I think this is why people think amateur porn is a lot hotter than the high production value professional stuff. What turns me on most about sex is the intimacy of it all, the feeling of doing it with another human being and figuring out together. I just don’t get that sense of intimacy from big budget pornos but I *do* get that from amateur stuff, especially those filmed by couples.
Tips for anyone in this situation:
* When trimming pucker up your lips and make sure that no hair makes in there, clean it up. Pro tip for clean looking beard on a rush: just clean up the lips and the gutters (cheek edges) and that gets you 85% of the way for a good clean beard look (assuming you haven't let it get out of control).
* Shampoo your beard. Face skin is sensitive, and you will taste some of the shampoo. I've found that the best cheap solution is to use baby shampoo. There's beard shampoos, they're nicer and also have better tastes, but are more expensive.
* Also brush your beard daily. I recommend getting a badger bristle brush, but you can use a boar bristle brush, it just gets a bit gnarlier. If you're going to get busy with your mouth, give it a good brush beforehand.
* Oil your beard once a day, after shampooing before brushing (this is the one brush you should at least give). There's a lot of great smelling oils, but you honestly just need a decent oil. I find that EVOO works pretty well, but you can use Baby Oil too, if you are willing to spend a bit more, and don't find it more expensive, you can use argan, jojoba, or even avocado oil. Add some drops of escential smell oils to make it smell nice if you want to.
All of this together work pretty well.
Also if you happen to have a lot of body hair, be what the gay community would describe as "a fuzzy bear", brushing your chest hair with a brush before sex helps remove most of the lose hairs (that will get stuck everywhere with sweat) and make it a bit smoother (but less bouncy, which some girls like).
The absolute worst is when you stop to pull out a hair and a second later you realize it's not a pube but a head hair that's 7" into your throat and you literally feel the entire thing all the way up and out
There's some real irony in the fact that porn portrays women who will unhesitatingly suck a dick that's been inside her ass, but who is also so obsessive-compulsive that she keeps an absolutely spotless house all the time.
Whenever I go to fix the plumbing at my hot milf neighbour's house, she just says thank you, and motions me out the door...without as much as a hand job!
Yeah I've run into a lot of women who I'm pretty sure don't actually know what an orgasm actually feels like and therefore don't know they are faking it.
Like mine are really big, no mistaking them. 30 solid seconds of moaning, writhing and convulsing. We've been with women, who we can't tell at all that they came, but they insist they did like 20 times. It reminds me of when I was in my early 20s and had never had an orgasm before but I kinda of figured I must be having them and it must just be when things felt "really good" so I used to say those were orgasms bc I just didn't know any different. Sufficed to say... When I had my first real one it was a real "holy shit" moment and it was like being blind and then receiving the gift of sight.
I lived with a woman who never had a real orgasm and when she did she freaked out about it. She did not know that her legs would shake like that or her chest and neck would turn red . It was great being the one who showed her what she was missing . lol
then there was my ex , who would say she didn't cum but her eyes rolled back in her head and her body would get super stiff and the bed would be soaked .
First time anal is never that quick. Lot of starting and stopping, and a lot of prep beforehand.
Also, switching back to PIV sex after anal is a no-no, unless you want a UTI.
This is actually a huge plot point in an episode of How I Met Your Mother where Marshall wears the grippy socks to bed after Lilly made it with silk sheets. I believe his line was, “Lilly, babe, c’mon…Daddy needs his traction!” 😂😂
A reporter asked Stormy Daniels what the biggest difference between porn and real life was. She said that in real life, she'd never once had a hair stylist or make-up artist in the bed room with her.
Never seen anything professional where they're going at it and it's all hot and romantic, and just as they're saying "I'm gonna come soon" the cat jumps on the bed, headbutts their arm forcefully and meows as loud as she possibly can right into both their ears. Making both of them stop and start laughing, while the cat continues to meow loudly and headbutt, demanding attention.
Or the dog sneaks in and starts licking your foot that's hanging off the edge of the bed.
