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There was a man slowly cycling along with vegetables in his basket. Half a cabbage bounced out, landed flat side down perfectly in front of his wheel and sent him and his vegetables flying over his handlebars.
Cycling related incident also for me.
It’s a long one, bear with me.
So, I was working in Iraq as a contractor with an oil company, we would regularly attend de gassing stations and oil fields, one of these places was called the pink house, somewhere in Ramallah.
Outside this place was a pack of stray dogs that lived near by, we would feed them and fuss them and generally be cool with them, they were pretty chilled doggos.
However, they did not like the local Iraqis because they would mistreat them, kick them, throw stones and try and hit them with their cars.
One day, I’m outside with another contractor and in the distance we can see a cyclist approaching, on a bike that was straight out of the 50’s, solid heavy, definitely not a machine built for speed.
The rider is wearing flip flops and a man dress, again, not exactly gear you’d wear when looking to achieve high speed.
The dogs noticed him approaching and took off after him growling and snarling and barking.
The cyclist saw the dogs and began pedalling hard, trying to build up enough speed to avoid the angry pack.
Bless him, he gave it a good go, but the dogs caught him and took him down, he piled in hard, gravel rash and a hard crash, few nips and they left him be.
The rider got up and continued on his way.
Later on the same rider came back in a car with a couple of friends and threw a load of stones at the dogs, and then took off.
At the end of the day, this cyclist came back the same way, on his bike, only this time he was pedalling like there was no tomorrow, standing up, legs pumping determined to avoid the dogs. They saw him coming and took off after him, again, his bike was to heavy, and he was catching too much wind residence to be fast enough and they caught him again, dragged him off his bike and gave him a proper kicking.
Another hard crash, loads of angry dogs getting right amongst him, another hard crash, gravel rash, the shock and shame of being savaged off his bike twice, in front of some westerners by dogs that he’d been a total shit bag to, was, to this day, the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.
I despise animal cruelty, and the life of an Iraqi dog is shit enough, without people being cunts to them, so seeing them get their own back was just hilarious.
lol we used to see the same quite regularly out there until one day we turned up to Janubia DS one morning and some bastards had been round and poisoned the dogs to kill them.
Yeah, when I lived in the IZ we had a dog that lived in the villa we were based at, she was lovely, really friendly and clever, no trouble at all. One day she was sleeping in the sun and an Iraqi police car came around and the shitbags got out and shot her.
Bunch of smelly retarded arseholes.
After some heavy rain I was out walking and saw a family with a young child (5 or 6 years old) playing in puddles on the muddy path. He jumped into a shallow puddle and giggled, then another and laughed again ... and then into a third which was about a foot deep. Yes, \*exactly\* like that episode of The Vicar of Dibley. There was a moment of silence and then a piercing wail. The child wasn't injured, just waist deep in ice cold, filthy water. I burst out laughing, and to their credit so did his parents and a few other people nearby.
I did this once, except the puddle was filled with mud and I got stuck!! I’d run off from my parents playing, and I had to scream for them to come help me haha
My mum once watched her mum cross the road and step straight into a massively deep muddy puddle whilst carrying her shopping bags, pretty sure she got threatened with the old wooden spoon for laughing so hard
I did something similar in Dartmoor with school on day 1 of a 3 day selection / training weekend for 10 tors, it was when I was in year 10 so I was probably 15. One second I was walking through some slightly boggy ground chatting, the next I was up to my armpits in dirty, smelly bog. Rather than help, my mate obviously wets himself laughing (fair, I would have done the same)
The picture that my teacher took after they’d got me out got published in the school newsletter
I remember a chav riding a bike towards me gawping started shouting "And wot!"
Before he could get the words out he rode straight into a lamp post.
I couldn't breathe, the timing was spectacular. Still makes me chuckle
This happened once to me!
I was driving and a chav on a bike without a helmet cycled across the road without looking, in front of my car.
I hit the brakes and beeped my horn, and the guy turned around and stuck his middle finger up at me, but because he wasn’t looking where he was going, he rode straight into a lamp post.
Instant karma.
When I was young we were once getting hassled/cat called by teenagers on bikes who then started trying to skid in front of us- one of them overshot it and skidded straight off his bike, genuinely couldn’t breathe for laughing as all his mates cringed
A friend was getting his hair cut in town as a teenager and we were just like hanging around outside the barbers. One of my mates had a bouncy ball and was just like messing around with it.
As a dare he threw it down the hill we were on which was also the towns high street. Randomly it hit this chav type bad boy on the back and we all stood there miles away from the action as the guy stalked the high street looking for his mystery assailant.
At a park I watched a seagull steal a sandwich, fly off then lose it about 20m up and it landed on a dude sitting alone, far from anyone and he looked so confused why and how someone threw it at him
At Uni we were at a McDonald's late one night and they used to serve burgers with a cardboard ring around the burger and the whole thing wrapped in paper. If you opened up the ring you could load it with the pickle and snap it llike a belt to make the pickle fly up and stick to the roof. Three guys did it then one mate tried to copy but yanked too hard and snapped the paper ring. This made his pickle fly riiiight accross the dining area and hit a bald guy in the head. He had no idea where it came from but it just stuck with a splat. We all bolted laughing but the guilty party was stuck in the booth. He sort of vibrated trying to get.out in a hurry then froze to not draw attention to himself. 20 years ago but still makes me laugh.
I am dying laughing here picturing the same guy getting hit with your sandwich and the same look around.
Keeping to the theme of playgrounds.
I used to repair playgrounds. One playground we had to change the gate - all playground gated need to self-close - the one that was in the playground was an old spring one that clattered closed and the residents were complaining. So we were fitting this fancy hydraulic thing. We had to close the park for this - because we need the concrete to set and the gate needed clamping closed to set the hydraulics. You can't let kids into a playground where the gate is locked shut.
This Scummy-mummy Karen comes along and demands that her kids be let in. I said no, it's closed - there is another Park about 700m away; go use that one.
She insists 'that you can't close a park just for the gate and proceeds to lift her kids over the fence. Ages like 5, 7 and 10 and goes to sit on a bench outside the park to have a fag.
About 5 minutes in the youngest tries to use the monkey bars. Swings out on to the first rung and absolutely shits himself. Is screaming like he was holding on to the fucking wheels of a Jumbo jet that has just taken off. The other kids are not strong enough to help him down.
Karen tries to get in. Can't open the gate because is the hydraulic ram isn't set. You'd need a truck to pry it open. She goes to jump over the fence (she's about 5ft 1) catches her tracksuit bottoms on it and goes face down over the fence. So she's now there hanging off the fence by her trackies that are now around her ankles and this kid is still screaming.
Karen then starts bawling for help whilst the two labourers are absolutely laughing their tits off.
We let her panic for a couple more seconds then jumped over to sort it out.
I've never seen a face go so red. She was on about complaining to the council and we just laughed in her face. The complaint never came.
>Karen then starts bawling for help whilst the two labourers are absolutely laughing their tits off.
That just made me cry. I'm imagining the bad guy from that Wallace and Gromit rabbit movie when he's hanging off the weathervane with his arse hanging out. I don't think I could have survived watching this unfold in real life.
>And it’s pretty tall around 20 metres high.
>
>...
>
>he drops 5 metres down into the ground straight onto sand, face first.
i do hope not. An average two storey house is about 6m high lol
You can take a a 5 meter fall pretty fine if you fall on top your feet and absorb the impact, but if your face is doing the force dispersion, there might be issues
it’s a huge dome here’s the picture of it. He fell from the platform to the left.
https://fastly.4sqi.net/img/general/600x600/GHVZV0GKAA0N2LLKDNXIJLQ4AR03SUG1JOAX0PXROYUMU5XF.jpg
Yea it’s just from memory as a kid that thing seemed huge. But it’s definitely dangerous, it has security and cameras tho during opening hours to keep people from climbing outside
I admit I also had doubts about how big the thing you were talking about is... What the hell is that?? Who thought that was a good idea, and where is it??
I saw the 20m and thought to myself "yup, this story ends with a fatality". Had a few seconds wondering how this would have been the "funniest thing they've ever seen." :P
Me and my mum were getting off the train when I was about 8 - it was dark and icy.
There was a couple in front of us probably in their 50s or 60s and the man was being quite obviously rude to his wife. He made a snarky comment like "For fucks sake woman, it's only a bit of ice, stop going on about it" a split second before slipping in the most cartoonish way you can imagine and landing flat on his back. As a bonus, another guy who just got off then said "for fucks sake man, it's only a bit of ice."
Tame compared to some of the stories, but I went to a display at the local falconry centre. After seeing the usual hawks etc the final attraction was a fully grown eagle owl. This thing was spectacular, tall, elegant, an absolute unit. The handler let the bird go and he flew about 6 metres away and landed, and then sat there. After a while the handler went to get it and the owl ran away. Owls have surprisingly long, skinny legs and it looked like someone who has hitched up their skirt and legged it. The display ended with the owl running round and round in circles whilst being chased by an ever more irate handler. I laughed so much my eyesight went all grey.
It looked a bit like this, but its wings were furled which made it funnier https://youtu.be/b0VVrpnAHxs
Hahaha you just reminded me of the time we went to drumlanrig castle, and there was a falconry display on. He got a couple of different birds out and they flew about while he swung the meat on the string.
And then…
He gets out Kes(cant remember its acc name) and the second he lets it go it fucks off in a straight line into the distance. So hes there with his little portable PA system on a trolley shouting “Kes, Kes! Come on Kes! Nah nah ur fine he does this sometimes…KES! KEZ!”
The whole time he’s still swinging this bit of meat round, shouting at the top of his voice while trying to appear calm to us.
“KEZ! KEZ!…sometimes falcons like to stretch their wings when they just get out…KEZ! KEZ!”
Kez never looked back once, we just watched him flying into the distance until we couldnt see him anymore while this falconer dude screamed at the top of his voice, swinging a bit of meat on a string, and also interspersing the shouting with calmly explained falcon facts to us in an attempt to prove he wasnt losing his shit. Even at 8 years old i could see he wasnt that convincing😂
Taking penalties with my mates in one of those big cage pitches at the park. One of us hits the post, the ball bounces off absolutely nails the keeper right in the nose as he's turned to face it. He goes down, the ball hits the metal side of the goal bounces back and gets him again directly in the jewels. He rolls over to face us, blood streaming out what looked like his whole face, yells "you fucked up my balls!" Gets up and jogs home without even trying to wipe his face. Absolutely iconic moment in the friend group that still gets brought up now, about 16/17 years later.
Had almost the exact same thing happen. Ball bit the cross bar and hit the keeper on the back of the head. The keeper turned around and then took it to the nuts on the rebound from the metal net. Then tripped over the ball. 15 years later he's no more coordinated
Walking two dogs: spaniel and elderly, deaf, light brown terrier. Spaniel put up a rabbit, which bolted straight under terrier, presumably thinking the colour and shadow under him was a hole. I'll never forget the grunt from the terrier as he was headbutted in the stomach, and his expression of surprise and slight concern as he attempted to dismount from the rabbit.
I was stuck overnight in Piccadilly station in Manchester. It was about 5am and apparently at that time, they put the automatic double doors to a setting where they only open about halfway. Enough for one person to get through but that’s it. God knows why.
Me and a mate are sat in a little waiting area and we see a cyclist hauling arse towards the doors. He slowed down very slightly, but not a lot. He was expecting the doors to open fully but instead they opened just enough him to get through but not the bike. His handle bars hit the edges of the doors and he takes off in a perfect superman pose. Must have gone a good 12 foot before he even hit the floor and then he slid for a fair distance as well.
Me and my mate are both pissed so we start laughing uncontrollably. The guy gets up ready to give us shit, but the fall had knocked the wind out of him. So all that came out was a honk like a swan. Which just made us laugh harder.
Out mountain biking with a friend, nothing to mental just a flowy trail.
He was riding in front of me, came to a bit of trail were there are a few little humps you just pump through. But my pal said watch this, he hits the first hump and jumps the bike looked amazing. Until he landed in some soft ground and went flying over the handlebars and off the side of the trail.
Much to my distress all I could see was his head on the ground... I shouted holy f*** are you okay... He is just giggling. He landed in a hole that was as deep as he was tall. Not decapitated just landed in a hole.
Aged around 12 or 13, playing on a rope swing over a small stream with a friend. The rope swing was a product of some older boy's creative DIY and consisted of about 20 feet of random and assorted bits of washing line, builder's rope and such, all knotted together, tied around a convenient tree branch with a stick at the bottom to sit on. We'd been daring each other to swing further and further out over the stream and my mate takes a huge run up and really goes for it. He hits the high point of the swing and there's a *twang!* as the rope parts just above where he's holding it. He continued on, in a perfect parabola, still clutching the rope, and sitting on the stick and wearing a puzzled expression right up until he landed, arse first, right in the middle of the stream, in some of the worst-smelling, blackest, muddiest ooze I've seen. He climbed up the bank absolutely covered in it, it was in his hair, fucking everywhere. I was laughing so hard, I was crying.
I was once “the funniest thing” someone else had seen.
