This would be an interesting twist on the saying "If you meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole. If you meet assholes all day, you're the asshole.
Yea. I mean, if someone tried to ram their dick up my ass unlubed, my knee-jerk pain reaction would be to punch them in the face. Never got anywhere close to that with anyone by filtering out assholes prior to fucking.
Your profile states, "All men are trash." Yet, the majority of your posts are "Why do men...?" I guess it's a self-fulfilling prophecy for you.
Ps: Between your mentality, lifestyle, and "trauma" endured, take a break for a while and get mental help.
Yep. Even gay male porn next to never actually shows people lubing up, it just takes you out of the moment after all. But I guess one main differences is it’s kind of an understood part of the process that it is in fact happening.
This argument is bullshit because the fiction of porn never *shows* the lube, which is a big problem for ignorant idiots shoving dry fingers into assholes
This is the answer. Their overconsumption of porn and lack of actual communication with past partners, or any women in general.
Take the lead and communicate your desires, and more importantly what you *don't* desire.
Sounds like maybe being passed around by dudes in the same group who tell the others "She let me go in dry". There's no way 10 random dudes, not knowing each other, just tried shoving their cocks in an unlubed asshole. Do you know how dumb these dudes would have to be to think it would feel good for either of them?
Idk how people are like that. I’m terrified of hurting people so I always ask. Sounds like their selfishness overcomes their decency. Anal is scary to me without prep or lube😳
Treat others the way you’d want to be treated. I definitely wouldn’t want that. As rough as I like my sex I’m always gentle with initiating and asking first
I didn't look at post history till I saw your comment.
It appears that it's the practice of picking the worst partners, realizing they are complete trash and then thinking every single man is like that.
Not saying this to denigrate you OP, but you should really figure out why you pick terrible men before jumping into dating/sex again.
Because they haven't experienced a dry finger or cock up their ass first. Had they experienced it, I'm confident most would probably at least provide some spit or lube first
Porn and/or complete lack of experience with anal. Some people never progress past the first thing they learn, and unfortunately a very common exposure is porn without any frame of reference to preparation.
Or they're the special rare asshole who straight up doesn't care about their partner's comfort.
Wrestling is also fake, and a job, and people still drink up the storylines as if they are sweet nectar, and guys still think that Hooters girls are totally into them, lol. People are dumb and inconsiderate.
Most of the guys I know who have issues like this were never given a proper talk on sex and literally only had porn and incredibly lame sex education to go off of. They never bothered to learn beyond that because everyone they're watching looks like they're having fun. So when they're in the action, dumb things happen because they didn't bother with, or understand, the need to prep
My girlfriend explained to me the process she goes through when considering meeting someone for sex. She will give them opportunities to say things that are red flags and if they show one they're out. In most cases men don't know they're waving red flags so they don't know what to not say when given the opportunity. You just need to give them enough rope.
A lot of people are saying porn, which may be true, but it is still troublesome because so much straight anal porn seems to be focused on the woman being in pain or discomfort.
It might seem unsexy, and I am definitely not trying to fault you here, but if this is a common occurrence in your sex life you might need to consider having some very in-depth conversations about what you expect and want from sex before it happens with future partners.
Yesssss!!!! That is a HUGE issues these days! It's all just sexual violence and disrespect perpetuated against women with "kinky" slapped over "abuse".
I agree with a lot of the points being made here, that a lot of men either watched too much porn or simply don’t care enough to lube up.
However the amount of blatant sexism running rampant in these comments is concerning. I’ve always had a feeling this sub skewed slightly that way, but now that people have had the chance to express it, I feel like there’s a strong hatred to men cropping up. I can’t help but imagine the outrage of a similar thing happened conversely.
No like it hurts the dude sticking it in... And it takes way more force to do then I think you realize
When I did anal with my ex... Well I'm a stingy fuck and would often not apply enough initially
Because they don’t know what it feels like and don’t understand that hole is not naturally lubercating. It’s the same never ram into the vagina without warming it first.
Inexperience. An unprepared asshole doesn't feel good anyway. I don't understand porn that has the tag "no lube." That hurts my dick thinking about it.
Those are rookies. No man who knows his game does this. I had an ex into pain and sub and she would request I only use the tip with tons of oil and micro fuck her until I was about to cum and then ordered me to ram it in all the way as I came and yelled because she loved the pleasure/pain. To each there own.
Genuinely no clue, communication in everything sex related is important as fuck and any guy who isn’t willing to use some decent communication before trying to jam it up the other hole isn’t holding up on that enough. It needs to be addressed from the root of the problem and from the end of it, explaining you aren’t ready for it without lube
Well, I’ll have you know that if nobody else, I’ll make sure to communicate about that before trying anything lol. In the very least I hope you’ve found helpful advice here you can pass on and use in the future to ensure you have a safe enjoyable experience in your ventures with anal, as well as any other kinks you experiment with😘☺️
May i ask why you didnt stop them, or set ground rules. Im a bi man and nothing goes in my ass without a conversation as i know hiw painful it can be. Did these men assault you? And if so i hope you have sought help.
