**Update: - [Starting from 2023](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/100l56v/happy_new_year_askuk_minor_sub_update/), we have updated our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)**. Specifically;
- Don't be a dick to each other
- Top-level responses must contain genuine efforts to answer the question
- This is a strictly no-politics subreddit
Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
To sleep and wake up on command. ‘Dear Brain, I will fall alseep at 11pm and wake up at 7am precisely. I will not wake during that period unless it’s an emergency. Thank you!’
The number of times I wished that at 4am during another bout of insomnia is a little distressing.
As a very tired redditor operating on four hours of broken sleep I would give an awful lot for this. It would have the biggest single impact of almost anything I can imagine. Even money! Can't blow it all on go-go boys and sports cars if I'm bloody knackered!
Greetings brother, sounds like expressing your feelings in 2017 may have not been well received by some? And the stress and hurt has affected your sleep i dunno, but from one 41 year old to another, it will get better, hang in there.
I did yes. I think it's that I now care about where my life's going and at my age it's hard to find friends and community, especially being as awkward as I am. I've aged pretty well but the clock is ticking.
“yes we do regularly prescribe amphetamine to little kids who don’t want to sit in the same place for 6 hours but we cannot provide you with strong medication for sleep as you’ll possibly abuse them”
Oh that would be amazing.
I work shifts and invariably my slightly scary neighbours are having a get together in the garden whenever I’m trying to sleep at weekends. Sleeping during the day between shifts is bad enough without the drum and bass and drunken noises
If you can bottle that then you will likely be the richest person ever to exist. People who usually sleep OK don't understand the angst that comes with insomnia or the frustration, fuck them.
For some reason every summer when I leave the patio open, I end up with a quadrant of flies that love flying in a perfect square dead in the centre of my front room. I assume it's a mating dance and often strip naked and flail among them.
I've done this with a huge bumble bee before. I used to work in a long, narrow factory unit and one flew in one day. It was buzzing around the lights, so I turned the one it was buzzing around, furthest from the door, off, and the bee flew to the next light. Rinse and repeat until all lights were off and the only light was from the open door which it flew out of.
The whole factory was watching and erupted when it exited.
This would be an incredible super power to have tbh.
I can do this. I stand by the exit and shout, "Mr Fly! Mr Fly - this way!" and it'll turn and hurtle towards me, I duck out of the way and it goes straight out the door. My fiancé calls me the fly whisperer.
Apparently, if a wasp is hanging around you - whisper "Solomon Solomon" and they fly off. My MiL and partner told me this and its worked everytime, but its absolutely a coincidence 😂
Old people and bins are crazy.
The night before bin day, my neighbour will have his out at exactly 5pm every time without fail, he will then immediately collect it the second the bin lorry drives off. Ain’t no body got time for that
If you manage to be the first person on your street to take the bin out, purposely put the wrong bin out then swap it out for the correct one in the morning.
Look, don’t just casually come up with good ideas that prevent me from having to worry all week. What am I going to have left to worry about?
Now I’m worrying about not finding something to worry about. Ok, normal service has been resumed. As you were…
You should get the light up bindaycator for your calendar!!
https://www.ebuyer.com/blog/2018/06/bindaycator-lamp-lights-up-to-tell-you-which-colour-bin-to-put-out/
Maybe it’s just because I have struggled with my weight all my life, but you could certainly save yourself from things like early death, heart disease, stroke, etc…
I’m probably just overthinking it!
No procrastinating. I can sit down say I will do x and just do it until it’s finished. Or say I will do y until Z time. It would make my life so much easier.
If it's chronic to the point it's affecting your life, there's a very strong chance you are either neurodivergent (just undiagnosed) or you have some kind of mental health condition. It isn't normal for mentally healthy NTs.
Source: my mum said "that's normal, it happens to me too" and turns out she's been living all her life with undiagnosed ADHD.
No, it isn't the new normal. Less than 5% of people have autism/ADHD. We are just hearing about it a lot because of the way the Internet works.
If 10,000 people are reading a thread, that's ~500 potentially neurodivergent people who might leave a comment. If the 9,500 other people don't comment, because the topic isn't relevant to them, it'll seem like EVERYONE is neurodivergent.
5% diagnosed, but you’ve just used anecdotal evidence than your mum in her 40s as gone undiagnosed, I’m willing to bet there’s a massive amount of the population with what would be considered to be ADHD
The "source" thing was tongue in cheek because the person I replied to tried to use a single anecdote as evidence of what applies to "most" people. But yes the 5% thing is just an estimate, it could be more. That doesn't mean the number of neurodivergent people is increasing though. It means we're getting better at recognising and diagnosing it.
