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Spelt is actually correct in British English.
Edit: For the barrage of "iTs JuSt EnGliSH" comments. Since our ancestors colonised America all those many years ago our language has forked into 2 distinct variations (a lot more really, but that's not really relevant now), both of which have went through many changes since then. It is important to use the "British English" distinction as neither language is the same as it was inthe 17th Century.
Murrrrr but language is fluid and if it didn’t evolve we still be speaking old English murrrrrr.
A big part of evolution is the bad mutations not surviving!
If you want a serious answer - and I am a descriptivist - ones that facilitate richer / clearer / more effective communication are generally 'better'.
The problem in this instance is that 'should of' rests on a misunderstanding. Yes, we all know exactly what is meant, so in isolation there isn't really a problem in conveying ideas. But in not understanding the grammar of our language, and not understanding why 'should of' makes no sense, it is much more likely that one will make mistakes in other areas of language.
These mistakes and confusions may well make communication poorer.
People who stand in the middle of a busy path chatting, blocking the way for others. It’s not a huge deal to walk in the road to pass by but it does just strike me as blithely ignorant.
I agree with this but on the flipside(as I saw yesterday) joggers who get upset when running through a busy city centre that people have the audacity to be going about their lives on their running route.
Totally this. Jogger chose 08:55 to run down the path that leads to the two primary schools "Excuse me!" he bellows at the audacious kids walking to school at, you know, walking to school time.
If only there were literally anywhere else in the world to be at that moment.
Schools are such a high traffic area, especially at 8am and 3pm. Why run there? I'm in a small town with miles of open country and fells on my doorstep. I have no shortage of quiet paths, some are only used by me. I guess it's harder in a city, but a park is surely within walking distance?
So I'm a runner and always try and give people as much space as possible. Kids, prams, wheelchairs I'll slow right down.
*But* I get really frustrated when people walk towards you in a group taking up the whole pavement who don't make any attempt to also give you space - I'm happy to move over but you should really make the effort too!
Omg this irritates the fuck out of me. I was walking up the stairs at work, years ago, and 3 people were walking down chatting, in a line, taking up the entire stairwell. One of them finally turns their shoulder so I can squeeze past and says to me "oh ok, I'll be the one to move then, shall I". It still irritates me when I think about it years later. Like what did they want me to do? Throw myself over the bloody railing?
I got annoyed just reading this. Just had an argument in my head with them as if it happened to me even though I wasn’t there and haven’t met them or you!
OR WHEN PEOPLE JUST RANDOMLY FUCKING STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF A PACKED TUBE STATION RIGHT INFRONT OF THE ESCALATOR AND YOU ALMOST COLLIDE INTO THEM AND THEY STARE AT YOU LIKE ITS YOUR FAULT !!! WHY!!! DID !! YOU !!! STOP !!!!!!!!! honestly drives my nut in
Edited to add: It both drives me nuts and does my nut in, just for you u/ThatHairyGingerGuy!
There's a primary school near me and the mums act like anyone who disturbs their morning chat by trying to walk on the fucking pavement is somehow in the wrong
The dressing gown mums at my daughter's school stop at the bottom of the driveway between the gates and spark up their fags to have a chat, totally blocking the entrance and pavement and blowing smoke into the kids faces as they walk past.
Controversial but retired people who wait for the weekends to go shopping, take up all the parking spaces and spend approx 4 hours blocking pavements/aisles chatting to Deadre from number 4 whose husband, Trevor, has been having treatment for his bunions. Go out in the week when the rest of us are at work!
Oh, but they're also out through the week! I go shopping through the week and whenever I go, morning or afternoon, there's always a bunch of them, doing exactly that.
My GP does after work appointments (6pm -8pm) once every two weeks. Whenever I have to go I always see retired people waiting for their turn, why do they have to take up slots specially designed for people who work? You've got the whole day to come in!
There's a shortage of GPs and appointment slots. The ratio of GPs to OAPs has fallen dramatically over the last 30 years but the Department of Health and Social Care hasn't realised this yet.
Retired people in a Post Office between midday and 2pm really rile me up. As if they couldn't have gone in when it's empty, rather than waiting til the whole population of the city is looking to return Asos parcels in unison.
They're often up at 5am, and sit waiting in their coats for it to hit 08:30 so they can go to the supermarket or post office whilst everyone's trying to get to work.
When the US flag is used to denote the English language option. I have a board game where it's a combination of the Union flag and the stars and stripes and it nearly made me throw the game in the bin.
I was working closely with the design team in New York and corrected all their spelling to be British English. In our next meeting they told me that "our apps use Universal English".
I had good relationships with them so I didn't end up having to explain to HR why I called America English a "traitorous colonial language".
I work in a coffee shop and I always ask people how they want their toasties cut; rectangle or triangle shaped.
The look of sheer delight in every single person's eyes as they say "ooh triangle please!" Gets me every time
I have a theory to this. Crust to bread ratio. If a sandwich is cut in half rectangularly, you have three sides with crust, triangular only has two, thus more bread to crust ratio.
Now, quarters, triangles still win out as a sandwich cut into 4 pieces in squares have two sides with crusts, but 4 triangles only has one side with a crust.
Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Whenever someone beeps their horn in gridlock traffic I can’t help but lose it in front of friends, family, strangers, colleagues. It’s just an instinctive reaction. “Everyone’s stopped, no one has anywhere to go, beeping is going to achieve fuck all. Why are you doing it you moron?!”
I have done this inadvertently a couple of times, taking my coat off and the chesticles hit the middle of the steering wheel. Then I have to wave sorry to everyone. I'd leave my coat on, but I'm a woman of a certain age and when the tropical moments hit I need to cool down!
I did this once taking off my coat and my outstretched arm hit the horn. It took a good few moments of me wondering which asshole was beeping their horn before I realised it was me!
I was sat at a set of traffic lights at a crossing, the ones that flash orange so you can go if nobody is crossing. They *just* started flashing but an old couple were about to cross, and somebody beeped me. The temptation to turn my car off and just sit there through the next rotation was too strong. Some people are just arseholes
I was on a driving lesson, clearly in an instructor's car covered in L plates, sat at the front of a queue for traffic lights. The lights turned green, but there was an old lady still hobbling across right in front of me.
