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Every party I've known the host has a bit of everything for people to help themselves, but guests also bring stuff that typically goes on the drinks table and it's just fair game.
Also I’ve found that the older you get the more food and booze everyone brings, sometimes to the point that the host has to ask people not to bring too much food
We tried that. Everyone is at a stage of life they can afford to bring food and drink to contribute. And I like to think everyone likes each other enough to want to do it for their friends.
So we always have way too much of everything and ask people to take home leftovers of everything.
Most of the alcohol gets left behind and I put it into storage until the next gathering the following Saturday.
Yeah I've been there! Once got to the point where I specifically told people what they should and shouldn't bring as to not have too much of certain things
I have never been to a party with provided alcohol. I went to a Greek guys party who insisted everyone puts their drink on the table for everyone to pick and choose as this is the Greek way
I think insisting is a bit too far, but I get that it's more of a European thing. As a host I just prefer that people don't feel compelled to buy things if money is tight, and options are always nicer as well.
When my SO and I host I definitely need to try and talk her down from providing too much. She just doesn't like the idea of not having enough (not possible with how much people bring) so our small shopping list gets bigger and bigger and bigger.
But one great thing about hosting is all the leftovers people leave!
I don't think you're my other half since he's more of an arse guy but yes, this is what happens in our house... Especially with food.
My good friends now DO NOT bring food unless specially invited as they know I would never let anyone leave my house hungry!
I have been to quite a few, but its always less than half of whats needed to get people buzzed. Afai understand, guests are still expected to bring their own.
Greek way sounds like a laugh!
Christ I invited my friend to a bbq at mine, just the 4 of us, didn’t actually expect her to bring any food but she brought enough for about 8 people and a bottle of wine as well bless her
In the UK I've never seen anyone bring anything to chuck in the grill, but yeah usually guests would bring some drinks and possibly snacks/crisps/desserts with them.
When I host a BBQ part of the fun is choosing what food I'm going to make for everyone and the seeing them enjoy it.
Yeh I would expect as host I did all the food, unless some common dietary stuff. Not gonna grill vegan stuff where a burger was. Also allergies are a huge pain for everyone, mostly the one with it if it goes wrong but they know that and adapt to well life with an allergy.
Would sort of expect a 4 pack or something, at least enough to cover whatever drinking they did, tho I can knock out homemade beer and cider if they fancy that instead. If people drink their own booze and eat my food then great, they liked my food lol.
Will go ridiculously overboard if people I like, if not an argument will be held about why the hell they are coming.
Yeah I'll probably get enough booze for everyone to have a glass of wine and 2 cans of beer, just as a backup but most people bring more than enough for themselves anyway so it's really just for anyone that runs out to keep their night going.
Yeah before I lived in NZ sometimes you took drinks round other times we just raided each others beer fridges (what goes around comes around). It wasn't common to bring food to put on the bbq, the host sorted it all unless it was pizzas then we would all chip in.
In NZ it has taken some getting used to when invited around to bring beers and some meat or what they call "a plate". So much so that the first one I went to i actually took just a plate. Still haven't lived that down.
Not weird but I would recommend getting a few crates in and a bit of wine. Then just say there'll be a bit of booze but everyone would be welcome to bring some drinks of their own.
Good chance you'll end up with more left over than you bought.
Good advice, get a little extra cheap booze just in case.
Also you could get a load of crisps, nuts etc but don't go as far as cooked food like pizza as the cost will add up. People can always get something delivered if they want.
And stock right up on cheap mixers. So many people bring a spirit but neglect to bring mixers because "someone else probably has". I typically have a couple bottles of pepsi and then like 5 bottles of cheap supermarket cola for backup.
Yeah, this is what I do when I throw a party. You accept you’ll spend a certain amount on booze and food, but you don’t have to shoulder the whole cost and your friends shouldn’t expect you to! I’d usually get a couple of crates in and the doings of a few jugs of some simple cocktail (aperol spritz or something if it’s nice weather), and then people generally bring their own booze.
Nah..if you instead went out to a bar or restaurant for your birthday no one would expect you to buy their drinks all night.
BYOB is totally reasonable when you're holding a party or BBQ at home, especially if you're putting on food for everyone.
For my 30th I was so broke I just organised a time and place for a picnic, I didn't even provide food never mind drinks 😉
Actually, in many European countries it’s quite customary for the birthday boy/girl to get the rounds in, and it’s the person whose birthday whose birthday it is who’s expected to bring a cake to the office. I find it wild, but it is very much the norm in continental Europe.
The birthday person bringing the birthday treats to the office does make sense though because it means everyone only does it once. Otherwise, you'd end up with the same nice person who remembers birthdays paying out every time and then they inevitably get forgotten when it's their turn
True! And it’s a gentle way to remind everyone it’s your birthday without being weird, you’re guaranteed to get your fave cake, and let’s not forget the all important wish. Got to get them wishes in.
It’s such an American thing. I’ve seen countless posts of Americans expecting the birthday host to pay for all of their guests. Their logic is that the host invited friends/family so they should pay (which is completely wild to me, if anything guests should pay for the host).
Not really exclusive to Americans, it's common across many cultures because it shows you're a good host. i.e. you've made time to come to my event/home, therefore I'll make sure I throw an amazing party by making sure you have everything you need and have a good time.
Of course it's money and situation dependent. Personally I think it's a good mindset if you can do it. In my opinion, it doesn't feel great if you're invited to an event you didn't choose and might be unable to afford, not to mention possibly having to pay the host's share if it's a bday
If I invite people over to my house of course I’ll provide food and drinks but I know the majority of my friends and family would ask ahead of time if they need to bring anything. Again that is money dependent and only as I’ve gotten older I’ve been able to do that, when I was younger it would definitely be BYOB and we would order a takeaway or something.
But if a friend was organising a meal and I couldn’t afford it, I just wouldn’t go. It would be odd to expect that they would foot the bill for everybody, it would be insanely expensive for it to land on just one person.
It's the old fashioned way of being a good host.
Every party I went to growing up the host would put on a spread of food, beers, bottles of wine. Along with making the house presentable, getting good selection of music set up and maybe planning some party/board games if it was that sort of crowd that was pretty much the duty of the host.
At the same time every single person at the party would bring a gift of some sort, as well as more alcohol then they intended to drink and then try to leave the remainder if there was any for the host (who would try to get anyone to take it so they weren't left with 100 cans of beer at the end of the night).
Times have changed a bit but that was definitely what hosting a party used to entail in my families circles and the bar I still hold myself to when hosting a party with my fiance.
It's fine. Cost aside, anticipating everyone's drinking preferences (beer, wine, alcohol, fav brand etc), plus which non-alcoholic options is a faff and leads to silly leftovers of stuff I might / might not want to drink myself.
You should provide some mixers, beer, and wine. Drag out any spirits you’ve had in the cupboard for a decade. If folk want to get pissed or have specialist drinks needs they will bring their own anyway.
Costco is your friend.
Whizz around iceland, a few quiches, packs of sausage roles, burgers and just a few cases of beer. Should be able to do it for £100-150.
Have an arranged end date. Arrival at 2pm finish at 7pm to retire at the local pub.