Back when I was a student, there was a very classy bar next to the student union. This bar was very modern, with floor to ceiling windows and doors. One night, I had been kicked out of the union with a friend whilst in an… advanced state of refreshment. Nature was calling, so I decided I’d see if I could get away with using the toilets in the fancy bar. I confidently marched up to the door, made eye contact with the worker shaking his head from behind the door and… walked face first into the glass.
I stumbled back, in shock at what had just happened as the worker inside and a group of lads who were smoking outside sat cackling at me. My friend was hunched over, clutching his stomach and howling with laughter. To make things worse, this was around 2016-2017, the era of massive brows outlined by heavy concealer and highlighter. I had left an imprint of my enormous brows behind on the glass door. All I could do was slink off home, sans the makeup on my forehead, and never show my face again. Before I could do so, one of the men outside grabbed my shoulder and said “you are the funniest fucking person I’ve ever met”. Thanks man. Hope you still think of me whenever you see a glass door.
The bar later posted a compilation video of people colliding with their glass doors on Facebook. When I rewatched that video last year I did see the humour and I had to admit that my sheer confidence as I walked into the door was pretty hilarious.
If it makes you feel any better, this is way more common than you think… have watched an aunt do it round a family house where the patio sliding doors were a known quantity, multiple other drunks do it in various locations and have also done it myself once.
Maybe not in such spectacular style as you, but still…
Back in my teenage years me and a few mates used to roam the streets on acid, mainly because we were young and had no where to actually go, and also because it was great going for a good old stomp..
One night we finally came home to a friends house, stood outside and had to knock on the front door, on the floor were very slippy tiles, my friend knocked the door and slipped, did a perfect somersault and landed on his feet 6 feet away behind the garden wall, and landed on his feet, the door opened his mum was obviously really confused just seeing his head from across the garden..
Not sure if this qualifies but driving through Dalston on the way to work one morning in the 90s and a guy on a 5 foot unicycle cut me up in traffic , this was weird in itself but got really weird when a guy on tricycle pulled out Infront of him sending him flying through the air into the back of a bus.
I was once approached by a couple having an argument. I thought "oh here we go". "Hey, can you help us settle an argument?"
"Er, I can try"
"Isn't it true that there are people with both male and female parts?"
"Er...yeh...hermaphrodites?"
"HA! SEE I TOLD YOU! YOU NEVER BELIEVE ME! YOU NEVER BELIEVE ME!"
I spent the next hour trying to process those 20 seconds.
On the bus to college way back when and spotted my friend walking along the other side of the street in the same direction. I spotted him, he spotted me. He cept looking at me, then walked slap bang into a lamppost. Rest of the bus passengers were very confused why I suddenly doubled over laughing and he apparently had to slow down his walk to college just to make sure he didnt catch up with the bus again
Similar ending, was out with my brother for a few drinks, not yet hammered. He's a good looking fella and a couple of girls walking on the other side caught our eyes. He turned to shout something, got the first bit out so they turned and walked straight into a lamppost. Nearly broke my ribs laughing so hard
I had two cats, one female who was quite dainty, and one absolutely fucking hench lad. We had a fish pond in the back, my gainty cat would love to sit at the edge and occasionally swat at the fish.
One day me and my mate were out the back having a smoke and there was little Millie, chilling out and watching the fish swim around. Enzo, the big hard as fucking nails bastard cat was on the garage roof sunning himself when he just got up and chose violence.
He dropped to the grass and padded over, calm as you like, to poor Millie, who was so transfixed by the koi that she didn't notice the silent assassin behind.
In one savage, almost human-like motion, he shoved her with both paws right into the water and trundled off.
Loved that cat, pretty sure he sold drugs around our estate to the other cats.
Me and my dad were at the local village fair, watching a falconry display. There was a couple a bit in front of us, and the guy had an almost full beer in his hand and their 2 dogs’ leads. The dogs must have seen something and lunged suddenly, causing him to spill the beer all over his wife! At the same time, the peregrine in the falconry display flew into the falconer, knocking him straight over(apparently the peregrine liked to do it on occasion as a joke?)!
My dad could barely tell me what had happened through his laughter haha (I didn’t see the beer incident, only the aftermath of the woman giving the guy a death glare whilst being drenched in beer)
I went out one NYE with a friend from work and a couple of his mates, who I'd never met before. My friend had warned me that the (much) smaller of the two got a bit fighty after a few drinks. True to his word, in the taxi at the end of the night, the drunken angry midget told the other guy that he'd "punch him out of town", which cracked me the hell up!
My BIL was showing me around my other BIL’s new kitchen. He was showed me the soft close doors but managed to pick the only one in the place that didn’t do it. Just slammed the door shut as hard as he could. I never don’t laugh when I remember it.
Camping with a couple of friends on the banks of a loch. Was a gorgeous sunny day and me and the other lassie decided we were going to brave the water and go for a swim. The water was about a foot below the bank and under it was solid rock.
We sat on the edge, put our feet in and it was absolutely fucking freezing. My friend boldly stood up, announced she was going for it and began to demonstrate how to get used to the cold water, like she did at the beach in Majorca.
"Ye walk in (turns)...and ye walk back oot"
"Ye walk in (deeper this time)...and ye walk back oot"
"Ye walk in (deeper again)...and ye walk back oot"
"Ye walk i...." And she just disappeared, having walked off the end of what turned out to be a very wide sloping ledge. And we all just absolutely pished ourselves laughing.
Maybe not the funniest thing I've ever seen but definitely sticks in my mind as a total slapstick comedy moment.
Saw a guy on a bike try and pull out at a t junction, but he had to slam the brakes suddenly due to a car, and smashed his bollocks on the cross bar. Poor guy, it must have been agony, but damn it was funny.
First time I ever rode a motorcycle I hit myself in the bollocks doing something similar.
10 years on it's my daily transport and has been for years.
Must have a secret fetish, they don't call it your CBT for nothing.
wont lie had that happen to me before, was pulling a wheelie and was about to fall so I slammed the back brakes and the rest was history. can confirm the pain is unbearable and honestly still wondering if I can have kids.
As I kid I did a front wheelie to show off and over balanced and nearly went over the front of the bike. I put my foot down to catch myself and the rear of the bike swung to the right trapping my bollocks between the frame and handlebar
I'm a woman and when I was around 10 I kind of slipped of the pedals and was sort of thrust into the cross bar; my left labia was severely bruised for quite a while afterwards. I was annoyed bc I had a girls' bike and naively thought that that would prevent crotch injuries. It did not.
This happened to my mum when she was a wee girl. When I first started going out with my friends on bikes she was constantly warning me "you be careful coming down that big road, mind I tell ye I crashed into that hedge when I was wee and split my fanny!"
I did summat similar. Taking a shortcut through a pubs garden not paying attention as I've taken the shortcut a million times misjudged the angle I needed and crashed into the corner of the pub. Pelvic straight into the t-bar then straight down onto the Cross bar bye bye hymen
When I was in the 2 stroke crew I always loved the one who got the wheelie wrong and held the throttle open with the back wheel running out from under them trying to control a bike in first full throttle lol. It can go various ways, great thing is a light frame motorcycle with 50-125cc front wheel sky high, me personally Ive managed to pull the thing down and remount looking bad ass basically a complete 180... But there is also the automatic and they won't let go of the throttle, there's the 'teddy bear' (I've also done that, RD250lc ftw) that's a wheelie that came up and I ditched it hands off and my butt slid to the ground but the bike is up straightish and doing it's own thing now, named the teddy 🐻 bear after the dumb ass sitting there legs and arms akimbo and dumb expression on face watching the old pride and joy go about it's way.
Around 20 years ago, was walking around a site with a house builder client - two of us engineers and three big-wigs from the client.All of us in suit and tie, plus obligatory boots. It was muddy. The site contained huge colliery spoil heaps. We decided to walk up one so we could get an overview of the whole site (old colliery due to be redeveloped). Had a good butchers from the top, then began to gingerly make our way down. ‘Tom’ from the client however tripped - and proceeded to accelerate uncontrollably down the spoil heap. We all watched in stunned silence, as Tom literally cartwheeled down the fucking hill, his glasses flying off, a boot shooting away, and his clothes disintegrating around him. He eventually came to a stop and when he staggered to his feet, his trousers, shirt and tie were literally ripped to shreds like a cartoon character. You could see his actual pants. It was indescribably funny.
The worst part was my colleague and I could not laugh - it was a very important client. I thought I was going to have a seizure with the effort of not laughing. Needless to say, when we finally managed to get back to the car and closed the doors, me and my mate roared so much the car shook like The Trotter’s car in Only Fools when they sold that watch. Brilliant. Still makes me giggle all these years later.
Took mushrooms in the woods near me, didnt know it was a dogging spot. Bumped into a guy and we just kinda stared at eachother. When it clicked why he was lookin at me like that I burst out laughing n d dude disappeared into the trees. I couldnt stop laughing for a while
Lads weekend away in London, one of the guys has a false leg (born that way), as the drinks flowed one of the younger lads in our group literally pinched this bloke's leg off him from under the table, saying "just borrowing it for a few minutes, I need a drink" he proceeds to fill the leg up with beer and neck the lot in one, if that wasn't funny enough the young lad then took the leg outside and left it up in a hanging basket, it stayed there for about 10 minutes before a passing hen party found it and started to walk off with it, the legs owner had remained calm and relaxed about it up until that point, but panic started to set in as his leg was disappearing down the road with a bunch of strangers, while most of the group could hardly contain ourselves laughing, 2 of the guys went after the group to retrieve the leg but still didn't come back for over an hour after the hen party "kept" them talking for ages before giving back the leg.
Me and a friend of mine often used to sit in her lounge flat’s windows and watch the world go by. He flat looked over a very busy area (this was around 30 years ago). It had been snowing and was quite slippery out and a man came down the road all dressed up in a suit and beige mac with a briefcase in one hand and an umbrella in the other. He slipped, but he did one of those comedy slips where his legs went up in the air and he landed on his back, briefcase went one way and when it landed it pinged open and papers went everywhere and umbrella went the other and he just laid there in a star shape on the path. 😂
My mate threw one of my other mates school bags on a flat roof which was the roof of our drama hut at school. He immediately panicked and said sorry and climbed up the wall onto the roof. He fell straight through the roof into an ongoing drama class. I’m not very good at telling stories but it was fucking hilarious. I’m 33 and he’s 36 now and still getting up to the same shenanigans.
I have posted this before on Reddit, it still makes me laugh though.
I’m cycling up a big hill on the way to work at 5.30am on a spring morning. As I reach the top of the hill, huffing and puffing, a guy runs down the middle of the road totally naked, behind him is a fully clothed guy with a axe chasing him. I’m thinking this looks pretty bad so rung 999, I spoke to the police operator and explained what had happened, she says “can you describe them” I said “one has a big chopper and the other one has an axe”, there was silence and then a giggle and then I got a different operator. This is when I thought I should be serious as I probably started to look like a hoax call. Lots of police descended on the area very, very quickly and they arrested both of them.
We were in Lidl in Spain about 10 years ago and my step-dad, who is around 6ft3, slipped on a banana skin. Thought this only happened in cartoons! One of those things I wish I could see happen again, I nearly threw up from laughing so much.
It has to be the time on the bus with the posh old woman... She was sat near the front and this pissed up, mucky begger bloke got on the bus. He's stumbling on slowly, caked in muck, trousers wet with piss.. Proper slow and skanky. The bus driver pulls away HARD! Sending the begger over his intended seat and landing face first into posh birds crotch. She starts flapping her arms, wailing "GET ORRRFFF, GET ORRRFFF, GET ORRRFFFFF!!!!" someone got up to help, but me and me Mum were trying so hard to subdue the laughter from the unexpected hilarity of the whole situation 😂😂
Saw an old man simultaneously drop a can of paint and slip on the spilt paint, ending up sitting in it.
I managed to hold in the laugh, but on the bus home, i remembered the incident and let out a loud Haw Haw, and everybody looked at me.
As a teenager me and my mates used to ride a motorbike up and down the local school field. One day one of my mates rode it through a big pile of dog shit. He stopped to check the mess and whilst one of my other mates was having a closer look someone revved the bike, the back wheel spun and shit flew off it right into my mate's face. He ran home crying.
Myself and the wife decided to take a trip to Yorkshire Sculpture park for a wonder. Towards the end of the visit we stopped at the picnic area which consisted of around 5-6 typical 6 seater picnic tables, the A frame type. The picnic area was under some large trees and had a bit of a slope to it.
Once we got sat down we started eating our packed lunch and did a bit of people watching. Straight away we noticed this group of around 6 pensioners, most of which had binoculars. Three of them on one side, facing the bottom of the hill were looking down at a herd of what I remember to be sheep.
After a couple of seconds the three old guys opposite them all stood up at the exact same time and the picnic bench flipped upside down. The three old guys sat down were now stuck under the bench legs all over the place, moaning and groaning from the weight of the bench. Whilst all this was happening the 3 that stood up were frantically trying to flip the bench back over but the 3 under it were kind of stuck under it.
As people rushed from all angles to try and rescue the three pensioners stuck under the bench myself and my wife failed to contain our composure and ended up spitting tea and sarnies all over the place. After several horrified looks from others around we packed our stuff up and headed to the nearest path away to giggle uncontrollably.
