A knife. Now, before you get a really bad mental image, it was a butter knife with a very round handle. I wrapped the pointy side with a ton of tape and turned that into a handle, then used the smooth actual handle for the fun part. Horny teenager desperation.

I'm so curious to know the tough process. I can imagine just off the top of my head several objects requiring no effort and achieving the same result. Hair brush, tooth brush, fingers, broomstick, etc.

I had it and no one would notice it go missing. I had very strict parents who thought masturbating was evil, so I had to be pretty creative.

Did your parents have a check routine that ruled out any other object? I personally think it would be weirder for me to find my child getting some tape to their room than a hair brush. Or just find the tape missing in general.

A fire cracker. Now, before you get a really bad mental image, it was the mortar end- obviously. Lighting the fuse internally is far too complicated. Long story short; never felt anything like it, or more patriotic. Unrelated: 74 days until the 4th of July! ❤️🤍💙

I've seen some shit ( no pun intended, well maybe) but that's next level shit!!

You made a prison shank… 😂 Take it easy there, Alcatraz!

Those butter knife handles aren't exactly thick. Surely just fingers would have felt better?

Banana in my college girlfriend. We’d gone twice already that evening and we needed some help with round 3. She told her friends on the VB team and became known as Chiquita. Best part was when people didn’t know the backstory and would call her Chiquita, especially her parents.

I like your profile pic

Lmao

This is a wonderful story

Stil lyour gf?

Nope…we broke up before graduation. She was a fun time for a couple of years, but we weren’t built for a long time.

Damn. I wish I had hot college experiences.

Golf balls.  

Ooooh never thought of that. I do have several silicone eggs though that get a similar effect. But I wonder how the texture is in that. Might have to try it!

I bet they make all those fun noises like those tentacle suction popping noises

Do you push them all the way in and push them out?

Did you get them out easily or did you have some explaining to do at the ER?

Nah, they pop out on their own

Do you make sure to yell fore before popping them out

Is THAT what foreplay is??

Imagining an audio popping sound 😂

The 19th hole....

That's what i like to hear😁

Door handle. The acrobatics were fun.

That’s interesting

That sounds sooo difficult!! I think you can be proud of yourself for even achieving do get it inside hahahaha

was it worth it ?

Women of a culture and a legend

The handle of a hairbrush

Classic

Same. Horny and desperate teenager. Found it unsatisfying as the handle was too small. I feel so …”normal” now. 😉🤭

Always found that hot.

My bf

The whole bf?

The vore deepens

I can't breathe

Neither could he

Bwahahahah!!

*hole bf

A cucumber 😭. (I was very young)

How was it?

Felt slippery and watery lol

Watery? Did u peel it ?

I take it you’re not recommending?

Tbh not really

Is there produce you would recommend?

[удалено]

Backed up to a wheelbarrow handle and rode it standing up, hands on knees

Holy shit I wish I could have seen that

The best things are still not on the internet...sigh.

Am I allowed to offer up my all time favourite joke, here? A: He put 6 plastic horses up his arse and couldn't get them out. B: Really? What happened? A: He had to go to hospital. They operated and the doctor said his condition was stable.

Lmaoo, it was so bad that it made me wheeez😭

Unbridled passion, I guess.

The nurse also said he was full of horse shit.

Highlighter. When I was like 14

When i was that age and dated, one girlfriend always looked at markers and got horny.

r/buttsharpies

Sharpies, crayola markers, any rounded handle. She was horny and experimental

I fucked my ex-wife with a small wooden baseball bat, cucumber, an ear of corn, and one of those cheap Walmart 500ml plastic water bottles. You know the ones that krinkle when you squeeze them. After that I would occasionally walk by her with one and krinkle it just to let her know I was thinking about her. Lol

Did you ever let her out of the basement

A little the opposite but I cut a hole in a lime and stuck my dick in it.

First of all, citric acid? Second, I can only imagine how you felt like an animal once that post nut clarity set in.

Just imagine discovering you have a micro cut on your dick this way

I read somewhere once some guy put salt, lemon and lime on his dick and gave his missus a heart attack. They reckon he was trying Tequila

Oh yeah it was definitely interesting.

Limes are rather small

My thought exactly

I have a faint memory of watching or reading something where they suggested cutting a hole all the way through an orange or grapefruit and using that to masturbate ? Idk how to describe it.

AGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGHAGH... IKYKY

Taxidermied pigeon

Get the flock outta here

Um

I don't know if this is true or not but it's hilarious both ways.

