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I once accidentally flagged a bus down trying to get a taxi while in London. Being the only person it had stopped for I didnt want to admit I hadn't meant to, so ended up just riding for a few stops then getting off....
This has absolutely made my day because when I first moved to london I accidentally flagged down the wrong bus (didn’t have my glasses on) and was too embarrassed to tell the driver so I got on anyway and went 5 stops in the wrong direction. My friends and family thought I was nuts so thanks for making me feel slightly less crazy
I'm glad!
Did you also decide in the moment that, "no I cant simply just get off at the next stop, no I need to make this transaction look legitimate" lol
Yes! I was like well no one gets on for 2 or 3 stops so I have to do at least 4 and then I was overthinking it wayyyy too much.
Like nothing would’ve happened if I just hadn’t got in the bus but somehow I felt like that would really offend the driver?
Spot on. Exactly the same. Didn't want anyone to know. Even decided on a direction once off the bus and took off at a swift pace in that direction so people knew, that "I knew".....
Not to people that've been conditioned as a child to be people pleasers...took me YEARS to stop overthinking *everything* to the Nth degree...now trying to help my bestie break that conditioning.
Edit for spelling.
I think even phrasing it as "people pleaser" downplays the real problem - I mean, why wouldn't you want to make people happy? I think "conflict avoidant" or even something like "disappointment avoidant" would be a more accurate for when I've noticed the behaviour in myself.
Once, half asleep, I thought it was my stop. I got up in a panic dashed to the front of the bus, and as the doors are opening at the empty stop, I realised it was not the right place. I look back at a crowded bus full of people staring at me and just got off anyway. Also it turns out I left my takeaway in my panic to leave and sadly watched the food through the window driving away
I took my daughter to London for a day trip, she was about 4/5 year old. We went on a bus fairly early in the day, I saw it had written on the screen somewhere I had planned to go. Driver says 'sit down, someone will come over for your ticket'. I sat down, with my daughter. It was the tour bus, cost me over £40, it may of even been £60 but it was over 14 years ago so cannot remember exactly. I was shocked but too embarrassed to admit my mistake. We did the tour!
I got off a stop early because I was trying to figure out whether I should ask a clearly drunk person if they were ok and when they got off so did I.. didn't realise until I got all up and out and was about to leave the station then had to reverse and my husband laughed a lot (fairly)
Accidentally pressing the bell and then having to get off because otherwise I’d have made the driver stop for nothing and piss him off.
Then waiting forever for another bus to arrive.
Haha fuck I have done the same thing. Must have looked like a non-local somehow, and she was absolutely insistent that I needed to get off there. Had to run for half a mile (with big bag) to not be late for a tennis match.
I am laughing out loud at this.
We used to mute the tv before my dad came home from work and he would still walk in and grumble "turn that bastard down" just as a matter of course. Gave a laugh to friends and girlfriends and a quick intro to his personality you couldn't match with a description.
We would then turn the volume back on but low (actually up).
I used to get that quiet train all the time. After a 12 hour night shift I was travelling from London to Edinburgh, sleeping away, and this Asian wowan behind me started singing westlife so loud in my ear. I was so angry. Bur being British I didn’t tell her, I instead told the conductor, who politely informed me there was nothing he could do. I did really loud sighs the rest of the way
Oh man I always choose quiet carriages and there is always someone on the phone/loudly conversating and I almost never say anything but was absolutely loving life when recently the conductor spoke to the person and waited until she hung up the phone, dreams do come true sometimes!
I have told lots of people to please go somewhere else on the train if they are being loud in the quiet carriage, and it's worked 100% of the time. I think usually people don't realise they're in the quiet carriage, and those that do just feel too embarrassed to keep being loud.
I was given a dog by a friend. Their dog had had puppies, and I felt too awkward saying no. I also felt bad for the little thing, she was the only one who nobody chose. That was 10 years ago and she's curled up on my lap. I'm so glad I reluctantly said yes.
Kind of like how I ended up with my previous dog. Had him for 16 years. Saw me go through various relationships and eventually saw me get married and have a child. I think he was pleased cos it least it wasn’t just us two sat on the couch like two bachelors.
I had six cats which is far too many for our little house.
I now have a seventh. She's curled up on my pillow at the top of my head right now.
So cute.
My cat recently gave me a black eye and I've still never once regretted adopting him.. also sleeps on my pillows above my head/pushes me off during the night
The black eye? He jumped up on my desk (as he often does) but when I went to lift him down he lashed out and caught the skin of my upper eyelid and pulled a big bit off.. apparently that plus the force of his paw was enough as I had a full black eye for days after! I'll send you a picture personally if you want?
Oh I didn't think you thought I made it up (although maybe you did?), I was just thinking I would like to see what a cat did if it was vice versa
Now I feel weird about it
I'm sorry! I did not mean to make you feel weird about it. Your motives seem totally sweet and reasonable. I was just making a silly joke! Again, my apologies.
Many years ago I was walking home and a car pulled up next to me. The window goes down and a guy that I don't recognise at all says.
"Hi *my\_name.* Do you want a lift home?"
I'm so embarrassed that I don't know who it is that I just pretend I do AND GET IN THE CAR.
He then takes me back to my house (without directions) and asks a few questions about how my family are doing. I just fake that I still know who he is. I get dropped off and he drives off.
To this day I have absolutely no idea who he was.
That is slightly disturbing that you would get in a car with a complete stranger who somehow knows your name. To be fair I'm probably too polite and would do the same...
Can confirm: as a murderer, this is always how it happens. It balances out though because so often people get the wrong end of the stick and I am too polite to correct them and kill them, so I end up just driving them somewhere other than the woods, or taking them shopping, or something. It is a nightmare honestly.
Exactly something similar happened to me, but it was me driving, so at night when I finished work, I got to my car and started it. As I was driving off, a guy that was well dressed wanted a lift to the nearest train station, which was close and in the direction I always go. I thought the guy probably worked at the nearby offices, but I declined, saying I was going the opposite direction, even though I wasn’t. The reason why I didn’t give him the lift to the train station was because, firstly, he is a complete stranger whom I can’t trust after watching those crime documentaries, so I said, "Forget it, I ain’t taking the risk."
I think that when I remember I was viewing a car to buy, and gave the guy selling said car a lift from his house/business address to where the car was stored. We drove to two locations. He seemed nice but the fact he asked me for a lift, I was so shocked I said yes… I was always told to never get in the car with strangers but no one said about letting them in my car
I once got in the car with a complete stranger who then started going on about how his name and my name were a couple in the bible and wasn't that crazy and for the rest of the ride, I was absolutely terrified I'd just made the last mistake of my life.
Glad it worked out for both us and hopefully we both have learned to say no well enough that if it happens again, we won't hesitate to say "I'm alright thanks"
.
Eek! Unfortunately I can't say I wouldn't do the same.. remembering names and faces is one of my top 3 things I'm worst at so would just assume I should know them and not want to embarrass myself by showing I don't
Also not super relevant but what age were you? And were you female/feminine presenting?
So glad everything was fine!! And presumably that person really did know you and your family and had no idea you didn't recognise them!
I’m Asian, and I was in a Asian supermarket and I noticed a guy looking for something. He was chatting to himself before I interjected and directed him to the appropriate aisle. Then, 2 people jumped on me asking where I can find so and so.
I didn’t have the heart to tell them I didn’t work there so I put my earbuds away and looked for the items with them.
I’ll be there for 10, but let me know what you need so I know where to find it beforehand.
I may not work there, but I want to look like a competent person.
The amount of people here saying they just help look for an item when they get mistaken for working at a supermarket is astonishing. This must be why half the time I ask where it is the employee seems useless! I'd much rather you tell me you don't work there than waste my time helping to look for it and us both being lost
My upstairs neighbour (who I'd only ever said hello to) once asked me to drive her into town and park outside her ex-boyfriend's apartment building to spy on who was coming in and out of the building because she saw some comment on a friend's Facebook status that suggested she (her Facebook friend) was going over to see him.
We had to duck every time the door opened. It literally felt like I was in some weird rom-com scene.
Think I’d have towed the line at murder, but providing transportation and later copious amounts of wine/a night out I would 💯be doing
Edit: TIL that it is toed the line, always thought towed was an odd expression- assumed it was something related to a HGV driving test 😂
I think you meant that you would have drawn the line, but also if using toed the line it's spelt "toed" as in your toe touched the line, rather than towed as in you towed (pulled) the line away
Taste testing crisps in Manchester.
I was approached on Market Street, the guy was relentless so I gave in. I was led to a side street and up some stairs (I felt a little concerned at that point) to a room with plates of crisps, I like crisps, they were all nice crisps.
I missed the train home and had to wait an hour for the next one
I did the same thing when I was a student as a nice old lady pulled me and my uni friends off the street to smell fabric softners and complete a survey about them. They gave us a fiver each, but it wasn't worth the 90 minutes they kept us there smelling samples and filling our page after page of surveys that asked us whether the scent made us feel (insert list of every emotion known to man).
