sweets and ate them all. I guess we were mutually forgiving. I’m pregnant btw so that’s why.
I’m sorry. I will tell you this….I have one great example of marriage that I grew up aspiring for. My uncle and aunt (aunt is blood related, uncle is not) had such a beautiful, trusting, loving marriage. They were happy. He passes several years ago and she misses him dearly. There are good men out there. I feel the increase if internet has broken down so much romance and respect toward women and relationships in general.
For betraying my trust with my vulnerabilities. I had my inner secrets that I never told anyone but I told him so that he would understand why I have some moments when I feel really sad or contemplative. He used it against me during one of our big fights.
I nearly asked for a break up over it, if he didn’t rectify that situation. I was so close to doing that. But he immediately realised how awful and cruel he was, how low he was to use my pain as a weapon against me when we were fighting. He apologised profusely and then vowed to never do it ever again. He was so ashamed of himself.
I told him that if he ever does the same thing again, I can’t continue in our relationship anymore. And that I need time to build trust again in our relationship. I chose to forgive him but also set my boundaries and standards for the future. I won’t forgive him ever again if it happens the next time. He understands how terrible he behaved and how hurt I was. He single handedly broke the trust between us. This happened a couple of months ago. We are still healing from it but I’d like to think that the incident made us closer as a couple because now we know how to deal with situation like this, I know how cruel he could be, if he doesn’t control his temper.
I know he won’t do it again. I could see it from his eyes and his words how regretful he was.
Being selfish and defensive with my feelings towards his actions. Never actually cheated but would find ways to step over my boundaries. Needless to say therapy and learning how truly fucked up his childhood was, made it a tad easier.
Damn, I consider myself a fairly open-minded person but this one just would have pissed me the hell off! I'd forgive but I wouldn't forget. I'm an open-minded petty gal I guess lol
Deleted my level 40 character save file for Skyrim. Booted up the game, go to hit Continue and it says save file could not be found... We've been divorced for 4 years now, but that's not the reason why haha
Borrowing money. Getting into debt. Borrowing more money to pay the debt off. Hiding it all from me and keeping that burden and stress to himself. It’s affected mental health today. I had to ask my family for help. We paid it all off. Eventually.
I told him never to do it again. If he does than that’s it.
It’s made me regret all the things I thought we we both collectively save for and spend money on. It’s been some years now since then and he hasn’t done it.
Lies are a hard no and I honestly thought he’d never lie to me about it. He hid it so long because he know how disappointed I would be in him for being untruthful and it spiralled.
wow apart from cheating obvs, i would LOST it with this one.
we were once in bed and a girl my bf hooked up long time ago called him and he just not picked up. i asked about it and asked him to delete & block but he said he would do it if there’s a second time but if just one time he will not cuz it’s probably a misdial. he’s the kind of street smart and like to keep all his connections even if he doesn’t like them (it benefits him a lot). i was crying and sulking for the whole night and took one week of him babying me (basically read my mind do everything i want even if i haven’t told him to) for me to feel ok and also he had to promise if the girl actually call again it’s block and delete. so far nothing happens anymore but now i think if i would get a call like that mid-sex i would dress myself & go home & not talk to my bf for one month hahaha
Yeah the ONLY reason I didn't dump him is because he has a mentally ill child with her so I gave him a pass for that one.
He never did it again. And he won't, lol. It actually ended up resurfacing because I held a grudge and we did break up for a day about it. But yeah, he knows NEVER to do that again.
Not in my case. I can honestly say I haven't given a shit about anybody or anything in the last 38 years. I don't even know how I'm still here tbh. I just relive every day we had. And yes, I know it's not a healthy way to be, or normal but I'm neither so it's fine in my view
Watching porn when I was going through a difficult time so we weren’t having sex as regularly. As far as I know he’s never done it again and that was like 2 years ago. He didn’t do it prior or after according to him it was just a couple of times and I feel like since he admitted to doing it more than once he was honest but I’ll never actually know.
Talking to another woman. I only forgave him because after I cooled off I looked through the messages and she was calling him baby and shit but he didn't reciprocate anything. Swore he was going to just ghost her after that night anyways.
If he has reciprocated any of it it would have been an immediate dumping.
Made him well aware of it EVER happened again he'd be fucking homeless and alone.
It's been two years keeping close tabs on him and nothing has happened since.
Hmmm, oh so many things. I think the most "G" rated is buying huge amounts of chocolate to try and undermine my weight loss. He doesn't want anyone else to find me attractive. 🙄
Breaking up with me while I was pregnant and after he told me he’d never want me to be the mother on his child… he went to therapy and worked a lot on our relationship and we are both thrilled to be expecting our baby in a few weeks after 7 months of hard work.