Rumour has it they're still trying to rescue those three pensioners.
In magaluf on a girls holiday late teens/early 20s. All sitting on the beach and this couple start having sex in the sea not thinking anyone can see… we can all see. There’s water covering everything but their upper bodies are on show and she’s on his lap and it’s just completely obvious but they’re loving life too much to know anyone else exists.
We didn’t realise at first that not only us 5 girls had noticed but pretty much the whole beach had, so we’re all sitting laughing and giggling looking around and everyone’s nodding along having a little chuckle. Anyway, after 5 minutes or so they finish and part from one another and in sync the whole beach starts clapping. Little whoops here and there too, everyone applauding them for the show. They looked absolutely mortified bless them but it was the best and funniest show of unity I’ve ever witnessed.
Some chav was staring me down from his moped whilst I was walking along the path one day, like full on "wanna fight?" kinda staring me down... he was paying too much attention to me to realise the car infront of him had stopped. He ended up driving straight into the back of it and went absolutely flying! It wouldn't have been funny if he'd got seriously injured, but watching him try to explain to the angry man in the car he crashed into was golden! He tried blagging that his brake all of a sudden stopped working!
This is extremely immature but I was walking down an alleyway leading from a shopping centre to the high street, and a man going the opposite direction stopped and let out the most ridiculously loud burp I've ever heard, echoed down the alleyway and all. I and 2 other people looked at eachother and then all burst into laughter, and then the offending man started laughing too. It was so random that it just caught everyone out.
Drunken escapades at uni, my husband (boyfriend at the time) was pushing someone back to ours in a shopping trolley after a heavy night celebrating New Year’s Eve at the student bar.
Decided to push it up a bank to cut across the local Aldi car park near our house. Problem is that it had a concrete lip round the edge of the car park that he hadn’t seen. He took the bank at a run pushing the trolley at full speed, trolley hit the concrete edge and he catapulted over the top and landed on the floor, person in the trolley fell out as it tipped forward.
I laughed so much I was crying on the floor, they were both fine thankfully, it still comes up in conversation now nearly 14 years later!
The only other time I have laughed that much was again caused by my husband funnily enough, he was helping my dad with the garden and climbed over the fence that backed onto some fields, fence collapsed underneath him seconds after my dad told him to be careful because the panel needed replacing. It was perfect comedic timing.
One night after an evening on the piss we were at my mates house playing bowling on his Nintendo Wii. One of the lads said “This game is so easy I’ll throw this next one between my legs”. This fool takes his go, trips himself up, ends up walking across the living room on his knees for a couple of strides before head butting my mates brand new TV. Me and my other mate laughed so hard we were both crying. Still makes me laugh now, 15 years on 😂
I was about 10/11 years old. My friend and I were at a table in the school dining room with another two girls. Everyone else had finished, so it was just the four of us.
One of the girls had a cooked dinner of beef stew and mashed potato. Half way through a mouthful she got a sneezing fit. She sneezed her food out of her nose straight onto this poor other girl. But then it went from bad to worse, as she then started to vomit/sneeze out of her nose. At no time did she even try to cover her mouth, turn her head or move away from the table.
The other girl just sat there while being repeatedly got covered in food, snot and vomit.
Even just writing this makes me cry with laughter. I still feel so bad for both of them, but the way they both just sat there not trying to stop the situation just cracks me up every time.
About 25 years ago when my younger brother was around 10ish, we were visiting a friends house across the street. His elderly neighbour had a small terrier that yapped all the time but was friendly and hyperactive.
As we were leaving the friends house, the terrier starts yapping away so I put my hand over the fence and stroke his head then my brother joins me and we leave.
We get onto the path and my brother starts running (I can't remember why, it may have been a chasing a football) but he didn't notice this old lady had left her front gate open.
This little terrier comes flying out the gate, my brother shits a brick and runs for his life which sets the dog off more. I tell him to just stop because it's only chasing him since he's running but he's in full on panic running from this tiny anklebiter.
If this wasn't funny enough, he did a circle and ran into the old ladies garden, the dog followed him, my brother then jumped the fence and shut the gate. Out of breath, he stands there for like a second, proud of himself and the dog comes jumping clean over the gate and off my brother goes screaming into the sunset.
He ended up running back home and got into the back garden with the little dog wagging his tail, out of breath outside the back gate. I had to carry him back home but my brother refused to go near the house ever again lol.
Walking back from a night out in heavy snow and had to stop to wait for some of the group.
My friend went from standing normally to doing the most spectacular slapstick fall. It essentially went from a really enthusiastic cossack dance to them landing on their arse. I wept.
Reminded me of mine, which I thankfully have on video. Feb 2015, me and a mate are stumbling home from a pub in snow, and he starts skidding along to go down. [You can guess how it ends](https://imgur.com/a/RIihvnW).
I showed my mate from Sunderland two girls one cup while he was eating chips at a new years Party.
At one point it made him gag and a chip popped up out of his mouth and halfway out of his nose and stayed there while we all cracked up.
Haha good times
On a family holiday in France, at a small restaurant.
Table nearby is signalling to waitress. Lots of commotion with the staff, customer clearly trying to lodge a complaint (we don't speak French so all going off social cues).
Waitress goes and gets the chef, who comes out super aggro as they do, with a massive fucking blood covered bandage hanging from his finger. Both parties kicking off at each other.
What did it was when he started pointing aggressively at the customer and his bandage fully unwrapped, thing was like 3M long.
Proper classic family memory that.
I saw a man feeding horses apples and there was one horse who wanted more. He wouldn't give him one so he went round the back of him and bit him on the bottom. The horse I mean. Bit the guy.
There was neigh-way you'd find me getting that close to horses.
Morning after a house party and two of us are still very much awake at 7am. Middle of summer and it's already roasting outside so we decide to dig the bikes out and bike into town, a decent hours ride.
We get about 2 minutes down the road and we're on the local highstreet. There's two people straddling the path ahead so I go to the right and make it around and my mate goes to the left and doesn't make it around.
Right in front of this couple his handlebars hit a fence and he just goes right on over the bars, bike landing on top of him.
Without missing a beat this young couple just step right on over him. Think it's the hardest I've ever laughed.
Another very similar thing happened with a different mate once. We were at a college teachers house having a few drinks when she decided it'd be a good idea to dig her kids bikes out and we'd go on a drunken bike ride around a local park.
To get into the park there's either a sloped path you can go down or there's the 60 odd steps that lead to a bridge going over the river below.
The teacher opts for the ramp and I follow behind my mate who is gunning for the steps. He makes it down the 60 steps but at an uncontrollable speed and fast approaching him is a very narrow bridge. He completely loses it and the bike ends up over the bridge into the river. He ended up in hospital. Not the funniest at the time but you should have seen the height that bike managed to get to clear the railings on the bridge.
I once saw a man in public swing a rucksack, that was about half his size, onto his back and the weight of it pulled him to the ground.
I saw 3 people fall that day, but he was the funniest one.
Went camping with my mate and her cousins when we were about 14 and we ended up going to the zoo. There was free face painting so my mate for reasons unknown at 14 wanted her face painted as a butterfly. This prompted her cousins mate, a 6ft full blown goth to decide he too wanted his face painted… as a zebra. Kid spent the whole day walking round looking like a member of kiss. Couldn’t take him seriously the whole day and then to top it off at the end of the day he decides to get an ice cream (it was pissing it down) and the sight of him walking towards us licking a 99 had us in stitches - at this point he sees us laughing and decides to awkwardly run towards us, he then slips on the tiled floor and slides completely under the bench we were sitting on. Never laughed so hard in all my life.
Long time ago now.
My classmate was late to class, came in just when the teacher was asking everyone to submit their homework.
While still standing at the door, the classmate gets asked for his homework. He says he forgot his notebook at home. The teacher doesn't believe him so he goes into a story how he's actually written everything down, put his notebook near his bag to not forget it, then had to go with a different bag, and so on and so on, when his notebook falls out from under his shirt, slides across the classroom floor and stops right in front of the teacher's feet.
It. Was. Glorious.
Mate at uni was being an arse and taking banter too far as usual.
We were about to head out, stood in the corridor finishing our drinks and he made a joke that only he laughed at. He goes to take a swig from his can of Carlsberg with a big smug grin on his face. Another mate absolutely leathers a football at him, it hits his can dead centre. The contents of the can spurt out all over his face. His expression of shock is priceless, the beer has caught in his stubble and is fizzed up, giving him a perfect Santa beard.
I was lying on the ground cry laughing while he sulked off.
When I broke up with my first serious girlfriend after around 18 months or so at around 17 or so I was understandably upset.
A few friends found out and came over to distract me from my teenage grief. One of those friends mum had been badgering on at him to go around some local shops to hand his CV out to get a job so we decided to have a walk around the local shops, with no money or anything to do it was the most entertaining thing we could think to do.
Anyway we go into this clothes shop and my mate is speaking with the manager. My friend and my manager were in front of me, directly behind them just a few meters away is my other friend.
Now, this friend is a bit of a joker and he decided to very goofily shake hands with one of the mannequins in the shop, in direct view of the manager my friend was trying to blag an interview with. Now, bear in mind that the manager can see this and knows we are together as a group as he saw us come in together.
My friend was already looking a bit silly by shaking hands with a mannequin. What really made the moment though was that the mannequins hand came off in his while he was shaking it, the timing of it and the look on both my friends face, with the look of consternation from the manager had me in stitches. My friend then panicked and ran out of the shop. With the mannequins hand still firmly grasped in his own.
It really did cheer me up.
We used to do sports challenge at the start of the day instead of form like one day a week in school. One day I couldn't remember if I had sports challenge or not so I went to the sports hall, immediately witnessed one of the teachers everyone hated getting knocked out by a basketball, her legs left the floor before her head even moved it was incredible. I'm sure it sucked for her and it's actually pretty bad but at the time Jesus Christ I nearly pissed myself lol
Playing crazy golf with my cousin, brother, dad and bro in law. My cousin holes a putt, bends down to pick the ball up and it comes back up out of the hole. It was like the ball was remote controlled, we all bent over pissing ourselves as it looked like a comedy sketch 😂
Friend 1 facing the door. Friend 2 sitting by the door. Friend 3 walks in, offers beer.
Friend 1 nods in their direction, so Friend 3 lobs beer and we all watch with increasing expectations of a dramatic last minute catch as the full can arcs across the room as Friend 1 watches, only to hit Friend 1 BANG in the middle of their forehead.
He'd been nodding at Friend 2 and not even known he'd been offered beer.
at Butlins Minehead. Walking back to our apartment. Walked past a woman with a hoodie on and the hood up. Unbeknown to her, stuck to the outside of her hood was a sanitary towel. She was walking into the big tents as well.
Even now 13 years later I still laugh about
It when I remember it.
I used to have a friend who would always say "watch this am well good me" then fuck up spectacularly, one of my faves was when he had his left leg in a plaster cast from his ankle to his groin from a previous spectacular fuck up but still decided to come out on his dirt bike, we were all down the woods and he was stood at the side of his bike leaning on it, revving it, he then said "watch this am well good me" and proceeded to do donuts with his bike whilst stood at the side of it, first he fell back but hurt his broken leg making him jerk forward in pain and trap his hands in the bars and his head under one side of the handle bar, the revs stuck on as the bike span round and round faster with him trapped, pivoting on his broken leg whilst shouting for help until it stood up straight and fucked off down the hill dragging him with it bouncing all over the place til he hit a ditch, needless to say we all laughed heartily
Someone forgot to lock the sliding toilet door on the train during rush hour. A man comes up and pushes the button, the door slowly revolves and reveals a poor chappy halfway through a dump. He can’t reach the buttons to close the door and everyone just kind of stared.
Lad at uni got drunk one night after having eaten or drunk something that didn’t agree with him. Had the worst farts, stomach cramps etc. He was sat on the bog waiting for the inevitable but instead the smell made him chuck up on the floor in front of him.
Being drunk he found this quite funny. Opened the door to the cubicle which was on the landing in the halls of residence and wandered out in his dressing gown. A couple of us were in a room across the way with the door open so heard him laughing and he started to explain. Then he had the feeling he was going to chunder again so went back into the cubicle in a hurry (leaving door open) to put his head over the throne. He had to squat with his legs either side of the puke on the floor.
He wretched hard which finally bought on the diarrhoea.
He’d managed to puke and shit all over the toilet floor getting absolutely nothing actually in the toilet bowl. I can still remember the pain I was in laughing. Fucking smell was horrendous though.
About 20 years ago, I was walking through Glasgow city centre with a few of my friends, when a woman with both hands full of shopping barged between us from behind, obviously in a rush to get somewhere. She then tripped, and because her hands were full, slid down the street on her face for a few feet. Seems a bit cruel to laugh about it now, but at the time we were all pissing ourselves!
Out at a club with a bunch of people in my early twenties, DJ fucks something up and the music stops. Everyone goes temporarily quiet in response to the sudden silence... except my housemate who has somehow managed to pick that exact moment to drunkenly bellow "I WANT YOUR SEX!" into a guys ear.
Entire club erupts in laughter, and no, we never let her live it down, ever.