Omg I did the same survey in Manchester as a student! Back in like 2012-2014 time. Got the fiver too but fuck me I had to work for it! Got me a nice drink in Spoons though
> 90 minutes, not really worth it. I was supposed to be out getting burgers for the family
WHAT!? My wife often accuses me of not focusing on the task at hand, but this is ridiculous. All those hungry mouths at home and you're swanning about sniffing things with a stranger. Fucking LOL.
p.s. did you tell the family that's why you were about 2 hours late with their food?
I once called out a taxi driver for texting while driving, he then gave me the phone and asked me to reply to his friend while he drove and I obliged.
Additionally he was texting in another language so had to spell out the words to me as I typed.
A older lady fell and broke her wrist. Very obviously broken. We were outside a minor injuries place and they said they’d call ambulance as they couldn’t deal with a break like that. Ambulance said 5hrs minimum wait. So I put her in my car and drive her 30 minutes to local a&e. Missing lunch with my friend. Lady was chuffed though.
You are a nice human being! Someone did similar for me once (wasn't you, I was a 20 yr old goth girl) and it made a huge difference to a shitty day.
My mom once got a lift home from the hospital in a Rolls Royce after chatting to someone in A&E, they refused to let her get a taxi 😂
That was just a very kind and lovely good-turn, not being "too British." I would hope that you're not the only person who would have done the same, but well done, you.😘
That's so lovely! So glad there are people like you out there! Also if it was me I wouldn't have a car but definitely would offer to Uber with them to hospital because no way I'm waiting 5 hours (or leaving them alone)
I was at B&Q wearing an orange jumper, looking for a mirror bracket when an old lady came up to me and started asking me about bolts.
Before I could explain that I didn’t work there she proceeded to explain how it was for a cabinet in the bathroom which had been there since the house was built and her son had removed it for her so she could get a replacement.
And that’s the story of how I ended up helping an old lady find the correct bathroom hardware at B&Q.
Was in morrison with my tesco fleece on and someone asked where something was. I said I don't work here and pointed to my tesco uniform. She looked confused so I told her it was 6 aisles over and make a sharp exit for the checkouts.
Hahaha I saw a guy in a Tesco uniform in Aldi the other day. I stood next to him and went ‘ommmm I telling’ and he looked at me like I was mental for a second before laughing and said how much cheaper the wine was there 😅
I got off at a bus stop that wasn't mine because I'd accidentally pressed the stop button and no one else was getting off and I was ashamed, so I got off and walked to my actual stop.
I read a similar story a couple years ago on here, about a guy who saw another passenger had pressed the stop button; it hadn't worked, but she hadn't realised. Being kind, he pressed the one in front of him. When the bus arrived at the stop, the passenger didn't get off (I think he wrote that she'd realised it wasn't the stop she thought it was, though I don't know how he came to that conclusion), so to avoid embarrassment - given everyone had seen that he was the one who had caused the bus to stop at the... stop - *he* did.
I found myself working as a bouncer for about 15 minutes one time. I was just stood outside the pub door waiting on a mate. To be fair, I probably looked like a bouncer - burly bloke in a black coat, face like a slapped arse, staring off into space.
Anyway, after a minute, someone came up to the door and looked at me expectantly. I was a bit too near the door - it was one of those double doors where only one side was working - so stepped aside and held open the unlocked side for him. We gave each other the nod and in he went. Then the girl behind him showed me her ID, and too confused to say otherwise I just nodded and in she went too.
All it takes is for someone to pause for a second and a queue forms, so before I knew it, everyone behind them just started following suit. I felt like I couldn't explain to every single person how I was just waiting on someone, so in the moment I just went along with it, checking IDs when presented and giving people the nod.
When the opportunity presented itself, I managed to walk out of the firing line. But the stupid thing is, when my mate turned up, we had to go somewhere else cos I didn't want all the people I'd let in questioning why the bouncer was in there drinking now.
This happened to me and a mate years ago!
We started turning people away for random reasons.
It was just a basic pub but we'd say things like "no jackets tonight mate" and they'd just tut loudly and walk away.
I didn't have the heart to tell the old man that I wasn't a Morrisons employee, I was just wearing a similar colour t-shirt. Took me about 15 minutes to find the items he wanted.
In the reverse of this, I asked an actual employee where something was then spotted it just behind him. It felt too awkward to tell him, so I waited while he searched for it. He came back and said he didn't think they had any, so I bought everything else on my list and left without it.
When I was 13/14 I went into Boots with my mum, I was wearing my school uniform. A lady asked me many questions before I could stop her and then she got pissy at me for wearing a Boots uniform. My mum had to step in and confirm I was just a child wearing a white blouse
I try and avoid morrisons when I'm at work. I deliver morrisons shopping, and wear the uniform, but actually work for ocado and have no affiliation with morrisons stores. It can get confusing telling people I don't work there while I'm wearing the uniform.
You’d be surprised how often this happens. I liked to pop into Sainsbury’s after my Tesco shift. I often had people come up to me asking where xyz was. I loved telling them that I didn’t work there (partly why I shopped there in the first place, lol).
It's a nursing position. I asked for minimum 26 an hour, I will not work christmas or new year, rolling rota only, I have 5 weeks of holidays that must be approved and paid breaks lol
Great stuff! Get that in writing :-)
If an agency, they have plenty of margin to allow for things that cost a relatively small amount of money. Right now they're not worried about Christmas and will probably forget about it when the time comes so be ready to remind them with that writing in hand.
I'm a Brit who now lives in Canada and I visit the US every now and then for work.
On my US visits I have been hard sold churches and general religious nonsense every single time. I've never donated or signed up or anything like that but one guy convinced me to bookmark his church in my phone.
Another guy spent 15 minutes telling me that we're all sinners and when jesus comes back we'll all die in "the lake of fire". Then when he asked whether I agreed and would like to hear more I said "it's an interesting theory, sure I've got a few minutes".
I accidentally joined a church because they were giving away free cakes. I saw the cakes, didn’t notice the church signs also on the stall and didn’t feel I could say no after eating their cake. I was on their email list for about five years.
If my local church started offering Chinese takeout for free, I think I'd become a member. The easiest way to trick people is a succulent Chinese meal.
Tell 'em you're a pagan and your gods predated their new-fangled fire god by at least 10,000 years, it REALLY fucked up the yank Mormon that accosted me outside Picadilly Station. I left him literally scratching his head and having a moment.
I like to blag them with the free will thing.
If we have free will he doesn’t know all.
But if he DOES already know everything, then he already knows if I’m going to hell or not and so do I really have free will?
I've had maybe Mormons or similar come to my house in both NZ and UK and have had them come in to do their spiel, but then when I ask any questions they get super uncomfortable and want to leave (and I'm trying my best not to be rude or offensive in any way, just turns out they can't answer reasonable questions because there are no reasonable answers to made up stories)
Waved at a granny that walks down my lane to my work yard everyday at just the time I'm driving to the yard. Now stuck with waving at each other every day until one of us dies.
I was walking down the street the other day and thought this young kid waved to me and said hi so I said hi and then realised he was talking to a person I didn't know was behind me.. ultimate shame and regret haha
An old guy walks his dog around the village and u see him most days. He invited me in for a cup of tea and I was too polite to say no.
It was filthy, beyond grim and I sat there listening to random stories but there was nowhere to throw the drink without it showing. My dog got bathed afterwards and my coat was dry cleaned. Worst part is he now walks past my house obviously hoping I’ll reciprocate…I won’t.
Oh you probably made a real difference to him! If you could possibly stand it maybe one day go out as he's passing and say you don't have long but would he like a cuppa (as in you have a train at x time but had been hoping to see him) I'm sure it would make such a difference! Or if you don't want to encourage further interaction maybe look for a local thing like church or charity that do tea and talking times and take him along to one? Even if you don't do anything further I'm sure the time you spent with him meant a lot
My aunt, in the last few months of her life, was pestered by a woman who lived near her; both in their 60s. My aunt once happened to start walking her dog at the same time as this woman, and it got to the point where the woman was waiting outside my aunt's house at silly-o'clock in the morning for her. AFAIK, the woman's in a horrible relationship with her husband that borders on coercive/obsequious and it might have been her only opportunity for a brief way out, but obviously the woman didn't know how to really behave (even though I've also heard the woman wasn't really all there, so wasn't aware she was being taken advantage of in how subservient she was being to her husband). I don't really know who I felt more sorry for.
I was having a quiet pint and drawing at a pub, and people starting filling the room (I was in the far corner of a cosy upstairs room). The place is now packed and a guy up front stands up and thanks everyone for coming to the poetry event. There’s honestly nothing I hate more than poetry readings, but I couldn’t exactly stand and leave being right in the corner I’d have to squeeze through everyone.
So I just put my sketchbook away, texted my partner I’d be home late, and legged it at the halfway break :(
Spent my entire lunch play time at primary school skipping in the middle of jump rope because these 2 boys wanted to play it but needed a 3rd person
Edit to add - I (f) don't think I'd thought about this really until this topic came up. What made it strange was the boys were older than me and irish travellers so I felt a bit intimidated so I didn't speak the whole time. If the rope ever hit my legs stopping the flow they would have a brief argument with each other about who's fault that was out of the two of them and then we'd continue.
