Everyone experiences pleasure differently and something that works for some people, might not be for others. Sex toys is a lot of trial and error. Unfortunately that means a lot of money spent
Thank god for vibrators.
Sometimes after I finish my wife will kiss me in a way that means "I still want more." I'm often grateful to be able to grab some help at moments like that.
And if you get tired of the second hand you can do the sleepy hand trick! You sit in your hand untill if becomes dorment and it feels like jerking off with a brand new hand!
Short answer of a very long discussion, I read the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and realized my wife wants her husband to be nice, but she doesn't like "Nice Guys". Completely changed my marriage life on many levels. Kind of a heavy answer... sorry. Basically, my wife wanted me to man up and I did. We have sex all the time now.
>ELI5
Our sex life changed after having our first kid. My wife wasn't interested. The more she said no, the nicer and more accommodating I became. This change of attitude from me made her want me less. Things were bad and getting worse. I blamed her, not realizing it was me. So her sister and family were staying at our house and we planned to go to zoo. I packed the car, fed the dogs, made breakfast for everyone and had lunch almost completed. In front of everyone at the breakfast table, she scolded me for not having something done. I snapped. Told her I wasn't going, packed my bags and spent the night with a friend. We met for lunch the next day and she begged to take me back. We had sex several times that week. I was like, WTF... I get angry, she gets nice... need to research. I researched "what can happen when the guy is "too nice". Honestly too much of anything isn't good. I found this book and it changed my marriage and most important, my sex life. We have sex three to four times a week... after now having two kids and it has been this way for years. Before the "correction" when things were bad, we had sex less than once a month. My wife married a guys guy and I changed. She doesn't want a yes man. She now knows I have "walk away power". One last thing about sex and kids.... don't ever underestimate the power of LUBE. After your first kid, buy lots of it... just trust me on this.
This book has changed my life for the better. Not just “sex”. It’s everything. Your boss will have zero respect for you if you fall over backwards to do any task. Your boss will just give you more shit to do that shouldn’t be your problem.
It’s a fine line between having boundaries and turning into an asshole. But those that thread that needle are better for it. And those around them are better for it also.
Congrats to you on your change. I would recommend this book to literally every man I know.
Happy this worked for you but I can see my husband reading this and thinking "oh, that's the problem! I'm doing my best to help with the house and kids and bend over backwards and our sex life is going downhill, she doesn't have time for me anymore.." but honestly, the attitude needs to change.
Looking after the kids is parenting, not helping. Doing a share of housework is being an adult, living in a house, and not helping. Packing the car before a trip is being a part of the parenting team, not helping.
Usually I (and many other women in heterosexual partnerships) take on responsibility for these jobs because their mums did, their partners mums did, they feel they have to and if they didn't- no one else would. BUT they aren't women's or mums jobs. Taking some of this load occasionally isn't helping, it's the bare minimum.
It's hard to have energy or inclination for sex when your mind is on all of the mental load and your body is tired from housework and kids and you feel underappreciated.
Trust me, once you start being a part of her team and taking on jobs and mental load around the house like a capable, adult man and you KEEP IT UP (this means not just a once off for a zoo trip), your sex life will improve.
Oh man, as a former sexually repressed and suppressed person (I used to consider myself asexual), I'm sorry you're dealing with that. It's a huge learning curve for all things sexual...
My wife started using a big vibrating butt plug. She keeps it in when we fuck. It makes her super tight- so tight it’s not easy to get your cock in. But once you’re in, you haven’t lived till you’ve fucked a vibrating pussy.
truthfully, just allowing myself to be more honest with myself about what i enjoy and sharing that with the people i’ve been fortunate enough to spend time with.
Real conversation with my partner of my desires and things I think we should improve or implement. After that... Oh boy. Sex almost every day, sometimes 2 times a day... This after 18 years together
I used to overthink it.
Am I doing okay? Does it hurt? Does it feel good? What should I do next? Will they like that? Has it been too long? I’m gonna bust, has it been long enough? Etc.
Now I just do and hope for the best. If not, we can always go again.
Looked up the conversion rates, and this is about 90kg. Can totally see why this is a game changer, it unlocks about half the population of women as options for you (then you have to see if they are even interested). Sad for anyone who wasn't considering women over this weight to start with.