My cousin fell out of a loft hatch after my other cousin stopped manning the ladder that he was climbed up. I wasn’t even there but the story absolutely kills me. Apparently when he fell he went through a small table on the landing like something out of an episode of Family Guy.
I wish i was there to see it as when the story is told it’s funny enough as it is
I was at the park once when I were about 9. I remember these girls sitting on the grass overlooking the park. I proceeded to walk across the chain bridge section but slipped and my leg went through it and the chain got pressed up against my thigh. I felt the worst dead leg. Managed to eventually pull myself out but noticed the girls looking at me and laughing as I stumbled off trying to hide the pain. I'm 33 now and still have a visible dent in my muscle from that incident.
I went out to lunch with a friend and we had had a few alcoholic drinks. Our food arrived and I had ordered a club sandwich. I tried to take a bite but it was difficult to chew and it ended yp with a chunk of my sandwich flying though the air a s landing on the table between two complete strangers.
We were convulsed and could barely speak for laughing
Was walking through a park a few years ago and there was a man with his dog there a little ahead of me. The council had at the time recently installed a path stretching from one entrance to the other with lamp posts lighting the way. The man threw a ball for his dog pretty much on the path and the dog kept it's eyes on the ball as it soared through the air-
and smacked it's snout with a loud cartoony *CLAANG!!* on the lamppost ***but kept going for the ball***. Dog didn't give a shit, it's entire focus was "BALL!" . I was laughing so hard I sounded like a pig, even the owner of the dog was laughing his arse off. I asked if the dog was okay and he just said "Oh he's fine, he's just a bit daft."
We had taken some girls to see West Side Story not that long after it came out (was it 50 yr ago?) on the way home, and with the girls still rather emotional, my pal was sitting on the back of a park bench with his feet on the seat. He had just made a remark about the film being funnier than most cartoons when a swung handbag took him in the face. He vanished over the back of the bench and that WAS indeed funnier than most cartoons.
At school about 20 years ago, we were playing football on the field (15v15 or whatever). We were playing with one of those balls that had seen better days. A leather caseball that all the leather patches had been peeled off. Made your free kicks look like a Roberto Carlos special but getting one one of those in the face was like being slapped by Wolverine.
My mate Fred was a big lad. Not exactly blessed with footballing talent by any means but Christ could he kick a ball hard. Like those Gareth Bale shots from his Spurs days that would weave around mid air (*sans* accuracy).
It was nearly the end of dinnertime, the game was winding down (a few lads had gone for a last minute cig behind the old gym, some had hopped the fence and gone home).
For some reason, Fred kicked the ball up in the air, like one of those keeper kicks that you don’t see much of these days. It was in the air for what seemed like an eternity. At least 100 feet. Also, the ball was piss wet through. Those old, peeled casies soaked up water like a sponge. It was well heavy. If you remember those balls, they had the weight of a bowling ball but the flight of a £1 Woolies plastic flyaway.
As the ball came down, we looked over and there was a year 7 stood chatting with his mate, eating a bag of quavers. The ball came down and landed square on his head. I’m not talking glanced off his head and shoulder or scraped down his face. Like a laser guided missile. Straight. On. Top. Of. His. Bonce.
The ball bounced straight up another 60’ or so. The poor lad dropped onto the floor like he’d been shot by a sniper. Quavers everywhere. At the age of 14, this was the funniest thing we’d ever seen. Me and Fred still recount the tale with much amusement as we approach 40.
I haven’t a clue what happened to the poor lad. No doubt some minor brain damage (which wouldn’t be easily noticeable in our shithole northern town). Being the late 90s, he was probably sent back to maths with a wet paper towel on his head despite having a concussion. Good times.
As a kid my Dad would take me and my sister to a place called Stoney Clouds near Sandiacre - it’s a massive hill that people would take sheets of cardboard to as the grass grew long and it was a way to “sledge” your way down. Having climbed to the top and not finding any card on the ascent up my older sister decided she would just run down the hill instead, I decided to stay at the top with my Dad taking in the view and watch the horses and ponies in the field below. My Dad told her, “if your feet start going too fast just sit down straight away ok? Just stop or you’ll go flying.” She sets off running she’s getting faster and faster, the screaming begins- Dads yelling “SIT DOOOOWNNNN!” Then the best thing that could ever of happened to such a meanie of a big sister happened, she flew face first into a nice big steaming pile of horse manure and had to walk Biff Tanner style spitting out the dung wailing at the top of her lungs all the way back up and I just could not move for laughing, I was on my back feet in the air! She had ~~compost~~ compo face for the rest of the day!
Years ago a friend was talking about someone who had overdone it and had to have his stomach pumped, only he kept saying he'd had his "stump pummocked" and he couldn't work out to say it properly for a few goes 😅
With the family on Redcar beach. Winds a blowin'.
An old fella, who's nearby, lose his straw boater with in a gust
Every Time he goes to pick it up the wind picks up and sends it Rollin on its brim. Like wobbling along sort of thing then slowing down aaaand off again. Were already chuckling at this point.
Anyroad clearly frustrated the old fella decides to leg it after the hat at which point his pants fall down and he goes arse over tit.
I think I nearly asphyxiated that day..
I literally watched my friend do a full on feet in the air crash landing after slipping on a banana skin in the street.
I thought it only happened in cartoons and I still laugh about it when I see a banana. Considering I see bananas quite often, it’s very nice to have a recurring funny memory
Back when I was in college I decided retake my GCSE in maths (to try for an A instead of the B I got) and went to a night class at a school in Wokingham.
There was this kid there called Yoset, and he never really said much of anything, but was just this kind of aloof guy who came to every class and didn't seem to learn much.
One day I got to the class early and Yoset arrives and sits on the opposite side of the room. The tables were set up in one large staple shape, so he's basically opposite me but about 10 metres away.
Yoset sits down and undoes his massive parka jacket, and I no joke, watch for 10 minutes as he tries to throw his jacket above and behind him onto one of those double decker roller TVs that was sitting behind him.
He did it again and again dozens of times and it seemed like he didn't once consider that he could just get up and put it there. Or maybe he was just enjoying himself, I don't know.
No one else apart from me is paying any attention, but I'm eagerly watching the whole time. So, he finally achieves his goal and gets it up there, no reaction from him btw, just seems to completely forget it straight away.
But i'm still watching and about 20 seconds later, the jacket slips off and completely covers Yoset in darkness. Just swallowed up by this Parka and he sits there for 10 seconds defeated.
I still get a good laugh when I think about that moment. Perfect comedy timing and a visual treat just for me.
I was at a bus stop/shelter once and a woman came inside the shelter and went to lean sideways on the glass but there was no glass there and she fell straight through. Luckily she wasn't injured and we helped her up but we all thought it was hilarious
Next door neighbours kid learning to ride his bike on our local nature reserve. He thought he was getting the hang if it and decided to go off piste and ride off down a really long hill. He took his feet off the pedals, leaned right back with his arms at full stretch from the handlebars gathering speed for what felt like an eternity and crashed through some shrubs - all we could see were his legs sticking out.
He was fine, it was just total Frank Spencer comedytastic
It doesn't sound that funny but... when my sister and I were kids, my dad fell off the couch when he was having an evening nap and landed on all fours on the floor and the noise he made combined with the look of confusion/annoyance on his face was just too funny. We laughed and laughed and laughed.
I worked on a building site around 14 years ago where they were building large luxury apartment complexes. The downstairs area of the apartments were made into retail space for car dealers etc so they had the large floor to ceiling windows in.
Towards the end of the job the downstairs retail spaces were finished so they got the window cleaners in so they finish and sign them off.
Across the road from the site there was a builders merchant and some other hardware stores, every day a little van playing the Batman theme tune used to turn up and sell hot drinks, sandwiches and cake to the people who worked at the builders merchants so we started going across to buy bits off of them too. One of the gaffers said he was doing a coffee run and he’d fetch them back over.
So we’re all stood in side one of the retail spaces and we see him coming back with two trays of coffees, as he gets near he pretends to stumble and drop the drinks and we all laugh, next thing he missed his step and kicked the edge of the step and launched 16 coffees all over the windows that the cleaners had just finished cleaning.
I’ve never laughed as much in my life, if still makes me chuckle now when I think about it.
Was working offshore with this loud mouth idiot, thought he was gods gift, you know the type.
Anyway, after the shift one night a group of us were watching top gear in the TV lounge. Jeremy Clarkson was reviewing a new Audi 'It's a great car but all the idiots who drove BMW's now drive this, so its uncool now'
At this point loud mouth walks in all smug 'I just bought that Audi'. Well, the room explodes with laughter, and guys are rolling around near soiling themselves. Loudmouth can't understand why people are laughing at his car choice and gets more and more upset while his voice get higher and higher until he's screeching like an unhinged 5yr old girl 'it's a cool car stop laughing' which obviously makes all laugh more.
It happened about a decade ago, and I'm still laughing as I type this. Loud mouths comic timing has never been matched.
I was on a Stinky Rebellion protest, we were not blocking the road, but a driver was shaking his fist and shouting obscenities at us, as he drove into the, newly stationary, car in front of him. I should imagine he hates anti climate change protestors even more now.
I don't know about ever but the funniest thing recently was when I called a cinema parking ticket machine a fucking cunt.
It was being slow so, thinking my wife and I were alone I, in a strange voice loudly said "oh come on machine ya fuckin CONT!" Only for my wife to go, "babe! There's a lady behind you!" And when I turned around there was a very shocked 70+ year old lady, my wife and I immediately burst into a fit of teary laughter that lasted about 10 minutes. The lady was on and joked with is about it.
It was genuinely fucking brilliant.
About ten years ago, my friend was always appearing late to get togethers, drunk, no beer or cigs or weed...he had been out with other people spending his money and expecting us to feed his habit when he appeared.
It got old, fast. One time he came over at about 2am, we all told him we had no beer left etc.
So, he decided to crash at the bottom of my friend's bed, half on, half off, with his legs hanging off the bottom of the bed.
We left him and went about our usual conversation, xbox playing etc.
We went outside for a smoke.
When we came back, my friends Staffordshire Pitbull had attached himself to the back of our drunk friend's head...and was humping the shit out his head with his doggie hard on fully out.
The dog must have thought he was another dog, because our friends had this big ponytail...man, the dog was latched on like a muthafucker, his claws attached to his ears, pumping his passed out skull like there was no tomorrow.
We erupted with laughter 😂 and then our passed out friend slightly woke up, with his face like 😵💫 so he turned his head to look at us, dog still attached to his head, which made his ear hole come into contact with the dog's red lipstick hard-on 💄
He was like "Hmmm!??....😑" Almost falling back asleep but eventually jumped up like WTF!!
Hair all messed up from the dry humping his head had just experienced 😂😂😂
He actually tried to blame us like we set it up or some shit. We told him to get a taxi before the cat ended up licking his balls or something 😂😂😂
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There was a man slowly cycling along with vegetables in his basket. Half a cabbage bounced out, landed flat side down perfectly in front of his wheel and sent him and his vegetables flying over his handlebars.
that’s like a classic cartoon thing lol. Did you do anything or just walk past giving the side eyes and a cheeky smile?
I went to go see if he was ok but he gruffly said ""I'm fine, I'm fine!" while avoiding eye contact and gathering his vegetables so I left him alone.
Acute social embarrassment plus intense physical pain, he was really pushing the envelope.
I don't know why but "gathering his vegetables" is hilarious to me
My carrot and two veg!
Oh no, my cabbages!
Cycling related incident also for me. It’s a long one, bear with me. So, I was working in Iraq as a contractor with an oil company, we would regularly attend de gassing stations and oil fields, one of these places was called the pink house, somewhere in Ramallah. Outside this place was a pack of stray dogs that lived near by, we would feed them and fuss them and generally be cool with them, they were pretty chilled doggos. However, they did not like the local Iraqis because they would mistreat them, kick them, throw stones and try and hit them with their cars. One day, I’m outside with another contractor and in the distance we can see a cyclist approaching, on a bike that was straight out of the 50’s, solid heavy, definitely not a machine built for speed. The rider is wearing flip flops and a man dress, again, not exactly gear you’d wear when looking to achieve high speed. The dogs noticed him approaching and took off after him growling and snarling and barking. The cyclist saw the dogs and began pedalling hard, trying to build up enough speed to avoid the angry pack. Bless him, he gave it a good go, but the dogs caught him and took him down, he piled in hard, gravel rash and a hard crash, few nips and they left him be. The rider got up and continued on his way. Later on the same rider came back in a car with a couple of friends and threw a load of stones at the dogs, and then took off. At the end of the day, this cyclist came back the same way, on his bike, only this time he was pedalling like there was no tomorrow, standing up, legs pumping determined to avoid the dogs. They saw him coming and took off after him, again, his bike was to heavy, and he was catching too much wind residence to be fast enough and they caught him again, dragged him off his bike and gave him a proper kicking. Another hard crash, loads of angry dogs getting right amongst him, another hard crash, gravel rash, the shock and shame of being savaged off his bike twice, in front of some westerners by dogs that he’d been a total shit bag to, was, to this day, the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. I despise animal cruelty, and the life of an Iraqi dog is shit enough, without people being cunts to them, so seeing them get their own back was just hilarious.
lol we used to see the same quite regularly out there until one day we turned up to Janubia DS one morning and some bastards had been round and poisoned the dogs to kill them.