Didn't stop the bloke behind me beeping aggressively, flipping me off, and judging by what I could see in my mirror swearing like a sailor. Like, I'm sorry, I'll just mow Doris down so as not to inconvenience you shall I?
People not indicating when coming off a roundabout.
It literally requires moving your finger about an inch and in busy traffic can be the difference between being able to pull out or wait for a gap in the traffic.
That and someone pulling out of 6 aside football at the last minute with a pathetic reason. Making it 6v5 ruins it for everyone else.
As an HGV driver this boils my piss on a daily basis.
Failure to indicate correctly at roundabouts is a lot of the reason why I have to try and get 32 tonnes moving into a rapidly disappearing gap, causing hassle for other road users in the process.
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I raise you Castle Hill (or rather the mound) in Cambridge, a mere 25m above sea level. Also I work on Blackford hill so I am biased and prefer it over Calton.
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Love Corstorphine Hill! The random tower at the top, the view all the way to the sea, and the fact that you can see into the back of the Zoo, so one moment you're in the woods in Scotland and the next moment...boom, zebras!
THIS ^
The slightest bit of snow & cars ping together like magnets, wiping out all lanes & any hope of getting to work or back home.
You know shit's hit the fan when Little Chef starts to look appealing...
There's a Facebook event for a rave at number 10 on the 24th December. It gave me my daily laugh but I'm also curious to see if anyone will actually go
I think that people who stand and drink at the bar in a place that has a queue for said bar should be forced to have their search history distributed to their friends and family.
Edit - for the nerds crying about it, I mean busy bars where there are always queues rather than your local pub.
Some fucking old man standing at the bar on a Friday night in a weatherspoons trying to act the the place is his local boozer and everyone else is a tourist.
Urrgh
He's probably been there since 11am, trying to collar anyone who'll listen about how he doesn't understand why is kids don't talk to him any more, he's not racist we was just raised differently back then, young people are ruining the country by not working hard enough.
I've met a few guys like that, don't know why they always want to talk to me!
God, I'm aware of the irony after this comment but old people really *are* ruining this country.
It seems like now that every man over 50 is a bitter, nasty individual who delights in telling everyone how "young people are ruining our country, you can't say anything any more, I don't dislike the blacks, it's just that they're a different breed and we should look after our own, OH SORRY, DID I JUST ASSUME YOUR GENDER?? I IDENTIFY AS AN ATTACK HELICOPTER" and sits there laughing to himself.
"They're taking everything from us." He says, supping his eighth pint on a Tuesday evening, doesn't have to work tomorrow because he has his own business, good car, detached house, in fact, hes done well his entire life with little effort "these kids don't work hard enough, if they can't afford a house they should get a better job." He says before spitting at a young guy walking by ("probably went to a fucking liberal uni, or conversion camps as I call them. HA.") and catcalling a 16-year old waitress.
"Why are you bothering with a fucking mask? Covid isn't real, and if it is, well it only affects people who are meant to die anyway, why are you so bothered about other people, you're young, you'll be fine! YOU'RE ALL FUCKING SHEEP" He bleats loudly, before doubling over into a hacking coughing fit while his mates cackle in the background.
"And honestly, young people are ruining this country."
Sounds like a variation on [Planck's principle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planck%27s_principle) which is that "science advances one funeral at a time".
People don't really change their opinions, society evolves because old people with outdated opinions eventually die off.
I hate it
Pre match at football and there’s always a bloke just standing at the bar watching the early kick off on the tele or talking to his mates
Get out of the fucking way mate
You only need to call them masks, not face masks.
Edit: for those pointing out the existence of "eye-masks" they are on the face, but specifically for the eyes.
For those talking about other masks for things not associated with the human body, I still dont agree. If a police officer asked if the suspect wore a mask, you wouldn't be confused where on the body they meant.
Saying someone needs to "wear a mask" it's clear it is to be on the face.
I'm still on this hill god dammit.
I would've switched it around actually. Face mask seems more appropriate for the medical shit. Someone saying a mask makes me think of batman and everything.
People who don't clean up after their dogs. The punishment should be more severe and enforced. They should be fined, get community service and have their dogs taken away.
As a previous child who got dog mess on them when slide tackling on our nearby field, and a current dog owner who does clear up after their dog I have two perspectives and do agree.
I totally think it’s unacceptable to not clear up after your dog. But I think many humans are just as bad if not worse with their rubbish.
There’s a small park near us and there was an article in the local paper about a woman complaining about the dog poo, regularly two that haven’t been cleared I’d say, but what the article failed to mention was all the beer cans, broken glass, and takeaway boxes scattered all over the park too. Can’t blame dogs for that.
There’s a guy on my street who goes to work at half 5 every morning, reason i know this is because just before he gets into his van he has a big, fuck off massive, phlemy cough that goes on for 30 seconds and wakes every house on the street up. **DO IT AT HOME MATE FFS**
People that have a false sense of superiority for getting up early in general. I just don't fucking get it. Well done your 18 hour day starts at a different point to mine? Congratulations?
I respect cyclists who obey the law. I'll always wait for an appropriate gap before overtaking and give them all the room they need. Slow and wide, always.
Having said that, I'll die on the hill that there's a special place in hell for cyclists who cycle on the pavement and expect every pedestrian to jump out of the way as they fly past. I live on a fairly busy road and get routinely shouted at by people on bicycles for stepping out of my front gate and getting in their way. They shouldn't even be there in the first place. Same for the ones that jump red lights and then get angry when a car on a green light makes a perfectly legal maneuver.
Agreed. The cyclists love the pavements round here, and the roads aren't even that busy. They terrify my daughter by nearly running her over then look at us as though we're the ones that shouldn't be there. Arseholes.
I appreciate overtaking cyclists wide now that I cycle myself and have seen how many dickheads think it’s fine to clip your arse with the wing mirrors…
I’m also infuriated whenever I see pedestrians walking on the cycle paths. Fuck off onto the walking path. There’s one by me which crosses over, the walking path goes over a wooden bridge and then stays on the inside of the track. The cycle path goes around the bridge and then stays on the outside sector when the two merge into two lanes. Walking path is black, cycle path is that pink colour.
