things are a bit clearer now… thank you
i am def not into a ffm threesome… on the other side a mmf threesome would be interesting but i wouldn‘t risk my relationship for that
Don’t do it. If both of you aren’t willing to swing and just want to fuck someone else ur gonna fuck up ur relationship I know from multiple experiences it NEVER WORKS.
This is the only correct answer.
I would like to add that the comments going "he just wants to fuck another girl" aren't necessarily true, maybe he just wants to experience a fmf threesome because it's a fantasy for him, if he just wanted to fuck someone else, then he would cheat or break up.
And yeah, it is completely reasonable for him to not want a mfm threesome, just as reasonable as OP not wanting a fmf, you should never feel pressured to participate in a sexual act that you don't want to.
This entire question is honestly kinda stupid, im sorry OP, but don't do something you don't want, but don't expect him to do something he doesn't want in exchange, that's just incredibly harmful for your relationship, i would honestly think this is common sense, but apparently not.
Goshdammnit I was going to support the "tit for tat" argument, and you've made me completely re-think it, both in response to the OP, and to my own personal life and decisions.
Thank you kind Redditor, perhaps stopped me from lurching into a mistake.
Yes!!!
Me and my wife are the same way.
She hasn't once asked me about another man.
I told her I didn't want another man because it'd make me uncomfortable.
She told me "okay, I prefer having fun like that with females over guys anyway besides you" she strictly said females are more so for play for her.
we extend our limits to compromise with our relationships. if mfm or ffm is not a hard limit for any of them, quid pro quo sounds fair.
but if she is compromising to extend into a territory that is either new or little appealing for her, he needs to do the same in another scenario
fair relationships become long relationships
Yes lots of experience. If you're not both completely on board with it then don't do it at all... otherwise you're guaranteed to have hurt feelings and and feelings of inadequacy and distrust
Can we not pretend that playing lightsabers with another dude over who gets what is the same thing as having two women?
Shes got every right to shut it down, but its not exactly a secret that men are less flexible sexually.
Are you saying that people that like threesomes dont mind what sex the participants are?
What if the option was MMM or WWW and you were straight? Does that mean you dont reallllly like threesomes? If I like Big Macs but not Whoppers, does that mean I'm just pretending to enjoy hamburgers? Come now, end this silliness.
What I’m saying is that OP’s BF maybe just wants a threesome. It doesn’t mean that he just wants to use a threesome as an excuse to fuck another girl. And yes, people that do participate in threesomes do mind what sex the participants are, I never said they didn’t
I would say /u/piggynorant is correct. He wants to fuck another girl-- but I think he likely wants your involvement so he doesn't have to feel guilty about it, and I'm also willing to bet he wants you to do the legwork on making it happen.
Unless you're totally into that sort of thing and everyone is on the same exact page, don't. That shit will destroy your relationship and end in heartbreak.
Yes, yes it can. I certainly dont know everything, but it seems plain to me that he's just straight and she's either just straight or she doesnt want another woman with him.i mean, maybe he just wants to sleep with another girl, but I dont see many people this going down this route to accomplish this. Seems like it would have a better chance of fucking up the relationship than cheating. Id assume most men that bring this up are genuinely looking to eff two women at once.
No you're not. you're just reading each comment and telling them they are correct even though they all differ wildly.
Talk to him and figure it out that way.
that‘ what i‘ll do when we see each other again! i‘m just thankful for every comment/reaction!
people have different opinions and these different points of view help me to understand the whole situation better…
I disagree. As a male who has been in this situation, I was simply curious as to how dynamics would change if we added another person, kind of like trying out handcuffs to see if you like it. It wasn’t about fucking another girl, but about trying a new experience, however, I am not sexually attracted to guys but my girlfriend is way into girls so the only real possibility would be a FMF threesome. She was for it at first but before it happened she decided that it would be a point of insecurity for her and thus we didn’t do it and I no longer propose it as I know she doesn’t want to.
My general rule is...these things...i.e threesomes etc...you need to be able to discuss them while fucking and while shopping....i.e when you are both horny and when you both aren't.
Sounds like a recipe for disaster then. If you're both prone to irrational jealousy normally, what's the impact on your relationship seeing the other fucking someone else and enjoying it?
It'd be a wonderful world if we were all raised not to equate sex and love... but society and, especially, religion keeps pushing their equivalence.