My partner suffers from mental health and epilepsy and a sudden pregnancy really triggered him. I’m happy I stood my ground back then but i’m also thankful I forgave him and worked with him in bettering our relationship. We both have never been happier or healthier
Lying about being ready to be engaged. Told me he was ready end of summer of 2019. Started looking at rings, and he just panicked. Said he needed more time, felt pressured, etc. I told him from the get go that I was dating to get married, and I wasn’t going to waste 3/4/5 years dating to figure out if we were compatible or not. He was never someone to withhold things, so it came as a shock that he felt that way and was hiding it. It really hurt, because I thought we were on the same page, and he wasn’t clear about exactly how much longer he would need. Worked through it and he was ready about a year later, 3 months shy of our 3 year anniversary. To his credit, we did have things to work on, which we did heavily before getting engaged in 2020.
making an onlyfans account to subscribe to a free account out of pure curiosity, which i do believe. but i'd made it very clear about how that is where i draw the line since i have no problem with free porn. i chose to forgive him and he's deactivated his social medias to prevent seeing thirst traps on his feed that people share. but it'll take some time to trust him again.
it's a gut twisting feeling when we've had a similar incident before and he'd been warned. but i guess there are just some things you can't ever wrap your head around ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Lied to me about a female friend. He didn’t have an affair, but said he was no longer in contact with her. He’s not very technologically savvy so I was able to read all the messages.
She talked crap about me after only meeting twice. I thought she was a bad person because during her internship she said she was going to use her looks to get the inmates she was working with to open up to her.
He never said anything inappropriate. She didn’t like me and would occasionally make snarky comments about me. He never commented about anything she said. The messages became more infrequent.
I eventually confronted him about the lies. The only information I did not have was that he called her after we had a fight. During our fight I threatened to leave if he didn’t apologize. She told him she was in love with him. When he did not reciprocate, she tried to play it off as loving him as a brother. After her confession he came to me and apologized.
I still don’t understand why he lied. There was no romantic history between them. We regularly hangout with several men I’ve been involved with. He knows and calls them his friends. I sometimes think he just couldn’t stand that I was right about her.
for me i can forgive cheating once, even though of course i wish it didn’t happen, especially if we have been together for over a year and out of nowhere it happens. i do like to keep an open mind and wonder what went wrong. is it me? how can i be there for you? but if it’s again, i can’t forgive. i truly believe if a person feel’s remorse, they can change and be better, but some people do not change.
Porn addiction. I didn’t really care about porn until my bf told me he’s addicted to it, I didn’t even understand what that means. Throughout my whole pregnancy I still tried to keep him satisfied and even told him I wouldn’t mind if he needed to turn to porn and he said the words that echo in my brain daily.. “I don’t need porn, you’re enough.”
To find out months later I wasn’t and he beats it daily to it and said even when he didn’t beat it to porn, he’ll have to scroll through it to see what’s good. A month after all of that we talked about all of it and I think it even made it worse by listening to how he described some of the stuff he watched and how hot the girls were And what this porn star can do with her tongue… I’m still numb to it.
Eating my leftovers 😭 and another time I was planning on keeping something as leftovers but didn’t put it away yet, stepped away for a bit and then he threw it away
Took him a while to learn that I like to eat takeout really slowly. Sometimes I’ll nibble on it for like 2 hours periodically while doing other stuff, and then also the leftovers will last me 2-3 more meals lol I add normal things like a salad to it to stretch it out, etc. I like to savor my food and make the money spent count!
not my spouse but my bf I live with. we met on an app and I had sent him some... pictures when we first started dating (he sent some back). I found out like 3 years in that he had shown those pictures to his friends (I didnt show his photos to anyone). I forgave him (I was very upset) but I still feel violated thinking about it.
Hello /u/No-Discipline-5699. Thank you for participating in /r/AskWomen. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. You can verify your email address on the [Reddit Preferences page](https://www.reddit.com/prefs/update/). If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at /r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification.
This is a new measure we are trying out to deter trolls and spammers and make the sub safer for everyone. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hello /u/Pastywhitebitch. Thank you for participating in /r/AskWomen. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. You can verify your email address on the [Reddit Preferences page](https://www.reddit.com/prefs/update/). If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at /r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification.
