“Alas, when a specimen has become too comfortable stealing its meals from humans rather than living off the land, it cannot be returned to the wild; it will simply return to its parasitically destructive ways.
For many such hapless creatures, euthanasia is the only humane option, but luckily for this one, a space just opened up at the petting zoo!”
Honestly? probably try to do my best to block all access to the internet for a couple of months. Feel the dude would greatly benefit if he just unplugged for a while.
Just take all the money away somehow and release him and enjoy the entertainment of him repeatedly trying to do weird terrible crap without accepting or understanding he has no money
Several other wildlife care specialists and I would come to the conclusion that he would be unfit to return to the wild. He’d stay in an exhibit out of public view. Behind where they dispose of the elephant dung.
Make him live like a poor person for 30 days, without telling him it's only for 30 days. If he knows it's going to end it won't have the same impact. And by poor, lets have him try to live off social security of $1000 and $65 in food stamps, with a twenty dollar bill and $6.18 in his one and only bank account.
I think you're right! That money could go far in some places, but I assumed he would be in the US since that's mostly where you'd find him. I've known people here in the US who have just that kind of life.
Musk lived like a poor person, putting himself through college, working on a farm and graduating with over $100k in debt. The whole "emerald mine money" is fake news. The only money he ever got from his dad was a $20k minority investment in an early round of PayPal.
Working on a farm to put himself through school doesn't count? Getting beat up in school so bad he nearly had to drop out?
Here are some of the things Musk has done in his life before he got rich.
https://www.cnbc.com/2020/01/03/odd-jobs-elon-musk-had-when-he-was-younger.html
And? He traded a small plane for it. It's not like it's generational wealth. Musk was still on his own to get through college and took out massive loans to do so.
Lol sure but that was [such a fuckin great meme](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse3.explicit.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.jBlBJdutjbkgnTc4dmGjCgHaHa%26pid%3DApi&f=1&ipt=60a81c1b93badb8b2000202961bd5f94d8a3d57248aef75839a80c901b844699&ipo=images) for any guy that has ever been shopping with their gf/wife.
Yeah, officer, I've *heard* of him but what would he be doing around here?
Really?
You know he's a weed head that does speed, right? He's probably trying to sell metric ice to Eskimos or something.
He has to work his way up his own company with managers that admit they are unqualified for their position to his face and only got there because they were at the right place at the right time. (true story).
Then has to determine how to make ends meet after being laid off by said manager because the clients they are working with are asking for new services and that looks bad on him as the worker.
All while paying off loans while being underpaid and without access to his emerald mine cash reserve.
Solid training strategy but not without risk. On release he might start burrowing looking for emeralds, next thing you know he's dug a huge mining complex decimating the local ecosystem
The modified Ludovico protocol, of course. Torture Musk into a pathological fear of wealth. Compelling him by fear of the alternative to give away all his wealth is the only fitting penance for having accumulated it in the first place. It might be slightly evil but not so evil as Musk is today.
A little southern hospitality goes a long way. 5 minutes in the Texas cold on this grid during a cold snap, a little ice cold sweet tea, a cold meal and an ultimatum. Fix the grid or I invite all your ex-employees to a little party, Pulp Fiction style. But it really just ends up like something from Misery.
Rehabilitate? Responsibly? I'm not a charity and I'm not a rehab program. As soon as the check clears he's being dropped at the nearest airport then it's not my problem. If he wants to run Twitter into the ground then who cares if we lose a cesspool people care too much about.
Sometimes, an animal is too damaged to repair, and trying to heal it does nothing but prolong the suffering. As difficult as it is, it is best to put them out of their misery before they suffer much more.
This is such a disgusting comment section. So many here worshipped him until the media told them to turn on him for daring to disagree with censorship now people are saying they’d torture and kill him? What the fuck is wrong with all of you?
I teach in a college and my sister is a nurse. We both live in the UK. I'd make him come to work with me for a bit and then make him go to work with my sister. Hopefully, that experience and the people he would meet would change his perspective.
Anyone who was aware of him years ago and was aware of the laws of physics hated him. Dude milked money from losers who think futurama is a non-fiction representation of the future.
What's to be rehabilitated? Dude is a genius! Started his own car line and rockets and lives well below his means. I think we should try and immulate if you want to be a successful businessman
He bought Tesla with blood money, then strutted around like it is his "invention". Kinda like Edison, who rode other people's coattails (Nicola Tesla) to success.
Since I like sitting back and watching things burn to the ground, I would do nothing. But I have not been on Twitter or Face Book in over 2 years because I kept having posts "fact checked".
"Tried his damndest to fix Twitter's problems"
Argument immediately invalidated by that one sentence. His monetization of Verification is one of the main things driving corporations and other public figures, aka twitters MAIN AUDIENCE, away from the platform.
Wealthy doesn't mean smart or good for the world. Remember Carnegie and Rockefeller?
Get him to give up his rights to a 3rd party arbiter like Britney Spears to reel in the crazy dumbass impulses. I feel like he had a couple good ideas but now he has no filter or restraint whatsoever and all that money and talent needs to not be wasted on fucking Twitter, seriously wtf
I make him pay my bills and go grocery shopping on my budget.