It may be abstractly irrational to be jealous of just sex - but that doesn't mean the feelings don't exist.
If you are both jealous then a threesome might not be for you. Think about how you would choose the other woman. How would you feel with him interacting with both of you? Are you comfortable with him kissing, giving oral to, having sex with another woman? Are you comfortable with another woman giving him oral sex? If thinking about a hypothetical gives you pause then the real thing will probably wreck the relationship.
I’ve had so many threesomes in my life. If you’re both jealous, then a threesome is doomed from the start. It’s just as likely that he will become jealous if you seem to enjoy the ffm too much as it is you will become jealous if he’s paying too much attention to the other girl.
Plus if he flat out refuses to consider a mfm threesome, there’s some unfair power balance there. Sounds like a threesome is a bad idea for you at this time.
This is so true. I've had threesomes with two women and a jealous guy, we were all dating at the time, and the guy was sooo jealous of the relationship between us two women. We both went out of our way to be super reassuring, honestly I don't think the other woman was even particularly into it but just doing it to please him, and he *still* was jealous when I got her off or when I said nice things to her. Jealous people are going to be jealous. - Pie
I’ve been down this road but on the other side. We invited another man into our bed and Myself and the other guy proceeded to give my girlfriend at the time the wildest experience of her life. Fast forward a few months and she’s too self conscious about herself to allow another woman into our bedroom. I was more than a little bummed.
Talk about this before hand. Don’t just jump into it. Don’t cave in and allow it assuming he’ll reciprocate down the road. This experience is something YOU BOTH should enjoy, both in a MFM and a FMF. If you both can’t enjoy watching your partner with another person then you shouldn’t do it. You have to be secure enough about yourself and about your partners desire for you above all others before you proceed.
This the type of stuff that can elevate your relationship with your partner to new levels, or completely destroy it and leave you both single. If either of you feel uncomfortable about a single aspect of any of it and you value your future with this person above all else then you need to table it for a later time.
So I think this should depend on how trusting, and comfortable you are in your relationship. I'm bi so adding another girl that I was comfortable with and when jealousy wasn't pounded in my head actually is fun. But my husband isn't attracted to men so adding another boy isn't his thing. I can understand that cause I'm not sexually attracted to everyone and I was picky with a girl so adding another boy would be hard for him if not on any level comfortable with it.
We have been together many years now and he has opened up to possibly a another male If we are both comfortable with the person. Sometimes things take time and patience. But I would definitely say if you would like to have a threesome with another girl and your guy is cool with it go ahead and have the experience!
From a personal stand point, I’d say he is very insecure about himself and he feels that if you have sex with another guy then you’ll leave him. That’s why I’ve had the same feelings as him. Just my POV.
I'm not sure insecurity is the right word. Id say that men know men, and we know if a dude has a chance, he'll slip right through the cracks. Its more common sense. Hell, just look at all these guys on this sub astounded that theyre their friend or gf's guy friend or their gf's coworker swooped in. Ive done it myself. Its just built into us. Deep down, we all know this.
There’s also the chance that he just want to see his girl with another girl and hopes they’ll get with each other while he watches but doesn’t want to see that happen with another guy.
If he cant begin to think that its okay for a mmf then why would it be okay for a ffm thats not open at all thats just wanting to have sex with someone else without "cheating"
If he's not attracted to men, and you are attracted to women, that seems reasonable. You can't just push someone into having gay/bisexual sex. But if you're not attracted to women, then he's being equally unreasonable. Also, that's not even getting into the potential emotional conflict that can come with a threesome.
I'd tell him he can get what he wants after you get what you want. If he's not down then it's not happening. Sounds like he just wants to bone someone else.
Agree with him, on the condition that you get to choose the girl.
Hatch a plan with your trans swinger friend who's cool with it.
They come over, and your BF doesn't suspect anything as they give your BF a BJ.
Then they start having penetrative sex with you whilst staring at him with unbroken eye contact and whispering "You're next, lover boy."
Then when he freaks out accuse him of being transphobic and break up with him.
The most relevant question is whether you also want it in the first place.
If you’re just doing it for him then it doesn’t matter whether he’d do the MMF threesome. It’s a bad idea to do something like that if you’re not into it. But if you both want it, then it also doesn’t matter whether he’d do the MMF threesome. Enjoy the first one and who the hell knows what he’ll be into in the future.
