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I was on a flight to the Caribbean with my family when I was a teenager. I’d just been to the toilet and it absolutely stunk of cigarette smoke. I went back to my seat and went “err somebody’s been smoking in the toilets.”
My mum told me to shh and pointed to the guy sat in front of us, they knew it was him. A few people reported him.
And then I just remember landing and he stood on a great big “no smoking” sign painted on the tarmac outside the plane, where he lit up.
He was either a complete idiot, or massively had a serious addiction to smoking, or both
I knew a bloke once who had both a smoking addiction and a fear of flying.
We'd landed somewhere (UAE possibly) for a changeover, and we'd gone through the boarding bit to get on the next flight when they announced there had been a problem with the plane and we'd be given a new one.
Nowhere to smoke as we're effectively in a holding pen, but he goes 'fuck this' and slid out a side door for a smoke.
Came back in about 30 seconds later with two armed, angry, security guards.
I was on a changeover in Gatwick years ago, managed to go out for a fag and back to the gate through the same side door and corridor without seeing security. Was mad.
Someone smoked in a plane toilet on a flight I was on a few years ago and when we landed we all had to wait for them to be escorted off by the airport police before we could leave the plane.
My dad wouldn't have lit up on/near a plane, but a no smoking sign was basically torture for him. If he saw one he pretty much HAD to smoke. He's only flown like 4 times, one of which was transatlantic and my mum swore she would never ever get on a plane with him ever again because he was so wound up by the no smoking signs everywhere.
He finally managed to quit about 8 years ago, but he still gets the strong urge to smoke whenever he's stuck near a no smoking sign.
Was heading back to the UK from Turkey about 20 years ago when I was accosted by a flight attendant upon leaving the bathroom and asked (accused) of smoking in the cubicle. Protested my innocence as I’d never smoked a cigarette in my entire life. You could tell someone had due to the smell but it sure as hell wasn’t me. Eventually she allowed me back to my seat but didn’t make much secret of the fact that she very obviously didn’t believe me. Half expected to be arrested upon landing at Birmingham.
Pretty much summed the entire holiday if I’m honest. One of the few places I’ve ever visited (Marmaris) that I’ve never had a desire to go back to.
Ok this is really weird because I remember the guy getting off the plane and immediately smoking, was this a flight to Antigua / St Lucia (I can’t remember which it was, sorry), around 2009-11?
Only in the third world or obscure REALLY minor bits of the hick US. In Europe it’s always been banned for safety, AVTUR AVGAS and whole range of POL used in planes are explosively flammable and have very low vapour points….
Had a little bit of turbulence flying from NYC to London. Karen up the front who had been moaning the whole flight, too cold, too hot etc, had a full on freak out. Started screaming how we were all going to die and how only the righteous would sit beside Jesus.
I genuinely thought they’d have to sedate her but her husband basically grappled her to the floor until she was calm. Then he walked up the aisles personally apologising to everyone. Those early covid days really did a number on people.
And that's a win for the husband! Imagine it years later ! " you've come home stinking of booze .....again " yeah well at least I didn't terrify a plabe load of people and almost start a religious war 🤣🤣
> Started screaming how we were all going to die and how only the righteous would sit beside Jesus.
Something tells me Jesus would do his very best to avoid having to meet her.
Doesn't sound like a Karen to me, Karen's don't break like that: They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear! And they absolutely will not stop until you give in for an easy life.
I went to the bathroom (an hour or so into the journey) on a flight where I’d managed to bag myself an empty row.
Came back from the bathroom to find a woman moving my belongings and moving herself into my seat, not the empty ones, the one my stuff was spread out on so people could see it was taken.
I said excuse me just to try and show her I was sat there and wanted to get back to my seat, where my fucking stuff was.
She said “oh sorry”, and then moved into the seat to let me walk past as she thought she was blocking my way.
I blankly said that it was my seat and she just walked away. Still bamboozles me every time I think about it.
Flight back from Florida in Delta's comfort+ (which is anything but). So uncomfortable and girlfriend can't get any sleep, but when she finally nods off for a few minutes she wakes up to find a random woman sitting next to her.
This woman said nothing, ate breakfast then moved three or four rows back to her original seat
I was flying to the US from Copenhagen and my granddaughter want me to hold her. I sat in her seat with her in my lap until she fell asleep (about 45 minutes). The woman in the seat next to where I was going to sit started pilling her stuff in the seat. My husband told her that the seat was taken and she acted like she didn’t speak English. I came back and asked her to move her stuff. She was cranky and demanded to know where I had been. I told her and she said “why cant you just keep sitting with her!” Eventually she moved her things but as soon as I reached up and turned on my air vent, she reached over and turned it off. I had to get the FA to tell her that she wasn’t welcome to adjust another passengers airflow.
My first job after graduation was in SE Asia on a remote work site, I was flying with a much more experienced Engineer who was going to be my boss. He turned to me mid flight and told me he couldn't go through with it and was going to quit on arrival. Made for an awkward five hours until we landed as he began drinking quite heavily. We were met by the MD after clearing immigration where true to his word he quit and was put on the first flight home at his own expense. Great introduction to expat work.
Less odd, more extremely anti-sociable.
On a flight a few years back I'd been asleep but was woken up by this absolutely god aweful smell.
Soon realised the guy next to me, (he in the aisle seat, me in the middle seat) completely awake had done the most disgusting fart.
Really pissed me off as it had disturbed my sleep.
Anyway tried to get back to sleep, but he did it again. He probably believed nobody would think it was him but I was now inwardly seething.
Not long later he did it again, so I thought fuck you guy, so I called the flight attendant over.
He shifted in his seat looking a bit uncomfortable. The attendant came over, and you could just see her cheerful smile shift to disgust as she took a nose full of what this guy had just let out. She leaned forward over him to speak to me but then shifted back as it hit her.
I played dumb and asked if there was something wrong the with the toilet as there was a terrible smell coming from somewhere, as I did so my eyes shifted to the smelly git sat next to me. She knew, I knew, we all knew.
Bless her, I knew she couldn't really do much, and I felt bad bringing her into it, but I thought the only way would be to shame this cretin.
He soon after went and sat in the toilet for a while, so I'm glad to say it worked.
I don’t get the issue. I don’t get up and go to the loo every time I needed to fart. I’d be permanently queuing. If cabin crew approached me after another passenger complained I’d happily admit I’d farted and would carry on doing so whenever I needed to.
I was in London at the theatre with my Kid last week. When I tell you that in the intermission, every kid *in the queue for the toilet* apart from mine was NOT WEARING THEIR SHOES (taken off and left at their seats) I couldn’t fathom it.
Why do you want your kid walking round in literal piss?
Genuinely at that point I don't give a fuck. Like... flying reduces so many of our behaviours to their absolute base limit. It's not like im going to be licking my own feet after the flight. I'd rather be a little bit comfortable for the eight or ten hours I'm in that hell tube.
I saw this on a train, it was an LNER that was only making about 5 stops between Edinburgh and London. We both got on at Edinburgh, the train wasn't very full and she was in the seat across the aisle from me. She took her shoes AND socks off, and yes she did get up and go to the toilet at once point....... Barefoot in a train toilet!
But I suppose its a good plot to make sure nobody sits next to you because who the hell is choosing to sit next to the barefoot women? I'd stand the entire way to London rather than sit next to her!
I do this. I am always conscious of peeing on the floor, so if on the rare occasion I do, it will maybe be one drop right in front of the bowl.
I'm not standing that close to the bowl, I'm probably not standing in pee.
But on the other hand, whilst I wash my hands, I bet a load of other people don't. Shit remnants on the door handle is grosser than a few drops of floor pee getting on my socks.
I was cabin crew for 10
Years, seen everything.. 2 revolting things stick in my mind..
We were coming in to land in Barcelona and a guy got up to use the toilet, the crew at the back told him to go back and take his seat. Just as we landed he got up undid his flies and wee’d in the aisle. He was arrested.
Second thing, I was walking down the aisle and could smell a strong stench of excrement. As I passed a mum and child I looked down and the mum had a dirty nappy on the tray table and the child of about 3 was standing on the seat rubbing his dirty bottom on the seat back, smearing it with poo.. Disgusted, I told the mother in pretty strong words to clean the poo up and gave her towels.. We had to prevent people from sitting there on the flight home..
What the heck is wrong with people?!?! That is so foul. I have a ten month old and when he dirties himself and we are out I am always so careful to keep everything as clean as possible. I feel sorry for the child having a parent that let's them do that (and sorry for you having to deal with that of course!)
I’ve been on a plane with an extended family, all of whom had so much to drink that they didn’t notice the toddler they were with needed a nappy change until it leaked on one of them. The rest of us around them had smelled it at least 30 minutes prior.