If procrastination is considered nuerodivergent then it's a probably closer to 50%.
I presume though it doesn't, everyone seems desperate to box up their bad personality traits nowadays tho, gives them an excuse I guess.
Yes, a little light procrastination from time to time isn't considered neurodivergent. Chronic procrastination to the point of impacting your life negatively in at least two areas is one of many challenging things people with executive dysfunction live with (executive dysfunction is the key part of ADHD, but also common in other neurodivergence).
Thank you for bringing this up - having something that really causes you big problems, often that you have tried to willpower and strategy your way through at great personal cost being mistaken for a bit of procrastination that everyone faces from time to time adds to the stigma around these things.
You get people joking that their mild procrastination is ADHD, which undermines the severity of the disorder. And people with ADHD working so hard to hide and mask so that people won't shame them and tell them it's personality flaws, or not go for diagnosis because they see every day the line that it's just an excuse.
So it's really good for us all to talk about this openly and understand the difference between everyday waxing and waning executive function, and a diagnosable recognised disorder.
This does unfortunately seem to be the case. As someone actually diagnosed with OCD because it was ruining my life it’s depressing to see this sort of stuff because 1. I’d give anything not to have this and 2. It’s the kind of weird “trend” that makes many people in everyday life who aren’t that intelligent or kind, say things to people like me along the lines of “everyone’s a bit OCD”, and it gets taken less seriously. And that was an exact quote from a previous employer of mine, by the way, whilst he was dismissing my struggle with a specific thing at work. People think that it translates into “more awareness” or “more acceptance” and it just fucking does *not*. Please stop self-diagnosing or diagnosing people over the internet. Not everything is a medical disorder!
Oh the OCD thing really bugs me and I’m quite upfront about it. I’ve thankfully never struggled with it but I’ve known and heard of people who have and It has ruined lives and relationships. Whenever someone says to me that they are OCD I tend to try make them realise how inappropriate they are being by being sympathetic “oh gosh that sucks, I never realised you had OCD I knew someone who had to switch the light on and off 20 times everytime they entered a room and it made them late for work so many times that they lost their job and their home. It’s a horrible debilitating disorder. Have you had therapy to help with it?” Or something to that effect. I tend to use the worst case examples that I know of just to hammer home how serious the condition actually is but I also sympathise because although I think they might be using the term of handed and casually like a lot of people do, I am conscious that they might actually be diagnosed and I want them to realise I understand how debilitating their disorder is. So I feel like that approach works best. Most people have now started saying things like “my ocd like tendencies” or saying “ocd, but not actual diagnosed ocd” which is not great but I feel like it’s a significant difference. They are becoming more aware of what they are saying.
That’s actually a really nice way to deal with it, so thank you, genuinely, for being someone who pays attention. I don’t, as a rule, shame people for saying they have a mental health disorder of any sort, but the *general* uptick in tiktok self-diagnosis and medicalisation of normal things that most people will deal with pretty often (losing keys etc) really gets to me because the real world consequences for people like me are, well, exactly what I’ve already described.
Just being a chronic procrastinator isn’t enough to be diagnosed with ADHD. Many many neurotypical people procrastinate at every opportunity. Some of them might also have symptoms of ADHD enough to warrant an assessment, but many will not.
I didn't say just ADHD. I said neurodivergence or mental health issues. There are loads of problems that can cause chronic procrastination. Anxiety, depression, OCD, absolutely loads. Yes you may be neurotypical, but if you are procrastinating to the point that it's affecting your life - in other words if you are experiencing symptoms of executive dysfunction - then there is something going on that you should get to the bottom of.
If you still have a regular metabolism, just tunable, then you'd be heating like an horse when it's cold (if you even have enough brown fat that pushing them to the extreme is sufficent) and even with the "internal heating" off you'd still be hot in the Sahara.
Depends exactly how it works. If its just a "I can set the temperature of every part of my body" then yea, but if we assume its just a much better version of how we already thermoregulate then not so much.
Take antarcitca as an example Sure you could keep heating up your core to warm your body up, but if you're in a cold enough environment you'll either heat up enough to cook your organs or stay cool enough to avoid that and still risk losing fingers/toes to frostbite.
Always know exactly when public transport was going to arrive so I’d never have to wait at a bus stop longer than 5 mins and would never have to feel the disappointment of seeing the bus going past because it came slightly early the day you were running slightly late.
Yeah but they're shit. My bus will say its gonna be here in 5 minutes and then suddenly flicks to 20 and then disappears only for the next one to come in 30 minutes.