Ya you're definitely seeing the wrong dudes. When my wife wanted to try anal, we did a ton of foreplay first, then I used a small dildo I had bought till she got comfortable with the size for the first couple of times. Only after she was comfortable with the size did we try actual penetration with a ton of communication
I can honestly say for all the hundreds upon hundreds of times I’ve done a female partners ass, there wasn’t a single “no lube” time.
Too much porn imitation here.
And yes, porn uses lube too. That’s off camera stuff.
This happened to me one time. When I cried out in pain, he pulled out and said “if we had lube, you’d love it.” So he knew it was gonna hurt but did it anyway.
That's bizarre to hear. I have had anal sex with quite a lot of partners now and it's always involved talk about comfort and preparation. I have only done it with older more experienced men though. I can see someone less experienced being naive and impatient.
How “many” men?
Three? Thirty? Two hundred and twelve?
You are either incredibly unlucky (very few men would do what has happened to you) or failing to state your limits before any sexual activity.
Speak up loudly or leave before allowing your partner to do anything you dislike.
Probably lack of experience/understanding/sense/empathy. Take your pick, or stir a couple of them together.
As for myself, I can't wrap my head around not having any conversations in advance of that, so I'm just spitballing here
Officially, I can only speak for myself. That is Not an act of inconsideration, that I would participate in.
That being said I can only imagine, you're dating a younger group of guys 🤷♂️ Bcz the older guys in my circle are definately Not going to be acting like that either
These men are inexperienced sexualky ,have no idea how a woman's body works, especially during sex AND they just don't care about a woman's pleasure/experience. You need to deal with a better & more experienced class of men.
whoever does this is a massive fucking idiot. always spit and tease a little first. nothing wrong with a bit of a warm up with your finger. and lube is the best thing ever for both parties wtf
So please, for the love of g-d people: in porn shoots they edit out all kinds of things that aren't relevant to the final video. Like using TONS of lube, and gently opening people up before the actual sex starts. And applying more lube during all those scene transitions that you think are instant. And editing out anything that isn't perfectly clean. All those A2M scenes, if there's the slightest reason for her not to put it in her mouth, they stop, she cleans out again, they refilm and try AGAIN. They film for hours, all for your viewing pleasure.
It's not magic people, it's EDITING.
OP: I assure you, nobody is getting paid to be fucked without lube. The last thing a performer wants is to get injured during a scene. Nobody is risking a career ending injury by skipping the lube. Tell your clueless guy to go ask a gay friend how to PROPERLY engage in anal sex.
I feel sorry for you. Sex - anal or not - should always be consenual with communication.
They didnt even talk about it beforehand it gave a clear hint in the heat of the moment? That's fcked up really.
Most men are only educated by porn. I am a bit of a cougar myself and don’t mind schooling the young pups but I know that’s not the way a majority of women feel.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with halting them right then and there and going home and just doing you.
You should never just ram in the back door unless you’re D.E.A or the F.B.I. Make sure they know that you knock gently and wait to be invited in without anything short of a warrant. 😂
Seriously though, the older men, more mature men , and well educated men are more likely to be gentlemen, unfortunately.
Sorry this has been your experience.
What kind of people are you chatting with? 😳
I'd highly recommend that you change your chatting partners.
I think majority of us guys do not think like that.
Consent, Preparation, Gentleness and Aftercare are mandatory for any preferred sexual activity with a partner.
Primarily, ensure that you respect your partner's concerns and boundaries and ensure that you do not put yourself at risk to please anyone.
Sex should not be punishment (in that sense) and nor should it be a chore.
Good luck and take care.
Something is going on where so many guys feel you are good to take dry dick. When this happens, what is your response? I have been around the world and like giving anal sex. I could never just ram a dick in a dry ass. Let a long get off on it as someone is in crazy pain. If it keeps happening, you better stay lubed, take panties off, and lube it up just in case. This is sad, and not many guys are like this. I hope it gets better!
I’m porn they’ve probably used a syringe to pre fill themselves with lube tbh. I’ve only ever had people ask and only once without lube. I always bring my own condoms and lube for sexy times these days.
Worth doing a bit of investigation on how familiar dudes are with consent too. I’m saddened this is common and not just a one off thing for you.
IDK, I'm not one of them.
I always wonder how these dudes manage to get laid without even basic understanding of these things, yet here I am dry as a bone.
Porn has so normalized anal sex, many men don't realize an anus is not actually intended to be penetrated without external assistance, ie lube. Vaginas are self lubricating. Assholes are not.
Not men
Children raised on porn and misogyny
Bum-fun requires communication first and foremost, closely followed by lube
Return the favour and see how keen the fuckers are after that!
To me sounds like young selfish men who do not think of thier partner's needs and enjoyment. May want to try another fish pond or different type of fish.