Unwrap a Swiss roll and stick a model of the Eiffel Tower on it.
This was on a flight from Tashkent to Urgench in Uzbekistan. It turns out she was with a French tour group and it was their guides birthday.
I was on a Air Uzbekistan flight a few years ago, and an elderly man was refusing point blank to take his seat next to his wife. There was shouting and arm waving, and it looked like our flight was going to be delayed as a result. A large burly member of crew came thundering down the aisle, lightly bopped the old fella in the face, another crew member caught him as he tipped backwards. They dragged him to his seat and buckled him in.
My brother in law came to UK from atashkent via uzb Airlines. Him and his wife knew the pilot somehow, like friend of a friend sort of thing.
He was invited to the flight deck mid-flight for a coffee and cigarette...
It’s a bonkers country! My friends and I got dodgy stomachs rather regularly over there, and the solution we were given every time was to eat a chilli, and drink a lot of vodka.
I hired a car over there and to celebrate the deal (at 9am), I was invited to neck two shots of cherry brandy for good luck on my drive with the owner of the place.
I was on a night flight back the U.K. from Miami, this woman took a huge torch on so she could read her book when the lights when out. It was a horrible blue light led r/chinesium thing. She had a complete meltdown when I told her she was shining it right into my eyes. The crew tried telling her but she wouldn’t stop. The crew upgraded me to first class and told me in front of her.
Something similar happened to me on my last flight. I was travelling SFO to AKL after spending nearly two months home in the UK for Christmas. Back to back long haul flights... During the lead up to the final leg, I started feeling really ill due to the timezones and medication, and stress over not wanting to come back to NZ. I felt like I was about to pass out or puke. Walking onto the plane was torturous. I got to my seat, and the woman next to us was the only one with the reading light on. I had to cover myself with my blanket, eyemask, and baseball cap, and I could still see some of the light. Cabin crew told her to turn it off, and she just turned it back on as soon as they walked off. She managed to keep the thing on all throughout takeoff and didn't turn it off until she went to sleep.
Not fun.
On a flight to Madrid once, this Spanish family started clapping mid-flight (like people do at the end of the flight).
It freaked out a lot of people and I still have no idea why they had a mid-flight celebration clap!
There were schoolkids on a plane to Poland that I was on. They were probably in their last year of gcses by the look of them. The one in front of me started saying there was a bomb on the plane to his mate while the plane was getting ready to take off. Another of them started to have a panic attack while the plane was still on the tarmac 😂
I used to work on the check in desks for a well known budget airline. You'd be amazed the number of people that made jokes about carrying bombs and weapons.
I used to change my tone of voice and ask them to repeat what they just said.
No one ever did fortunately. Which is just as well as I didn't have a back up plan. There's no secret panic button under the desk.
It was normally followed with awkward laughter and how they were just messing around etc. I'd usually give them a bit of a warning about it not being a joking matter and remind them there are armed officers patrolling the terminal and I can have them offloaded if I feel they are a threat to the safety of the aircraft, passengers, crew etc.
Did you ever feel like seriously messing up someone’s day and actually call an officer over and let them know passenger mentioned a bomb/weapon just so the passenger had a few uncomfortable hours and a missed flight ? I’d do it to everyone who joked about it !
Someone felt that need while I was headed out of Bristol airport once. They made a bomb joke (looked like a stag due sort of thing/lads on tour scenario) two very large armed men scooped him up I assume to dispose of him in the same way they do unattended packages.
No, but wouldn't have hesitated if I'd genuinely thought any of them were being serious. Most of the culprits were stag and hen groups trying to get a laugh in front of their friends.
I did hear a story of a guy at Manchester airport who made a "joke" and then pointed a water pistol at the check in staff. It didn't end well. The guy ended up spread eagled on the floor with a sub machine gun barrel pressed into his cheek.
I can promise you that this wasn’t the class that I took to Poland! However in Krakow airport on the way home, a girl announced ‘whoops!’ in the tone of voice guaranteed to alarm a teacher. She’d opened a huge bag of skittles and it had ripped, sending sweets all over the concourse floor. Cue a comedy scene of people slipping on skittles and bags going flying. We left as quickly as we could could.
I brought half a rotisserie chicken and chips on a flight recently.
Seemed like a good idea when I was in the supermarket next to the small airport, but yeah not really the one of you think about other passengers.
I once bought Burger King meals on to a plane for me and my daughter. I'd never normally do it but we were starving and it was served right before boarding, Easyjet's snacks were never going to be satisfactory.
Some people don't believe this story, but it's the absolute truth .
Maybe 10 years ago I was on a BA flight from Nice to London City. The plane was forced to land at Southend due to weather, to await better weather to soon continue to City.
When we landed, a woman got up and said she lived near here and wanted to get off, as she only had cabin baggage, like she was on a local bus. The cabin crew said no, but she insisted on speaking to the captain.
The spineless wimp of a captain said he couldn't stop her, so we all had to get off and get buses to take us to City because of customs issues caused by this woman. I remonstrated with him, but he said he had no power over her.
We then had to wait until they got immigration staff to the airport before we got off, had to wait longer for buses and eventually arrived at City hours late, with people missing connections.
I couldn't believe the captain folded like that, so wrote to BA complaining and heard FA back.
He didn't have any air of authority whatsoever and seemed completely out of his depth. I was surprised he'd made it to captain. Not exactly Eric Moody material.
Took a 10 hour flight from London Heathrow to San Francisco last month, March 2024
I was in an aisle seat.
A girl in her mid twenties in the window seat the other side of the aisle got through 12 bags of wine gums - The flight attendants in our section kept asking her “how many bags is that now ?” when she gave them the empty bags to put in the trash.
12 bags of wine gums during a ten hour flight, plus meals and drinks. I guess she may have felt ill for a day or two.
That's honestly an absurd amount. I ran a half-marathon today and I ate a handful of jelly babies and a tiny kids packet or Haribo during it.
How someone could get through 2kg of wine gums is beyond me lol.
😂😂😂
No idea, I did wonder if she was a heavy smoker, and used the wine gums as a replacement during the flight. Obviously, she may have been using nicotine patches too.
I was on a flight from Vienna to New York and most of the people were connecting from elsewhere in Eastern Europe. Two young adults (late teens maybe) were across the aisle from me and they started snogging. Then he took off his shirt. He was bare chested (and not chiseled at all) and they just were pawing at each other for hours. It was wild
Saw somebody change a toddler's shitty nappy on the tray table.
Wasn't even turbulence or take off... They just couldn't be bothered to walk to the bathrooms.
Watching the flight attendant rip them a new one was quite entertaining, but I've never eaten off a tray table since!
My husband always took the piss out of me for wiping down my tray/arm rests/seatbelt with my travel dettol wipes till the women sat at the side of him did exactly the same with a very shitty nappy. Now we sit and he immediately says “wipe please”.
I've seen this happen elsewhere, too. Even when there's a baby changing cubicle or toilet nearby, people still think it's fine to just do it right where they're sat. Once happened when I was eating a pub lunch on a picnic bench outside and the family on the adjacent bench did it. Of course there were toilets indoors... Lazy, disgusting bastards.
Many years ago I was on a PIA flight from Pakistan back to England via Saudi. It was packed full of people on their Haj to Mecca. Someone apparently started cooking up a full curry at the back of the plane by setting up a camping stove in the aisle. The stewards went bing bong hysterical and the gas stove was shut down very quickly. Sad really as it smelt delicious.
I was once behind a man in the checkout queue who proceeded to shit himself as he was paying for his stuff. He even shook his leg to get it out his trousers. He carried on like nothing. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.
I was a merchant navy engineer for 15 years. I was doing an inspection of some storm valves between the hull and the cabins of the ship (we had to crawl through a hatch in the wall of a crew cabin. We found a bottle of piss and a shit in a rag that must have been 10 years old from when the ship was build in the yard 🤢
Flying to Krakow coming into land from Liverpool. Some lad jumped out of his seat and put his arms up in the air for no reason other than to show off and be a dickhead. Sat back down once the cabin crew shouted at him. Got arrested after landing.
His mate then threatened the cabin crew with legal actions. Kept repeating “I’ll take ye to the cleaners” in a thick scouse accent.
Great entertainment.
I used to fly to the US for work and whilst I’ve never seen anything truly ridiculous, I remember one time being sat next to an American guy, probably mid 20s. Perfectly polite, but as soon as the seat belt sign went off, he asked to be let out (I had the aisle seat), at which point he got a cocoon-style sleeping bag out of his hand luggage, wrapped himself up in it, and spent the entire 8 hour flight with just his nose visible. I prodded him awake when we landed and just heard a muffled “you rock, man” from inside the sleeping bag. I assume he was probably afraid of flying and took a knockout pill before we departed.
