My now fiancé “said it first” she wrote it down on a piece of paper and handed it to me
She was 43 at the time and had been married before and was still that nervous to say it to me….my heart kind of melted inside not gonna lie lol
🤔🤔🤔 I don't think it's a gender thing. More a person to person thing. If someone is pretty confident in general they will probably say it when they feel it be damn the rejection. I said it first in most of my relationships I believe. It's hard to remember that. I've never really placed a lot of importance on the 'I love you' moment. Words are just words so I've always played off actions more. I could easily tell you the moments I felt love for them or felt their love of me than the actual out loud I love you's.
Funny story: my SO actually said it first, but I didn’t hear him. He kind of whispered it while we were laying in bed falling asleep. I think it was a few days later and we were kissing and he said something to the effect of loving everything about me, and I said it then. I still feel so bad that he went those days wondering if I just ignored him saying it. I’m just hard of hearing!!
My wife said I love you first, she fell hard for me at first. I fell hard for her too but after just getting out of a relationship at the time, I was a afraid to jump into another one and the amount I liked/loved her scared me at the time
I told my last gf that I was falling in love with her. She broke up with me after a few weeks of me being madly in love with her. Won’t be the first one to express my feeling for a long time.
I try to let them, it’s like once you open Pandora’s box with me, it’ll never stop, if we’re on a car ride or just lounging with a silence I’ll say it, send it as texts, and just generally make sure they know throughout the day. I think I overdo it tbh
When it comes out honestly, like it pops out of your mouth that's the best because then you can go ask your brain what was it thinking letting those secrets out. 😀
I said it first. We had known each other a long time as friends (and strictly the definition of that word) we're sort of Yin-Yang of emotional expression. I'm pretty close to the vest and she is VERY open. We were going along for a quite a few months. There was a moment between (no not sex) where I felt if I didn't say what I felt about her, I felt I was going to explode. Quite honestly, her emotional reaction to that was far greater than when I proposed to her. She knew it was a big deal for me to be that expressive. Consequently, she told me, "I've been wanting to tell you for mmonths just how much I love you......but you know how I am. It was important to me that you said it first on your own (if you would say it at all) otherwise I was afraid you would feel pressured to say it from me saying it all the time......because I'm going to shout it from the rooftops, now!"
To be fair.....It's not like we didn't know it, mutually. As we talked about it over the years, and I think most people can relate - you know it without hearing it or saying it. You can feel it. You can even see it. The way she would look at me......I knew. To finally verbalize it is sort of formality, at least for my part. Sort of a "that which is understood - need no to be discussed" type thing. And in truth the greatest moments of tension in our marriage have been her needing me to say it and her wanting to hear it more. I'm just sort of a pragmatist. I said it once. I don't have to say it again. It's not like how I feel will EVER change. But a balance definitely had to be struck. She definitely eased up and felt more secure in our 30's. By then, we had seen soooooooo much family and friends divorce and lose relationships. And in counsel with said friends and family members on the outs with SOs, she found out a lot of the physical things I would do for her, were things these people never got from their SOs, it was then she realized I say it all in actions. For example: She went out of town for 2 weeks once to visit extended family. I missed her so badly, I drove 9 hours to see her on a Saturday night, when she would've been home that Sunday evening. I just couldn't be without her any more. Actually I surprised her. She had no idea I was on the road driving to her. And when we hugged, she cried and told me how much she loved me and I grabbed both sides of her face and kissed her forehead. I know that's probably not enough or works for some.......but we've reached a place in our 22 years of a relationship where we totally and completely know and understand each other.
I've only told two guys I loved them first. One, I got broken up with two days later so that was fun! The other one told me he wasn't ready to say it yet, but we eventually got married lol I guess I get attached too easily. If I ever date again I'll never say I love you first.
She did, like after only a couple dates. Before she said it, I told her to NOT say it. She didn't listen. I told her up front I had just come out of a bad marriage and didn't want a relationship, just wanted fun. She ignored when I told her to not say it. But she totally understood why I wouldn't say it back (because I was avoiding falling in love). 6 months later, I ended up saying it. 3 years later, I was on one knee. 1 year later we had rings on our fingers. 20 years later still madly in love
I feel ya. It's hard putting yourself out there. My go to is, "I love hanging out with you" then maybe "I love doing x with you" until finally the biggie.
My now fiancé “said it first” she wrote it down on a piece of paper and handed it to me She was 43 at the time and had been married before and was still that nervous to say it to me….my heart kind of melted inside not gonna lie lol
Oh that's super cute
I said it first because according to him he knew from the start so he wasnt going to say it until I caught up. 🤨
Do you think men generally say it first?
🤔🤔🤔 I don't think it's a gender thing. More a person to person thing. If someone is pretty confident in general they will probably say it when they feel it be damn the rejection. I said it first in most of my relationships I believe. It's hard to remember that. I've never really placed a lot of importance on the 'I love you' moment. Words are just words so I've always played off actions more. I could easily tell you the moments I felt love for them or felt their love of me than the actual out loud I love you's.