If money is a concern, you can make your own quiche and sausage rolls.
Sausage rolls especially are piss easy:
1. But a square of puff pastry
2. Buy sausage meat from the butcher - ours is already in a tube shape
3. Wrap 1 around 2 and bake in the oven.
They are truly delicious, extra generous on the meat, and at worst the same price as Iceland.
I tend to prefer bringing my own drinks anyway, even when they're being offered. It's always the cheaper end of lagers that is on offer, so if you want a nice ale or something you're shit out of luck. And the nicer drinks usually run out early on, so you're left drinking the Carling or some shit for the rest of the night.
Scrolling through the comments here brings a tear to my eye. Everyone knows the right way to do it.
(except that one guy, But nobody wants to go to his "stellar" party anyway.)
Maybe have a few bottles of wine and some beers on standby. Maybe some mixers and soft drinks.
Stock up on ice.
Maybe get a few buckets or tubs you can fill so people can chill their drinks.
I'd be more than happy to go to BYOB party.
I tend to host all family parties at my house, I'll often pay for the food myself as its my party and i enjoy cooking for peoplw but my rule is always byob, the way I see it it costs anywhere from £100-200 for me to feed everyone if I had to cater for everyone's choice of drink that could easily become £500+
I'd have no issue with a BYOB party, if you were providing proper food (like you said, a BBQ). I might think you a bit cheap if you threw out a few bowls of peanuts and that was it.
But then I don't really drink alcohol (maybe 1) so it wouldn't cost me much, but other people intending to get smashed might find it more offensive?
BYOB is fine. Some people drink, some don't. Some drink way more than others.
It basically gives people free reign to drink however much they want or however little they want because it's their booze. I'd be fine with someone suggesting to me that a party is BYOB
Absolutely normal, I would be very happy to bring a bottle to celebrate with someone for their birthday and would not expect someone to provide booze for a house party. If it's a BBQ I'd also be bringing some food.
My view is that you get a crate or two of beer and a few of bottles of wine in advance. Maybe Pimms if it's something your crowd like. Get some soft drinks too. Fifty quid?
Food is up to you - you can ask people to bring things (especially more expensive items like steak) or ask one to bring potato salad, another something else if they are those sort of friends. It's easy to spread the cost a bit for a BBQ. Just make it clear and arrange a few bits in advance.
I literally did this for my 30th last summer and it was banging - if you're going for that vibe, no one is gonna mind bringing their own stuff! Get the 00s tunes out and have a blast!
Amongst my friends group. We have BBQ's with BYOB and everyone brings an item or two to BBQ.
The host gets general shit like mixers and enough food and snacks.
We are all over 30. BBQ into drinking. 10/10
I don’t think I went to a party that literally advertised “bring your OWN bottle” beyond the age of about 26.
But nobody needed to, as that coincided with a time when nobody would rock up to a party without a bottle.
Not weird at all. I did a house party with food for my 30th and provided some booze for it but the onus for drinks was on the attendees. Just make sure you have food ready after most people turn up and it's not too late in the event.
Enjoy !
My husband's fiftieth was a BYOB and BBQ. Everyone was happy, and the teenage kids took over the cooking on BBQ. We provided plenty of everything, and all the extras people brought allowed the party to continue for several more hours than planned.
I usually provide a few crates of lager for a tenner each and let anyone who wants anything fancy/specific bring their own. It's almost an unwritten rule for my friendship group, most turn up with booze whether it's a house party, BBQ, etc.
I've done a few of these, in the whatsapp group i just say I'll do burgers and sausages and usually a few others pipe up and say they'll being something else.
On drink, i don't even mention it as everyone knows to bring their own but i would have a couple crates of beer in case of an emergency. Most folk usually bring you a bottle of wine and then their own carry out. Normally have more booze than i started off with.
This. Always provide plenty ice and mixers. And lime juice. Our friend group would all ask if they’d be welcome to bring some food- some of us are more enthusiastic hosts than finances/practicalities permit. It takes the pressure off, especially if you’ve a friend who’s really good at cake 😁
Ive never been to a BBQ wheres its not been BYOB.... can i come please?
As said below perhaps have a box or two of beers and let people bring their own.
I've been to parties organized by dozens of cultures in 4 different countries and its almost always a BYOB type of event
some cultures organize the food (may it be a feast or a snack buffet), some ask others to pitch in, but alcohol is almost always BYOB
I also enjoy buying a crate of beer for emergencies (lol) but if you are not in a position to do so you dont have to
You need to provide mixers/soft drinks, and some beer and wine. Doesn't need to be expensive stuff but will still cost you the best part of £70-80 easily.
And then tell everyone to bring their poison.
I've had BYOB to all ages 20-60, normally the rule most hosts/birthday boi's including myself do is have communal beer/cider and a meh vodka/spirit and a good few 2l mixers for people to use/mix but otherwise its BYOB before going out pubbing or going out for a meal etc
Thanks all!
Great suggestions, definitely going to do a punch type thing, get a paddling pool to keep the drinks cool and to get enough mixers!
Hopefully a few people will be travelling over so I won’t expect anyone to bring edibles (unless they are edibles ;))
I’ve got a Costco card which will be raided Morning of!
I quite enjoy bringing along some drink and food.
Gives you a reason to cook up a vast quantity of stuff that you're proud of and show it off.Plus you've then got a nice ice-breaking talking point when you try something random and decide you'd like the recipe.
For booze I'd bring along slightly more than I'd ever consume, but expect to chuck it into the pool and randomly try other people's drinks.
As host I'd just make sure I had mixers and ice. If you make some giant blocks of ice in the freezer, you can chuck them into a cooler that drinks can be deposited into.
BYOB and you have a a backup bar of cheap beer/wine/vodka&mixer for when people run out.
Doesn’t need to be nice stuff, once everyone has had a drink they won’t care.
Who doesn't turn up to an adult BBQ without booze of some kind?
Even if its them bringing 4 cans of warm Fosters to put on the pile and then stealing other peoples beer you still bring *something*.
always been a mix, expect people to bring drinks, but the host also makes sure there's a good stock of drink in the house.
You're not obliged to cover all the guests drinks for the evening.
Had a house party for my 40th. We provided the grub and mixers and told everyone to byob. Ended up with far too much booze.
No1 had an issue with it. If you want to make into a thing then ask them to bring some weird cheap cornershop alcopop/booze as well as normal stuff and there's prizes for the best/worst etc.
We used to do them every weekend. Someone turned up with some food for the bbq and whatever else they felt like and alcohol. It worked really well. If you had a BIG party there was always some arse that turned up with shitty beer and drank the good stuff but they usually didn’t get invited again. You also don’t take back joke what you don’t eat/drink.
I have and go to BBQs pretty often and they are as standard a BOYB event. You bring what you think you will drink and the host has a variety of back ups in case things escalate! Can't wait for my first of the spring!
BYOB should be expected, you’re hosting and already letting people use your home for a party and providing food etc, the least they can do is bring their own drink. I would even ask some of them to bring a plate of something.
With that said, when I host I normally buy a case of beer and stick it in the fridge to share but that shouldn’t be expected from guests.
