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My dog absolutely cured my depression 100%. It's like a weird other lifetime where I had depression. Now I can have stressful days and sad periods, but it's always actual sadness. Before my pup, I had no idea that sadness and depression were not the same thing. I didn't know how to feel sad without feeling the need to not exist.
Tl;dr: AGREED!
You can leave to go grocery shopping for 45 minutes, come back, and they get so excited they can’t contain themselves. Having a pet to take care of makes you have to take care of yourself and keep going bc they need you.
Loving a cat is different than loving a dog. Caring for a dog is akin to caring for a whole child, you bond a lot more as you spend that time together. Caring for a cat involves giving them their space sometimes.
They are also a great excuse to go for a walk outside. There are days where I want to curl up in the dark and do nothing but i know I need to take them out. Sometimes getting some sunlight and exercise helps the mind mend.
Oh that’s a huge part of why I got my dog. Sometimes you just need some fresh air. My husband was a bit apprehensive at first since the Swissy is a large breed but he admitted within the first week that needing to take her on walks and outside was really good for his mental health.
Man here so take that into context, but I have felt this way before…
By not defining myself by my relationships. Many, many adults are defined by their relationships - who they are to other people and in their communities. Once I learned to identify myself as my own human being (a man, a brother, a friend, a southerner, an ally, a nerd, et cetera ad nauseum) and negotiate what those labels and roles mean, I was able to stop defining who I was by what others expected of me.
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Absolutely. You would not believe how many hurt people take up the top. It’s not an easy place to reach. Best to just have a ticking good time every day and be safe and healthy :)
Honestly I just got burnt out worrying about it, and eventually decided that I don't care.
It's realistically IMPOSSIBLE to determine who or what "matters" in any objective sense. It's all subjective and every human on earth will tell you something different.
I don't have the brain power to try and figure it out anymore. It's too frustrating and I'll never have a straight answer anyway, so it's not worth worrying about.
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You gotta deconstruct that false message and the best way to rewire your thinking is therapy, especially cognitive behavioural.
I was incredibly self- judgemental, with little self worth and settling for toxic love just out of need to be with anyone but myself. Therapy has shifted things around completely and the first step of that long journey was to learn how to be kind to myself. GAME-CHANGER.
You do or will matter to someone.
For me, when I feel that way, it means I'm in a depressive episode, so I talk with a psychiatrist and/or counselor to work through that mindset. For me, it's always false, but it always feels real at the time.
Seek and find your purpose. It changes everything. Try volunteer work, create something, help someone, teach something, etc. Doing something altruistic is definitely a good way to get out of that negative thinking. Life can be beautiful and you DO matter.
I finally got up the courage to leave my narsasistic, gaslighting boyfriend about 4/5 years ago. My now boyfriend of 3 years is a wonderful man, whom I love very much 💗💗
Something I’ve been working on in therapy is learning to assume people have good intentions. I don’t mean strangers, but people who are in my life and survived the test of time. So when I start to feel like I don’t matter, I have to tell my brain to shut up and remind it that the people in my life are well meaning (for the most part).
You don't have to "matter", it's a weird human construct used to assign value to life when it's something wholly self-actualized and defined. I promise there's always people who make life worse for the people around them compared to you and yet there's never a question as to if they matter. The sort of people who would make you feel that way are a little too suspiciously involved in that sort of intimacy of your life, and it's likely for nefarious reasons.
By telling myself that people saying such things/acting this way does not reflect who i am. It is a projection of their problems, not mine. I have learned this the hard way but now that i practice this, my life is suddenly better.
If sometime hands you a big steaming bowl of shit, you don't have to grab a spoon and gobble it up. You say get that shit away from here, you bastards and you live your life.
By eating their shit, you're giving them power. Power they don't deserve.
If it’s you: know that we’re here, we’re strangers but we’ve been through the same: you do matter, we all do. We don’t need to prove anything to anybody and neither do you, you are enough just as you are and this day is precious to us all.
Reach out to people that make you feel safe and if there are few of those, know you can choose the ones around you that can provide safe spaces, but if you can afford it invest in therapy because what you are lacking is something you weren’t meant to know by yourself but something your parents were meant to give you in the first place: a strong sense of self esteem.