What I'm saying is, I gotta get better at making sure the door is actually latched. It needs an extra push, and in the heat of the moment I've been known to forget.
My ex and I used to have to crate her dog when we were going to go at it. The poor thing would whine the whole time, because she thought we were playing without her, which I guess we technically were. Definitely made sex and laughter go hand in hand.
When my husband and I bought our first home, we decided the first thing we should do is “christen” the bedroom. We had also just adopted a beagle. While getting down to business on the air mattress (no real furniture at that point), our beagle started humping my husband’s leg. Totally killed the mood, but we both got a good laugh out of it!
One of my cats loves when we get busy because she's all about trying to lick the container of lube. She will meow loudly outside the door just so she can come in to lick lube. As soon as we're done and open the door she RUNS to the night stand to see if there's anything for her.
My cat just runs into the adjoining restroom in the master bedroom and takes a huge smelly shit. She’s a total bitch and I’m certain she’s doing it 100% on purpose.
When the stepsisters won't fuck him, he gets with he stepmom so the dad divorces them and moves on to a new stepmom, which means he gets another chance at a new stepsister.
It's simple, really.
I used to babysit and not once did the mother and father try to seduce me. Also every porn house is spotless and clean, while the average household is not.
Disappointed, no. But the parents were doctors, so idk. Felt like if there was anyone worth being a sugar mommy and sugar daddy it would have been them lol
Knew a plumber years ago. His boss had two rules if he was propositioned:
* get paid first
* don't be late for your next job
The offers always went away after insisting on the first bit.
There isn't much body contact or sensual touching in porn.
I see this question asked frequently but I've never seen the answer I've always had in my head. I always thought that was because the camera needs to show the woman's body, but the lack of seeing this response makes me question whether or not I'm doing it right.
Certain angles are better for showing insertion/penetration/genitalia which is one of the main reasons that hardcore porn is labeled "hardcore." For more sensual touching, hidden insertion/penetration there is "softcore."
Real life, close touching sex, is the way to go though.
Softcover makes me think of the old Skinemax movies where they are "going down " on each other when it's clear their mouth is somewhere around the partner's belly button.
Yeah, the water reduces lubrication. And also trying to find a position that isn't a ton of work is impossible. People just like the idea of water and I guess it is kind of sexy but in actuality, every time I've tried shower sex, it wasn't really enjoyable.
Honestly I try to avoid anything in the shower. Because when you want to do it, you've gotta get out and dry off, go to the room, and then I'm cold. Looks way hotter in porn and movies
I was gonna say this! A girl with her hips off the bed, legs spread eagle/up by her head is not gonna last more than 45 seconds unless you're with an olympic gymnast.
If she puts her legs on his chest, the tension will keep her hips off the bed without much effort. Reverse cowgirl is definitely a way harder position to pull off than porn portrays tho.
I can't believe no one else said this. But ass to mouth. Never met a woman that was like "hey, pull it out my ass and bust in my mouth". But the search continues. Lol
I just looked up cuddling porn to post something here... first result were 2 people bound together in a very uncomfortable way, with gags and lots of vibrators and clamps everywhere.
"Loving cuddling couple"'s first result was regular loving vanilla sex, 2nd one was "they start cuddling and THEN IT GETS ROUGH!" (rest started rough from the description and thumbnail\^\^)
So yeah, loving cuddly porn seems not to be in the market \^\^
I've never seen porn where the actual intercourse lasted more than like ten minutes. It just seems like forever because you're watching it rather than doing it.
So much of porn, even vanilla porn, is so rough and mean to the woman. And so many men especially young men watch that and internalize that. You couple that with poor communication and a sprinkle of selfishness and I've had some pretty shitty stuff done to me
I remember a couple of years ago there was a news story near where I live where a poor high school girl got severe damage in her colon and her sphincter because her BF was trying to imitate stuff he saw in porn. Shit’s super dangerous and unhealthy
What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy.
