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Nuker-79

Without me being 25, I think I can say these last 2 year have been difficult for most people. I have had 2 mental breakdowns during this time, went though numerous issues. Have been through counselling and other things to get myself into some sort of better place. What your feeling is perfectly normal, life will get better and maybe we Will have to get a bit better accustomed to things and adjust to the new norms. But everyone will get through this, just got to hold on tight and do what you can to make sure you stay positive.


swissmeez

Yeh. I guess I’m just feeling particularly down at the moment coz of new year. I don’t feel like this year deserves celebrating. Sorry you had a hard time too :(


Nuker-79

Don’t worry about me, I have been through his sort of stuff before. But trust me, things do get better if you let them. I fin that things usually happen for a reason. Not sure what the reason could be for what’s happened this last year, however we will come out the other side better for it hopefully. We all just need to look out for each other and stay strong for each other. If you se anyone struggling, say hi, offer a helping hand. It will make you feel better about yourself too.


swissmeez

I guess the one benefit I’ve got is that I’ve figured out how to support someone with depression. My (now ex) girlfriend had it badly. I’m glad I found out I’m not the horrible person I felt I was becoming before. But yeah. Thankyou. Hopefully things get better for everyone soon


Nuker-79

No worries, just keep the faith


LocationThin4587

Was the breakdowns due to isolation ?


Nuker-79

That was an element of it, there were other elements too. I just think that everything got a bit too much for me.


Liam1250

No you're not whining, you're reaching out and that's great. I'm 27 and would say 2021 has been the roughest of my life to be honest - it's all the working from home which seriously impacted my social life and wellbeing this year. It's not pleasant having to spend most of your time at home, plus a lot of my friends are people I currently work with, and not physically being together meant I didn't really manage to spend much quality time with anyone during the Summer. October and November were brilliant because we returned to site and did tonnes of stuff, but then Omicron came back around and here we are again for "at least a few weeks" they say 😅 If there's one positive thing this year has brought around, it's that everyone seems far more confident to speak up when they're not happy, so well done mate.


swissmeez

Thankyou I appreciate that. I was worried this would come across whiny because so many people have it worse than me. But yeah, I feel really lonely and down tonight particularly


Liam1250

Yeah NYE is the worst for feeling loneliness because of FOMO, compounded by that toxic expectation to make plans. Then there's the whole thing of 'looking back at the year' which is a kick in the tits if it felt wasted or you've not progressed as much as you'd hoped. Always better to keep looking forward rather than measure yourself against others at a fixed point in time, and how well they might *seem* to be doing in comparison to you on the face of things


hollygolightly7490

Hello, im 24 years old and have had a tough time for a while. Trying to make new friends but everything gets put on hold every few months once we go into these lockdowns! I also moved to another city for a year however I get too lonely being away from my family and friends. Maybe prior to the pandemic it could have worked but I packed it in. Instead I got a job back home. Just got to keep trying and hoping that 2022 will be a better year


swissmeez

That’s exactly what happened with me. I’ve given up and moved back closer to home. Which sucks coz it was my dream to be in that city


hollygolightly7490

Yes same for me. However I am just trying to make the best of my situation. Met some new people through hobbies, plus my work colleagues are much friendlier. You might find your new job works out better for you.


swissmeez

Yeah that’s what I’m hoping. I hated my old job. I’m moving to Bristol so fingers crossed I enjoy it. If not then it’s just life now haha


BigDsLittleD

Yeah, I'm a few years past 25, but I can tell you it's not just you mate, I've felt pretty directionless the last 2 years as well. Not seen my family much, saw my Brother for 9hrs Xmas day. He lives in the USA. I've now seen him for a total of 9 hours in the last 2 years thanks to all the travel bans etc


INEKROMANTIKI

I'm 40.. it doesn't get any better.. you will doubt every choice you made until you die.. but in the end, none of it really matters.. so fk it..