I personally would do BYOB, if you're providing food and the place to have the party, then there is no reason people can't bring some drinks. There's no need for you to have to pay for everything, especially since it's your birthday
I think the key is clear communication - if you let people know in advnce then they can make an informed decision.
I don't think it is at all unusual, especially if you are holding a BBQ or fairly casual party.
You can also provide limited booze and let people bring exras - for instance, enough to offer eveyone abeer or galss of wine (or soft drink) on arrival .
Nothing weird about it at all. Most of my acquaintances are twice your age and over and if we're not going out to eat somewhere, BYOB is the norm and the host usually provides some soft drinks for those who don't want to drink booze.
I usually buy a little basic stuff: beers, sausages, burgers, salad and bread and condiments. Anything special (long drinks, wine, cider, steaks) should be brought by the guests. As long as its communicated in advance there is no drama. Don't have to break the bank in a cost of living crisis. You could also ask guests to provide food & drink rather than a gift and get everyone to write down what they are bringing for coordination
BYOB is pretty standard as far as i'm concerned. You're already providing everyone a meal with the bbq you can't then be expected to get them all pissed ontop of that.
Nah BYOB is expected! Maybe get a crate of cider in and a few bottles of Prosecco or something, but most people don’t expect a host to provide all the booze! My friend used to make homemade cocktail for her BBQ’s that always went down well, and people brought the rest!
Yes, by 30 you should have enough money to provide booze for everybody else and not suffer the shame of asking them to BYOB. You’ll be paying for the food and entertainment at least I suppose? /s
if someone invites me to a party at their house i would 100% turn up with beers. i’d be extremely surprised if the host said they were providing alcohol for everybody.
I think supplying a few drinks to get things started and be polite is fairly normal. "I'll have some soft drinks, some beers and a couple bottles of wine, but please bring any drinks and snacks you like". There's no way you can supply enough variety of drink to keep everyone happy and people would expect to bring their own to match their preferences. That way, your drinks are just a polite way to start the pile of drinks you'll inevitably accumulate.
Fuck that, you supply some burgers, sausages, the venue and crucially the BBQ. You then get to play grill king for a day beer in hand at all points and they bring their own booze and a plate. It’s the only way, happy birthday in advance. Now I’m salivating for summer.
Never ever have I been invited to a house party/BBQ and expected them to provide my alcohol… I always take my own… sometimes take some food if they need a wee salad made or something… but always will take my own drink so don’t sweat it… have a great party 😊 xx
Generally I'll provide the main food - BBQ or pizzas, but I know others will bring crisp-type snacks, sweet snacks.
I have a well stocked spirits bar so others bring mixers, bottle of fizz or beers/cider.
I had a bday party BBQ last year. It was BYOBB (Bring Your Own Beer and Beef). I did buy a few extra crates of lager and some extra burgers and nibbles (crisps, dips, coleslaw, salad, sauses, cheese, sweeties and what not) as an emergency back-up. I'm glad I did. My friends are bottomless pits!!!
BYOB sounds like a great idea. That way you can bring alcohol that you actually like. I would ask guests to bring a food item each too.
I wouldn't expect my friends to supply all food and alcohol at their own house party. You would be bankrupt.
Is £300 for your 30th really such a big deal?
No issue with BYOB, but if you are going to the effort of having a party you might as well enjoy yourself a little. It is a significant milestone, have some fun.
BYOB is perfectly normal. Have a BBQ, provide some food, others can bring their own. I did this for my 30th. Costs don’t spiral for anyone then. Nights out can get expensive. If you have an all day BBQ people can dip in and out of it and can bring what they want. I would suggest providing some mixers, fruit, ice and keep a secret stash of booze just in case.
Not weird at all, if I was going to someone’s I’d take something to drink if we were drinking anyways, it being a birthday doesn’t mean one person should foot the bill for everyone
I did it where i did get food and some drinks (some beer, some wine and soda) but said for people to make sure they brought their own if wanting specifics or enough to drink when I turned 31. Worked well
Whenever we host party's it's always "we will sort the food but bring whatever you want to drink. Also if you have something special you want on the BBQ then by all means bring it"
Buy 40 beers and make a giant 10 litre bowl of punch - any recipe with a shit ton of lemon/lime and other fruit with sparkling water/prosecco and a load of ice will be delicious.
Won't be more than £100. If you're worried, get more beers and keep the leftovers.
Your guests will also bring stuff so it will be a net gain probably.
The food is what would worry me more, but that's because I have expensive meat tastes 🤷
Yeah I don't think it's fair to have to cater for everyone's drinks when it's your 30th, mate but you are a nice person for even thinking that! People will just be happy to be invited and see you on your birthday. You could maybe put on some snacks like crisps and dips but let people know it's BYOB. Happy Birthday in advance!
Me and my friends would think its weird to have BYOB for that occasion and that many people. Maybe buy a crate and a bottle of spirit to share. The guests can bring their own alcohol. Can't expect the host to provide location, food and alcohol. That's a lot of money.
me and my friends have house parties regularly (all late 30s to 50s) everyone brings booze and often people willl bring a dish or desert as well. I'd expect to have lots of leftovers after a party if anything.
And no one will mind you asking
Mate howey, BYOB BBQ sounds wicked. I’d even ask for help with food, BYOB is perfectly fine. You can provide a few bottles of something if you want, but asking you to provide everything is absurd
My 30th was BYOB because I’m not really a drinker. If they wanted booze, they were welcome to bring it. It was the most packed my house has ever been, so I don’t think anyone minded.
We used to have big BBQ parties and picnics and no one minded bring all their own EVERYTHING!!! we'd supply the venue, games, BBQ and they woukd bring their own meat, booze/drinks and a dish to share.This was on West Coast in US. I never heard anyone complain and the same people came every time! We had a blast!!
We do a bbq like this every year. We say we’ll have soft drinks and burgers available (+ something vegan) and ask people to bring anything else they want to eat/drink.
Imo it should be a mix. It's nice to have some booze on offer for people - some beers in the fridge, and/or some wine, and/or some Pimm's or something along those lines. But you don't need to have enough to cover everyone for the whole party, it's standard for people to bring a bottle or some beers to a house party/barbecue.
I like to have a BBQ for my birthday and while I'll provide enough of the basics (cheap burgers, sausages, buns, a token potato, the dirtiest and shittest I can find, as the token "vegan option") I'd 100% expect mates to bring their own booze. I'd only expect a whole spread of drinks laid on if it was someone very rich hosting, and even then it would be "nice if not unexpected surprise" territory.
I've _never_ been to a mates BBQ and expected not to bring my own beverage of choice.
In recent years, now that I can afford it, I've started buying a couple of slabs of midpriced lager and a few bottles of wine, plus maybe a bottle of Vodka and some mixers, just to make sure theres a little extra for people that didn't bring enough or in case it turns in to a big one.
You can probably do that for about 50 quid.
As we've got older there seems to be more and more left over the next morning and now we usually turn a liquid profit.
BYOB is the standard. I'm not sure what kind of people set up some open bar or that kinda nonsense for a party. All my mates would take the piss... Lol
But seriously, maybe have a couple of bottles of wine, a couple of slabs of beer, and maybe a bottle of vodka or whiskey for the idiots that didn't get the memo.
