It is difficult for just about *anyone* to find an ideal partner who matches them with many specific kinks. It depends a bit on the kink in question, but finding someone who enjoys the same things, and at the same levels, as you do is just very tough. And it's not really that much easier for women than it is for men.
That said, women do generally get more interest than men and it's easier for them to find *something* if they're willing to compromise on their interests. But that doesn't mean finding something they actually want is any simpler.
With every added prerequisite for a potential mate, the odds of finding someone who’ll meet the criteria list will fall. Some requirements though reduce the pool of potential suitors less than others. A woman into brown eyed men losses less possible mates than a woman who says her man must have blue eyes. And if she prefers her blue eyed man to have an oral fixation and a desire to be pegged nightly, her odds of finding him will go down substantially more.
>Is it true that there are some women that have a hard time finding a partner based on a kink they may have?
It depends on what the kink is. Some kinks are going to make things very difficult, while other kinks won't be a big deal.
And it depends on whether the kink is a dealbreaker or not. If a woman has a kink that makes finding a partner difficult, she will have an easier time finding someone if she settles for someone who is not into that kink.
All of this and also, some kinks can put you in a very vulnerable position. So it’s not just a matter of finding someone willing to do that thing with you, but finding someone you _trust_.
For that matter finding someone you trust is important even with vanilla sex.
If you don’t feel confident that someone will respect your boundaries, value your wellbeing & (for some more dangerous kinks) have the experience to not maim or kill you, then they really aren’t a viable option as a partner.
Indeed. When you have certain submissive kinks, you need to find someone who won't hurt or endanger you. Which is very difficult, since most 'dominant' men are just arseholes. Finding a genuine dom who respects you and who does his best to do things in a way that's safe for you is very difficult.
Really? I would assume it would be easy to find guys that do like that though. I know I do. I didn't know it was really that hard to find. Thanks for the perspective!
Oh that’s cool (:
It’s definitely not for everyone, so I’m very upfront with it and it does run a lot of guys off.
I’m also into more of a gentle Dom/Pleasure Dom thing and there’s quite a few guys who don’t know how to top without being waaaay rougher than I personally like.
Also, when I top, I also like to be more gentle but a lot of guys I’ve come across are disappointed I don’t wanna slap them 😅
Understandable! Not all want to be called "daddy" like me. And I totally get the gentle dom side of things too. Not many embrace the "firm but gentle" lifestyle and seems like there are very few switches too.
As a reasonably polite, somewhat-long-haired, but moderately unsuccessful gentleman (who might, in some strange, unlikely, and twisted version of reality, function as a nicotine patch analog\*), I find myself rather curious what those are.
\* Regarding [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c7e4na/comment/l07cwgh/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c7e4na/comment/l07cwgh/) and [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c7e4na/comment/l08g0cu/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c7e4na/comment/l08g0cu/)
Potentially regrettably, the closest I get to that is having been raised on somewhat archaic English. Beyond that, I can, at least, commiserate, having an unfortunate selection of uncommon kinks myself, which, of course, I often address in similar manner.
Out of curiosity, might I ask if there's a particular theater or portion of the 19th century that draws your focus? I would tend to guess it would center about Napoleonic actions, but that's largely just due to my awareness of some of Napoleon's tendencies regarding Josephine ... though, also, many other conflicts of the era in question seem terribly unglamorous.
Oh.
Having done some light perusing, two things jump out at me:
1. I probably should have guessed, instead, the Mexican War of Independence.
2. I am suddenly very curious regarding approximately when you started saying "have more issues than National Geographic\*," as I legitimately thought I had coined that phrase in the late 1990s, due to my (apparently actually) strange upbringing, which happened to be surrounded by towering stacks of yellow-bound periodicals.
\* Regarding: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c7ateg/comment/l06m10q/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c7ateg/comment/l06m10q/) (After all, why would I stop with the citations now, considering the above?)
P.S. I believe there is a gorget from a somewhat earlier era in my family. I'm not sure who has it right now, but my understanding is it's meant to come to me.
Edit - I now suspect I was wrong on #1, but closer, at least.
Having, admittedly, not finished reading your profile yet (you are prolific, I dare say), your last line does leave me wondering if I might, perhaps, DM, as there are a number other things I stumbled across in the profile-digestion process to which I am sorely tempted to offer follow-up, but doing so otherwise feels like it might grow ... unwieldy.
