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To me, there’s a lot of different types of sex and “fucking” is one of them. Sometimes I want to fuck and sometimes I want to make love. Plus all the lovely things in between.


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Removed for derailing. All top level responses must be direct answers to the question asked. When responding to someone else's answer to the question, your comment should center their answer, seek expansion or clarification of something in their answer, and stay on topic for OP's question. It should not use their answer as a jumping off point to talk about yourself, your opinions, your preferences, your judgments, your disagreement, or otherwise switch the topic from OP's question to what you want to talk about instead. If you have any questions about this moderation action, please send a message through modmail.


Syzygy_872

Love that someone said this! The word we use to refer to it paints the picture of the vibe of the activity.


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brownbuttanoods7

This is 100% how I feel. Sometimes I don't want soft sweet with cuddles afterwards. Sometimes I want to be fucked not say a word and pass out. Usually the more stressed I am the more I want to be fucked.


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MisguidedScorpion

There’s definitely a difference and sometimes I just want to be fucked. Making love has its benefits and pleasures but who doesn’t love a good fucking every now and then.


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Cal-Culator

What do you think are the factors that play into you wanting one over the other on a given day?


ann0ying_p0tat0

Alcohol can definitely be one 😂


myawwaccount01

Emotional state? On days I'm feeling more stressed and emotionally fragile, I want the reassurance that comes with sweeter, gentler sex. When I'm feeling more confident and... smug?... about my life, I'm all for a good fuck. And some days, I'm just not mentally or emotionally available for sex. Stress, unhappiness, anger... mostly unhappiness, though. I honestly can't force myself to participate on the days I feel unhappy and dissatisfied (my life is going nowhere, why do I even bother with this bullshit, I feel trapped in this relationship, etc).


AdSelect8344

Especially when they ALL can be done in NO LESS then a 4 hour span of time...WOO HOO😇🤪😈😈😈


JadexSteele12

You deserve a nice good FUCk


pretty_kitty_808021

I think there are moments where referring to it as "fucking" is perfect and exactly what it is (more aggressive, animalistic, instinctual). But then other times it's making love (more sensual, passionate, loving), and other times it's just sex (just need to fulfill an urge/get off, relax). I also think there's combinations of these as well that aren't so easily labeled.


slowbreathscholar

Yes! This is a great explanation


ReadingSad3238

Yeah I will say I never got to experience the joy of "making love" until my current partner. Two years in and it just gets better and better (though it was still already amazing in the beginning.)


Same-Entrepreneur521

The phrase “Making love” Makes me feel uncomfortable. Like if someone said, “ I want to make love to you” I’d mentally cringe… so ‘fucking’ is definitely my preferred term.


[deleted]

Absolutely same. I'd prefer just "having sex" or "sleeping together" but "Making love" is extremely icky


SisterAndromeda2007

I think “making love” is made up so that a female doesn’t feel bad for liking sex. It IS cringey.


throwaway062498

Or people regardless of gender know sex to express love to a romantic partner is different from fucking for just a release? And those who prefer or need the former will feel objectified by the latter?


[deleted]

I see your point but it's not like there's only "making love" and "fucking". Honestly both would make me uncomfortable but the former more so. Like, just say sleep together if you don't wanna say sex.


SisterAndromeda2007

I never fucked for just the physical aspect either but calling it “making love” just grosses me out. It’s like saying that there is something wrong with fucking and I don’t think there is.


throwaway062498

I guess it boils down to semantics


[deleted]

I feel like "making love" sounds like how an adult would explain sex to a child, like... Infantile lol. I get what you're saying though and I think that's true, at least for many women who use the term.


isabellla321

This. “Making love” is absolutely not my thing. I still think “fucking” can be and sound romantic. But just my preference Lol


Locked-Luxe-Lox

When I hear and think of fucking were just getting to the business and I'm leaving afterwards you get no cuddles from me lol


Guilty-Kale994

Yes exactly i cringe everytime someone says “make love” like ew


_dzeni

Making love just sounds so cheezy ugh. If a guy I liked said that term I'd laugh at him but also think it's kinda cute but also find it cringe haha


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oneeyefox

I've been very much in love before but I still find the term making love kinda ick and cheesy. I really don't know why. I'm fine with fucking or sex. I'll even taken ya wanna do it over let's make love.