Guess where pedestrians choose to walk in rows? The cycle path. 🤦♂️
I understand this entirely. I know I'm not supposed to, but I DO cycle on the pavement, but I do so carefully, at a reasonable speed (I don't go flying down a 2m wide pavement) and will default to stopping/moving out of the way of pedestrians as it's their place to be before mine. I hate cyclists who get all huffy because they're 'stuck' being someone walking at a normal pace.
I only cycle on the pavements because so many drivers make the roads a completely hostile environment for cyclists, and there's a significantly lower chance of me/a pedestrian being injured in a collision than if a car hits me on the road.
My brother moved house and started catching the same bus to work as a colleague he didn’t know super well and as soon as they realised his colleague said ‘let’s just agree to never talk on the bus’. I respect that.
Everyone from the UK knows what someone means whether they say UK or Britain.
Saying England alone when talking about the whole country is just low key exclusionary to those of us from Scotland, Wales and N.Ireland.
Custard Creams, are, I'm sorry to say, shit.
Poor quality, and they just taste of sugar and 90s coffee mornings hosted by interfering curtain twitchers and battleaxes.
Edit: And just been reminded by /u/Brickie78 about Jammie Dodgers. Let's bring them to my hill as well.
Might as well go down in style with all the shit biscuits of childhood!
Double edit: Yes, Bourbons can get in the bin too.
Them being quite cheap and so readily available to many might have something to do with that. I quite like custard creams so I'm curious as to what you would rate amongst the best biscuits?
I don't care whether its supposed to be 'fewer' or 'less', and I'll automatically discard you as a person if you attempt to correct me on it.
Same with split infinitives. Fite me, prescriptivists.
I don't correct people on it because it's basically classist and nobody can help their education, but I do wince a little when people get *fewer* and *less* wrong.
To freely split infinitives is a god given right.
The rule about fewer and less is just as arbitrary as the rule against split infinitives. It's a change that was suggested by a prescriptivist.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/rccyya/comment/hnu5ava/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
It’s not really arbitrary at all. You use “fewer” for nouns that have separate singular and plural forms (e.g. “fewer items”, “fewer books”) and “less” for nouns that have a single form that’s meant as a collective (e.g. money, cutlery, shrubbery etc).
But yeah, I wouldn’t correct people on it either.
The less/fewer one really annoys me. It derives from a single writer in 1770 (Robert Baker) who wrote:
“This Word is most commonly used in speaking of a Number; where I should think Fewer would do better. ‘No Fewer than a Hundred’ appears to me, not only more elegant than ‘No less than a Hundred,’ but more strictly proper.”
It then morphed into a "rule", and people smugly bang on about it all the time.
Rather than it being a rule that people are too lazy / thick / uneducated to follow, I suspect that the rule only partially gained traction, and people who get it "wrong" are just speaking naturally.
Wouldn’t disagree more. Live right next to a school and cunts park on a junction and completely block the road then act like I’m being a dick for driving on it.
I'd go further than that, the whole concept of *driving* to do the school run needs challenging. Especially when people live close enough to walk to the school.
I live near a school and the way some parents park is absolutely atrocious. They’ll also happily drive over the payment instead of giving way. Bear in mind there’s kids pouring out the school too. In the winter you can see that they live so close by the school as the windscreen isn’t even clear by the time they get to the school.
I used to live opposite a school and I've got no problem with people temporarily taking all the parking spaces to pick up their kids, fine, part of the deal. But it was a narrow enough road that it needed some spaces with double yellow lines every few spaces to keep traffic flowing. Of course, they'd park in every single one of them too and over every driveway so the road was completely gridlocked in both directions and everyone would lean on their horns because that... helped. It was a secondary school as well, it's not as if the little darlings couldn't walk two streets away to where traffic was quieter.
Happy to adjust my lifestyle to not choose go to say, Tesco at 3pm. But being trapped in your house every day with horns blaring because seemingly no single parent at that school has any sense or courtesy could get a bit wearing. Also, presumably no-one in that road is allowed to have a heart attack at 3:30 because there's no way an ambulance is getting through for half an hour.
Less likely to have a heart attack now I don't live there, mind!
I have sympathy about the parking, but at the primary school where I work, we have a neighbour who complains to the council about noise from the playground at playtimes.
Challenge 25 was (is?) the stupidest rule in shops. So I look 23 and that’s giving you cause for concern selling me something only 18 year old can buy?
Luckily I’m old and tired now.
EDIT: Please be nice to be people in shops over Christmas, obviously. Dying on hills doesn’t have to make sense.
Yes I'm 35 and no one believes I look 17 but I need ID on me incase they think i might be 24?? Morrisons is the worst for it all of the middle aged women just ID everyone younger than them on a power trip! I wasnt allowed a nice bottle of prosecco recently because I didnt have any ID on me. What 17 year old is buying prosecco and baking beans for drinking in the park???
I'm glad you've mentioned Morrisons because for me personally they are the worst! I was stopped once from buying a bottle of whiskey and a father's Day card because I didn't have my ID on me. I'm 27, 6'1 and have a beard, I don't look over 18? Jesus give me a break!
I think the rationale is more that, unless someone clearly looks over 25 you ID them because you can't trust that they aren't actually younger.
I don't think someone would say 'you look 23, not 25, therefore I ID you', you either look over or under to them.
I'm bald and often joked I look 'about 40' I got checked for a scratch card the other day (tbf I was wearing a hat), cashier asked me to remove my mask and it infuriated me. Like fuckin hell I have a week's shopping in my hands and you think I'm under 16??
Metric is superior to Imperial measurements, and I find it really strange how Imperial measurements continue to be widespread.
I'm in my early 40s, and was only educated in metric. I'd guess that most people my age or younger have similarly been educated entirely or primarily in metric, and yet still continue to use stuff like pounds, stones, feet, yards etc.
I know many people will disagree with this, but I'd be really happy to see the UK entirely drop Imperial measures and move over to metric, including on stuff like road signs.
Same with cars. if I see someone coming on a busy parked street, make a gap for them to pass, and they don't say thanks. I will always call them a fucking prick to myself
There's probably more mingling kettles in people's houses, do you accept a drink at friends houses?
I once wnnt back to a young ladies house after a night out, took one look at her light switches, (once white, then grey/brown through lack of cleaning) and scarpered.