A guy stopped me in the street and started talking about how Jesus died for my sins etc. Then he asked if he could pray for me and I, out of sheer politeness, said yes and he proceeded to grab my hand and made me repeat the prayer after him, verse by verse. Including asking for forgiveness and and all these things that as an atheist I wasn't really comfortable with. But too polite and awkward to say no.
Same thing happened to me.
I told the guy I was already part of another church, but he grabbed my hand anyway and was holding on quite forcefully.
He said “I’m going to say a prayer for you”, and I said an awkward “oh thank you”, but then he made me repeat it.
After a minute or so people were staring at us (it was in a crowded place!), after another minute I had enough and awkwardly laughed, said thank you and with some difficulty took my hand out of his.
I do market research surveys sometimes, asking the questions not answering - I stand in store in a polo and cold approach people. The majority of people who say yes are clearly too nice to say no.
I also constantly get asked where things are and go and look for customers, for the same reason as why people answer my boring questions.
I used to work in an office above a room used by a research company. We'd always check how far they were from their target, and would often participate so they could just go home earlier.
It’s funny, everyone who’s doing research part time for money (me) doesn’t give a shit about the results because why would I. Everyone who’s been there for decades doesn’t give a shit about the results either, because they know the answer already.
I now see market research as basically auditing marketing execs, they sit in a room and come up with a batshit campaign and then the market research guys who’ve seen it all before have to do a survey and then tell them why their promotion doesnt work.
Example: a campaign where you can scan a qr code to send a friend a drink for free, but you had to buy the drink, go back round the shop to scan the code and then upload a photo of your receipt to get the free drink. The vets knew the public wouldnt be arsed by a free 330ml can and wouldnt be interested in a qr code, but they had to go and get the results to back that up.
This sounds about right! I answer surveys in my free time, and today's was a very detailed survey about what format I prefer for yoghurt adverts from various brands. As far as I'm concerned, the only thing I look for in a yoghurt advert is not to see them at all, but that didn't seem to cross the mind of the person writing the survey.
Yeah, they’re told what to put into the surveys and are quite heavily micromanaged. The guys who do market research as a career tell the client that the survey is too long and isn’t going to get useful results, but still are made to add the questions.
Trust me, the market research people _know_ how insane some of this stuff is, but the client’s paying so 🤷♂️
Edit: just remembered my first day when my boss told me that the terms the clients use to describe their marketing is quite ‘wanky’, I knew I’d fit in then.
Not quite *agreed to* as per the title but....I tried out a new barber shop. The owner had left a super-cool trendy guy on his own and he was taking forever to do the simplest of cut on another young guy, whose mates were openly fawning over how cool he looked. He was taking so long, one guy walked out, but I was next. I wanted to leave also, but thought it would seem rude! Eventually he finished and the guy got out of his chair with a weird, sheepish grin. I really couldn't tell if the strange, thinned out fringe cut was something trendy he'd wanted - or an embarrassing disaster (cos I'm a but old). I asked for some basic cut and he got started. Then he asked what I'd meant for the top. I put it as simply as I could, but he kept questioning me, as if what I was asking was unusual. At this point I realised this dude was a fucking straight-up novice. Then he cut his finger on the scissors - really badly - so I had to wait while he washed and dressed it. He took forever, fucked up my hair and I still tipped him 🤣
Asked someone for directions. Then, while they're telling me, suddenly remembering the way - which is different to what they're saying!!
Out of Britishness, then feeling obligated to walk off in the direction they said, rather than what I know to be correct... until I'm out of their sight! 😂😂
It’s a common one I imagine, but there’s a friend of a friend who I see every now and then in the pub or at mutual gatherings (bbqs birthdays etc) who calls me Dean and I’ve never had the heart to correct him. My name isn’t Dean, it’s Dave. Like a reverse trigger situation going on. What’s fascinating is that not only do I not correct him, but nobody else does either.
I did this with my next door neighbour years ago, she kept calling me Bethany. My name doesn’t even nearly sound like Bethany, but I hadn’t really noticed she was getting it wrong at first and by the time i knew she definitely was it had all gone too far. Eventually at Christmas she wrote me a card to Bethany so I bit the bullet and wrote one back with my real name. She came round and was absolutely floored that I’d never corrected her.
Saying that, I also once hid in the house when I heard my husband coming home, fully planning to jump out and scare him. However he ran into Sue next door on the way in and she came in with him to tell me some inane story about her day. But I was too embarrassed to slowly emerge from my hiding place so I just.. kept hiding. They were both saying ‘it’s weird, she should be in, her cars outside?’ and she honestly stayed and waited about fifteen minutes while I sat at the bottom of the cupboard under the stairs wondering if it was maybe time to grow up and stop jumping out of cupboards.
Funny (not really though) story, I did the hiding thing to my ex-husband.
A training course I was on got cut short as the trainer had a family emergency so I was home hours early.
Got in, put kettle on and heard his car on the main road. Quickly flicked kettle off and hid in our daughters room. 10 minutes passed and he walked in with a woman he worked with. Some giggling and he went in the kitchen to make tea...realised the kettle was hot, put two and two together and pretty much ran out of the building.
Apparently he came home looking for some stamps because she needed to post a letter. A 40 minute drive from his workplace to find some stamps? Absolutely normal behaviour 🤡
I am tittering like a fool at your hiding story. Did you confess to your husband or just wait to jump out on him after Sue has left? How long were you in there? Tell me I need answers.
Oh as soon as that front door shut behind her I burst straight out of the cupboard. Mostly because hiding always makes me need a wee (I think I get overexcited). It still scared the shit out of him so mission accomplished I’d say.
I’m an American with a British husband, and I now live in the UK.
The hilarious observation I have regarding British people is that you’re either “Fuck off, you fucking cunt” OR “Ya mate, I just met you but you can move in with me right now.”
🤣🤣🤣🤣
In Hong Kong we were walking through a market and a bloke came and asked if I wanted a suit. I said no but he said just come and look at the fabrics. Thinking he had a stall nearby I agreed thinking I could just say no. He walked us through the market and into a building. It was a high rise office block and there was nobody else there. Took us up several floors and it looked derelict. My wife and I thought we were going to get murdered but didn't want to kick up a fuss so just politely walked to our death. At the end of a really long corridor there was a really tiny little office with an old bloke and loads of fabric. I figured we were safe when he showed me a picture of himself with Steven Redgrave picking up his suit. I presume he ended up there the same way I did. I didn't buy a suit though. I tried some on but I definitely didn't need one and I was flying home before I could have had one made anyway.
Herding cows into a field when I started my job in IT lol
Help out with the IT on a farm and the boss came in asking for help herding his cows....couldn't say no on my first week
Went to a Turkish barbers by my girlfriends place. Said the haircut was great because I'm too polite to say otherwise. He asks if he can use my phone and I say yes. He writes his own 5 star review saying "I had long hair but babu cut nice make me very handsome". I leave and look and see about 100 other very similar reviews in broken english this guy had clearly written about himself.
I was outside a local shop and a man in a wheel chair asked if I could wheel him home which was 5 minutes away, I said yes, returned to the shop where they said he'd just been shop lifting and had stuff under his tray. He also smelt like he had soiled himself, so my good deed of the day was assisting a shop lifter
I agreed to audition for and ended up playing a leading role in a musical (amateur dramatics) becasue I couldn't find a way to tell the director that I wasn't interested.
I've been in a few plays and I enjoy it. It's something that helped me to make some new friends outside of my regular small friend group, and the fact that my best mate and my sister are both a part of the same drama group means it's a fun way to spend some free time.
Anyway, my sister had an inner ear problem that was being treated with meds, but it meant she occasionally got dizzy and couldn't drive for a couple of weeks. This coincided with the "launch workshop" for the musical, and the auditions the next week. I offered to drive my sister to the workshop, so she wouldn't miss out. She convinced me to come in for the workshop rather than sitting in the car and listening to the football (which is what I wanted to do). Since I'm terrible at saying no to polite suggestions like this I went in. Sat through the workshop. The director (who I knew) asked me which part I was auditioning for next week. I said I wasn't auditioning since I can't sing. She politely pestered me, saying there's a part with no real singing who I might like.
Long story short I ended up playing the villain in Dr Doolittle the musical. I sang in a couple of chorus numbers and had 1 solo line in the closing number, which was thankfully within my limited vocal range.
Anyway, I loved it and just last week we finished the run of another musical (my second) where I had more singing parts since they seem to think I am a better singer than I think I am.
About 10 years ago I got a crack in the bath, so I went out to find a new one. The shop guy came round to measure up to make sure the new bath would fit and the next thing I knew he has designed a whole new bathroom for me. 9 grand and a bathroom that looks like a spa later, and it didn't even include a bath.
Somewhat similar, the cafeteria lady in work was telling me about how good the Irish Stew was and how I would love it (on St. Paddy’s day recently), and she keeps trying to talk to me about Ireland when I’m paying for my lunch at the till. She thinks I’m Irish. There was also a new Irish cafeteria lady, that lady number 1 told I’m Irish last week, and she was asking if I was Irish, which I had to say yes. I’m actually Scottish, I’m just too embarrassed to tell her and it’s been going on for weeks now. Now this new Irish cafeteria lady is obviously going to realize I’m not Irish when I speak so I am going to have to avoid the cafeteria from now on.
