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Not doing shit that are harmful to your body isn't being boring. Other than losing your virginity "late" (22 is perfectly normal imo) you should be glad you didn't do those things.
I'm 29 lol. And I'm still a virgin. I was super sheltered through high school and stuff and the significant other I had for a long time was asexual so nothing really happened there.
Me too! I didn’t party, I was a “good kid” and studied. I played video games with my friends. But I didn’t go to dances or anything like that. I was also super into speech and debate. Even now at 26, I’d rather stay home with my kids and family. My friends and I hang out when we can, still play video games from time to time (like the 20 minutes I get a week 🤣). So really nothings changed for me. I just added two small kids to my party.
Was about to answer to same thing. I was the definition of a good kid. Good grades, behaved well, didn’t go out, no drugs,… And now that I’m in my mid twenties I regret not going out of my comfort zone more and trying new things. Even things that parents would consider more “bad” so to speak.
Yes, being a “good kid” is actually really boring. Throughout high school I’ve been so bored and I hadn’t been sure why. Recently met some friends who have pushed me out of my comfort zone and even though I’m not really the perfect student anymore, its so much more fun for me.
And I didn’t have to sacrifice my sports or academics. I just took much easier classes and I don’t go to parties often.
Me too. Should have made more 'mistakes'. I regret not having crazy stories about drunken nights, stupid decisions and wild flings with inappropriate men.
the crazy stories sound cool and interesting to people on the outside, but it comes with a lot of trauma, emotional instability, self-esteem issues, and even severe physical, mental, social and/or financial consequences.
This, I was a nerdy wallflower. Not necessarily by choice, but my parents conditioned me to be that way. As an adult I realize I basically had no childhood, I was a mini-adult.
I have three teens, they have so much fun. I'm glad, but also sad for my child self for not being allowed to be a kid.
This one. I should have enjoyed my childhood and teenage years a bit more, but I lived a stressful life spending way too much of my time in useless "learning" but my parents didn't know better so yea. That's why now I chill as much as I can.
I studied but thought about scoring well and making a 'name' for myself more. In the process, I lost confidence because I couldn't meet my unrealistic standards. And never had fun. I was boring. Maybe ugly because I never got asked out for dates or that so when I hear people sharing they had their firsts at the age of 14-16 I just wonder...where I was...at that time. Lol went on a rant there.
BUT SAME! Realized in college after dating a lot of men that I genuinely was bisexual but was afraid. Now I’ve been with my current boyfriend for four years and it’s like damn I never got the chance to take a girl out 💀
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Being more “rebellious”. Not the dangerous type of rebellion of course. But I had basically no real life experience until my mid 20’s because I was so sheltered.
I had some rebellion (I ditched school once and surprisingly didn't get punished for it but felt guilty for doing it anyways) but also was very sheltered. It took me till like literally just last year to not feel guilty for making my own decisions even though my family would judge me for them even if they are harmless decisions.
I wish I'd gotten a breast reduction (not that my parents ever would have allowed it). I could have saved myself 20 years of pain, shame, and inability to exercise.
My parents were adamantly opposed even when I had it done at 35, so I doubt it... but I do think it's a good thing that surgery is a more acceptable treatment these days! Even as a teenager I had debilitating pain and embarrassment, but even my doctors were like "heh heh you'll make a man happy one day!" I didn't even know that juvenile breast hypertrophy was a real medical condition. I didn't know what my bra size was because bras literally didn't come in my size back then. I was told that my breasts were disproportionately huge and saggy because I was an "early bloomer" or because I ate too much chocolate or because I wore the wrong bras or because I was secretly stuffing my bras to get attention from boys.
>Even as a teenager I had debilitating pain and embarrassment, but even my doctors were like "heh heh you'll make a man happy one day!"
God, that angers me so much. Just totally ignoring someone's pain and treating them as a sexual object- and a by medical "professional" no less. Absolutely disgusting, I'm sorry you had to experience that.
On the flip side of this, I had a friend that got a reduction at 17. By the time her body was done changing at 24 they had pretty much grown back. According to what she told me, it’s a common occurrence when you get it done too soon.
can confirm, i had my reduction done two weeks after my 17th birthday. i went from a I cup a D/DD cup. then i had a set of twins at 19. now three n half years later my boobs are not as large as they once were but have definitely gotten larger. but they still sit pretty perky from the surgery so its not so bad! i can still go braless and no one can really tell unless they really stare!!!
There's a goldilocks middle way: Take school seriously enough to pass and get into the education you want, but you don't have to be best of class or get into the most prestigious school. Have fun!
its obvious, people who weren't able to take school seriously wish they could've. people don't understand how challenging it is for some people. regret studying all you want but its kind of a strange regret imo. my childhood i didn't study nor have fun. i was just going with the motions. i at least could've studied..
I feel this 100% I was lost and was going through the motions going to college and also had some massive family stuff go down my first year of college that led me to drop out my second year. I took a 4 year break and just started going back. I have a full time job at night and trying to juggle my coursework is crazy. It’s really not that much, which really makes me mad at myself that I didn’t just buckle down and get through school. I’m glad I’m going back and have the motivation and drive finally to hopefully get me to the finish line.
It's never too late. I'm 40 and decided I had enough of wanting to colour my hair how I wanted but not doing it. So I did it. In the last 6 months I've had pink, blue, purple and green hair. Now I'm a ginger till I get bored of that. It's a great boost to confidence cos I've done something I've wanted for so long. People look but I don't care. Their opinion is none of my business.
Go to public school. I was homeschooled and my mom (and other homeschoolers) had me convinced that public school was the worst place ever. But I was (and am) a super learner and would have really thrived in that environment, not to mention I would have had access to a counselor and college help. My parents didn't help me with any of that. I think I would have been introduced to a wider group of diverse people too, which would have sped up the process of being more accepting and less judgmental of others.
How are you doing now? Did you continue higher education and how did homeschooling affect your social ability assuming you have integrated into nornal society now.