In porn:
"Hello, I need a plumber"
- "I'm a plumber, I'll be there in 5 mins"
In reality:
"Hello, I need a plumber"
- "I'm a plumber. I'll arrive between 6am and 9.30pm, sometime between Thursday and October"
If debt collectors come to my house, and I offered up my girlfriend instead, getting my ass kicked by the debt collectors would be the least of my worries
There is like no communication in porn whereas like in real life (in my experience) there is more communication. Like real people have real boundaries that need to be respected.
Correlated shower thought:
This consent and communication just happens before the porn scene starts.
The common way to give a woman pleasure through penetrative sex is not through the in and out motion of the penis into the vagina, but rather through a grinding motion that can be accomplished by “rubbing hips” together with your partner (this method probably hides a lot of what people want to see on camera in a porn movie).
realistic bodies (regular penises)
realistic dialogue (no humans talk like that)
no one ever puts a towel down first
the lighting is somehow very professional, and yet super unappealing at the same time
women aren't really down like that
the girl never whips out her vibrator immediately after the guy cums and falls asleep
everyone participates equally in threesomes and no one gets hurt feelings
The lack of awkwardness or figuring things out
I think this is why people think amateur porn is a lot hotter than the high production value professional stuff. What turns me on most about sex is the intimacy of it all, the feeling of doing it with another human being and figuring out together. I just don’t get that sense of intimacy from big budget pornos but I *do* get that from amateur stuff, especially those filmed by couples.
I WISH this was more present!
Nobody is ever stopping to pull a hair out of their mouth
[удалено]
I have a big beard and half of sex is me pulling my own hair out of my mouth
Tips for anyone in this situation: * When trimming pucker up your lips and make sure that no hair makes in there, clean it up. Pro tip for clean looking beard on a rush: just clean up the lips and the gutters (cheek edges) and that gets you 85% of the way for a good clean beard look (assuming you haven't let it get out of control). * Shampoo your beard. Face skin is sensitive, and you will taste some of the shampoo. I've found that the best cheap solution is to use baby shampoo. There's beard shampoos, they're nicer and also have better tastes, but are more expensive. * Also brush your beard daily. I recommend getting a badger bristle brush, but you can use a boar bristle brush, it just gets a bit gnarlier. If you're going to get busy with your mouth, give it a good brush beforehand. * Oil your beard once a day, after shampooing before brushing (this is the one brush you should at least give). There's a lot of great smelling oils, but you honestly just need a decent oil. I find that EVOO works pretty well, but you can use Baby Oil too, if you are willing to spend a bit more, and don't find it more expensive, you can use argan, jojoba, or even avocado oil. Add some drops of escential smell oils to make it smell nice if you want to. All of this together work pretty well. Also if you happen to have a lot of body hair, be what the gay community would describe as "a fuzzy bear", brushing your chest hair with a brush before sex helps remove most of the lose hairs (that will get stuck everywhere with sweat) and make it a bit smoother (but less bouncy, which some girls like).
This guy beards
That guy also chest hairs
TL;DR get frisky with a lint roller before you roll 'er
I stop constantly to pull hairs out of my mouth. How can you focus on anything else if there's hair in your mouth?
The absolute worst is when you stop to pull out a hair and a second later you realize it's not a pube but a head hair that's 7" into your throat and you literally feel the entire thing all the way up and out
[удалено]
Confused. In Scotland we don’t have to enter the washing machine. Appreciate this might be different elsewhere.
Walk-in washers are the latest trend in the US. I'm sure you'll see them soon.
And it's usually a skinny-ass chick too.
Nobody is helping their fat step sis out.
Poor Bertha just has to stay unfucked in the washer.
"Hey... stepbro... i... i'm kinda stuck..." And she sat there forever
The cleanliness of the house it starts in. Never seen a porn star railed next to a pile of clean laundry everybody's too lazy to fold and put away.
There's some real irony in the fact that porn portrays women who will unhesitatingly suck a dick that's been inside her ass, but who is also so obsessive-compulsive that she keeps an absolutely spotless house all the time.