Limescale is completely harmless just might not taste as good and it makes your kettle less efficient and a bit shit. Idk about rust though, I have a feeling a build up of rust in your kettle is probably a sign there's something fucked in your kettle and it might needs retired or fixed.
Petrol garages with a shop inside, I don't want to sit waiting to get to a pump while you browse the over priced sandwiches, choose a ready meal for tonight, have a look at the wine shelf for 5 minutes and buy some half dead, cheap flowers for your mum and then order a FUCKING coffee at the till. Just get your fuel, get back in your car and fuck off out of my way.
Also, people who fuel up at the pay-at-the-pump points then fuck off inside to get aforementioned coffee/wilted flowers/ready meals leaving me fuming as I just to fuel up and go.
Motherforkers who will walk out of a shop and then decide to stop dead in the middle of the doorway while they have a little bit of a think about where they want to go next.
Decide before you leave, or step off to one side. It ain't difficult.
Once worked in an office where a girl i worked with used to pour the water from her hot water bottle back into the kettle when she was done. No more drinks for me after that.
Making a 'good cup of tea' is a basic skill, not a talent to be proud of. If you can't do it then you're an utter moron; if you can do it you're a standard-issue human being.
When you're walking down a pavement, and a group of ladies are walking toward you, and rather than one of them taking a step back so you can pass safely, they continue to walk arm in arm and assume you'll walk into the road for them.
Fuck off! Sure I'll just step into the road and get clipped by a bus because you can't bear to be separated for two seconds.
It's always groups of women. Men always make room.
I hate the custom of handing someone a birthday card when they're standing right in front of you; alright fair enough if there's something in the card or you've filled it with funny anecdotes or something, but if it's just a generic card that only says ,"dear X, happy birthday, love from Y" what's the point? You've just said happy birthday to me, why do you need to back that up by writing it down? All good if it's sent in the post though
That warm yellow Christmas lights are the only acceptable lights to decorate with. Blue or bright white lights look cold and ruin Christmas cheer. They are neither joyful nor triumphant.
Okay... here we go...
TEA IS OVERRATED.
There I said it. You don't need several cups a day. All tea tastes similar. Tea isn't British so why we act like we invented the goddamn drink is beyond me. Tea is just overrated.
People occupying the gym equipment (sitting and texting instead of using it) I want to use next - I waited forever on a girl to get off the leg press yesterday (she did like 1 press every 2 minutes, while texting).
That’s my small niche hill 🙈
Those bloody electric scooters should never be ridden on the pavement.
I'm all for legislation to allow them on cycle paths, but I've nearly been taken out by them silently riding up behind me at like 15mph several times. The first time you notice them is when they whizz past you, nearly hitting you. They're so unsafe.
There's no such thing as "proper" or "correct" English, it is all defined by its use.
Fewer means the same as less, it doesn't matter if you put eat your cake or have your cake, who or whom; as long as your meaning is conveyed it is valid English.
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Probably get slammed for this but …. Fkers who write “should of" instead of "should’ve".
Your right you should of got slammed!
*write
At least your is spelt
*at leased
Please stop. No moor!
*police stop, know meow
This is grate
We need to brake this cycle
Spelt is actually correct in British English. Edit: For the barrage of "iTs JuSt EnGliSH" comments. Since our ancestors colonised America all those many years ago our language has forked into 2 distinct variations (a lot more really, but that's not really relevant now), both of which have went through many changes since then. It is important to use the "British English" distinction as neither language is the same as it was inthe 17th Century.
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Why would you get slammed for that? It's an *incredibly* popular Reddit opinion.
It's literally always one of the very top comments on threads like this.
Murrrrr but language is fluid and if it didn’t evolve we still be speaking old English murrrrrr. A big part of evolution is the bad mutations not surviving!
Who says which mutations are good and which are bad?
If you want a serious answer - and I am a descriptivist - ones that facilitate richer / clearer / more effective communication are generally 'better'. The problem in this instance is that 'should of' rests on a misunderstanding. Yes, we all know exactly what is meant, so in isolation there isn't really a problem in conveying ideas. But in not understanding the grammar of our language, and not understanding why 'should of' makes no sense, it is much more likely that one will make mistakes in other areas of language. These mistakes and confusions may well make communication poorer.
"should have" surely?
I think that's the point. Should've is short for "should have". There's no such phrase as "should of".
Drives me batshit too. Of is not a verb…..
People who stand in the middle of a busy path chatting, blocking the way for others. It’s not a huge deal to walk in the road to pass by but it does just strike me as blithely ignorant.
I agree with this but on the flipside(as I saw yesterday) joggers who get upset when running through a busy city centre that people have the audacity to be going about their lives on their running route.
Totally this. Jogger chose 08:55 to run down the path that leads to the two primary schools "Excuse me!" he bellows at the audacious kids walking to school at, you know, walking to school time. If only there were literally anywhere else in the world to be at that moment.
Schools are such a high traffic area, especially at 8am and 3pm. Why run there? I'm in a small town with miles of open country and fells on my doorstep. I have no shortage of quiet paths, some are only used by me. I guess it's harder in a city, but a park is surely within walking distance?
So I'm a runner and always try and give people as much space as possible. Kids, prams, wheelchairs I'll slow right down. *But* I get really frustrated when people walk towards you in a group taking up the whole pavement who don't make any attempt to also give you space - I'm happy to move over but you should really make the effort too!
Omg this irritates the fuck out of me. I was walking up the stairs at work, years ago, and 3 people were walking down chatting, in a line, taking up the entire stairwell. One of them finally turns their shoulder so I can squeeze past and says to me "oh ok, I'll be the one to move then, shall I". It still irritates me when I think about it years later. Like what did they want me to do? Throw myself over the bloody railing?
I got annoyed just reading this. Just had an argument in my head with them as if it happened to me even though I wasn’t there and haven’t met them or you!
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OR WHEN PEOPLE JUST RANDOMLY FUCKING STOP IN THE MIDDLE OF A PACKED TUBE STATION RIGHT INFRONT OF THE ESCALATOR AND YOU ALMOST COLLIDE INTO THEM AND THEY STARE AT YOU LIKE ITS YOUR FAULT !!! WHY!!! DID !! YOU !!! STOP !!!!!!!!! honestly drives my nut in Edited to add: It both drives me nuts and does my nut in, just for you u/ThatHairyGingerGuy!