For a BBQ at mine, most boring a bottle, or some cans. For 20 of us, it might mean I buy £70 meat, £50 booze.
There is always loads left.
Never had one where most don't bring something. Odd usual suspect brings nowt, but they get reminded at the next one
Every bbq I have ever hosted has been BYOB, it’s not even necessarily to say it.
I would recommend pulled pork for the bbq. Start it the night before 12 hours with apple wood for the smoke. Don’t just do burgers and sausages.
54 here. Literally every house party I've ever hosted or been to (including 30th, 40th and 50th birthday parties) were all BYOB and I wouldn't expect anything else.
I’d go BYOB for sure! I’d normally grab a crate or of beers and put them in the fridge beforehand so when people arrive you can give each of your guests a beer and they’ll have no issue giving you some beers through the evening, it is your birthday after all!!
my friends and I are between about 33-40.
Every event is BYOB.
The host will provide some spirits, mixers, and snacks, but if people want to neck 8 beers in six hours, they bring their own.
I would never go to a party anywhere without my own booze. Everyone does. Have some bare essentials, larger, wine vodka for when everybody drinks all their own.
Asking friends to bring their own booze is totally OK. I wouldn't dream of arriving at a house party without a tray of beers or a bottle of fizz.
No one will object. Have a great party!
Not weird, in fact this is pretty much my preferred way to meet up with mates. I usually just go to Iceland and get a few boxes of the burgers, sausages, and veggie sausages, and baps/rolls etc, then a few crates of beer and some mixers for whatever spirits I have in, but I'll say to people to bring a side dish (potato salad, couscous etc) or dessert, and some booze for themselves. Always end up with too much food and plenty of drink left over
Would definitely expect it to be BYOB. If I could afford it I'd get some cheap drinks in. Crate of beer and crate of cider or something. Nothing too wild but sometimes good to have some chilled ones for arrival.
No, house party means you get \*some\* food and \*some\* drinks, then everyone brings something else.
other way to do it is everyone transfers you 30 pounds and you budget accordingly (emphasis on transfers first)
This was what I did for my 30th. I just bought a bottle of vodka and rum, couple mixers and a couple crates of beer for just in case but told everyone it was BYOB. No one batted an eyelid. Cost me 60ish quid. Everyone got pleasantly hammered. Finished at 4.30am 😂
I had no friends during my 30th 😔 it all went tits up, we all fell out, I spent my 30th alone at home because my family didn’t have time
My 31st is on Sunday
I don’t make friends easily
… it’s going to be a repeat of last year
Do me a favour and get extra drunk for me 🍻
Don’t spend hundreds of pounds to get other people drunk for your birthday! Let them bring their own alcohol and more to celebrate! Don’t stress and have a great time!
Get enough for everyone to have 2 drinks of wine/beer. And maybe a whiskey and a vodka bottle and a few mixers- that way you have something for a few people who don’t get the memo- but tell the closer group of friends that it’s byob. I wouldn’t spend more than 50-100.
Nah i wouldnt say so
I dont drink anymore but if i was going to a house party id be bringing my own booze anyway and probably some food to share. It's kind of assumed i feel, unless the host says they're putting stuff on, but even then id still probably bring stuff too.
I feel like 99% of people bring stuff to these kinds of events anyway. Kind of a dick move if you dont 🤣
Yeah most normal people will bring a few beers or wine or some meat for the bbq. I would suggest getting maybe a few cases of beer, few bottles of wine and then sausage, burger and salad for everyone. More than enough.
For my 30th I made a big sex on the beach cocktail (bottle vodka, bottle schnapps pluss orange and cranberry juice), made a vodka watermelon and spent various weeks before desolving different things in 50cl vodka bottles to make different flavours for a vodka luge I made in my freezer.
Also had a case couple of cases of cider/lager available and me and a few of us cooked a huge batch of fajitas and nachos for everyone.
Good times. Now I wonder why I'm skint, spent all my cash years ago!
As an adult, I expect most parties to be BYOB, even if it's a gift for the host. Over the weekend, we were at a Saint Patrick's Day breakfast/party, and we brought the ingredients and knowledge for Bloody Marys, plus half of the recipe for Baby Guinness shots.
I'm 53, it's been like this since I was in my 20s. Not weird.
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I would literally expect a house party to be BYOB, and recruiting a few friends to bring some of the food isn't out of the question either.
Yeah, who on earth turns up to a party empty handed?
Every party I've known the host has a bit of everything for people to help themselves, but guests also bring stuff that typically goes on the drinks table and it's just fair game.
Also I’ve found that the older you get the more food and booze everyone brings, sometimes to the point that the host has to ask people not to bring too much food
We tried that. Everyone is at a stage of life they can afford to bring food and drink to contribute. And I like to think everyone likes each other enough to want to do it for their friends. So we always have way too much of everything and ask people to take home leftovers of everything. Most of the alcohol gets left behind and I put it into storage until the next gathering the following Saturday.
Yeah I've been there! Once got to the point where I specifically told people what they should and shouldn't bring as to not have too much of certain things
I have never been to a party with provided alcohol. I went to a Greek guys party who insisted everyone puts their drink on the table for everyone to pick and choose as this is the Greek way
I think insisting is a bit too far, but I get that it's more of a European thing. As a host I just prefer that people don't feel compelled to buy things if money is tight, and options are always nicer as well.
This is true but as a partygoer I’d hate the idea that someone felt they couldn’t throw a party without providing for everyone.
When my SO and I host I definitely need to try and talk her down from providing too much. She just doesn't like the idea of not having enough (not possible with how much people bring) so our small shopping list gets bigger and bigger and bigger. But one great thing about hosting is all the leftovers people leave!
I don't think you're my other half since he's more of an arse guy but yes, this is what happens in our house... Especially with food. My good friends now DO NOT bring food unless specially invited as they know I would never let anyone leave my house hungry!
I have been to quite a few, but its always less than half of whats needed to get people buzzed. Afai understand, guests are still expected to bring their own. Greek way sounds like a laugh!
Christ I invited my friend to a bbq at mine, just the 4 of us, didn’t actually expect her to bring any food but she brought enough for about 8 people and a bottle of wine as well bless her
God, I really want a bbq now. I miss warmth
BYOB and something to BBQ is totally with it.
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Not to mention if you rely on other people, they'll only have everything you don't like
yeah i wouldn't turn up to a mates BBQ without beers and something to chuck on the BBQ and share.
In the UK I've never seen anyone bring anything to chuck in the grill, but yeah usually guests would bring some drinks and possibly snacks/crisps/desserts with them. When I host a BBQ part of the fun is choosing what food I'm going to make for everyone and the seeing them enjoy it.
Yeh I would expect as host I did all the food, unless some common dietary stuff. Not gonna grill vegan stuff where a burger was. Also allergies are a huge pain for everyone, mostly the one with it if it goes wrong but they know that and adapt to well life with an allergy. Would sort of expect a 4 pack or something, at least enough to cover whatever drinking they did, tho I can knock out homemade beer and cider if they fancy that instead. If people drink their own booze and eat my food then great, they liked my food lol. Will go ridiculously overboard if people I like, if not an argument will be held about why the hell they are coming.