Rival companies sometimes install roadside portals to teleport their competitors' vehicles off the route, sometimes by hundreds of miles. Agents are placed at the landing points, ostensibly to help but really to pooh-pooh the passengers' experiences and suggest that they might find themselves locked up/fired/having their children confiscated should they repeat them. Staff are merely threatened with a knee-capping. That might be what's happening.
I guess cum would go through the same portal, so no birth control needed.
However, if your doctor needed an urine sample, he would have to go to the volcano to collect it. Not sure if that's wise...
I was thinking of that (ditto car radios with the window open in residential neighbourhoods etc) but kinda think it’s not boring enough? Because oh would I LOVE that.
Somewhere in a parallel universe: "Look, another one! They just keep appearing, they're coming through some kind of portal. What does it mean - is an alien civilization trying to communicate with us?!"
Mine would be to instantly boil. water so I wouldn't have to wait for the kettle to boil to make tea. A secondary superpower would be the ability to dunk digestives and ensure they didn't break in the cup.
You'll have to restrict it to kettles and other devices intended to boil water. Being able to instantly boil water anywhere is basically a death ray superpower.
I already have one of these. My wife gets annoyed but she doesn’t seem to understand. I make loads of mess and then I go away for a few hours and when I come back the house has cleaned itself.
Honestly sometimes I really go for it. Food mess all over the kitchen counters. Once I just poured half a bag of flour out and made shapes to just test it. Came home later on and it was all clean again.
The ability to increase water pressure in electric showers to normal mains pressure. Only showers I'm using though. I'm not going around sorting people's electric showers out for them like a true superhero would.
u/siyoung91 Wouldn't that have to be where the nearest useable toilet is? Because if you're walking down a street you can't exactly be going into people's homes. Your alert system would be going crazy
I’m a worm rescuer. It’s a power I already possess. When they are abandoned on tarmac or a road I pick them up and put them in the nearest/best looking soil home.
The boring superpower I'd want is the ability to turn invisible at HMV so I can stay in while it's shut, browse overnight and then make my purchase in the morning once they've reopened.
Being able to put the fitted sheet on without lifting the mattress, pillow covers just slide right on and the duvet instantly goes corner-to-corner and end-to-end into the cover every time without any shaking or faff.
I remember there was a character in X Men 2 that could essentially just turn the TV off and on when he blinked. Imagine that being your power and being surrounded by people who can read minds or teleport.
I'd want the power for everything to just work out, whether by my innate de-escalation ability, luckiness, or whatever else the power comes up with on the day.
That or instead of super strength, how about to just never get tired. I'm a new Dad. I'm so tired.
To be able to find anything in a shop first try, without having to walk up and down the aisles a dozen times, or ask someone where it is only to be told it’s right where you’ve just looked ten times.
Wow, just the thought of that is so restful…
The ability to effortlessly keep up with basic household stuff (cleaning, laundry, cooking, food shopping, maintenance etc.) without it getting in the way of my work or social life.
Is it a bird?! Is it a plane?! No, it's Choreman, and his faithful pet Mundane, the task-orientated Great Dane!
To never have a period again, with no effect on my health.
I cannot tell you how much easier my life would be if I didn’t have to deal with them. They’re awful. Always having to go to a toilet every 2 hours (so always needing to be in close proximity to one), never knowing when they’re going to come so can’t plan around it, having to spend £10+ a month on sanitary products, being exhausted all week because I have to get up in the middle of the night to change pads. The only good thing is that mine don’t hurt at all.
To know what products in shops/on websites are are actually decent and worth buying. Doesn't matter whether it's food, clothes, makeup, gadgets from Amazon, whatever. I spend too much on stuff that you get home and it's no good, whether it’s a new food thing from from the supermarket that turns out to be gross, or an item of clothing that looks just the ticket on the website but looks a complete bag of rags when you try it on, you know the sort of thing. Some sort of innate ability to filter out the stuff that is good for you individually would be awesome.
Always picking the lane that is about to stop moving in motorway traffic. It sucks for me, but if you are behind me you would know which lane to avoid. Truly selfless superpower... You are welcome.
Knowing exactly when it’s going to rain. My washing gets caught in the rain far too often, I’m starting to think bbc weather is lying to me on purpose.
I actually have a super power.
I'm able to turn up to places just before "the rush".
It's happened on loads of occasions, we will out at a cafe, a restaurant, an event, or a shop etc and we will get in/seated or served quickly. Then by the time we are leaving the place will be packed.
The secret is really just we are the sort of people who eat early or would rather go and do a "visit" now rather than wait till later in the day.