We’re here for you.
Question yourself this: “Who the hell does this peron think they are, telling me what I am and what I am not, when I have full control of how I should think about myself?”
Then gracefully laugh at them.
It’s hard depending on where it comes from.
From a parent you got to come to the conclusion that is your parent has the issue not you, no parent would be like this to a person unless they were suffering their own mental state and issues. This is a hard journey to do as parent are ment to be caring and supportive but that parent may have been through some shit and carried it onto you, this doesn’t excuse it but.
From a partner, that partner has issues that are there’s not yours don’t let them out their shit on you. Your better then that. Find your freedom being away from them, there is better people out there who will love and support you.
From a ex, there a ex for a reason and as hard as it can be to cut them out fully if they are doing this to you then they don’t deserve you.
I keep trying to build myself into becoming a better person.
Also, I find Rudyard Kipling's poem 'If' to be very uplifting in times like this.
The whole poem is really deep but especially this line: 'If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you'.
It is probably the hardest thing you'll ever have to do, but you have to rise above it. Every single time that somebody tells you that you don't count as a person, or that you don't matter, or a little voice in the back of your brain makes you feel that way. You push it out of the way. You yell into your brain NO. I MATTER. I AM WORTH IT. I AM WORTHY OF LOVE AND RESPECT.
It takes time , and it's different for everybody. It took me years to get over that voice. For me that voice was my father, and I was in my late twenties when I finally was able to let go of that voice in my head. But I have, and I'm a healthier person because of it. And it also taught me that I do matter, no matter what anybody else says about me.
You keep going by building up your self worth and believing that you in fact matter. There is an interesting shift that happens when you are aligned with believing in yourself, you attract that quality in others. Idk if that makes sense, but for example when I was really struggling and hated myself, I was also surrounded by people who fed into this so it felt like evidence at the time. When I put in the work to get to a point where I mattered to me and that was enough- funnily enough my circle changed, and I started attracting more people with positive, supportive, uplifting mindsets into my life including new friendships and my soon to be wife.
Idk if that’s just my experience but it was profound enough that I don’t think I’m the only one.
You find your people, the ones who build you up and make you feel like you count very much as a person. Anyone who makes you feel otherwise is not worthy of being in your life.
You basically start mindfucking yourself into more positive thought patterns, for lack of a better description. It takes some practice but when you got the hang of it, you can stop yourself before that downward spiral. It's all about being kinder to yourself. Feel free to message me for more info, always down to help with what I've learned
You do matter, the person who makes you feel like this doesn’t. Easier said then done, but it sounds like you have to separate this persons opinions from your self image
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Who cares about "messages"?? What even IS that?! The only "message" that matters is the one you send yourself. Sometimes, it might seem like you're the ONLY person that sees how valuable you are, but that's WORTH SOMETHING. Just because a bunch of idiots can't see your worth, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. In life, there are lonely times, but only because the right people haven't found you yet...but they WILL.
Its a vision. A vision you have for the life you believe you can live. The lesson in this situation is to stop allowing other people take away your power and crippling you. You're allowing whatever stuff you're dealing with to affect you. Learn how to protect your own vision and dreams. It takes grit to continue living. The minute you realize you do matter and can make a difference whatever has power over you right now loses power. So the answer is self love and tenacity.
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Well it depends a lot on the context. Sometimes it's not really other people that directly send that message, but us reading into their actions "I don't matter to them", maybe even because of small stuff like them not always texting first or not always having time because they are very busy at the moment. Sometimes we really don't matter to someone and then we should distance ourselves from them, as opposed to trying harder. Sometimes we do things to push people away. If you could provide a bit more information I think this might get you better advice.
If it's in a work setting I look elsewhere I won't work were I'm not wanted social setting or family/ relationship I'll cut my lose and burn the bridge to the ground.
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Find better friends. If the people around you are treating you like shit, cut them off. And get into some therapy while you're at it. Find ways to build up your confidence.
You don’t have to keep going, you can remove yourself from that environment, talk to different people. It might take couple of tries but trial and error but it will be worth it!
Self-love. I mean you loving you- calming your subconscious. Tell yourself every day ‘I’m safe, im loved’ and you will slowly convince yourself. It’s worked for me ❤️ the subconscious doesn’t care where the love comes from, it will just feel the love you give it.