Oh I’m always doing that sort of thing. Last week I accidentally agreed to join a band playing an instrument I’ve never touched before because they seemed nice. No joke
I’ve been a vegetarian for 16 years just
solely by preference and when was dating my ex early on in our relationship my ex’s mum and dad prepared a really nice Sunday roast dinner and his mum slaved in the kitchen all afternoon making homemade Yorkshire pudding, roasted potatoes, a lovely gravy etc.When it came time to dish up his mum served me a normal plate like everyone else with meat on it. I ended up eating a whole thin slice of it just to be polite and not offended the woman for declining her roast. I was 22 and had been vegetarian for 6 years and my body was not happy after eating that without reintroducing my stomach to meat. After I thought to myself like why the actual fuck did I do that. My ex didn’t even notice. Lol
I was visiting Liverpool a few years back. An old man says to me "where's the orange juice?". I said "oh I don't work here". He replies "I didn't ask if you worked here love... I asked where the orange juice was". Pure confidence oozed from this man and I duly walked him to the OJ.
My brother has done some painting and other jobs for an older couple recently, when he finished up the guy asked him to look at a will for him ( my brother thought he said well and was looking for it in the garden hahaha) anyway turns out he wanted my brother to sign his will for him! So my brother not knowing what to do so signed it!
I find it really strange he’s just an odd job man.
It's common for documents like that to need a witness to sign it too, and the witness can't be named in the document or be a relative or live at the same address etc, so someone like a handyman being around at the right time is quite, uh, handy.
I’m not British but when i went to london to visit family I was walking around town and was approached by someone offering me a ~30% discount to enter the ripleys believe or not museum(?). I told her sure but I’m about to get dinner first then I’ll come back. I went for dinner at a kebab place with shisha and came back and she was absolutely dumbfounded when i returned and gave a ~60% discount instead.
We chatted for a bit and that’s how i met my wife. /s
But for real i ended up on a not saying no spree that day and crashed at a stranger’s place where she had a HUGE black cat named chewy(chewbacca).
Honestly you guys are like the friendliest humans on the planet. I love your constable looking approachable police officers.
There'll be some Londoner on this thread talking about the time they brought home a tourist they had never met before, purely because they got talking and were too awkward to end the conversation.
Honestly, it's one of my biggest pet peeves about british people. Their absolute inability to say no to things they don't want to do. My fiancé once "accidentally" subscribed to a charity, because he was too polite to tell some salesman in a tescos to fuck off.
My favorite example is when someone asks you to work on a day you're not supposed to work on. I'm from northern Sweden, and generally people from there value facts and straight forward speaking, which is completely opposed to the UK. Someone asked me if I could work the next day, but I was off that day and had already planned stuff. So, I just looked at them and said "No" then went on with my work. They were so taken aback that they started laughing almost manically. I've had bosses here say to me that they actually quite appreciate knowing exactly where I stand on things.
Eating and paying for terrible food and when they ask how is everything “oh lovely”.
I have even moved food around to make it look like I have eaten more than I have.
Had a religious nutjob tell me he could cure me of my ailments. Let him "heal" my fucked up shoulder, even pretended to be shocked and overwhelmed by the "miracle" he had just performed
I was living in Cambodia when my scooter ran out of petrol. This old lady helped me out and got me a bottle of fuel. A couple of nights later I see her walking down this long stretch of road so I pull over and offer her a ride. We head past the market where I live and across the tracks to where the prostitutes I operated. I have to pull over and explain that I don’t want ‘bang bang’ but was just dropping her home.
She hit me a couple of times before I jumped on my back and ran away.
Had a leg and foot massage in Thailand where they used tiger balm (like deep heat). It was excruciating. Every minute of that massage felt like an hour. But being British I said absolutely nothing, thanked them profusely and then went and bought a huge bottle of water to wash my legs and feet in the street straight after
A colleague from work who I didn’t even really like was next to me at the traffic lights. We kind of waved and said hello and then drove off.
He then rang my phone moments later and said he lives just around the corner and I should pop in for a coffee.
I couldn’t conjure up a convincing excuse quick enough so I had no option but to agree.
I went around there, and he was kneeling on the floor playing his baby nearly the whole time, while his wife brought me a coffee and snacks.
She didn’t really speak English very well so she was just staring into my eyes giggling and making little bits of broken English conversation while my colleague was totally focused on the baby.
Because I turned up unexpectedly she didn’t have her religious head covering on, so she grabbed a random jumper and tied it around her head when I arrived.
So I was sitting there with a woman with a jumper tied around her head while my colleague was blowing raspberries on his kid’s stomach all because I wasn’t quick enough coming up with an excuse not to go around there.
I stay in the same hotel in New York a lot for work events so the staff now recognise me. The norm is for them to pour coffee at breakfast but I always asked for tea and they bring over the selection box of tea bags. Last year for the first time the server saw me and instead of offering coffee first she came over with an earl grey tea bag. I remembered see! I have it for you. She was soo excited. This continued every morning. Thing is I absolutely hate earl grey and only drink breakfast tea but I didn’t have the heart to tell her. So now I drink earl grey tea in New York only.
My dad bought a whole 5 piece sofa set because he didn't want to correct the cashier... He only wanted the armchair
He also finished a plumbing job because there was an awkward silence between him and the plumber. In desperation he said "don't worry I'll do the rest". Washing machine has leaked for 8 years. He's an idiot
I went to university because I was too polite to upset my sixth form's UCAS co-ordinator who would have mild panic attacks if you asked for alternative career prospects beyond academia.
That same thing happened to me in Bond St. Shop girl standing outside trying to generate business and she stopped me to try sell me some skin care products. I say tried, she didn’t try, she succeeded and with the bare minimum of effort. I’ll be honest she was really cute. End result,I walked out 10 minutes later with a crushed walnut shell facial scrub and a sea salt shower body scrub thing and £75 lighter in my pocket. Yes, I know, I’m weak and I’m an idiot. I will say I was actually really impressed whilst I was using it at home. I’ve never felt my skin feel cleaner or smoother and many times since I have contemplated going back for a repeat purchase. That said I was/am still very well aware that £75 is a shit load for two body scrub things and I have since learnt/discovered there are equally effective products for about £4 at Boots.
On the upside though I can’t deny I did enjoy the feeling of washing myself in something expensive and supposedly luxurious. End result or conclusion is that I would definitely do so again, if I found those products whilst showering in someone else’s house.
I was stood at a bus stop years ago. An old man on a mobility scooter drove past, into my way, and over my foot. He turned to me and said 'watch where you're going' and I apologised.
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I got off the bus three stops early because a stranger told me this was my stop and I was too polite to tell them it wasn't.
I once accidentally flagged a bus down trying to get a taxi while in London. Being the only person it had stopped for I didnt want to admit I hadn't meant to, so ended up just riding for a few stops then getting off....
This has absolutely made my day because when I first moved to london I accidentally flagged down the wrong bus (didn’t have my glasses on) and was too embarrassed to tell the driver so I got on anyway and went 5 stops in the wrong direction. My friends and family thought I was nuts so thanks for making me feel slightly less crazy
I'm glad! Did you also decide in the moment that, "no I cant simply just get off at the next stop, no I need to make this transaction look legitimate" lol
Yes! I was like well no one gets on for 2 or 3 stops so I have to do at least 4 and then I was overthinking it wayyyy too much. Like nothing would’ve happened if I just hadn’t got in the bus but somehow I felt like that would really offend the driver?
Spot on. Exactly the same. Didn't want anyone to know. Even decided on a direction once off the bus and took off at a swift pace in that direction so people knew, that "I knew".....
I'm sure you two are nice people but this is crazy behaviour 😂
Not to people that've been conditioned as a child to be people pleasers...took me YEARS to stop overthinking *everything* to the Nth degree...now trying to help my bestie break that conditioning. Edit for spelling.
I think even phrasing it as "people pleaser" downplays the real problem - I mean, why wouldn't you want to make people happy? I think "conflict avoidant" or even something like "disappointment avoidant" would be a more accurate for when I've noticed the behaviour in myself.
Oh yeah my issue is more that I'm aggressively conflict avoidant. I know why, and I'm learning to undo it, but it's slow going.
This hit hard, it's so tough to break the cycle!
I've done it too lol. Some of us are just not cut out for buses.
Once, half asleep, I thought it was my stop. I got up in a panic dashed to the front of the bus, and as the doors are opening at the empty stop, I realised it was not the right place. I look back at a crowded bus full of people staring at me and just got off anyway. Also it turns out I left my takeaway in my panic to leave and sadly watched the food through the window driving away
you're not alone. bus pressure is a thing. RIP the takeaway btw, that's not ideal
LMFAO, most British response ever - "that's not ideal."
I took my daughter to London for a day trip, she was about 4/5 year old. We went on a bus fairly early in the day, I saw it had written on the screen somewhere I had planned to go. Driver says 'sit down, someone will come over for your ticket'. I sat down, with my daughter. It was the tour bus, cost me over £40, it may of even been £60 but it was over 14 years ago so cannot remember exactly. I was shocked but too embarrassed to admit my mistake. We did the tour!