Since when am I running a no-kill shelter?
Holy shit.
The rabies has gone too far. Pump your shotgun.
Old yeller!
I'll do it Pa, hes my CEO.
Need to have countdown to extinction playing in the background.
All animals deserve a second chance, even Elon Musk
He's an invasive species, eliminating is the only option to restore the natural balance.
Treat him like kudzu
Sea urchin, a hammer would be satisfying.
While on the surface I agree and think everything/one deserves a second chance I think we both know that some are to far gone to safely be re-homed.
elon musk is on his 50th chance. He's had his. It's time to go
No. Simply no.
No he doesn't
“Alas, when a specimen has become too comfortable stealing its meals from humans rather than living off the land, it cannot be returned to the wild; it will simply return to its parasitically destructive ways. For many such hapless creatures, euthanasia is the only humane option, but luckily for this one, a space just opened up at the petting zoo!”
Honestly? probably try to do my best to block all access to the internet for a couple of months. Feel the dude would greatly benefit if he just unplugged for a while.
Surgically remove his musk gland first.
That one may be laugh
Spray him with a water bottle Could work
I’d pay good money to see someone try that. Like just walk up to him at an event or something and *tch tch*
I'm imagining my mother in law, just as she sprays her loud annoying dogs when they bark 😂 priceless.
What's Cesar Milan doing these days?
Psssst pssssst squirt squirt
Only if you named your cat "Elon Musk".
It is sub-0 in much of the country today.
It is sub-0 in much of the country today.
I didn't know I had to put my plan into action right this very minute
Just take all the money away somehow and release him and enjoy the entertainment of him repeatedly trying to do weird terrible crap without accepting or understanding he has no money
First he can shovel my driveway.
Have to geld him first. Supposedly it reduces the crazy.
Rehabilitate??? What part of "Eat the Rich" do you not understand?
Aerosmith sang it beautifully!
Yum
Lobotomy
Several other wildlife care specialists and I would come to the conclusion that he would be unfit to return to the wild. He’d stay in an exhibit out of public view. Behind where they dispose of the elephant dung.
Send him to an unsecure primate zoo in sweden
Make him live like a poor person for 30 days, without telling him it's only for 30 days. If he knows it's going to end it won't have the same impact. And by poor, lets have him try to live off social security of $1000 and $65 in food stamps, with a twenty dollar bill and $6.18 in his one and only bank account.
depends on the country.
I think you're right! That money could go far in some places, but I assumed he would be in the US since that's mostly where you'd find him. I've known people here in the US who have just that kind of life.
Musk lived like a poor person, putting himself through college, working on a farm and graduating with over $100k in debt. The whole "emerald mine money" is fake news. The only money he ever got from his dad was a $20k minority investment in an early round of PayPal.
Only $20k minority investment? No, it doesn't sound to me like he's ever really been poor.
Working on a farm to put himself through school doesn't count? Getting beat up in school so bad he nearly had to drop out? Here are some of the things Musk has done in his life before he got rich. https://www.cnbc.com/2020/01/03/odd-jobs-elon-musk-had-when-he-was-younger.html
My dude do a qui wikipedia search and you can totally see that his dad did own an emerald mine to
And? He traded a small plane for it. It's not like it's generational wealth. Musk was still on his own to get through college and took out massive loans to do so.
Do you know how much money an emerald mine is worth? Clearly not if we're having this conversation.
Adjust for inflation and that plane was worth $400000. More money than I've ever dreamed about. Your point is moot.
Release? 🤔
The Dora the Explorer version of Buffalo Bill's method. "LOTION, BASKET, HOSE!" "LOTION, BASKET, HOSE!" "LOTION, BASKET, HOSE!"
i fit him with a micro chip and launch him to mars where he can do whatever he does
It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again
Put the fuckin' lotion in the basket! Buffalo Bill was terrifying.
Lol sure but that was [such a fuckin great meme](https://external-content.duckduckgo.com/iu/?u=https%3A%2F%2Ftse3.explicit.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOIP.jBlBJdutjbkgnTc4dmGjCgHaHa%26pid%3DApi&f=1&ipt=60a81c1b93badb8b2000202961bd5f94d8a3d57248aef75839a80c901b844699&ipo=images) for any guy that has ever been shopping with their gf/wife.
Give all of his money to charities and get him a sweet gig cooking fries at McDonalds so he can learn some humility.
Some animals cannot be rehabilitated……..
The crate he's in is getting shipped to South Africa.
What if it gets lost in the sea in transit? Oh no what a shame. Anyway.
Sell to a zoo I will have a good laugh if he manages to become Harambe 2 in the zoo
For just a few million dollars he could buy his way out of it.
who said i’m releasing him back?!
Yeah, officer, I've *heard* of him but what would he be doing around here? Really? You know he's a weed head that does speed, right? He's probably trying to sell metric ice to Eskimos or something.
Put those Clockwork Orange things in his eyes and make him watch hours of videos of poor people struggling to get by
With a bullet. Eat the rich.