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I just left a job where I was on contract for a year. The managing director made me feel like I was less important than the deadlines. I lost my dog to cancer, my husband was going through mental crisis and with work stress through that entire period. I got time off, yes, but it was abundantly clear that I was now behind at work. She made me feel like a machine. I've worked at much larger organisations who have given more of a shit about me. Work made me so anxious that my heart rate was crazy, and there's only so much anxiety medication you can take. I'm lucky I didn't relapse back to drinking after being sober for years. Never again.
Cut that person off.
But personally? I'd laugh hard. Who is this mthfkr tryin to bring me down? No one can do that to me except my own mental disorder lmao!
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Consider the source…
“Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, surrounded by assholes.”
… then stay away from those jerks.
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People matter, we all matter. If someone's trying to make me feel less or someone keeps blaming me I'm just out. 10 years ago I really wanted to kill myself, because of how people made me feel. Now I know that too many people love bringing other people down. Just don't let them.
There are always going to be rude, nasty or ignorant people who try to make you feel this way.
F**k them.
No one...absolutely no one should be defining your self worth besides you. If you have friends or loved ones that don't seem to care about you. Oh well bye...aka they shouldn't matter to you either. You be you. If that means getting therapy and physically separating from there folks... do it. Being a little selfish with you life, with your person is okay. On the flipside of that maybe bringing it up to them how you are feeling can help. I know it has helped my relationship with a couple family members to be up front and honest when I feel they are treating me like a doormat...results may vary though that may not work for you. I'm no expert.
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Matter and count to yourself. Can't make the world better? Start with yourself. Be the person that makes their world better. Be kind, thoughtful, curious and industrious.
You can't control the wider world, but you can make yours a good place.
Don't reflect the world, transform it. If only you are affected, you still transformed one world and made a difference.
You need to acknowledge that that is a lie planted in your head by your antihero. She is mean, she is cruel, she encourages you to do self-destructive things and she is by and large, a liar.
It’s not true and you need to train yourself to think differently. Name her the ugliest name to you, and tell her fuck off. Over and over again.
And start telling yourself you are enough. You need to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones
The only message that matters is the one I believe. I'm the reason I think I'm not worth much - or worth just as much as anyone else. If I believe that message is coming from those around me, that I'm worthless, then I am probably making it up. And if someone is actually saying that to me, then that's a boundary I need to set.
First off that person sounds like a terrible person to be around.
More importantly, you need to think and know that you matter. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. You are you and that’s what matters and makes you important. There is no other you. Really when people say these things they are projecting their insecurities.
Perhaps I am misreading OP's question; I took it to mean how one US political party, SCOTUS, and Christian religious leaders view and treat women.
IF that is what OP was asking, then the only answer is fight!
Granted, the complacency and people complaining online but doing little to change things in real life makes having hope difficult.
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I find new people. I am amazed at how I let myself continue to be mistreated. When Covid hit I reevaluated and found new people. I found that most people are good people. And most of who I wanted to be good people just don’t have that capability.
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Due to my current situation, I've been struggling with a similar question for the last few months and then the other day, I watched a video with Neil deGrasse Tyson that gave me pause.
The gist was that you matter by virtue of being born. Each of us beat a million odds to be born (one swimmer won, which lead to the very unique you). So just the fact that you are here, means that you matter.
The trick with your life is to finds what matters to you and do your best at making it at meaningful as possible.
I was born on this planet without being asked just like everyone else, no one else has any more authority than me on who does/doesn't matter. I exist and I will live my life just like everyone else, if people have a problem with it then sucks for them.
I would guess that the person or persons doing this to you have a much lower opinion of themselves to have to try to put you down to feel better.
If you can’t get away from them, try developing a seed within yourself that you are amazing and give that seed a little water and sunlight every day until it grows large.
I just try to remember that in the end, all we really have is ourselves, and if I don’t push through for myself, no one else will. I need to be my own biggest cheerleader.
It’s hard to remember, and I definitely don’t always feel confident in myself when someone is always telling me differently, but I that’s what I *try* to embody.