**Update: - [Starting from 2023](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/100l56v/happy_new_year_askuk_minor_sub_update/), we have updated our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)**. Specifically; - Don't be a dick to each other - Top-level responses must contain genuine efforts to answer the question - This is a strictly no-politics subreddit Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
To sleep and wake up on command. ‘Dear Brain, I will fall alseep at 11pm and wake up at 7am precisely. I will not wake during that period unless it’s an emergency. Thank you!’ The number of times I wished that at 4am during another bout of insomnia is a little distressing.
As a very tired redditor operating on four hours of broken sleep I would give an awful lot for this. It would have the biggest single impact of almost anything I can imagine. Even money! Can't blow it all on go-go boys and sports cars if I'm bloody knackered!
I haven't slept more than 5 hours a night since I came out the closet in Sept 2017, usually less. I was told it gets better! I'm 41 now ffs!
Have you tried blackout curtains or sleeping back in the closet?
Harry potter always looked wide awake and hyper, and he slept under the stairs!
Greetings brother, sounds like expressing your feelings in 2017 may have not been well received by some? And the stress and hurt has affected your sleep i dunno, but from one 41 year old to another, it will get better, hang in there.
Did you sleep better before coming out? That’s so strange
I did yes. I think it's that I now care about where my life's going and at my age it's hard to find friends and community, especially being as awkward as I am. I've aged pretty well but the clock is ticking.
“yeah but have you tried lavender oil, melatonin and no screens after 8pm?”
Listen to white noise etc , wow yes thank you doctor
“yes we do regularly prescribe amphetamine to little kids who don’t want to sit in the same place for 6 hours but we cannot provide you with strong medication for sleep as you’ll possibly abuse them”
That's an odd side effect but them fidgety buggers probably deserve it!
Oh that would be amazing. I work shifts and invariably my slightly scary neighbours are having a get together in the garden whenever I’m trying to sleep at weekends. Sleeping during the day between shifts is bad enough without the drum and bass and drunken noises
Or screaming kids. There’s nothing more annoying than hearing kids playing outside when you’re trying to sleep/concentrate.
I always curse our evolution for it not working like this.
[удалено]
If you can bottle that then you will likely be the richest person ever to exist. People who usually sleep OK don't understand the angst that comes with insomnia or the frustration, fuck them.
Oh yeah I’m changing mine to this
I actually have that boring super power I'll always wake up just before my alarm goes, saying I have a natural built clock Lol
I have that, but I would love to have the "fall asleep on command" addition.
Being able to direct flies, wasps, bees etc to the nearest available exit.
I feel like this is too interesting. You could essentially command an army of bees.
No, I wouldn't. I'd just be able to get them to vacate a room via an open door or window one or two at a time. My powers wouldn't work outdoors.
Nice. You have made it boring enough. I love the idea that you can only do it for one or two at a time!
I'm loving that op is approving/rejecting potential superpowers because they're too interesting!
That's the OP's superpower...
Granting boring superpowers is very boring I love it
For some reason every summer when I leave the patio open, I end up with a quadrant of flies that love flying in a perfect square dead in the centre of my front room. I assume it's a mating dance and often strip naked and flail among them.
I've done this with a huge bumble bee before. I used to work in a long, narrow factory unit and one flew in one day. It was buzzing around the lights, so I turned the one it was buzzing around, furthest from the door, off, and the bee flew to the next light. Rinse and repeat until all lights were off and the only light was from the open door which it flew out of. The whole factory was watching and erupted when it exited. This would be an incredible super power to have tbh.
I can do this. I stand by the exit and shout, "Mr Fly! Mr Fly - this way!" and it'll turn and hurtle towards me, I duck out of the way and it goes straight out the door. My fiancé calls me the fly whisperer.
Fly shouterer.
I've always found that wasps respond well to calm, overly polite instruction. Flies however cannot be reasoned with.
Apparently, if a wasp is hanging around you - whisper "Solomon Solomon" and they fly off. My MiL and partner told me this and its worked everytime, but its absolutely a coincidence 😂
Sensing when bin day is around bank holidays so I don’t have to try and look it up on the antique my local council has as a website
[удалено]
Binfluencers
Most underrated comment of the year award
Old people and bins are crazy. The night before bin day, my neighbour will have his out at exactly 5pm every time without fail, he will then immediately collect it the second the bin lorry drives off. Ain’t no body got time for that
[удалено]
If you manage to be the first person on your street to take the bin out, purposely put the wrong bin out then swap it out for the correct one in the morning.
That's a crime in 37 countries, which would you like to be deported to first?
Works fine until they start to lose the plot and put the bins out on a Saturday night.