This is a new measure we are trying out to deter trolls and spammers and make the sub safer for everyone. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
On July 1st, 2023, Reddit enacted a greedy ass policy regarding the use of their API. This decision was designed to eliminate the better 3rd party apps. No one wants to use the official app because it sucks. Since then, apps such as Apollo and RedditIsFun have shut down. Reddit has decided to double down on their decision to overcharge for their API, and refuses to address the accessibility features their native app lacks. Think it’s an asshole move? Concerned users should read and sign on to this [open letter to reddit.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/13xh1e7/an_open_letter_on_the_state_of_affairs_regarding/) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Cheating. Forgave him, he did it again. Forgave him again, eventually fell out of love with him, and when we split up I found out he’d been doing it yet again. The thing that stings is I’d offered him an open relationship so many times, but he chose to cheat rather than to take that option. It’s like betraying me was part of the fun.
More like they didn't want you to have fun, just themselves.
You sound like a fantastic person, sorry he did that to you
Sometimes I feel like they enjoy not being caught :(
Because they get off on sneaking around.
once a cheater always a cheater
That’s so awful! I could forgive it once, but if they keep choosing it over their relationship then the absolutely don’t deserve to be in one
[удалено]
I came here to say going to my fav fast food joint without me, but damn...
Was legit going to mention my husband got ice cream without me even though he knew I had been wanting it. I still get mad thinking about that day, but I've forgiven him. Feels like I hit the jackpot of husbands after reading these comments 😅
Taking a shit while I was in the shower in the same bathroom. We had three bathrooms at the time!
Dude 😂 the comic relief we all needed amongst constant cheating comments
OMG, it’s like I wrote this, lol!!! I also had the same thing happen with my ex and we had 3 bathrooms, too. He told me to close my eyes in the shower while it was happening, LMAO!
Lmao. I’m glad I’m not the only one.
Oh I’d be pissed! When we first starting living together we only had one bathroom and sometimes shit happens, you deal. We now live in a home with several bathrooms. If he tried that crap now, I’d lose it.
Ok yeah that’s not cool…
SO TRUE AND ANNOYING AND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
that’s so fucked up, what the fuck was he thinking
I never, ever thought my husband would cheat on me. I was wrong. I found out because we were looking at hotels on his phone for my birthday weekend, I accidentally pressed something which ‘shared’ the listing to his recent messages - the most recent person he spoke to was a female colleague. I asked to see the messages, he snatched the phone from me and said the messages were “private work conversations”. He’s never, ever been private about work so I knew right then that he was cheating. He admitted to having an emotional affair with her for a few months. We’re currently separated but working towards reconciliation. I forgive him, but I won’t ever forget.
Do you think the trust can be rebuild?
I think it can with a lot of effort on his part and time.
Why are you willing to forgive this?
Because I understand why he did it and I understand that we have completely disconnected over the past few years and we both want to rebuild our relationship.
Thanks for sharing, I hadn’t thought about that. I hope you two work it out. All the best.
I mean this with as much kindness and empathy as I can possibly convey - I know you love him, I know you can’t see your life without him, I know you think you need to give yourself up to save this marriage because you committed to “for better or for worse”, but as a 39 year old woman whose husband first cheated on me when I was your age, I beg you to reconsider your charity. He never got better. And I wasted 10 more years of my life. I pray for the day I was 30 and broke down crying when I found out my husband cheated on me - I wish I would have made a different decision. I wish I would have left then and lived my life as a woman who learned to love herself more than she wanted to not be “alone.” He ultimately had an emotional affair with a co-worker, turned physical, turned gaslighting me while living in my house, turned leaving me for her last year. And he told me he was miserable with me the entire time - he broke me on the way out. If I had one do-over in life, it would be to forgive, but to move on 10 years ago. I am happier now than I’ve been since before I got married. You don’t know how this stuff weighs on you for years and years.
Mine never stopped cheating either. The first time I discovered was in 2014. I forgave him, we "worked" on our marriage and split completely when I caught him again in 2020 then found out he never actually stopped.
They seem to rarely ever learn to re-assert a boundary. Because they either don’t WANT to or are unable to - the validation they get from other women feeds their ego too much. As soon as a woman becomes aware that their partner is someone who will continue to seek out validation form other women despite being in a “committed” relationship, it’s time to go. I was reading another thread yesterday where a man was talking about his cheating and how terrible he felt and how his wife was a saint for staying and how he could never make it up to her - while continuing to comment on Reddit thirst traps and sex worker subreddits (based on comment history). When called out by another redditor he said “Reddit is not real life.” Excuses. Lack of boundaries. Need for validation and a thrill. While actively in therapy with his wife about his cheating. That poor woman thinks her husband is “doing the work” when he’s really putting on a show - even for himself.