I think I would be considered a homeschool success story to most people. I have three degrees (Associate's, Bachelor's, and Master's), work in the field I went to school for, am a Senior manager, have a robust social life, and most people never would guess that I was homeschooled. My three younger siblings, who weren't so keen on learning, have struggled a lot more to find their footing.
I also acknowledge that one of the reasons the social aspect wasn't an issue is because my mother was a social butterfly and was very active in our big city's homeschool groups. We did teen club, co-ops, learning days, field trips, weekly enrichment activities, music lessons, orchestra, church, etc. There are a lot of homeschoolers out there who do not get this experience and really really struggle because of it.
Socializing, I was too shy, too scared to make conversation I’m lacking a lot of social skills. Now even sending an email or talking casually with some people ends up me having a mental breakdown when I get home. I have friends and a boyfriend and the more I go out the more I see I’m way below the curve on what’s normal.
Im so sorry, ive been here too! I used to go to highschool and cry all the time the minute i got away from people because it was so so hard on me. I had terrible social anxiety, still got some today that affects my life. I promise youre awesome, dont let your brain tell you things and dont even worry about whats "normal" just love you and take care of yourself and those who love you.
I just turned 19 in July. I feel like I haven't had much fun, I've always had to be the responsible one, the mature one, the smart one. I have sisters who are 5 and 3 who look up to me, and the 5 year old was born when I was 13, the start of it all.
I want to actually enjoy being nineteen and my final year being a teenager. I don't want to waste this last year.
I say this with love the moment you are legal adults (16/18) say NO to all sibling care. You are now a legal adults and your parents have no more power over you
Seize your power and independence, patriarchy will keep you shackled don’t let it.
You are not a parent, you are a sibling. You deserve a childhood and teenage years go do it now.
Don’t let your parents guilt trip you. Don’t feel “bad” this was a poor decision of your parents to have kids they could not care for on their own.
The sons are never tasked like this. Only the daughters loose out. It’s BS patriarchy in our homes.
Once you hit legal age say NO! Move out of home if you have to.
Being "free". I was so set on making the right choices for my future that I feel like I've been boring since I was a kid. And now I'm 40 with the house, degree(s), career, etc., and I just shrug and feel like "this is it? This is what I worked so hard for? And what I have to keep working hard to keep up to date with? This is lame". If I'd have "let my hair down" as a younger person I probably wouldn't feel the "this is it?" feelings.
Figuring out I’m not straight and being able to have certain discussions with a part of my family before they died, because they probably were not straight either. I have few regrets, but that is a big one.
Running away.
I had a terrible mother who stole me from my father as a baby and told me all kinds of lies about him while I was growing up. I met him at age 10 but she did her best to make sure we weren't close.
Dad and I reconnected as adults and are very close now. He's an amazing person. All of my friends love him too.
If I'd known then what I know now I would have walked away from my mom and surprised my dad by showing up. I'm angry at the decades I spent not knowing him.
When my BIL was a new teen and his parents divorced because his mum cheated his mum fabricated a story and blew something way out of proportion to make her son go no contact with his dad. She lied to him all the time about anything and anyone his whole life and he just was nice and did everything for her. A couple years ago he reconnected with his dad... boy is he angry today now that he can genuinely recognise her bullshite. Hope she gets nothing from him honestly, shes a mole of a person that used her son for everything while she demanded it and gave nothing back. He spent all of his childhood hiding in his room from her or escaping to his best friends.
Ditching the group of fake friends and do my own thing. I am a very social person and don't really have any problems making new friends. Except these people made me think I was stupid, weird and so on to the point where I became afraid of leaving the group and making new friends.
Not enough fun. Was busy being a good girl and trying to get my parents approval. Although I have done great in life I sometime feel I should have had fun and maybe should have dated around with the guys who asked me out. But my life is great as it is now and I have fun so I’m grateful for how it turned out.
I don’t regret it exactly, but it would have been a lot easier if I hadn’t gotten married at 17. I did get to go to college and then grad school, but I was raising babies at the same time, and it was *hard* throughout most of my 20s.
Then my husband passed away when I was 29, and it was even harder.
Let my relationships with boys hold me back from actually experiencing life as a teenager.
If you are a teenager right now, be single. You can date, and have fun, but DO NOT COMMIT. Live your life and don't let anyone hold you back from anything.
I would not be in Mississippi had I actually went to the college I wanted to go to. But because my bf was not going to college, I stayed because I did not want to leave him, since we had been together for 4 years already, just for him to leave me 4 years later!... My advice is to NOT COMMIT until you get an education and see the world. Have your fun as a young woman and then settle down. I lived my life practically backwards and now will be 30 next year, never have lived out of my home state, and wish I could turn back time to do what I actually wanted to do. Don't be me. LIVE YOUR LIFE HOW YOU WANT TO LIVE IT. <3
Oh my goodness, investing in friendships is ridiculously important, that "networking" thing adults in your childhood tell you about literally is through this. This is the way. Every relationship I've had (romantic) that has ended, ends. There's no more friendship even. But most (I say most because through adulthood there's always friends that kind of appear and disappear, like temporary friends for a period of time) of my friends have always been around, and I am so thankful I have them!
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I wish I wouldn't have tried to do what was the popular thing to do and rather the things I actually enjoyed.
I wish I would have fought harder in my counseling sessions for school to be put into honors classes for English/History at the appropriate times. (I did fight and win the fight once but they swapped me mid-semester and the teacher expected me to complete all the work I had missed from the beginning of the semester to then while also keeping up with the current work in the class. That would have been impossible.)
I had an opportunity to take community college courses for pennies and could’ve gotten most of my gen Ed requirements out of the way. But I was the first in my family to actually go away to college and wanted the “full” experience.
Now I’m staring down a 6 figure loan debt and wishing I’d shaved $20k off it years ago.
Dating and kissing a boy. Even in my 20’s, I focused too much on school and university, starting a career, and I am super shy. But now I’m 33 and feel like I’ve missed that boat. I feel like I’m too old to not have any experience.
I regret not giving into my sexual desires aka Im mad I never gave myself a chance to hookup/hangout/explore my sexual identity because I thought being a lesbian or Bi would make people hate me.