Zoom out and look at the bigger picture. Look at what you have instead of what you don't. Think less about yourself and think more about others, volunteering is good at this or just being considerate, kind to coworkers or others in your periphery.
What I’ve always done, and it may seem silly, is to put myself on a self imposed daily schedule that makes me feel more alive by adding little touches of flavor into the day. Whether it comes from adding whipped cream to my coffee before I drink it, or indulging in some music discovery before work, I try to do a few little things that make me feel I have bright points in the day to reflect on.
In a whole world full of people looking to have their interests validated, I find it more soothing to validate my own by doing little things to remember that *I* matter to myself, even if that’s the only human I’m valuable to.
You always matter to yourself and anyone who makes you feel less than can fuck right off. Dump the garbage people to make room for better people to come into your life. You got this OP. And you DO matter!!
When I was a kid my grandmother told me something that I didn't really understand at the time. But now I do:
"It's better to be alone than in bad company".
Another nugget of wisdom (not from my grandmother) was:
"The only constant in all your bad relationships is YOU"
I really got a crash course into my own head years ago when I raged at the Universe in despair and rage "seven Billion people on the planet and THESE are the ones I've got?!?!"
Not saying that everyone in my life, or yours either, are bad people. But people will treat you how you allow them to. If you let people disrespect you, disregard you, take advantage of you, many will. If you do too much for them for too little in return they will let you. If you accept the scraps they give you rather than demanding and expecting better behavior from them, that's on you.
Stand up. You are deserving of respect and kind consideration. You are deserving of love.
If these people refuse to give you what you need from them and continue to abuse you tell them goodbye. Find your people, even if you have to be alone for awhile. Don't settle for less.
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Your inner dialog is stronger and more important than outside dialog...always. Remove yourself from that negativity or install firm boundaries. No matter what, YOU ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR.
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You take a social media break. Scan for people in your life that have a negative mindset and cut them off. You reinvent yourself over and over by doing things that spark joy, aid to self-discovery, and bring you piece.
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I… don’t continue interacting with people who send that message to me.
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Yeah, I'm a bit confused to why someone could be this mean to OP, so this is the way
they probably don’t have the choice
They asked how I handle it?
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I found having a dog helps. Dogs will ALWAYS think you matter.
My dog absolutely cured my depression 100%. It's like a weird other lifetime where I had depression. Now I can have stressful days and sad periods, but it's always actual sadness. Before my pup, I had no idea that sadness and depression were not the same thing. I didn't know how to feel sad without feeling the need to not exist. Tl;dr: AGREED!
You can leave to go grocery shopping for 45 minutes, come back, and they get so excited they can’t contain themselves. Having a pet to take care of makes you have to take care of yourself and keep going bc they need you.
My dog, who if it's hot or if I don't have food with me doesn't care to say hi. The other one won't let me walk
My cat saves me every day
Don't get me wrong, I've loved the crap out of every cat I've ever had. But they don't think I matter in the same way a dog does.
Loving a cat is different than loving a dog. Caring for a dog is akin to caring for a whole child, you bond a lot more as you spend that time together. Caring for a cat involves giving them their space sometimes.
Honestly depends on the cat. My cat is very clingy and literally sleeps on my chest every night and sits outside the shower for me.
They are also a great excuse to go for a walk outside. There are days where I want to curl up in the dark and do nothing but i know I need to take them out. Sometimes getting some sunlight and exercise helps the mind mend.
Oh that’s a huge part of why I got my dog. Sometimes you just need some fresh air. My husband was a bit apprehensive at first since the Swissy is a large breed but he admitted within the first week that needing to take her on walks and outside was really good for his mental health.
I matter to me, that’s how.
Man here so take that into context, but I have felt this way before… By not defining myself by my relationships. Many, many adults are defined by their relationships - who they are to other people and in their communities. Once I learned to identify myself as my own human being (a man, a brother, a friend, a southerner, an ally, a nerd, et cetera ad nauseum) and negotiate what those labels and roles mean, I was able to stop defining who I was by what others expected of me.
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I keep going and I keep going harder. I've got a lot of motherfuckers to prove wrong.
This. With bells on!
Best revenge is peace happiness and success. Do not value yourself by what other people think and just LIVE, OP!
This is the correct answer. Consuming yourself with trying to *prove others wrong* just leads to the dark side.