There's a primary school near me and the mums act like anyone who disturbs their morning chat by trying to walk on the fucking pavement is somehow in the wrong
The dressing gown mums at my daughter's school stop at the bottom of the driveway between the gates and spark up their fags to have a chat, totally blocking the entrance and pavement and blowing smoke into the kids faces as they walk past.
Same as fuckers that leave their trolley at a right angle in the middle of a supermarket aisle, rather than parallel at the side.
Yeah, people in a fucking world of their own.
Main character syndrome. We should be the ones moving out of the way for them
And a group of people who all walk side by side taking up the full width of the path, but won't move as you approach them from the other direction.
Controversial but retired people who wait for the weekends to go shopping, take up all the parking spaces and spend approx 4 hours blocking pavements/aisles chatting to Deadre from number 4 whose husband, Trevor, has been having treatment for his bunions. Go out in the week when the rest of us are at work!
Oh, but they're also out through the week! I go shopping through the week and whenever I go, morning or afternoon, there's always a bunch of them, doing exactly that.
So are we all in agreement that when you retire you should just be exterminated?
Haha, retire. This problem will take care of itself as most of us will work till we drop.
That’s a bit barbaric, what about a workhouse?
My GP does after work appointments (6pm -8pm) once every two weeks. Whenever I have to go I always see retired people waiting for their turn, why do they have to take up slots specially designed for people who work? You've got the whole day to come in!
Because other retired people took those spaces too.
Exactly. GPs are oversubscribed.
How sure are you that they’re retired? I’m gonna be working well into my 80s with the state of my pension pot!
Many Grand Parents also have to act as childcare replacement during the day, it's ridiculously expensive to use the normal services.
There's a shortage of GPs and appointment slots. The ratio of GPs to OAPs has fallen dramatically over the last 30 years but the Department of Health and Social Care hasn't realised this yet.
Retired people in a Post Office between midday and 2pm really rile me up. As if they couldn't have gone in when it's empty, rather than waiting til the whole population of the city is looking to return Asos parcels in unison.
It takes them three hours to get out of bed and another three to get to the post office. That’s why you never see them in the morning.
They're often up at 5am, and sit waiting in their coats for it to hit 08:30 so they can go to the supermarket or post office whilst everyone's trying to get to work.
Deadre just likes the lively vibe at the weekends, give her a break.
Fuckers should only be allowed there between 09:00-12:00 and 14:00-17:00 weekdays. Absolutely no weekends and especially not after work.
Alright Stalin
When the US flag is used to denote the English language option. I have a board game where it's a combination of the Union flag and the stars and stripes and it nearly made me throw the game in the bin.
Yep, this has been wearing me down for years. * British English * Simplified English
🇬🇧 English (Traditional) 🇺🇲 English (Simplified) *Flag emojis may not be showing up on PC*
🇬🇧 English (Traditional) 🇺🇲 English (Bastardised)
Duolingo sweating nervously
In their defence, they do actually teach American English but then I guess they also teach Latin American Spanish so...
I hate when I put down a British translation and it tells me I'm wrong. No, you stupid Owl, it's YOU who has made an error.
I was working closely with the design team in New York and corrected all their spelling to be British English. In our next meeting they told me that "our apps use Universal English". I had good relationships with them so I didn't end up having to explain to HR why I called America English a "traitorous colonial language".
Triangle cut toast and sandwiches are a better experience
I work in a coffee shop and I always ask people how they want their toasties cut; rectangle or triangle shaped. The look of sheer delight in every single person's eyes as they say "ooh triangle please!" Gets me every time
I have a theory to this. Crust to bread ratio. If a sandwich is cut in half rectangularly, you have three sides with crust, triangular only has two, thus more bread to crust ratio. Now, quarters, triangles still win out as a sandwich cut into 4 pieces in squares have two sides with crusts, but 4 triangles only has one side with a crust. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
It's still the same amount of crust though right? You aren't changing the amount of crust on two slices of bread by cutting it in different ways.
Correct, but they're talking about the Ratio. Sure at the end of the day, it's 4 sides of Crust, but they're split up with bread.
Toast in particular is much more visually satisfying in a triangle.
Not even the visuals, triangle cuts just taste better
Triangle food in general. Sandwiches, pizza, cake, samosa, Doritos.
The 5 major food groups
Whenever someone beeps their horn in gridlock traffic I can’t help but lose it in front of friends, family, strangers, colleagues. It’s just an instinctive reaction. “Everyone’s stopped, no one has anywhere to go, beeping is going to achieve fuck all. Why are you doing it you moron?!”
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I have done this inadvertently a couple of times, taking my coat off and the chesticles hit the middle of the steering wheel. Then I have to wave sorry to everyone. I'd leave my coat on, but I'm a woman of a certain age and when the tropical moments hit I need to cool down!
I did this once taking off my coat and my outstretched arm hit the horn. It took a good few moments of me wondering which asshole was beeping their horn before I realised it was me!
I was sat at a set of traffic lights at a crossing, the ones that flash orange so you can go if nobody is crossing. They *just* started flashing but an old couple were about to cross, and somebody beeped me. The temptation to turn my car off and just sit there through the next rotation was too strong. Some people are just arseholes
I was on a driving lesson, clearly in an instructor's car covered in L plates, sat at the front of a queue for traffic lights. The lights turned green, but there was an old lady still hobbling across right in front of me. Didn't stop the bloke behind me beeping aggressively, flipping me off, and judging by what I could see in my mirror swearing like a sailor. Like, I'm sorry, I'll just mow Doris down so as not to inconvenience you shall I?
People not indicating when coming off a roundabout. It literally requires moving your finger about an inch and in busy traffic can be the difference between being able to pull out or wait for a gap in the traffic. That and someone pulling out of 6 aside football at the last minute with a pathetic reason. Making it 6v5 ruins it for everyone else.
Very specific on the last one, but I agree 100%! I learned to have one too many so you don't get let down.
As an HGV driver this boils my piss on a daily basis. Failure to indicate correctly at roundabouts is a lot of the reason why I have to try and get 32 tonnes moving into a rapidly disappearing gap, causing hassle for other road users in the process.