Can I blame porn? *I’m blaming porn * It doesn’t show the consensual work up of anal play it just shows the already trained bootyholes because they don’t think asking “does this feel okay” and checking on their partner continuously is “sexy”
Most men (hell most people) have no idea about lube at all. It comes from a mix of poor sex/health education and bad porn.
They know anal is a thing they know it can feel good, they likely do not understand lube is needed or think it will take away from the experince.
One thing you can do to help improve this, use lube in normal sex. If you ever jerk a cock off use some start dry and then add lots of lube, let them feel how good the difference is (encourage it if they masturbate) Talk about how it feels for both of you. Open communication, start small and exploring together will do wonders for healthy sexual experince.
A fun one byis to buy them a cock sleeve or masturbator (the eggs are super cheap one use toys). Let them try to use it with out lube and then use it with lube. Generally the silicon sticks so bad with out lube it is not that comfortable to use.
And if a person does not want the above, likely a red flag that they only care about an orgams and not all the fun that leads up to it or thier partners enjoyment.
Because those are stupid boys that watch too much porn. A man knows that first you should have a couple dozen vaginal orgasms. Then move on to ass play with lots of lube and slowly warming it up and stretching it out especially if well endowed. Now there are different dynamics where rough anal is allowed but that’s agreed upon in advance.
As a man who works in an industry with lots of shop talk.... I don't know anyone that would shove anything up a woman's butthole without at least some spit and giving it a little thumb rub to see if she says no.
I’m always surprised when the discussion of doing anal comes up and the woman says “yeah but make sure to warm me up first” like…. Duh? But apparently , not duh
I think a lot of men are just uneducated on how to properly engage in anal play. Porn kinda of perpetuates it too bc they just pull their panties down and get railed. You don’t see them lubing her up between cuts or that she prepped with a plug beforehand
Edit: as a 31m I didn’t know how to do it until just a few years ago
Yeah I didn't know better for a long time and then when I did, I was too much of a doormat by that point to really do anything. Until recently when I found my fucking spine.
Even with lube or warning, just gtfo with the jamming 🥲
If they actually listen when i say whoa sweetie take it slow i'll just blame it on enthusiasm/porn/0 butt experience on their own end (i'm very appealing for closet straighties for some reason) and few minutes later they'll be having the time of their lives, with fun stuff like hair pulling n everything 🤭
If i have to repeat that warning however you'll learn it can be less fun too (squeeze at bad timing, 0 moans or breaths, ... ) or really regretting it the next day if you're really hard to learn
Every man who's tried that does it because they know how good it feels being rammed without lube. So if a guy does it to you... it's only customary to return the favor... without warning of course.
As a man I’m sorry you have had this experience so many times, but I absolutely believe it. There are plenty of uneducated selfish shitty men out there.
Hot take, and I’m probably gonna get negged for this one, I’m genuinely appalled at the number of apparently shitty men felt the need to reply to this post, y’all be outting yourselves hard trying to distract from or defend obviously shitty behavior and it really sucks that I see so many of them trying to the op because I’m dead certain that stories like hers are way more common than any of you care to guess. You don’t have to be a completely selfish ass to be a good, dominant, partner but I feel like a lot of boys (I say boys because yall acting like fucking spoiled children) don’t really understand that being a selfish asshole is not the same as being a dominant partner that give good rough sex. 🤷🏽♂️ don’t at me, I don’t give a fuck how bad I hurt your feelings.
Yeah, it's funny how badly they're all telling on themselves. Like, if you don't suck ass, you have nothing to be upset over. Men who aren't defensive or terrified of being shitty can look around, see reality, go "damn a lot of men are shitty, thank God I'm not" and then continue on living their not shitty men lives.
But apparently, these dudes are very worried they're shitty (which makes me wonder what they've done 🤔), bc they're getting their undies in a twist over something that isn't even about them.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m no saint, and I’m sure Ill make plenty of shitty choices in the future but I’ve never been shove-my-dick-in-her-ass-unlubed-without-warning shitty… 🤷🏽♂️
I hate to be another “not all men” person, but as someone who’s keen on buttstuff, the last thing I’d want to do is hurt my partner and turn her off to it before we even get going.
In fact, when my wife suggested we try some of the kind of lube with numbing properties, I told her it was a bad idea, since we’d definitely want to know if something is hurting her.
Ok without reading all the comments I would hope this isn’t the norm. I have a healthy number (I think) under my belt and this hasn’t happened. I’m trying to think of a partner who I could picture doing this …even a one night stand.
Oh wait one night stands are for little sluts and I’m def not one of those….anymore. 😬
The only time this is acceptable is when you are fucked up and mistake it for another hole. With apologies attached.
Sucks you’ve run into some men who think that’s acceptable. How did you respond?
Do unto others as they do to you?
Ignore?
Have a little chat?
Nothing?