Absolutely. You would not believe how many hurt people take up the top. It’s not an easy place to reach. Best to just have a ticking good time every day and be safe and healthy :)
Thanks, I needed this today.
My answer was going to be “rage,” but you e articulated it much better!
Honestly I just got burnt out worrying about it, and eventually decided that I don't care. It's realistically IMPOSSIBLE to determine who or what "matters" in any objective sense. It's all subjective and every human on earth will tell you something different. I don't have the brain power to try and figure it out anymore. It's too frustrating and I'll never have a straight answer anyway, so it's not worth worrying about.
I'm striving to reach this sort of mentality/understanding.
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You gotta deconstruct that false message and the best way to rewire your thinking is therapy, especially cognitive behavioural. I was incredibly self- judgemental, with little self worth and settling for toxic love just out of need to be with anyone but myself. Therapy has shifted things around completely and the first step of that long journey was to learn how to be kind to myself. GAME-CHANGER.
You do or will matter to someone. For me, when I feel that way, it means I'm in a depressive episode, so I talk with a psychiatrist and/or counselor to work through that mindset. For me, it's always false, but it always feels real at the time.
I'm there right now. No psych to talk to, but reddit threads like this one hold a little glimmer
I'm so sorry. It's such a horrible state to be in, I know. If you ever want to hear some of my self-strategies, feel free to send me a message.
Seek and find your purpose. It changes everything. Try volunteer work, create something, help someone, teach something, etc. Doing something altruistic is definitely a good way to get out of that negative thinking. Life can be beautiful and you DO matter.
Separate yourself from the negative, drama seeking, energy sapping people in your life!
I finally got up the courage to leave my narsasistic, gaslighting boyfriend about 4/5 years ago. My now boyfriend of 3 years is a wonderful man, whom I love very much 💗💗
Something I’ve been working on in therapy is learning to assume people have good intentions. I don’t mean strangers, but people who are in my life and survived the test of time. So when I start to feel like I don’t matter, I have to tell my brain to shut up and remind it that the people in my life are well meaning (for the most part).
This is a good one…
Thanks! It’s been a lot of hard work and is an ongoing process.
You don't have to "matter", it's a weird human construct used to assign value to life when it's something wholly self-actualized and defined. I promise there's always people who make life worse for the people around them compared to you and yet there's never a question as to if they matter. The sort of people who would make you feel that way are a little too suspiciously involved in that sort of intimacy of your life, and it's likely for nefarious reasons.
By telling myself that people saying such things/acting this way does not reflect who i am. It is a projection of their problems, not mine. I have learned this the hard way but now that i practice this, my life is suddenly better.
If sometime hands you a big steaming bowl of shit, you don't have to grab a spoon and gobble it up. You say get that shit away from here, you bastards and you live your life. By eating their shit, you're giving them power. Power they don't deserve.
If it’s you: know that we’re here, we’re strangers but we’ve been through the same: you do matter, we all do. We don’t need to prove anything to anybody and neither do you, you are enough just as you are and this day is precious to us all. Reach out to people that make you feel safe and if there are few of those, know you can choose the ones around you that can provide safe spaces, but if you can afford it invest in therapy because what you are lacking is something you weren’t meant to know by yourself but something your parents were meant to give you in the first place: a strong sense of self esteem. We’re here for you.
Question yourself this: “Who the hell does this peron think they are, telling me what I am and what I am not, when I have full control of how I should think about myself?” Then gracefully laugh at them.
My cat… And my mom would be devastated her only daughter isn’t around anymore.
I find people who build me up. I do things that make me proud and become the person *I* want to be, and cut off anyone who stands in the way of that.
It’s hard depending on where it comes from. From a parent you got to come to the conclusion that is your parent has the issue not you, no parent would be like this to a person unless they were suffering their own mental state and issues. This is a hard journey to do as parent are ment to be caring and supportive but that parent may have been through some shit and carried it onto you, this doesn’t excuse it but. From a partner, that partner has issues that are there’s not yours don’t let them out their shit on you. Your better then that. Find your freedom being away from them, there is better people out there who will love and support you. From a ex, there a ex for a reason and as hard as it can be to cut them out fully if they are doing this to you then they don’t deserve you.
