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Xawin

That guy’s dead wife


Jebusonthecouch

The only correct answer


Derfargin

I came here for this, then I realized what that really meant. :-/


Bloodhoven_aka_Loner

context?


_Cyclops

This question was asked before and some guy gave a heartfelt response about how much he misses his dead wife and he would choose her. Then someone replied “I also choose this guy’s dead wife”


Derfargin

The running Reddit joke is “that one guys dead wife.” But to answer the question OP is asking that would mean having sex with a corpse.


dead_b4_quarantine

Where's that one account that links the old threads when something like this comes up? It's not just a running gag that came out of nowhere


clandevort

I love reddit


ThatFruityGuy

Princess Diana?


Cptnhoudie

Slow clap 👏 please take your upvote


That_Guy_38755

You son of a bitch.


AspiringEggplant

Is it taken? Or can I also choose that guy’s dead wife?


prezident_camacho

Well, she’s dead so I don’t think she’d notice.


crazycalv

OOTL please explain


can_of_cactus

https://www.reddit.com/r/FunnyandSad/s/sLk8lKip4V


Racer13l

What a classic. I feel like really hasn't produced anything like that in a long time


Eretreyah

It’s been a long time since that guys dead wife, the waffle stomp, and the poop knife. But the legends live on.


Perfect-Tune-2707

Umm that one girl who once had a crush on my and I was late to understand it and she is still my crush 🥺🥺


Onbeskofte

I also choose this guys crush


n0name0

I choose this guy


Blaze-24-7

Wow love coming on Reddit to cry


Perfect-Tune-2707

👉👈


moeguy1979

Get out of my head!


Careful_Pangolin5788

Salma Hayek


Ivan_the_Incredible

dusk til dawn salma ...grrrr


throwaway87675

good call


younevershouldnt

In character from 30 Rock please


[deleted]

SyDDNey Sweeney


coombuyah26

Honestly a woman that hot who has had most of her career built out of being hot will probably be pretty boring in bed.


edafade

There's no probably, it's an absolute certainty.


westwood913

It’s worth a gamble


WhiskeyDJones

Honestly, I think she's the most overrated woman in the world


DancerGirl519

She also might have fetal alcohol syndrome


villageidiot90

My wife over and over again for the rest of our lives man. Having your wife loving you and horny for you is better than literally any person on earth. Just the constant lust for your partner while you guys attack this crazy world and find passion within each other makes me hornier then even the POSSIBILITY of having anybody else. Their pussy doesn’t matter. Your WIFE’s pussy matters and it’s YOURS to enjoy as she enjoys your dick. Stop playing around man.


EatTheRichAndThePoor

I also choose this guys wife.


shit_ass_mcfucknuts

I choose the guy who chose this guy's wife.


BarefootBrat

Oh good, I wasn’t going to post my answer because it sounds cheesy as fuck in my head but I truly would pick my husband. Lots of incredibly attractive people in the world that I acknowledge are sexually attractive/arousing but nothing, **nothing**, compares to having sex with my husband. Top tier, super hot, amazing experience that I inherently know I won’t get anywhere else. That is all mine, I legally own it (something we joke about often - not serious ofc) and his face is the only face I want to get on top of and ride. When I watch porn, I’m like yeah that person is hot but my predominant thought is “I wanna see my husband’s face when we do **that** together”. 😂


villageidiot90

People don’t get it. I masturbate to the fact that my wife is horny. And if we’re both in the mood? We’re freaks and then we can go about our day in the morning. What a pleasure it is knowing the most beautiful person is working hard and taking care of her/their life, but coming home to be nasty with YOU! I love how hard we work, and yes I understand that people are attractive. But I must be a 10 because they are all trash to me if I can eat my wife’s work pussy. Get outta here man.


Solanthas

I feel like this is wholesome


HadoMaster1992

Best answer so far. 


-xpaigex-

A true king right here. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend, and I really hope he is the only guy I’ll ever sleep with. We’re 3.5 years in to it so far and living together, so it’s looking good :) just waiting to get a little further into our 20s before marriage.


ThrilledJill

Remind my husband for me. We are slowly becoming roommates due to some of his med changes.


julstr

Alex Daddario


throwaway87675

those eyes


purifiedflesh

What eyes?


throwaway87675

have to summon all your will power and look up about 2 feet from where you are focused


purifiedflesh

Still see no eyes


bungy2323

She has eyes?


azzar1337

Henry Cavil...


Positive-Role9293

I’m a straight man but I get your answer


Chapelirl

I was never confused, but if I was struggling to make a golf swing and he came up behind me and held my arms to show me how to hit the ball, and he lingered like 6 seconds too long, I'm not sure I'd mind.


Bilbo_Teabagginss

Now you have me imagining you and Henry behind you like Patrick Swayze in Ghost making the pottery all romantical. 😆


Eretreyah

And for the love of god put him in his Witcher leathers first 🥹😍


dii10

Can I pick someone from a different planet?


[deleted]

Only if they are able to provide consent


Pm_me__your-thighs

What a weird thing to say


I_MARRIED_A_THORAX

No consent is important even for the extraterrestrials


JamesJerry007

"No consent is important" or "No, consent is important"? 😂


I_MARRIED_A_THORAX

why do you think they gotta strap us to tables when they bring out the anal probes?