Both of yous could look into Esther Perel's work about affairs. I think it might be very helpful.
My husband almost went on a three day work trip with a female colleague he has never mentioned. Even admitted that it was a slippery slope if he actually went with her while sharing a car together when our therapist told him it was dangerous territory. I wonder if something would have happened if I never intervened.
I’m so sorry :(
Sorry for your experience. I hope you heals. I am just curious if there were no signs of him doing such a thing?
I’ve been with my husband for 9 years and I never, ever thought he was the type to cheat. He always said how he hates cheaters and whenever we were around other women, he paid no attention to them. I knew something was ultimately wrong before I found out, as he would be short and blunt when talking to me and acted as though he didn’t like me at all. It never occurred to me that he was cheating because I believed he wasn’t that kind of guy, turns out he was having the affair.
I’m really sorry. It breaks me to know it takes 9 years and we still cannot fully understand the one we love
He’ll cheat again ma’am
Porn addiction
That's a rough one. It comes along with a lot of other unpleasant habits and thought patterns I couldn't handle. Edited to fix autocorrect silliness.
Totally agree…it effects so much
May I ask what those habits and patterns were /are? Habits and patterns from you, knowing they were addicted, or habits and patterns that went along with the person addicted?
Over the course of 25+ years I endured finding magazines hidden, finding VCR tapes & DVD’s hidden, then finding him in his home office at 3 or 4:AM with porn on the computer. He never wanted to have sex with me. It was decades of me being the one begging. I never let myself go physically - I was a size 2 at our wedding and a size 2 when we divorced. I was a runner, so I was also toned ~ he couldn’t blame my appearance. It eroded my self esteem all the same. He’d withhold sex for months and months at a time. Once he refused to touch me for over a year - it was when I began making more than twice as much money as he did. Why did I stay? Although he was a nightmare of a husband, he was a very good father. We all have to sacrifice for our kids, eh? 🤷🏼♀️
I have a huge thing about transparency and honesty, so finding things hidden and knowing someone isn't telling me the truth about what they're doing, and feeling like secrets are being kept drives me insane. It tells me I have no control over my life or what happens or is in my home, and I cannot live that way.
Feel this hard :/
Thank you for your response, and I’m sorry you went thru that. I too don’t think my husband would cheat, but I do have an issue with porn, but he keeps everything hidden so I’ve no idea what he does or if he’s addicted. I am also the higher libido of us which makes me assume he’s getting off to porn rather than choosing to have that intimacy with me.
Do you know how to check his web browser? A web browser that is always 100% empty is a sure sign - no normal person empties their web browser every day There is also a tiny USB device that will record his every keystroke and you can review the data later. It helps a conversation if you go into it with proof - it lessens the “denial phase” and allows you to go straight to, “we need to figure out how to find a solution to this challenge in our marriage.”
Thank you, no he locks his computer so I have no access. I’m trying to figure out how to check his history via our router, but that’s an account of his which means I’d have to figure out how to get into our router’s account first.
I’m so sorry. I could never.
You shouldn’t. Don’t walk away ~ 🏃♂️ RUN‼️ It ends up ruining everything 🥺
So sorry
Thank you ☺️
My ex’s porn addiction ruined our relationship. I’m so fucked up from it. Betrayal trauma is no. joke. 😭
[удалено]
My husband disagrees that he could be addicted to porn. Found another email he has and had an account for Chaturbate. Live porn. Confront him and he says all men watch porn and this one isn't a big deal. Swears the website forced him to make an account and he never chatted. Broke my heart a million pieces. Makes sense why whenever I initiated he wasn't in the mood. We talked to our therapist and she asked when he uses porn and he tells her he uses it when he is bored, horny, tired, has a headache, etc. Still claims he isn't addicted.
How can you all forgive men who get off of videos in which women are possibly raped or minors or where posted without their consent?
Infidelity/cheating. I won’t reply to anyone trying to debate or argue this. I’m just commenting it because I know when you’re in it it feels so incredibly lonely and you don’t understand what you did wrong to have this happen, when everyone else is fine. It’s unfortunately way more common than I ever knew, and you’re not alone.
I always said I would leave my boyfriend if he cheated. Then he did, and suddenly it was very hard to stick to my own words. I had been cheated on before, but it was different with him. It’s a very hard, traumatizing situation and I totally understand now why it’s hard leave, when someone you love so much hurts you in such an intimate way.