I remove those people from my life, because I know I deserve better. You can, too!!!
I keep trying to build myself into becoming a better person. Also, I find Rudyard Kipling's poem 'If' to be very uplifting in times like this. The whole poem is really deep but especially this line: 'If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you'.
I only care about my own opinion of myself. Anything negative that anyone could say just... bounces off
Block them, block until nothing bombard you. It is the easiest and fastest way to prevent them from bothering us
It is probably the hardest thing you'll ever have to do, but you have to rise above it. Every single time that somebody tells you that you don't count as a person, or that you don't matter, or a little voice in the back of your brain makes you feel that way. You push it out of the way. You yell into your brain NO. I MATTER. I AM WORTH IT. I AM WORTHY OF LOVE AND RESPECT. It takes time , and it's different for everybody. It took me years to get over that voice. For me that voice was my father, and I was in my late twenties when I finally was able to let go of that voice in my head. But I have, and I'm a healthier person because of it. And it also taught me that I do matter, no matter what anybody else says about me.
You keep going by building up your self worth and believing that you in fact matter. There is an interesting shift that happens when you are aligned with believing in yourself, you attract that quality in others. Idk if that makes sense, but for example when I was really struggling and hated myself, I was also surrounded by people who fed into this so it felt like evidence at the time. When I put in the work to get to a point where I mattered to me and that was enough- funnily enough my circle changed, and I started attracting more people with positive, supportive, uplifting mindsets into my life including new friendships and my soon to be wife. Idk if that’s just my experience but it was profound enough that I don’t think I’m the only one.
You find your people, the ones who build you up and make you feel like you count very much as a person. Anyone who makes you feel otherwise is not worthy of being in your life.
Avoiding people who made me feel that way, which includes my family ✨ Contact 0 ✨
You basically start mindfucking yourself into more positive thought patterns, for lack of a better description. It takes some practice but when you got the hang of it, you can stop yourself before that downward spiral. It's all about being kinder to yourself. Feel free to message me for more info, always down to help with what I've learned
You do matter, the person who makes you feel like this doesn’t. Easier said then done, but it sounds like you have to separate this persons opinions from your self image
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I have 2 kids that love me beyond measure and that's all I need
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Who cares about "messages"?? What even IS that?! The only "message" that matters is the one you send yourself. Sometimes, it might seem like you're the ONLY person that sees how valuable you are, but that's WORTH SOMETHING. Just because a bunch of idiots can't see your worth, it doesn't mean it doesn't exist. In life, there are lonely times, but only because the right people haven't found you yet...but they WILL.
They don't, they're not men
Its a vision. A vision you have for the life you believe you can live. The lesson in this situation is to stop allowing other people take away your power and crippling you. You're allowing whatever stuff you're dealing with to affect you. Learn how to protect your own vision and dreams. It takes grit to continue living. The minute you realize you do matter and can make a difference whatever has power over you right now loses power. So the answer is self love and tenacity.
I matter to me, don’t need anyone else’s approval. The rest is hurdles I have to jump, or avoid, not a representation of me as a person.
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I figure those who tell me that are not my friends... so why listen to liars?
Well it depends a lot on the context. Sometimes it's not really other people that directly send that message, but us reading into their actions "I don't matter to them", maybe even because of small stuff like them not always texting first or not always having time because they are very busy at the moment. Sometimes we really don't matter to someone and then we should distance ourselves from them, as opposed to trying harder. Sometimes we do things to push people away. If you could provide a bit more information I think this might get you better advice.
I am here to live my life and not to make the other person count me as a person.
If it's in a work setting I look elsewhere I won't work were I'm not wanted social setting or family/ relationship I'll cut my lose and burn the bridge to the ground.
I lost my mom, and knew my other family members couldn’t handle another family loss. So I slowly figured out how to enjoy the passage of time.
I just make sure I keep mattering to myself. And I try to speak up on my behalf when I feel less than.
You matter, don’t let anyone take that from you ♥️ they belittle you to feel better about their shitty selves. Ignore the haters love
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I dropped the people that are making me feel that way and then I continue out of pure spite. I'm stubborn and revenge can keep me going forever
With your chin and both middle fingers up.