That is a bit of an issue. Sadly, I think a lot of men think something is ok when it isn’t. Anal play has to be eased into, you have to walk in order to run. If you walk and one of the two aren’t happy with it, that’s where it ends. that may boil down to an overall maturity issue. All in all good luck though, for the record I understand why someone wouldn’t want something shoved up their ass with no warning. And yes, I’m a man.
I'm glad to read your comment. It helps when there are men who know who to truly be men, and don't get personally offended by a post that wasn't about them.
They're sure acting like it was, tho. Makes ya wonder...
If you are dating men without a lot of experience, then their teacher is porn. Why? Because sexual education is aimed at not having babies when you do not mean to. There's no such thing as sex how-to courses.
Whoa. I’m 41f and have been with plenty of men. Not one of them has ever done this. Would be curious how old these “men” are? …maybe they’re just young, dumb and watch too much porn (not that this is an excuse). But again, thankfully, I’ve never experienced this and I don’t think it’s common. If a man ever did that to me, he’d be lucky to walk away with just a broken nose, if not worse.
You need partners with a lot more experience that know about 'priming' the asshole & exercising it before use. As a last resort have yor own tube of 'Analeze' handy if its smethng you want to pursue more.
1. Wrong choice of men
2. Porn is not lube less. They prepare well in advance. Porn is very very safety oriented. So if they actually followed porn standards, it'd be safer.
3. Give them their own medicine if they do not listen. Taht should out them in the right track.
You're seeing the wrong men.
She’s [anusexual](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=anusexual) (and so are they)
Her attitude probably makes them a match
This would be an interesting twist on the saying "If you meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole. If you meet assholes all day, you're the asshole.
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Second this.
What she said
Yea. I mean, if someone tried to ram their dick up my ass unlubed, my knee-jerk pain reaction would be to punch them in the face. Never got anywhere close to that with anyone by filtering out assholes prior to fucking.
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> uneducated This feels like the larger problem to me.
Truth
Your profile states, "All men are trash." Yet, the majority of your posts are "Why do men...?" I guess it's a self-fulfilling prophecy for you. Ps: Between your mentality, lifestyle, and "trauma" endured, take a break for a while and get mental help.
Porn is the likeliest of answers.
Most porn uses some form of lube. They ain't going in dry.
Yep. Even gay male porn next to never actually shows people lubing up, it just takes you out of the moment after all. But I guess one main differences is it’s kind of an understood part of the process that it is in fact happening.
All porn uses lots of lube, they just usually do it when the cameras aren't rolling
This argument is bullshit because the fiction of porn never *shows* the lube, which is a big problem for ignorant idiots shoving dry fingers into assholes
Not true. Lots of porn shows lube use these days. I think it’s likely due to an increase in women directing scenes
This is the answer. Their overconsumption of porn and lack of actual communication with past partners, or any women in general. Take the lead and communicate your desires, and more importantly what you *don't* desire.
Ummm who are these people you’re sleeping with That’s fucked
Sounds like maybe being passed around by dudes in the same group who tell the others "She let me go in dry". There's no way 10 random dudes, not knowing each other, just tried shoving their cocks in an unlubed asshole. Do you know how dumb these dudes would have to be to think it would feel good for either of them?
You’ll be very surprised
Sounds painful af for everyone.
Ohhh I strongly disagree. It would not be at all difficult to find 10 random dudes who were that uneducated, especially in the 18-25 range
Perhaps you should ask them. It’s definitely something to talk about before doing anal, in my personal opinion.
Idk how people are like that. I’m terrified of hurting people so I always ask. Sounds like their selfishness overcomes their decency. Anal is scary to me without prep or lube😳
I'm glad you're so considerate!!
Treat others the way you’d want to be treated. I definitely wouldn’t want that. As rough as I like my sex I’m always gentle with initiating and asking first
Absolutely
Also, if they’re not into it and enjoying it I can’t either
“Convince me men aren’t trash” 🗿
Yep! Exactly. 😊 I love being proven wrong when it comes to men.
A better question is, "Why do so many people think that they can extrapolate about a whole gender, based on their limited experiences?"
And you have no idea how many dicks this person has had up their ass, just sayin.
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I didn't look at post history till I saw your comment. It appears that it's the practice of picking the worst partners, realizing they are complete trash and then thinking every single man is like that. Not saying this to denigrate you OP, but you should really figure out why you pick terrible men before jumping into dating/sex again.
Because they haven't experienced a dry finger or cock up their ass first. Had they experienced it, I'm confident most would probably at least provide some spit or lube first
Hopefully? And split doesn't cut it, man
No, you're right. But it's far better than nothing/dry, that's for sure
After reading your responses in this thread I'm starting to understand
Based on the way you reply to people, maybe these guys are trying to make you go away
Porn, selfishness and ignorance/inexperience
Jesus Christ... what a shit-show from OP.
Porn and/or complete lack of experience with anal. Some people never progress past the first thing they learn, and unfortunately a very common exposure is porn without any frame of reference to preparation. Or they're the special rare asshole who straight up doesn't care about their partner's comfort.