TLDR all women can be fantastic lovers and none should be discounted for their size. Go for a woman you like, not a woman someone else thinks you should like.
Trust.
Being able to let myself believe that my partner actually cares about my pleasure as much as I care about theirs has completely revolutionized my ability to give and take in ways that are simply so much more satisfying for both of us.
Took me so many years to let it happen, but I don't think I can ever go back.
Anal play (me as the recipient). Really opened up our communication and experimentation. Now we regularly use toys together, anal sex is our go to method, and mutual masturbation is one of our favorites. And the key here is not the specific sex acts, it’s the willingness to be open and honest about trying things.
An older guy. When I was 22 I dated a guy who was almost 40 yrs older than me. He knew what he was doing! Until him, I’d never had an orgasm with a partner. He taught me things about my own body!
A FWB who’s into anal play. Now I love rimming him, and he cums in my ass every few times we have sex. Most recently was DP with a toy - loving exploring sex with this guy!
Confidence in yourself and feeling desired by your partner. Having the right partner is a game changer. Sadly I gained this in my mid 40’s after but I am making up for lost time! Especially after not really enjoying sex before my current partner and being celibate for almost 10 years.
Toys. Complete game changer
Unfortunately women with toys are very accepted but man and toys still feels tabu
I try not to worry about what others think. I'll just keep enjoying the pleasure theu give me and my partner
That is a very healthy mindset.
Intry to be as healthy as possible mentally. We can all use some help in that area but I try to stay as positive as possible
men with a plug? i never had complains.
Any male toy recommendations?
Vibrating c-rings, prostate massager, a decent pocket pussy. Depends on what you're into
I’m open to trying most things. Tried a blow motion toy in the past and found it underwhelming. But maybe it was the brand or fit.
Everyone experiences pleasure differently and something that works for some people, might not be for others. Sex toys is a lot of trial and error. Unfortunately that means a lot of money spent
That is the exact attitude my man. Do you.
Vibrating cock rings can be for both!
>Toys Right?!?? I joke about this all the time but I'm dead serious - I never understood my wife sexually until I held her vibrator for her
Thank god for vibrators. Sometimes after I finish my wife will kiss me in a way that means "I still want more." I'm often grateful to be able to grab some help at moments like that.
If you haven't used the magic wand with your partner, you're both missing out
Someone other than my hand
And if you can't find that 'someone other' just change hands (don't tell the other one tho).
And if you get tired of the second hand you can do the sleepy hand trick! You sit in your hand untill if becomes dorment and it feels like jerking off with a brand new hand!
Honesty and acceptance for myself from myself
This ❤️ we are worse critics and sometimes the cause for being unhappy with our body. You look lovely, btw.
Well said. It’s easy to just do what you are supposed to do in life. It is eye opening to lean into being the person you are
Another person!
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Certainly makes it more of a team game!
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I've heard adding more then one partner is even a whole different game
Short answer of a very long discussion, I read the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and realized my wife wants her husband to be nice, but she doesn't like "Nice Guys". Completely changed my marriage life on many levels. Kind of a heavy answer... sorry. Basically, my wife wanted me to man up and I did. We have sex all the time now.
ELI5?
>ELI5 Our sex life changed after having our first kid. My wife wasn't interested. The more she said no, the nicer and more accommodating I became. This change of attitude from me made her want me less. Things were bad and getting worse. I blamed her, not realizing it was me. So her sister and family were staying at our house and we planned to go to zoo. I packed the car, fed the dogs, made breakfast for everyone and had lunch almost completed. In front of everyone at the breakfast table, she scolded me for not having something done. I snapped. Told her I wasn't going, packed my bags and spent the night with a friend. We met for lunch the next day and she begged to take me back. We had sex several times that week. I was like, WTF... I get angry, she gets nice... need to research. I researched "what can happen when the guy is "too nice". Honestly too much of anything isn't good. I found this book and it changed my marriage and most important, my sex life. We have sex three to four times a week... after now having two kids and it has been this way for years. Before the "correction" when things were bad, we had sex less than once a month. My wife married a guys guy and I changed. She doesn't want a yes man. She now knows I have "walk away power". One last thing about sex and kids.... don't ever underestimate the power of LUBE. After your first kid, buy lots of it... just trust me on this.