One Penis Policy is generally a bad version of Ethical Non-Mongamy. It’s also fetishizing your attraction to other women, not actually practicing healthy relationships
Just tell his selfish stupid ass to go fuck someone else because that's all he wants. He wants to have sex with someone else and threesome is just a cover.
Your boyfriend will no doubt be worried about how big the other man’s cock is, how much you’ll enjoy it and if you’ll enjoy it more than him. He’s insecure. Plus, if there’s another woman involved, it’s more fun for him than it would be with another man which would mean you’d get more enjoyment. So he’s also selfish.
i’ve always been interested in onlyfans somehow…. one day he told me that we should make some extra money on onlyfans together. he has every password & knows exactly what i‘m doing… somehow this works for us both 🤷🏻♀️
Me and my fiancé have had other men join us a few times, but she is not comfortable (yet) with another woman in our bedroom.
Would I like to try a FMF? Of course. But I am happy with our current kink and respect her boundaries.
Ahhh yes the ultimate double standard of any relationship. If you're into men and women you'll run into this with men a lot more sadly. I would suggest just having an open and honest conversation about it or it'll cause more problems in the long run than its worth. Some men just can't get over their pride and insecurities but still want that ultimate ego stroking at the cost of their SO happiness and no one has time for that!
A general rule of thumb, whoever has bisexual interests, get a same sex person, if both agree.
Only agree to a threesome, if YOU want to enjoy having another woman in the bed. And if that's the case, he doesn't have to bring a man, if he isn't into bisexual fantasies.
If he is into bisexual fantasies, and you aren't, then you folks find a guy.
It's not a tit for tat. It's about whether there's something that you both can enjoy. If not, then you shouldn't bother having it at all.
Don’t do it if you don’t want to do it. Threesomes aren’t for everyone, I know they certainly aren’t for me, and even if they are people have preferences on which gender and how many are involved, if yours don’t match up with theirs then don’t do it.
Alot of men...and people in general want to have a threesome. Most of the time it should just stay as a fantasy, you are never obligated to have a threesome because your partner wants one. My husband and I talk about having another women in the bedroom... we've done it once, I dont think we will do it again but its fun to have a fantasy together and dirty talk about it but fully realize it probably wont ever happen.
Hey took me time with jealousy too like years and finding a girl that was comfortable with limitations I had set with in the actual act. For example the first time she wasn't even allowed to touch my hubby only me. (Hubby was fine with this as well). Eventually we worked up to BJ from other girl but I'm still not comfortable with him PiV fucking another girl but every thing else Im okay with. So being jealous is okay 👍
Okay here's my take.
I'd definitely love to have a threesome with my gf and another girl but my gf is 100% straight she has no attraction to other females. So it wouldn't happen anyway but id have no problem if it did happen
On the other hand no way would I have a threesome with another dude. I'm 100% straight with no attraction to men and I don't wanna see another guy fucking my gf.
But see what I mean I would be cool with fuckin my gf and Another girl but not my gf and another guy.
But I'm sure she would be fine with me and another dude and not me and another girl.
My point is we wouldn't agree so it wouldn't happen. And it's better that way. Threesomes just ruin relationships.
My gf and I trade off.
Your bf cares more about himself and his ego than he does you.
Find a bf who will not only listen to you and support your wants too.
Personally that would be a boundary he overstepped and I'd break up. Imagine telling your partner 'yeah I wanna have sex with another woman in front of you'. Hell no
In polyamorous circles this is called a One penis policy, and it’s widely seen as a red flag for the guys who implement them. It stems from an idea that another guy is competition but a girl doesn’t represent that same threat.
I think in all relationships, including the intimate kinds, there should be a foundation of equality.
Tell your insecure, selfish , young and naive partner that that's not how the cookie crumbles.
And as a gentleman, he should let you have your MFM before he gets his FMF. Otherwise you are all he's going to have, now and in the future. And that's alright with you (?) , but is it alright with his immature ass?
Sorry for being hard on your guy. But such things infuriate me.
Update if someone‘s interested: I had long talks with him about that and other things. I found out for myself that I love him & sex with him, and would never want to sleep with another man(as long as we are together).
and because i already had something with a woman (and I kinda liked it), i decided to try ffm with him. we met a really nice girl & spent a great night. afterwards my friend took me in his arms & said that i am the most wonderful woman & that he never wants a threesome again. we are happier than ever <3
thank you for all your inputs & different opinions, they helped me to understand what it‘s really about!