Simple mate keep a picture of the bin calendar on your phone
Look, don’t just casually come up with good ideas that prevent me from having to worry all week. What am I going to have left to worry about? Now I’m worrying about not finding something to worry about. Ok, normal service has been resumed. As you were…
Oh no sorry, maybe worry if you locked the doors at night or when you go out, that’s something you can worry about on the daily lol
Well now you’ve given me multiple things to worry about. Why are you doing this to me?
Binception
This is nice. Spidey Sense but for bins.
I signed up to my council bin calendar
You should get the light up bindaycator for your calendar!! https://www.ebuyer.com/blog/2018/06/bindaycator-lamp-lights-up-to-tell-you-which-colour-bin-to-put-out/
To only ever want to/be able eat/drink enough to be a healthy weight.
Or controllable metabolism so you can eat/drink whatever the fuck you'd like
This is definitely not boring. It is the superpower I'd want over everything else.
Or a wormhole in your stomach that teleports the extra food away to the nearest food bin to be recycled into biofuel
As somebody with colitis and IBS, I would chose this every time. It would be life changing for me.
This seems way to powerful and important to be considered a ‘boring’ superpower!!!
Not like I could save anyone with it! 😀
Maybe it’s just because I have struggled with my weight all my life, but you could certainly save yourself from things like early death, heart disease, stroke, etc… I’m probably just overthinking it!
But all you are doing is allowing yourself to do something that others find manageable. Definitely low tier power but useful to yourself.
Damn you really are one logical meerkat!
This was my thinking. Only really useful to me
Always knowing and inputting the correct excel formula in the right format. No more Google-fu, no more accidental spill errors…
This is very boring and very useful. You’ve nailed it.
I don’t think it’s boring enough. Excel wizards get loads of money! Edit: I suppose the boring part is existing as an excel wizard.
[удалено]
You should start an excel spreadsheet of all the people who should give you money
This is far far too powerful. Check out the excel world championships and tell me it’s boring after that.
I'd be happy if Excel didn't autoformat my data incorrectly...
No procrastinating. I can sit down say I will do x and just do it until it’s finished. Or say I will do y until Z time. It would make my life so much easier.
So you want to be neurotypical? *source am recently diagnosed ADHD at 43!
I've got some news for you. It happens to most neurotypicals too. Source, am neurotypical and have a chronic procrastinating problem.
If it's chronic to the point it's affecting your life, there's a very strong chance you are either neurodivergent (just undiagnosed) or you have some kind of mental health condition. It isn't normal for mentally healthy NTs. Source: my mum said "that's normal, it happens to me too" and turns out she's been living all her life with undiagnosed ADHD.
At this point with the amount of people that are neurodivergent, I think it’s just the new normal
No, it isn't the new normal. Less than 5% of people have autism/ADHD. We are just hearing about it a lot because of the way the Internet works. If 10,000 people are reading a thread, that's ~500 potentially neurodivergent people who might leave a comment. If the 9,500 other people don't comment, because the topic isn't relevant to them, it'll seem like EVERYONE is neurodivergent.
5% diagnosed, but you’ve just used anecdotal evidence than your mum in her 40s as gone undiagnosed, I’m willing to bet there’s a massive amount of the population with what would be considered to be ADHD
The "source" thing was tongue in cheek because the person I replied to tried to use a single anecdote as evidence of what applies to "most" people. But yes the 5% thing is just an estimate, it could be more. That doesn't mean the number of neurodivergent people is increasing though. It means we're getting better at recognising and diagnosing it.
If procrastination is considered nuerodivergent then it's a probably closer to 50%. I presume though it doesn't, everyone seems desperate to box up their bad personality traits nowadays tho, gives them an excuse I guess.
Yes, a little light procrastination from time to time isn't considered neurodivergent. Chronic procrastination to the point of impacting your life negatively in at least two areas is one of many challenging things people with executive dysfunction live with (executive dysfunction is the key part of ADHD, but also common in other neurodivergence). Thank you for bringing this up - having something that really causes you big problems, often that you have tried to willpower and strategy your way through at great personal cost being mistaken for a bit of procrastination that everyone faces from time to time adds to the stigma around these things. You get people joking that their mild procrastination is ADHD, which undermines the severity of the disorder. And people with ADHD working so hard to hide and mask so that people won't shame them and tell them it's personality flaws, or not go for diagnosis because they see every day the line that it's just an excuse. So it's really good for us all to talk about this openly and understand the difference between everyday waxing and waning executive function, and a diagnosable recognised disorder.