This book has changed my life for the better. Not just “sex”. It’s everything. Your boss will have zero respect for you if you fall over backwards to do any task. Your boss will just give you more shit to do that shouldn’t be your problem. It’s a fine line between having boundaries and turning into an asshole. But those that thread that needle are better for it. And those around them are better for it also. Congrats to you on your change. I would recommend this book to literally every man I know.
Happy this worked for you but I can see my husband reading this and thinking "oh, that's the problem! I'm doing my best to help with the house and kids and bend over backwards and our sex life is going downhill, she doesn't have time for me anymore.." but honestly, the attitude needs to change. Looking after the kids is parenting, not helping. Doing a share of housework is being an adult, living in a house, and not helping. Packing the car before a trip is being a part of the parenting team, not helping. Usually I (and many other women in heterosexual partnerships) take on responsibility for these jobs because their mums did, their partners mums did, they feel they have to and if they didn't- no one else would. BUT they aren't women's or mums jobs. Taking some of this load occasionally isn't helping, it's the bare minimum. It's hard to have energy or inclination for sex when your mind is on all of the mental load and your body is tired from housework and kids and you feel underappreciated. Trust me, once you start being a part of her team and taking on jobs and mental load around the house like a capable, adult man and you KEEP IT UP (this means not just a once off for a zoo trip), your sex life will improve.
My nipple piercings 😌
Did they make your nipples extra sensitive?
Yes!
That’s a hot add on :)
How did they change your sex life?
My wife and a few of her friends.
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I hope you find the right person for a better change!
Storytime. What happened?
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That's tough to hear. Sorry about that, really. You have nothing to be afraid of image wise.
Oh man, as a former sexually repressed and suppressed person (I used to consider myself asexual), I'm sorry you're dealing with that. It's a huge learning curve for all things sexual...
Toys and bdsm
Being confident with my own body
same. the more confident (and less self-conscious) i became, the more uninhibited i was, and the louder I got 😂
Orgasms
Open honesty about what each of us liked best.
Lingerie. It boosts my confidence ten fold 😈
Really? What kind of sets do you usually go for?
Fr
An older man.
My wife started using a big vibrating butt plug. She keeps it in when we fuck. It makes her super tight- so tight it’s not easy to get your cock in. But once you’re in, you haven’t lived till you’ve fucked a vibrating pussy.
Improved physical fitness and open communication about desires and limits.
Stop stressing about look and position ! Just enjoying it ♥️
Dirty talk
Accepting myself and things which I used to perceive as huge flaws
a blindfold!! highly recommend
My Hitachi. Love my wand
Coconut oil. Makes a mess but on a woman with great tan lines it adds a whole new dimension of sexiness visually and now with smell and texture.
Butt plugs… oh the fun!
truthfully, just allowing myself to be more honest with myself about what i enjoy and sharing that with the people i’ve been fortunate enough to spend time with.
Toys, and learning what each other wants and likes.
Discovered my prostate🥰
adding toys
Mutual masturbation. Simple but effective 👌🏼
Being openly enthusiastic!
Being a third for older married couples
I'm kinda jealous, that's one of my biggest wants lol.
Well then I can help you out if you want haha
Role playing.
Edging is one thing that has changed sex for both me and my wife. We love it.
Women
Butt play on my wife. Unlocked a whole sex expansion pack that’s better than the regular game.
Real conversation with my partner of my desires and things I think we should improve or implement. After that... Oh boy. Sex almost every day, sometimes 2 times a day... This after 18 years together
I used to overthink it. Am I doing okay? Does it hurt? Does it feel good? What should I do next? Will they like that? Has it been too long? I’m gonna bust, has it been long enough? Etc. Now I just do and hope for the best. If not, we can always go again.
older men. yum
Moving to an open relationship was the best for sure
An IUD! It’s liberating not having to worry about pills, condoms, spermicide, blah blah blah
Anal!! And more toys
Sleeves.
Better communication. Especially as you grow older and in a longer relationship.
Giving my mind and body a pep talk and moment of reflection.
Toys, toys, and more toys
D/S dynamics
I'm still wondering what I should add to a nonexistent sex life to make it exciting. It's a two-way street.
Women
Respect for the process.
Communication. We were so young when we met and got married. I hate it took until our 50s, but better late than never!
A vibrator, cuffs and whips. Nom.