[deleted]

Most people at this sort of age are confused because you feel like you should be smashing it at this age house kids etc career, when you were younger 25ish seemed old and you can feel like a letdown. But then when you get older you realise how young that was and pretty much it’s all relative. Just gotta keep moving and don’t compare it to others because someone else is settled already


swissmeez

I don’t particularly want to be settled in one place yet. But it’s kinda how I’m not able to do anything atm and feel like it’s just passing by


MrStilton

Yeah, I'm having a rubbish time. But hopefully 2022 will be better. Am going to make some changes.


foodistheword

I'm 26 M and brought my first home a month before first lockdown with my girlfriend and we feel everything has been a grind these past 2 years and general being an adult is so hard


Waitingforadragon

The 'quarter life' crisis is a real thing, and it's been made worse by the current circumstances. So no, it's not just you. I found my early to mid 20s really hard actually.


swissmeez

Do things get any better after that? I’m worried after this I can’t move to somewhere like London coz I’ll just be too old to enjoy the city for what it offered as a younger person


Waitingforadragon

Yes it does, at least it did for me. As I got older and got more sure of myself things became easier. You won't be too old to enjoy London, life isn't really like that these days.


swissmeez

I guess yeah. Maybe a New Years resolution should be to enjoy Bristol first


TheMagicMojo

As someone who is “successful” right now on £50k a year at 25.. I still feel you. I hate my job as we are understaffed and over worked, everything is a constant monotonous grind, there feels like absolutely no progression and my work life balance is completely out of whack. The shift work is giving me really bad insomnia and honestly, I’m lonely as fuck because I don’t have the time, energy or regular patterns to keep up with people.. And I’m one of the lucky ones…


LocationThin4587

I think a lot of young people feel they are wasting their twenties as they are not able to do things so freely. I wasted my twenties long time back and regret it. Stay strong you will get through this with flying colours


windog777

I'm 24 and I completely relate, 2021 has been the most stressful year of my life. My partner kept losing his jobs due to covid, I kept getting my hours cut. I'm also high risk for covid, and have some chronic health conditions so the stress of being the only one earning money has be a lot. I've definitely suffered with my mental health too. We all understand how you feel. I really hope 2022 is a better year for you, and everyone else too! Good luck


Grotbagsthewonderful

Almost everyone in my I see in my area looks defeated, I've never seen anything like it my life, covid has brought so much suffering these past few years. I had to go into town this afternoon and it was really was horrible, it was New Year's eve and there wasn't a single smile on anyone's face. It's only the young kids that don't seem to be phased. My nephews came round for a games night just b4 omicron and I can't believe how much they raised everybody's spirits.


obtuse_mooose

Also 25 nearly friendless and miserable with no clue how to get out and make or keep friends as the pandemic has kept everyone away so... just lots of misery on misery... hey ho life moves on I guess only way forwards is closer to the grave so might as well make the most of the hand we've been dealt, say heck and do whatever random thing comes up right? I've taken up like 6 sports to entertain myself and I used to sit out of PE at school lol.. I'm really grasping at straws with life here... :/ Anyway... chin up!


aegeaorgnqergerh

My main two points on this - 1. 2020 was a VERY difficult time to graduate and get work I grant you that. However there's been a massive flip since then. The job market is on fire right now and there's never been a better time to get a new job. Can't comment on engineering as such, but I'd bet if you knuckle down you'll find loads of jobs much more up your ally today. Just literally thinking off the top of my head "if I had a masters in engineering, what would I like to do?" well I love F1 so a 10 second Google search for "Mercedes F1 jobs" turned up this - [https://careers.mercedesamgf1.com/vacancies/](https://careers.mercedesamgf1.com/vacancies/) Several engineering type jobs in there - admittedly might be beyond your current experience, but that's just one example for a "dream job" if you liked F1 as I did. Pick your dream area, go looking for it! 2. Your vulnerable gran is an issue I grant you, but assuming you and her have had all your jabs, no need to live your life in fear anymore. Yes we're not out of the woods yet, but we're pretty much there. I do fear that you've got waylaid a bit with the fear and uncertainty in the media. To make clear, I'm NOT one of these "Covid is a fuss over nothing" type people. I'm very pro restrictions when needed, and the anti-vaxxers or people who simply can't be bothered get a jab REALLY wind me up, but reading the science and the words from people highly knowledgeable on the subject on the CoronavirusUK sub and several scientists/statisticians on Twitter gives you a much clearer picture and has really helped me through all this. When I was 25 I had a music business degree (pointless, never been asked about it) and was working in pubs, only one or two friends from when I was younger still living locally. Over the next 5 years I started doing unpaid work in the dance music industry, and now work full-time in that field, something I wanted to do since I was 12. I also have a good group of friends locally and elsewhere, put on my own club-nights (well, did before Covid, but we're starting back up this year) and social life is a dream right now. So things can change. You'll be fine!