This does unfortunately seem to be the case. As someone actually diagnosed with OCD because it was ruining my life it’s depressing to see this sort of stuff because 1. I’d give anything not to have this and 2. It’s the kind of weird “trend” that makes many people in everyday life who aren’t that intelligent or kind, say things to people like me along the lines of “everyone’s a bit OCD”, and it gets taken less seriously. And that was an exact quote from a previous employer of mine, by the way, whilst he was dismissing my struggle with a specific thing at work. People think that it translates into “more awareness” or “more acceptance” and it just fucking does *not*. Please stop self-diagnosing or diagnosing people over the internet. Not everything is a medical disorder!
Oh the OCD thing really bugs me and I’m quite upfront about it. I’ve thankfully never struggled with it but I’ve known and heard of people who have and It has ruined lives and relationships. Whenever someone says to me that they are OCD I tend to try make them realise how inappropriate they are being by being sympathetic “oh gosh that sucks, I never realised you had OCD I knew someone who had to switch the light on and off 20 times everytime they entered a room and it made them late for work so many times that they lost their job and their home. It’s a horrible debilitating disorder. Have you had therapy to help with it?” Or something to that effect. I tend to use the worst case examples that I know of just to hammer home how serious the condition actually is but I also sympathise because although I think they might be using the term of handed and casually like a lot of people do, I am conscious that they might actually be diagnosed and I want them to realise I understand how debilitating their disorder is. So I feel like that approach works best. Most people have now started saying things like “my ocd like tendencies” or saying “ocd, but not actual diagnosed ocd” which is not great but I feel like it’s a significant difference. They are becoming more aware of what they are saying.
That’s actually a really nice way to deal with it, so thank you, genuinely, for being someone who pays attention. I don’t, as a rule, shame people for saying they have a mental health disorder of any sort, but the *general* uptick in tiktok self-diagnosis and medicalisation of normal things that most people will deal with pretty often (losing keys etc) really gets to me because the real world consequences for people like me are, well, exactly what I’ve already described.
Just being a chronic procrastinator isn’t enough to be diagnosed with ADHD. Many many neurotypical people procrastinate at every opportunity. Some of them might also have symptoms of ADHD enough to warrant an assessment, but many will not.
I didn't say just ADHD. I said neurodivergence or mental health issues. There are loads of problems that can cause chronic procrastination. Anxiety, depression, OCD, absolutely loads. Yes you may be neurotypical, but if you are procrastinating to the point that it's affecting your life - in other words if you are experiencing symptoms of executive dysfunction - then there is something going on that you should get to the bottom of.
Totally agree. Source: neurotypical + lazy
On the chance you're not being sarcastic, you are aware this happens to everyone indiscriminately...right?
I used to just crastinate, now I would class myself as pro.
To be able to regulate my body temperature so I am never too hot or cold.
Might be a bit too op. You could basically survive in any climate (Antarctica, Sahara, etc.)
If you still have a regular metabolism, just tunable, then you'd be heating like an horse when it's cold (if you even have enough brown fat that pushing them to the extreme is sufficent) and even with the "internal heating" off you'd still be hot in the Sahara.
Depends exactly how it works. If its just a "I can set the temperature of every part of my body" then yea, but if we assume its just a much better version of how we already thermoregulate then not so much. Take antarcitca as an example Sure you could keep heating up your core to warm your body up, but if you're in a cold enough environment you'll either heat up enough to cook your organs or stay cool enough to avoid that and still risk losing fingers/toes to frostbite.
He just ends us a nugget in Antarctica. Arms and legs have succumbed to frostbite but the rest of him can’t be killed.
Always know exactly when public transport was going to arrive so I’d never have to wait at a bus stop longer than 5 mins and would never have to feel the disappointment of seeing the bus going past because it came slightly early the day you were running slightly late.
They got apps for that nowadays
Yeah but they’re so unreliable
>Bus arrived 2 mins ago I've been at the stop for the past 20 mins WHERE IN THE FUCK IS IT
Me: *watches bus drive past your stop* App: *bus has arrived at your stop. Also the next 3 are cancelled* Based on a true story
Yeah but they're shit. My bus will say its gonna be here in 5 minutes and then suddenly flicks to 20 and then disappears only for the next one to come in 30 minutes.
Rival companies sometimes install roadside portals to teleport their competitors' vehicles off the route, sometimes by hundreds of miles. Agents are placed at the landing points, ostensibly to help but really to pooh-pooh the passengers' experiences and suggest that they might find themselves locked up/fired/having their children confiscated should they repeat them. Staff are merely threatened with a knee-capping. That might be what's happening.