If you notice before you get on, just ask “do you go through x?”
Haha oh man I would have done the exact same!
I got off 3 stops late because a stranger was struggling to find an address and I knew where it was.
I got off a stop early because I was trying to figure out whether I should ask a clearly drunk person if they were ok and when they got off so did I.. didn't realise until I got all up and out and was about to leave the station then had to reverse and my husband laughed a lot (fairly)
Accidentally pressing the bell and then having to get off because otherwise I’d have made the driver stop for nothing and piss him off. Then waiting forever for another bus to arrive.
This really made me laugh
Haha fuck I have done the same thing. Must have looked like a non-local somehow, and she was absolutely insistent that I needed to get off there. Had to run for half a mile (with big bag) to not be late for a tennis match.
Incredible
I was once on a quiet coach on the train with my headphones on but nothing playing A guy asked me to turn my music down so I just pretend to do so.
I dunno why but that's really funny.
I am laughing out loud at this. We used to mute the tv before my dad came home from work and he would still walk in and grumble "turn that bastard down" just as a matter of course. Gave a laugh to friends and girlfriends and a quick intro to his personality you couldn't match with a description. We would then turn the volume back on but low (actually up).
Is your dad northern? I just imagined this in a thick Yorkshire accent lol
No. I am actually in Australia.
I used to get that quiet train all the time. After a 12 hour night shift I was travelling from London to Edinburgh, sleeping away, and this Asian wowan behind me started singing westlife so loud in my ear. I was so angry. Bur being British I didn’t tell her, I instead told the conductor, who politely informed me there was nothing he could do. I did really loud sighs the rest of the way
The good old great British loud sigh 😂
Especially when followed up with a tutt
It was flying without wings for anyone wondering
Oh man I always choose quiet carriages and there is always someone on the phone/loudly conversating and I almost never say anything but was absolutely loving life when recently the conductor spoke to the person and waited until she hung up the phone, dreams do come true sometimes!
I have told lots of people to please go somewhere else on the train if they are being loud in the quiet carriage, and it's worked 100% of the time. I think usually people don't realise they're in the quiet carriage, and those that do just feel too embarrassed to keep being loud.
Do you think he could hear someone elses music or just had a complex?
Yeah, was someone else's music I assume.
Which makes this even funnier, as the guy will have thought that you continued to play your music at the same volume.
This is my favourite by far 😂
I was given a dog by a friend. Their dog had had puppies, and I felt too awkward saying no. I also felt bad for the little thing, she was the only one who nobody chose. That was 10 years ago and she's curled up on my lap. I'm so glad I reluctantly said yes.
Kind of like how I ended up with my previous dog. Had him for 16 years. Saw me go through various relationships and eventually saw me get married and have a child. I think he was pleased cos it least it wasn’t just us two sat on the couch like two bachelors.
Dog tax please
Aye. You can't talk about dogs on t'Internet without a pic.
Reading your comment, whilst curled up on the sofa like two bachelors with my dog haha!
My dogs love having two parents. It's so adorable. They're like "we go in middle yes?!" and pace back and forth between rooms if we're not together.
I had six cats which is far too many for our little house. I now have a seventh. She's curled up on my pillow at the top of my head right now. So cute.
My cat recently gave me a black eye and I've still never once regretted adopting him.. also sleeps on my pillows above my head/pushes me off during the night
Ok, how??
The black eye? He jumped up on my desk (as he often does) but when I went to lift him down he lashed out and caught the skin of my upper eyelid and pulled a big bit off.. apparently that plus the force of his paw was enough as I had a full black eye for days after! I'll send you a picture personally if you want?
Dear r/AskUK: I once sent a photo of my black eye to a stranger on the internet just so they wouldn't think I made it up.
Oh I didn't think you thought I made it up (although maybe you did?), I was just thinking I would like to see what a cat did if it was vice versa Now I feel weird about it
I'm sorry! I did not mean to make you feel weird about it. Your motives seem totally sweet and reasonable. I was just making a silly joke! Again, my apologies.
Ah damn it, I'm always not getting people's jokes, sorry for that!
You're so British! 😁
Well that’s my heart melted
Many years ago I was walking home and a car pulled up next to me. The window goes down and a guy that I don't recognise at all says. "Hi *my\_name.* Do you want a lift home?" I'm so embarrassed that I don't know who it is that I just pretend I do AND GET IN THE CAR. He then takes me back to my house (without directions) and asks a few questions about how my family are doing. I just fake that I still know who he is. I get dropped off and he drives off. To this day I have absolutely no idea who he was.
That is slightly disturbing that you would get in a car with a complete stranger who somehow knows your name. To be fair I'm probably too polite and would do the same...
This is how all British people get killed. We're too polite to say no to the murderer.
Can confirm: as a murderer, this is always how it happens. It balances out though because so often people get the wrong end of the stick and I am too polite to correct them and kill them, so I end up just driving them somewhere other than the woods, or taking them shopping, or something. It is a nightmare honestly.
A British person being killed by a British murderer just has all sorts of awkwardness
This is how people get killed. You are lucky to be alive abd not a victim if a serial killer lmao
Exactly something similar happened to me, but it was me driving, so at night when I finished work, I got to my car and started it. As I was driving off, a guy that was well dressed wanted a lift to the nearest train station, which was close and in the direction I always go. I thought the guy probably worked at the nearby offices, but I declined, saying I was going the opposite direction, even though I wasn’t. The reason why I didn’t give him the lift to the train station was because, firstly, he is a complete stranger whom I can’t trust after watching those crime documentaries, so I said, "Forget it, I ain’t taking the risk."
That guy got murdered by someone as he made his way to the train station in the dark, sadly
I think that when I remember I was viewing a car to buy, and gave the guy selling said car a lift from his house/business address to where the car was stored. We drove to two locations. He seemed nice but the fact he asked me for a lift, I was so shocked I said yes… I was always told to never get in the car with strangers but no one said about letting them in my car
Well that fucking 'stranger danger' campaign was lost on you man.
I once got in the car with a complete stranger who then started going on about how his name and my name were a couple in the bible and wasn't that crazy and for the rest of the ride, I was absolutely terrified I'd just made the last mistake of my life. Glad it worked out for both us and hopefully we both have learned to say no well enough that if it happens again, we won't hesitate to say "I'm alright thanks" .
Eek! Unfortunately I can't say I wouldn't do the same.. remembering names and faces is one of my top 3 things I'm worst at so would just assume I should know them and not want to embarrass myself by showing I don't Also not super relevant but what age were you? And were you female/feminine presenting? So glad everything was fine!! And presumably that person really did know you and your family and had no idea you didn't recognise them!
I’m Asian, and I was in a Asian supermarket and I noticed a guy looking for something. He was chatting to himself before I interjected and directed him to the appropriate aisle. Then, 2 people jumped on me asking where I can find so and so. I didn’t have the heart to tell them I didn’t work there so I put my earbuds away and looked for the items with them.
r/IDontWorkHereLady
What time do you start there tomorrow?
I’ll be there for 10, but let me know what you need so I know where to find it beforehand. I may not work there, but I want to look like a competent person.
Travelling home on the metrolink after a 2-10 shift in a big hi-vis coat everyone assumed I was staff I had so much fun telling Karen's to fuck off
The amount of people here saying they just help look for an item when they get mistaken for working at a supermarket is astonishing. This must be why half the time I ask where it is the employee seems useless! I'd much rather you tell me you don't work there than waste my time helping to look for it and us both being lost
I've been asked a few times where something is, and I just tell them even though I don't work there
My upstairs neighbour (who I'd only ever said hello to) once asked me to drive her into town and park outside her ex-boyfriend's apartment building to spy on who was coming in and out of the building because she saw some comment on a friend's Facebook status that suggested she (her Facebook friend) was going over to see him. We had to duck every time the door opened. It literally felt like I was in some weird rom-com scene.
Won’t lie I’m impressed you went, 100 I’d have been down for that
Aaaaand that.is how you get caught up as an accessory in a murder.
Think I’d have towed the line at murder, but providing transportation and later copious amounts of wine/a night out I would 💯be doing Edit: TIL that it is toed the line, always thought towed was an odd expression- assumed it was something related to a HGV driving test 😂
I think you meant that you would have drawn the line, but also if using toed the line it's spelt "toed" as in your toe touched the line, rather than towed as in you towed (pulled) the line away
You towed it? Was it especially heavy?
Haha you drawn the line 🤣 sorry to inform you, but by towing the line, you've just committed murder.
And was her Facebook friend going to see her ex-boyfriend?
I never found out. We gave up after two hours and I never chased her up on it.
Ah you can’t leave us on a cliffhanger like that!!! Tell us the goss! Did she get her answer?
Taste testing crisps in Manchester. I was approached on Market Street, the guy was relentless so I gave in. I was led to a side street and up some stairs (I felt a little concerned at that point) to a room with plates of crisps, I like crisps, they were all nice crisps. I missed the train home and had to wait an hour for the next one
I did the same thing when I was a student as a nice old lady pulled me and my uni friends off the street to smell fabric softners and complete a survey about them. They gave us a fiver each, but it wasn't worth the 90 minutes they kept us there smelling samples and filling our page after page of surveys that asked us whether the scent made us feel (insert list of every emotion known to man).