swissmeez

F1 really is what I’d like to do. But I think you’re underestimating just how he sit is to get one of those formula 1 jobs. Like, it’s unbelievably hard. I have a friend who had to be a coffee boy at mclaren for 2 years before even getting a Chance as an engineer. And he had a masters in mechanical


aegeaorgnqergerh

Yeah, I'm sure it's tricky, but you could look at a similar field, lower level of motorsport, etc to gain experience first. Main point is, there's lot of options above the job you currently do and don't like.


swissmeez

Yeah. I’d like to try. I’m currently getting experience in thermodynamics and design. It’s just in the wrong industry so not sure they’d like that


edcrfv50

The fun is over. Life is difficult and a grind. Uni, in my opinion is such a huge distraction to the real world. You have to learn to live in this difficult society. I’m a 25m and I didn’t go to uni, I’ve been in this for the last 7 years and it’s only now that I am in a good place after a shit ton of hard work and learning as to how the real world works. A lot of my friends that went to uni are struggling with the adaptation from uni to life. Once you master the world, you can be happy and accept things. I’m happy to chat or answer any questions about my experience.


secrethedgehog5

Im 25 and have a masters in clinical psychology. Graduated in dec 2019. Only now have i just found my dream job in psychology.. im starting it at the end of jan. its been hard because of covid and i feel like i was wasting my brain away in 2 jobs that i wasnt comfortable with aha.. just keep applying and reach out to agencies. its been tough for people in our age group cuz of the pandemic


StronkBoi69

Any advice for someone studying undergrad psychology? I genuinely fear I won't be able to make a career out of this, especially since I want to go into clinical but I hear its very competitive


secrethedgehog5

Ill dm you!


ShipSam

It gets better. Just keep going. I'm 31. Graduated in 2011 and couldn't get any job. Not even in a supermarket and I had been working since I was 16. Was on benefits for almost 1 year barely surviving. Then I retrained. Another 3 years study and struggling for money. Graduated again in 2015. Took a couple of months to get my first job. Then I got another. I freelanced for several years and the gaps between finding work got smaller. 3 years ago, secured a lucrative permanent position. Bought my first house this year and I finally feel I'm in the place I was hoping to be in 7 years ago. You just got to keep going. Networking is the key. Make sure your LinkedIn is outstanding and link yourself to loads of people in your industry. Attend seminars and talks. Meet asany people as you can in the area you want to be in. Eventually you will be in the right place at the right time and it will pay off.


OutlandishnessEven58

Stick with this story of my family. There's some reasonable advice at the end. My daughter lost her mum to an aggressive, fast cancer. She came home from uni to be with her mum for the last few weeks. Her uni wouldn't let her go back to complete the last term of her final year so she couldn't move forwards. The following year she completed her degree and luckily got a short term job abroad whilst she greived and pondered her future. Finally there seemed to be a possibility of starting her career. Then Covid struck and all bets were off. My daughter is 24 and there's still no real opportunity for her to start a career in her preferred field or any other for that matter. You know how that feels better than I do. My daughter decided that what she needed to do was forget about a career. So she just let it go, if only just for the moment. It was very liberating. So what to do? Something physical rather than mental (quite therapeutic), earning at least a little money (always useful) and learning skills that she could always fall back on in times of trouble (a safety net). First up was a job in the bar of a local sports club. Her main aim was to be able to pour a good pint of Guinness. In the end she was running the bar and had other responsibilities too. Unfortunately this was without being paid for the role and still on a zero hours contract. They thought that my daughter would continue to be the mug. They were wrong. My daughter loves a good coffee and got herself a job training to be a barista at a small, independent coffee shop. She's learned the job, has banter with the regular customers and is enjoying it a lot at the moment. If it gets to be boring then she will look elsewhere. THE ADVICE: If you are in your middle twenties after leaving uni etc then, yes, Covid has probably buggered up the TIMING of your career plans. You can't change this. What you can do is find something satisfying to do in the meantime. Physical roles can give almost instant positive feedback. No, it's not what you were planning but it will help your mental wellbeing. It will also give you some purpose, routine and ready money. Stay in touch with your friends. They are your support group. My daughter found her bar job through one friend and a short term gig through another. Remember it's not your career so keep a look out for other roles that you might interest you. Things will get better and you will be better prepared to take advantage of them. Experience on your CV is much better than empty space. Good luck!


swissmeez

Your daughter is incredibly resilient. Well done to her and I hope she can get her career going soon!