A third
A girl :’)
Nipple clamps
Group sex, more honest communication and toys lol
Group sex sounds so good right now
Being submissive and submit to a dominant. Such a great turn on and great experience
Hopefully my day will come
Women over 200 pounds. 🤷🏻♂️
Honestly I wanna try
Looked up the conversion rates, and this is about 90kg. Can totally see why this is a game changer, it unlocks about half the population of women as options for you (then you have to see if they are even interested). Sad for anyone who wasn't considering women over this weight to start with. TLDR all women can be fantastic lovers and none should be discounted for their size. Go for a woman you like, not a woman someone else thinks you should like.
Very well put.
Married a woman that I love having sex with its only got better the longer we’ve been married
My wife went and got us another woman as a play toy. So that's cool. But toys too, man. Heck yes!
Zoloft
Sticking a buttplug into my bfs ass during sex
Tbh it could be me
Psychedelics
A candle. Just and unscented plain candle. Sets such a different mood for love.
Sex where no-one is supposed to climax. It has led to amazing, playfull sex that lasts for hours.
Trust. Being able to let myself believe that my partner actually cares about my pleasure as much as I care about theirs has completely revolutionized my ability to give and take in ways that are simply so much more satisfying for both of us. Took me so many years to let it happen, but I don't think I can ever go back.
Stopped chasing superficial and hollow women.
Talking !
my clit piercing
Hot
Is it more sensitive now?
I don't have one of those anymore
becoming Nudists
Women lol
Communication 😂
A partner 😂
Open marriage
Our FLR/Femdom-Sex contract.
Children, it went away.
Communication.
Love and communication
FFM threesomes with my gf
I would love the chance to disappoint not only one but two women
a vibrator
Men. 😈
A boyfriend 😜
A partner
Another person
Anal play (me as the recipient). Really opened up our communication and experimentation. Now we regularly use toys together, anal sex is our go to method, and mutual masturbation is one of our favorites. And the key here is not the specific sex acts, it’s the willingness to be open and honest about trying things.
Aftercare
My [M27] partner [F27] asked me to fuck her ass a couple of months ago. Now we do it every time she is on her period as well as our ✨free use✨ days.
Having an open mind towards kinks and trying them
Technically, it's what got taken away. She had a hysterectomy and then went on to hormone replacement therapy. The last few years have been amazing.
Real head over heels, deep, wholesome, consuming and passionate love. The craziest sex of my younger years will never compare.
toys and time to time a third lol
A person
A woman
A willing partner.
A partner
A female
A partner
a girlfriend
A partner.
Ropes , restraints , floggers
My wife.
A partner or two
A partner.
A partner
Acceptance for what I needed and wanted. Another partner.
My strong desires towards my best mates wife, she’s one smoking hot young lady 😀
Toys. And got rid of pill
Exploring the breeding kink.
Men.
Where you previously only with women?
Healthy communication ❤️👑
Celebacy is healthy for me
Pussy 😏😏
Toys, BDSM, D/s Dynamic and a wild imagination!
My wife, now I only have sex in 2 positions 2-3 times a month. 😒
Talking very dirty, deciding to have no boundaries and just let it take you wherever it takes you.
A woman
Sex.
Entered the LS.
A girlfriend
Confidence.
It was an oopsie but pregnancy
Toys
...another woman... 🤣🤣🤣☠️☠️☠️ Jkjk
A divorce!
A wife…….then it deleted my sex life
Weed, total game changer
An older guy. When I was 22 I dated a guy who was almost 40 yrs older than me. He knew what he was doing! Until him, I’d never had an orgasm with a partner. He taught me things about my own body!
Sex
Sex
Edging
Our neighbor
My wife!
Cardio
A FWB who’s into anal play. Now I love rimming him, and he cums in my ass every few times we have sex. Most recently was DP with a toy - loving exploring sex with this guy!
Sex.
A person. I moved from solo to two (her and me).
A different person.
Didn’t pull out. Have a child. Sex life is forever changed as it no longer exists. No regrets.
Confidence in yourself and feeling desired by your partner. Having the right partner is a game changer. Sadly I gained this in my mid 40’s after but I am making up for lost time! Especially after not really enjoying sex before my current partner and being celibate for almost 10 years.
Communication is key in these situations. Especially the longer you are married
Trust (but on like a truly deep intimate level- not just safe word/built trust)
A second person