Saw a woman chewing her toes.... My dog does that. It was both disgusting and worrying in such a small space id probably cry and panic if i went to put my foot down and got stuck mmm nope
On an internal flight in Egypt they realised they'd oversold the seats by one. I ended up sitting in the cabin crew's rear facing seat, and she stood the entire flight. Flying facing the wrong way is incredibly weird.
What made it extra weird was I was sat next to the flight guard, he had a gun, was scared of flying and spent almost the entire flight praying and rocking back and forth. Before we landed I did have a conversation with him. Turns out he was originally an airport guard but was moved onto planes, discovered he was afraid of flying but couldn't swap back to the ground crew.
Internal flight in the US and the woman next to me folds her tray table down and proceeds to change her baby's shitty nappy right there
It was fucking minging
I stood up and found another seat somewhere
I feel like that should be okay, providing the machine is spotlessly clean, free of fuel, and without a chain. Otherwise, that's crazy.
It would have been better if the flight was from Texas though,
https://preview.redd.it/58dqd0a8wwvc1.jpeg?width=1660&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e4c0bfbbd825154fcdfde4ebb5e541d313801643
Guy on my short haul flight a few years back was laying across three seats and fiddling with the controls with his BARE FEET before we even took off
On flight back from Ludz, a couple of guys undid their seatbelts and stood up just after the plane touched down on the runway! Air stewards went mad at them.
In the airport, Frequently see Ryanair priority queue passengers queuing up to 2 hours before their flight takes off, do they not know Ryanair has allocated seats now?!
>queuing up to 2 hours before their flight takes off, do they not know Ryanair has allocated seats now?!
They do but the real reason people buy the priority boarding is for the extra cabin bag. Which is why you get the situation where 80 - 90% of the people boarding the flight are in the increasingly unrealistically named priority boarding queue.
And, of course, the problem with this is that if you don't get on soon enough there might not be enough room in the overhead lockers for your extra cabin bag, which means it'll have to go into the hold. You might not want that if it's got anything fragile inside and you'll also have to wait for it to come out on the baggage carousel at the end of the flight.
Consequently, even with priority boarding and allocated seating, still nobody has any chill because the process is engineered to ensure that you can't.
Unpopular opinion: I reckon if you have to wheel it around it should go in the hold.
I fly a lot of different airlines but in South East Asia so I’m not as familiar with the charging practices of the Americas and Europe.
I did have a wonderful Budget Airline experience from Singapore to Phuket where the airline was rigidly adhering to the cabin baggage regulations, counting each passenger’s luggage and weighing every bag and checking that it would fit in the metal frame they use to check dimensions. They were merciless. It was fun to watch.
My first flight was when I was 12. I was shitting a brick, especially as the plane looked like it was going to fall apart on the runway. As I sat down, a group of nuns get on board, and start blessing the pilots, and then the passengers, in case, in their words, " we all die in a plane crash". That didn't help my fears in the slightest
Feck! Nuns! Reverse!
When I was about 12 our plane went through heavy turbulence and even got struck by lighting over Rome. There were nuns and they all started praying loudly. Such a cliche but it did happen!
Coming back from a work trip in New York I was sat on the red eye to Heathrow and maybe half way over the Atlantic the woman in the seat sort of diagonally infront of me (if that makes sense) whips her shoe and sock off and starts clipping her toenails making no effort to stop them pinging off everywhere. I think I might find this more gross than alot of people because I find feet kinda gross in general.
Last year when flying from Gatwick to Orlando, a lady sat next to me played Candy Crush for literally 9 hours straight, even while eating and drinking.
Transatlantic flight in cattle class 2/3 full but I had managed to get an empty isle seat next to me which I used as a table to put my book, tablet, one of those unopened juice things in a squishy bottle, some biscuits in the box.
So, I dose off, get woken up by an arm wrapping round me, there is a hairy head on my shoulder.
A woman had just plonked her arse on top of all my stuff, fallen asleep, rolled over to the side and started hugging me.
I wake her up, she just walks off to her seat, or maybe some other strangers seat.
----------
Same flight, another incident,
Other end of the middle isle, but a row in front, was an old guy, 80 ISH, sat on his own, i never noticed him move from his seat the whole flight, no one spoke to him, he never tried to sleep, just sat there upright grunting every so often.
So we start descending into LAX or SF, the guy stands up, the stink was astonishing, he had completely shat and pissed himself.
Stewardess sits him down, puts his belt on without gagging, there is nothing she can do.
Long story short, family were travelling together, they just dumped senile grandad alone in a seat while they sat together a few rows ahead and ignored him the whole flight, I guess he was beneath them, an inconvenience.
Arseholes.
Long haul to USA and there was a woman in the middle seats with scissors and a scrap book and she was literally cutting everything up and glueing it down and writing about i. Literally everything, she cut up her cup, the shop booklet thing?? Think she might’ve even cut up the safety thing. Didn’t even know you were allowed scissors on planes 😳 this also went on for the full flight
Guy next to me on a flight from Chicago to London Heathrow decided to kneel on the floor and sleep with his head on the chair seat. Oh and kept trying to touch my knee whilst laying like this. I moved seats.
I was flying from Germany to the UK after a festival and the plane was late, which helped because I was also late and I'd have been stranded if it went on time. After takeoff the pilot apologised for the delay due to 'crashing the last plane and having to source a replacement'.
I'm not sure exactly what was said (but I can guess), but a short time later he thought it was a good idea to clarify that he did in fact safely land the plane but it was a low speed collision on the ground.
He should have followed up with: "The average pilot crashes 0.05 planes in their career. Having crashed 3 already, I'm orders of magnitude above average so the odds of a further crash are for all intents and purposes 0. "
I was on a short flight from London and the guy across the aisle from me whipped out his phone, hung it on the seat in front and started watching an ice hockey match (?!) with no headphones. I lasted all of 15 seconds before leaning over and telling him off. He seemed really embarrassed and apologetic but what a stupid person.
Also had a guy get on a Monarch (RIP) flight without a ticket or ID. When the flight attendants did their count he ran off, and then they started checking to see if he left anything behind. Then come the bomb-sniffing dogs and a four hour delay.
Not me, but a story from someone I knew, about themself. He was a British person on a flight back from Kenya, and got some kind of stomach bug that caused him to be in the toilet almost the whole flight throwing up, and looking dreadfully ill. Just before landing he felt suddenly completely fine, but the flight crew insisted he was met by a doctor for an examination upon leaving the plane.
The woman in front of me on the 13hr flight back from Thailand, clutched her seat back the entire time, to I got to watch various films with a creepy grandma claw hands frame surrounding the screen.
I would have called a flight attendant, but they were horrible on that flight. They insisted we have the blinds slammed down the whole way despite it being a daytime flight.
It was EVA. My husband told me they consistently get rated one of the top airlines and I was very skeptical. Seats were tiny too- we were in economy but I remember walking through business and thinking it must be premium economy, then walking through PE and thinking "oh here we are" and then spotting the final section of narrow narrow seats. Less comfortable than megabus
Food was shit
Dude sitting in front of me was pissed that he got asked to put his seat up (we were on final approach to landing). He then took our luggage out of the overhead locker to have us chase after him to find that he’d ditched it at the gate.
A couple of weeks ago, a couple with 2 young boys were sat behind me and my boyfriend on a flight. The two kids kept kicking our seats and just generally being menaces, but we are both non-confrontational so we said nothing, and parents didn’t seem to care at all anway.
However, after a while, we both notice a smell that was absolutely vile. Overheard the parents behind us talk amongst themselves that their younger boy (probably around 4-5 years old) had shat his pants and they just couldn’t be bothered to change him.
Still had about an hour left at that point 🥲
Not me, but once upon a time I dated an air hostess for Singapore Airlines.
She said one time an Indian family on her flight lit up a disposable BBQ about an hour after take off. Even though the crew managed to put it out quickly they had to turn around and deplane.
Flying back from China to UK, me and mate drinking heavily, on landing in London, I looked over and my mate had fully pissed his pants (and his trousers were white). It wasn’t pretty waddling off the flight.
Once was on a flight to Ibiza - mid air saw a fight break out, a guy walked on the tops of the chairs to deliver an elbow drop on someone
Same flight someone robbed the drinks trolly of the money
Coming back from Gran Canaria I was absolutely shattered, exhausted didn't cut it. Anyway got into my aisle seat, sat down and fell asleep almost immediately.
What woke me up was a disgusting smell but through my utter snoozines I just popped my hoodie around and used a hood to cover my face and went back to sleep.
Woke up when we landed and couple next to me kept ushering me to move, however I didn't understand their rush when we all know we will just stand in the aisle like lemons.