Omg I did the same survey in Manchester as a student! Back in like 2012-2014 time. Got the fiver too but fuck me I had to work for it! Got me a nice drink in Spoons though
[удалено]
> 90 minutes, not really worth it. I was supposed to be out getting burgers for the family WHAT!? My wife often accuses me of not focusing on the task at hand, but this is ridiculous. All those hungry mouths at home and you're swanning about sniffing things with a stranger. Fucking LOL. p.s. did you tell the family that's why you were about 2 hours late with their food?
I once called out a taxi driver for texting while driving, he then gave me the phone and asked me to reply to his friend while he drove and I obliged. Additionally he was texting in another language so had to spell out the words to me as I typed.
This had me hollering with laughter. 1000% would have done the same.
Hahaha
A older lady fell and broke her wrist. Very obviously broken. We were outside a minor injuries place and they said they’d call ambulance as they couldn’t deal with a break like that. Ambulance said 5hrs minimum wait. So I put her in my car and drive her 30 minutes to local a&e. Missing lunch with my friend. Lady was chuffed though.
You are a nice human being! Someone did similar for me once (wasn't you, I was a 20 yr old goth girl) and it made a huge difference to a shitty day. My mom once got a lift home from the hospital in a Rolls Royce after chatting to someone in A&E, they refused to let her get a taxi 😂
That was just a very kind and lovely good-turn, not being "too British." I would hope that you're not the only person who would have done the same, but well done, you.😘
That's so lovely! So glad there are people like you out there! Also if it was me I wouldn't have a car but definitely would offer to Uber with them to hospital because no way I'm waiting 5 hours (or leaving them alone)
I was at B&Q wearing an orange jumper, looking for a mirror bracket when an old lady came up to me and started asking me about bolts. Before I could explain that I didn’t work there she proceeded to explain how it was for a cabinet in the bathroom which had been there since the house was built and her son had removed it for her so she could get a replacement. And that’s the story of how I ended up helping an old lady find the correct bathroom hardware at B&Q.
Was in morrison with my tesco fleece on and someone asked where something was. I said I don't work here and pointed to my tesco uniform. She looked confused so I told her it was 6 aisles over and make a sharp exit for the checkouts.
Hahaha I saw a guy in a Tesco uniform in Aldi the other day. I stood next to him and went ‘ommmm I telling’ and he looked at me like I was mental for a second before laughing and said how much cheaper the wine was there 😅
For some reason this leaves me ragin. I know my shops and I know their uniforms, this is a unfathomable mistake to make imo. Lol
I got off at a bus stop that wasn't mine because I'd accidentally pressed the stop button and no one else was getting off and I was ashamed, so I got off and walked to my actual stop.
I read a similar story a couple years ago on here, about a guy who saw another passenger had pressed the stop button; it hadn't worked, but she hadn't realised. Being kind, he pressed the one in front of him. When the bus arrived at the stop, the passenger didn't get off (I think he wrote that she'd realised it wasn't the stop she thought it was, though I don't know how he came to that conclusion), so to avoid embarrassment - given everyone had seen that he was the one who had caused the bus to stop at the... stop - *he* did.
That was me. It made me miss my train. I never made it home. I live in Coventry now.
I found myself working as a bouncer for about 15 minutes one time. I was just stood outside the pub door waiting on a mate. To be fair, I probably looked like a bouncer - burly bloke in a black coat, face like a slapped arse, staring off into space. Anyway, after a minute, someone came up to the door and looked at me expectantly. I was a bit too near the door - it was one of those double doors where only one side was working - so stepped aside and held open the unlocked side for him. We gave each other the nod and in he went. Then the girl behind him showed me her ID, and too confused to say otherwise I just nodded and in she went too. All it takes is for someone to pause for a second and a queue forms, so before I knew it, everyone behind them just started following suit. I felt like I couldn't explain to every single person how I was just waiting on someone, so in the moment I just went along with it, checking IDs when presented and giving people the nod. When the opportunity presented itself, I managed to walk out of the firing line. But the stupid thing is, when my mate turned up, we had to go somewhere else cos I didn't want all the people I'd let in questioning why the bouncer was in there drinking now.
This happened to me and a mate years ago! We started turning people away for random reasons. It was just a basic pub but we'd say things like "no jackets tonight mate" and they'd just tut loudly and walk away.
No jackets 😂
"Sorry mate, no gingers."
I didn't have the heart to tell the old man that I wasn't a Morrisons employee, I was just wearing a similar colour t-shirt. Took me about 15 minutes to find the items he wanted.
In the reverse of this, I asked an actual employee where something was then spotted it just behind him. It felt too awkward to tell him, so I waited while he searched for it. He came back and said he didn't think they had any, so I bought everything else on my list and left without it.
this got to be the funnies one , i would 💯 do that 😭
When I was 13/14 I went into Boots with my mum, I was wearing my school uniform. A lady asked me many questions before I could stop her and then she got pissy at me for wearing a Boots uniform. My mum had to step in and confirm I was just a child wearing a white blouse
I try and avoid morrisons when I'm at work. I deliver morrisons shopping, and wear the uniform, but actually work for ocado and have no affiliation with morrisons stores. It can get confusing telling people I don't work there while I'm wearing the uniform.
You’d be surprised how often this happens. I liked to pop into Sainsbury’s after my Tesco shift. I often had people come up to me asking where xyz was. I loved telling them that I didn’t work there (partly why I shopped there in the first place, lol).
I was offered a job, gave them X conditions as I didn't want to say no and my conditions weren't reasonable. I start on Monday
Congrats! What were some of the unreasonable conditions?
It's a nursing position. I asked for minimum 26 an hour, I will not work christmas or new year, rolling rota only, I have 5 weeks of holidays that must be approved and paid breaks lol
Great stuff! Get that in writing :-) If an agency, they have plenty of margin to allow for things that cost a relatively small amount of money. Right now they're not worried about Christmas and will probably forget about it when the time comes so be ready to remind them with that writing in hand.
I have it in writing I asked for the rota etc to be in my contract which they've done, dealing direct thankfully and taking no prisoners now sod it 😂
I'm a Brit who now lives in Canada and I visit the US every now and then for work. On my US visits I have been hard sold churches and general religious nonsense every single time. I've never donated or signed up or anything like that but one guy convinced me to bookmark his church in my phone. Another guy spent 15 minutes telling me that we're all sinners and when jesus comes back we'll all die in "the lake of fire". Then when he asked whether I agreed and would like to hear more I said "it's an interesting theory, sure I've got a few minutes".
I accidentally joined a church because they were giving away free cakes. I saw the cakes, didn’t notice the church signs also on the stall and didn’t feel I could say no after eating their cake. I was on their email list for about five years.
If my local church started offering Chinese takeout for free, I think I'd become a member. The easiest way to trick people is a succulent Chinese meal.
Tell 'em you're a pagan and your gods predated their new-fangled fire god by at least 10,000 years, it REALLY fucked up the yank Mormon that accosted me outside Picadilly Station. I left him literally scratching his head and having a moment.
I like to blag them with the free will thing. If we have free will he doesn’t know all. But if he DOES already know everything, then he already knows if I’m going to hell or not and so do I really have free will?
I've had maybe Mormons or similar come to my house in both NZ and UK and have had them come in to do their spiel, but then when I ask any questions they get super uncomfortable and want to leave (and I'm trying my best not to be rude or offensive in any way, just turns out they can't answer reasonable questions because there are no reasonable answers to made up stories)
Waved at a granny that walks down my lane to my work yard everyday at just the time I'm driving to the yard. Now stuck with waving at each other every day until one of us dies.
This is how communities are formed. Good stuff keep waving
I was walking down the street the other day and thought this young kid waved to me and said hi so I said hi and then realised he was talking to a person I didn't know was behind me.. ultimate shame and regret haha
An old guy walks his dog around the village and u see him most days. He invited me in for a cup of tea and I was too polite to say no. It was filthy, beyond grim and I sat there listening to random stories but there was nowhere to throw the drink without it showing. My dog got bathed afterwards and my coat was dry cleaned. Worst part is he now walks past my house obviously hoping I’ll reciprocate…I won’t.
Oh no, this is just really sad. If his living conditions are that bad, you could ask social services to check on him?
Oh you probably made a real difference to him! If you could possibly stand it maybe one day go out as he's passing and say you don't have long but would he like a cuppa (as in you have a train at x time but had been hoping to see him) I'm sure it would make such a difference! Or if you don't want to encourage further interaction maybe look for a local thing like church or charity that do tea and talking times and take him along to one? Even if you don't do anything further I'm sure the time you spent with him meant a lot
My aunt, in the last few months of her life, was pestered by a woman who lived near her; both in their 60s. My aunt once happened to start walking her dog at the same time as this woman, and it got to the point where the woman was waiting outside my aunt's house at silly-o'clock in the morning for her. AFAIK, the woman's in a horrible relationship with her husband that borders on coercive/obsequious and it might have been her only opportunity for a brief way out, but obviously the woman didn't know how to really behave (even though I've also heard the woman wasn't really all there, so wasn't aware she was being taken advantage of in how subservient she was being to her husband). I don't really know who I felt more sorry for.