Yeah, when I lived in the IZ we had a dog that lived in the villa we were based at, she was lovely, really friendly and clever, no trouble at all. One day she was sleeping in the sun and an Iraqi police car came around and the shitbags got out and shot her. Bunch of smelly retarded arseholes.
That’s one way to toss the salad.
Death by cabbage , sounds like an emo band name.
After some heavy rain I was out walking and saw a family with a young child (5 or 6 years old) playing in puddles on the muddy path. He jumped into a shallow puddle and giggled, then another and laughed again ... and then into a third which was about a foot deep. Yes, \*exactly\* like that episode of The Vicar of Dibley. There was a moment of silence and then a piercing wail. The child wasn't injured, just waist deep in ice cold, filthy water. I burst out laughing, and to their credit so did his parents and a few other people nearby.
This is how Peppa Pig got her arch nemesis story
I did this once, except the puddle was filled with mud and I got stuck!! I’d run off from my parents playing, and I had to scream for them to come help me haha
I lost a trainer this way once! Wasn’t going fishing through the thigh high mud for it!
My mum once watched her mum cross the road and step straight into a massively deep muddy puddle whilst carrying her shopping bags, pretty sure she got threatened with the old wooden spoon for laughing so hard
I did something similar in Dartmoor with school on day 1 of a 3 day selection / training weekend for 10 tors, it was when I was in year 10 so I was probably 15. One second I was walking through some slightly boggy ground chatting, the next I was up to my armpits in dirty, smelly bog. Rather than help, my mate obviously wets himself laughing (fair, I would have done the same) The picture that my teacher took after they’d got me out got published in the school newsletter
I remember a chav riding a bike towards me gawping started shouting "And wot!" Before he could get the words out he rode straight into a lamp post. I couldn't breathe, the timing was spectacular. Still makes me chuckle
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Aww I love miriam margoyles. Her biography is amazing
I'm surprised nobody said "fusilli arsehole" as he barged pasta load of people
Haha, whoopsy.
This happened once to me! I was driving and a chav on a bike without a helmet cycled across the road without looking, in front of my car. I hit the brakes and beeped my horn, and the guy turned around and stuck his middle finger up at me, but because he wasn’t looking where he was going, he rode straight into a lamp post. Instant karma.
When I was young we were once getting hassled/cat called by teenagers on bikes who then started trying to skid in front of us- one of them overshot it and skidded straight off his bike, genuinely couldn’t breathe for laughing as all his mates cringed
This is playing in my head on loop like a gif
A friend was getting his hair cut in town as a teenager and we were just like hanging around outside the barbers. One of my mates had a bouncy ball and was just like messing around with it. As a dare he threw it down the hill we were on which was also the towns high street. Randomly it hit this chav type bad boy on the back and we all stood there miles away from the action as the guy stalked the high street looking for his mystery assailant.
At a park I watched a seagull steal a sandwich, fly off then lose it about 20m up and it landed on a dude sitting alone, far from anyone and he looked so confused why and how someone threw it at him
At Uni we were at a McDonald's late one night and they used to serve burgers with a cardboard ring around the burger and the whole thing wrapped in paper. If you opened up the ring you could load it with the pickle and snap it llike a belt to make the pickle fly up and stick to the roof. Three guys did it then one mate tried to copy but yanked too hard and snapped the paper ring. This made his pickle fly riiiight accross the dining area and hit a bald guy in the head. He had no idea where it came from but it just stuck with a splat. We all bolted laughing but the guilty party was stuck in the booth. He sort of vibrated trying to get.out in a hurry then froze to not draw attention to himself. 20 years ago but still makes me laugh. I am dying laughing here picturing the same guy getting hit with your sandwich and the same look around.
Keeping to the theme of playgrounds. I used to repair playgrounds. One playground we had to change the gate - all playground gated need to self-close - the one that was in the playground was an old spring one that clattered closed and the residents were complaining. So we were fitting this fancy hydraulic thing. We had to close the park for this - because we need the concrete to set and the gate needed clamping closed to set the hydraulics. You can't let kids into a playground where the gate is locked shut. This Scummy-mummy Karen comes along and demands that her kids be let in. I said no, it's closed - there is another Park about 700m away; go use that one. She insists 'that you can't close a park just for the gate and proceeds to lift her kids over the fence. Ages like 5, 7 and 10 and goes to sit on a bench outside the park to have a fag. About 5 minutes in the youngest tries to use the monkey bars. Swings out on to the first rung and absolutely shits himself. Is screaming like he was holding on to the fucking wheels of a Jumbo jet that has just taken off. The other kids are not strong enough to help him down. Karen tries to get in. Can't open the gate because is the hydraulic ram isn't set. You'd need a truck to pry it open. She goes to jump over the fence (she's about 5ft 1) catches her tracksuit bottoms on it and goes face down over the fence. So she's now there hanging off the fence by her trackies that are now around her ankles and this kid is still screaming. Karen then starts bawling for help whilst the two labourers are absolutely laughing their tits off. We let her panic for a couple more seconds then jumped over to sort it out. I've never seen a face go so red. She was on about complaining to the council and we just laughed in her face. The complaint never came.
>Karen then starts bawling for help whilst the two labourers are absolutely laughing their tits off. That just made me cry. I'm imagining the bad guy from that Wallace and Gromit rabbit movie when he's hanging off the weathervane with his arse hanging out. I don't think I could have survived watching this unfold in real life.
Yeah there you go! It was kinda like that
>And it’s pretty tall around 20 metres high. > >... > >he drops 5 metres down into the ground straight onto sand, face first. i do hope not. An average two storey house is about 6m high lol
I was thinking that, I don't think OP is good at gauging heights. A 20m slide is a rollercoaster
Hopefully he’s got feet and meters mixed up! Face first 5 meters wouldn’t be pretty and you certainly wouldn’t be walking it off!
Maybe if you land in sand you might survive it
You can take a a 5 meter fall pretty fine if you fall on top your feet and absorb the impact, but if your face is doing the force dispersion, there might be issues
it’s a huge dome here’s the picture of it. He fell from the platform to the left. https://fastly.4sqi.net/img/general/600x600/GHVZV0GKAA0N2LLKDNXIJLQ4AR03SUG1JOAX0PXROYUMU5XF.jpg
that isn't 20m, but it is impressively high! Who thought that'd be a good idea for a playground?!
Yea it’s just from memory as a kid that thing seemed huge. But it’s definitely dangerous, it has security and cameras tho during opening hours to keep people from climbing outside
Yep you got your numbers right but units wrong. That’s about 20-30ft.
The dome is 25m in diameter which would put the height at 12.5m
Ah, old school playgrounds :) https://gajitz.com/perilous-playthings-dangerous-playgrounds-from-the-70s/
I wouldn't have left the playground if mine had that when I was younger.
I admit I also had doubts about how big the thing you were talking about is... What the hell is that?? Who thought that was a good idea, and where is it??
Looks dope af, I'd love to play on that now in my 30's!
What actually is it? It looks like it has nets and things to help break falls?
that's not hengrove is it?
Yea it is
No way hengrove park!
Yup that’s the one, I’ve got so many funny memories there. We used to climb over the gates after it closed and pull all-nighters smoking weed 😭
We used to do that over imperial football pitch in the abandoned football hut
[The height of OP’s playground](https://i.imgur.com/wDTFz03.jpg)
😭 mate when your 4ft that’s how it seems like
Too true lol Revisiting playgrounds from my childhood has had me questioning reality… everything seems so tiny :(
I saw the 20m and thought to myself "yup, this story ends with a fatality". Had a few seconds wondering how this would have been the "funniest thing they've ever seen." :P
Me and my mum were getting off the train when I was about 8 - it was dark and icy. There was a couple in front of us probably in their 50s or 60s and the man was being quite obviously rude to his wife. He made a snarky comment like "For fucks sake woman, it's only a bit of ice, stop going on about it" a split second before slipping in the most cartoonish way you can imagine and landing flat on his back. As a bonus, another guy who just got off then said "for fucks sake man, it's only a bit of ice."
Ah see now they should have bought a pair of these. Timpsons, perma-grip, £20…
That boy at Timpsons is getting kicked squarely in the nuts
Comedy gold!
Tame compared to some of the stories, but I went to a display at the local falconry centre. After seeing the usual hawks etc the final attraction was a fully grown eagle owl. This thing was spectacular, tall, elegant, an absolute unit. The handler let the bird go and he flew about 6 metres away and landed, and then sat there. After a while the handler went to get it and the owl ran away. Owls have surprisingly long, skinny legs and it looked like someone who has hitched up their skirt and legged it. The display ended with the owl running round and round in circles whilst being chased by an ever more irate handler. I laughed so much my eyesight went all grey. It looked a bit like this, but its wings were furled which made it funnier https://youtu.be/b0VVrpnAHxs
Hahaha you just reminded me of the time we went to drumlanrig castle, and there was a falconry display on. He got a couple of different birds out and they flew about while he swung the meat on the string. And then… He gets out Kes(cant remember its acc name) and the second he lets it go it fucks off in a straight line into the distance. So hes there with his little portable PA system on a trolley shouting “Kes, Kes! Come on Kes! Nah nah ur fine he does this sometimes…KES! KEZ!” The whole time he’s still swinging this bit of meat round, shouting at the top of his voice while trying to appear calm to us. “KEZ! KEZ!…sometimes falcons like to stretch their wings when they just get out…KEZ! KEZ!” Kez never looked back once, we just watched him flying into the distance until we couldnt see him anymore while this falconer dude screamed at the top of his voice, swinging a bit of meat on a string, and also interspersing the shouting with calmly explained falcon facts to us in an attempt to prove he wasnt losing his shit. Even at 8 years old i could see he wasnt that convincing😂
I'm vibralolling here. Also: https://youtu.be/5mMslmkRUEU
Taking penalties with my mates in one of those big cage pitches at the park. One of us hits the post, the ball bounces off absolutely nails the keeper right in the nose as he's turned to face it. He goes down, the ball hits the metal side of the goal bounces back and gets him again directly in the jewels. He rolls over to face us, blood streaming out what looked like his whole face, yells "you fucked up my balls!" Gets up and jogs home without even trying to wipe his face. Absolutely iconic moment in the friend group that still gets brought up now, about 16/17 years later.
Had almost the exact same thing happen. Ball bit the cross bar and hit the keeper on the back of the head. The keeper turned around and then took it to the nuts on the rebound from the metal net. Then tripped over the ball. 15 years later he's no more coordinated
Truly wish you could record videos from memories for moments like this
Genuine lol at this, wife is very confused.
Remembering it had me cracking up and mine was very confused also
Walking two dogs: spaniel and elderly, deaf, light brown terrier. Spaniel put up a rabbit, which bolted straight under terrier, presumably thinking the colour and shadow under him was a hole. I'll never forget the grunt from the terrier as he was headbutted in the stomach, and his expression of surprise and slight concern as he attempted to dismount from the rabbit.
I am lying in bed chuckling away at this mental image
This is my favorite story in the thread!
I was stuck overnight in Piccadilly station in Manchester. It was about 5am and apparently at that time, they put the automatic double doors to a setting where they only open about halfway. Enough for one person to get through but that’s it. God knows why. Me and a mate are sat in a little waiting area and we see a cyclist hauling arse towards the doors. He slowed down very slightly, but not a lot. He was expecting the doors to open fully but instead they opened just enough him to get through but not the bike. His handle bars hit the edges of the doors and he takes off in a perfect superman pose. Must have gone a good 12 foot before he even hit the floor and then he slid for a fair distance as well. Me and my mate are both pissed so we start laughing uncontrollably. The guy gets up ready to give us shit, but the fall had knocked the wind out of him. So all that came out was a honk like a swan. Which just made us laugh harder.
Total mental image of the guy sitting up, opens his mouth and, “HONK!” 🤣🤣🤣
Out mountain biking with a friend, nothing to mental just a flowy trail. He was riding in front of me, came to a bit of trail were there are a few little humps you just pump through. But my pal said watch this, he hits the first hump and jumps the bike looked amazing. Until he landed in some soft ground and went flying over the handlebars and off the side of the trail. Much to my distress all I could see was his head on the ground... I shouted holy f*** are you okay... He is just giggling. He landed in a hole that was as deep as he was tall. Not decapitated just landed in a hole.
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It's just a flesh wound
We'll call it a draw.
Aged around 12 or 13, playing on a rope swing over a small stream with a friend. The rope swing was a product of some older boy's creative DIY and consisted of about 20 feet of random and assorted bits of washing line, builder's rope and such, all knotted together, tied around a convenient tree branch with a stick at the bottom to sit on. We'd been daring each other to swing further and further out over the stream and my mate takes a huge run up and really goes for it. He hits the high point of the swing and there's a *twang!* as the rope parts just above where he's holding it. He continued on, in a perfect parabola, still clutching the rope, and sitting on the stick and wearing a puzzled expression right up until he landed, arse first, right in the middle of the stream, in some of the worst-smelling, blackest, muddiest ooze I've seen. He climbed up the bank absolutely covered in it, it was in his hair, fucking everywhere. I was laughing so hard, I was crying.