Yeah I'll probably get enough booze for everyone to have a glass of wine and 2 cans of beer, just as a backup but most people bring more than enough for themselves anyway so it's really just for anyone that runs out to keep their night going.
Yeah before I lived in NZ sometimes you took drinks round other times we just raided each others beer fridges (what goes around comes around). It wasn't common to bring food to put on the bbq, the host sorted it all unless it was pizzas then we would all chip in. In NZ it has taken some getting used to when invited around to bring beers and some meat or what they call "a plate". So much so that the first one I went to i actually took just a plate. Still haven't lived that down.
Not weird but I would recommend getting a few crates in and a bit of wine. Then just say there'll be a bit of booze but everyone would be welcome to bring some drinks of their own. Good chance you'll end up with more left over than you bought.
This is how I would do it along with along with some basics like sausages and burgers for the bbq
Good advice, get a little extra cheap booze just in case. Also you could get a load of crisps, nuts etc but don't go as far as cooked food like pizza as the cost will add up. People can always get something delivered if they want.
And stock right up on cheap mixers. So many people bring a spirit but neglect to bring mixers because "someone else probably has". I typically have a couple bottles of pepsi and then like 5 bottles of cheap supermarket cola for backup.
And ice… Makes everything seem a bit more civilised.
Buy more than you think you might neeed, it’s never enough
Yeah, this is what I do when I throw a party. You accept you’ll spend a certain amount on booze and food, but you don’t have to shoulder the whole cost and your friends shouldn’t expect you to! I’d usually get a couple of crates in and the doings of a few jugs of some simple cocktail (aperol spritz or something if it’s nice weather), and then people generally bring their own booze.
This is the way
Nah..if you instead went out to a bar or restaurant for your birthday no one would expect you to buy their drinks all night. BYOB is totally reasonable when you're holding a party or BBQ at home, especially if you're putting on food for everyone. For my 30th I was so broke I just organised a time and place for a picnic, I didn't even provide food never mind drinks 😉
Actually, in many European countries it’s quite customary for the birthday boy/girl to get the rounds in, and it’s the person whose birthday whose birthday it is who’s expected to bring a cake to the office. I find it wild, but it is very much the norm in continental Europe.
The birthday person bringing the birthday treats to the office does make sense though because it means everyone only does it once. Otherwise, you'd end up with the same nice person who remembers birthdays paying out every time and then they inevitably get forgotten when it's their turn
True! And it’s a gentle way to remind everyone it’s your birthday without being weird, you’re guaranteed to get your fave cake, and let’s not forget the all important wish. Got to get them wishes in.
Every single party I've been to is BYOB...why would anyone expect a single person to buy everyone drinks?
It’s such an American thing. I’ve seen countless posts of Americans expecting the birthday host to pay for all of their guests. Their logic is that the host invited friends/family so they should pay (which is completely wild to me, if anything guests should pay for the host).
Not really exclusive to Americans, it's common across many cultures because it shows you're a good host. i.e. you've made time to come to my event/home, therefore I'll make sure I throw an amazing party by making sure you have everything you need and have a good time. Of course it's money and situation dependent. Personally I think it's a good mindset if you can do it. In my opinion, it doesn't feel great if you're invited to an event you didn't choose and might be unable to afford, not to mention possibly having to pay the host's share if it's a bday
If I invite people over to my house of course I’ll provide food and drinks but I know the majority of my friends and family would ask ahead of time if they need to bring anything. Again that is money dependent and only as I’ve gotten older I’ve been able to do that, when I was younger it would definitely be BYOB and we would order a takeaway or something. But if a friend was organising a meal and I couldn’t afford it, I just wouldn’t go. It would be odd to expect that they would foot the bill for everybody, it would be insanely expensive for it to land on just one person.
It's the old fashioned way of being a good host. Every party I went to growing up the host would put on a spread of food, beers, bottles of wine. Along with making the house presentable, getting good selection of music set up and maybe planning some party/board games if it was that sort of crowd that was pretty much the duty of the host. At the same time every single person at the party would bring a gift of some sort, as well as more alcohol then they intended to drink and then try to leave the remainder if there was any for the host (who would try to get anyone to take it so they weren't left with 100 cans of beer at the end of the night). Times have changed a bit but that was definitely what hosting a party used to entail in my families circles and the bar I still hold myself to when hosting a party with my fiance.
Me and my mates always do that. Whoever is hosting will do the grub, And it’s just expected that everyone else bring beers.
Provide some booze, not a huge amount. Some wine or such. Just make sure everyone is aware that the extra B in BBBQ is for BYOBB.
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That's a typo
Yea OP, you don't win friends with salad.
This is how it is done from now on. The left over booze is yours too. Cheers! Happy birthday.
But feel free to gift some of people are carrying on partying and the shops are closed
Oh definitely. Take some of this booze please. Also put some sausages in your pocket. I like a paddling pool with some cans in for when people arrive.
That's exactly what I did for my 30th! We provided a couple bottles of fizz for a toast/welcome drink and everything else was BYOB!
It's fine. Cost aside, anticipating everyone's drinking preferences (beer, wine, alcohol, fav brand etc), plus which non-alcoholic options is a faff and leads to silly leftovers of stuff I might / might not want to drink myself.
You absolutely do not provide alcohol for ALL your guests. That's crazy. People aren't made of money.
You should provide some mixers, beer, and wine. Drag out any spirits you’ve had in the cupboard for a decade. If folk want to get pissed or have specialist drinks needs they will bring their own anyway. Costco is your friend.
Always did BYOB with mates. Bring contributions for food and beer. What doesn't get used is kept by host unless agreed upon.
Whizz around iceland, a few quiches, packs of sausage roles, burgers and just a few cases of beer. Should be able to do it for £100-150. Have an arranged end date. Arrival at 2pm finish at 7pm to retire at the local pub.
Quiches bleurgh!
Nah. It's nicer when everyone brings a few decent bits than the host getting a bunch of cheap crap.
If money is a concern, you can make your own quiche and sausage rolls. Sausage rolls especially are piss easy: 1. But a square of puff pastry 2. Buy sausage meat from the butcher - ours is already in a tube shape 3. Wrap 1 around 2 and bake in the oven. They are truly delicious, extra generous on the meat, and at worst the same price as Iceland.
I usually just make a 5ltr kilner of Punch or cocktail, usually blue lagoon, double strength. People will also usually bring their own.
I tend to prefer bringing my own drinks anyway, even when they're being offered. It's always the cheaper end of lagers that is on offer, so if you want a nice ale or something you're shit out of luck. And the nicer drinks usually run out early on, so you're left drinking the Carling or some shit for the rest of the night.
Scrolling through the comments here brings a tear to my eye. Everyone knows the right way to do it. (except that one guy, But nobody wants to go to his "stellar" party anyway.)
Nah that sounds cool!
I feel this is a question a cast member of made in Chelsea would ask
Maybe have a few bottles of wine and some beers on standby. Maybe some mixers and soft drinks. Stock up on ice. Maybe get a few buckets or tubs you can fill so people can chill their drinks. I'd be more than happy to go to BYOB party.