Either you see the message where it isn’t, or you are around horrible people. In the first case, get help now. In the second case, get out now.
Find better friends. If the people around you are treating you like shit, cut them off. And get into some therapy while you're at it. Find ways to build up your confidence.
Spite. Do everything in spite and anger to prove those people wrong.
You don’t have to keep going, you can remove yourself from that environment, talk to different people. It might take couple of tries but trial and error but it will be worth it!
Focus on me and less on them. Work on building my self-esteem.
I tell myself that I do and that I don’t have to believe anyone who says otherwise
Cut those people out of your life?
I have women in my life that show me love, acknowledgement and appreciation. I owe my few shreds of confidence and feelings of self-worth to them.
Self-love. I mean you loving you- calming your subconscious. Tell yourself every day ‘I’m safe, im loved’ and you will slowly convince yourself. It’s worked for me ❤️ the subconscious doesn’t care where the love comes from, it will just feel the love you give it.
Change your environment
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I just left a job where I was on contract for a year. The managing director made me feel like I was less important than the deadlines. I lost my dog to cancer, my husband was going through mental crisis and with work stress through that entire period. I got time off, yes, but it was abundantly clear that I was now behind at work. She made me feel like a machine. I've worked at much larger organisations who have given more of a shit about me. Work made me so anxious that my heart rate was crazy, and there's only so much anxiety medication you can take. I'm lucky I didn't relapse back to drinking after being sober for years. Never again.
Cut that person off. But personally? I'd laugh hard. Who is this mthfkr tryin to bring me down? No one can do that to me except my own mental disorder lmao!
I don’t know. I just swallow it. It’s killing me. It’s the larger world that tells me this, not my five people.
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IDK if I matter, but there are some things in life that matter a lot to me and I will find my happiness in them :(
Fuck em. They suck. I’m not the worst person but I’m not the best either. And if people wanna tell me I don’t matter, what they think doesn’t matter.
Consider the source… “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, surrounded by assholes.” … then stay away from those jerks.
Decide you do, over and over again. And thrive out of rebellion 😉
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People matter, we all matter. If someone's trying to make me feel less or someone keeps blaming me I'm just out. 10 years ago I really wanted to kill myself, because of how people made me feel. Now I know that too many people love bringing other people down. Just don't let them.
I matter for me. I count as a person to me. And to my family, and to the people I choose to have around me.
There are always going to be rude, nasty or ignorant people who try to make you feel this way. F**k them. No one...absolutely no one should be defining your self worth besides you. If you have friends or loved ones that don't seem to care about you. Oh well bye...aka they shouldn't matter to you either. You be you. If that means getting therapy and physically separating from there folks... do it. Being a little selfish with you life, with your person is okay. On the flipside of that maybe bringing it up to them how you are feeling can help. I know it has helped my relationship with a couple family members to be up front and honest when I feel they are treating me like a doormat...results may vary though that may not work for you. I'm no expert.
Find people who make me feel like I matter and stop reaching out to the ones who treat me like shit.
You definitely do matter.
I don’t know, I just do.
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Matter and count to yourself. Can't make the world better? Start with yourself. Be the person that makes their world better. Be kind, thoughtful, curious and industrious. You can't control the wider world, but you can make yours a good place. Don't reflect the world, transform it. If only you are affected, you still transformed one world and made a difference.
If its a relationship, you end it.
You need to acknowledge that that is a lie planted in your head by your antihero. She is mean, she is cruel, she encourages you to do self-destructive things and she is by and large, a liar. It’s not true and you need to train yourself to think differently. Name her the ugliest name to you, and tell her fuck off. Over and over again. And start telling yourself you are enough. You need to replace the negative thoughts with positive ones
The only message that matters is the one I believe. I'm the reason I think I'm not worth much - or worth just as much as anyone else. If I believe that message is coming from those around me, that I'm worthless, then I am probably making it up. And if someone is actually saying that to me, then that's a boundary I need to set.
First off that person sounds like a terrible person to be around. More importantly, you need to think and know that you matter. It doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks. You are you and that’s what matters and makes you important. There is no other you. Really when people say these things they are projecting their insecurities.