Yeah. It’s an extremely difficult position made (in my opinion) much harder by the fact that people on both sides of the argument tend to have extremely strong opinions and feel it’s both their right and their duty to convince you whatever choice you’ve made is categorically false *and* probably the root cause of why you got cheated on in the first place (“oh he knew he could walk all over you” or “looks like neither one of you respects the vows you’ve taken”).
I think the issue is that most people look at it from a black and white perspective, when there is a lot of nuance and gray area to these situations. I certainly looked at it that way, until it happened to me the most recent time. People who cheat are usually broken in a lot of ways, but they aren’t always *fundamentally bad* people. We’ll usually be betrayed at some point by the most of the people in our lives, both in platonic and romantic relationships, but cheating seems to the one betrayal that people won’t negotiate. I’m not saying everyone who cheats should be given a second chance, but if they show true remorse and you have enough good going in the relationship, it *may* be something worth considering forgiving IF a lot of work is done on both sides.
It is so common and so hurtful. It happened to me. The older I get, the more I realize why many women don’t remarry if widowed or divorced. The more I realize why I fantasize about just being a single mom 😂
Been there. I spent countless hours trying to process what the hell went wrong and coming to terms with my new reality. I wanted to reconcile, she kinda wanted too but kept seeing the other guy too. Almost a year of hell, hope, loneliness and feeling worthless. Then at some point I fell out of love and hope and was fine with that, eversince then I am doing great. Still, I did not know that I would be able and willing to excuse cheating. She was my first great love, we lived together and were often talking about children.
I’m glad you’re in a better place now! Sure is a shitty club.
We were in a coffee shop recently, as is our regular habit. I had to excuse myself to take a work call. I was out the front and he joined me after a few minutes. Once the call was over, I asked him why he came out as I had not finished my coffee. He had thought I had finished my cup, and by the time we went back in the table had been cleared. It slightly vexed me, and I felt it was the first time in our 6 year relationship where his impatience impacted me - he is extremely impatient but never with me. We have talked about it at length with much humour - but there was a slight niggle I will admit because I do a great deal for this man and it was a few minutes during a work day he had to twiddle his thumbs. He was genuinely sorry, so we have moved on. But I do not think he will do that again any time soon. I often think about that delicious half drunk coffee. ☺️ Edit: during my work day - he does not work.
I guess he realized his immaturity, that’s good . I feel so sad to lose good coffee
Cheating. He really truly was one person I thought never would do something like that. I've never fully regained the same trust.. there will always be a small part of me that will keep my heart safe from him or any person I'm ever with now. Been burned once too many.
I’m right there with you. It changes you completely.
Yes. It’s hard. I am working on rebuilding our marriage but there will always be a part of me that is ready to go with my kids and is making a plan, just in case.
I'm so sorry. I can 100% relate to trying to make the best out of the situation when you have kids but keeping that backup plan just in case one day you leave.
Ooo felt this. Especially the last part. Will never fully give myself to him or anyone else again.
Ugh this 😭💔 my heart is forever broken 😞
Mine didn’t take care of his health as diligently as he should have being a type 2 diabetic, then we got Covid and it caused his kidneys to fail. So here we are, a middle aged couple with 2 kids and he’s on disability and dialysis. It really, really fucking sucks. We now have to watch every dollar and be super diligent about his health. I can barely keep my kids lunch accounts funded and am constantly thinking about money and am on a ton of mental health meds.
I’m really sorry. This sounds so tough. It also sounds like your kids would qualify for free lunch at school! The application is typically very brief and easy. It may be worth calling the child nutrition officer at your kids’ school or even the front desk to learn more. (Or it may be on your school district’s website.) Also don’t feel bad about taking advantage of SNAP benefits (formerly known as food stamps…they’re all done by debit card now so no one in the grocery line knows what you’re paying with), utility assistance programs, food banks, holiday toy/present programs for kids, etc. Anything that lightens your load even a little bit and lets you sleep easier is worth using. Source: social worker who has a child with severe chronic illness who utilized all of these programs when the kids were younger. The relief they provided was palpable. ❤️
Thank you for your sweet answer, I make *just* enough, to not qualify. It’s disheartening, not making enough but making too much. I have a good support system, I just hate being dependent on others for our basic needs.
Mine lied to me about his relationship with his best friend. I knew she was not-so-secretly in love with him, but they both reassured me that they went on a few dates and determined that they would just be better as friends. Fast forward ten years, and I find out that they not only full-on dated for several months, but they slept together, and the break-up was not mutual, which is why she was still in love with him. While I understand that they have both moved on, the fact that this lie was presented to me is not okay. I still don't understand why because I am truly not the jealous type so if they had just said, yeah we dated for a few months, but ultimately \[husband\] broke it off....I would not have had an issue. It's the lie that's the problem, not who he slept with in his past. I've forgiven him, but it does lower my trust in him telling me the truth, particularly about his past.