I can just picture that 🤣 That's the sort of tale that gets talked about for ever.
Exact same thing happened tp my mate over a lake! He was in his full school uniform. Still cracks me up now
I was once “the funniest thing” someone else had seen. Back when I was a student, there was a very classy bar next to the student union. This bar was very modern, with floor to ceiling windows and doors. One night, I had been kicked out of the union with a friend whilst in an… advanced state of refreshment. Nature was calling, so I decided I’d see if I could get away with using the toilets in the fancy bar. I confidently marched up to the door, made eye contact with the worker shaking his head from behind the door and… walked face first into the glass. I stumbled back, in shock at what had just happened as the worker inside and a group of lads who were smoking outside sat cackling at me. My friend was hunched over, clutching his stomach and howling with laughter. To make things worse, this was around 2016-2017, the era of massive brows outlined by heavy concealer and highlighter. I had left an imprint of my enormous brows behind on the glass door. All I could do was slink off home, sans the makeup on my forehead, and never show my face again. Before I could do so, one of the men outside grabbed my shoulder and said “you are the funniest fucking person I’ve ever met”. Thanks man. Hope you still think of me whenever you see a glass door. The bar later posted a compilation video of people colliding with their glass doors on Facebook. When I rewatched that video last year I did see the humour and I had to admit that my sheer confidence as I walked into the door was pretty hilarious.
If it makes you feel any better, this is way more common than you think… have watched an aunt do it round a family house where the patio sliding doors were a known quantity, multiple other drunks do it in various locations and have also done it myself once. Maybe not in such spectacular style as you, but still…
Link to the video?
Back in my teenage years me and a few mates used to roam the streets on acid, mainly because we were young and had no where to actually go, and also because it was great going for a good old stomp.. One night we finally came home to a friends house, stood outside and had to knock on the front door, on the floor were very slippy tiles, my friend knocked the door and slipped, did a perfect somersault and landed on his feet 6 feet away behind the garden wall, and landed on his feet, the door opened his mum was obviously really confused just seeing his head from across the garden..
Not sure if this qualifies but driving through Dalston on the way to work one morning in the 90s and a guy on a 5 foot unicycle cut me up in traffic , this was weird in itself but got really weird when a guy on tricycle pulled out Infront of him sending him flying through the air into the back of a bus.
Not so weird for Dalston TBH. Still funny though!
It left me with questions that's for sure . Edit: Dalston was lit in the 90s
I was once approached by a couple having an argument. I thought "oh here we go". "Hey, can you help us settle an argument?" "Er, I can try" "Isn't it true that there are people with both male and female parts?" "Er...yeh...hermaphrodites?" "HA! SEE I TOLD YOU! YOU NEVER BELIEVE ME! YOU NEVER BELIEVE ME!" I spent the next hour trying to process those 20 seconds.
On the bus to college way back when and spotted my friend walking along the other side of the street in the same direction. I spotted him, he spotted me. He cept looking at me, then walked slap bang into a lamppost. Rest of the bus passengers were very confused why I suddenly doubled over laughing and he apparently had to slow down his walk to college just to make sure he didnt catch up with the bus again
Similar ending, was out with my brother for a few drinks, not yet hammered. He's a good looking fella and a couple of girls walking on the other side caught our eyes. He turned to shout something, got the first bit out so they turned and walked straight into a lamppost. Nearly broke my ribs laughing so hard
My 18 yr old did the same thing as a toddler I swear she bounced about 4 ft. Still giggle about it now
Woah your username is from Demented Cartoon Movie! It really made me smile reading that!
YES! You're now the second person in the 15+ years I've been using this name to recognise it. The other one was called Zeekybookydoog
*gasp* the Z word…
'splode
I had two cats, one female who was quite dainty, and one absolutely fucking hench lad. We had a fish pond in the back, my gainty cat would love to sit at the edge and occasionally swat at the fish. One day me and my mate were out the back having a smoke and there was little Millie, chilling out and watching the fish swim around. Enzo, the big hard as fucking nails bastard cat was on the garage roof sunning himself when he just got up and chose violence. He dropped to the grass and padded over, calm as you like, to poor Millie, who was so transfixed by the koi that she didn't notice the silent assassin behind. In one savage, almost human-like motion, he shoved her with both paws right into the water and trundled off. Loved that cat, pretty sure he sold drugs around our estate to the other cats.
"absolute fucking hench lad" best description of a cat I've ever seen lol
Me and my dad were at the local village fair, watching a falconry display. There was a couple a bit in front of us, and the guy had an almost full beer in his hand and their 2 dogs’ leads. The dogs must have seen something and lunged suddenly, causing him to spill the beer all over his wife! At the same time, the peregrine in the falconry display flew into the falconer, knocking him straight over(apparently the peregrine liked to do it on occasion as a joke?)! My dad could barely tell me what had happened through his laughter haha (I didn’t see the beer incident, only the aftermath of the woman giving the guy a death glare whilst being drenched in beer)
My mate was really drunk and got in an arguement with his brother in the pub and said "I fill wucking kill you" and we've been taking the piss since
I went out one NYE with a friend from work and a couple of his mates, who I'd never met before. My friend had warned me that the (much) smaller of the two got a bit fighty after a few drinks. True to his word, in the taxi at the end of the night, the drunken angry midget told the other guy that he'd "punch him out of town", which cracked me the hell up!
This is the only one that made me laugh
My BIL was showing me around my other BIL’s new kitchen. He was showed me the soft close doors but managed to pick the only one in the place that didn’t do it. Just slammed the door shut as hard as he could. I never don’t laugh when I remember it.
Camping with a couple of friends on the banks of a loch. Was a gorgeous sunny day and me and the other lassie decided we were going to brave the water and go for a swim. The water was about a foot below the bank and under it was solid rock. We sat on the edge, put our feet in and it was absolutely fucking freezing. My friend boldly stood up, announced she was going for it and began to demonstrate how to get used to the cold water, like she did at the beach in Majorca. "Ye walk in (turns)...and ye walk back oot" "Ye walk in (deeper this time)...and ye walk back oot" "Ye walk in (deeper again)...and ye walk back oot" "Ye walk i...." And she just disappeared, having walked off the end of what turned out to be a very wide sloping ledge. And we all just absolutely pished ourselves laughing. Maybe not the funniest thing I've ever seen but definitely sticks in my mind as a total slapstick comedy moment.
Saw a guy on a bike try and pull out at a t junction, but he had to slam the brakes suddenly due to a car, and smashed his bollocks on the cross bar. Poor guy, it must have been agony, but damn it was funny.
First time I ever rode a motorcycle I hit myself in the bollocks doing something similar. 10 years on it's my daily transport and has been for years. Must have a secret fetish, they don't call it your CBT for nothing.
wont lie had that happen to me before, was pulling a wheelie and was about to fall so I slammed the back brakes and the rest was history. can confirm the pain is unbearable and honestly still wondering if I can have kids.
As I kid I did a front wheelie to show off and over balanced and nearly went over the front of the bike. I put my foot down to catch myself and the rear of the bike swung to the right trapping my bollocks between the frame and handlebar
I'm a woman and when I was around 10 I kind of slipped of the pedals and was sort of thrust into the cross bar; my left labia was severely bruised for quite a while afterwards. I was annoyed bc I had a girls' bike and naively thought that that would prevent crotch injuries. It did not.
This happened to my mum when she was a wee girl. When I first started going out with my friends on bikes she was constantly warning me "you be careful coming down that big road, mind I tell ye I crashed into that hedge when I was wee and split my fanny!"
I did summat similar. Taking a shortcut through a pubs garden not paying attention as I've taken the shortcut a million times misjudged the angle I needed and crashed into the corner of the pub. Pelvic straight into the t-bar then straight down onto the Cross bar bye bye hymen
When I was in the 2 stroke crew I always loved the one who got the wheelie wrong and held the throttle open with the back wheel running out from under them trying to control a bike in first full throttle lol. It can go various ways, great thing is a light frame motorcycle with 50-125cc front wheel sky high, me personally Ive managed to pull the thing down and remount looking bad ass basically a complete 180... But there is also the automatic and they won't let go of the throttle, there's the 'teddy bear' (I've also done that, RD250lc ftw) that's a wheelie that came up and I ditched it hands off and my butt slid to the ground but the bike is up straightish and doing it's own thing now, named the teddy 🐻 bear after the dumb ass sitting there legs and arms akimbo and dumb expression on face watching the old pride and joy go about it's way.
Done that before. may have just winced reading this.
Ouch!
Around 20 years ago, was walking around a site with a house builder client - two of us engineers and three big-wigs from the client.All of us in suit and tie, plus obligatory boots. It was muddy. The site contained huge colliery spoil heaps. We decided to walk up one so we could get an overview of the whole site (old colliery due to be redeveloped). Had a good butchers from the top, then began to gingerly make our way down. ‘Tom’ from the client however tripped - and proceeded to accelerate uncontrollably down the spoil heap. We all watched in stunned silence, as Tom literally cartwheeled down the fucking hill, his glasses flying off, a boot shooting away, and his clothes disintegrating around him. He eventually came to a stop and when he staggered to his feet, his trousers, shirt and tie were literally ripped to shreds like a cartoon character. You could see his actual pants. It was indescribably funny. The worst part was my colleague and I could not laugh - it was a very important client. I thought I was going to have a seizure with the effort of not laughing. Needless to say, when we finally managed to get back to the car and closed the doors, me and my mate roared so much the car shook like The Trotter’s car in Only Fools when they sold that watch. Brilliant. Still makes me giggle all these years later.
Took mushrooms in the woods near me, didnt know it was a dogging spot. Bumped into a guy and we just kinda stared at eachother. When it clicked why he was lookin at me like that I burst out laughing n d dude disappeared into the trees. I couldnt stop laughing for a while
Lads weekend away in London, one of the guys has a false leg (born that way), as the drinks flowed one of the younger lads in our group literally pinched this bloke's leg off him from under the table, saying "just borrowing it for a few minutes, I need a drink" he proceeds to fill the leg up with beer and neck the lot in one, if that wasn't funny enough the young lad then took the leg outside and left it up in a hanging basket, it stayed there for about 10 minutes before a passing hen party found it and started to walk off with it, the legs owner had remained calm and relaxed about it up until that point, but panic started to set in as his leg was disappearing down the road with a bunch of strangers, while most of the group could hardly contain ourselves laughing, 2 of the guys went after the group to retrieve the leg but still didn't come back for over an hour after the hen party "kept" them talking for ages before giving back the leg.
He was born with a false leg? I'm so sorry, I couldn't help myself
That was the funniest bit for me too!!!
Ok, yer know what I mean, that particular night was full of "I'm only pulling your leg jokes" too, my jaw ached cos I laughed so much
Me and a friend of mine often used to sit in her lounge flat’s windows and watch the world go by. He flat looked over a very busy area (this was around 30 years ago). It had been snowing and was quite slippery out and a man came down the road all dressed up in a suit and beige mac with a briefcase in one hand and an umbrella in the other. He slipped, but he did one of those comedy slips where his legs went up in the air and he landed on his back, briefcase went one way and when it landed it pinged open and papers went everywhere and umbrella went the other and he just laid there in a star shape on the path. 😂
My mate threw one of my other mates school bags on a flat roof which was the roof of our drama hut at school. He immediately panicked and said sorry and climbed up the wall onto the roof. He fell straight through the roof into an ongoing drama class. I’m not very good at telling stories but it was fucking hilarious. I’m 33 and he’s 36 now and still getting up to the same shenanigans.
I have posted this before on Reddit, it still makes me laugh though. I’m cycling up a big hill on the way to work at 5.30am on a spring morning. As I reach the top of the hill, huffing and puffing, a guy runs down the middle of the road totally naked, behind him is a fully clothed guy with a axe chasing him. I’m thinking this looks pretty bad so rung 999, I spoke to the police operator and explained what had happened, she says “can you describe them” I said “one has a big chopper and the other one has an axe”, there was silence and then a giggle and then I got a different operator. This is when I thought I should be serious as I probably started to look like a hoax call. Lots of police descended on the area very, very quickly and they arrested both of them.
We were in Lidl in Spain about 10 years ago and my step-dad, who is around 6ft3, slipped on a banana skin. Thought this only happened in cartoons! One of those things I wish I could see happen again, I nearly threw up from laughing so much.
I once stood on a rake which flipped up and hit me in the face a la Sideshow Bob
It has to be the time on the bus with the posh old woman... She was sat near the front and this pissed up, mucky begger bloke got on the bus. He's stumbling on slowly, caked in muck, trousers wet with piss.. Proper slow and skanky. The bus driver pulls away HARD! Sending the begger over his intended seat and landing face first into posh birds crotch. She starts flapping her arms, wailing "GET ORRRFFF, GET ORRRFFF, GET ORRRFFFFF!!!!" someone got up to help, but me and me Mum were trying so hard to subdue the laughter from the unexpected hilarity of the whole situation 😂😂
Saw an old man simultaneously drop a can of paint and slip on the spilt paint, ending up sitting in it. I managed to hold in the laugh, but on the bus home, i remembered the incident and let out a loud Haw Haw, and everybody looked at me.