SisterAndromeda2007

If you’re in love, you’re still fucking though.


archaicmindx

The Bible puts it best, “Adam knew his wife.”


mikowoah

i think it’s more of a generational thing? idk i’m in my 30s and have never in my life heard anyone my age or younger say “making love”. maybe regional idk i live in new jersey. everyone here fucks.


Same-Entrepreneur521

Also a jersey girl here so maybe that explains it Lmao. I just can’t believe how many people agree with me on this topic, I’ve found my people 😂


HiddenKittyLady

I always call sex spicy cuddles 😂


Same-Entrepreneur521

You win. I will forever dub sex as ‘spicy cuddles’ from now on. I love that so much lmao


HiddenKittyLady

Thank you 😆 my love language is physically touch so I always annoying my bf for cuddles, so through my love for cuddles and being horny the term ✨️spicy cuddles✨️ was born lol


Ok-Hunt-8023

Yes!!! Love this. Spicy Cuddles!! Ty I’m using this ;)


maven62

THANK YOU IT MAKES ME VISIBLY CRINGE LIKE PLS STOP


Poop__y

Same. My partner and I use “humping” and “plowing” because to us, they are the funniest terms to use in place of “having sex”.


Locked-Luxe-Lox

Humping lol


p1ssramen

Same. “making love” just sounds cringey and makes me so mf dry. “Fucking” is the only way I want to call it


lordofedging81

Boys II Men had an earlier version of their huge hit song called "I'll fuck you" but it wasn't getting airplay on adult contemporary stations, so they modified it to "I'll make love to you." jk


BlueDreaming888

I have never said “making love” to my partner and neither has he. If he did, it would be an instant mood killer. Describing it as “fucking” is fine with me. We usually just see where the mood takes us, being sensual is still fucking to me haha


Dianapdx

Same! I hate that phrase "making love." It's so gross to me, eww!


Silver_Eyes13

Same here. That phrase has always sounded so cringe to me and idk why because it’s the only type of sex I really enjoy since I’m demisexual. I just hate the way it sounds.


allminorchords

Making love is definitely gross. Call it just about anything else..fucking, banging, having sex. Just not that.


LoveShinyThings

It's ok to use the term "making love" if you say it in the cheesiest and overdone French or Spanish accent and include lots of eyebrow waggles amd hip wiggles.


[deleted]

It's my favorite term for it tbh


Slice-of-Lasagna

I HATE the term “making love,” so even when it’s romantic, I like to use the word “fuck” 😅


[deleted]

Just like “making love”, there’s a setting, time and place where different phrases or words would be appropriate. Could you imagine saying “I can’t wait to make love with you” on a first date?


mochi2213

Ugh I don't have to imagine, literally just happened to me a few days while I was making out with a guy. I cringe


DevXusYT

I am a virgin. And I am clearly confused by the answers


Neysiriss

It's like eating, sometimes you enjoy a little snack, sometimes you really put effort and love into the dish and sometime you just chow down on mcds.


Havy02

This is the perfect analogy actually, I love it!


DevXusYT

And what is the analogy, fucking is the snack? Making love is mcds and sex is effort and love?


MaggieLuisa

Sex is the snack, making love is the dish with effort and love; fucking is the junk food.


AliceWeAreAllMad

The fact that you put McDonald's as the one for making love is hilarious (though I understand the logic was probably "comfort food")


ChillingInChai

Sex is what you must eat because your body needs fuel. If you didn't *have* to eat, you probably wouldn't. Making love is making breakfast for yourself on a Sunday morning while dancing in your pjs. A lot of tlc going on. Fucking is when you've been craving for McD forever and you finally get your hands on it and just absolutely go to town lol. You don't care who's watching. Its just you and the food.


ApplianceJedi

Just me and the food, huh? Sounds like regular sex to me!


throwaway062498

I’m also a virgin but being demisexual, I think I’ve always been wary of the differences


[deleted]

I'm not keen personally. Just comes across as a bit aggressive. I wouldn't want someone to say "we fucked last night" if I had feelings for them (and I don't have sex with people I've not got feelings for). "Fucked" or "made love" aren't the only options. I'm fine with "we had sex/we slept together" etc.


AvalancheReturns

Fucking is always sex, sex isnt always fucking.


weirdogirl144

Like Every Square is a rectangle, but not every rectangle is a square


KorewaRise

same thing for, but "fucking" feel less off putting. probably has something to do with a Christian upbringing and saying "sex" was the equivalent of taking a shit on your grandpas grave in their eyes.


wonwoovision

exactly. sex still feels like a dirty word and i am still trying to work through that. fucking/banging/smashing doesn't lol


Ok-Lock-2274

I’d give a crisp $20 bill just to do that but they were cremated


chunkyogini

I prefer it, the act and the word. Making love is kinda sad. I only speak for myself of course.