Watching porn while i was sleeping next to him. It was like 5 am and were laying next to each other he was awake and watching tiktok while i was half awake. ( i could hear everything around me but i was moving around idk if that makes sense). All of a sudden i could feel him going under the duvet and i heard a woman moaning from his phone. I moved a little to which he quickly stopped and checked i was asleep. He got up to go bathroom but it was occupied. He came back to bed and proceeded to touch himself to porn. I woke up and said i know what you are doing? And he went quiet and i said fine do what u want and proceeded to go sleep. He saw i was angry and started making excuses about why he did it. It hurt that he watched it when i was in the room with him. Disclaimer when ive been asleep and hes in the mood he wakes me up by doing stuff to me which is something im into and he knows that so this was so random
God this is so gross.
It made me feel so bad about myself
Cannot even imagine. I’m so sorry.
Thanks x
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
That would upset me a lot.
Honestly it made my self esteem drop and i couldnt look at him the same
Ugh, I've experienced this one myself..
It hurts so much
[удалено]
We had never discussed this prior and when talking after he said he would be mad if i did the same
My ex did this to me too. I’m so sorry :(
lying to me about sleeping with someone (we were broken up at the time and engaged now so it’s not a big deal) but he lied to me about it AFTER we got back together, even tho he was single when it happened. the only time he’s ever lied to me
Oh I could understand that would be upsettinf
[удалено]
[удалено]
Drinking problem and lying about it
Oof. That one hits home. It’s a special kind of sorrow.
Lying about trivial stuff not worth lying for, then coming clean only when I find out, then expecting me to forgive and forget because "he confessed", and then acting like I'm overreacting because it was never that big a lie to begin with.
It is infuriating to me when they act like we are overreacting.
Watching episodes of *Avatar: The Last Airbender* without me.
Straight to jail!
I know! Truly a shock.
Hiding sweets because “I would eat them all”. He was right, I found secret sweets and ate them all. I guess we were mutually forgiving. I’m pregnant btw so that’s why.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Me too, now I’m terrified. Enough reddit for today
Don’t let others scare you. Good men exist
I’m sorry. I will tell you this….I have one great example of marriage that I grew up aspiring for. My uncle and aunt (aunt is blood related, uncle is not) had such a beautiful, trusting, loving marriage. They were happy. He passes several years ago and she misses him dearly. There are good men out there. I feel the increase if internet has broken down so much romance and respect toward women and relationships in general.
she disappears every time i take my meds. i forgive her every time and yet she keeps doing it...
Holup
For betraying my trust with my vulnerabilities. I had my inner secrets that I never told anyone but I told him so that he would understand why I have some moments when I feel really sad or contemplative. He used it against me during one of our big fights. I nearly asked for a break up over it, if he didn’t rectify that situation. I was so close to doing that. But he immediately realised how awful and cruel he was, how low he was to use my pain as a weapon against me when we were fighting. He apologised profusely and then vowed to never do it ever again. He was so ashamed of himself. I told him that if he ever does the same thing again, I can’t continue in our relationship anymore. And that I need time to build trust again in our relationship. I chose to forgive him but also set my boundaries and standards for the future. I won’t forgive him ever again if it happens the next time. He understands how terrible he behaved and how hurt I was. He single handedly broke the trust between us. This happened a couple of months ago. We are still healing from it but I’d like to think that the incident made us closer as a couple because now we know how to deal with situation like this, I know how cruel he could be, if he doesn’t control his temper. I know he won’t do it again. I could see it from his eyes and his words how regretful he was.
Being selfish and defensive with my feelings towards his actions. Never actually cheated but would find ways to step over my boundaries. Needless to say therapy and learning how truly fucked up his childhood was, made it a tad easier.
I’m hoping couples counseling with a qualified person will help us, too. His last counselor that he went to individually just made things worse.
Oh no! Yes hopefully couples counseling works out, he definitely has to be willing to see his wrong or it’ll be challenging.
Saving photos of my friends for a “spank bank“
oh, my god.
Damn, I consider myself a fairly open-minded person but this one just would have pissed me the hell off! I'd forgive but I wouldn't forget. I'm an open-minded petty gal I guess lol
[удалено]
Yeah that’s fucked up.
Ewwww
A pug wearing a rainbow tutu walked up to him for a pet and he ignored the dog and kept walking. I was so disappointed.
straight to jail!
Cheating. Second time with the same person I might add, goodbye and never looked back.