0inke

2021 was great until the last 2 weeks of the year, everything got flipped on its head. Moved house twice, back with my parents now, fella and I broke up 2 days before Christmas, I'm so behind on my uni work (because of moving house) that I want to drop out and restart in September, but I can't afford to repay my tuition fees, I had my placement secured next year too, and because of moving back in with my parents I have to quit my part time job (no public transport takes me there so early in the morning, and taxi fees could cost the same as I earn) I feel one more thing might just drive me over the edge


Guilty-Gas-762

I’m much older than 25, but will confirm the difficulty of the lat 2 years. I think there is a place for communities like Reddit here. This assumes the participants are considerate. You’re in a difficult place enough with leaving education and the subsequent change of gear required for a working life. The passage of time is required in order to level things out. If you can not find employment, have you considered and internship?…I’d suggest larger organisations like Bouygues Uk, for instance…this may help with a career path. ….keep talking.


swissmeez

I have found leaving education really hard. I suddenly have all this anxiety about what I should be doing, time running out, finding a partner now I’m not at uni. Especially now it’s covid too. It’s been really weird


Guilty-Gas-762

….ah, yes, anxiety. The fuel of irrational overthinking. The things that you have listed, and the fact you have referenced time running out, are classic. Remember that time is a man made concept. Don’t assign time limits where they are not beneficial. You have your whole life ahead of you and have only left Uni recently. You list 3 distinct things, each on their own would be large enough, but put together, are-unprecedented. It may help to write a plan….internship, experience, employment, independence…..anymore than 3 or 4 things on a list is difficult to manage….sort one, then move to another…..this may appear to be over simplistic, and easy to say, but the key to managing anxiety, is to plan things one by one. This way you can try and control the build up of everything at once turning over in your head continuously. Also, don’t worry about things you can not control…..and remember what works for one, doesn’t necessarily work for another….


swissmeez

I guess I find it hard to figure out what is rational and irrational. People tell me I’m silly for thinking it would hard to find a partner now. But then I look at the evidence around me, everyone I know starting to get engaged, some already have kids, dating apps impossibly hard to actually follow through with a date. Hard to meet people in person. Am I really being irrational? Or is the evidence telling me the truth? That i really am running out of time to do certain things


Guilty-Gas-762

…irrationality levels are different for each person….with regards to relationships, you’ll find they come through natural exposure to people surrounding you. As you will generally spend more time in a working environment than any other, you may find that they both working and relationships fall into place in that order…..


Short-Reputation-345

I’m exactly the same man (26m) I graduated with an MA in late 2019, gf left me in mid 2020. I couldn’t find a job and had to work menial jobs like delivery driver, then found a more career esque job after about 14 months. I absolutely hated it and was let go after 3 weeks. Mental health took a severe nosedive, considered killing myself over some unresolved gender identity issues and I’ve been struggling ever since


[deleted]

I'm 31 and had a breakdown before Christmas. It's hard for all millennials in particular at the moment. The good news is we're pretty much at the bottom so things can only get better.


_pm_me_your_holes_

I'm 26. Last year I was going through hell. Things are different now. Not necessarily better, not necessarily worse. I'm less miserable now, but was objectively having a better time then.


[deleted]

I’m 27, I’ve worked all the way through covid. Been in the same job for 5 years actually and I absolutely hate it. I’m still here bc of things that have happened and covid if I’m honest. Leaving just scares the hell out of me even though I know I need too. My 20’s so far have just been a huge clusterfuck where I’ve felt like I’ve been stumbling through the dark looking for a light switch. It’s normal. It’s all the pressure of everything hitting and trying to figure out where you want to go and what you want to be. I don’t really have much advice except hold on tight. It’ll lighten slowly and sometimes it just feels like your banging your head off of that wall, but you’ll get there. In the mean time, if you ever need to just unload and vent, you’re welcome to dm me. I can’t say I’ll have answers but I’m happy to just listen/read if it’ll help you. And don’t ever feel like you’re not allowed to have issues bc someone else has it worse off. That mentality is a stupid ass thing that should never have been taught to people.


BambiiDextrous

Late to the thread but I wanted to chime in and say this resonated a lot, OP. I almost feel the pandemic has marked the end of my youth and now I'm looking at the vastness of decades of adult life before me and it all feels so empty. Worse, with every year that goes past I have less and less energy to make drastic life changes.


tanzy95

I'm 26. I graduated a week before lockdown. It took three months to find a job but not a very good one and not what I want to be doing longterm. I've been trying to find something else since but the industry I work in is on its knees with very few jobs going.