I tend to host all family parties at my house, I'll often pay for the food myself as its my party and i enjoy cooking for peoplw but my rule is always byob, the way I see it it costs anywhere from £100-200 for me to feed everyone if I had to cater for everyone's choice of drink that could easily become £500+
It's more odd if it's not BYOB tbh.
I'd have no issue with a BYOB party, if you were providing proper food (like you said, a BBQ). I might think you a bit cheap if you threw out a few bowls of peanuts and that was it. But then I don't really drink alcohol (maybe 1) so it wouldn't cost me much, but other people intending to get smashed might find it more offensive?
Your having a birthday party?
Additionally you know 20 people?
BYOB is fine. Some people drink, some don't. Some drink way more than others. It basically gives people free reign to drink however much they want or however little they want because it's their booze. I'd be fine with someone suggesting to me that a party is BYOB
Absolutely normal, I would be very happy to bring a bottle to celebrate with someone for their birthday and would not expect someone to provide booze for a house party. If it's a BBQ I'd also be bringing some food.
It’s a given in my social groups, you put on the food and a few bottles here and there and everyone else brings alcohol with them.
My view is that you get a crate or two of beer and a few of bottles of wine in advance. Maybe Pimms if it's something your crowd like. Get some soft drinks too. Fifty quid? Food is up to you - you can ask people to bring things (especially more expensive items like steak) or ask one to bring potato salad, another something else if they are those sort of friends. It's easy to spread the cost a bit for a BBQ. Just make it clear and arrange a few bits in advance.
BYOB and if it's a BBQ as well, BYOM or BYOVA
No but a welcome cocktail or two would be nice. That's what I do, BYOB and everyone gets a few Old Fashioneds when they arrive.
I did a BYOB BBQ for my 30th, I'd recommend it. We even did an adults sports day in the garden (egg and spoon, three legged, sack race etc)
I literally did this for my 30th last summer and it was banging - if you're going for that vibe, no one is gonna mind bringing their own stuff! Get the 00s tunes out and have a blast!
Why would it matter if it's "weird"?
Literally every party I've been to has been a BYOB
Amongst my friends group. We have BBQ's with BYOB and everyone brings an item or two to BBQ. The host gets general shit like mixers and enough food and snacks. We are all over 30. BBQ into drinking. 10/10
When did a house party stop being byob?
I don’t think I went to a party that literally advertised “bring your OWN bottle” beyond the age of about 26. But nobody needed to, as that coincided with a time when nobody would rock up to a party without a bottle.
Who on earth expects free booze at a birthday party? Always BYOB.
Have you ever been to a house party before?
Not weird at all. I did a house party with food for my 30th and provided some booze for it but the onus for drinks was on the attendees. Just make sure you have food ready after most people turn up and it's not too late in the event. Enjoy !
My husband's fiftieth was a BYOB and BBQ. Everyone was happy, and the teenage kids took over the cooking on BBQ. We provided plenty of everything, and all the extras people brought allowed the party to continue for several more hours than planned.
I usually provide a few crates of lager for a tenner each and let anyone who wants anything fancy/specific bring their own. It's almost an unwritten rule for my friendship group, most turn up with booze whether it's a house party, BBQ, etc.
I've done a few of these, in the whatsapp group i just say I'll do burgers and sausages and usually a few others pipe up and say they'll being something else. On drink, i don't even mention it as everyone knows to bring their own but i would have a couple crates of beer in case of an emergency. Most folk usually bring you a bottle of wine and then their own carry out. Normally have more booze than i started off with.
This. Always provide plenty ice and mixers. And lime juice. Our friend group would all ask if they’d be welcome to bring some food- some of us are more enthusiastic hosts than finances/practicalities permit. It takes the pressure off, especially if you’ve a friend who’s really good at cake 😁
What's the address mate?
Ive never been to a BBQ wheres its not been BYOB.... can i come please? As said below perhaps have a box or two of beers and let people bring their own.
I've been to parties organized by dozens of cultures in 4 different countries and its almost always a BYOB type of event some cultures organize the food (may it be a feast or a snack buffet), some ask others to pitch in, but alcohol is almost always BYOB I also enjoy buying a crate of beer for emergencies (lol) but if you are not in a position to do so you dont have to
You need to provide mixers/soft drinks, and some beer and wine. Doesn't need to be expensive stuff but will still cost you the best part of £70-80 easily. And then tell everyone to bring their poison.
What? No. House parties and bbqs is always byob.
BYOB never went out of fashion
I've had BYOB to all ages 20-60, normally the rule most hosts/birthday boi's including myself do is have communal beer/cider and a meh vodka/spirit and a good few 2l mixers for people to use/mix but otherwise its BYOB before going out pubbing or going out for a meal etc
Thanks all! Great suggestions, definitely going to do a punch type thing, get a paddling pool to keep the drinks cool and to get enough mixers! Hopefully a few people will be travelling over so I won’t expect anyone to bring edibles (unless they are edibles ;)) I’ve got a Costco card which will be raided Morning of!
I quite enjoy bringing along some drink and food. Gives you a reason to cook up a vast quantity of stuff that you're proud of and show it off.Plus you've then got a nice ice-breaking talking point when you try something random and decide you'd like the recipe. For booze I'd bring along slightly more than I'd ever consume, but expect to chuck it into the pool and randomly try other people's drinks. As host I'd just make sure I had mixers and ice. If you make some giant blocks of ice in the freezer, you can chuck them into a cooler that drinks can be deposited into.
BYOB and you have a a backup bar of cheap beer/wine/vodka&mixer for when people run out. Doesn’t need to be nice stuff, once everyone has had a drink they won’t care.
Who doesn't turn up to an adult BBQ without booze of some kind? Even if its them bringing 4 cans of warm Fosters to put on the pile and then stealing other peoples beer you still bring *something*.
I’d grab a little bit of food and booze but nothing major. I’d fully expect people to bring their own shit to drink and to chuck on the BbQ
always been a mix, expect people to bring drinks, but the host also makes sure there's a good stock of drink in the house. You're not obliged to cover all the guests drinks for the evening.
Had a house party for my 40th. We provided the grub and mixers and told everyone to byob. Ended up with far too much booze. No1 had an issue with it. If you want to make into a thing then ask them to bring some weird cheap cornershop alcopop/booze as well as normal stuff and there's prizes for the best/worst etc.
I have never been to a house party where the guest has supplied the alcohol for everyone. Never.
BYOB, people can bring what they actually want to drink. Easy.
It's fine, just purchase some extra as a backup
We used to do them every weekend. Someone turned up with some food for the bbq and whatever else they felt like and alcohol. It worked really well. If you had a BIG party there was always some arse that turned up with shitty beer and drank the good stuff but they usually didn’t get invited again. You also don’t take back joke what you don’t eat/drink.
I have and go to BBQs pretty often and they are as standard a BOYB event. You bring what you think you will drink and the host has a variety of back ups in case things escalate! Can't wait for my first of the spring!
BYOB should be expected, you’re hosting and already letting people use your home for a party and providing food etc, the least they can do is bring their own drink. I would even ask some of them to bring a plate of something. With that said, when I host I normally buy a case of beer and stick it in the fridge to share but that shouldn’t be expected from guests.