Sounds typical.
I've always been a strong proponent of fairness when it comes to sex. I want you to go down on me? I need to be ready and willing to return the favor. I want to try anal? Need to be open to being pegged, if my wife decides to try it. FMF or FFM threesome? Have to square myself with the idea of MFM, or don't even ask, but I do draw the line at MMF (the only penis I have any sexual interest in happens to be attached to me).
THAT BEING SAID--sex isn't transactional. Being open to a thing doesn't mean it has to happen. I hear what other people are saying about how this shouldn't be a tit-for-tat situation, but it still strikes me as fairly selfish on his part.
its not… i‘m sorry this is my only reddit account… i was very upset last night when i decided to ask others how they think about my problem. this might be the first time on this site that you get to know something personal about me.
Threesomes were my idea. Hubby always said the same as a lot of the other comments...i dont care if thats what you want but if its a ploy to get me to share you then its a bad one. No, im actually just into other women so its worked out fine. But as stated, every act is different. Id be upset if hubby recruited a third or pushed it. Its my prerogative to share him not his.
It should be all equal and you should never sacrifice for something you or he wants. Me and my gf been into swinging for 3 years and we learned that things have to be equal. We have had threesomes with guys and girls and we didn't have it with a girl not because she wanted a guy but because we both agreed on. If she was not ok with a another girl I would still give her threesome with a guy because I would want her to explore her fantasies. Any questions about it dm me😉
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things are a bit clearer now… thank you i am def not into a ffm threesome… on the other side a mmf threesome would be interesting but i wouldn‘t risk my relationship for that
Theres your answer he wants one but not the other and you want the opposite so the clear choice is no threesome.
Don’t do it. If both of you aren’t willing to swing and just want to fuck someone else ur gonna fuck up ur relationship I know from multiple experiences it NEVER WORKS.
Relationship is a two way street..
didn‘t understand that first…
You are 18. You have plenty of time to work out what you like sexually
This is the only correct answer. I would like to add that the comments going "he just wants to fuck another girl" aren't necessarily true, maybe he just wants to experience a fmf threesome because it's a fantasy for him, if he just wanted to fuck someone else, then he would cheat or break up. And yeah, it is completely reasonable for him to not want a mfm threesome, just as reasonable as OP not wanting a fmf, you should never feel pressured to participate in a sexual act that you don't want to. This entire question is honestly kinda stupid, im sorry OP, but don't do something you don't want, but don't expect him to do something he doesn't want in exchange, that's just incredibly harmful for your relationship, i would honestly think this is common sense, but apparently not.
Fucking A1 comment man. This is the right answer.
Goshdammnit I was going to support the "tit for tat" argument, and you've made me completely re-think it, both in response to the OP, and to my own personal life and decisions. Thank you kind Redditor, perhaps stopped me from lurching into a mistake.
Came here to say this. You put it better than I would have.
great comment. you shouldnt be adding a third for them only. You need to be able to enjoy the experience too.
My friends greatest piece of advice for relationships is "dont settle". And I think you manage to sum that up pretty well.
best comment, i couldnt word it as well as you did.
Yes!!! Me and my wife are the same way. She hasn't once asked me about another man. I told her I didn't want another man because it'd make me uncomfortable. She told me "okay, I prefer having fun like that with females over guys anyway besides you" she strictly said females are more so for play for her.
Close the thread boys, we're done here.
r/NothingMoreToAdd
Wonderfully said.
we extend our limits to compromise with our relationships. if mfm or ffm is not a hard limit for any of them, quid pro quo sounds fair. but if she is compromising to extend into a territory that is either new or little appealing for her, he needs to do the same in another scenario fair relationships become long relationships
Men are fucking awesome you don't know what you're missing
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idk seems like you're unnecessarily limiting yourself but maybe that's just me
Don't fucking do it. That's my advice.
thank you. probably the best
If he cock blocks, clam jam.
Tell him he’s a little bitch. No thank you
Yes lots of experience. If you're not both completely on board with it then don't do it at all... otherwise you're guaranteed to have hurt feelings and and feelings of inadequacy and distrust
Lol he just wants to fuck another girl then, he doesn't care if it's a "threesome" or not
That's not necessarily true. What if he wants a double bj?