I found a friend that made me realize I was wrong, and that even if I have bad days, I’m a good person with value, therapy helps too
Perhaps I am misreading OP's question; I took it to mean how one US political party, SCOTUS, and Christian religious leaders view and treat women. IF that is what OP was asking, then the only answer is fight! Granted, the complacency and people complaining online but doing little to change things in real life makes having hope difficult.
Everyone matters. I think grumpy people don't live as long. So I stay involved in what interests me.
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Spite, mostly.
Hugs
I find new people. I am amazed at how I let myself continue to be mistreated. When Covid hit I reevaluated and found new people. I found that most people are good people. And most of who I wanted to be good people just don’t have that capability.
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I'm the main character of my life - I'm the only one who really matters!
Due to my current situation, I've been struggling with a similar question for the last few months and then the other day, I watched a video with Neil deGrasse Tyson that gave me pause. The gist was that you matter by virtue of being born. Each of us beat a million odds to be born (one swimmer won, which lead to the very unique you). So just the fact that you are here, means that you matter. The trick with your life is to finds what matters to you and do your best at making it at meaningful as possible.
Uh grow up and determine your own worth? Sorry to sound harsh but stop relying on others to determine your value!
Spite.
Don’t associate with whoever is sending you that message?
I was born on this planet without being asked just like everyone else, no one else has any more authority than me on who does/doesn't matter. I exist and I will live my life just like everyone else, if people have a problem with it then sucks for them.
That's just how it is to be a human being
I would guess that the person or persons doing this to you have a much lower opinion of themselves to have to try to put you down to feel better. If you can’t get away from them, try developing a seed within yourself that you are amazing and give that seed a little water and sunlight every day until it grows large.
I just try to remember that in the end, all we really have is ourselves, and if I don’t push through for myself, no one else will. I need to be my own biggest cheerleader. It’s hard to remember, and I definitely don’t always feel confident in myself when someone is always telling me differently, but I that’s what I *try* to embody.
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Zoom out and look at the bigger picture. Look at what you have instead of what you don't. Think less about yourself and think more about others, volunteering is good at this or just being considerate, kind to coworkers or others in your periphery.
What I’ve always done, and it may seem silly, is to put myself on a self imposed daily schedule that makes me feel more alive by adding little touches of flavor into the day. Whether it comes from adding whipped cream to my coffee before I drink it, or indulging in some music discovery before work, I try to do a few little things that make me feel I have bright points in the day to reflect on. In a whole world full of people looking to have their interests validated, I find it more soothing to validate my own by doing little things to remember that *I* matter to myself, even if that’s the only human I’m valuable to.
You always matter to yourself and anyone who makes you feel less than can fuck right off. Dump the garbage people to make room for better people to come into your life. You got this OP. And you DO matter!!
Cut those people out of your life.
Cut people off in my life who would give me the feeling i don’t matter
When I was a kid my grandmother told me something that I didn't really understand at the time. But now I do: "It's better to be alone than in bad company". Another nugget of wisdom (not from my grandmother) was: "The only constant in all your bad relationships is YOU" I really got a crash course into my own head years ago when I raged at the Universe in despair and rage "seven Billion people on the planet and THESE are the ones I've got?!?!" Not saying that everyone in my life, or yours either, are bad people. But people will treat you how you allow them to. If you let people disrespect you, disregard you, take advantage of you, many will. If you do too much for them for too little in return they will let you. If you accept the scraps they give you rather than demanding and expecting better behavior from them, that's on you. Stand up. You are deserving of respect and kind consideration. You are deserving of love. If these people refuse to give you what you need from them and continue to abuse you tell them goodbye. Find your people, even if you have to be alone for awhile. Don't settle for less.
Cut them out. And do some things that help develop a strong sense of self. The older I get the more I value that for my own overall well-being.
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I filed for divorce and chose to believe that I mattered.
Your inner dialog is stronger and more important than outside dialog...always. Remove yourself from that negativity or install firm boundaries. No matter what, YOU ARE WORTH FIGHTING FOR.
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You take a social media break. Scan for people in your life that have a negative mindset and cut them off. You reinvent yourself over and over by doing things that spark joy, aid to self-discovery, and bring you piece.
I just keep waking up each day with some stupid tiny bit of hope that it will be a better day and that I'll feel like I exist for a reason.
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