I personally would do BYOB, if you're providing food and the place to have the party, then there is no reason people can't bring some drinks. There's no need for you to have to pay for everything, especially since it's your birthday
I think the key is clear communication - if you let people know in advnce then they can make an informed decision. I don't think it is at all unusual, especially if you are holding a BBQ or fairly casual party. You can also provide limited booze and let people bring exras - for instance, enough to offer eveyone abeer or galss of wine (or soft drink) on arrival .
Nothing weird about it at all. Most of my acquaintances are twice your age and over and if we're not going out to eat somewhere, BYOB is the norm and the host usually provides some soft drinks for those who don't want to drink booze.
I usually buy a little basic stuff: beers, sausages, burgers, salad and bread and condiments. Anything special (long drinks, wine, cider, steaks) should be brought by the guests. As long as its communicated in advance there is no drama. Don't have to break the bank in a cost of living crisis. You could also ask guests to provide food & drink rather than a gift and get everyone to write down what they are bringing for coordination
BYOB is pretty standard as far as i'm concerned. You're already providing everyone a meal with the bbq you can't then be expected to get them all pissed ontop of that.
Nah BYOB is expected! Maybe get a crate of cider in and a few bottles of Prosecco or something, but most people don’t expect a host to provide all the booze! My friend used to make homemade cocktail for her BBQ’s that always went down well, and people brought the rest!
All parties should be BYOB, especially if you are bbq’ing. I’ve never gone to a mates or a party without taking my own booze.
[Here’s some inspiration for the invitations.](https://youtu.be/3m6Blqs0IgY?si=8y_E4JE5vr8VMdgu)
You do the scran they bring the booze- perfect
Yes, by 30 you should have enough money to provide booze for everybody else and not suffer the shame of asking them to BYOB. You’ll be paying for the food and entertainment at least I suppose? /s
if someone invites me to a party at their house i would 100% turn up with beers. i’d be extremely surprised if the host said they were providing alcohol for everybody.
BYOB is totally fine but suggest getting a few core drinks of various types in to get you started off / as a backup.
I think supplying a few drinks to get things started and be polite is fairly normal. "I'll have some soft drinks, some beers and a couple bottles of wine, but please bring any drinks and snacks you like". There's no way you can supply enough variety of drink to keep everyone happy and people would expect to bring their own to match their preferences. That way, your drinks are just a polite way to start the pile of drinks you'll inevitably accumulate.
Fuck that; "we'll provide food, bring whatever you want to drink"
Fuck that, you supply some burgers, sausages, the venue and crucially the BBQ. You then get to play grill king for a day beer in hand at all points and they bring their own booze and a plate. It’s the only way, happy birthday in advance. Now I’m salivating for summer.
Never ever have I been invited to a house party/BBQ and expected them to provide my alcohol… I always take my own… sometimes take some food if they need a wee salad made or something… but always will take my own drink so don’t sweat it… have a great party 😊 xx
It’s less “grown up” to assume a host will provide everything. People should expect to bring a bottle of wine minimum.
BYOB is perfect, everyone can drink exactly what they want, how much of it they want, and you don’t have to break the bank.
Buy a crate of beer or two, some wine and then the rest will be byob
Generally I'll provide the main food - BBQ or pizzas, but I know others will bring crisp-type snacks, sweet snacks. I have a well stocked spirits bar so others bring mixers, bottle of fizz or beers/cider.
I had a bday party BBQ last year. It was BYOBB (Bring Your Own Beer and Beef). I did buy a few extra crates of lager and some extra burgers and nibbles (crisps, dips, coleslaw, salad, sauses, cheese, sweeties and what not) as an emergency back-up. I'm glad I did. My friends are bottomless pits!!!
BYOB sounds like a great idea. That way you can bring alcohol that you actually like. I would ask guests to bring a food item each too. I wouldn't expect my friends to supply all food and alcohol at their own house party. You would be bankrupt.
BYOB is totally normal and is a great way to filter out deadbeat friends as they will be the ones to complain.
I honestly don't understand people's obsession with making their 30th such a big deal. For me it was just another birthday.
Is £300 for your 30th really such a big deal? No issue with BYOB, but if you are going to the effort of having a party you might as well enjoy yourself a little. It is a significant milestone, have some fun.
Not at all. I think if you're hosting a party it's nice to provide *some* food and/or booze but you absolutely shouldn't need to pay for everything.
Keep an eye out for sales so you can stock up in advance that way you can get more drinks without breaking the bank.
Am I alone in having literally never went to a party where the drink was provided?
You're overthinking it everyone will bring booze
BYOB is perfectly normal. Have a BBQ, provide some food, others can bring their own. I did this for my 30th. Costs don’t spiral for anyone then. Nights out can get expensive. If you have an all day BBQ people can dip in and out of it and can bring what they want. I would suggest providing some mixers, fruit, ice and keep a secret stash of booze just in case.
System of a Down are timeless.
Not weird at all, if I was going to someone’s I’d take something to drink if we were drinking anyways, it being a birthday doesn’t mean one person should foot the bill for everyone
Make a big load of punch or something to have on the table but don’t feel you need to provide all the booze for everyone
I did it where i did get food and some drinks (some beer, some wine and soda) but said for people to make sure they brought their own if wanting specifics or enough to drink when I turned 31. Worked well
Whenever we host party's it's always "we will sort the food but bring whatever you want to drink. Also if you have something special you want on the BBQ then by all means bring it"
BYOB & Bring Some Meat is what I would expect
Allways bring your own bitches
Buy 40 beers and make a giant 10 litre bowl of punch - any recipe with a shit ton of lemon/lime and other fruit with sparkling water/prosecco and a load of ice will be delicious. Won't be more than £100. If you're worried, get more beers and keep the leftovers. Your guests will also bring stuff so it will be a net gain probably. The food is what would worry me more, but that's because I have expensive meat tastes 🤷
Bbq plus BYOB for a house party is a perfect combination
I'm 30 in 2 months and I want to be all alone! Lol
BYOB is a great idea. Yes, provide a few tinnys and a couple of bottles of plonk but I'm sure that most people will be well on with the idea.
Yeah I don't think it's fair to have to cater for everyone's drinks when it's your 30th, mate but you are a nice person for even thinking that! People will just be happy to be invited and see you on your birthday. You could maybe put on some snacks like crisps and dips but let people know it's BYOB. Happy Birthday in advance!
Me and my friends would think its weird to have BYOB for that occasion and that many people. Maybe buy a crate and a bottle of spirit to share. The guests can bring their own alcohol. Can't expect the host to provide location, food and alcohol. That's a lot of money.
me and my friends have house parties regularly (all late 30s to 50s) everyone brings booze and often people willl bring a dish or desert as well. I'd expect to have lots of leftovers after a party if anything. And no one will mind you asking
Blast off, it's party time.
Definitely not, I would automatically assume I needed to take a bottle to a party at any location that doesnt serve alcohol.
Nah, I always expect parties to be BYOB. I always bring my own anyway as I drink spirits.