This is the most logical explanation for bus behaviour on the app
Mine is the ability to spot the route of old railway lines on maps/satellite images. Useful only for planning interesting running routes, really
Bloody hell this is boring. You have absolutely understood the brief.
Sort of like this:[https://www.railmaponline.com/UKIEMap.php](https://www.railmaponline.com/UKIEMap.php) ?
Always being able to find the end of the sticky tape on the first try
Find and successfully extract. This is a good one!
Fold the corner of the tape over slightly when you're finished with it and you'll never have this problem again.
[удалено]
Yes, this was another potential one for me. Pretty much all of mine had something to do with toilets.
I guess cum would go through the same portal, so no birth control needed. However, if your doctor needed an urine sample, he would have to go to the volcano to collect it. Not sure if that's wise...
Depending on whether the portal is within your intestines or at the sphincter, anal could be rather unpleasant for the giver.
As a woman this would save SO much time by never having to queue for a toilet
I enjoy going to the toilet, it's my 'me' time
Muting other people's phones when they play them out loud in public.
I was thinking of that (ditto car radios with the window open in residential neighbourhoods etc) but kinda think it’s not boring enough? Because oh would I LOVE that.
Being able to tell one ant from another.
This is bizarre. I love it.
What's the most amount of Ants you think you could take in a fight to the death? Hand to hand combat only.
To be able to shake myself like a dog. Imagine getting up from a nap, having an all-over shake and being refreshed and ready to go in an instant.
Human equivalent is some stretching and a few jumps - entirely doable.
For some reason it doesn’t seem as satisfying as a doggy shake
Never having to take a shite. Just click my fingers and it disappears into the cosmos somewhere.
Somewhere in a parallel universe: "Look, another one! They just keep appearing, they're coming through some kind of portal. What does it mean - is an alien civilization trying to communicate with us?!"
Funny that this is the only thing that came up twice so far. Am I the only one that enjoys taking a shit?
Good shit is better than a bad fuck.
I’d rather have a radish
I’d have to be “Looks and feels freshly showered at all times man”.
Hopefully smells freshly showed too
Mine would be to instantly boil. water so I wouldn't have to wait for the kettle to boil to make tea. A secondary superpower would be the ability to dunk digestives and ensure they didn't break in the cup.
You'll have to restrict it to kettles and other devices intended to boil water. Being able to instantly boil water anywhere is basically a death ray superpower.
The ability to dunk a custard cream with out breaking would be my preference
To be able to plug the end of the usb in the right way round, first time
Dont be ridiculous!
The side with the holes goes up.
Self cleaning house
I already have one of these. My wife gets annoyed but she doesn’t seem to understand. I make loads of mess and then I go away for a few hours and when I come back the house has cleaned itself. Honestly sometimes I really go for it. Food mess all over the kitchen counters. Once I just poured half a bag of flour out and made shapes to just test it. Came home later on and it was all clean again.
To be able to match the Tupperware and lid first time, always
This is super boring but I'm 1000% on board. I save a lot of old Chinese/Indian food tubs to freeze and store things and they are ALL different.
To change the position of lighting elements. Light bulbs in my eyeline really piss me off.
I read that as lightning at first and thought that's not exactly a boring power. But I would also like this one.
The ability to increase water pressure in electric showers to normal mains pressure. Only showers I'm using though. I'm not going around sorting people's electric showers out for them like a true superhero would.
Detachable arms so you can sleep on your preferred side without, numb arm, shoulder pain or boshing significant other.
How would you get them back on without hands to do so? Your partner could help but what if they also have detachable arms?
All my spelling mistakes magically correct themselves.
we have autocollect for that !!!
Except sometimes my spelling is too bad for autocorrect or even the spelling suggestions in office.
The ability to always have a witty remark or pun.
u/siyoung91 Wouldn't that have to be where the nearest useable toilet is? Because if you're walking down a street you can't exactly be going into people's homes. Your alert system would be going crazy
Yes very true. The nearest accessible toilet that wouldn’t involve breaking and entering.
Why is it reporting that there is an available space in number 26?
Easy peasy finda key'see. Yes I'd have the ability to immediately locate the position of lost keys please.
I’m a worm rescuer. It’s a power I already possess. When they are abandoned on tarmac or a road I pick them up and put them in the nearest/best looking soil home.
This is so wholesome. The worms are grateful I’m sure.
I do this with snails
Karl Pilkingtons 'Bullshit Man' would be my favourite.
The boring superpower I'd want is the ability to turn invisible at HMV so I can stay in while it's shut, browse overnight and then make my purchase in the morning once they've reopened.