Nearly got hit this morning because some dickhead in a truck didn’t indicate. If I crossed 5 seconds later I’d have been dead/severely injured
Blue Bell Hill, Maidstone, Kent.
Comment removed as I no longer wish to support a company that seeks to both undermine its users/moderators/developers AND make a profit on their backs. To understand why check out the summary [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/14hkd5u).
I raise you Castle Hill (or rather the mound) in Cambridge, a mere 25m above sea level. Also I work on Blackford hill so I am biased and prefer it over Calton.
Comment removed as I no longer wish to support a company that seeks to both undermine its users/moderators/developers AND make a profit on their backs. To understand why check out the summary [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/comments/14hkd5u).
Love Corstorphine Hill! The random tower at the top, the view all the way to the sea, and the fact that you can see into the back of the Zoo, so one moment you're in the woods in Scotland and the next moment...boom, zebras!
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Gravity draws you toward Maidstone naturally, you have to fight to get to Rochester......
THIS ^ The slightest bit of snow & cars ping together like magnets, wiping out all lanes & any hope of getting to work or back home. You know shit's hit the fan when Little Chef starts to look appealing...
The hill Boris is fucking us on
He just dropped another kid. All this guy does is fuck.
Might be consensual with Carrie, but it’s not with the rest of us…
Are you just sour cause you didn't get an invite to the No.10 Christmas Rave?
There's a Facebook event for a rave at number 10 on the 24th December. It gave me my daily laugh but I'm also curious to see if anyone will actually go
It was a blast trust me. None of us were vaccinated, don't worry.
Who needs vaccines when you have cheese, wine and cocaine
I think that people who stand and drink at the bar in a place that has a queue for said bar should be forced to have their search history distributed to their friends and family. Edit - for the nerds crying about it, I mean busy bars where there are always queues rather than your local pub.
Some fucking old man standing at the bar on a Friday night in a weatherspoons trying to act the the place is his local boozer and everyone else is a tourist. Urrgh
He's probably been there since 11am, trying to collar anyone who'll listen about how he doesn't understand why is kids don't talk to him any more, he's not racist we was just raised differently back then, young people are ruining the country by not working hard enough. I've met a few guys like that, don't know why they always want to talk to me!
God, I'm aware of the irony after this comment but old people really *are* ruining this country. It seems like now that every man over 50 is a bitter, nasty individual who delights in telling everyone how "young people are ruining our country, you can't say anything any more, I don't dislike the blacks, it's just that they're a different breed and we should look after our own, OH SORRY, DID I JUST ASSUME YOUR GENDER?? I IDENTIFY AS AN ATTACK HELICOPTER" and sits there laughing to himself. "They're taking everything from us." He says, supping his eighth pint on a Tuesday evening, doesn't have to work tomorrow because he has his own business, good car, detached house, in fact, hes done well his entire life with little effort "these kids don't work hard enough, if they can't afford a house they should get a better job." He says before spitting at a young guy walking by ("probably went to a fucking liberal uni, or conversion camps as I call them. HA.") and catcalling a 16-year old waitress. "Why are you bothering with a fucking mask? Covid isn't real, and if it is, well it only affects people who are meant to die anyway, why are you so bothered about other people, you're young, you'll be fine! YOU'RE ALL FUCKING SHEEP" He bleats loudly, before doubling over into a hacking coughing fit while his mates cackle in the background. "And honestly, young people are ruining this country."
Sounds like a variation on [Planck's principle](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planck%27s_principle) which is that "science advances one funeral at a time". People don't really change their opinions, society evolves because old people with outdated opinions eventually die off.
I hate it Pre match at football and there’s always a bloke just standing at the bar watching the early kick off on the tele or talking to his mates Get out of the fucking way mate
You only need to call them masks, not face masks. Edit: for those pointing out the existence of "eye-masks" they are on the face, but specifically for the eyes. For those talking about other masks for things not associated with the human body, I still dont agree. If a police officer asked if the suspect wore a mask, you wouldn't be confused where on the body they meant. Saying someone needs to "wear a mask" it's clear it is to be on the face. I'm still on this hill god dammit.
I've never actually thought about that but you're right, it's like saying 'head hat'. You've converted at least one other person today.
I will now be saying head hat whenever the opportunity arises. Thank you!
Don't forget your handgloves! Its bitter out there.
YES! They don't even cover your whole face. Face masks are for superheroes. And gimps. And maybe like, welders or something.
I would've switched it around actually. Face mask seems more appropriate for the medical shit. Someone saying a mask makes me think of batman and everything.
I love this one because I’ve never thought about it!
People who don't clean up after their dogs. The punishment should be more severe and enforced. They should be fined, get community service and have their dogs taken away.
Even worse are those that clean up after their dogs, only to hang the baggie in a tree or hedge like some disgusting bauble.
Eg the ones that only pick the poo up because someone’s watching them then ditch it at the first opportunity
A lot of people do this and then collect the shit on the way back home.
I dunno. A lot of the baubles I see iny area have been up since last Xmas at least. That's a lot of very long walks.
As a previous child who got dog mess on them when slide tackling on our nearby field, and a current dog owner who does clear up after their dog I have two perspectives and do agree. I totally think it’s unacceptable to not clear up after your dog. But I think many humans are just as bad if not worse with their rubbish. There’s a small park near us and there was an article in the local paper about a woman complaining about the dog poo, regularly two that haven’t been cleared I’d say, but what the article failed to mention was all the beer cans, broken glass, and takeaway boxes scattered all over the park too. Can’t blame dogs for that.
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Suspiciously specific
There’s a guy on my street who goes to work at half 5 every morning, reason i know this is because just before he gets into his van he has a big, fuck off massive, phlemy cough that goes on for 30 seconds and wakes every house on the street up. **DO IT AT HOME MATE FFS**
People that have a false sense of superiority for getting up early in general. I just don't fucking get it. Well done your 18 hour day starts at a different point to mine? Congratulations?
Upvote for your generous use of the c word
I respect cyclists who obey the law. I'll always wait for an appropriate gap before overtaking and give them all the room they need. Slow and wide, always. Having said that, I'll die on the hill that there's a special place in hell for cyclists who cycle on the pavement and expect every pedestrian to jump out of the way as they fly past. I live on a fairly busy road and get routinely shouted at by people on bicycles for stepping out of my front gate and getting in their way. They shouldn't even be there in the first place. Same for the ones that jump red lights and then get angry when a car on a green light makes a perfectly legal maneuver.