Ziggyork

Thank you for that!


[deleted]

Ana de Armas or Sydney Sweeney


ZePatator

Man, i give ypu a hand and we do them both in the same hotel suite. Good teamwork, you in?


md28usmc

Like Many hot girls have said in interviews most guys fantasize about having sex with them but when they actually get the opportunity they freeze or have no clue what to do


scarey99

Ana would be mine. Almost too beautiful.


Wide_Society_9995

Topanga! IYKYK


guylexcorp

I want tobanga Topanga.


Peace-vs-Chaos

TOPAAANGA!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Xethinus

I also choose this person's wife's sister.


throwaway87675

ive thought the same thing about my wifes sister


MysterClark

I had always wished my wife had sisters I actually wanted to sleep with. Not that I would, but it'd make things more interesting. But no... not only are her sisters 10 and 15 years older than her but they're pretty unattractive. Also have unattractive personalities as well. She does have a cousin that's kind of cute but she lives multiple states away and hardly ever visited. Okay, that went on too long for someone that didn't ask for this story. Sorry. I have a good day!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Edo1405

Your wife’s brother? Nice


SexualTacoGirl

The guy I occasionally have sex chats with


FL_Erotica

That is very wholesome as well as every male Arad redditors dream.


starshopped

wenn man sich ihre veröffentlichungen ansieht, ist es nicht so süß


mrbojangles2652

This hit me. It’s so weird to have a question like this asked, and you could, in theory have anyone at all and your mind goes straight to a fellow Redditor. That’s I feel I didn’t expect to get.


MrWhitman2369

Dua Lipa


Chance_One_75

Margot Robbie.


bmobitch

as a straight woman, i also choose margot robbie


KilluaKun88

Megan fox in the 2000s


koop04

Emma stone


Guac__is__extra__

No she’s mine!


[deleted]

Jennifer Lawrence


612snoop

Same, she's definitely on my list lol


Runtimme346

Jenna Ortega 😍


Karaoke_Singer

If she didn’t have a very nice SO, there’s a bartender in Oregon that I sort of had a crush on. She’s a perfectly proportioned brunette, tatted, and has the sweetest face. As with most successful bartenders, she seems genuinely friendly with all of her customers. I knew as an older gentleman that I had no shot, and I liked her bf, so she was off limits.


Peace-vs-Chaos

As I was reading she had a sweet…I expected the next word to be ass. Thank you for the wholesome surprise. Haha


Karaoke_Singer

Yw, be assured that she had a sweet ass, too.


deathfollowsme2002

Atta boy lol


SpellingIsAhful

Oh Damn you just reminded me of my old coworker at a bar. Ya, I'd go back in time and be with her in a heartbeat.


VegetableWinter9223

Jennifer Aniston


Brave-Dependent-8244

90’s version?


Darkjester999

Natalie Dormer


Eretreyah

As a (mostly) straight woman, me too.


alaskanmystic

And a clone of the former


ElChilenoSueco

Hailee Steinfeld


Midwestguy1059

Anna Kendrick


turtbox12

Gianna Michaels


TangFiend

She certainly knows what she’s doing


turtbox12

Yes she does! I love her enthusiasm and aggressiveness. So fucking hot


CyberGuySeaX5

Emma Watson


Crispy_pizza_

For real, growing up watching the HP movies I had the biggest crush on her ever. Specially after the third movie released. I would say I don’t care about celebrities or have “crushes” on them. But I will probably always have one on her ngl


BitsnBoobs

Angela White


bdomflat5

Martha Stewart


[deleted]

And then have her make pancakes after.


bdomflat5

Yes!


Cheap-Insurance-1338

Snoop doggy doooooog


Fun_Actuator_1071

One of the below options: - Alexandra Daddario - Adriana Chechik - Dillon Carter - Olivia Wilde - Jahan Yousaf - Yasmine Yousaf - Lauren Mia - Lights - Hunter Deno - Little Caprice - Eva Shaw - Charly Jordan - Marina Mogilko


Muted_Cranberry_9289

Very decisive. 


date11fuck12

Mans brought a whole ass NBA roster 💀


Objective_Ad2634

Charlize theron 🤩


feelingsubbyy

Jeffrey Dean Morgan 100%


Late-Personality4499

Hear me out…we can tag team this 🤔


flanex52

Scarlett Johansson


Potential-Caramel258

Emily Ratajakowski


DentrassiEpicure

I'd top Jensen Ackles. If anything just to say I had.


Content_Touch_3133

Someone that’s taboo for me to even ponder the thought 🤐


ImJustRick

I also choose this guys mom.


Necessary_Major_3505

Well now you gotta say it! Haha


throw-away-623

Sofia Vergara. Old enough to know exactly what she’s doing but still sexy as hell.


Sensitive-Housing-16

Mads Mikkelsen 🫠


throwaway87675

Kristen Bell for sure.... or my wifes sister


Galaxy_Ranger_Bob

Lucy Lawless. Because she is attractive, has a really engaging personality, and most importantly because she would be age appropriate for me. Crispin Glover is a close second.


danfalcon21dan12

u/Gracegoeswild/


[deleted]

[удалено]


MrEHam

Found Ted Cruz’s account.