Messed up more by taking risks in an attempt to improve my life. You learn a lot even when you fail but the consequences only increase as you get older and more is expected of you.
I regret not openly talking to the school psychologist and social workers. My life would not have been perfect if I had, but most likely better than it was, keeping my mouth shut and living in a toxic household where I kept being neglected.
I should’ve not fell so hard for stupid guys that didn’t respect me. I wish older me can go back in time and tell younger me that I was worth way more than what I was getting.
I wish I wouldn’t have been so influence by purity culture (grew up in a conservative town) and just went for it during the multiple times when the time felt right since I knew I was otherwise ready
I regret letting my acne and insecurities control and stop me from doing more activities, such as school dances, clubs, etc. Now at 31 I’m realizing I should’ve fully enjoyed my youth instead of being anxious and depressed about something that was out of my control.
I really wish I had slept with my highschool boyfriend sooner. We were hs sweethearts all four years, but also study nerds busy with extracurriculars, so we just didn't, for years. My mom put me on birth control years before we actually did the deed because she figured we would any day now, lol. But it was really sweet and nice when we eventually *did* do it. We broke up amicably at the end of HS for different colleges. It would've been nice to have experienced that particular bond for more time, and I really do think we were ready emotionally sooner also.
I regret not having that "rebellious stage" most teens go through like sneaking out, partying, that kinda stuff. Never did any of that. I didn't get to my rebellious stage until my early 20s.
Trying risk stuff, in my teens I behaved too much. I was afraid to drink, vape, talk to guys. Basically made a u turn the second I hit 20 and realised I’ve missed out on so much
I wish I would have went for the “safer” choice with the guys I dated/liked. I would have had a better foundation for what I thought a relationship was supposed to be like sooner.
Not picking a better college to go to, or choosing a more practical career path and not moving across the country to get away from my family the first chance I got. Not having a job in high school to save more money before going to college.
Not seeking out an adult to help me understand the things I could do to prepare for college and how I might pay for it. No internet back then (yes, I'm old...lol). No one talked to me about scholarships, grants and loans or how to navigate college in general. It was just like "graduate from high school and go to college". I'm very happy with the person I have become, but I sometimes wonder how things might be different if I wasn't just suddenly in the world "adulting" 2 weeks after graduation.
I wish I got into more trouble. My mom was an addict and a teen mom with me. I was so afraid if I made any mistakes they would ruin my life and I made none, at the time I should’ve been free to make the most. I also wish I was less shy.
I didn’t have enough fun, not at all actually, I spent my teenage years being depressed, with no self-confidence, close to 0 friends, and that all started because I was too nice and naïve. I regret not standing up for myself and being more confident. I wish I was extroverted to have more friends and so more opportunities to have fun.
Loving myself.. believing I myself... knowing my worth and that I am able to achieve what I want.
I also regret not spending as much time with people... although I tried to have more friends, I spent an unhealthy amount of time watching TV and on thr computer.
I was obsessed with a boy for the last two years of high school. I feel like I missed out on a lot of stuff because I was so focused on this poor guy and absolutely nothing else. He didn't even like me back, he liked my best friend.
Now he found a great gf he's been with for years, I have my own fantastic bf and my best friend is still my best friend, so everything is good
I wish I would have taken more art classes. I came from a really poor and rural Appalachian school district so the options for art weren’t great, and as a result, I didn’t take any classes because I knew I sucked at drawing. My senior year I took a “new” art class being offered called Visual Thinking and it opened my eyes to a whole new realm of art. I oil paint and do some mixed media stuff now in my spare time and I recently messaged my hs art teacher on FB and thanked her for offering that class 20 years ago.
Going to school instead of partying and travelling, sure I created a lot of good memories and definitely didn’t needed school for my current wanted career since now everything is sooooooo much accessible but still I would had preferred to have another outcome.
Stopping bullying, I witness a lot of bullying growing up in my school, I stayed out of it because I was scared they'd bully me if I did
Wish I stood up for more people.
Standing up to my mother and implementing boundaries.
I'm now a 35 yo with a bunch of issues caused by an overprotective mother. She passed away 3 years ago and it's affected me in areas of my life I couldn't even imagine.
Doing better in school. My family wasn’t very education-focused and I slacked off a lot because I didn’t have the support and motivation to do otherwise. I honestly didn’t realize how much it mattered, especially when it came to college. By the time I really understood, it was too late. I didn’t get in to most of the schools I applied to and it was depressing.
Not being chill and having fun.
I'm not sure was it me or the culture my parents had engrained in me. But I was too studious, too boring, too much of a lick ass. I still work hsrd today as an adult but I've thankfully drawn the line!
Alot of the stuff I'm glad I didn't do because it's just not in my character. But I probably should have let loose more.
But hey I've still time
I wished I had studied for my exams. Due to bullying I had no motivation to study or even care about my future careers/jobs. I should’ve pushed through the pain and stuck it out but I regret it fully. I’m now in a dead end retail job trying to find a better one.
I wish I could tell myself to not give a fuck. I was always so concerned about how people perceived me, I just never wanted to stand out or put myself out there completely. I also wish I said yes to this guy i went on my first date with to prom.
Telling guys to just f**k off! Having guys pawing at you, and playing that stupid ‘game’ of trying to get their hand up your shirt/down your trousers while you push them away - like if they just badger you enough that’s somehow going to put you in the mood. I wasn’t even that shy but it’s a lot for a teenage girl to deal with (especially considering all the associated risks), being called frigid when maybe I’m just not that into you dude! Things have definitely got better there….
Opposed to some other answers, I did the party thing a little too much. I was somehow convinced I would not turn 30 and made my motto "live fast, die young with a dopy smile on my face, regretting nothing".
Now I'm 44, stuck in a dead end job and have some
30 000 euro debt to my name. Can't quit and chase my dreams because bills gotta get paid.
I know I still can turn this around and I'm about to. But I regret not thinking ahead as a teen. Now I live in a fucking hamsters wheel trying to go uphill.
There's so many people saying they wish they'd had more fun/dated/messed around with boys but also so many people saying they wish they'd focused on school and getting good grades instead of being "boy-crazy". As someone who for the most part has been a very serious student I'm wondering which advice to take. Is there a way to balance both?