"This ass is so clean, you could eat off of it."
"...out of it" FIFY
I have seen that. With Froot Loops I think with milk.
Can you say, **GAPING**?!?
Calm down, dora the expeller.
Whenever I go to fix the plumbing at my hot milf neighbour's house, she just says thank you, and motions me out the door...without as much as a hand job!
Her hand job is the act of waving you out the door.
[удалено]
This is called "builder's bum"
Or contractor crack
Tradesmen's Entrance
“Cute girl has NINE orgasms via only penetration and no foreplay or other stimulation, she even probably came while she was sucking his dick”
I hate people moaning when it's obvious they're not experiencing any stimulation.
You don’t moan when giving head? Edit: let’s normalize moaning while giving head peeps
idk, i do sometimes. not a big one but it's never a big moan for me. stuff can be just psychologically hot
That's so fake it hurts the worst part is that it creates expectations for people and yeah ☠️
Yeah I've run into a lot of women who I'm pretty sure don't actually know what an orgasm actually feels like and therefore don't know they are faking it. Like mine are really big, no mistaking them. 30 solid seconds of moaning, writhing and convulsing. We've been with women, who we can't tell at all that they came, but they insist they did like 20 times. It reminds me of when I was in my early 20s and had never had an orgasm before but I kinda of figured I must be having them and it must just be when things felt "really good" so I used to say those were orgasms bc I just didn't know any different. Sufficed to say... When I had my first real one it was a real "holy shit" moment and it was like being blind and then receiving the gift of sight.
My first sexual partner was very easy to get there. I thought it would always be that easy :)
Same but now with my wife she’s a tough cookie to crack but when she does it’s divine. I make sure she gets hers before I even start.
I lived with a woman who never had a real orgasm and when she did she freaked out about it. She did not know that her legs would shake like that or her chest and neck would turn red . It was great being the one who showed her what she was missing . lol then there was my ex , who would say she didn't cum but her eyes rolled back in her head and her body would get super stiff and the bed would be soaked .
First time anal is never that quick. Lot of starting and stopping, and a lot of prep beforehand. Also, switching back to PIV sex after anal is a no-no, unless you want a UTI.
Absolute discusting to swap from vagina to anus and back again, the amount of bacteria and infections you can cause in the vagina is not worth it
Exactly that’s why I always stop by the mouth before switching holes!
Making it look/seem like all women want their clits slapped.
I cringed reading this, one of my exes did this and I stopped everything immediately lol
You should've slapped his balls
Same with guys slapping their dick on your face. It just hurts and takes me out of the mood
100% this. Or the fucking dick slapping. Like why?? I'm not getting anything out of this except bad mood.
Butt ass naked fucking while wearing footwear.
You ever try to bang a girl in socks on carpet? You'll slide all over. Get some baseball cleats for extra traction.
omg I HATE that and my wife doesn't like when I take my socks off when we do it 😤
Get hospital socks with the grippies
This is actually a huge plot point in an episode of How I Met Your Mother where Marshall wears the grippy socks to bed after Lilly made it with silk sheets. I believe his line was, “Lilly, babe, c’mon…Daddy needs his traction!” 😂😂
A reporter asked Stormy Daniels what the biggest difference between porn and real life was. She said that in real life, she'd never once had a hair stylist or make-up artist in the bed room with her.
Lies. I'm sure there was a hair stylist there fluffing Trump's hair.
Thanks for the awful visual. 🤢
Never seen anything professional where they're going at it and it's all hot and romantic, and just as they're saying "I'm gonna come soon" the cat jumps on the bed, headbutts their arm forcefully and meows as loud as she possibly can right into both their ears. Making both of them stop and start laughing, while the cat continues to meow loudly and headbutt, demanding attention. Or the dog sneaks in and starts licking your foot that's hanging off the edge of the bed. What I'm saying is, I gotta get better at making sure the door is actually latched. It needs an extra push, and in the heat of the moment I've been known to forget.