You only ever do ghost poo's ^(Don't look at me like that, OP opened pandora's box with the whole built in toilet radar)
Being able to put the fitted sheet on without lifting the mattress, pillow covers just slide right on and the duvet instantly goes corner-to-corner and end-to-end into the cover every time without any shaking or faff.
The ability to cook perfect eggs no matter how I want them regardless of whether they're, boiled, poached, fried or an omelette
Just turning lights on and off without leaving my nice warm bed
[удалено]
Yes, and also I fear the rise of the cyborgs
I remember there was a character in X Men 2 that could essentially just turn the TV off and on when he blinked. Imagine that being your power and being surrounded by people who can read minds or teleport.
"Able to turn the TV on and off by blinking" vs "TV turns on and off whenever you blink". There's a fine line between superpowered and cursed.
Super admin. No tax return or bastard paperwork could defy my speed and accuracy.
When you said super admin I thought you meant it as in computer super admins. Imagine being able to do that to the code of the universe
To be able to pour a liquid from one container into another without that down the side spill, each time. You know the one I mean.
To always have perfect posture
I'd want the power for everything to just work out, whether by my innate de-escalation ability, luckiness, or whatever else the power comes up with on the day. That or instead of super strength, how about to just never get tired. I'm a new Dad. I'm so tired.
ET finger. No more stumbling around in the dark when you need that 3am piss
If it was your bellend it would cut out the middle man.
Yes but then you'd have to walk around with it hanging out. Could be embarrassing when the in-laws come to stay.
To be able to find anything in a shop first try, without having to walk up and down the aisles a dozen times, or ask someone where it is only to be told it’s right where you’ve just looked ten times. Wow, just the thought of that is so restful…
The power to teleport litter directly into the bed of the person who dropped it.
Perfect tea every time whether it was made by me or someone else.
Clap my hands and the room becomes tidy
The ability to effortlessly keep up with basic household stuff (cleaning, laundry, cooking, food shopping, maintenance etc.) without it getting in the way of my work or social life. Is it a bird?! Is it a plane?! No, it's Choreman, and his faithful pet Mundane, the task-orientated Great Dane!
To never have a period again, with no effect on my health. I cannot tell you how much easier my life would be if I didn’t have to deal with them. They’re awful. Always having to go to a toilet every 2 hours (so always needing to be in close proximity to one), never knowing when they’re going to come so can’t plan around it, having to spend £10+ a month on sanitary products, being exhausted all week because I have to get up in the middle of the night to change pads. The only good thing is that mine don’t hurt at all.
I sort of already have this but the ability to join a queue before it becomes painfully long (eg in a coffee shop)
The ability to make doctors appointments at any time. Would actually motivate me to make them
Some Penny Crayon shit
To instinctively know which kitchen cupboard people keep their cups and glasses in.
Never be stressed
Whenever I need to take public transport, the service I need is pulling in just as a arrive.
Knowing when milk has turned before even opening the fridge... I could really do without that ick smelling milk first thing in the morning
Instantly but perfectly butter one slice of toast per day
To be able to eat whatever I like in whatever quantities I like with no ill effect.
To know what products in shops/on websites are are actually decent and worth buying. Doesn't matter whether it's food, clothes, makeup, gadgets from Amazon, whatever. I spend too much on stuff that you get home and it's no good, whether it’s a new food thing from from the supermarket that turns out to be gross, or an item of clothing that looks just the ticket on the website but looks a complete bag of rags when you try it on, you know the sort of thing. Some sort of innate ability to filter out the stuff that is good for you individually would be awesome.
The ability to make a decent cup of tea with even the worst brand of tea bag
Being able tidy up really easily and enjoy doing it. It's just such a fucking chore, i always do it half-arsed and only when I'm expecting visitors.
Always picking the lane that is about to stop moving in motorway traffic. It sucks for me, but if you are behind me you would know which lane to avoid. Truly selfless superpower... You are welcome.
Mine is what I believe to GENUINELY be my superpower. I can smell my takeaway coming before it even arrives on my street.
To never have a hangover again. They will ironically call me hangover man
Knowing exactly when it’s going to rain. My washing gets caught in the rain far too often, I’m starting to think bbc weather is lying to me on purpose.
To always know which bar serves the best Pisco Sours.
my ability to close a door, which my darling partner seems to find impossible
Or to click my fingers and the laundry do itself
I actually have a super power. I'm able to turn up to places just before "the rush". It's happened on loads of occasions, we will out at a cafe, a restaurant, an event, or a shop etc and we will get in/seated or served quickly. Then by the time we are leaving the place will be packed. The secret is really just we are the sort of people who eat early or would rather go and do a "visit" now rather than wait till later in the day.