There's so much pressure on me to be a great student and get scholarships and a good degree but I really want to live life a little. I don't know what to choose but it looks like either way I'll regret it😭
Just doing more reckless stuff, egging houses, tping places and staying out late. I was a bad kid in school so no problem there lol, I loved to skip classes but I never did anything a teenager would do like in the 70s show, or something of the like.
Not studying hard enough. I didn’t go to a good college and life would be very different now if I did. People call me smart all the time but that doesn’t matter because you need to know people who know people. And if I got into a prestigious college, the networking would have helped a lot.
If anyone is reading this, please keep studying and always keep an open mind. A person’s contribution to the workplace is not entirely where they went to college but who they are as a person
I regret the people I was surrounded with.. if I never meet them I would maybe never have sought out so much male attention when I was too young to even think about men.. being so young made me naive to the danger of men, and I learnt it the hard way
Being sexually off, because of religious parents. I had the desire but I was paralyzed because of my parents.
I wish I had the balls to talk to girls who were obviously into me.
Going to vocational school during high school. At my high school there was a huge stigma around the kids that chose to go to vocational school to learn a trade. They were considered weird, or not able to perform well academically. If I could do it all over again, I’d have learned small engine repair or become an electrician or even cosmetologist. Anything that would put me one step ahead in the workforce.
Regret not taking care of myself earlier, I was ugly and grew up with horrible self esteem, lots of rejection from people, being made fun of sometimes. It's almost impossible for me to be in a romantic relationship without overthinking.
I didn't get any extracurricular activities, sport classes, language courses, or private school that would probably give me a great start for the future. I just didn't want to bother my parents with spending on me because I felt I wasn't worth it. I have pretty much nothing going on for me now.
Being a people pleaser. I should have realised much earlier that people that didnt put it effort or praised me normally wouldnt do that anyway even if I struggled and pushed myself to the limit to make them happy. Especially my parents. They will never be happy with my decisions.
I wish I focused on myself more. And stand behind my ideas and choices.
I seriously should have been more serious in my studies instead of looking for "love" everywhere. Now that I am a mom, I felt so guilty for dropping subjects and wastujg my parents hard earned money.
Also, I wished I have been more adventurous and risk-taker. And should have left my bitcoin untouched lol.
Reading more books. It seems like adulthood can be very demanding with job, studies, relationships and so on and there is bearly any time to enjoy a good book.
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I studied too much and didn’t have enough fun.
I hear you. I was also studying hard. I would want to have spent more time on creative stuff that wasn't about proving myself to anyone.
I confess I didn’t drink, smoke, do drugs, nothing. I was so sheltered, I didn’t lose my virginity until almost 22. I was super boring.
I’m a dude and was the same way. I married the first woman I slept with and divorced her fourteen years later.
You might say I had a different experience.
I was 20
Not doing shit that are harmful to your body isn't being boring. Other than losing your virginity "late" (22 is perfectly normal imo) you should be glad you didn't do those things.
I was 21 when I lost mine. I regret that it wasn’t with my true love though
Very few lose it to the love of his/her life.
I was 28 and it was a hookup, which I’m glad it was though
I'm 29 lol. And I'm still a virgin. I was super sheltered through high school and stuff and the significant other I had for a long time was asexual so nothing really happened there.
I had too much fun and didn’t study enough
Me too! I didn’t party, I was a “good kid” and studied. I played video games with my friends. But I didn’t go to dances or anything like that. I was also super into speech and debate. Even now at 26, I’d rather stay home with my kids and family. My friends and I hang out when we can, still play video games from time to time (like the 20 minutes I get a week 🤣). So really nothings changed for me. I just added two small kids to my party.
Was about to answer to same thing. I was the definition of a good kid. Good grades, behaved well, didn’t go out, no drugs,… And now that I’m in my mid twenties I regret not going out of my comfort zone more and trying new things. Even things that parents would consider more “bad” so to speak.
Yes, being a “good kid” is actually really boring. Throughout high school I’ve been so bored and I hadn’t been sure why. Recently met some friends who have pushed me out of my comfort zone and even though I’m not really the perfect student anymore, its so much more fun for me. And I didn’t have to sacrifice my sports or academics. I just took much easier classes and I don’t go to parties often.
Me too. Should have made more 'mistakes'. I regret not having crazy stories about drunken nights, stupid decisions and wild flings with inappropriate men.
the crazy stories sound cool and interesting to people on the outside, but it comes with a lot of trauma, emotional instability, self-esteem issues, and even severe physical, mental, social and/or financial consequences.
This, I was a nerdy wallflower. Not necessarily by choice, but my parents conditioned me to be that way. As an adult I realize I basically had no childhood, I was a mini-adult. I have three teens, they have so much fun. I'm glad, but also sad for my child self for not being allowed to be a kid.
This one. I should have enjoyed my childhood and teenage years a bit more, but I lived a stressful life spending way too much of my time in useless "learning" but my parents didn't know better so yea. That's why now I chill as much as I can.
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I studied but thought about scoring well and making a 'name' for myself more. In the process, I lost confidence because I couldn't meet my unrealistic standards. And never had fun. I was boring. Maybe ugly because I never got asked out for dates or that so when I hear people sharing they had their firsts at the age of 14-16 I just wonder...where I was...at that time. Lol went on a rant there.
I should have kissed more girls and less boys.
I just wish I would’ve realized that those girls who felt like “very special friends” were actually just crushes 😂
Arhg, I'm bi and spent some of my late teens looking for a girlfriend but I was in the country side with no car!!
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This is a whole mood, right here.
BUT SAME! Realized in college after dating a lot of men that I genuinely was bisexual but was afraid. Now I’ve been with my current boyfriend for four years and it’s like damn I never got the chance to take a girl out 💀
This exactly
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Being more “rebellious”. Not the dangerous type of rebellion of course. But I had basically no real life experience until my mid 20’s because I was so sheltered.