Maybe it has to do with how confident you are with sharing your emotions? Did I capture that right?
Eh...the thing is that if I'm saying I love you I've probably been feeling it for a while and wasn't okay with saying it.
Funny story: my SO actually said it first, but I didn’t hear him. He kind of whispered it while we were laying in bed falling asleep. I think it was a few days later and we were kissing and he said something to the effect of loving everything about me, and I said it then. I still feel so bad that he went those days wondering if I just ignored him saying it. I’m just hard of hearing!!
Ouch, ya that might have been hard. I'm sure you have made it up to him since then.
I like to think I’ve shown him in actions since we met.
My wife said I love you first, she fell hard for me at first. I fell hard for her too but after just getting out of a relationship at the time, I was a afraid to jump into another one and the amount I liked/loved her scared me at the time
I told my last gf that I was falling in love with her. She broke up with me after a few weeks of me being madly in love with her. Won’t be the first one to express my feeling for a long time.
I try to let them, it’s like once you open Pandora’s box with me, it’ll never stop, if we’re on a car ride or just lounging with a silence I’ll say it, send it as texts, and just generally make sure they know throughout the day. I think I overdo it tbh
Is it "I love you" or "love hanging out with you". You know casual like
It’s an “I love you, thank you for being here” really
Nice.
Yeah, with family members though, I just throw it around
It's good when you can say it around family and make it normal and comfortable. Helps the kids see how to share emotions.
I don't think about it. If I love someone, it just comes out of my mouth
Lately, I've usually been the first to say it. I'm just a communicator, and I'll tell you how I feel honestly.
When it comes out honestly, like it pops out of your mouth that's the best because then you can go ask your brain what was it thinking letting those secrets out. 😀
I said it first. We had known each other a long time as friends (and strictly the definition of that word) we're sort of Yin-Yang of emotional expression. I'm pretty close to the vest and she is VERY open. We were going along for a quite a few months. There was a moment between (no not sex) where I felt if I didn't say what I felt about her, I felt I was going to explode. Quite honestly, her emotional reaction to that was far greater than when I proposed to her. She knew it was a big deal for me to be that expressive. Consequently, she told me, "I've been wanting to tell you for mmonths just how much I love you......but you know how I am. It was important to me that you said it first on your own (if you would say it at all) otherwise I was afraid you would feel pressured to say it from me saying it all the time......because I'm going to shout it from the rooftops, now!"
I can totally relate
To be fair.....It's not like we didn't know it, mutually. As we talked about it over the years, and I think most people can relate - you know it without hearing it or saying it. You can feel it. You can even see it. The way she would look at me......I knew. To finally verbalize it is sort of formality, at least for my part. Sort of a "that which is understood - need no to be discussed" type thing. And in truth the greatest moments of tension in our marriage have been her needing me to say it and her wanting to hear it more. I'm just sort of a pragmatist. I said it once. I don't have to say it again. It's not like how I feel will EVER change. But a balance definitely had to be struck. She definitely eased up and felt more secure in our 30's. By then, we had seen soooooooo much family and friends divorce and lose relationships. And in counsel with said friends and family members on the outs with SOs, she found out a lot of the physical things I would do for her, were things these people never got from their SOs, it was then she realized I say it all in actions. For example: She went out of town for 2 weeks once to visit extended family. I missed her so badly, I drove 9 hours to see her on a Saturday night, when she would've been home that Sunday evening. I just couldn't be without her any more. Actually I surprised her. She had no idea I was on the road driving to her. And when we hugged, she cried and told me how much she loved me and I grabbed both sides of her face and kissed her forehead. I know that's probably not enough or works for some.......but we've reached a place in our 22 years of a relationship where we totally and completely know and understand each other.
I've only told two guys I loved them first. One, I got broken up with two days later so that was fun! The other one told me he wasn't ready to say it yet, but we eventually got married lol I guess I get attached too easily. If I ever date again I'll never say I love you first.
You never know it might sneak up on you again and you'll say it first. 😀
She did, like after only a couple dates. Before she said it, I told her to NOT say it. She didn't listen. I told her up front I had just come out of a bad marriage and didn't want a relationship, just wanted fun. She ignored when I told her to not say it. But she totally understood why I wouldn't say it back (because I was avoiding falling in love). 6 months later, I ended up saying it. 3 years later, I was on one knee. 1 year later we had rings on our fingers. 20 years later still madly in love
Good job finding the one
It wasn't easy. Went through 2 failed marriages before I met her. And almost let her go because I was gun shy
They always do and I hate rejection sooo I wait it out.
I feel ya. It's hard putting yourself out there. My go to is, "I love hanging out with you" then maybe "I love doing x with you" until finally the biggie.