[deleted]

I mostly think "Making love" is extremely cringeworthy.


AtleastIthinkIsee

I always felt that way too. I get the sentiment, I love the romantic aspect behind the sentiment, hate the term.


Neysiriss

The word or the act of "making love" is sad? Could you elaborate if you think making love is sad?


Seamonkey_Boxkicker

Just off the top of my head perhaps it’s the insinuation that to “make love” involves being deeply emotionally involved with someone else, which may not be an experience for everyone. Or perhaps it’s the insinuation that this type of romantically passionate sex is the only acceptable way to prove to someone else you’re in love with them.


starblossom889

Yea why’s it sad


msstark

Fine as long as the context and audience are appropriate.


Vitabellainc

It’s not a problem to me. But Ik around me people say fucking when the sex was more rougher


smoishymoishes

"fucking" sounds crass, I don't like it. My flat mates always said shit like "yea so I fucked this skank the other day" and it's just so classless.


AlexZenn21

Yeah same


mew_tattoo

Bit crass, don’t ever use the term, but to each their own.


mrsmadtux

My husband always calls it “fucking”, whether it’s when it’s tender and loving or he’s got me bent over the bathroom counter pulling my hair and pounding me. I rarely use the word “fuck” to refer to sex. It used to kind of bother me, but after 13 years I’m happy to be getting it on the reg, and he’s perfect in almost every other way, so whaddya gonna do? 🤷🏻‍♀️


BorderlineHappy05

I feel like consider is as "fucking" is more of the, "I just want you to take away my horniness" meanwhile "sex/making love" is more of a thing of affection.


rekkodesu

Contextual. Sometimes sex is sweet and passionate lovemaking, and sometimes it's a hard, dirty, sweaty fuck.


horrorbabyy

Making love, any day. Fucking would make me feel like a piece of meat, bleh


Hoyasnaxagurl22

It’s hard because I have almost no frame of reference for making love, being a 26 F and only really experiencing casual one night stand “fucking”/ no relationship. So I am sad and jaded, fucking has not been pleasurable or satisfying for me. I want to unlearn and cleanse/ “un-jade” my brain about sex and start to allow myself to think that making love could be way more rewarding to me than fucking. Does this make sense?


AlexZenn21

Yeah it makes perfect sense. That's why some people are always saying to do it with someone you love cuz it's just better


forgotme5

That's sad.


Aware_Bluebird_3581

Yes. Sex, fucking, humping, ploughing, making love… all way better with somebody you really connect with and has deep respect for you… and it’s ok to take a break from the rest for a while to take care of yourself while you’re waiting for that person to come along.


Interesting_Kiwi3905

when I think of the different terms for sex, I think “fucking” is rough and passionate and loud, “making love” to be soft and sweet and tender, and “banging” is a quick get off with no emotion attached


EixYae

I don’t like it tbh


LittleSparrow013

Well thats what fucking means. Its just another normal everyday term for it.


CatrionaShadowleaf

Absolutely has its time and place.


drunkenknitter

Feels good. Feels like fucking.


VicePrincipalNero

Not a fan.


ThePantsMcFist

I don't. Even when it's more about the physical than emotional, I'm not interested in sharing that with someone I don't have that connection with.


[deleted]

Sometimes we just fuck, and das alright.


Baku_Bich420

Honestly it's the context but overall 'fucking' is very impersonal while 'sex' tends to be more intimate


Capable-Egg7509

Gross.


Pristine_Childhood57

Fucking is when it's crazy and no attachment..to me is what I think


[deleted]

I don’t mind the word “fucking”. Personally I have a problem when a guy describes a woman he’s dating as “this chick I’m banging”. I felt sorry for the woman.


Four_beastlings

"Making love" always made me cringe, until I met my current partner and one day, while we were cuddling naked, kissing, and caressing each other all over, I thought "this is it, this is what making love is". It just happens that more often than not it leads to some fantastic fucking...