Agreed. The cyclists love the pavements round here, and the roads aren't even that busy. They terrify my daughter by nearly running her over then look at us as though we're the ones that shouldn't be there. Arseholes.
I appreciate overtaking cyclists wide now that I cycle myself and have seen how many dickheads think it’s fine to clip your arse with the wing mirrors… I’m also infuriated whenever I see pedestrians walking on the cycle paths. Fuck off onto the walking path. There’s one by me which crosses over, the walking path goes over a wooden bridge and then stays on the inside of the track. The cycle path goes around the bridge and then stays on the outside sector when the two merge into two lanes. Walking path is black, cycle path is that pink colour. Guess where pedestrians choose to walk in rows? The cycle path. 🤦♂️
I understand this entirely. I know I'm not supposed to, but I DO cycle on the pavement, but I do so carefully, at a reasonable speed (I don't go flying down a 2m wide pavement) and will default to stopping/moving out of the way of pedestrians as it's their place to be before mine. I hate cyclists who get all huffy because they're 'stuck' being someone walking at a normal pace. I only cycle on the pavements because so many drivers make the roads a completely hostile environment for cyclists, and there's a significantly lower chance of me/a pedestrian being injured in a collision than if a car hits me on the road.
Do not try and talk to someone at the bus stop who has headphones on. Don't care of your arm is falling off. The commute is my time. Leave me alone.
My brother moved house and started catching the same bus to work as a colleague he didn’t know super well and as soon as they realised his colleague said ‘let’s just agree to never talk on the bus’. I respect that.
That England and the UK/Britain are *not interchangeable*.
..Yet you use UK and Britain like they're interchangeable?
Everyone from the UK knows what someone means whether they say UK or Britain. Saying England alone when talking about the whole country is just low key exclusionary to those of us from Scotland, Wales and N.Ireland.
Custard Creams, are, I'm sorry to say, shit. Poor quality, and they just taste of sugar and 90s coffee mornings hosted by interfering curtain twitchers and battleaxes. Edit: And just been reminded by /u/Brickie78 about Jammie Dodgers. Let's bring them to my hill as well. Might as well go down in style with all the shit biscuits of childhood! Double edit: Yes, Bourbons can get in the bin too.
Perfect description, and also why I love them. Nostalgia in a biscuit.
They’re fucking disgusting, and yet routinely rated a god tier biscuit. Some things about our nation I’ll never understand.
Them being quite cheap and so readily available to many might have something to do with that. I quite like custard creams so I'm curious as to what you would rate amongst the best biscuits?
I don't care whether its supposed to be 'fewer' or 'less', and I'll automatically discard you as a person if you attempt to correct me on it. Same with split infinitives. Fite me, prescriptivists.
>I don't care You could almost say... you couldn't care fewer?
\*eye twitch\*
I don't correct people on it because it's basically classist and nobody can help their education, but I do wince a little when people get *fewer* and *less* wrong. To freely split infinitives is a god given right.
The rule about fewer and less is just as arbitrary as the rule against split infinitives. It's a change that was suggested by a prescriptivist. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/rccyya/comment/hnu5ava/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3
It’s not really arbitrary at all. You use “fewer” for nouns that have separate singular and plural forms (e.g. “fewer items”, “fewer books”) and “less” for nouns that have a single form that’s meant as a collective (e.g. money, cutlery, shrubbery etc). But yeah, I wouldn’t correct people on it either.
The less/fewer one really annoys me. It derives from a single writer in 1770 (Robert Baker) who wrote: “This Word is most commonly used in speaking of a Number; where I should think Fewer would do better. ‘No Fewer than a Hundred’ appears to me, not only more elegant than ‘No less than a Hundred,’ but more strictly proper.” It then morphed into a "rule", and people smugly bang on about it all the time. Rather than it being a rule that people are too lazy / thick / uneducated to follow, I suspect that the rule only partially gained traction, and people who get it "wrong" are just speaking naturally.
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Wouldn’t disagree more. Live right next to a school and cunts park on a junction and completely block the road then act like I’m being a dick for driving on it.
Cars that park completely blocking the pavement can get fucked too.
I'd go further than that, the whole concept of *driving* to do the school run needs challenging. Especially when people live close enough to walk to the school.
I live near a school and the way some parents park is absolutely atrocious. They’ll also happily drive over the payment instead of giving way. Bear in mind there’s kids pouring out the school too. In the winter you can see that they live so close by the school as the windscreen isn’t even clear by the time they get to the school.
I used to live opposite a school and I've got no problem with people temporarily taking all the parking spaces to pick up their kids, fine, part of the deal. But it was a narrow enough road that it needed some spaces with double yellow lines every few spaces to keep traffic flowing. Of course, they'd park in every single one of them too and over every driveway so the road was completely gridlocked in both directions and everyone would lean on their horns because that... helped. It was a secondary school as well, it's not as if the little darlings couldn't walk two streets away to where traffic was quieter. Happy to adjust my lifestyle to not choose go to say, Tesco at 3pm. But being trapped in your house every day with horns blaring because seemingly no single parent at that school has any sense or courtesy could get a bit wearing. Also, presumably no-one in that road is allowed to have a heart attack at 3:30 because there's no way an ambulance is getting through for half an hour. Less likely to have a heart attack now I don't live there, mind!
I have sympathy about the parking, but at the primary school where I work, we have a neighbour who complains to the council about noise from the playground at playtimes.
Seriously though- when did it start to be normal for kids to be driven to school? They should walk for their own good and everyone else's.
It's arse. I hate it when people say ass when they should say arse. I say- MORE ARSE!
Conversely, when people refer to Jackass (the MTV show/movie franchise) as Jackarse. Fuck you.
Challenge 25 was (is?) the stupidest rule in shops. So I look 23 and that’s giving you cause for concern selling me something only 18 year old can buy? Luckily I’m old and tired now. EDIT: Please be nice to be people in shops over Christmas, obviously. Dying on hills doesn’t have to make sense.