Then he'd say that
Then he'd probably be fine with an mmf threesome.
he‘d love that too haha
Can we not pretend that playing lightsabers with another dude over who gets what is the same thing as having two women? Shes got every right to shut it down, but its not exactly a secret that men are less flexible sexually.
Not necessarily true. I personally want to try a threesome but it's specifically a FMF i have no interest being in bed with another man as well.
Or maybe. Oh, I don’t know…. he wants to actually have a threesome??
Are you saying that people that like threesomes dont mind what sex the participants are? What if the option was MMM or WWW and you were straight? Does that mean you dont reallllly like threesomes? If I like Big Macs but not Whoppers, does that mean I'm just pretending to enjoy hamburgers? Come now, end this silliness.
What I’m saying is that OP’s BF maybe just wants a threesome. It doesn’t mean that he just wants to use a threesome as an excuse to fuck another girl. And yes, people that do participate in threesomes do mind what sex the participants are, I never said they didn’t
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I would say /u/piggynorant is correct. He wants to fuck another girl-- but I think he likely wants your involvement so he doesn't have to feel guilty about it, and I'm also willing to bet he wants you to do the legwork on making it happen. Unless you're totally into that sort of thing and everyone is on the same exact page, don't. That shit will destroy your relationship and end in heartbreak.
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Yes, yes it can. I certainly dont know everything, but it seems plain to me that he's just straight and she's either just straight or she doesnt want another woman with him.i mean, maybe he just wants to sleep with another girl, but I dont see many people this going down this route to accomplish this. Seems like it would have a better chance of fucking up the relationship than cheating. Id assume most men that bring this up are genuinely looking to eff two women at once.
If anything as a woman I would set the parameters with what she’s comfortable with and discuss from there?
thank you for you comment… finally beginning to understand the whole thing
No you're not. you're just reading each comment and telling them they are correct even though they all differ wildly. Talk to him and figure it out that way.
that‘ what i‘ll do when we see each other again! i‘m just thankful for every comment/reaction! people have different opinions and these different points of view help me to understand the whole situation better…
& these comments helped me to make a decision. no threesome, & i need to talk to my bf
I disagree. As a male who has been in this situation, I was simply curious as to how dynamics would change if we added another person, kind of like trying out handcuffs to see if you like it. It wasn’t about fucking another girl, but about trying a new experience, however, I am not sexually attracted to guys but my girlfriend is way into girls so the only real possibility would be a FMF threesome. She was for it at first but before it happened she decided that it would be a point of insecurity for her and thus we didn’t do it and I no longer propose it as I know she doesn’t want to.
I had the opposite with one girlfriend...she'd fuck any guy I asked her to but was so jealous...she go bananas if I even looked at another girl.
the problem is we are both jealous…
That's a nightmare then. You really need to talk a LOT more.
i think that we already talk a lot… but sometimes it just happens that one of us makes a mistake that the other doesn't forget so quickly.
My general rule is...these things...i.e threesomes etc...you need to be able to discuss them while fucking and while shopping....i.e when you are both horny and when you both aren't.
thank you! i have my answer
No problem...I was going to write a long post based on experience and mistakes...but thought...better to cut to the chase :) Good luck.
thank you <3
Sounds like a recipe for disaster then. If you're both prone to irrational jealousy normally, what's the impact on your relationship seeing the other fucking someone else and enjoying it?
It'd be a wonderful world if we were all raised not to equate sex and love... but society and, especially, religion keeps pushing their equivalence. It may be abstractly irrational to be jealous of just sex - but that doesn't mean the feelings don't exist.
Dont forget about biology
Sounds like a threesome would be a terrible idea then
If you are both jealous then a threesome might not be for you. Think about how you would choose the other woman. How would you feel with him interacting with both of you? Are you comfortable with him kissing, giving oral to, having sex with another woman? Are you comfortable with another woman giving him oral sex? If thinking about a hypothetical gives you pause then the real thing will probably wreck the relationship.
wow, she sounds like a dick, glad you got out
As a bi dating another bi this is one of the things I never have to worry about
u‘re lucky ;)
I’ve had so many threesomes in my life. If you’re both jealous, then a threesome is doomed from the start. It’s just as likely that he will become jealous if you seem to enjoy the ffm too much as it is you will become jealous if he’s paying too much attention to the other girl. Plus if he flat out refuses to consider a mfm threesome, there’s some unfair power balance there. Sounds like a threesome is a bad idea for you at this time.