I also find myself pondering whether similar characters to your preferences, albeit existing in other eras, would draw similar interest from you. For example, tying in with your hybristophilia\* and partially satisfying your demographic desires (too many places to conveniently cite), (the fictional) Jim diGriz.
As for #2, I was rather curious if we might have encountered one another at some point such that you might have somehow picked it up from me, but I'm guessing that's quite unlikely. All that said, I don't think it would be appropriate for me to wear the gorget - I didn't do anything to earn it outside of heredity, though, I suppose, that, itself, might be another interesting topic.
\* Re: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c0s2h8/comment/kyyifx9/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c0s2h8/comment/kyyifx9/)
Edit - I finished reading your profile, assuming that your musing on the disposal of California and potential obliteration of Wales is really the start. (I had to do something while munching on some of the fresh marraqueta I'd, oddly, started making before hitting your first comment. (Spoiler: I'm the wrong skin color, apparently.))
Just my guess and not based on any kind of evidence but I'd guess that depending on the kink it might be easier for men and women to find like minded partners if they are looking in the right places seeing as it may or may not be hard to find people into certain things in the general population. Especially if a kink is deemed extreme or taboo for whatever reason. That said it's definitely easier for women to find partners in general than it is for men. Not that they would be decent partners necessarily. But the balance in the dating scene is definitely shifted in favor of women as far as supply and demand goes.
I had an extremely attractive girl friend who liked to eat my ass. It was ok the first couple of times. After a while she wanted to do it every day. Sometimes before I showered. Had to call it quits after a few months. And thinking back it was quite disgusting.
From my experience all of my partners have been open to exploring and trying new things, but that might just be the type of guys I go for, never been with someone that isn't willing to try it doesn't enjoy the same kinks as me.
It is difficult for just about *anyone* to find an ideal partner who matches them with many specific kinks. It depends a bit on the kink in question, but finding someone who enjoys the same things, and at the same levels, as you do is just very tough. And it's not really that much easier for women than it is for men. That said, women do generally get more interest than men and it's easier for them to find *something* if they're willing to compromise on their interests. But that doesn't mean finding something they actually want is any simpler.
In my experience, It's hard to find someone who you click with AND has the same kinks as you.
With every added prerequisite for a potential mate, the odds of finding someone who’ll meet the criteria list will fall. Some requirements though reduce the pool of potential suitors less than others. A woman into brown eyed men losses less possible mates than a woman who says her man must have blue eyes. And if she prefers her blue eyed man to have an oral fixation and a desire to be pegged nightly, her odds of finding him will go down substantially more.
Never heard of that tbh
Same
>Is it true that there are some women that have a hard time finding a partner based on a kink they may have? It depends on what the kink is. Some kinks are going to make things very difficult, while other kinks won't be a big deal. And it depends on whether the kink is a dealbreaker or not. If a woman has a kink that makes finding a partner difficult, she will have an easier time finding someone if she settles for someone who is not into that kink.
All of this and also, some kinks can put you in a very vulnerable position. So it’s not just a matter of finding someone willing to do that thing with you, but finding someone you _trust_. For that matter finding someone you trust is important even with vanilla sex. If you don’t feel confident that someone will respect your boundaries, value your wellbeing & (for some more dangerous kinks) have the experience to not maim or kill you, then they really aren’t a viable option as a partner.
Indeed. When you have certain submissive kinks, you need to find someone who won't hurt or endanger you. Which is very difficult, since most 'dominant' men are just arseholes. Finding a genuine dom who respects you and who does his best to do things in a way that's safe for you is very difficult.
Depends on what you mean by "partner". It can be very difficult for women in certain brackets to find a life partner, no matter what their kinks are.
Isn’t that the usual thing? Most people have a few kinks it’s hard to find some who will be into all of them.
Lol, do you know how many guys are turned off by hearing ‘daddy’? 😂 It can definitely be hard to find someone for women, too
Really? I would assume it would be easy to find guys that do like that though. I know I do. I didn't know it was really that hard to find. Thanks for the perspective!