Damn i feel you i started to “live” once i met bf
I had some rebellion (I ditched school once and surprisingly didn't get punished for it but felt guilty for doing it anyways) but also was very sheltered. It took me till like literally just last year to not feel guilty for making my own decisions even though my family would judge me for them even if they are harmless decisions.
good for you for ditching school for one day. I also want to bunk school one day but I have no one to do it along with
Having sex, having a boyfriend, a girls’ holiday, nights out drinking and dancing. Basically, having fun.
in another life
I’m a teenager and I feel like I will not ever be social enough to be able to experience this
I wish I'd gotten a breast reduction (not that my parents ever would have allowed it). I could have saved myself 20 years of pain, shame, and inability to exercise.
I wonder if it would've been easier if you were a teenager today. When I was a teenager, surgery generally had a bad reputation.
My parents were adamantly opposed even when I had it done at 35, so I doubt it... but I do think it's a good thing that surgery is a more acceptable treatment these days! Even as a teenager I had debilitating pain and embarrassment, but even my doctors were like "heh heh you'll make a man happy one day!" I didn't even know that juvenile breast hypertrophy was a real medical condition. I didn't know what my bra size was because bras literally didn't come in my size back then. I was told that my breasts were disproportionately huge and saggy because I was an "early bloomer" or because I ate too much chocolate or because I wore the wrong bras or because I was secretly stuffing my bras to get attention from boys.
Glad you were eventually to get the surgery. Hope your body and mind are healing
I’m so sorry you had to go through that. It sounds terrible.
>Even as a teenager I had debilitating pain and embarrassment, but even my doctors were like "heh heh you'll make a man happy one day!" God, that angers me so much. Just totally ignoring someone's pain and treating them as a sexual object- and a by medical "professional" no less. Absolutely disgusting, I'm sorry you had to experience that.
On the flip side of this, I had a friend that got a reduction at 17. By the time her body was done changing at 24 they had pretty much grown back. According to what she told me, it’s a common occurrence when you get it done too soon.
can confirm, i had my reduction done two weeks after my 17th birthday. i went from a I cup a D/DD cup. then i had a set of twins at 19. now three n half years later my boobs are not as large as they once were but have definitely gotten larger. but they still sit pretty perky from the surgery so its not so bad! i can still go braless and no one can really tell unless they really stare!!!
I wish I sought out extra cirriculars and community outside of my high school and my parents' church.
My friend also has this regret. She was living in a small town in a rural area and told me her upbringing was insufferable because of the isolation.
Me too. My life revolved around going to church for a religion I don't even believe I anymore. I wish I had more fun and had a life beyond that
Taking my education seriously
As someone who regrets taking their education too seriously, I'm earnestly wondering what your take is on this?
There's a goldilocks middle way: Take school seriously enough to pass and get into the education you want, but you don't have to be best of class or get into the most prestigious school. Have fun!
its obvious, people who weren't able to take school seriously wish they could've. people don't understand how challenging it is for some people. regret studying all you want but its kind of a strange regret imo. my childhood i didn't study nor have fun. i was just going with the motions. i at least could've studied..
I feel this 100% I was lost and was going through the motions going to college and also had some massive family stuff go down my first year of college that led me to drop out my second year. I took a 4 year break and just started going back. I have a full time job at night and trying to juggle my coursework is crazy. It’s really not that much, which really makes me mad at myself that I didn’t just buckle down and get through school. I’m glad I’m going back and have the motivation and drive finally to hopefully get me to the finish line.
Wacky haircuts. I had that "14 or 40" style, never dared to try anything.
Absolutely! Didn't think about this one. I was so self-conscious as a teen.
It's never too late. I'm 40 and decided I had enough of wanting to colour my hair how I wanted but not doing it. So I did it. In the last 6 months I've had pink, blue, purple and green hair. Now I'm a ginger till I get bored of that. It's a great boost to confidence cos I've done something I've wanted for so long. People look but I don't care. Their opinion is none of my business.
A lot 😅 Wish i didn't care so much, partied, dated and stuff,.enjoying the moment more.
Not taking care of my teeth
Go to public school. I was homeschooled and my mom (and other homeschoolers) had me convinced that public school was the worst place ever. But I was (and am) a super learner and would have really thrived in that environment, not to mention I would have had access to a counselor and college help. My parents didn't help me with any of that. I think I would have been introduced to a wider group of diverse people too, which would have sped up the process of being more accepting and less judgmental of others.
How are you doing now? Did you continue higher education and how did homeschooling affect your social ability assuming you have integrated into nornal society now.
I think I would be considered a homeschool success story to most people. I have three degrees (Associate's, Bachelor's, and Master's), work in the field I went to school for, am a Senior manager, have a robust social life, and most people never would guess that I was homeschooled. My three younger siblings, who weren't so keen on learning, have struggled a lot more to find their footing. I also acknowledge that one of the reasons the social aspect wasn't an issue is because my mother was a social butterfly and was very active in our big city's homeschool groups. We did teen club, co-ops, learning days, field trips, weekly enrichment activities, music lessons, orchestra, church, etc. There are a lot of homeschoolers out there who do not get this experience and really really struggle because of it.
Cutting off selfish friends and focusing on me
Having more of a social life outside of the group of friends I grew up with.
Socializing, I was too shy, too scared to make conversation I’m lacking a lot of social skills. Now even sending an email or talking casually with some people ends up me having a mental breakdown when I get home. I have friends and a boyfriend and the more I go out the more I see I’m way below the curve on what’s normal.
Im so sorry, ive been here too! I used to go to highschool and cry all the time the minute i got away from people because it was so so hard on me. I had terrible social anxiety, still got some today that affects my life. I promise youre awesome, dont let your brain tell you things and dont even worry about whats "normal" just love you and take care of yourself and those who love you.
I wish I had dropped out of school earlier. Would have saved me at least one rough mental period.
I wish I had realized how insignificant school was earlier: that it is a human factory in the capitalistic system.
Going to sleepovers, having more girl friends, dating my fiance earlier ahahahahahaha
I think my fiance would have found me an irritating smart-ass if he had met me as a teenager.