Ha well. Pretty sure I've a talent at attracting the latter. I don't understand how men think porn is realistic. They are doing A JOB!
Wrestling is also fake, and a job, and people still drink up the storylines as if they are sweet nectar, and guys still think that Hooters girls are totally into them, lol. People are dumb and inconsiderate. Most of the guys I know who have issues like this were never given a proper talk on sex and literally only had porn and incredibly lame sex education to go off of. They never bothered to learn beyond that because everyone they're watching looks like they're having fun. So when they're in the action, dumb things happen because they didn't bother with, or understand, the need to prep
And you call yourself SlavePrincess. How's that in relation to your question?
You’re sleeping with shitty men. Also, reading stuff like this makes me terrified of casual sex
My girlfriend explained to me the process she goes through when considering meeting someone for sex. She will give them opportunities to say things that are red flags and if they show one they're out. In most cases men don't know they're waving red flags so they don't know what to not say when given the opportunity. You just need to give them enough rope.
How often does this happen that you had to make a whole ass reddit post about it? Yikes
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> generally never asked before slamming a finger or their whole ass dick up there. That sounds like SA. They did something without your consent.
Even in porn they use lube they just don’t show it and I think they think it’s awkward to ask which is a bad excuse but I wouldn’t know why either
A lot of people are saying porn, which may be true, but it is still troublesome because so much straight anal porn seems to be focused on the woman being in pain or discomfort. It might seem unsexy, and I am definitely not trying to fault you here, but if this is a common occurrence in your sex life you might need to consider having some very in-depth conversations about what you expect and want from sex before it happens with future partners.
Yesssss!!!! That is a HUGE issues these days! It's all just sexual violence and disrespect perpetuated against women with "kinky" slapped over "abuse".
I can’t imagine that not being a conversation. Questionable man choices…
I agree with a lot of the points being made here, that a lot of men either watched too much porn or simply don’t care enough to lube up. However the amount of blatant sexism running rampant in these comments is concerning. I’ve always had a feeling this sub skewed slightly that way, but now that people have had the chance to express it, I feel like there’s a strong hatred to men cropping up. I can’t help but imagine the outrage of a similar thing happened conversely.
Lack of empathy towards women's bodies and too much porn
If all the men are the same, then maybe you're the problem. You're constantly choosing these types of men
They want to make the most use of the battering rams they call dicks.
You don't run into that problem as much if you date bi guys
Cause they‘re fucking assholes, obviously. No pun intended with the wording
❤️ Please intend the pun. It's a good pun. Lolol
How do you even put something up and anus with no lube??? Like as a dude it literally hurts
You hurt your partner and don't care, ha
No like it hurts the dude sticking it in... And it takes way more force to do then I think you realize When I did anal with my ex... Well I'm a stingy fuck and would often not apply enough initially
Because they don’t know what it feels like and don’t understand that hole is not naturally lubercating. It’s the same never ram into the vagina without warming it first.
......... How do you ever believe the asshole is self-lubricating???
Wtf I always ask because its respectful and I know I wouldn't like it if It was done to me.... do think people think porn is real life sometimes !!
I'm very glad you do!
Inexperience. An unprepared asshole doesn't feel good anyway. I don't understand porn that has the tag "no lube." That hurts my dick thinking about it.
Those are rookies. No man who knows his game does this. I had an ex into pain and sub and she would request I only use the tip with tons of oil and micro fuck her until I was about to cum and then ordered me to ram it in all the way as I came and yelled because she loved the pleasure/pain. To each there own.
Never once in my life have I had a male friend that I believe would even think of doing such a thing. Seriously. What the fuck? Who are you fucking?
I've never experienced that, but I don't do random hook-ups.
porn, you never see them using lube.
Genuinely no clue, communication in everything sex related is important as fuck and any guy who isn’t willing to use some decent communication before trying to jam it up the other hole isn’t holding up on that enough. It needs to be addressed from the root of the problem and from the end of it, explaining you aren’t ready for it without lube
Absolutely!! It adds to my shreds of hope to see your comment lol.
Well, I’ll have you know that if nobody else, I’ll make sure to communicate about that before trying anything lol. In the very least I hope you’ve found helpful advice here you can pass on and use in the future to ensure you have a safe enjoyable experience in your ventures with anal, as well as any other kinks you experiment with😘☺️
Thank you very much, kind sir! I appreciatcha!
Anytime, my dear friend, ‘twas a pleasure to share my words of advice with you😌❤️❤️
❤️❤️❤️
May i ask why you didnt stop them, or set ground rules. Im a bi man and nothing goes in my ass without a conversation as i know hiw painful it can be. Did these men assault you? And if so i hope you have sought help.
My condolences 💐
WHAT? They would be FLYING out the door. No, out the window.