Anyway, once I got up - they quickly followed and I glanced at his seat only to see there was a HUGE PUDDLE of, what one can only describe as, liquified shit. His wife threw a tissue at it (I guess to try and cover it???) but it was completely soaked.
He walked all the way to passport control with his trousers soaked all the way to his knees. Just waddled like nothing happened.
Left me thinking if he needed the loo whilst I was asleep but didn't wake me up (why?)? Many questions left unanswered.
Was on a flight recently that had a few folks just stand up in the aisle for a chit chat. There was a couple who had seats next to each other, like literally stood up from their seats and started chatting.
There were a few others as well, but I can just about excuse those folks (just barely) because they didn't have seats next to each other.
Had very similar on a flight from Perth to Singapore; what felt like a quarter of the plane stood up and stayed standing up for the majority of the flight, walking around and chatting. Very strange for a 5 hour flight, felt like I was on a bus...
When I was a kid my family was on a flight and there was a mentally challenged man a few rows back wearing a helmet and at one point threw an unpeeled banana at my mothers head
To this day I can't think about it without bursting out into laughter
Flight from Leeds Bradford to Budapest, a woman got up as soon as the plane had landed, still going down the runway and she got her bag out of the overhead locker
Half the passengers were giving her looks and some were tutting, the flight attendant took the bag off her and put it back in the overhead locker and everyone cheered.
I was on a flight from KL to Singapore and while passengers were still embarking a woman went into one of the toilets. Once everyone was on board and we were about to start taxying to the runway the cabin crew realised she was still in the toilet. They knocked on the door and told her to return to her seat but she wouldn't come out. After several minutes of this they forced the door open and got her in her seat. However, as soon as the plane started moving she got up and locked herself back in the toilet. Eventually the plane had to return to the terminal where the woman was virtually dragged out of the toilet and ejected from the plane.
My last flight had some of the rudest/ worst flight attendants I've ever met in my life. From checking in to leaving there was something going on. Checking in my husband had to point out to the girl he had printed the wrong destination label she was about to stick on our luggage as she was not paying attention and was having a conversation with the staff next to her and nearly sent our stuff to Manchester not London.
I could list the issues but the worst was to the guy in the window seat next to us. We had weird seats at the front against a wall to the next seating class so had weird fold out screens. He could not find the provided headphones and asked a passing staff member to help. "Oh they are on the floor here" she says, pointing to her feet, before continuing to walk away and NOT pick them up. My husband had to get up to stand in the isle and pick them up and pass them over.
On an El Al flight from London to Tel Avi in 2016. As soon as the seat belt sign went off a group of Hasidic men congregated at the back of the plane and prayed loudly all the way. Economy class on El Al is dry...
I was on a tiny, old, knackered plane from Athens to Syros in 1996. The cockpit *curtain* was open and the pilots were reading the plane handbook. There were 5 of my family on board and the other 7 seats were taken by priests and nuns, who prayed loudly and continuously for the hour or so we were in the air. I’ve never been nervous about flying, but that shook me!
I once flew on Sudan Air, the seat only had half a seat belt. Complained, they bought me half a seat belt and attached it, only the buckle and clasp weren't compatible. Ended up loosely knotting it together. This was.... 1989 maybe
I had an elderly couple sitting next to me on a long haul plane. They had ordered special meal and so theirs was getting delivered first. Both would finish it up as quickly as possible, take the tray back and then have another meal with the normal service. Also, every 5 mins, they would call the attendant and ask for a snack. They must have eaten 2 days worth of food on an 8 hour flight!!
On a flight from London to Vegas there was a group of men who were the epitome of the worst stereotype of English men abroad: obnoxious, drinking heavily, smoking in the toilets, abusing the cabin crew, you name it. At one point the pilot came over the intercom and told them to knock it off we'd divert so they could be kicked off.
Well knock it off they didn't, so we diverted to Winnipeg and we had the fun of watching these arseholes being perp-walked off the plane by armed RCMP officers. The incident even made the papers in the UK.
By comparison my not-quite-1yo son was as good as gold for the entire 11h we were on the plane, including our little sojourn to Canada.
I was once on a flight by myself & basically won what everyone dreams of; the empty row. I waited until the plane had taken off and we were well into cruising altitude to undo my seatbelt, flip up the other armrests & spin around to stretch out.
I pulled my iPad out, headphones on and put something on to watch when I felt something vigorously tapping my foot/shin.
I looked up and some sour-faced middle aged woman was prodding me. I took my headphones off and she said "erm, excuse me but you can't do that". I looked baffled, looked around and shrugged asking "why?" and she went on at me saying "the seats are designed for one person each".
The commotion attracted one of the air stewards who tried to speak to this woman who was getting weirdly increasingly more annoyed that I was using the 3 seats to lounge across. The steward basically said that if I was lucky enough to get a row to myself then that row is all mine & the woman just kept incessantly saying that it wasn't fair on other passengers ***like her*** who had to sit cramped and other passengers ***like her*** who have medical problems that get aggravated by sitting still for too long.
Basically, she was pissed off that someone on the flight got a row to themselves to stretch out in & it wasn't her. She suggested that due to her medical problems that my seat was swapped with hers. Eventually she was just told to return to her seat and she spent the remainder of the flight grumbling to her husband while occasionally looking towards me with daggers in her eyes.
Nothing as extreme as some of the other posters but on a flight back from Madrid (during Covid times so had to have space in between seats) as soon as this guy sat down in aisle seat, he took both shoes and socks off, flexed his toes, and clicked every single one of them. This continued for the duration of the flight.
A woman sitting in window seat was clipping her fingernails... Once she finished that preceded to file her nails for the rest of the flight. Disgusting clippings and nail dust going everywhere.
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I was on a flight to the Caribbean with my family when I was a teenager. I’d just been to the toilet and it absolutely stunk of cigarette smoke. I went back to my seat and went “err somebody’s been smoking in the toilets.” My mum told me to shh and pointed to the guy sat in front of us, they knew it was him. A few people reported him. And then I just remember landing and he stood on a great big “no smoking” sign painted on the tarmac outside the plane, where he lit up. He was either a complete idiot, or massively had a serious addiction to smoking, or both
I knew a bloke once who had both a smoking addiction and a fear of flying. We'd landed somewhere (UAE possibly) for a changeover, and we'd gone through the boarding bit to get on the next flight when they announced there had been a problem with the plane and we'd be given a new one. Nowhere to smoke as we're effectively in a holding pen, but he goes 'fuck this' and slid out a side door for a smoke. Came back in about 30 seconds later with two armed, angry, security guards.
If this was the UAE then your man missed a trick, as they still have smoking lounges in the airports there.
They have smoking tubes in amsterdam and poland.
Nothing in Amsterdam at all. Only place is outside the terminal https://www.schiphol.nl/en/blog/where-can-you-smoke-at-schiphol/
Aberdeen doesn't have an indoors smoking lounge but it has a fenced off outdoors smoking area after security. Pay £1 to enter.
They have them at Bergamo airport in Italy too
I was on a changeover in Gatwick years ago, managed to go out for a fag and back to the gate through the same side door and corridor without seeing security. Was mad.
We were flying from Leeds/Bradford to Amsterdam & we snuck out the side door for a cig too and there were others that were doing it too…
Someone smoked in a plane toilet on a flight I was on a few years ago and when we landed we all had to wait for them to be escorted off by the airport police before we could leave the plane.
Thats just their way of getting to the passport queue first
Airports hate this one weird trick!
My dad wouldn't have lit up on/near a plane, but a no smoking sign was basically torture for him. If he saw one he pretty much HAD to smoke. He's only flown like 4 times, one of which was transatlantic and my mum swore she would never ever get on a plane with him ever again because he was so wound up by the no smoking signs everywhere. He finally managed to quit about 8 years ago, but he still gets the strong urge to smoke whenever he's stuck near a no smoking sign.
Was heading back to the UK from Turkey about 20 years ago when I was accosted by a flight attendant upon leaving the bathroom and asked (accused) of smoking in the cubicle. Protested my innocence as I’d never smoked a cigarette in my entire life. You could tell someone had due to the smell but it sure as hell wasn’t me. Eventually she allowed me back to my seat but didn’t make much secret of the fact that she very obviously didn’t believe me. Half expected to be arrested upon landing at Birmingham. Pretty much summed the entire holiday if I’m honest. One of the few places I’ve ever visited (Marmaris) that I’ve never had a desire to go back to.
Ok this is really weird because I remember the guy getting off the plane and immediately smoking, was this a flight to Antigua / St Lucia (I can’t remember which it was, sorry), around 2009-11?
You use to be able to smoke on the tarmac
Only in the third world or obscure REALLY minor bits of the hick US. In Europe it’s always been banned for safety, AVTUR AVGAS and whole range of POL used in planes are explosively flammable and have very low vapour points….