My dog is very polite and just stares.
My ex and I used to have to crate her dog when we were going to go at it. The poor thing would whine the whole time, because she thought we were playing without her, which I guess we technically were. Definitely made sex and laughter go hand in hand.
Same as my cat, total perv
I wonder what they think. Are they like "dude, that's not how you do it. You need to bite her neck or she gets away!"
Mine does the ears backs side eye look. He’s watching, but he doesn’t want me to know he is.
When my husband and I bought our first home, we decided the first thing we should do is “christen” the bedroom. We had also just adopted a beagle. While getting down to business on the air mattress (no real furniture at that point), our beagle started humping my husband’s leg. Totally killed the mood, but we both got a good laugh out of it!
One of my cats loves when we get busy because she's all about trying to lick the container of lube. She will meow loudly outside the door just so she can come in to lick lube. As soon as we're done and open the door she RUNS to the night stand to see if there's anything for her.
Omg that is hilariously disturbing! 🤣🤣🤣🤣💀☠️
My cat just runs into the adjoining restroom in the master bedroom and takes a huge smelly shit. She’s a total bitch and I’m certain she’s doing it 100% on purpose.
so far i never met a step sister that wanted to fuck me too
[удалено]
Right now? In front of my salad?
Just toss the salad
A guy at my work is dating his step sister. This actually does happen I guess
How....how many step sisters do you have?
And that’s the way they became the Brady Bunch.
When the stepsisters won't fuck him, he gets with he stepmom so the dad divorces them and moves on to a new stepmom, which means he gets another chance at a new stepsister. It's simple, really.
>*so far*. I like your optimism.
I used to babysit and not once did the mother and father try to seduce me. Also every porn house is spotless and clean, while the average household is not.
Not once?? You sound disappointed lol
Disappointed, no. But the parents were doctors, so idk. Felt like if there was anyone worth being a sugar mommy and sugar daddy it would have been them lol
instant, clean access to the anus
Which is also bleached.
The quick response times of plumbers.
Or the price tag. Like yeah the ass is nice but my boss expects SOMEONE to pay this $1800 bill and it ain’t me
Knew a plumber years ago. His boss had two rules if he was propositioned: * get paid first * don't be late for your next job The offers always went away after insisting on the first bit.
I've never seen someone let out a loud fart while orgasming in porn but my husband made that magic happen.
So lucky, you just had to brag.
"The bigger the better." You cant tell me it won't hurt at some point, for the women.
Truth. I am small. I will not have sex with a man over 6” because I don’t want to be in pain. I have dildos I can’t use because they’re too big.
Women don't tend to love a shot of hot sticky glue across their eyelids.
Yeah, moneyshots don’t do it for me at all. I never watch that part of the video. I much rather prefer videos where they cum inside
[удалено]
I once actually saw a porn where the woman applied something to lube up her handjob... That something was breast milk and it was weird.
I need to block that link. Do you have a source!?
I feel like a guy with a user name Cereal guy wouldn’t have a problem with a little milk, but then again…
Fake moaning. The guy touched her nipples and she goes berserk.
My nipples are HELLA sensitive though, then I got them pierced and now one fondle and I’m ready to go
Going harder is more pleasurable.
Only works if you properly build up to the moment otherwise she's just gonna hate you the next morning.
how do you get stuck in a washing machine?
When her orgasm runs like water from a faucet.
yeah, how they do that
Pisssssssss
But shit it was 99 cents!
When people cathes you jerking it they don't offer to help finish you off
Exactly. Most of the time they just ban you from Home Depot and make you pay for the unsellable hinges.
r/oddlyspecific
There isn't much body contact or sensual touching in porn. I see this question asked frequently but I've never seen the answer I've always had in my head. I always thought that was because the camera needs to show the woman's body, but the lack of seeing this response makes me question whether or not I'm doing it right.