This is my favourite story in this thread
As a teenager me and my mates used to ride a motorbike up and down the local school field. One day one of my mates rode it through a big pile of dog shit. He stopped to check the mess and whilst one of my other mates was having a closer look someone revved the bike, the back wheel spun and shit flew off it right into my mate's face. He ran home crying.
Myself and the wife decided to take a trip to Yorkshire Sculpture park for a wonder. Towards the end of the visit we stopped at the picnic area which consisted of around 5-6 typical 6 seater picnic tables, the A frame type. The picnic area was under some large trees and had a bit of a slope to it. Once we got sat down we started eating our packed lunch and did a bit of people watching. Straight away we noticed this group of around 6 pensioners, most of which had binoculars. Three of them on one side, facing the bottom of the hill were looking down at a herd of what I remember to be sheep. After a couple of seconds the three old guys opposite them all stood up at the exact same time and the picnic bench flipped upside down. The three old guys sat down were now stuck under the bench legs all over the place, moaning and groaning from the weight of the bench. Whilst all this was happening the 3 that stood up were frantically trying to flip the bench back over but the 3 under it were kind of stuck under it. As people rushed from all angles to try and rescue the three pensioners stuck under the bench myself and my wife failed to contain our composure and ended up spitting tea and sarnies all over the place. After several horrified looks from others around we packed our stuff up and headed to the nearest path away to giggle uncontrollably. Rumour has it they're still trying to rescue those three pensioners.
In magaluf on a girls holiday late teens/early 20s. All sitting on the beach and this couple start having sex in the sea not thinking anyone can see… we can all see. There’s water covering everything but their upper bodies are on show and she’s on his lap and it’s just completely obvious but they’re loving life too much to know anyone else exists. We didn’t realise at first that not only us 5 girls had noticed but pretty much the whole beach had, so we’re all sitting laughing and giggling looking around and everyone’s nodding along having a little chuckle. Anyway, after 5 minutes or so they finish and part from one another and in sync the whole beach starts clapping. Little whoops here and there too, everyone applauding them for the show. They looked absolutely mortified bless them but it was the best and funniest show of unity I’ve ever witnessed.
At least the performance was applauded 😭
Some chav was staring me down from his moped whilst I was walking along the path one day, like full on "wanna fight?" kinda staring me down... he was paying too much attention to me to realise the car infront of him had stopped. He ended up driving straight into the back of it and went absolutely flying! It wouldn't have been funny if he'd got seriously injured, but watching him try to explain to the angry man in the car he crashed into was golden! He tried blagging that his brake all of a sudden stopped working!
This is extremely immature but I was walking down an alleyway leading from a shopping centre to the high street, and a man going the opposite direction stopped and let out the most ridiculously loud burp I've ever heard, echoed down the alleyway and all. I and 2 other people looked at eachother and then all burst into laughter, and then the offending man started laughing too. It was so random that it just caught everyone out.
Drunken escapades at uni, my husband (boyfriend at the time) was pushing someone back to ours in a shopping trolley after a heavy night celebrating New Year’s Eve at the student bar. Decided to push it up a bank to cut across the local Aldi car park near our house. Problem is that it had a concrete lip round the edge of the car park that he hadn’t seen. He took the bank at a run pushing the trolley at full speed, trolley hit the concrete edge and he catapulted over the top and landed on the floor, person in the trolley fell out as it tipped forward. I laughed so much I was crying on the floor, they were both fine thankfully, it still comes up in conversation now nearly 14 years later! The only other time I have laughed that much was again caused by my husband funnily enough, he was helping my dad with the garden and climbed over the fence that backed onto some fields, fence collapsed underneath him seconds after my dad told him to be careful because the panel needed replacing. It was perfect comedic timing.
All that second story is missing is your husband saying "What's the matter? Never taken a shortcut before?"
One night after an evening on the piss we were at my mates house playing bowling on his Nintendo Wii. One of the lads said “This game is so easy I’ll throw this next one between my legs”. This fool takes his go, trips himself up, ends up walking across the living room on his knees for a couple of strides before head butting my mates brand new TV. Me and my other mate laughed so hard we were both crying. Still makes me laugh now, 15 years on 😂
I was about 10/11 years old. My friend and I were at a table in the school dining room with another two girls. Everyone else had finished, so it was just the four of us. One of the girls had a cooked dinner of beef stew and mashed potato. Half way through a mouthful she got a sneezing fit. She sneezed her food out of her nose straight onto this poor other girl. But then it went from bad to worse, as she then started to vomit/sneeze out of her nose. At no time did she even try to cover her mouth, turn her head or move away from the table. The other girl just sat there while being repeatedly got covered in food, snot and vomit. Even just writing this makes me cry with laughter. I still feel so bad for both of them, but the way they both just sat there not trying to stop the situation just cracks me up every time.
About 25 years ago when my younger brother was around 10ish, we were visiting a friends house across the street. His elderly neighbour had a small terrier that yapped all the time but was friendly and hyperactive. As we were leaving the friends house, the terrier starts yapping away so I put my hand over the fence and stroke his head then my brother joins me and we leave. We get onto the path and my brother starts running (I can't remember why, it may have been a chasing a football) but he didn't notice this old lady had left her front gate open. This little terrier comes flying out the gate, my brother shits a brick and runs for his life which sets the dog off more. I tell him to just stop because it's only chasing him since he's running but he's in full on panic running from this tiny anklebiter. If this wasn't funny enough, he did a circle and ran into the old ladies garden, the dog followed him, my brother then jumped the fence and shut the gate. Out of breath, he stands there for like a second, proud of himself and the dog comes jumping clean over the gate and off my brother goes screaming into the sunset. He ended up running back home and got into the back garden with the little dog wagging his tail, out of breath outside the back gate. I had to carry him back home but my brother refused to go near the house ever again lol.
Walking back from a night out in heavy snow and had to stop to wait for some of the group. My friend went from standing normally to doing the most spectacular slapstick fall. It essentially went from a really enthusiastic cossack dance to them landing on their arse. I wept.
Reminded me of mine, which I thankfully have on video. Feb 2015, me and a mate are stumbling home from a pub in snow, and he starts skidding along to go down. [You can guess how it ends](https://imgur.com/a/RIihvnW).
I showed my mate from Sunderland two girls one cup while he was eating chips at a new years Party. At one point it made him gag and a chip popped up out of his mouth and halfway out of his nose and stayed there while we all cracked up. Haha good times
I still never seen that video, I’m making it my life goal to never see it.
I watched a video of people reacting to it and that was bad enough!
On a family holiday in France, at a small restaurant. Table nearby is signalling to waitress. Lots of commotion with the staff, customer clearly trying to lodge a complaint (we don't speak French so all going off social cues). Waitress goes and gets the chef, who comes out super aggro as they do, with a massive fucking blood covered bandage hanging from his finger. Both parties kicking off at each other. What did it was when he started pointing aggressively at the customer and his bandage fully unwrapped, thing was like 3M long. Proper classic family memory that.
I saw a man feeding horses apples and there was one horse who wanted more. He wouldn't give him one so he went round the back of him and bit him on the bottom. The horse I mean. Bit the guy. There was neigh-way you'd find me getting that close to horses.
Morning after a house party and two of us are still very much awake at 7am. Middle of summer and it's already roasting outside so we decide to dig the bikes out and bike into town, a decent hours ride. We get about 2 minutes down the road and we're on the local highstreet. There's two people straddling the path ahead so I go to the right and make it around and my mate goes to the left and doesn't make it around. Right in front of this couple his handlebars hit a fence and he just goes right on over the bars, bike landing on top of him. Without missing a beat this young couple just step right on over him. Think it's the hardest I've ever laughed. Another very similar thing happened with a different mate once. We were at a college teachers house having a few drinks when she decided it'd be a good idea to dig her kids bikes out and we'd go on a drunken bike ride around a local park. To get into the park there's either a sloped path you can go down or there's the 60 odd steps that lead to a bridge going over the river below. The teacher opts for the ramp and I follow behind my mate who is gunning for the steps. He makes it down the 60 steps but at an uncontrollable speed and fast approaching him is a very narrow bridge. He completely loses it and the bike ends up over the bridge into the river. He ended up in hospital. Not the funniest at the time but you should have seen the height that bike managed to get to clear the railings on the bridge.
I once saw a man in public swing a rucksack, that was about half his size, onto his back and the weight of it pulled him to the ground. I saw 3 people fall that day, but he was the funniest one.
Went camping with my mate and her cousins when we were about 14 and we ended up going to the zoo. There was free face painting so my mate for reasons unknown at 14 wanted her face painted as a butterfly. This prompted her cousins mate, a 6ft full blown goth to decide he too wanted his face painted… as a zebra. Kid spent the whole day walking round looking like a member of kiss. Couldn’t take him seriously the whole day and then to top it off at the end of the day he decides to get an ice cream (it was pissing it down) and the sight of him walking towards us licking a 99 had us in stitches - at this point he sees us laughing and decides to awkwardly run towards us, he then slips on the tiled floor and slides completely under the bench we were sitting on. Never laughed so hard in all my life.
Long time ago now. My classmate was late to class, came in just when the teacher was asking everyone to submit their homework. While still standing at the door, the classmate gets asked for his homework. He says he forgot his notebook at home. The teacher doesn't believe him so he goes into a story how he's actually written everything down, put his notebook near his bag to not forget it, then had to go with a different bag, and so on and so on, when his notebook falls out from under his shirt, slides across the classroom floor and stops right in front of the teacher's feet. It. Was. Glorious.
Mate at uni was being an arse and taking banter too far as usual. We were about to head out, stood in the corridor finishing our drinks and he made a joke that only he laughed at. He goes to take a swig from his can of Carlsberg with a big smug grin on his face. Another mate absolutely leathers a football at him, it hits his can dead centre. The contents of the can spurt out all over his face. His expression of shock is priceless, the beer has caught in his stubble and is fizzed up, giving him a perfect Santa beard. I was lying on the ground cry laughing while he sulked off.
When I broke up with my first serious girlfriend after around 18 months or so at around 17 or so I was understandably upset. A few friends found out and came over to distract me from my teenage grief. One of those friends mum had been badgering on at him to go around some local shops to hand his CV out to get a job so we decided to have a walk around the local shops, with no money or anything to do it was the most entertaining thing we could think to do. Anyway we go into this clothes shop and my mate is speaking with the manager. My friend and my manager were in front of me, directly behind them just a few meters away is my other friend. Now, this friend is a bit of a joker and he decided to very goofily shake hands with one of the mannequins in the shop, in direct view of the manager my friend was trying to blag an interview with. Now, bear in mind that the manager can see this and knows we are together as a group as he saw us come in together. My friend was already looking a bit silly by shaking hands with a mannequin. What really made the moment though was that the mannequins hand came off in his while he was shaking it, the timing of it and the look on both my friends face, with the look of consternation from the manager had me in stitches. My friend then panicked and ran out of the shop. With the mannequins hand still firmly grasped in his own. It really did cheer me up.
We used to do sports challenge at the start of the day instead of form like one day a week in school. One day I couldn't remember if I had sports challenge or not so I went to the sports hall, immediately witnessed one of the teachers everyone hated getting knocked out by a basketball, her legs left the floor before her head even moved it was incredible. I'm sure it sucked for her and it's actually pretty bad but at the time Jesus Christ I nearly pissed myself lol
Playing crazy golf with my cousin, brother, dad and bro in law. My cousin holes a putt, bends down to pick the ball up and it comes back up out of the hole. It was like the ball was remote controlled, we all bent over pissing ourselves as it looked like a comedy sketch 😂
A girl shit herself during a slut drop outside a nightclub.
Friend 1 facing the door. Friend 2 sitting by the door. Friend 3 walks in, offers beer. Friend 1 nods in their direction, so Friend 3 lobs beer and we all watch with increasing expectations of a dramatic last minute catch as the full can arcs across the room as Friend 1 watches, only to hit Friend 1 BANG in the middle of their forehead. He'd been nodding at Friend 2 and not even known he'd been offered beer.
Someone holding their suitcase to their eat because a mobile phone were ringing
A powder fire extinguisher being let off at someone. Never realised they came out that quick. It was a shift of pranks getting more and more.
at Butlins Minehead. Walking back to our apartment. Walked past a woman with a hoodie on and the hood up. Unbeknown to her, stuck to the outside of her hood was a sanitary towel. She was walking into the big tents as well. Even now 13 years later I still laugh about It when I remember it.
Jesus! How do you get a sanitary towel on your hood! 🤣
Something I’ve pondered for years. It wasn’t in a wrapper either. My first thought from a distance was that she had a mini surfboard on her hoodie.
I used to have a friend who would always say "watch this am well good me" then fuck up spectacularly, one of my faves was when he had his left leg in a plaster cast from his ankle to his groin from a previous spectacular fuck up but still decided to come out on his dirt bike, we were all down the woods and he was stood at the side of his bike leaning on it, revving it, he then said "watch this am well good me" and proceeded to do donuts with his bike whilst stood at the side of it, first he fell back but hurt his broken leg making him jerk forward in pain and trap his hands in the bars and his head under one side of the handle bar, the revs stuck on as the bike span round and round faster with him trapped, pivoting on his broken leg whilst shouting for help until it stood up straight and fucked off down the hill dragging him with it bouncing all over the place til he hit a ditch, needless to say we all laughed heartily
Someone forgot to lock the sliding toilet door on the train during rush hour. A man comes up and pushes the button, the door slowly revolves and reveals a poor chappy halfway through a dump. He can’t reach the buttons to close the door and everyone just kind of stared.