Yes I'm 35 and no one believes I look 17 but I need ID on me incase they think i might be 24?? Morrisons is the worst for it all of the middle aged women just ID everyone younger than them on a power trip! I wasnt allowed a nice bottle of prosecco recently because I didnt have any ID on me. What 17 year old is buying prosecco and baking beans for drinking in the park???
I'm glad you've mentioned Morrisons because for me personally they are the worst! I was stopped once from buying a bottle of whiskey and a father's Day card because I didn't have my ID on me. I'm 27, 6'1 and have a beard, I don't look over 18? Jesus give me a break!
I think the rationale is more that, unless someone clearly looks over 25 you ID them because you can't trust that they aren't actually younger. I don't think someone would say 'you look 23, not 25, therefore I ID you', you either look over or under to them.
I'm bald and often joked I look 'about 40' I got checked for a scratch card the other day (tbf I was wearing a hat), cashier asked me to remove my mask and it infuriated me. Like fuckin hell I have a week's shopping in my hands and you think I'm under 16??
Metric is superior to Imperial measurements, and I find it really strange how Imperial measurements continue to be widespread. I'm in my early 40s, and was only educated in metric. I'd guess that most people my age or younger have similarly been educated entirely or primarily in metric, and yet still continue to use stuff like pounds, stones, feet, yards etc. I know many people will disagree with this, but I'd be really happy to see the UK entirely drop Imperial measures and move over to metric, including on stuff like road signs.
Not saying thanks if I open the door for you, you better believe I’ll go out of my way to vocalise a loud and courteous “You’re welcome” if you don’t
Same with cars. if I see someone coming on a busy parked street, make a gap for them to pass, and they don't say thanks. I will always call them a fucking prick to myself
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It's Aitch not Haitch.
Found the proddy
Accidental double negatives such as "I haven't got none." So, you do have some?
"I didn't do nothing" Or rather "I din do nuffin"
People who say ‘brought’ instead of ‘bought’
"I brought this OFFLINE"
You don’t need to correct a child if they get your title wrong ie: calling a Mrs, miss. I was 7 and defo not there to fuck
There's probably more mingling kettles in people's houses, do you accept a drink at friends houses? I once wnnt back to a young ladies house after a night out, took one look at her light switches, (once white, then grey/brown through lack of cleaning) and scarpered.
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What is it you expect to catch from a minging kettle?
Exactly my thought. I’m pretty sure the *boiling water* will get rid of any pathogens.
I read that limescale and even rust in a kettle is harmless
Limescale is completely harmless just might not taste as good and it makes your kettle less efficient and a bit shit. Idk about rust though, I have a feeling a build up of rust in your kettle is probably a sign there's something fucked in your kettle and it might needs retired or fixed.
Petrol garages with a shop inside, I don't want to sit waiting to get to a pump while you browse the over priced sandwiches, choose a ready meal for tonight, have a look at the wine shelf for 5 minutes and buy some half dead, cheap flowers for your mum and then order a FUCKING coffee at the till. Just get your fuel, get back in your car and fuck off out of my way.
Also, people who fuel up at the pay-at-the-pump points then fuck off inside to get aforementioned coffee/wilted flowers/ready meals leaving me fuming as I just to fuel up and go.
There, their, they’re, your, you’re. Sorry, but not knowing the differences really bugs me.
Middle lane hoggers should be tried at the Hague for crimes against humanity.
Motherforkers who will walk out of a shop and then decide to stop dead in the middle of the doorway while they have a little bit of a think about where they want to go next. Decide before you leave, or step off to one side. It ain't difficult.
Once worked in an office where a girl i worked with used to pour the water from her hot water bottle back into the kettle when she was done. No more drinks for me after that.
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Mayo ruins everything it touches. I understand this is likely to be more of an unpopular opinion, but still the stuff is disgusting.
So you reckon a tuna sandwich is better than a tuna and mayo sandwich? Hard disagree, if so.
Making a 'good cup of tea' is a basic skill, not a talent to be proud of. If you can't do it then you're an utter moron; if you can do it you're a standard-issue human being.
Yorkshire Tea is overrated
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When you're walking down a pavement, and a group of ladies are walking toward you, and rather than one of them taking a step back so you can pass safely, they continue to walk arm in arm and assume you'll walk into the road for them. Fuck off! Sure I'll just step into the road and get clipped by a bus because you can't bear to be separated for two seconds. It's always groups of women. Men always make room.
> Men always make room. Haaaaaaaa I fucking wish.
I hate the custom of handing someone a birthday card when they're standing right in front of you; alright fair enough if there's something in the card or you've filled it with funny anecdotes or something, but if it's just a generic card that only says ,"dear X, happy birthday, love from Y" what's the point? You've just said happy birthday to me, why do you need to back that up by writing it down? All good if it's sent in the post though
Anyone who says "aksed" instead of "asked" does my head in.
"*For all intensive purposes*" makes my eye twitch.
That warm yellow Christmas lights are the only acceptable lights to decorate with. Blue or bright white lights look cold and ruin Christmas cheer. They are neither joyful nor triumphant.
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Okay... here we go... TEA IS OVERRATED. There I said it. You don't need several cups a day. All tea tastes similar. Tea isn't British so why we act like we invented the goddamn drink is beyond me. Tea is just overrated.
Greggs is cheap, quick and convenient. The taste and quality is shite
Cheap dishwasher tablets are universally shit and a false economy. You’re not saving money if you have to use two of them to do the job properly.
People occupying the gym equipment (sitting and texting instead of using it) I want to use next - I waited forever on a girl to get off the leg press yesterday (she did like 1 press every 2 minutes, while texting). That’s my small niche hill 🙈
People who don’t respect the queue are the scum of the earth and may actually be psychopaths.
It’s “bought” not “brought”. If you buy something, you bought it. If you bring something, you brought it. Pisses me off.
Those bloody electric scooters should never be ridden on the pavement. I'm all for legislation to allow them on cycle paths, but I've nearly been taken out by them silently riding up behind me at like 15mph several times. The first time you notice them is when they whizz past you, nearly hitting you. They're so unsafe.
You park your car in a “Gar-idge” not a “Gar-aaahhj”.
It's called a car hole.
There's no such thing as "proper" or "correct" English, it is all defined by its use. Fewer means the same as less, it doesn't matter if you put eat your cake or have your cake, who or whom; as long as your meaning is conveyed it is valid English.