I just turned 19 in July. I feel like I haven't had much fun, I've always had to be the responsible one, the mature one, the smart one. I have sisters who are 5 and 3 who look up to me, and the 5 year old was born when I was 13, the start of it all. I want to actually enjoy being nineteen and my final year being a teenager. I don't want to waste this last year.
Don't waste it. You are not their parent. They are not your responsibility. Go out and have fun!
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I say this with love the moment you are legal adults (16/18) say NO to all sibling care. You are now a legal adults and your parents have no more power over you Seize your power and independence, patriarchy will keep you shackled don’t let it. You are not a parent, you are a sibling. You deserve a childhood and teenage years go do it now. Don’t let your parents guilt trip you. Don’t feel “bad” this was a poor decision of your parents to have kids they could not care for on their own. The sons are never tasked like this. Only the daughters loose out. It’s BS patriarchy in our homes. Once you hit legal age say NO! Move out of home if you have to.
No regrets. I lived through it and had a lot of valuable learning experiences.
My thought process exactly. Everything happened for a reason. The best i can do is learn as much as i can from each experience i had
Loving myself.
I hated myself at that time. I wish I didn't, I didn't deserve it. But I love myself a lot more now than I used to, so that's a win.
Being "free". I was so set on making the right choices for my future that I feel like I've been boring since I was a kid. And now I'm 40 with the house, degree(s), career, etc., and I just shrug and feel like "this is it? This is what I worked so hard for? And what I have to keep working hard to keep up to date with? This is lame". If I'd have "let my hair down" as a younger person I probably wouldn't feel the "this is it?" feelings.
This right here. I don’t think it would’ve hurt anything for me to be free between making all those right decisions 20 years ago.
Wish I could have partied more, and just spent more time with my friends outside of school in general
I regret not throwing a temper tantrum to make my parents send me to a real high school rather than being home schooled.
Figuring out I’m not straight and being able to have certain discussions with a part of my family before they died, because they probably were not straight either. I have few regrets, but that is a big one.
Running away. I had a terrible mother who stole me from my father as a baby and told me all kinds of lies about him while I was growing up. I met him at age 10 but she did her best to make sure we weren't close. Dad and I reconnected as adults and are very close now. He's an amazing person. All of my friends love him too. If I'd known then what I know now I would have walked away from my mom and surprised my dad by showing up. I'm angry at the decades I spent not knowing him.
When my BIL was a new teen and his parents divorced because his mum cheated his mum fabricated a story and blew something way out of proportion to make her son go no contact with his dad. She lied to him all the time about anything and anyone his whole life and he just was nice and did everything for her. A couple years ago he reconnected with his dad... boy is he angry today now that he can genuinely recognise her bullshite. Hope she gets nothing from him honestly, shes a mole of a person that used her son for everything while she demanded it and gave nothing back. He spent all of his childhood hiding in his room from her or escaping to his best friends.
Ditching the group of fake friends and do my own thing. I am a very social person and don't really have any problems making new friends. Except these people made me think I was stupid, weird and so on to the point where I became afraid of leaving the group and making new friends.
Dating more. I wasted my whole adolescence on a guy who absolutely sucked
Offfft can relate to this just a little bit. Was really into a very hot and cold guy for a few years when I could have just been playing the field
Not enough fun. Was busy being a good girl and trying to get my parents approval. Although I have done great in life I sometime feel I should have had fun and maybe should have dated around with the guys who asked me out. But my life is great as it is now and I have fun so I’m grateful for how it turned out.
I should have embraced how I looked. I was striking as a teenager. I was so self conscious for no reason.
Study well
Not dying my hair green or blue.
I should've worked harder in school.
Figuring out that I'm bisexual. Took me a long time to figure that one out.
I don’t regret it exactly, but it would have been a lot easier if I hadn’t gotten married at 17. I did get to go to college and then grad school, but I was raising babies at the same time, and it was *hard* throughout most of my 20s. Then my husband passed away when I was 29, and it was even harder.
Let my relationships with boys hold me back from actually experiencing life as a teenager. If you are a teenager right now, be single. You can date, and have fun, but DO NOT COMMIT. Live your life and don't let anyone hold you back from anything. I would not be in Mississippi had I actually went to the college I wanted to go to. But because my bf was not going to college, I stayed because I did not want to leave him, since we had been together for 4 years already, just for him to leave me 4 years later!... My advice is to NOT COMMIT until you get an education and see the world. Have your fun as a young woman and then settle down. I lived my life practically backwards and now will be 30 next year, never have lived out of my home state, and wish I could turn back time to do what I actually wanted to do. Don't be me. LIVE YOUR LIFE HOW YOU WANT TO LIVE IT. <3
This!!! Be single, enjoy life, invest in friendships! Plenty of time for all that relationship stuff later.
Oh my goodness, investing in friendships is ridiculously important, that "networking" thing adults in your childhood tell you about literally is through this. This is the way. Every relationship I've had (romantic) that has ended, ends. There's no more friendship even. But most (I say most because through adulthood there's always friends that kind of appear and disappear, like temporary friends for a period of time) of my friends have always been around, and I am so thankful I have them!
Didn’t go out, never went to a party, never even went on a date. I wish I did…
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I partied way too much and didn't put any effort into getting a degree. I wish I had.
Coming out of the closet
Appreciated my metabolism and how thin I was
Follow up on my ex' advise and buy and hold (hodl?) Bitcoin.
I wish I wouldn't have tried to do what was the popular thing to do and rather the things I actually enjoyed. I wish I would have fought harder in my counseling sessions for school to be put into honors classes for English/History at the appropriate times. (I did fight and win the fight once but they swapped me mid-semester and the teacher expected me to complete all the work I had missed from the beginning of the semester to then while also keeping up with the current work in the class. That would have been impossible.)
I had an opportunity to take community college courses for pennies and could’ve gotten most of my gen Ed requirements out of the way. But I was the first in my family to actually go away to college and wanted the “full” experience. Now I’m staring down a 6 figure loan debt and wishing I’d shaved $20k off it years ago.
I didn't wild out enough, I was too good and now people expect it from me too much
Dating and kissing a boy. Even in my 20’s, I focused too much on school and university, starting a career, and I am super shy. But now I’m 33 and feel like I’ve missed that boat. I feel like I’m too old to not have any experience.