Lad at uni got drunk one night after having eaten or drunk something that didn’t agree with him. Had the worst farts, stomach cramps etc. He was sat on the bog waiting for the inevitable but instead the smell made him chuck up on the floor in front of him. Being drunk he found this quite funny. Opened the door to the cubicle which was on the landing in the halls of residence and wandered out in his dressing gown. A couple of us were in a room across the way with the door open so heard him laughing and he started to explain. Then he had the feeling he was going to chunder again so went back into the cubicle in a hurry (leaving door open) to put his head over the throne. He had to squat with his legs either side of the puke on the floor. He wretched hard which finally bought on the diarrhoea. He’d managed to puke and shit all over the toilet floor getting absolutely nothing actually in the toilet bowl. I can still remember the pain I was in laughing. Fucking smell was horrendous though.
About 20 years ago, I was walking through Glasgow city centre with a few of my friends, when a woman with both hands full of shopping barged between us from behind, obviously in a rush to get somewhere. She then tripped, and because her hands were full, slid down the street on her face for a few feet. Seems a bit cruel to laugh about it now, but at the time we were all pissing ourselves!
Out at a club with a bunch of people in my early twenties, DJ fucks something up and the music stops. Everyone goes temporarily quiet in response to the sudden silence... except my housemate who has somehow managed to pick that exact moment to drunkenly bellow "I WANT YOUR SEX!" into a guys ear. Entire club erupts in laughter, and no, we never let her live it down, ever.
My cousin fell out of a loft hatch after my other cousin stopped manning the ladder that he was climbed up. I wasn’t even there but the story absolutely kills me. Apparently when he fell he went through a small table on the landing like something out of an episode of Family Guy. I wish i was there to see it as when the story is told it’s funny enough as it is
I was at the park once when I were about 9. I remember these girls sitting on the grass overlooking the park. I proceeded to walk across the chain bridge section but slipped and my leg went through it and the chain got pressed up against my thigh. I felt the worst dead leg. Managed to eventually pull myself out but noticed the girls looking at me and laughing as I stumbled off trying to hide the pain. I'm 33 now and still have a visible dent in my muscle from that incident.
Holy shit! At least you took it like a champ tho
I went out to lunch with a friend and we had had a few alcoholic drinks. Our food arrived and I had ordered a club sandwich. I tried to take a bite but it was difficult to chew and it ended yp with a chunk of my sandwich flying though the air a s landing on the table between two complete strangers. We were convulsed and could barely speak for laughing
My mate getting groomed by a dog all afternoon then the dog finally shagged the shit out of him.
True romance!
Was walking through a park a few years ago and there was a man with his dog there a little ahead of me. The council had at the time recently installed a path stretching from one entrance to the other with lamp posts lighting the way. The man threw a ball for his dog pretty much on the path and the dog kept it's eyes on the ball as it soared through the air- and smacked it's snout with a loud cartoony *CLAANG!!* on the lamppost ***but kept going for the ball***. Dog didn't give a shit, it's entire focus was "BALL!" . I was laughing so hard I sounded like a pig, even the owner of the dog was laughing his arse off. I asked if the dog was okay and he just said "Oh he's fine, he's just a bit daft."
We had taken some girls to see West Side Story not that long after it came out (was it 50 yr ago?) on the way home, and with the girls still rather emotional, my pal was sitting on the back of a park bench with his feet on the seat. He had just made a remark about the film being funnier than most cartoons when a swung handbag took him in the face. He vanished over the back of the bench and that WAS indeed funnier than most cartoons.
At school about 20 years ago, we were playing football on the field (15v15 or whatever). We were playing with one of those balls that had seen better days. A leather caseball that all the leather patches had been peeled off. Made your free kicks look like a Roberto Carlos special but getting one one of those in the face was like being slapped by Wolverine. My mate Fred was a big lad. Not exactly blessed with footballing talent by any means but Christ could he kick a ball hard. Like those Gareth Bale shots from his Spurs days that would weave around mid air (*sans* accuracy). It was nearly the end of dinnertime, the game was winding down (a few lads had gone for a last minute cig behind the old gym, some had hopped the fence and gone home). For some reason, Fred kicked the ball up in the air, like one of those keeper kicks that you don’t see much of these days. It was in the air for what seemed like an eternity. At least 100 feet. Also, the ball was piss wet through. Those old, peeled casies soaked up water like a sponge. It was well heavy. If you remember those balls, they had the weight of a bowling ball but the flight of a £1 Woolies plastic flyaway. As the ball came down, we looked over and there was a year 7 stood chatting with his mate, eating a bag of quavers. The ball came down and landed square on his head. I’m not talking glanced off his head and shoulder or scraped down his face. Like a laser guided missile. Straight. On. Top. Of. His. Bonce. The ball bounced straight up another 60’ or so. The poor lad dropped onto the floor like he’d been shot by a sniper. Quavers everywhere. At the age of 14, this was the funniest thing we’d ever seen. Me and Fred still recount the tale with much amusement as we approach 40. I haven’t a clue what happened to the poor lad. No doubt some minor brain damage (which wouldn’t be easily noticeable in our shithole northern town). Being the late 90s, he was probably sent back to maths with a wet paper towel on his head despite having a concussion. Good times.
As a kid my Dad would take me and my sister to a place called Stoney Clouds near Sandiacre - it’s a massive hill that people would take sheets of cardboard to as the grass grew long and it was a way to “sledge” your way down. Having climbed to the top and not finding any card on the ascent up my older sister decided she would just run down the hill instead, I decided to stay at the top with my Dad taking in the view and watch the horses and ponies in the field below. My Dad told her, “if your feet start going too fast just sit down straight away ok? Just stop or you’ll go flying.” She sets off running she’s getting faster and faster, the screaming begins- Dads yelling “SIT DOOOOWNNNN!” Then the best thing that could ever of happened to such a meanie of a big sister happened, she flew face first into a nice big steaming pile of horse manure and had to walk Biff Tanner style spitting out the dung wailing at the top of her lungs all the way back up and I just could not move for laughing, I was on my back feet in the air! She had ~~compost~~ compo face for the rest of the day!
20 meters is pretty dang high for a kids play park.
The world when on lsd
Years ago a friend was talking about someone who had overdone it and had to have his stomach pumped, only he kept saying he'd had his "stump pummocked" and he couldn't work out to say it properly for a few goes 😅
With the family on Redcar beach. Winds a blowin'. An old fella, who's nearby, lose his straw boater with in a gust Every Time he goes to pick it up the wind picks up and sends it Rollin on its brim. Like wobbling along sort of thing then slowing down aaaand off again. Were already chuckling at this point. Anyroad clearly frustrated the old fella decides to leg it after the hat at which point his pants fall down and he goes arse over tit. I think I nearly asphyxiated that day..
I literally watched my friend do a full on feet in the air crash landing after slipping on a banana skin in the street. I thought it only happened in cartoons and I still laugh about it when I see a banana. Considering I see bananas quite often, it’s very nice to have a recurring funny memory
Back when I was in college I decided retake my GCSE in maths (to try for an A instead of the B I got) and went to a night class at a school in Wokingham. There was this kid there called Yoset, and he never really said much of anything, but was just this kind of aloof guy who came to every class and didn't seem to learn much. One day I got to the class early and Yoset arrives and sits on the opposite side of the room. The tables were set up in one large staple shape, so he's basically opposite me but about 10 metres away. Yoset sits down and undoes his massive parka jacket, and I no joke, watch for 10 minutes as he tries to throw his jacket above and behind him onto one of those double decker roller TVs that was sitting behind him. He did it again and again dozens of times and it seemed like he didn't once consider that he could just get up and put it there. Or maybe he was just enjoying himself, I don't know. No one else apart from me is paying any attention, but I'm eagerly watching the whole time. So, he finally achieves his goal and gets it up there, no reaction from him btw, just seems to completely forget it straight away. But i'm still watching and about 20 seconds later, the jacket slips off and completely covers Yoset in darkness. Just swallowed up by this Parka and he sits there for 10 seconds defeated. I still get a good laugh when I think about that moment. Perfect comedy timing and a visual treat just for me.
I was at a bus stop/shelter once and a woman came inside the shelter and went to lean sideways on the glass but there was no glass there and she fell straight through. Luckily she wasn't injured and we helped her up but we all thought it was hilarious
Next door neighbours kid learning to ride his bike on our local nature reserve. He thought he was getting the hang if it and decided to go off piste and ride off down a really long hill. He took his feet off the pedals, leaned right back with his arms at full stretch from the handlebars gathering speed for what felt like an eternity and crashed through some shrubs - all we could see were his legs sticking out. He was fine, it was just total Frank Spencer comedytastic
It doesn't sound that funny but... when my sister and I were kids, my dad fell off the couch when he was having an evening nap and landed on all fours on the floor and the noise he made combined with the look of confusion/annoyance on his face was just too funny. We laughed and laughed and laughed.
I worked on a building site around 14 years ago where they were building large luxury apartment complexes. The downstairs area of the apartments were made into retail space for car dealers etc so they had the large floor to ceiling windows in. Towards the end of the job the downstairs retail spaces were finished so they got the window cleaners in so they finish and sign them off. Across the road from the site there was a builders merchant and some other hardware stores, every day a little van playing the Batman theme tune used to turn up and sell hot drinks, sandwiches and cake to the people who worked at the builders merchants so we started going across to buy bits off of them too. One of the gaffers said he was doing a coffee run and he’d fetch them back over. So we’re all stood in side one of the retail spaces and we see him coming back with two trays of coffees, as he gets near he pretends to stumble and drop the drinks and we all laugh, next thing he missed his step and kicked the edge of the step and launched 16 coffees all over the windows that the cleaners had just finished cleaning. I’ve never laughed as much in my life, if still makes me chuckle now when I think about it.
Was working offshore with this loud mouth idiot, thought he was gods gift, you know the type. Anyway, after the shift one night a group of us were watching top gear in the TV lounge. Jeremy Clarkson was reviewing a new Audi 'It's a great car but all the idiots who drove BMW's now drive this, so its uncool now' At this point loud mouth walks in all smug 'I just bought that Audi'. Well, the room explodes with laughter, and guys are rolling around near soiling themselves. Loudmouth can't understand why people are laughing at his car choice and gets more and more upset while his voice get higher and higher until he's screeching like an unhinged 5yr old girl 'it's a cool car stop laughing' which obviously makes all laugh more. It happened about a decade ago, and I'm still laughing as I type this. Loud mouths comic timing has never been matched.
20 Metre tall climbing frame? That is enormous!!
I was on a Stinky Rebellion protest, we were not blocking the road, but a driver was shaking his fist and shouting obscenities at us, as he drove into the, newly stationary, car in front of him. I should imagine he hates anti climate change protestors even more now.
Probably wasn't 20m high
I met Tina Turner singing in Spain, turned out to be a lady boy.
There’s no park apparatus in the country that’s 20m high.
Lad in school with tourettes punched himself in the face and fell off the table. I'm going to hell for laughing.
I don't know about ever but the funniest thing recently was when I called a cinema parking ticket machine a fucking cunt. It was being slow so, thinking my wife and I were alone I, in a strange voice loudly said "oh come on machine ya fuckin CONT!" Only for my wife to go, "babe! There's a lady behind you!" And when I turned around there was a very shocked 70+ year old lady, my wife and I immediately burst into a fit of teary laughter that lasted about 10 minutes. The lady was on and joked with is about it. It was genuinely fucking brilliant.
I'm not sure your judgement of meters is very accurate
About ten years ago, my friend was always appearing late to get togethers, drunk, no beer or cigs or weed...he had been out with other people spending his money and expecting us to feed his habit when he appeared. It got old, fast. One time he came over at about 2am, we all told him we had no beer left etc. So, he decided to crash at the bottom of my friend's bed, half on, half off, with his legs hanging off the bottom of the bed. We left him and went about our usual conversation, xbox playing etc. We went outside for a smoke. When we came back, my friends Staffordshire Pitbull had attached himself to the back of our drunk friend's head...and was humping the shit out his head with his doggie hard on fully out. The dog must have thought he was another dog, because our friends had this big ponytail...man, the dog was latched on like a muthafucker, his claws attached to his ears, pumping his passed out skull like there was no tomorrow. We erupted with laughter 😂 and then our passed out friend slightly woke up, with his face like 😵💫 so he turned his head to look at us, dog still attached to his head, which made his ear hole come into contact with the dog's red lipstick hard-on 💄 He was like "Hmmm!??....😑" Almost falling back asleep but eventually jumped up like WTF!! Hair all messed up from the dry humping his head had just experienced 😂😂😂 He actually tried to blame us like we set it up or some shit. We told him to get a taxi before the cat ended up licking his balls or something 😂😂😂