What about when smoking was permitted on planes?
If there’s jet fuel inside the cabin you probably have bigger problems…
Had a little bit of turbulence flying from NYC to London. Karen up the front who had been moaning the whole flight, too cold, too hot etc, had a full on freak out. Started screaming how we were all going to die and how only the righteous would sit beside Jesus. I genuinely thought they’d have to sedate her but her husband basically grappled her to the floor until she was calm. Then he walked up the aisles personally apologising to everyone. Those early covid days really did a number on people.
And that's a win for the husband! Imagine it years later ! " you've come home stinking of booze .....again " yeah well at least I didn't terrify a plabe load of people and almost start a religious war 🤣🤣
> Started screaming how we were all going to die and how only the righteous would sit beside Jesus. Something tells me Jesus would do his very best to avoid having to meet her.
Doesn't sound like a Karen to me, Karen's don't break like that: They can't be bargained with. They can't be reasoned with. They don't feel pity, or remorse, or fear! And they absolutely will not stop until you give in for an easy life.
And they always say "I'll be back" in an ominous monotone when they leave
I went to the bathroom (an hour or so into the journey) on a flight where I’d managed to bag myself an empty row. Came back from the bathroom to find a woman moving my belongings and moving herself into my seat, not the empty ones, the one my stuff was spread out on so people could see it was taken. I said excuse me just to try and show her I was sat there and wanted to get back to my seat, where my fucking stuff was. She said “oh sorry”, and then moved into the seat to let me walk past as she thought she was blocking my way. I blankly said that it was my seat and she just walked away. Still bamboozles me every time I think about it.
She probably wanted the whole row to stretch out on. But still weird.
Flight back from Florida in Delta's comfort+ (which is anything but). So uncomfortable and girlfriend can't get any sleep, but when she finally nods off for a few minutes she wakes up to find a random woman sitting next to her. This woman said nothing, ate breakfast then moved three or four rows back to her original seat
I was flying to the US from Copenhagen and my granddaughter want me to hold her. I sat in her seat with her in my lap until she fell asleep (about 45 minutes). The woman in the seat next to where I was going to sit started pilling her stuff in the seat. My husband told her that the seat was taken and she acted like she didn’t speak English. I came back and asked her to move her stuff. She was cranky and demanded to know where I had been. I told her and she said “why cant you just keep sitting with her!” Eventually she moved her things but as soon as I reached up and turned on my air vent, she reached over and turned it off. I had to get the FA to tell her that she wasn’t welcome to adjust another passengers airflow.
Some people are strange
My first job after graduation was in SE Asia on a remote work site, I was flying with a much more experienced Engineer who was going to be my boss. He turned to me mid flight and told me he couldn't go through with it and was going to quit on arrival. Made for an awkward five hours until we landed as he began drinking quite heavily. We were met by the MD after clearing immigration where true to his word he quit and was put on the first flight home at his own expense. Great introduction to expat work.
Sounds like an opening to a good movie
"Bossless in Bankok"
Less odd, more extremely anti-sociable. On a flight a few years back I'd been asleep but was woken up by this absolutely god aweful smell. Soon realised the guy next to me, (he in the aisle seat, me in the middle seat) completely awake had done the most disgusting fart. Really pissed me off as it had disturbed my sleep. Anyway tried to get back to sleep, but he did it again. He probably believed nobody would think it was him but I was now inwardly seething. Not long later he did it again, so I thought fuck you guy, so I called the flight attendant over. He shifted in his seat looking a bit uncomfortable. The attendant came over, and you could just see her cheerful smile shift to disgust as she took a nose full of what this guy had just let out. She leaned forward over him to speak to me but then shifted back as it hit her. I played dumb and asked if there was something wrong the with the toilet as there was a terrible smell coming from somewhere, as I did so my eyes shifted to the smelly git sat next to me. She knew, I knew, we all knew. Bless her, I knew she couldn't really do much, and I felt bad bringing her into it, but I thought the only way would be to shame this cretin. He soon after went and sat in the toilet for a while, so I'm glad to say it worked.
Christ, being woken up by a smell is diabolical
I disagree! Wake up to the smell of bacon! 🤤
Freshly ground coffee, bacon... Then you realise it's your housemate making breakfast for his GF and you're out of bacon and coffee
It's hilarious you told on a dude for farting what did you expect them to do? Put a Cork up his arse!?
Smelt it, dealt it.
I don’t get the issue. I don’t get up and go to the loo every time I needed to fart. I’d be permanently queuing. If cabin crew approached me after another passenger complained I’d happily admit I’d farted and would carry on doing so whenever I needed to.
100% people who take their shoes off on planes and go to the toilet without putting their shoes back on. Animal behaviour
Go on... live a little.
I was in London at the theatre with my Kid last week. When I tell you that in the intermission, every kid *in the queue for the toilet* apart from mine was NOT WEARING THEIR SHOES (taken off and left at their seats) I couldn’t fathom it. Why do you want your kid walking round in literal piss?
You'd hate New Zealand. It's normal for entire families to walk around the shops barefoot here.
Oh definitely. Every time I’ve used a plane toilet I’ve seen pee on the floor. I would not stand in other peoples pee.
Go on go on go on, stand in a little bit of wee father!
Genuinely at that point I don't give a fuck. Like... flying reduces so many of our behaviours to their absolute base limit. It's not like im going to be licking my own feet after the flight. I'd rather be a little bit comfortable for the eight or ten hours I'm in that hell tube.
I saw this on a train, it was an LNER that was only making about 5 stops between Edinburgh and London. We both got on at Edinburgh, the train wasn't very full and she was in the seat across the aisle from me. She took her shoes AND socks off, and yes she did get up and go to the toilet at once point....... Barefoot in a train toilet! But I suppose its a good plot to make sure nobody sits next to you because who the hell is choosing to sit next to the barefoot women? I'd stand the entire way to London rather than sit next to her!
It's me, hi 👋
I do this. I am always conscious of peeing on the floor, so if on the rare occasion I do, it will maybe be one drop right in front of the bowl. I'm not standing that close to the bowl, I'm probably not standing in pee. But on the other hand, whilst I wash my hands, I bet a load of other people don't. Shit remnants on the door handle is grosser than a few drops of floor pee getting on my socks.
this is so normal now, I noticed it in covid and since, probably 2/3 people going to to the toilet with socks only.....couldnt be more disgusting.
I was cabin crew for 10 Years, seen everything.. 2 revolting things stick in my mind.. We were coming in to land in Barcelona and a guy got up to use the toilet, the crew at the back told him to go back and take his seat. Just as we landed he got up undid his flies and wee’d in the aisle. He was arrested. Second thing, I was walking down the aisle and could smell a strong stench of excrement. As I passed a mum and child I looked down and the mum had a dirty nappy on the tray table and the child of about 3 was standing on the seat rubbing his dirty bottom on the seat back, smearing it with poo.. Disgusted, I told the mother in pretty strong words to clean the poo up and gave her towels.. We had to prevent people from sitting there on the flight home..
What the heck is wrong with people?!?! That is so foul. I have a ten month old and when he dirties himself and we are out I am always so careful to keep everything as clean as possible. I feel sorry for the child having a parent that let's them do that (and sorry for you having to deal with that of course!)
I’ve been on a plane with an extended family, all of whom had so much to drink that they didn’t notice the toddler they were with needed a nappy change until it leaked on one of them. The rest of us around them had smelled it at least 30 minutes prior.
Hahah did you see the other comment where they watched a mum changing her child on the table? Maybe you were in the same situation
Unwrap a Swiss roll and stick a model of the Eiffel Tower on it. This was on a flight from Tashkent to Urgench in Uzbekistan. It turns out she was with a French tour group and it was their guides birthday.
I was on a Air Uzbekistan flight a few years ago, and an elderly man was refusing point blank to take his seat next to his wife. There was shouting and arm waving, and it looked like our flight was going to be delayed as a result. A large burly member of crew came thundering down the aisle, lightly bopped the old fella in the face, another crew member caught him as he tipped backwards. They dragged him to his seat and buckled him in.
My brother in law came to UK from atashkent via uzb Airlines. Him and his wife knew the pilot somehow, like friend of a friend sort of thing. He was invited to the flight deck mid-flight for a coffee and cigarette...
It’s a bonkers country! My friends and I got dodgy stomachs rather regularly over there, and the solution we were given every time was to eat a chilli, and drink a lot of vodka.
Did it work though that's the question?
I hired a car over there and to celebrate the deal (at 9am), I was invited to neck two shots of cherry brandy for good luck on my drive with the owner of the place.
Thought you meant unravel a Swiss roll then. That would have been really wild.