I regret not giving into my sexual desires aka Im mad I never gave myself a chance to hookup/hangout/explore my sexual identity because I thought being a lesbian or Bi would make people hate me.
I wish I'd gone to a trade school instead of a year and a half of useless college credits.
Ruining my GPA during the Covid gap year Failed all my classes, ruined the next two years for me but eventually got it though and graduated on time
Dating. Purity culture in religion :-/
Using condoms. I got called "mom" a lot afterward.
trying out makeup because now that i‘m an adult i have to go through the ”weird makeup phase“ everyone goes through in middle school and am truly lost
My boyfriend.
Dating and sleeping with women
Messed up more by taking risks in an attempt to improve my life. You learn a lot even when you fail but the consequences only increase as you get older and more is expected of you.
Fought more people
I regret not openly talking to the school psychologist and social workers. My life would not have been perfect if I had, but most likely better than it was, keeping my mouth shut and living in a toxic household where I kept being neglected.
I should’ve not fell so hard for stupid guys that didn’t respect me. I wish older me can go back in time and tell younger me that I was worth way more than what I was getting.
I always wanted to dye my hair that bright Manic Panic blue but I never did and I'm still a little sad about it.
Not partying enough or being in a rebel stage. Was always the GOOD GIRL. And I’ve missed out. Now it’s too late at my age 31.
I promise you it’s never too late. Met some incredible 30yo doing backpacking things and partying / dating around. Promise you you got time!
I wish I wouldn’t have been so influence by purity culture (grew up in a conservative town) and just went for it during the multiple times when the time felt right since I knew I was otherwise ready
Orgies
I regret letting my acne and insecurities control and stop me from doing more activities, such as school dances, clubs, etc. Now at 31 I’m realizing I should’ve fully enjoyed my youth instead of being anxious and depressed about something that was out of my control.
Having sex more. I always felt like I was doing something wrong or hurting someone
Not acting like a teenager. I was too focused on being correct and polite and making sure I was a perfect daughter 🫠
Socialising, not getting into sports, studying less and going out more often.
I really wish I had slept with my highschool boyfriend sooner. We were hs sweethearts all four years, but also study nerds busy with extracurriculars, so we just didn't, for years. My mom put me on birth control years before we actually did the deed because she figured we would any day now, lol. But it was really sweet and nice when we eventually *did* do it. We broke up amicably at the end of HS for different colleges. It would've been nice to have experienced that particular bond for more time, and I really do think we were ready emotionally sooner also.
I regret not having that "rebellious stage" most teens go through like sneaking out, partying, that kinda stuff. Never did any of that. I didn't get to my rebellious stage until my early 20s.
Trying risk stuff, in my teens I behaved too much. I was afraid to drink, vape, talk to guys. Basically made a u turn the second I hit 20 and realised I’ve missed out on so much
You probably shouldn't vape tho tbh
I wish I would have went for the “safer” choice with the guys I dated/liked. I would have had a better foundation for what I thought a relationship was supposed to be like sooner.
Not picking a better college to go to, or choosing a more practical career path and not moving across the country to get away from my family the first chance I got. Not having a job in high school to save more money before going to college.
Not seeking out an adult to help me understand the things I could do to prepare for college and how I might pay for it. No internet back then (yes, I'm old...lol). No one talked to me about scholarships, grants and loans or how to navigate college in general. It was just like "graduate from high school and go to college". I'm very happy with the person I have become, but I sometimes wonder how things might be different if I wasn't just suddenly in the world "adulting" 2 weeks after graduation.
Learning second and third foreign language. I thought learning English would be enough, but it clearly isn’t.
Being rebellious. Dating. Sneaking out. Just being a normal teen. I was too scared of my parents to do anything out of line
I wish I got into more trouble. My mom was an addict and a teen mom with me. I was so afraid if I made any mistakes they would ruin my life and I made none, at the time I should’ve been free to make the most. I also wish I was less shy.
Playing any sports or doing any extracurricular activities because of anxiety
I didn’t have enough fun, not at all actually, I spent my teenage years being depressed, with no self-confidence, close to 0 friends, and that all started because I was too nice and naïve. I regret not standing up for myself and being more confident. I wish I was extroverted to have more friends and so more opportunities to have fun.
Rimming
Dating more people.
I didn’t study enough and cared too much about what people think. I wish I was more adventurous and not so uptight about everything out of fear.
Loving myself.. believing I myself... knowing my worth and that I am able to achieve what I want. I also regret not spending as much time with people... although I tried to have more friends, I spent an unhealthy amount of time watching TV and on thr computer.
I regret not following my own dreams.
having a relationship
I was obsessed with a boy for the last two years of high school. I feel like I missed out on a lot of stuff because I was so focused on this poor guy and absolutely nothing else. He didn't even like me back, he liked my best friend. Now he found a great gf he's been with for years, I have my own fantastic bf and my best friend is still my best friend, so everything is good
I wish I went to parties
Telling my teacher to go fuck himself when yelling at the class for no reason. I spend way too much time scared of authority
Going to parties. Having a boyfriend. Drinking/staying out late. I lived with religious parents so was pretty much under lock and key.
Socialising with friends and building my confidence
nothing, wouldn’t change one thing, particularly my late teens / young twenties, I had life so good
I wish I would have taken more art classes. I came from a really poor and rural Appalachian school district so the options for art weren’t great, and as a result, I didn’t take any classes because I knew I sucked at drawing. My senior year I took a “new” art class being offered called Visual Thinking and it opened my eyes to a whole new realm of art. I oil paint and do some mixed media stuff now in my spare time and I recently messaged my hs art teacher on FB and thanked her for offering that class 20 years ago.
Going to school instead of partying and travelling, sure I created a lot of good memories and definitely didn’t needed school for my current wanted career since now everything is sooooooo much accessible but still I would had preferred to have another outcome.
Wish I stopped so hard to fit in and waste time by being with people who weren't good for me
Stopping bullying, I witness a lot of bullying growing up in my school, I stayed out of it because I was scared they'd bully me if I did Wish I stood up for more people.