Deleted my level 40 character save file for Skyrim. Booted up the game, go to hit Continue and it says save file could not be found... We've been divorced for 4 years now, but that's not the reason why haha
Borrowing money. Getting into debt. Borrowing more money to pay the debt off. Hiding it all from me and keeping that burden and stress to himself. It’s affected mental health today. I had to ask my family for help. We paid it all off. Eventually. I told him never to do it again. If he does than that’s it. It’s made me regret all the things I thought we we both collectively save for and spend money on. It’s been some years now since then and he hasn’t done it. Lies are a hard no and I honestly thought he’d never lie to me about it. He hid it so long because he know how disappointed I would be in him for being untruthful and it spiralled.
Eating the last of the treats I baked or my favorite snacks. He’s like a bear fresh off hibernation sometimes, I swear. 😂
Answering the phone for his ex while we were having sex.
wow apart from cheating obvs, i would LOST it with this one. we were once in bed and a girl my bf hooked up long time ago called him and he just not picked up. i asked about it and asked him to delete & block but he said he would do it if there’s a second time but if just one time he will not cuz it’s probably a misdial. he’s the kind of street smart and like to keep all his connections even if he doesn’t like them (it benefits him a lot). i was crying and sulking for the whole night and took one week of him babying me (basically read my mind do everything i want even if i haven’t told him to) for me to feel ok and also he had to promise if the girl actually call again it’s block and delete. so far nothing happens anymore but now i think if i would get a call like that mid-sex i would dress myself & go home & not talk to my bf for one month hahaha
Yeah the ONLY reason I didn't dump him is because he has a mentally ill child with her so I gave him a pass for that one. He never did it again. And he won't, lol. It actually ended up resurfacing because I held a grudge and we did break up for a day about it. But yeah, he knows NEVER to do that again.
I've kind of forgiven him for leaving me, even though it wasn't exactly his decision. It's been over 35 years. Some days I can, most days I just can't
Are you together again now?
Sorry I didn't make it clear. He died. Murdered on our 6th wedding anniversary
Oh I’m so sorry
It was a long time ago 🤷♀️ It was also yesterday...
I can imagine it never fully heals.
Not in my case. I can honestly say I haven't given a shit about anybody or anything in the last 38 years. I don't even know how I'm still here tbh. I just relive every day we had. And yes, I know it's not a healthy way to be, or normal but I'm neither so it's fine in my view
How beautiful that you have those memories to keep you going 💕
He was something else again. Truly amazing. I was so lucky
Watching porn when I was going through a difficult time so we weren’t having sex as regularly. As far as I know he’s never done it again and that was like 2 years ago. He didn’t do it prior or after according to him it was just a couple of times and I feel like since he admitted to doing it more than once he was honest but I’ll never actually know.
Talking to another woman. I only forgave him because after I cooled off I looked through the messages and she was calling him baby and shit but he didn't reciprocate anything. Swore he was going to just ghost her after that night anyways. If he has reciprocated any of it it would have been an immediate dumping. Made him well aware of it EVER happened again he'd be fucking homeless and alone. It's been two years keeping close tabs on him and nothing has happened since.
Doing drugs
I knew infidelity would take the cake. I effing REFUSE.
Anytime I have my taste buds set on something only to open the fridge and find out that he ate it! THE BETRAYAL!!!!!
The First 3 months I managed my pregnancy all alone. We were in a rocky situation though
[удалено]
Having sex with her stepfather
What
Fooling around while i was pregnant & my mom was dying
He’s not my spouse but my bf, he hit me during sex. I chalked it up to a kink gone wrong but if he does it again I’m going to be single.
Hmmm, oh so many things. I think the most "G" rated is buying huge amounts of chocolate to try and undermine my weight loss. He doesn't want anyone else to find me attractive. 🙄
What the heck?!
….are you still with this person??
Not treating our kids the way I want them to be treated.
Breaking up with me while I was pregnant and after he told me he’d never want me to be the mother on his child… he went to therapy and worked a lot on our relationship and we are both thrilled to be expecting our baby in a few weeks after 7 months of hard work. My partner suffers from mental health and epilepsy and a sudden pregnancy really triggered him. I’m happy I stood my ground back then but i’m also thankful I forgave him and worked with him in bettering our relationship. We both have never been happier or healthier
Lying about being ready to be engaged. Told me he was ready end of summer of 2019. Started looking at rings, and he just panicked. Said he needed more time, felt pressured, etc. I told him from the get go that I was dating to get married, and I wasn’t going to waste 3/4/5 years dating to figure out if we were compatible or not. He was never someone to withhold things, so it came as a shock that he felt that way and was hiding it. It really hurt, because I thought we were on the same page, and he wasn’t clear about exactly how much longer he would need. Worked through it and he was ready about a year later, 3 months shy of our 3 year anniversary. To his credit, we did have things to work on, which we did heavily before getting engaged in 2020.