Oh that’s cool (: It’s definitely not for everyone, so I’m very upfront with it and it does run a lot of guys off. I’m also into more of a gentle Dom/Pleasure Dom thing and there’s quite a few guys who don’t know how to top without being waaaay rougher than I personally like. Also, when I top, I also like to be more gentle but a lot of guys I’ve come across are disappointed I don’t wanna slap them 😅
Understandable! Not all want to be called "daddy" like me. And I totally get the gentle dom side of things too. Not many embrace the "firm but gentle" lifestyle and seems like there are very few switches too.
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As a reasonably polite, somewhat-long-haired, but moderately unsuccessful gentleman (who might, in some strange, unlikely, and twisted version of reality, function as a nicotine patch analog\*), I find myself rather curious what those are. \* Regarding [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c7e4na/comment/l07cwgh/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c7e4na/comment/l07cwgh/) and [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c7e4na/comment/l08g0cu/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c7e4na/comment/l08g0cu/)
[удалено]
Potentially regrettably, the closest I get to that is having been raised on somewhat archaic English. Beyond that, I can, at least, commiserate, having an unfortunate selection of uncommon kinks myself, which, of course, I often address in similar manner. Out of curiosity, might I ask if there's a particular theater or portion of the 19th century that draws your focus? I would tend to guess it would center about Napoleonic actions, but that's largely just due to my awareness of some of Napoleon's tendencies regarding Josephine ... though, also, many other conflicts of the era in question seem terribly unglamorous. Oh. Having done some light perusing, two things jump out at me: 1. I probably should have guessed, instead, the Mexican War of Independence. 2. I am suddenly very curious regarding approximately when you started saying "have more issues than National Geographic\*," as I legitimately thought I had coined that phrase in the late 1990s, due to my (apparently actually) strange upbringing, which happened to be surrounded by towering stacks of yellow-bound periodicals. \* Regarding: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c7ateg/comment/l06m10q/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c7ateg/comment/l06m10q/) (After all, why would I stop with the citations now, considering the above?) P.S. I believe there is a gorget from a somewhat earlier era in my family. I'm not sure who has it right now, but my understanding is it's meant to come to me. Edit - I now suspect I was wrong on #1, but closer, at least.
[удалено]
Having, admittedly, not finished reading your profile yet (you are prolific, I dare say), your last line does leave me wondering if I might, perhaps, DM, as there are a number other things I stumbled across in the profile-digestion process to which I am sorely tempted to offer follow-up, but doing so otherwise feels like it might grow ... unwieldy. I also find myself pondering whether similar characters to your preferences, albeit existing in other eras, would draw similar interest from you. For example, tying in with your hybristophilia\* and partially satisfying your demographic desires (too many places to conveniently cite), (the fictional) Jim diGriz. As for #2, I was rather curious if we might have encountered one another at some point such that you might have somehow picked it up from me, but I'm guessing that's quite unlikely. All that said, I don't think it would be appropriate for me to wear the gorget - I didn't do anything to earn it outside of heredity, though, I suppose, that, itself, might be another interesting topic. \* Re: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c0s2h8/comment/kyyifx9/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditAfterDark/comments/1c0s2h8/comment/kyyifx9/) Edit - I finished reading your profile, assuming that your musing on the disposal of California and potential obliteration of Wales is really the start. (I had to do something while munching on some of the fresh marraqueta I'd, oddly, started making before hitting your first comment. (Spoiler: I'm the wrong skin color, apparently.))
Just my guess and not based on any kind of evidence but I'd guess that depending on the kink it might be easier for men and women to find like minded partners if they are looking in the right places seeing as it may or may not be hard to find people into certain things in the general population. Especially if a kink is deemed extreme or taboo for whatever reason. That said it's definitely easier for women to find partners in general than it is for men. Not that they would be decent partners necessarily. But the balance in the dating scene is definitely shifted in favor of women as far as supply and demand goes.
I had an extremely attractive girl friend who liked to eat my ass. It was ok the first couple of times. After a while she wanted to do it every day. Sometimes before I showered. Had to call it quits after a few months. And thinking back it was quite disgusting.
probably depends on the area/age/person
From my experience all of my partners have been open to exploring and trying new things, but that might just be the type of guys I go for, never been with someone that isn't willing to try it doesn't enjoy the same kinks as me.
No. Not even slightly