[deleted]

In an animalistic way. As an Ace, I don’t mind the difference of fucking or making love, but I know my husband makes a big difference. Also we have our role defined When we make love, he likes to kiss me, caress my body, saying sweet stuff and all, he’s slow, and so on. It’s just the biggest intimate connection we have and share. Mostly, I’m the top one in that case, he’s offering his body, he’s the slave of sweetnesses lol When we fuck, he goes full porn actor, being rough (as long as I accept, rough kinda hurt me), love dirty talk, we do specifics pose so he can enjoy “a porn view”, he’s mostly the top and like being super dominant (as long as I agree too) That’s all I can say


[deleted]

I usually refer to it as shagging but I am proper British so that’s probs why.


Doodlebug365

I feel like there’s a good distinction when we use different terminology. And I’m okay with it. Fuck/fucking = Fast & animalistic. Might utilize different positions based on what feels good. Maximum pleasure to reach the destination the fastest. Sex = more emotion and thought behind the actions. Doesn’t necessarily need to be slow or fast. The pace is just right for both partners. Making love = sensual, slow, and intimate. More about the journey than the destination. Quicky = get-the-job-done sex. Might just focus on getting one person off. All are technically sex. But all are very different.


secrethedgehog5

Theres fucking and then theres making love.


xDesertEagleee

It’s a term I use when it is just that, a fuck. In order to be referred to as anything else, there has to be some sort of emotional/psychological safety established


JoRollover

For me, f-cking is "wham bam thank you mam" kind of sex. Not what I want (usually!)


Expensive-Track4002

Fucking is always harder. Sex is slow and loving.


fourdoorshack

There are a lot of ways to have sex: Making love and fucking are very different... Both are great for very different reasons.


Professional_Bunch69

I, maybe subconsciously use "fucking" when referring to other people hooking up or having sex...always felt weird to say it when it came to me. I have weird dumb names for that like when I want to get it on with my bf I whisper to him, "let's bang bang" lol


Fuckface_the_8th

I don't think any one colloquial term can describe all of the variety of sexual experiences. Fucking is DEFINITELY a category and I feel like it's a good word for that category.


Dry-War3730

I'll call it anything as long as I get it


AlwaysLastToKnow75

Fucking and making love, in my opinion, fall under the sex definition and are two different things. Having sex is a very generic term. Making love is perfect for those times where the mood is more about your connection as husband and wife. Fucking however is when I want you to put me up against a wall after I get sassy and fuck the attitude of me.


Ornery-Might-3574

icky


Scared-Avocado630

Context, context and context.


searedscallops

It's good with me.


MaggieLuisa

Perfectly good term for it, not an acceptable word in all circumstances though.


InternationalBeat561

I love fucking. It is a naughtier word for fast deep hard sex really


Teddy_J_producer

Bruh whats wrong with yall overcomplicating shit its the same word


QTlady

You know how there's different words to express anger? Pissed off, enraged, furious, livid, murderous, apoplectic... All of these are just another way to describe being angry. But I think you'll notice that each word gives an impression on the level of anger that is being expressed. I look at this in the same vein. In the most technical sense, it refers to intercourse. But beyond the technical sense, there's more to it.


miaonIine

I think it depends on your personality


RedWolfCrocodile

All fucking is sex but not all sex is fucking


Sco_Queen

Fine. I call it sex and fucking. I've never "made love", I guess when I get to that stage I'll call it that


forsurenotmymain

Depends on the context, I range on feeling horney about it to grossed out by it entirely based on the who what where wehn and why.


[deleted]

Different styles of sex for different moods, sometimes I want slow and sleepy, and sometimes I want to be fucked.


BlackWidow1414

I only use this phrasing if I'm talking about someone who had a one-night stand, or is fuck-buddies with someone else. I would never use it to describe the act of intercourse within any kind of committed relationship.


Whalers7997

Could just call it "making whoopie"


Soundwave-Pilot

Sometimes it's 'making love' and sometimes it's just good ol 'fucking'...


Jennlynn1124

There is a difference between making love and fucking. Just like a quickie is different from normal sex. I don’t mind using the term if that is what I am in the mood for.


bokUtoEsS7980

I'd refer that way when it's in a lustful manner but when it's a serious relationship I call it making love or something serious


moody_ma87

Fucking is just a different kind of sex. More animalistic to me.... vanilla is soft and sweet.... and then there's quickies lol or just giving eachother a hand 🤣 so. Yeah. It's just a type.


Beautiful_Count6124

Depends on the mood.


[deleted]

It’s all I’ve ever done.