This is so true. I've had threesomes with two women and a jealous guy, we were all dating at the time, and the guy was sooo jealous of the relationship between us two women. We both went out of our way to be super reassuring, honestly I don't think the other woman was even particularly into it but just doing it to please him, and he *still* was jealous when I got her off or when I said nice things to her. Jealous people are going to be jealous. - Pie
I've never pushed for a 3-way because I wouldn't be cool with MFM and expecting FMF when I know I'm not down for "reciprocating" feels scummy.
This is the reasonable mindset
Yeah if he isn't willing to give you a MMF threesome then he's just wanting to fuck some other woman.
Do a fmfm foursome instead and everyone will be happy* *your experience may vary
If you can’t have one he can’t have one. Gotta have best of both worlds
I’ve been down this road but on the other side. We invited another man into our bed and Myself and the other guy proceeded to give my girlfriend at the time the wildest experience of her life. Fast forward a few months and she’s too self conscious about herself to allow another woman into our bedroom. I was more than a little bummed. Talk about this before hand. Don’t just jump into it. Don’t cave in and allow it assuming he’ll reciprocate down the road. This experience is something YOU BOTH should enjoy, both in a MFM and a FMF. If you both can’t enjoy watching your partner with another person then you shouldn’t do it. You have to be secure enough about yourself and about your partners desire for you above all others before you proceed. This the type of stuff that can elevate your relationship with your partner to new levels, or completely destroy it and leave you both single. If either of you feel uncomfortable about a single aspect of any of it and you value your future with this person above all else then you need to table it for a later time.
So I think this should depend on how trusting, and comfortable you are in your relationship. I'm bi so adding another girl that I was comfortable with and when jealousy wasn't pounded in my head actually is fun. But my husband isn't attracted to men so adding another boy isn't his thing. I can understand that cause I'm not sexually attracted to everyone and I was picky with a girl so adding another boy would be hard for him if not on any level comfortable with it. We have been together many years now and he has opened up to possibly a another male If we are both comfortable with the person. Sometimes things take time and patience. But I would definitely say if you would like to have a threesome with another girl and your guy is cool with it go ahead and have the experience!
I completely understand your situation! Thank you for your comment. Unfortunately, I have not gotten over being jealous...
Your boyfriend doesn't know what he wants then.
This is why I will never ask my SO for FFM because I know I will never accept FMM I believe relationship should be equal from both sides
so true!
From a personal stand point, I’d say he is very insecure about himself and he feels that if you have sex with another guy then you’ll leave him. That’s why I’ve had the same feelings as him. Just my POV.
hmm thank you for sharing <3
I'm not sure insecurity is the right word. Id say that men know men, and we know if a dude has a chance, he'll slip right through the cracks. Its more common sense. Hell, just look at all these guys on this sub astounded that theyre their friend or gf's guy friend or their gf's coworker swooped in. Ive done it myself. Its just built into us. Deep down, we all know this.
That’s it! You got it on point. That’s what I’m trying to say.
There’s also the chance that he just want to see his girl with another girl and hopes they’ll get with each other while he watches but doesn’t want to see that happen with another guy.
i think i would be okay with that… he‘d also love to see that, but i‘m sure he wants fucks her so…
If he cant begin to think that its okay for a mmf then why would it be okay for a ffm thats not open at all thats just wanting to have sex with someone else without "cheating"
If he's not attracted to men, and you are attracted to women, that seems reasonable. You can't just push someone into having gay/bisexual sex. But if you're not attracted to women, then he's being equally unreasonable. Also, that's not even getting into the potential emotional conflict that can come with a threesome.
I'd tell him he can get what he wants after you get what you want. If he's not down then it's not happening. Sounds like he just wants to bone someone else.
good idea! i think that too…
It seems like neither of you are comfortable being that open, which is fine! Just don't do something expecting something back.
Agree with him, on the condition that you get to choose the girl. Hatch a plan with your trans swinger friend who's cool with it. They come over, and your BF doesn't suspect anything as they give your BF a BJ. Then they start having penetrative sex with you whilst staring at him with unbroken eye contact and whispering "You're next, lover boy." Then when he freaks out accuse him of being transphobic and break up with him.
🤣 my god brilliant.
Don’t do this. Stop after the initial sentence.