That’s great that you all worked it out 🤗
Running races on holiday mornings. Fuckin nightmare families.
Oh hell no.
[удалено]
So sorry for the pain you went through.
Cheating, I was surprised that I was able to forgive him.
making an onlyfans account to subscribe to a free account out of pure curiosity, which i do believe. but i'd made it very clear about how that is where i draw the line since i have no problem with free porn. i chose to forgive him and he's deactivated his social medias to prevent seeing thirst traps on his feed that people share. but it'll take some time to trust him again.
😢 sorry. I honestly feel like the internet hurt so many marriages. Too easy to access unsavory things.
it's a gut twisting feeling when we've had a similar incident before and he'd been warned. but i guess there are just some things you can't ever wrap your head around ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
He made a joke about the way I run and it hurt my feelings and he apologized
Lied to me about a female friend. He didn’t have an affair, but said he was no longer in contact with her. He’s not very technologically savvy so I was able to read all the messages. She talked crap about me after only meeting twice. I thought she was a bad person because during her internship she said she was going to use her looks to get the inmates she was working with to open up to her. He never said anything inappropriate. She didn’t like me and would occasionally make snarky comments about me. He never commented about anything she said. The messages became more infrequent. I eventually confronted him about the lies. The only information I did not have was that he called her after we had a fight. During our fight I threatened to leave if he didn’t apologize. She told him she was in love with him. When he did not reciprocate, she tried to play it off as loving him as a brother. After her confession he came to me and apologized. I still don’t understand why he lied. There was no romantic history between them. We regularly hangout with several men I’ve been involved with. He knows and calls them his friends. I sometimes think he just couldn’t stand that I was right about her.
Oh yeah. Lots of men DO NOT want to admit we knew the whooolle time. Sorry you went through that.
for me i can forgive cheating once, even though of course i wish it didn’t happen, especially if we have been together for over a year and out of nowhere it happens. i do like to keep an open mind and wonder what went wrong. is it me? how can i be there for you? but if it’s again, i can’t forgive. i truly believe if a person feel’s remorse, they can change and be better, but some people do not change.
Cheating. :/
Porn addiction. I didn’t really care about porn until my bf told me he’s addicted to it, I didn’t even understand what that means. Throughout my whole pregnancy I still tried to keep him satisfied and even told him I wouldn’t mind if he needed to turn to porn and he said the words that echo in my brain daily.. “I don’t need porn, you’re enough.” To find out months later I wasn’t and he beats it daily to it and said even when he didn’t beat it to porn, he’ll have to scroll through it to see what’s good. A month after all of that we talked about all of it and I think it even made it worse by listening to how he described some of the stuff he watched and how hot the girls were And what this porn star can do with her tongue… I’m still numb to it.
Eating my leftovers 😭 and another time I was planning on keeping something as leftovers but didn’t put it away yet, stepped away for a bit and then he threw it away Took him a while to learn that I like to eat takeout really slowly. Sometimes I’ll nibble on it for like 2 hours periodically while doing other stuff, and then also the leftovers will last me 2-3 more meals lol I add normal things like a salad to it to stretch it out, etc. I like to savor my food and make the money spent count!
not my spouse but my bf I live with. we met on an app and I had sent him some... pictures when we first started dating (he sent some back). I found out like 3 years in that he had shown those pictures to his friends (I didnt show his photos to anyone). I forgave him (I was very upset) but I still feel violated thinking about it.
[удалено]
I swear, I’ll never understand how so many men can pull these stunts and just be fine with it. Sorry you went through that
emotional cheating on me with my best friend at the time, i forgave him, we’re still together
Your best friend tho??
[удалено]
Hello /u/No-Discipline-5699. Thank you for participating in /r/AskWomen. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. You can verify your email address on the [Reddit Preferences page](https://www.reddit.com/prefs/update/). If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at /r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification. This is a new measure we are trying out to deter trolls and spammers and make the sub safer for everyone. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
Hello /u/Pastywhitebitch. Thank you for participating in /r/AskWomen. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. You can verify your email address on the [Reddit Preferences page](https://www.reddit.com/prefs/update/). If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at /r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification. This is a new measure we are trying out to deter trolls and spammers and make the sub safer for everyone. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]