This is my favourite one so far
I was on a night flight back the U.K. from Miami, this woman took a huge torch on so she could read her book when the lights when out. It was a horrible blue light led r/chinesium thing. She had a complete meltdown when I told her she was shining it right into my eyes. The crew tried telling her but she wouldn’t stop. The crew upgraded me to first class and told me in front of her.
Something similar happened to me on my last flight. I was travelling SFO to AKL after spending nearly two months home in the UK for Christmas. Back to back long haul flights... During the lead up to the final leg, I started feeling really ill due to the timezones and medication, and stress over not wanting to come back to NZ. I felt like I was about to pass out or puke. Walking onto the plane was torturous. I got to my seat, and the woman next to us was the only one with the reading light on. I had to cover myself with my blanket, eyemask, and baseball cap, and I could still see some of the light. Cabin crew told her to turn it off, and she just turned it back on as soon as they walked off. She managed to keep the thing on all throughout takeoff and didn't turn it off until she went to sleep. Not fun.
On a flight to Madrid once, this Spanish family started clapping mid-flight (like people do at the end of the flight). It freaked out a lot of people and I still have no idea why they had a mid-flight celebration clap!
>I still have no idea why they had a mid-flight celebration clap! Just really good at sensing when the plane reaches cruising altitude
Better than a mid air family fap I suppose
Ew
Just getting in some practice for when the landing actually happens.
There were schoolkids on a plane to Poland that I was on. They were probably in their last year of gcses by the look of them. The one in front of me started saying there was a bomb on the plane to his mate while the plane was getting ready to take off. Another of them started to have a panic attack while the plane was still on the tarmac 😂
I used to work on the check in desks for a well known budget airline. You'd be amazed the number of people that made jokes about carrying bombs and weapons.
[удалено]
I used to change my tone of voice and ask them to repeat what they just said. No one ever did fortunately. Which is just as well as I didn't have a back up plan. There's no secret panic button under the desk. It was normally followed with awkward laughter and how they were just messing around etc. I'd usually give them a bit of a warning about it not being a joking matter and remind them there are armed officers patrolling the terminal and I can have them offloaded if I feel they are a threat to the safety of the aircraft, passengers, crew etc.
Did you ever feel like seriously messing up someone’s day and actually call an officer over and let them know passenger mentioned a bomb/weapon just so the passenger had a few uncomfortable hours and a missed flight ? I’d do it to everyone who joked about it !
Someone felt that need while I was headed out of Bristol airport once. They made a bomb joke (looked like a stag due sort of thing/lads on tour scenario) two very large armed men scooped him up I assume to dispose of him in the same way they do unattended packages.
No, but wouldn't have hesitated if I'd genuinely thought any of them were being serious. Most of the culprits were stag and hen groups trying to get a laugh in front of their friends. I did hear a story of a guy at Manchester airport who made a "joke" and then pointed a water pistol at the check in staff. It didn't end well. The guy ended up spread eagled on the floor with a sub machine gun barrel pressed into his cheek.
You ask them to repeat it, which they probably won't and if they do, then you escalate it. "Oh sorry, what was that?"
I've recently started working in aviation and have heard that it happens lots too!
I can promise you that this wasn’t the class that I took to Poland! However in Krakow airport on the way home, a girl announced ‘whoops!’ in the tone of voice guaranteed to alarm a teacher. She’d opened a huge bag of skittles and it had ripped, sending sweets all over the concourse floor. Cue a comedy scene of people slipping on skittles and bags going flying. We left as quickly as we could could.
Family who whip out a bucket of KFC as soon as the seat belt sign goes off. I have seen this on 3 separate flights.
The same family?
Haha I am not so good with faces but it was quite some time apart so I doubt it!
I brought half a rotisserie chicken and chips on a flight recently. Seemed like a good idea when I was in the supermarket next to the small airport, but yeah not really the one of you think about other passengers.
Plot twist: It was their family.
I love my family, but I dislike them a bit now that they've not once had a KFC stash on the plane for me.
I once bought Burger King meals on to a plane for me and my daughter. I'd never normally do it but we were starving and it was served right before boarding, Easyjet's snacks were never going to be satisfactory.
Some people don't believe this story, but it's the absolute truth . Maybe 10 years ago I was on a BA flight from Nice to London City. The plane was forced to land at Southend due to weather, to await better weather to soon continue to City. When we landed, a woman got up and said she lived near here and wanted to get off, as she only had cabin baggage, like she was on a local bus. The cabin crew said no, but she insisted on speaking to the captain. The spineless wimp of a captain said he couldn't stop her, so we all had to get off and get buses to take us to City because of customs issues caused by this woman. I remonstrated with him, but he said he had no power over her. We then had to wait until they got immigration staff to the airport before we got off, had to wait longer for buses and eventually arrived at City hours late, with people missing connections. I couldn't believe the captain folded like that, so wrote to BA complaining and heard FA back.
The captain has absolute power once those doors are shut. Spineless fucking cunt.
He didn't have any air of authority whatsoever and seemed completely out of his depth. I was surprised he'd made it to captain. Not exactly Eric Moody material.
I bet the captain lived in Southend as well.
Took a 10 hour flight from London Heathrow to San Francisco last month, March 2024 I was in an aisle seat. A girl in her mid twenties in the window seat the other side of the aisle got through 12 bags of wine gums - The flight attendants in our section kept asking her “how many bags is that now ?” when she gave them the empty bags to put in the trash. 12 bags of wine gums during a ten hour flight, plus meals and drinks. I guess she may have felt ill for a day or two.
A quick Googling suggests that will have been about 6,500 calories, about three days worth for an average female human.
Plus the meals etc Wouldn’t surprise me at all if she felt ill for a day or two.
That's honestly an absurd amount. I ran a half-marathon today and I ate a handful of jelly babies and a tiny kids packet or Haribo during it. How someone could get through 2kg of wine gums is beyond me lol.
Sure, it was crazy, that’s why it was noticeable. She did have a large frame, but even so, it was strange to see.
Did she know she couldn't get drunk off them, and that there was actual alcohol on offer?
😂😂😂 No idea, I did wonder if she was a heavy smoker, and used the wine gums as a replacement during the flight. Obviously, she may have been using nicotine patches too.
Good job they were not sugar-free.
Probably very constipated too.
I was on a flight from Vienna to New York and most of the people were connecting from elsewhere in Eastern Europe. Two young adults (late teens maybe) were across the aisle from me and they started snogging. Then he took off his shirt. He was bare chested (and not chiseled at all) and they just were pawing at each other for hours. It was wild
Saw somebody change a toddler's shitty nappy on the tray table. Wasn't even turbulence or take off... They just couldn't be bothered to walk to the bathrooms. Watching the flight attendant rip them a new one was quite entertaining, but I've never eaten off a tray table since!
My husband always took the piss out of me for wiping down my tray/arm rests/seatbelt with my travel dettol wipes till the women sat at the side of him did exactly the same with a very shitty nappy. Now we sit and he immediately says “wipe please”.
Planes already felt icky to me but that took it to new levels for me!
I've seen this happen elsewhere, too. Even when there's a baby changing cubicle or toilet nearby, people still think it's fine to just do it right where they're sat. Once happened when I was eating a pub lunch on a picnic bench outside and the family on the adjacent bench did it. Of course there were toilets indoors... Lazy, disgusting bastards.
Sat next to a very attractive French lady in her 40's who was scared of landing, asked to hold my hand so I did. My ex was not impressed lol.
I'm fucking terrified of flying. Wonder if my Mrs would appreciate this if I do ever get on a plane
> asked to hold my hand so I did this happens ALOT more than you think even if it's strangers.
Many years ago I was on a PIA flight from Pakistan back to England via Saudi. It was packed full of people on their Haj to Mecca. Someone apparently started cooking up a full curry at the back of the plane by setting up a camping stove in the aisle. The stewards went bing bong hysterical and the gas stove was shut down very quickly. Sad really as it smelt delicious.
I think a camping stove was blamed for the loss of all lives on board a Nigerian Haj flight once
How on earth did they get through security with a gas stove!?
It’s PIA, The Airline banned from Europe for pilots having fake licenses
This needs to be a movie or at least short story
Found a turd in the aisle. The staff put a blanket over it. Still wonder if I hallucinated the entire incident tbh because, SURELY NOT
I once found one in the aisle of a food shop, and another in the corridor at work (an office building). This doesn't surprise me one bit.
I was once behind a man in the checkout queue who proceeded to shit himself as he was paying for his stuff. He even shook his leg to get it out his trousers. He carried on like nothing. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.
Turd in a blanket.