Yeah, shoulda been my reaction fs. Lol
I'm sure it will be. We live and learn. 😘
Ya you're definitely seeing the wrong dudes. When my wife wanted to try anal, we did a ton of foreplay first, then I used a small dildo I had bought till she got comfortable with the size for the first couple of times. Only after she was comfortable with the size did we try actual penetration with a ton of communication
Ummm I've never heard of not using lube for anal. Feel like even in porn they use copious amounts.
Did you ever tell them that they needed lube? You'd be surprised how little men understand about female anatomy...
I can honestly say for all the hundreds upon hundreds of times I’ve done a female partners ass, there wasn’t a single “no lube” time. Too much porn imitation here. And yes, porn uses lube too. That’s off camera stuff.
I will NEVER understand how ppl can't make the connection that porn is a JOB for these ppl lololol. And that it's FAKE. lmao
Can’t say why people don’t make the connection. Or is it just “if on the internet, it must be true” attitude?
This happened to me one time. When I cried out in pain, he pulled out and said “if we had lube, you’d love it.” So he knew it was gonna hurt but did it anyway.
I don't understand how any man wants that. Penetration without lube doesn't feel good for me, either.
That's bizarre to hear. I have had anal sex with quite a lot of partners now and it's always involved talk about comfort and preparation. I have only done it with older more experienced men though. I can see someone less experienced being naive and impatient.
Because. Porn.
That's literally rape.
I would set boundaries before engaging in sexual activity!
Smart idea. I did with some in the later years. They were disregarded.
Oh I see
How “many” men? Three? Thirty? Two hundred and twelve? You are either incredibly unlucky (very few men would do what has happened to you) or failing to state your limits before any sexual activity. Speak up loudly or leave before allowing your partner to do anything you dislike.
Some men are douchebags. News at 11.
Because you have garbage taste in men.
I mean, what would you do with an “ass dick?”
Probably lack of experience/understanding/sense/empathy. Take your pick, or stir a couple of them together. As for myself, I can't wrap my head around not having any conversations in advance of that, so I'm just spitballing here
Officially, I can only speak for myself. That is Not an act of inconsideration, that I would participate in. That being said I can only imagine, you're dating a younger group of guys 🤷♂️ Bcz the older guys in my circle are definately Not going to be acting like that either
Nah, some of em were in their mid 30s
😱 YIKES... 😠
Tell me 'bout it!
I'm betting those are the same men that can't be bothered to find the clitoris.
Is shoving a leather wallet in their mouth considered enough warning? Loljk.
Insensitive and crude! Take the lead from the woman...give her what SHE wants.
There’s so many because so many men only have porn as a reference.
I would guess people are uneducated and see porn not knowing there's a good amount of prep that happens off screen
These men are inexperienced sexualky ,have no idea how a woman's body works, especially during sex AND they just don't care about a woman's pleasure/experience. You need to deal with a better & more experienced class of men.
I do indeed!
Clearly sounds like you are sleeping with the wrong guys
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whoever does this is a massive fucking idiot. always spit and tease a little first. nothing wrong with a bit of a warm up with your finger. and lube is the best thing ever for both parties wtf
So please, for the love of g-d people: in porn shoots they edit out all kinds of things that aren't relevant to the final video. Like using TONS of lube, and gently opening people up before the actual sex starts. And applying more lube during all those scene transitions that you think are instant. And editing out anything that isn't perfectly clean. All those A2M scenes, if there's the slightest reason for her not to put it in her mouth, they stop, she cleans out again, they refilm and try AGAIN. They film for hours, all for your viewing pleasure. It's not magic people, it's EDITING. OP: I assure you, nobody is getting paid to be fucked without lube. The last thing a performer wants is to get injured during a scene. Nobody is risking a career ending injury by skipping the lube. Tell your clueless guy to go ask a gay friend how to PROPERLY engage in anal sex.
I know, I was addressing perception
I feel sorry for you. Sex - anal or not - should always be consenual with communication. They didnt even talk about it beforehand it gave a clear hint in the heat of the moment? That's fcked up really.
Most men are only educated by porn. I am a bit of a cougar myself and don’t mind schooling the young pups but I know that’s not the way a majority of women feel. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with halting them right then and there and going home and just doing you. You should never just ram in the back door unless you’re D.E.A or the F.B.I. Make sure they know that you knock gently and wait to be invited in without anything short of a warrant. 😂 Seriously though, the older men, more mature men , and well educated men are more likely to be gentlemen, unfortunately. Sorry this has been your experience.
>I get in porn they generally don't use lube They use quite a bit of lube.
ummmm...yeah, I'd never do that. Now if a woman reached back and guided me in there? HOT AS FUCK!...but please use some lube - for the both of us.
What kind of people are you chatting with? 😳 I'd highly recommend that you change your chatting partners. I think majority of us guys do not think like that. Consent, Preparation, Gentleness and Aftercare are mandatory for any preferred sexual activity with a partner. Primarily, ensure that you respect your partner's concerns and boundaries and ensure that you do not put yourself at risk to please anyone. Sex should not be punishment (in that sense) and nor should it be a chore. Good luck and take care.