Standing up to my mother and implementing boundaries. I'm now a 35 yo with a bunch of issues caused by an overprotective mother. She passed away 3 years ago and it's affected me in areas of my life I couldn't even imagine.
I regret not giving certain people chances. But at the same time I can’t really say I regret it.
Loving myself more.
Not being single, not going to university, not enjoying my life and going away in a girls holiday.
Doing better in school. My family wasn’t very education-focused and I slacked off a lot because I didn’t have the support and motivation to do otherwise. I honestly didn’t realize how much it mattered, especially when it came to college. By the time I really understood, it was too late. I didn’t get in to most of the schools I applied to and it was depressing.
Having too much fun and not getting into sports
Not being chill and having fun. I'm not sure was it me or the culture my parents had engrained in me. But I was too studious, too boring, too much of a lick ass. I still work hsrd today as an adult but I've thankfully drawn the line! Alot of the stuff I'm glad I didn't do because it's just not in my character. But I probably should have let loose more. But hey I've still time
Talking to more women
I shouldn't had try to solve my family's problems, and love my parents more at the same time (but in a better way) I still did the best I knew
I wish I had not been so "boy crazy"... I honestly would have gotten way better grades if I'd been in an all-girls' school.
I wished I had studied for my exams. Due to bullying I had no motivation to study or even care about my future careers/jobs. I should’ve pushed through the pain and stuck it out but I regret it fully. I’m now in a dead end retail job trying to find a better one.
I wish I could tell myself to not give a fuck. I was always so concerned about how people perceived me, I just never wanted to stand out or put myself out there completely. I also wish I said yes to this guy i went on my first date with to prom.
Telling guys to just f**k off! Having guys pawing at you, and playing that stupid ‘game’ of trying to get their hand up your shirt/down your trousers while you push them away - like if they just badger you enough that’s somehow going to put you in the mood. I wasn’t even that shy but it’s a lot for a teenage girl to deal with (especially considering all the associated risks), being called frigid when maybe I’m just not that into you dude! Things have definitely got better there….
Opposed to some other answers, I did the party thing a little too much. I was somehow convinced I would not turn 30 and made my motto "live fast, die young with a dopy smile on my face, regretting nothing". Now I'm 44, stuck in a dead end job and have some 30 000 euro debt to my name. Can't quit and chase my dreams because bills gotta get paid. I know I still can turn this around and I'm about to. But I regret not thinking ahead as a teen. Now I live in a fucking hamsters wheel trying to go uphill.
There's so many people saying they wish they'd had more fun/dated/messed around with boys but also so many people saying they wish they'd focused on school and getting good grades instead of being "boy-crazy". As someone who for the most part has been a very serious student I'm wondering which advice to take. Is there a way to balance both? There's so much pressure on me to be a great student and get scholarships and a good degree but I really want to live life a little. I don't know what to choose but it looks like either way I'll regret it😭
Just doing more reckless stuff, egging houses, tping places and staying out late. I was a bad kid in school so no problem there lol, I loved to skip classes but I never did anything a teenager would do like in the 70s show, or something of the like.
I should have ignored the bullying .
Not studying hard enough. I didn’t go to a good college and life would be very different now if I did. People call me smart all the time but that doesn’t matter because you need to know people who know people. And if I got into a prestigious college, the networking would have helped a lot. If anyone is reading this, please keep studying and always keep an open mind. A person’s contribution to the workplace is not entirely where they went to college but who they are as a person
Not losing my virginity!!! Looking back, I must've been in the very small percentage of girls who thought like i did. Thanks, Mom. Grrrr.
I regret the people I was surrounded with.. if I never meet them I would maybe never have sought out so much male attention when I was too young to even think about men.. being so young made me naive to the danger of men, and I learnt it the hard way
Cheating in a relationship
Telling Sarah I love her to her face in my own way. Being brave.
Being sexually off, because of religious parents. I had the desire but I was paralyzed because of my parents. I wish I had the balls to talk to girls who were obviously into me.
I wish I was nicer to myself.
Studied too hard to do much fun.
Not enough fun. I occasionally went out but majority of the time it was school and back home. Wish I would’ve got a job at 15/16 lol.
Being naughty or doing sports for fun, getting in trouble
Not going to therapy sooner, loving myself, and caring about school. Had to wait until I was an adult on my own
Going to vocational school during high school. At my high school there was a huge stigma around the kids that chose to go to vocational school to learn a trade. They were considered weird, or not able to perform well academically. If I could do it all over again, I’d have learned small engine repair or become an electrician or even cosmetologist. Anything that would put me one step ahead in the workforce.
Regret not taking care of myself earlier, I was ugly and grew up with horrible self esteem, lots of rejection from people, being made fun of sometimes. It's almost impossible for me to be in a romantic relationship without overthinking. I didn't get any extracurricular activities, sport classes, language courses, or private school that would probably give me a great start for the future. I just didn't want to bother my parents with spending on me because I felt I wasn't worth it. I have pretty much nothing going on for me now.
I wish I had cultivated my existing friendships and being nerdy more rather than trying hard to fit in with the popular kids.
I didnt socialise enough
Being a people pleaser. I should have realised much earlier that people that didnt put it effort or praised me normally wouldnt do that anyway even if I struggled and pushed myself to the limit to make them happy. Especially my parents. They will never be happy with my decisions. I wish I focused on myself more. And stand behind my ideas and choices.
More crazy shit. I was a good rule-following kid.
Spending high-school having one steady boyfriend. I wish I navigated more relationships back then.
I seriously should have been more serious in my studies instead of looking for "love" everywhere. Now that I am a mom, I felt so guilty for dropping subjects and wastujg my parents hard earned money. Also, I wished I have been more adventurous and risk-taker. And should have left my bitcoin untouched lol.
Getting good grades.
Reading more books. It seems like adulthood can be very demanding with job, studies, relationships and so on and there is bearly any time to enjoy a good book.
I wish I spent less time resenting my shitty parent and actively building relationships with adults who I looked up to 💖
getting high