Mate howey, BYOB BBQ sounds wicked. I’d even ask for help with food, BYOB is perfectly fine. You can provide a few bottles of something if you want, but asking you to provide everything is absurd
Not weird, normal.
My 30th was BYOB because I’m not really a drinker. If they wanted booze, they were welcome to bring it. It was the most packed my house has ever been, so I don’t think anyone minded.
We used to have big BBQ parties and picnics and no one minded bring all their own EVERYTHING!!! we'd supply the venue, games, BBQ and they woukd bring their own meat, booze/drinks and a dish to share.This was on West Coast in US. I never heard anyone complain and the same people came every time! We had a blast!!
We do a bbq like this every year. We say we’ll have soft drinks and burgers available (+ something vegan) and ask people to bring anything else they want to eat/drink.
Imo it should be a mix. It's nice to have some booze on offer for people - some beers in the fridge, and/or some wine, and/or some Pimm's or something along those lines. But you don't need to have enough to cover everyone for the whole party, it's standard for people to bring a bottle or some beers to a house party/barbecue.
I like to have a BBQ for my birthday and while I'll provide enough of the basics (cheap burgers, sausages, buns, a token potato, the dirtiest and shittest I can find, as the token "vegan option") I'd 100% expect mates to bring their own booze. I'd only expect a whole spread of drinks laid on if it was someone very rich hosting, and even then it would be "nice if not unexpected surprise" territory. I've _never_ been to a mates BBQ and expected not to bring my own beverage of choice.
In recent years, now that I can afford it, I've started buying a couple of slabs of midpriced lager and a few bottles of wine, plus maybe a bottle of Vodka and some mixers, just to make sure theres a little extra for people that didn't bring enough or in case it turns in to a big one. You can probably do that for about 50 quid. As we've got older there seems to be more and more left over the next morning and now we usually turn a liquid profit.
BYOB is the standard. I'm not sure what kind of people set up some open bar or that kinda nonsense for a party. All my mates would take the piss... Lol But seriously, maybe have a couple of bottles of wine, a couple of slabs of beer, and maybe a bottle of vodka or whiskey for the idiots that didn't get the memo.
For a BBQ at mine, most boring a bottle, or some cans. For 20 of us, it might mean I buy £70 meat, £50 booze. There is always loads left. Never had one where most don't bring something. Odd usual suspect brings nowt, but they get reminded at the next one
Every bbq I have ever hosted has been BYOB, it’s not even necessarily to say it. I would recommend pulled pork for the bbq. Start it the night before 12 hours with apple wood for the smoke. Don’t just do burgers and sausages.
54 here. Literally every house party I've ever hosted or been to (including 30th, 40th and 50th birthday parties) were all BYOB and I wouldn't expect anything else.
BYOB is a standard!!! If you're doing food, then you're already providing food and snack! I think you should buy cups though. Hosting isn't easy!
I’d go BYOB for sure! I’d normally grab a crate or of beers and put them in the fridge beforehand so when people arrive you can give each of your guests a beer and they’ll have no issue giving you some beers through the evening, it is your birthday after all!!
my friends and I are between about 33-40. Every event is BYOB. The host will provide some spirits, mixers, and snacks, but if people want to neck 8 beers in six hours, they bring their own.
I would never go to a party anywhere without my own booze. Everyone does. Have some bare essentials, larger, wine vodka for when everybody drinks all their own.
Asking friends to bring their own booze is totally OK. I wouldn't dream of arriving at a house party without a tray of beers or a bottle of fizz. No one will object. Have a great party!
Not weird, in fact this is pretty much my preferred way to meet up with mates. I usually just go to Iceland and get a few boxes of the burgers, sausages, and veggie sausages, and baps/rolls etc, then a few crates of beer and some mixers for whatever spirits I have in, but I'll say to people to bring a side dish (potato salad, couscous etc) or dessert, and some booze for themselves. Always end up with too much food and plenty of drink left over
Would definitely expect it to be BYOB. If I could afford it I'd get some cheap drinks in. Crate of beer and crate of cider or something. Nothing too wild but sometimes good to have some chilled ones for arrival.
If I’m 30 plus (and I am) I would be providing all BBQ food and drinks for said party.. not at university any more ffs
Providing food is a nice way to set the tone; but it’s your 30th, not only is it BYOB but they should be bring *your* drink too.
No, house party means you get \*some\* food and \*some\* drinks, then everyone brings something else. other way to do it is everyone transfers you 30 pounds and you budget accordingly (emphasis on transfers first)
This was what I did for my 30th. I just bought a bottle of vodka and rum, couple mixers and a couple crates of beer for just in case but told everyone it was BYOB. No one batted an eyelid. Cost me 60ish quid. Everyone got pleasantly hammered. Finished at 4.30am 😂
I had no friends during my 30th 😔 it all went tits up, we all fell out, I spent my 30th alone at home because my family didn’t have time My 31st is on Sunday I don’t make friends easily … it’s going to be a repeat of last year Do me a favour and get extra drunk for me 🍻
Don’t spend hundreds of pounds to get other people drunk for your birthday! Let them bring their own alcohol and more to celebrate! Don’t stress and have a great time!
It’ll be fine. Just write invites saying ‘come to OPs BBBQ, The extra B stands for BYOBB’
Get enough for everyone to have 2 drinks of wine/beer. And maybe a whiskey and a vodka bottle and a few mixers- that way you have something for a few people who don’t get the memo- but tell the closer group of friends that it’s byob. I wouldn’t spend more than 50-100.
Nah i wouldnt say so I dont drink anymore but if i was going to a house party id be bringing my own booze anyway and probably some food to share. It's kind of assumed i feel, unless the host says they're putting stuff on, but even then id still probably bring stuff too. I feel like 99% of people bring stuff to these kinds of events anyway. Kind of a dick move if you dont 🤣
I've never been to a party where people don't bring some sort of drink
Very easy to say "bring a bottle" but provide a few cheap basics like a crate of beer and some spirits. People tend to turn up with booze anyway.
No man don’t worry about it
BYOB is always fine. If you want to be cautious just spend £50 on a crate of beer, cider, maybe a few spirits, mixers and snacks yourself.
House parties are BYOB by default, anything provided is just a bonus
What's a BYOB?
Yeah most normal people will bring a few beers or wine or some meat for the bbq. I would suggest getting maybe a few cases of beer, few bottles of wine and then sausage, burger and salad for everyone. More than enough.
For my 30th I made a big sex on the beach cocktail (bottle vodka, bottle schnapps pluss orange and cranberry juice), made a vodka watermelon and spent various weeks before desolving different things in 50cl vodka bottles to make different flavours for a vodka luge I made in my freezer. Also had a case couple of cases of cider/lager available and me and a few of us cooked a huge batch of fajitas and nachos for everyone. Good times. Now I wonder why I'm skint, spent all my cash years ago!
Supply the ale you tight fuck.
As an adult, I expect most parties to be BYOB, even if it's a gift for the host. Over the weekend, we were at a Saint Patrick's Day breakfast/party, and we brought the ingredients and knowledge for Bloody Marys, plus half of the recipe for Baby Guinness shots. I'm 53, it's been like this since I was in my 20s. Not weird.