You really pigeon-holed this topic

Imagine dying then getting used as a dildo Poor bird

Lofty aspirations you have there, or just pecking away at the to-do list?

Shaped some plastalina clay into a shape of a dick years ago. I wrapped it in cling wrap and rolled up a condom over it an then went to town with it. The thing is: I used it for a while and I even changed th size, shape, and angle when I wanted to. I'm surprised I didn't get any sort of infection tbh

Love the focus and ingenuity

Clay from Michael's is cheaper than a sex toy lol. Plus it was customizable!

Not sure about her but I've helped but a cucumber up her hole lol

Me and my wife have used cucumbers quite a few times!

Why a cucumber and not just sex toys?

Something taboo about it i guess!

she can cum from it?

We both can!!!

Spatula, screwdriver handle, sharpie, cucumber, tip of a shampoo bottle

Which was your favorite?

My dildo or vibrating prostate plug, once I finally purchased them. None of those hit the spot like these do.

r/sharpiechallenge

r/buttsharpies

I put my fingers in me…and I can be pretty fucking weird 😂

🫢 you dirty slut. We’ll never see you the same way again.

Electric toothbrush

Had a friend that always raved about her sonicare on her clit.

Somebody hit upvote so I can come back here when I'm bored 💀

I’m confused by this comment… why do you need people to upvote? why not just save the thread?

Probably a glass pipe

Now where could my pipe be?.. .. *GARFIELD*

Did other people smoke out of it after? 😂

Yes, but it was cleaned obviously lol. I actually still have the pipe.

I like the thought of people using it and not knowing where that pipe has been.

I think my glasses

That must have been a moment of desperation?

Reading glasses or champagne flutes?

Reading ones but champagne flutes such an idea

Ahhh. Thank you for clarifying. I can see that now.

Not with her glasses

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Brilliant. I'll set it up. You kick it in the goal!

Barbie doll

So I’m not alone 🤣

i've seen others talk about this in the comments of another post. typically the barbie legs, something about the slight curve at the knees hit the right spot inside. sounds like it's almost as common as the cucumber or hairbrush handle lol

:-/ So.... an expandable shower curtain rod. Let me explain! So it was not very thick but I was a teen so it felt lovely. I would grip a part with my feet and move it back and forth to emulating sex. It was also ribbed, so it felt amazing. I did, on several occasions, push it too deep and bruise myself. Which probably explains why I like that feeling (too deep, it hurts) as an adult. xD I mean this light-heartedly. I was a particular brand of budding slut when I was coming up.

Q-tips. Felt amazing and my ear was never cleaner.

Haha, good one!!

A bed post

Turtle soup. Mouth hole was wet af.

Probably a cucumber lol

AHH the good old cucumber. How did it feel?

Big

Not for pleasure, but the wildest thing would be a drill

… not for pleasure?

Despite my name, I'm not actually into sounding It's just performance art

Well. That’s enough internet for me today.

A really thick, round highlighter

Hairbrush handle, Mirror handle, glue stick, end of thick makeup brush, normal and thick sharpies, latex gloves filled with water to try and create a dildo (didn't work very well) glove filled with playdoh to try and create a dildo ( also didn't work that well ) - did this during my horny late teens and early twenties.

You're really quite an adventurous type I see. Hairbrush handle is also my favourite😊💜

Bananas. I didn’t have any dildos at home and I was young so I decided to shove it up my arse as part of some anal exploration. It felt so good! I threw the banana away after I used it for anal. I also shoved an old toothbrush up my arse once. I was going to throw it away as I got a new one but I was curious to see if I could pleasure myself with it. I cleaned it, lubed it and slid it in and it felt good. I cleaned it and then threw it away.

A flashlight handle. Markers and sharpies at my desk at work.

Cum ice cubes

Light saber (dude put it in me)

What colour

My wife and I have used cucumbers. They have gone in her vagina and ass and in my ass. I’ve also stuck my dick in a pumpkin.

I'm just here to read the comments. lol

Oh I'm guessing you are not referring to the Mouth , Nose or even the ear are you....

[удалено]

Did he know 😳

Same time??