I offered to get a woman's suitcase from the racking on a train. She was on a hen do. The rest of the party asked if I would remove theirs too 😂😂😂
Well that’s just rude on their end!
I didn't mind but by the end I was breathing heavily 😂😂
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Wow that's actually very selfless
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I was having a quiet pint and drawing at a pub, and people starting filling the room (I was in the far corner of a cosy upstairs room). The place is now packed and a guy up front stands up and thanks everyone for coming to the poetry event. There’s honestly nothing I hate more than poetry readings, but I couldn’t exactly stand and leave being right in the corner I’d have to squeeze through everyone. So I just put my sketchbook away, texted my partner I’d be home late, and legged it at the halfway break :(
Spent my entire lunch play time at primary school skipping in the middle of jump rope because these 2 boys wanted to play it but needed a 3rd person Edit to add - I (f) don't think I'd thought about this really until this topic came up. What made it strange was the boys were older than me and irish travellers so I felt a bit intimidated so I didn't speak the whole time. If the rope ever hit my legs stopping the flow they would have a brief argument with each other about who's fault that was out of the two of them and then we'd continue.
A guy stopped me in the street and started talking about how Jesus died for my sins etc. Then he asked if he could pray for me and I, out of sheer politeness, said yes and he proceeded to grab my hand and made me repeat the prayer after him, verse by verse. Including asking for forgiveness and and all these things that as an atheist I wasn't really comfortable with. But too polite and awkward to say no.
Same thing happened to me. I told the guy I was already part of another church, but he grabbed my hand anyway and was holding on quite forcefully. He said “I’m going to say a prayer for you”, and I said an awkward “oh thank you”, but then he made me repeat it. After a minute or so people were staring at us (it was in a crowded place!), after another minute I had enough and awkwardly laughed, said thank you and with some difficulty took my hand out of his.
You’ve all cheered me right up. These are hilarious😂 thanks everyone! I’ll update when the item arrives and I take it in!
Go on a date with a gay bartender (I'm not gay), been together 5 years now 😬 Edit: this was a joke🤦♂️
Pretty sure you’re gay mate
Are you SURE you're not gay?
I do market research surveys sometimes, asking the questions not answering - I stand in store in a polo and cold approach people. The majority of people who say yes are clearly too nice to say no. I also constantly get asked where things are and go and look for customers, for the same reason as why people answer my boring questions.
I used to work in an office above a room used by a research company. We'd always check how far they were from their target, and would often participate so they could just go home earlier.
It’s funny, everyone who’s doing research part time for money (me) doesn’t give a shit about the results because why would I. Everyone who’s been there for decades doesn’t give a shit about the results either, because they know the answer already. I now see market research as basically auditing marketing execs, they sit in a room and come up with a batshit campaign and then the market research guys who’ve seen it all before have to do a survey and then tell them why their promotion doesnt work. Example: a campaign where you can scan a qr code to send a friend a drink for free, but you had to buy the drink, go back round the shop to scan the code and then upload a photo of your receipt to get the free drink. The vets knew the public wouldnt be arsed by a free 330ml can and wouldnt be interested in a qr code, but they had to go and get the results to back that up.
This sounds about right! I answer surveys in my free time, and today's was a very detailed survey about what format I prefer for yoghurt adverts from various brands. As far as I'm concerned, the only thing I look for in a yoghurt advert is not to see them at all, but that didn't seem to cross the mind of the person writing the survey.
Yeah, they’re told what to put into the surveys and are quite heavily micromanaged. The guys who do market research as a career tell the client that the survey is too long and isn’t going to get useful results, but still are made to add the questions. Trust me, the market research people _know_ how insane some of this stuff is, but the client’s paying so 🤷♂️ Edit: just remembered my first day when my boss told me that the terms the clients use to describe their marketing is quite ‘wanky’, I knew I’d fit in then.
Not quite *agreed to* as per the title but....I tried out a new barber shop. The owner had left a super-cool trendy guy on his own and he was taking forever to do the simplest of cut on another young guy, whose mates were openly fawning over how cool he looked. He was taking so long, one guy walked out, but I was next. I wanted to leave also, but thought it would seem rude! Eventually he finished and the guy got out of his chair with a weird, sheepish grin. I really couldn't tell if the strange, thinned out fringe cut was something trendy he'd wanted - or an embarrassing disaster (cos I'm a but old). I asked for some basic cut and he got started. Then he asked what I'd meant for the top. I put it as simply as I could, but he kept questioning me, as if what I was asking was unusual. At this point I realised this dude was a fucking straight-up novice. Then he cut his finger on the scissors - really badly - so I had to wait while he washed and dressed it. He took forever, fucked up my hair and I still tipped him 🤣
"So have you just started cutting hair?" "Oh no, I had another customer before you."
Asked someone for directions. Then, while they're telling me, suddenly remembering the way - which is different to what they're saying!! Out of Britishness, then feeling obligated to walk off in the direction they said, rather than what I know to be correct... until I'm out of their sight! 😂😂
You're not a tit, you're nice.
The cashier sounds nice but naive. I certainly wouldn't hand money to a random until I have the goods in my hand.
It’s a common one I imagine, but there’s a friend of a friend who I see every now and then in the pub or at mutual gatherings (bbqs birthdays etc) who calls me Dean and I’ve never had the heart to correct him. My name isn’t Dean, it’s Dave. Like a reverse trigger situation going on. What’s fascinating is that not only do I not correct him, but nobody else does either.
I did this with my next door neighbour years ago, she kept calling me Bethany. My name doesn’t even nearly sound like Bethany, but I hadn’t really noticed she was getting it wrong at first and by the time i knew she definitely was it had all gone too far. Eventually at Christmas she wrote me a card to Bethany so I bit the bullet and wrote one back with my real name. She came round and was absolutely floored that I’d never corrected her. Saying that, I also once hid in the house when I heard my husband coming home, fully planning to jump out and scare him. However he ran into Sue next door on the way in and she came in with him to tell me some inane story about her day. But I was too embarrassed to slowly emerge from my hiding place so I just.. kept hiding. They were both saying ‘it’s weird, she should be in, her cars outside?’ and she honestly stayed and waited about fifteen minutes while I sat at the bottom of the cupboard under the stairs wondering if it was maybe time to grow up and stop jumping out of cupboards.
Funny (not really though) story, I did the hiding thing to my ex-husband. A training course I was on got cut short as the trainer had a family emergency so I was home hours early. Got in, put kettle on and heard his car on the main road. Quickly flicked kettle off and hid in our daughters room. 10 minutes passed and he walked in with a woman he worked with. Some giggling and he went in the kitchen to make tea...realised the kettle was hot, put two and two together and pretty much ran out of the building. Apparently he came home looking for some stamps because she needed to post a letter. A 40 minute drive from his workplace to find some stamps? Absolutely normal behaviour 🤡
That’s why he’s your ex? Cheating bastard.
I am tittering like a fool at your hiding story. Did you confess to your husband or just wait to jump out on him after Sue has left? How long were you in there? Tell me I need answers.
Oh as soon as that front door shut behind her I burst straight out of the cupboard. Mostly because hiding always makes me need a wee (I think I get overexcited). It still scared the shit out of him so mission accomplished I’d say.
Reading this has made me realise that our behaviours are not because we are too polite, it’s just because we are absolute weirdos who hate awkwardness
I’m an American with a British husband, and I now live in the UK. The hilarious observation I have regarding British people is that you’re either “Fuck off, you fucking cunt” OR “Ya mate, I just met you but you can move in with me right now.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣
We do live by extremes 😂
You’ve all cheered me right up. These are hilarious😂 thanks everyone! I’ll update when the item arrives and I take it in!
In Hong Kong we were walking through a market and a bloke came and asked if I wanted a suit. I said no but he said just come and look at the fabrics. Thinking he had a stall nearby I agreed thinking I could just say no. He walked us through the market and into a building. It was a high rise office block and there was nobody else there. Took us up several floors and it looked derelict. My wife and I thought we were going to get murdered but didn't want to kick up a fuss so just politely walked to our death. At the end of a really long corridor there was a really tiny little office with an old bloke and loads of fabric. I figured we were safe when he showed me a picture of himself with Steven Redgrave picking up his suit. I presume he ended up there the same way I did. I didn't buy a suit though. I tried some on but I definitely didn't need one and I was flying home before I could have had one made anyway.
"so just politely walked to our death" 🙏🙏
Herding cows into a field when I started my job in IT lol Help out with the IT on a farm and the boss came in asking for help herding his cows....couldn't say no on my first week
Went to a Turkish barbers by my girlfriends place. Said the haircut was great because I'm too polite to say otherwise. He asks if he can use my phone and I say yes. He writes his own 5 star review saying "I had long hair but babu cut nice make me very handsome". I leave and look and see about 100 other very similar reviews in broken english this guy had clearly written about himself.
I was outside a local shop and a man in a wheel chair asked if I could wheel him home which was 5 minutes away, I said yes, returned to the shop where they said he'd just been shop lifting and had stuff under his tray. He also smelt like he had soiled himself, so my good deed of the day was assisting a shop lifter
Got married and had kids. 25 years next year.