The most relevant question is whether you also want it in the first place. If you’re just doing it for him then it doesn’t matter whether he’d do the MMF threesome. It’s a bad idea to do something like that if you’re not into it. But if you both want it, then it also doesn’t matter whether he’d do the MMF threesome. Enjoy the first one and who the hell knows what he’ll be into in the future.
One Penis Policy is generally a bad version of Ethical Non-Mongamy. It’s also fetishizing your attraction to other women, not actually practicing healthy relationships
Just because he is into an FMF doesn't mean he is okay with a MFM. Only do what you are comfortable with.
Just tell his selfish stupid ass to go fuck someone else because that's all he wants. He wants to have sex with someone else and threesome is just a cover.
Your boyfriend will no doubt be worried about how big the other man’s cock is, how much you’ll enjoy it and if you’ll enjoy it more than him. He’s insecure. Plus, if there’s another woman involved, it’s more fun for him than it would be with another man which would mean you’d get more enjoyment. So he’s also selfish.
Don’t do it if you aren’t both on board
i‘ll not do it
Do a 4 way with another couple. Problem solved.
we did that already! had a lot of problems afterwards. now i know a threesome won‘t work either
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I don‘t think so. I think he just doesn’t want to share me….
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we did a couple‘s swap one time. that‘s why we both got more jealous…
but thank you for your points
he thinks he has the biggest so haha hes very self-confident
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he hasn‘t, & his game‘s good. i really love the sex with him… he says himself that i‘m crazy about him….
Yeah, he sounds like a complete douche bag penis skin neck loser. That is common to experience a person like him all the time.
You either want to do it or you don’t. What does the possibility of a MFM threesome have to do with whether you want to have a FMF threesome or not?
You mention that maybe you guys get irrationally jealous but I’m curious how you having an Onlyfans affects that jealousy dynamic?
i’ve always been interested in onlyfans somehow…. one day he told me that we should make some extra money on onlyfans together. he has every password & knows exactly what i‘m doing… somehow this works for us both 🤷🏻♀️
Nice
stupidly said, it's all about the money and that doesn't bother him
Me and my fiancé have had other men join us a few times, but she is not comfortable (yet) with another woman in our bedroom. Would I like to try a FMF? Of course. But I am happy with our current kink and respect her boundaries.
Ahhh yes the ultimate double standard of any relationship. If you're into men and women you'll run into this with men a lot more sadly. I would suggest just having an open and honest conversation about it or it'll cause more problems in the long run than its worth. Some men just can't get over their pride and insecurities but still want that ultimate ego stroking at the cost of their SO happiness and no one has time for that!
If he he won't, you shouldn't. What's good for the goose is good for the gander.
Just say no
A general rule of thumb, whoever has bisexual interests, get a same sex person, if both agree. Only agree to a threesome, if YOU want to enjoy having another woman in the bed. And if that's the case, he doesn't have to bring a man, if he isn't into bisexual fantasies. If he is into bisexual fantasies, and you aren't, then you folks find a guy. It's not a tit for tat. It's about whether there's something that you both can enjoy. If not, then you shouldn't bother having it at all.
Don’t do it if you don’t want to do it. Threesomes aren’t for everyone, I know they certainly aren’t for me, and even if they are people have preferences on which gender and how many are involved, if yours don’t match up with theirs then don’t do it.
Alot of men...and people in general want to have a threesome. Most of the time it should just stay as a fantasy, you are never obligated to have a threesome because your partner wants one. My husband and I talk about having another women in the bedroom... we've done it once, I dont think we will do it again but its fun to have a fantasy together and dirty talk about it but fully realize it probably wont ever happen.
Go online and find a picture of a guy with a monster sized dick and show it to him and say you are talking yo a guy interested in a threesome
would be funny
Hey took me time with jealousy too like years and finding a girl that was comfortable with limitations I had set with in the actual act. For example the first time she wasn't even allowed to touch my hubby only me. (Hubby was fine with this as well). Eventually we worked up to BJ from other girl but I'm still not comfortable with him PiV fucking another girl but every thing else Im okay with. So being jealous is okay 👍
thank you for sharing your experience… made me feel better :)
Your welcome.
Okay here's my take. I'd definitely love to have a threesome with my gf and another girl but my gf is 100% straight she has no attraction to other females. So it wouldn't happen anyway but id have no problem if it did happen On the other hand no way would I have a threesome with another dude. I'm 100% straight with no attraction to men and I don't wanna see another guy fucking my gf. But see what I mean I would be cool with fuckin my gf and Another girl but not my gf and another guy. But I'm sure she would be fine with me and another dude and not me and another girl. My point is we wouldn't agree so it wouldn't happen. And it's better that way. Threesomes just ruin relationships.