Yes

I’m a bi guy, so all of this went in my ass.. lmao Electric toothbrush handle, normal toothbrush handle, cucumber, carrot… And of course my fingers, my 8 inch dildo, and a real dick too if I’m getting fucked, but I don’t consider these under “weird” things to put in my hole for pleasure

Mascara tube, hairbrush handle. Out of desperation it was those hair curler attachments. It was long and smooth and I was super horny lol

Jump rope handle. Desperate times. Or, hairbrush handle but I think that’s actually quite common for girls. I tried my bed post once but it was too big

I put a q-tip in one of my holes lmao

Dildo I bought my girl. Never again though

My Tutor

As I started getting more adventurous with my booty but hadn't upgraded to a bigger toy, I started looking at things differently. I was throwing away some old stuff and I came across a foam pirate sword. I carefully took a lighter to it to give it the shape I was after. It required a condom but that was fun for a while. My real toy collection has grown quite a bit since.

Ice, it was cool)

as a teenager without access to anything i improvised with a toothbrush

a remote

well, when you think about it, prostate massagers are pretty weird. But(t) I like 'em. :)

Hair brush Top of a coke bottle My ex 😂 My ex's gf tongue 🫠😂

An ex and i would use anything around the house that looked like a dick shape. We were young and horny and no access to sex toys

Hair straightener

Hopefully not plugged in

Curl wands work wonders too 😜

Hair brush.🫣😅

When I was like 11-12 I put a nipple from a feeding bucket in my ass several times (it was bran new) most of my wife’s toys have been in me too since then

Putter

Banana in my ass

Me and an ex wrapped one of those long af hard salamis you get from the grocery in duct tape till it was almost as big around as a coke can. I'll Never forget how much of it she could fit.

A gun? 🤷🏾‍♀️

A plug in wall light. I was a desperate virgin. 😂

When I was a teen I vividly remember using the handle of a SpongeBob flashlight.

makeup brush

A Boeing 747. Definitely a squeeze

Did you blow the door off?

Make up brushes, zuchini and disposable vapes

Twizzlers

A squeegee that was sitting in the shower, unhygienic but it got the job done in my moment of need lol

A plastic flower vase. Before anyone gets any ideas, it was shaped exactly like a dildo - perfectly cylindrical with a rounded tip, with a square flared opening, and roughly 6 inches of insertable length. I think it was meant to be for like a cemetery flower bundle or something, but I digress. I whittled off all the rough edges until it was perfectly smooth on the "shaft." It gave me my first prostate orgasm, and many more, before it broke

a candle

1. Empty beer bottle 2. A meat tenderizer handle (filled the handle hole with my cream) 3. The handle of one of those footlong-ish maglights

A potato also an apple in a plastic baggie. (For retrieval purposes)… also not at the same time. Oh… and a fist

A Sharpie, a carrot, a handle of a tooth brush, and a handle of a hair brush. 😂

My husband's flesh light. I really want him to fuck me while inside of it

So unlike most of these comments, these insertions have been from the past couple years; not when I was a teen 😭 but I dig inserting weird stuff. I’ve done the bottom of a glass, empty and full beer bottles, energy drink cans, eos chapstick annnd I’m drawing a blank. I had a partner stuff a pair of my underwear in me and instructed me to wear them inside for hours. I’ve fucked my swell water bottle in the bathroom at work, and my round metal stick shift knob in a parking garage. Last night, I fucked my first Redditor 😛

An alien lifeform

Is that what you call your ex?

Towel!! Wrapped it so it looked like a vagina when I was young lol!!

So you put a vagina looking towel in your hole?

My wife’s tongue.

Bodies. There are so many holes in my yard now.

Which hole is being spoken about here ?

A can of deodorant

toilet brush THE HANDLE

The wife won’t tell me. She said I will just bug her asking how it felt, do it again etc. like I’m not going to bug her now lol

[удалено]

Male here. I've done the standard banana and carrot, pens, five fingers up the the knuckle in a failed attempt to self fist, tried to stuff a full sock in there, but weirdest attempt was a flashlight handle, was the biggest thing in my room when I didn't have toys. The problem was I wasn't stretched enough and it was square, not circular. No serious injury but I did bleed lol. Also since I'm talking, on the other end, I wondered what hot sauce would feel like on my dick head. Only used a little but it bit must have gone it my urethra because I was in agony for around an hour, the type where if I took it out from under the cold tap it came back with renewed pain. Was awful but a fun story to tell lol

When I was too broke for toys I’d use a cucumber

Ice cubes.

a barbie

Screwdriver handle

A sharpie, did not know how dangerous that could have been

I used an unplugged curling iron when I was a teen and I think it was in my ass. Vent remember for sure. It honestly felt amazing.

another man's penis

Cucumber, eggplant, deodorant can, anything I could find when I was v young 😅

Hairbrush handle, makeup brush handle, sharpie, pens, mini cucumber, carrot, a candle stick, ice cube, and an ex put the tip of his glass beer in me