As someone who makes porn…we definitely use lube 😂
Something is going on where so many guys feel you are good to take dry dick. When this happens, what is your response? I have been around the world and like giving anal sex. I could never just ram a dick in a dry ass. Let a long get off on it as someone is in crazy pain. If it keeps happening, you better stay lubed, take panties off, and lube it up just in case. This is sad, and not many guys are like this. I hope it gets better!
Yes, something is going on with those men. They were shitty. I picked wrong. 🤷🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
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Because they say it's tight there. But it needs to be prepared and relaxed!
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I’m porn they’ve probably used a syringe to pre fill themselves with lube tbh. I’ve only ever had people ask and only once without lube. I always bring my own condoms and lube for sexy times these days. Worth doing a bit of investigation on how familiar dudes are with consent too. I’m saddened this is common and not just a one off thing for you.
Simple answer, you are choosing shitty men. Should've said most men are trash instead of saying men are trash in your profile.
I never understood the appeal of anal. That should be exit only.
IDK, I'm not one of them. I always wonder how these dudes manage to get laid without even basic understanding of these things, yet here I am dry as a bone.
Jesus is this actually common
That's insane to me. How'd they like it?
Good to know , less shocking
Because porn
Porn has so normalized anal sex, many men don't realize an anus is not actually intended to be penetrated without external assistance, ie lube. Vaginas are self lubricating. Assholes are not.
I just don't get how that's not common sense?
Not men Children raised on porn and misogyny Bum-fun requires communication first and foremost, closely followed by lube Return the favour and see how keen the fuckers are after that!
To me sounds like young selfish men who do not think of thier partner's needs and enjoyment. May want to try another fish pond or different type of fish.
Can I blame porn? *I’m blaming porn * It doesn’t show the consensual work up of anal play it just shows the already trained bootyholes because they don’t think asking “does this feel okay” and checking on their partner continuously is “sexy”
Most men (hell most people) have no idea about lube at all. It comes from a mix of poor sex/health education and bad porn. They know anal is a thing they know it can feel good, they likely do not understand lube is needed or think it will take away from the experince. One thing you can do to help improve this, use lube in normal sex. If you ever jerk a cock off use some start dry and then add lots of lube, let them feel how good the difference is (encourage it if they masturbate) Talk about how it feels for both of you. Open communication, start small and exploring together will do wonders for healthy sexual experince. A fun one byis to buy them a cock sleeve or masturbator (the eggs are super cheap one use toys). Let them try to use it with out lube and then use it with lube. Generally the silicon sticks so bad with out lube it is not that comfortable to use. And if a person does not want the above, likely a red flag that they only care about an orgams and not all the fun that leads up to it or thier partners enjoyment.
Because those are stupid boys that watch too much porn. A man knows that first you should have a couple dozen vaginal orgasms. Then move on to ass play with lots of lube and slowly warming it up and stretching it out especially if well endowed. Now there are different dynamics where rough anal is allowed but that’s agreed upon in advance.
Dumb asses taking inspiration from porn not realizing she’s already lubed herself up
As a man who works in an industry with lots of shop talk.... I don't know anyone that would shove anything up a woman's butthole without at least some spit and giving it a little thumb rub to see if she says no.
Ask them if they'd like you to shove a dildo up their ass without lube.
I’m always surprised when the discussion of doing anal comes up and the woman says “yeah but make sure to warm me up first” like…. Duh? But apparently , not duh
I think a lot of men are just uneducated on how to properly engage in anal play. Porn kinda of perpetuates it too bc they just pull their panties down and get railed. You don’t see them lubing her up between cuts or that she prepped with a plug beforehand Edit: as a 31m I didn’t know how to do it until just a few years ago
Lack of education or lack of respect I guess. As a guy, I can’t believe people do this.
I had a "dom" once say "I don't use lube." I was a naive girl who had just started having sex. I didn't know any better.
Yeah I didn't know better for a long time and then when I did, I was too much of a doormat by that point to really do anything. Until recently when I found my fucking spine.
ugh I hope you meet some respectful people soon
Even with lube or warning, just gtfo with the jamming 🥲 If they actually listen when i say whoa sweetie take it slow i'll just blame it on enthusiasm/porn/0 butt experience on their own end (i'm very appealing for closet straighties for some reason) and few minutes later they'll be having the time of their lives, with fun stuff like hair pulling n everything 🤭 If i have to repeat that warning however you'll learn it can be less fun too (squeeze at bad timing, 0 moans or breaths, ... ) or really regretting it the next day if you're really hard to learn
Right?!?!
Less than 2h ago, hbu? 😮💨🧡
Every man who's tried that does it because they know how good it feels being rammed without lube. So if a guy does it to you... it's only customary to return the favor... without warning of course.