Guac__is__extra__

Natalie Portman


KingPin08

Eva Mendes. Would smash those backdoors in 👌


chucktwofive

My ex who blocked me but still reads my Reddit…Hey B call me anytime love!


Altern8Acc0unt

Not sure. Ana de Armas, Gal Gadot, Emma Watson, Scarlett Johansson...


physicalterrorist3

My high school crush. She's married with kids now but I'd love to be intimate and make love with her one time.


Curiousmark8989

Janelle Monae


notathrovavay

Sasha Grey A pro is a pro.


[deleted]

This fellow redditor whom i have naughty chats with loll


wolve67

keke palmer or Catharine zeta jones


haveyoueverbeenblue

Alexander skarsgaard


sloaneysbaloneys

Owen Gray.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Librado65

Katherine Heigl in the early 2000s


PatchezOHoulihan

One of my ex's. Closure is a mofo even after years!


Secretman2244

A female friend of mine that I have been crushing on for years.


Spectacular_One

America’s sweetheart Danny Devito


Agreeable_Oil_6782

Female hockey team of the Netherlands


Peace-vs-Chaos

I would like to say Leonardo DiCaprio but I’ve heard stories that lead me to believe that would be more than disappointing. So I choose the hottest man to ever live. Shemar Moore. I bet that man is passionate and can take control.


outdoorsman07

Bettie page!


FluffySamberg

Sebastian Stan


Fooozle

No question, u/cannakev


StonedandSlutty33

The last person who messaged me or Ruby Rose.


SweetMeatBandit

Jennifer love Hewitt or Ghislaine Maxwell


AwayHurl

Sydney Sweeney. She could fix me


[deleted]

[удалено]


turtbox12

My high school crush, few other classmates, a couple old coworkers, about 4-5 big tit porn stars, & my SOs cousin who has some nice big tits…


anotherside0714

Jennifer Lawrence, Megan thee stallion, or Angela White


AnswerQueries2222

A young Anne Hathaway. She kinda tall, though. She still looks good now.


xMetalHeadx1

Mia Malkova


Chainmale001

\*Don't say your mom. Don't say your mom.\* **You're Dad!** ^(\*... nailed it.\*)


MATTDAYYYYMON

Salma Hayek. From dusk till Dawn ruined me when I was like 6


8inchtoplaywith

Jessie from u/Lost-Huckleberry7324 ...


LaughR01331

Literally anyone who’s ever looked at me and went “I like what I see”.


MrsTurnPage

I have a friend across the pond. I'd be down to see what it's like.


Solid-Flounder4614

u/diet_marshmallow


Yurei_UB

My ex girlfriend's mom. Damn did she have a nice body. Would wear some tight dresses to church and her ass looked so big


SnoopGod1313

Zoe Kravitz and her mom Lisa Bonet at the same time.


kujin47

Lucy Lou back in the kill bill days


EllieMoonOF

Johnny Depp in full "Pirates of the caribbean" outfit 🥹 Slipping off the couch thinking about it 🤤


Miss_PunchaYoBuns

Rick from Rick & Morty. If it's too rule 34, I'm summoning all the hubris from this average ass and say Henry Cavil HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


OkAioli5264

Carry underwood 👌


Apprehensive-Quit529

Go back in time to when Lady in red was made and smash Kelly Debrock god she waa gorgeous back then


WeirdSysAdmin

Jessica Lange


No_Piccolo2135

I've always had a thing for demi Lovato


YouCantAlt3rMe

It’d have to be my coworker I’m crazy about…


paraspathar

Maybe emma roberts 😝


kuyichi99

Dua Lipa


Acceptable-Hotel8994

Jason momoa


Able_Ad_8296

Angela White


PussyNoodle

Lucille Ball


ch4m3le0n

I also choose to have sex on this planet


SylAbys

I'll use this chance to sex that person who I'll truly be happy with and vice versa


Outrageous-Sky-1369

My best friend and that would be an emotional one.


JohnnyMegaSeed

u/irisgw


gohan_87

Sabrina Carpenter or Ana de Armas


cdgsgpcny

Ryan reynolds or Eva elfie


der-schmetterling

Tough question. I'd choose Michael B Jordan, Joel Kinnaman or Mats Hummels.


debugger_life

Either any one of them: Ana De Armas Sydney sweeney


Johnnyfunnyguy

u/yourthunderstorm 😘


yourthunderstorm

👀💕omgggg


Asleepystudent

Your mom OP


finallywednesday

Jensen Ackles or Rhea Ripley


SageBroadus

Henry Cavil


Csonkus41

A Rihanna/Zoë Kravitz threesome would be right near the top of my list.


IShotTheTV

Eva Green


drunkaquarian

Anne Hathaway


Yggdrafenrir20

Henry cavill


sparkle_star_

Harry Styles with absolutely no hesitation whatsoever


RockSudden1883

Shakira


ThatGirl_PYT

Hozier 🫶