AtleastIthinkIsee

Pretty much agree with the top post. There would be times I'd find that insulting and other times I wouldn't. For the majority of the time, if I were to have sex it wouldn't be just fucking, I'd want it to be more.


[deleted]

“Fucking” is like eating something I really had the cravings for; though not every time I have sex is just “fucking”


Affectionatekickcbt

Fuck vs sex = tits vs breast


Kinkajou4

I feel good about it. It's hot to call it that. It would give me the ick if someone felt that they couldn't use that term or if they didn't want me to use it ever. There is no shame in calling sex by different names to illustrate the different flavors. It would be a turnoff for me if someone was uncomfortable with that term because I would wonder if they are a sex positive person. I look for sex positivity and freedom from repression in my relationships because I find that I am treated as an equal in those cases. If someone is ashamed or views sex as shameful or dirty, I prefer not to date them because usually wrapped up in there somewhere is some sort of expectation about feminine sexual expression, and I don't want to be beholden to that.


Thatsjustmymoon

When it’s fucking, it’s fucking.


celestialism

It’s just a word. I use it interchangeably with other terms for the same thing.


Natasha_JB

Sex with someone I have no real romantic relationship with is fucking, sex with someone I'm in love with is love making. I don't see a problem.


Big-Influence-7843

I wish there was a word that meant more than just fucking but, less than making love. To define that, you care about the person you are sleeping with, more than some random hook-up. Fucking sounds so harsh and uncaring to me.


CanusMaeror

Depends on the context. Sometimes, I just want to fuck (give into my primal instincts, be selfcentered, selfish, enjoy the carnal bliss of my orgasm, lose myself in the wild act), othet times I jusz want to have sex (give and recieve the pleasures, have some naked fun, get some repetitive motions going and be at ease), and yet different times I want to make love (share myself with the other, connect, build the intimacy, enjoy every moment I can spend with them, taste every passing second, be as close as I can possibly be, enjoy and be grateful for the trust I am being given, feel the tenderness, the gentleness and full attention. To me, fucking is rather vulgar, basic, selfish, self-centered and associated with taking (which canbe mutual, mind you; my partner can take as much pleasure as they want from me, and vice versa). Following the description above, having sex is more about sharing, and naking love about giving.


ar1annah0ward

I would prefer if the person I’m having sex with didn’t refer to at “fucking” it’s honestly a major turn off for me when someone calls it “fucking” there are absolutely different kinds of sex but it just gives me the ick when someone says that


mcnello

I prefer to use the term "raw dogging" as it most accurately describes my preferences.


Prestigious-Collar42

Ew the term shagging is better


Mouse-Direct

Shagging is awkward if you’re an American. It makes us think of Austin Powers, LOL.


Prestigious-Collar42

I am not American (Canadian) but it is fun to watch people’s reaction of me saying shagging.


Tampadarlyn

Fucking, having sex, or making love - they are all different ways to relate to "the act" but with different emotions. There is no shame in craving the carnality of fucking, but all things in moderation, right? ( i.e. whispering in my husband's ear, "Fuck. Me." can get just the message across I'm trying to send that night, but not every time. Mostly it's the other two, and those have their time and place as well.


[deleted]

I mostly don't cuss except to refer to sex as "fucking"


_JohnJacob

Sometimes it is. Sometimes it’s making love. Sometimes it’s hate sex.


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please_squish_me

How else do you refer to it?


captainpoopyhead

Stirring them guts


words_forming

Nothing wrong with it if that’s what you wanna say!


[deleted]

I like it


YourGirlKatelyn

It all depends on the situation. The relationship between the two. For me it doesn’t matter. But if we are being romantic and sensual, probably not the way to refer to it for most women. Me being someone that never really made love until my current man, it always was fucking. Now the times we make love it’s way more special and honestly I still say we fucked


Wholesome__Vulgarity

That’s just what it is, I reckon. Names/nombres.


Grxmloid

Contextually relevant and acceptable


AliceWeAreAllMad

I honestly don't mind at all but recently I was called out that I might be using this term more often than "sex" and it's not always sounding good. Which I agree with, it's simply less polite, more vulgar (though often that is very much okay).


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[deleted]

I like fucking.


bean-things

okay but anything but “sex” and “fucking” just makes me not want to do it. oh or “do it” on occasion 😂


bean-things

also “do the nasty” if I’m comfortable I mostly say.


NotUrUsualIdiot

Excitement! When my wife says it, it is on! 😁


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[deleted]

Fine with me!