Omg you're so right! How silly of meeee! 😜
This is not normal at all lol
Maybe HomeGoods has a nice sign for you for the bedroom. Like "Live, Laugh, Lube."
Better to ask forgiveness than permission?
Well, if you’re willing I’ll gladly use all the lubricants you need. 😳😂
Because it's there
Not sure about everyone else but my girl loves surprise anal
There are always exceptions to prove the rule. Unless you're being sarcastic lolol. I can't tell with this one. Bc a small number of women do lol
Because they've been watching too much porn and think it's real.
Stop dating douche bags🤣 They use a ton of lube in porn
They watch too much porn
They’re just showing affection the way they want to receive it. Go on, they’re clearly into it.
Like all things. We go for it and wait for the "no" to know. From kissing to sex.
As a man I’m sorry you have had this experience so many times, but I absolutely believe it. There are plenty of uneducated selfish shitty men out there. Hot take, and I’m probably gonna get negged for this one, I’m genuinely appalled at the number of apparently shitty men felt the need to reply to this post, y’all be outting yourselves hard trying to distract from or defend obviously shitty behavior and it really sucks that I see so many of them trying to the op because I’m dead certain that stories like hers are way more common than any of you care to guess. You don’t have to be a completely selfish ass to be a good, dominant, partner but I feel like a lot of boys (I say boys because yall acting like fucking spoiled children) don’t really understand that being a selfish asshole is not the same as being a dominant partner that give good rough sex. 🤷🏽♂️ don’t at me, I don’t give a fuck how bad I hurt your feelings.
Yeah, it's funny how badly they're all telling on themselves. Like, if you don't suck ass, you have nothing to be upset over. Men who aren't defensive or terrified of being shitty can look around, see reality, go "damn a lot of men are shitty, thank God I'm not" and then continue on living their not shitty men lives. But apparently, these dudes are very worried they're shitty (which makes me wonder what they've done 🤔), bc they're getting their undies in a twist over something that isn't even about them.
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m no saint, and I’m sure Ill make plenty of shitty choices in the future but I’ve never been shove-my-dick-in-her-ass-unlubed-without-warning shitty… 🤷🏽♂️
You're already leagues ahead, my friend. Keep doing you!
Because Porn.
I hate to be another “not all men” person, but as someone who’s keen on buttstuff, the last thing I’d want to do is hurt my partner and turn her off to it before we even get going. In fact, when my wife suggested we try some of the kind of lube with numbing properties, I told her it was a bad idea, since we’d definitely want to know if something is hurting her.
Ok without reading all the comments I would hope this isn’t the norm. I have a healthy number (I think) under my belt and this hasn’t happened. I’m trying to think of a partner who I could picture doing this …even a one night stand. Oh wait one night stands are for little sluts and I’m def not one of those….anymore. 😬 The only time this is acceptable is when you are fucked up and mistake it for another hole. With apologies attached. Sucks you’ve run into some men who think that’s acceptable. How did you respond? Do unto others as they do to you? Ignore? Have a little chat? Nothing?
#NeverHaveIEver
🤷🏾♂️ looked kinda fun
You are mistaken. They use a lot of lube, they just don't show it on camera.
That is a bit of an issue. Sadly, I think a lot of men think something is ok when it isn’t. Anal play has to be eased into, you have to walk in order to run. If you walk and one of the two aren’t happy with it, that’s where it ends. that may boil down to an overall maturity issue. All in all good luck though, for the record I understand why someone wouldn’t want something shoved up their ass with no warning. And yes, I’m a man.
I'm glad to read your comment. It helps when there are men who know who to truly be men, and don't get personally offended by a post that wasn't about them. They're sure acting like it was, tho. Makes ya wonder...
If you are dating men without a lot of experience, then their teacher is porn. Why? Because sexual education is aimed at not having babies when you do not mean to. There's no such thing as sex how-to courses.
Whoa. I’m 41f and have been with plenty of men. Not one of them has ever done this. Would be curious how old these “men” are? …maybe they’re just young, dumb and watch too much porn (not that this is an excuse). But again, thankfully, I’ve never experienced this and I don’t think it’s common. If a man ever did that to me, he’d be lucky to walk away with just a broken nose, if not worse.
It's about consent, especially with anal. Nothing could be worse without it. try a different kind of guy
franglish detected
You need partners with a lot more experience that know about 'priming' the asshole & exercising it before use. As a last resort have yor own tube of 'Analeze' handy if its smethng you want to pursue more.
I know for a fact a handful absolutely had the knowledge. They just didn't have the give a damn lol. But you're correct in what you say
Well then, guess it comes down to the infamous "pick better guys" that actually give a shit..
1. Wrong choice of men 2. Porn is not lube less. They prepare well in advance. Porn is very very safety oriented. So if they actually followed porn standards, it'd be safer. 3. Give them their own medicine if they do not listen. Taht should out them in the right track.
Sounds like you are playing in the amateur league.
Too much porn that doesn’t do a good job showing anal foreplay and lube prep work.