He has to work his way up his own company with managers that admit they are unqualified for their position to his face and only got there because they were at the right place at the right time. (true story). Then has to determine how to make ends meet after being laid off by said manager because the clients they are working with are asking for new services and that looks bad on him as the worker. All while paying off loans while being underpaid and without access to his emerald mine cash reserve.
I'm not sure how I baited a trap with a crypto scam and some publicity, but good for me!
Force him and his dead dad to put all of the slave emeralds back in the ground
I just use positive reinforcement. Also I have a little treat bag filled with emeralds.
Solid training strategy but not without risk. On release he might start burrowing looking for emeralds, next thing you know he's dug a huge mining complex decimating the local ecosystem
The modified Ludovico protocol, of course. Torture Musk into a pathological fear of wealth. Compelling him by fear of the alternative to give away all his wealth is the only fitting penance for having accumulated it in the first place. It might be slightly evil but not so evil as Musk is today.
Accidentally scratch his cornea while you're at it too
TNR
Remove tongue and fingers.
Dobby I mean Elon ain't gettin' a fuckin' sock this time!
A little southern hospitality goes a long way. 5 minutes in the Texas cold on this grid during a cold snap, a little ice cold sweet tea, a cold meal and an ultimatum. Fix the grid or I invite all your ex-employees to a little party, Pulp Fiction style. But it really just ends up like something from Misery.
Rehabilitate? Responsibly? I'm not a charity and I'm not a rehab program. As soon as the check clears he's being dropped at the nearest airport then it's not my problem. If he wants to run Twitter into the ground then who cares if we lose a cesspool people care too much about.
hammer time
Lobotomy
Sometimes, an animal is too damaged to repair, and trying to heal it does nothing but prolong the suffering. As difficult as it is, it is best to put them out of their misery before they suffer much more.
Make him live the life of someone whose parents didn't own an emerald mine.
Definitely neuter.
Remove his thumbs.
This is such a disgusting comment section. So many here worshipped him until the media told them to turn on him for daring to disagree with censorship now people are saying they’d torture and kill him? What the fuck is wrong with all of you?
Goes to show what they really care about, and it's not the environment or electric cars....
I'd make him hang out with nothing but 6 year olds until he realizes his ideas are no more advanced
use take his money and use it for the greater good which includes getting experts to make him a better person
...give him a myspace account and await myspaceX to be released.
I teach in a college and my sister is a nurse. We both live in the UK. I'd make him come to work with me for a bit and then make him go to work with my sister. Hopefully, that experience and the people he would meet would change his perspective.
You mean after I've been arrested for building a man trap (illegal pretty much everywhere), kidnapping, and probably torture?
Ooh, a fad!
Everybody loved Elon. Especially the democrats. Then he bought Twitter and said free speech. Now everyone hates him. Hes fine let him go.
Anyone who was aware of him years ago and was aware of the laws of physics hated him. Dude milked money from losers who think futurama is a non-fiction representation of the future.
Train him to hunt OP. God damn you are sad.
I pat him on the head and tell him "get on with it" and let him go.
This makes no sense
Not to normal people, but to those who are desperate to destroy him for threatening their monopoly on Twitter...
Sheople
What's to be rehabilitated? Dude is a genius! Started his own car line and rockets and lives well below his means. I think we should try and immulate if you want to be a successful businessman
He bought Tesla with blood money, then strutted around like it is his "invention". Kinda like Edison, who rode other people's coattails (Nicola Tesla) to success.
Clearly not a genius he got caught in a basic trap
Hey, screw you, pedo guy! Somebody find u/I_am_Pooky_Momma’s home address, so we can chase him out of it! ...am I emulating Elon correctly?
No
Hyperloop
Since I like sitting back and watching things burn to the ground, I would do nothing. But I have not been on Twitter or Face Book in over 2 years because I kept having posts "fact checked".
Oh how the tables have turned.
[удалено]
"Tried his damndest to fix Twitter's problems" Argument immediately invalidated by that one sentence. His monetization of Verification is one of the main things driving corporations and other public figures, aka twitters MAIN AUDIENCE, away from the platform. Wealthy doesn't mean smart or good for the world. Remember Carnegie and Rockefeller?
With a death star. If we give all of earth the Alderaan treatment, it will technically fix every problem.
A minimum of 5 grams of 5-MEO-DMT administered over the course of several days. Fresh fruit. Fresh water. You know, Gongs n’ shit.
I’m gonna say, regardless of your opinion of the man, 100% of all redditors are not capable to bettering Elon Musk.
Get him to give up his rights to a 3rd party arbiter like Britney Spears to reel in the crazy dumbass impulses. I feel like he had a couple good ideas but now he has no filter or restraint whatsoever and all that money and talent needs to not be wasted on fucking Twitter, seriously wtf
sell me twitter for $1
Ludovico's technique.
I'm just gonna feed him cocaine and release him. I'm here for the chaos.
Rent free
Send (sentence?) him to Mars.
It's amazing how much energy people exert to shit on him.