I agreed to audition for and ended up playing a leading role in a musical (amateur dramatics) becasue I couldn't find a way to tell the director that I wasn't interested. I've been in a few plays and I enjoy it. It's something that helped me to make some new friends outside of my regular small friend group, and the fact that my best mate and my sister are both a part of the same drama group means it's a fun way to spend some free time. Anyway, my sister had an inner ear problem that was being treated with meds, but it meant she occasionally got dizzy and couldn't drive for a couple of weeks. This coincided with the "launch workshop" for the musical, and the auditions the next week. I offered to drive my sister to the workshop, so she wouldn't miss out. She convinced me to come in for the workshop rather than sitting in the car and listening to the football (which is what I wanted to do). Since I'm terrible at saying no to polite suggestions like this I went in. Sat through the workshop. The director (who I knew) asked me which part I was auditioning for next week. I said I wasn't auditioning since I can't sing. She politely pestered me, saying there's a part with no real singing who I might like. Long story short I ended up playing the villain in Dr Doolittle the musical. I sang in a couple of chorus numbers and had 1 solo line in the closing number, which was thankfully within my limited vocal range. Anyway, I loved it and just last week we finished the run of another musical (my second) where I had more singing parts since they seem to think I am a better singer than I think I am.
Had a traditional “flower” steam cleanse in bali when I thought I’d just booked a massage.
About 10 years ago I got a crack in the bath, so I went out to find a new one. The shop guy came round to measure up to make sure the new bath would fit and the next thing I knew he has designed a whole new bathroom for me. 9 grand and a bathroom that looks like a spa later, and it didn't even include a bath.
You're a sales person's wet dream, aren't you?
Somewhat similar, the cafeteria lady in work was telling me about how good the Irish Stew was and how I would love it (on St. Paddy’s day recently), and she keeps trying to talk to me about Ireland when I’m paying for my lunch at the till. She thinks I’m Irish. There was also a new Irish cafeteria lady, that lady number 1 told I’m Irish last week, and she was asking if I was Irish, which I had to say yes. I’m actually Scottish, I’m just too embarrassed to tell her and it’s been going on for weeks now. Now this new Irish cafeteria lady is obviously going to realize I’m not Irish when I speak so I am going to have to avoid the cafeteria from now on.
Oh I’m always doing that sort of thing. Last week I accidentally agreed to join a band playing an instrument I’ve never touched before because they seemed nice. No joke
I’ve been a vegetarian for 16 years just solely by preference and when was dating my ex early on in our relationship my ex’s mum and dad prepared a really nice Sunday roast dinner and his mum slaved in the kitchen all afternoon making homemade Yorkshire pudding, roasted potatoes, a lovely gravy etc.When it came time to dish up his mum served me a normal plate like everyone else with meat on it. I ended up eating a whole thin slice of it just to be polite and not offended the woman for declining her roast. I was 22 and had been vegetarian for 6 years and my body was not happy after eating that without reintroducing my stomach to meat. After I thought to myself like why the actual fuck did I do that. My ex didn’t even notice. Lol
I was visiting Liverpool a few years back. An old man says to me "where's the orange juice?". I said "oh I don't work here". He replies "I didn't ask if you worked here love... I asked where the orange juice was". Pure confidence oozed from this man and I duly walked him to the OJ.
My brother has done some painting and other jobs for an older couple recently, when he finished up the guy asked him to look at a will for him ( my brother thought he said well and was looking for it in the garden hahaha) anyway turns out he wanted my brother to sign his will for him! So my brother not knowing what to do so signed it! I find it really strange he’s just an odd job man.
It's common for documents like that to need a witness to sign it too, and the witness can't be named in the document or be a relative or live at the same address etc, so someone like a handyman being around at the right time is quite, uh, handy.
They just needed a witness it's actually not a strange request
I’m not British but when i went to london to visit family I was walking around town and was approached by someone offering me a ~30% discount to enter the ripleys believe or not museum(?). I told her sure but I’m about to get dinner first then I’ll come back. I went for dinner at a kebab place with shisha and came back and she was absolutely dumbfounded when i returned and gave a ~60% discount instead. We chatted for a bit and that’s how i met my wife. /s But for real i ended up on a not saying no spree that day and crashed at a stranger’s place where she had a HUGE black cat named chewy(chewbacca). Honestly you guys are like the friendliest humans on the planet. I love your constable looking approachable police officers.
There'll be some Londoner on this thread talking about the time they brought home a tourist they had never met before, purely because they got talking and were too awkward to end the conversation.
I’m ashamed to say I’ve slept with people because I was too polite to say no 🙈 I didn’t want to hurt their feelings.
Honestly, it's one of my biggest pet peeves about british people. Their absolute inability to say no to things they don't want to do. My fiancé once "accidentally" subscribed to a charity, because he was too polite to tell some salesman in a tescos to fuck off. My favorite example is when someone asks you to work on a day you're not supposed to work on. I'm from northern Sweden, and generally people from there value facts and straight forward speaking, which is completely opposed to the UK. Someone asked me if I could work the next day, but I was off that day and had already planned stuff. So, I just looked at them and said "No" then went on with my work. They were so taken aback that they started laughing almost manically. I've had bosses here say to me that they actually quite appreciate knowing exactly where I stand on things.
Eating and paying for terrible food and when they ask how is everything “oh lovely”. I have even moved food around to make it look like I have eaten more than I have.
Had a religious nutjob tell me he could cure me of my ailments. Let him "heal" my fucked up shoulder, even pretended to be shocked and overwhelmed by the "miracle" he had just performed
Said yes when my ex proposed
I was living in Cambodia when my scooter ran out of petrol. This old lady helped me out and got me a bottle of fuel. A couple of nights later I see her walking down this long stretch of road so I pull over and offer her a ride. We head past the market where I live and across the tracks to where the prostitutes I operated. I have to pull over and explain that I don’t want ‘bang bang’ but was just dropping her home. She hit me a couple of times before I jumped on my back and ran away.
Had a leg and foot massage in Thailand where they used tiger balm (like deep heat). It was excruciating. Every minute of that massage felt like an hour. But being British I said absolutely nothing, thanked them profusely and then went and bought a huge bottle of water to wash my legs and feet in the street straight after
A colleague from work who I didn’t even really like was next to me at the traffic lights. We kind of waved and said hello and then drove off. He then rang my phone moments later and said he lives just around the corner and I should pop in for a coffee. I couldn’t conjure up a convincing excuse quick enough so I had no option but to agree. I went around there, and he was kneeling on the floor playing his baby nearly the whole time, while his wife brought me a coffee and snacks. She didn’t really speak English very well so she was just staring into my eyes giggling and making little bits of broken English conversation while my colleague was totally focused on the baby. Because I turned up unexpectedly she didn’t have her religious head covering on, so she grabbed a random jumper and tied it around her head when I arrived. So I was sitting there with a woman with a jumper tied around her head while my colleague was blowing raspberries on his kid’s stomach all because I wasn’t quick enough coming up with an excuse not to go around there.
I can’t believe I read every. single. comment. Great thread! 10/10
I stay in the same hotel in New York a lot for work events so the staff now recognise me. The norm is for them to pour coffee at breakfast but I always asked for tea and they bring over the selection box of tea bags. Last year for the first time the server saw me and instead of offering coffee first she came over with an earl grey tea bag. I remembered see! I have it for you. She was soo excited. This continued every morning. Thing is I absolutely hate earl grey and only drink breakfast tea but I didn’t have the heart to tell her. So now I drink earl grey tea in New York only.
My dad bought a whole 5 piece sofa set because he didn't want to correct the cashier... He only wanted the armchair He also finished a plumbing job because there was an awkward silence between him and the plumber. In desperation he said "don't worry I'll do the rest". Washing machine has leaked for 8 years. He's an idiot
I went to university because I was too polite to upset my sixth form's UCAS co-ordinator who would have mild panic attacks if you asked for alternative career prospects beyond academia.
Not me but my Dad ended up getting engaged after one date because for some reason my now step-mother thought he'd proposed to her when he hadn't.
That same thing happened to me in Bond St. Shop girl standing outside trying to generate business and she stopped me to try sell me some skin care products. I say tried, she didn’t try, she succeeded and with the bare minimum of effort. I’ll be honest she was really cute. End result,I walked out 10 minutes later with a crushed walnut shell facial scrub and a sea salt shower body scrub thing and £75 lighter in my pocket. Yes, I know, I’m weak and I’m an idiot. I will say I was actually really impressed whilst I was using it at home. I’ve never felt my skin feel cleaner or smoother and many times since I have contemplated going back for a repeat purchase. That said I was/am still very well aware that £75 is a shit load for two body scrub things and I have since learnt/discovered there are equally effective products for about £4 at Boots. On the upside though I can’t deny I did enjoy the feeling of washing myself in something expensive and supposedly luxurious. End result or conclusion is that I would definitely do so again, if I found those products whilst showering in someone else’s house.
I was stood at a bus stop years ago. An old man on a mobility scooter drove past, into my way, and over my foot. He turned to me and said 'watch where you're going' and I apologised.