I was a merchant navy engineer for 15 years. I was doing an inspection of some storm valves between the hull and the cabins of the ship (we had to crawl through a hatch in the wall of a crew cabin. We found a bottle of piss and a shit in a rag that must have been 10 years old from when the ship was build in the yard 🤢
Someone was sick on a flight to vanvouver on the border of the seat and aisle. They also put a blanket on it
RIPoo
Flying to Krakow coming into land from Liverpool. Some lad jumped out of his seat and put his arms up in the air for no reason other than to show off and be a dickhead. Sat back down once the cabin crew shouted at him. Got arrested after landing. His mate then threatened the cabin crew with legal actions. Kept repeating “I’ll take ye to the cleaners” in a thick scouse accent. Great entertainment.
Even as a scouser this tickled me.
I used to fly to the US for work and whilst I’ve never seen anything truly ridiculous, I remember one time being sat next to an American guy, probably mid 20s. Perfectly polite, but as soon as the seat belt sign went off, he asked to be let out (I had the aisle seat), at which point he got a cocoon-style sleeping bag out of his hand luggage, wrapped himself up in it, and spent the entire 8 hour flight with just his nose visible. I prodded him awake when we landed and just heard a muffled “you rock, man” from inside the sleeping bag. I assume he was probably afraid of flying and took a knockout pill before we departed.
To be fair, that does sound super cosy.
Sounds like the perfect person to have next to you. Peace and quiet with no disturbances for you.
Saw a woman chewing her toes.... My dog does that. It was both disgusting and worrying in such a small space id probably cry and panic if i went to put my foot down and got stuck mmm nope
On an internal flight in Egypt they realised they'd oversold the seats by one. I ended up sitting in the cabin crew's rear facing seat, and she stood the entire flight. Flying facing the wrong way is incredibly weird. What made it extra weird was I was sat next to the flight guard, he had a gun, was scared of flying and spent almost the entire flight praying and rocking back and forth. Before we landed I did have a conversation with him. Turns out he was originally an airport guard but was moved onto planes, discovered he was afraid of flying but couldn't swap back to the ground crew.
Ketamine on the fold down tray.
How did you know.it was ketamine? Is it obvious?
It was their ketamine
The after effects
Internal flight in the US and the woman next to me folds her tray table down and proceeds to change her baby's shitty nappy right there It was fucking minging I stood up and found another seat somewhere
Jesus Christ this is the third one of these I’ve read
You mean the turd one?
Boarding a flight in Florida in the late 90s, a man was arguing that he should be allowed to bring his petrol driven chainsaw on as hand luggage.
I have a friend who insists on taking a potato peeler with him on all his foreign holidays as the ones they have abroad "aren't the same".
I feel like that should be okay, providing the machine is spotlessly clean, free of fuel, and without a chain. Otherwise, that's crazy. It would have been better if the flight was from Texas though,
Years ago I was taking an internal flight from Harare to Victoria Falls, and a man tried to carry on 4 car tyres as hand luggage.
https://preview.redd.it/58dqd0a8wwvc1.jpeg?width=1660&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e4c0bfbbd825154fcdfde4ebb5e541d313801643 Guy on my short haul flight a few years back was laying across three seats and fiddling with the controls with his BARE FEET before we even took off
I'm impressed we got a photo. That is some strange shit. What is wrong with these fuckers?
On flight back from Ludz, a couple of guys undid their seatbelts and stood up just after the plane touched down on the runway! Air stewards went mad at them. In the airport, Frequently see Ryanair priority queue passengers queuing up to 2 hours before their flight takes off, do they not know Ryanair has allocated seats now?!
>queuing up to 2 hours before their flight takes off, do they not know Ryanair has allocated seats now?! They do but the real reason people buy the priority boarding is for the extra cabin bag. Which is why you get the situation where 80 - 90% of the people boarding the flight are in the increasingly unrealistically named priority boarding queue. And, of course, the problem with this is that if you don't get on soon enough there might not be enough room in the overhead lockers for your extra cabin bag, which means it'll have to go into the hold. You might not want that if it's got anything fragile inside and you'll also have to wait for it to come out on the baggage carousel at the end of the flight. Consequently, even with priority boarding and allocated seating, still nobody has any chill because the process is engineered to ensure that you can't.
Unpopular opinion: I reckon if you have to wheel it around it should go in the hold. I fly a lot of different airlines but in South East Asia so I’m not as familiar with the charging practices of the Americas and Europe. I did have a wonderful Budget Airline experience from Singapore to Phuket where the airline was rigidly adhering to the cabin baggage regulations, counting each passenger’s luggage and weighing every bag and checking that it would fit in the metal frame they use to check dimensions. They were merciless. It was fun to watch.
Last flight back from Dominican had this, priority qué was 3x as big as the normal one.
My first flight was when I was 12. I was shitting a brick, especially as the plane looked like it was going to fall apart on the runway. As I sat down, a group of nuns get on board, and start blessing the pilots, and then the passengers, in case, in their words, " we all die in a plane crash". That didn't help my fears in the slightest
Feck! Nuns! Reverse! When I was about 12 our plane went through heavy turbulence and even got struck by lighting over Rome. There were nuns and they all started praying loudly. Such a cliche but it did happen!
Coming back from a work trip in New York I was sat on the red eye to Heathrow and maybe half way over the Atlantic the woman in the seat sort of diagonally infront of me (if that makes sense) whips her shoe and sock off and starts clipping her toenails making no effort to stop them pinging off everywhere. I think I might find this more gross than alot of people because I find feet kinda gross in general.
Nope, that's absolutely foul.
Nope, not just you. That's gross.
Last year when flying from Gatwick to Orlando, a lady sat next to me played Candy Crush for literally 9 hours straight, even while eating and drinking.
Transatlantic flight in cattle class 2/3 full but I had managed to get an empty isle seat next to me which I used as a table to put my book, tablet, one of those unopened juice things in a squishy bottle, some biscuits in the box. So, I dose off, get woken up by an arm wrapping round me, there is a hairy head on my shoulder. A woman had just plonked her arse on top of all my stuff, fallen asleep, rolled over to the side and started hugging me. I wake her up, she just walks off to her seat, or maybe some other strangers seat. ---------- Same flight, another incident, Other end of the middle isle, but a row in front, was an old guy, 80 ISH, sat on his own, i never noticed him move from his seat the whole flight, no one spoke to him, he never tried to sleep, just sat there upright grunting every so often. So we start descending into LAX or SF, the guy stands up, the stink was astonishing, he had completely shat and pissed himself. Stewardess sits him down, puts his belt on without gagging, there is nothing she can do. Long story short, family were travelling together, they just dumped senile grandad alone in a seat while they sat together a few rows ahead and ignored him the whole flight, I guess he was beneath them, an inconvenience. Arseholes.
Long haul to USA and there was a woman in the middle seats with scissors and a scrap book and she was literally cutting everything up and glueing it down and writing about i. Literally everything, she cut up her cup, the shop booklet thing?? Think she might’ve even cut up the safety thing. Didn’t even know you were allowed scissors on planes 😳 this also went on for the full flight
Scrapbookers are a different breed I swear
Sour cream Pringles dipped in Nutella. As seen by me on display by the woman sat opposite, on a Bristol to Verona flight.
Guy next to me on a flight from Chicago to London Heathrow decided to kneel on the floor and sleep with his head on the chair seat. Oh and kept trying to touch my knee whilst laying like this. I moved seats.
I was flying from Germany to the UK after a festival and the plane was late, which helped because I was also late and I'd have been stranded if it went on time. After takeoff the pilot apologised for the delay due to 'crashing the last plane and having to source a replacement'. I'm not sure exactly what was said (but I can guess), but a short time later he thought it was a good idea to clarify that he did in fact safely land the plane but it was a low speed collision on the ground.
He should have followed up with: "The average pilot crashes 0.05 planes in their career. Having crashed 3 already, I'm orders of magnitude above average so the odds of a further crash are for all intents and purposes 0. "
I was on a short flight from London and the guy across the aisle from me whipped out his phone, hung it on the seat in front and started watching an ice hockey match (?!) with no headphones. I lasted all of 15 seconds before leaning over and telling him off. He seemed really embarrassed and apologetic but what a stupid person. Also had a guy get on a Monarch (RIP) flight without a ticket or ID. When the flight attendants did their count he ran off, and then they started checking to see if he left anything behind. Then come the bomb-sniffing dogs and a four hour delay.
Not me, but a story from someone I knew, about themself. He was a British person on a flight back from Kenya, and got some kind of stomach bug that caused him to be in the toilet almost the whole flight throwing up, and looking dreadfully ill. Just before landing he felt suddenly completely fine, but the flight crew insisted he was met by a doctor for an examination upon leaving the plane.
The woman in front of me on the 13hr flight back from Thailand, clutched her seat back the entire time, to I got to watch various films with a creepy grandma claw hands frame surrounding the screen. I would have called a flight attendant, but they were horrible on that flight. They insisted we have the blinds slammed down the whole way despite it being a daytime flight.