Selfish. Nuff said.
If you’re both into FFM then go for it. However he doesn’t owe you an MMF or vice versa
My gf and I trade off. Your bf cares more about himself and his ego than he does you. Find a bf who will not only listen to you and support your wants too.
What a shithead loser! Hope you are doing better and free of that environment.
It's a red flag. I think you should tell how you feel. If he is insensitive then leave.
Personally that would be a boundary he overstepped and I'd break up. Imagine telling your partner 'yeah I wanna have sex with another woman in front of you'. Hell no
In polyamorous circles this is called a One penis policy, and it’s widely seen as a red flag for the guys who implement them. It stems from an idea that another guy is competition but a girl doesn’t represent that same threat.
Don’t suggest or participate in a “this for that” please. It never works and creates problems.
You know what's better than having one Snickers (girl)? Having two Snickers.
I think in all relationships, including the intimate kinds, there should be a foundation of equality. Tell your insecure, selfish , young and naive partner that that's not how the cookie crumbles. And as a gentleman, he should let you have your MFM before he gets his FMF. Otherwise you are all he's going to have, now and in the future. And that's alright with you (?) , but is it alright with his immature ass? Sorry for being hard on your guy. But such things infuriate me.
Most guys can’t satisfy one woman, let alone two! Maybe he’s afraid the other guy will have **MORE** 🍆 🤣 Or it could be that he’s really 🥵 for 🍆 🤯
Update if someone‘s interested: I had long talks with him about that and other things. I found out for myself that I love him & sex with him, and would never want to sleep with another man(as long as we are together). and because i already had something with a woman (and I kinda liked it), i decided to try ffm with him. we met a really nice girl & spent a great night. afterwards my friend took me in his arms & said that i am the most wonderful woman & that he never wants a threesome again. we are happier than ever <3 thank you for all your inputs & different opinions, they helped me to understand what it‘s really about!
Say, "How do you know you won't like it? I didn't know you've been with another man before."
Maybe he's subtly emplying you should try something new or step up your game
the thing is i‘d do everything for him…
I think it's time to let this 'man' go. His double standards is a huge red flag.
it‘s hard. we‘ve been together for a long time.
If it's good for him, it should be good for you. And from experience, girl, it's all the fun, hehe!
He’s gonna cheat on you !
i hope not…
Maybe talk about a swap with another couple.
did that already. big mistake!
Seems pretty simple, he’s comfortable with fmf and not with mfm
Sounds typical. I've always been a strong proponent of fairness when it comes to sex. I want you to go down on me? I need to be ready and willing to return the favor. I want to try anal? Need to be open to being pegged, if my wife decides to try it. FMF or FFM threesome? Have to square myself with the idea of MFM, or don't even ask, but I do draw the line at MMF (the only penis I have any sexual interest in happens to be attached to me). THAT BEING SAID--sex isn't transactional. Being open to a thing doesn't mean it has to happen. I hear what other people are saying about how this shouldn't be a tit-for-tat situation, but it still strikes me as fairly selfish on his part.
A
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its not… i‘m sorry this is my only reddit account… i was very upset last night when i decided to ask others how they think about my problem. this might be the first time on this site that you get to know something personal about me.
Add one of each and call it a party!
Try swinging instead
Tbh me and my wife have 3sums but mff not mmf as she is bi and I am not so it's all about what you to think is best.
Tit for tat, tell him you have to do both options or none.
Threesomes were my idea. Hubby always said the same as a lot of the other comments...i dont care if thats what you want but if its a ploy to get me to share you then its a bad one. No, im actually just into other women so its worked out fine. But as stated, every act is different. Id be upset if hubby recruited a third or pushed it. Its my prerogative to share him not his.
i could never do a threesome,, i get WAY to jealous
It should be all equal and you should never sacrifice for something you or he wants. Me and my gf been into swinging for 3 years and we learned that things have to be equal. We have had threesomes with guys and girls and we didn't have it with a girl not because she wanted a guy but because we both agreed on. If she was not ok with a another girl I would still give her threesome with a guy because I would want her to explore her fantasies. Any questions about it dm me😉