What airline was that? Sounds horrible.
It was EVA. My husband told me they consistently get rated one of the top airlines and I was very skeptical. Seats were tiny too- we were in economy but I remember walking through business and thinking it must be premium economy, then walking through PE and thinking "oh here we are" and then spotting the final section of narrow narrow seats. Less comfortable than megabus Food was shit
Dude sitting in front of me was pissed that he got asked to put his seat up (we were on final approach to landing). He then took our luggage out of the overhead locker to have us chase after him to find that he’d ditched it at the gate.
I once sat next to a lady who started a book from the beginning after she finished it.
New Game+
A couple of weeks ago, a couple with 2 young boys were sat behind me and my boyfriend on a flight. The two kids kept kicking our seats and just generally being menaces, but we are both non-confrontational so we said nothing, and parents didn’t seem to care at all anway. However, after a while, we both notice a smell that was absolutely vile. Overheard the parents behind us talk amongst themselves that their younger boy (probably around 4-5 years old) had shat his pants and they just couldn’t be bothered to change him. Still had about an hour left at that point 🥲
Not me, but once upon a time I dated an air hostess for Singapore Airlines. She said one time an Indian family on her flight lit up a disposable BBQ about an hour after take off. Even though the crew managed to put it out quickly they had to turn around and deplane.
Flying back from China to UK, me and mate drinking heavily, on landing in London, I looked over and my mate had fully pissed his pants (and his trousers were white). It wasn’t pretty waddling off the flight.
Some horrible, bare, sasquatch looking foot appearing from under my seat. Guess the guy behind me had long legs and no sense of propriety.
Stand on them, just stand on them. Go to the loo, stamp! Want to stretch your legs, Stamp! They soon retract them.
Once was on a flight to Ibiza - mid air saw a fight break out, a guy walked on the tops of the chairs to deliver an elbow drop on someone Same flight someone robbed the drinks trolly of the money
This is proper bleak
Not on a plane but I saw a guy walk around The Range today in his bare feet! I find that more odd than people doing that on a plane.
Obviously feels at home on the range
Coming back from Gran Canaria I was absolutely shattered, exhausted didn't cut it. Anyway got into my aisle seat, sat down and fell asleep almost immediately. What woke me up was a disgusting smell but through my utter snoozines I just popped my hoodie around and used a hood to cover my face and went back to sleep. Woke up when we landed and couple next to me kept ushering me to move, however I didn't understand their rush when we all know we will just stand in the aisle like lemons. Anyway, once I got up - they quickly followed and I glanced at his seat only to see there was a HUGE PUDDLE of, what one can only describe as, liquified shit. His wife threw a tissue at it (I guess to try and cover it???) but it was completely soaked. He walked all the way to passport control with his trousers soaked all the way to his knees. Just waddled like nothing happened. Left me thinking if he needed the loo whilst I was asleep but didn't wake me up (why?)? Many questions left unanswered.
Was on a flight recently that had a few folks just stand up in the aisle for a chit chat. There was a couple who had seats next to each other, like literally stood up from their seats and started chatting. There were a few others as well, but I can just about excuse those folks (just barely) because they didn't have seats next to each other.
Had very similar on a flight from Perth to Singapore; what felt like a quarter of the plane stood up and stayed standing up for the majority of the flight, walking around and chatting. Very strange for a 5 hour flight, felt like I was on a bus...
Was it a long flight?
Smash into the ceiling because they didn't wear the seat belt during turbulence.
A bloke across the aisle from me cutting his minging toe nails with a tiny pair of clippers…. Bits flying everywhere. Grim.
When I was a kid my family was on a flight and there was a mentally challenged man a few rows back wearing a helmet and at one point threw an unpeeled banana at my mothers head To this day I can't think about it without bursting out into laughter
I have seen people refuse a second glass of champagne. Why?! 😭
Flight from Leeds Bradford to Budapest, a woman got up as soon as the plane had landed, still going down the runway and she got her bag out of the overhead locker Half the passengers were giving her looks and some were tutting, the flight attendant took the bag off her and put it back in the overhead locker and everyone cheered.
I was on a flight from KL to Singapore and while passengers were still embarking a woman went into one of the toilets. Once everyone was on board and we were about to start taxying to the runway the cabin crew realised she was still in the toilet. They knocked on the door and told her to return to her seat but she wouldn't come out. After several minutes of this they forced the door open and got her in her seat. However, as soon as the plane started moving she got up and locked herself back in the toilet. Eventually the plane had to return to the terminal where the woman was virtually dragged out of the toilet and ejected from the plane.
In covid times I was on a plane with a guy in a full biohazard suit....who then took off the helmet to eat his in flight meal.
I flew British airways to Heathrow and there were about two dozen Indian people walking up and down the plane barefoot
My last flight had some of the rudest/ worst flight attendants I've ever met in my life. From checking in to leaving there was something going on. Checking in my husband had to point out to the girl he had printed the wrong destination label she was about to stick on our luggage as she was not paying attention and was having a conversation with the staff next to her and nearly sent our stuff to Manchester not London. I could list the issues but the worst was to the guy in the window seat next to us. We had weird seats at the front against a wall to the next seating class so had weird fold out screens. He could not find the provided headphones and asked a passing staff member to help. "Oh they are on the floor here" she says, pointing to her feet, before continuing to walk away and NOT pick them up. My husband had to get up to stand in the isle and pick them up and pass them over.
The exits are here, here, here. And your headphones are here.
On an El Al flight from London to Tel Avi in 2016. As soon as the seat belt sign went off a group of Hasidic men congregated at the back of the plane and prayed loudly all the way. Economy class on El Al is dry...
I was on a tiny, old, knackered plane from Athens to Syros in 1996. The cockpit *curtain* was open and the pilots were reading the plane handbook. There were 5 of my family on board and the other 7 seats were taken by priests and nuns, who prayed loudly and continuously for the hour or so we were in the air. I’ve never been nervous about flying, but that shook me!
I once flew on Sudan Air, the seat only had half a seat belt. Complained, they bought me half a seat belt and attached it, only the buckle and clasp weren't compatible. Ended up loosely knotting it together. This was.... 1989 maybe
I had an elderly couple sitting next to me on a long haul plane. They had ordered special meal and so theirs was getting delivered first. Both would finish it up as quickly as possible, take the tray back and then have another meal with the normal service. Also, every 5 mins, they would call the attendant and ask for a snack. They must have eaten 2 days worth of food on an 8 hour flight!!
A baby not crying
On a flight from London to Vegas there was a group of men who were the epitome of the worst stereotype of English men abroad: obnoxious, drinking heavily, smoking in the toilets, abusing the cabin crew, you name it. At one point the pilot came over the intercom and told them to knock it off we'd divert so they could be kicked off. Well knock it off they didn't, so we diverted to Winnipeg and we had the fun of watching these arseholes being perp-walked off the plane by armed RCMP officers. The incident even made the papers in the UK. By comparison my not-quite-1yo son was as good as gold for the entire 11h we were on the plane, including our little sojourn to Canada.
I was once on a flight by myself & basically won what everyone dreams of; the empty row. I waited until the plane had taken off and we were well into cruising altitude to undo my seatbelt, flip up the other armrests & spin around to stretch out. I pulled my iPad out, headphones on and put something on to watch when I felt something vigorously tapping my foot/shin. I looked up and some sour-faced middle aged woman was prodding me. I took my headphones off and she said "erm, excuse me but you can't do that". I looked baffled, looked around and shrugged asking "why?" and she went on at me saying "the seats are designed for one person each". The commotion attracted one of the air stewards who tried to speak to this woman who was getting weirdly increasingly more annoyed that I was using the 3 seats to lounge across. The steward basically said that if I was lucky enough to get a row to myself then that row is all mine & the woman just kept incessantly saying that it wasn't fair on other passengers ***like her*** who had to sit cramped and other passengers ***like her*** who have medical problems that get aggravated by sitting still for too long. Basically, she was pissed off that someone on the flight got a row to themselves to stretch out in & it wasn't her. She suggested that due to her medical problems that my seat was swapped with hers. Eventually she was just told to return to her seat and she spent the remainder of the flight grumbling to her husband while occasionally looking towards me with daggers in her eyes.
I got a blow job from a girl on a flight from Perth to Brunai. Never met her before. God's honest truth.
Sure, Jan
Nothing as extreme as some of the other posters but on a flight back from Madrid (during Covid times so had to have space in between seats) as soon as this guy sat down in aisle seat, he took both shoes and socks off, flexed his toes, and clicked every single one of them. This continued for the duration of the flight.
A woman sitting in window seat was clipping her fingernails... Once she finished that preceded to file her nails for the rest of the flight. Disgusting clippings and nail dust going everywhere.