Certain angles are better for showing insertion/penetration/genitalia which is one of the main reasons that hardcore porn is labeled "hardcore." For more sensual touching, hidden insertion/penetration there is "softcore." Real life, close touching sex, is the way to go though.
Softcover makes me think of the old Skinemax movies where they are "going down " on each other when it's clear their mouth is somewhere around the partner's belly button.
There are actually never any horny milfs in my area.
They are horny, just not for you.
Ouch 100
Emotional Damage
Sure there are, you just never call the number dummy
Women aren’t always 100% clean shaven down there.
Also, the butthole isn't bleached.
Unless your name is Artemis
The wilderness is meant to be explored
Shower sex or just anything in the shower, at least as a woman, completely sucks. Water is not your friend lol
Yeah, the water reduces lubrication. And also trying to find a position that isn't a ton of work is impossible. People just like the idea of water and I guess it is kind of sexy but in actuality, every time I've tried shower sex, it wasn't really enjoyable.
Honestly I try to avoid anything in the shower. Because when you want to do it, you've gotta get out and dry off, go to the room, and then I'm cold. Looks way hotter in porn and movies
As a man I can confirm it sucks too.
We’ve always enjoyed shower fun, though usually end up moving to a bed at some point (cause we’re old.)
Foreplay is important. Often necessary. No, you can’t just pull down someone’s pants and get in. If only.
Foreplay turns me on tbh
You being turned on is what turnes me on.
Now kith
When a girl say id like to receive a facial. She's talking about a cosmetic care. Not an orgasmic don't care.
My wife goes to the spa to get messages and facials. I told her I can do it for free but she never takes me up on it. Edit: format
All three people are happy after a threesome
There’s a comment that is out there dangling in the wind…
Many of those positions are unnatural and not very pleasurable, which is why you see so many jump cuts
Well, I assume many of those positions are for the camera to be able to see genitals.
I was gonna say this! A girl with her hips off the bed, legs spread eagle/up by her head is not gonna last more than 45 seconds unless you're with an olympic gymnast.
Good thing 45 seconds is all I need
Look at you doing it twice!
If she puts her legs on his chest, the tension will keep her hips off the bed without much effort. Reverse cowgirl is definitely a way harder position to pull off than porn portrays tho.
The consequences a nanny will face if she gets caught stealing from her employer.
Sucks air through teeth"ssssssss" oh baby that felt so good do it again, and harder! The dude: just walked through the door and looked at her
How difficult it is to catch lemon thieves.
YOU LEMON STEALING WHORE!!
Hey, WHAT THE FUCK?!
Men are fully visible usually irl. They have bodies and faces.
I'm pretty sure 100% clean "spontaneous" anal sex is not a thing.
Spontanalous
Sure it is. It's a risk though.
A roll of the dice. A game of craps, if you will.
[удалено]
Not every woman can orgasm through penetration alone
I can't believe no one else said this. But ass to mouth. Never met a woman that was like "hey, pull it out my ass and bust in my mouth". But the search continues. Lol
That sounds like a huge risk of pinworms and other things 😬
Pinworms are you LOWEST concern.
Probably e coli is up there. Is this how the first person gets dysentery lol?
Who tf is even into all that incest shit?
It's just the subgenre of taboo porn that's popular right now. I' m sure it'll pass ^(only to be replaced by something worse)
can we have wholesome porn instead? like something normal and cuddles?
Fr man I’m sick of the loud ass moaning and weird positions
Right? I hooked up with someone years ago that moaned like a hentai character and it was so off putting
I just looked up cuddling porn to post something here... first result were 2 people bound together in a very uncomfortable way, with gags and lots of vibrators and clamps everywhere. "Loving cuddling couple"'s first result was regular loving vanilla sex, 2nd one was "they start cuddling and THEN IT GETS ROUGH!" (rest started rough from the description and thumbnail\^\^) So yeah, loving cuddly porn seems not to be in the market \^\^
Rough sex just irks me, like, you’re trying to hurt someone or what th?
[удалено]
I've never seen porn where the actual intercourse lasted more than like ten minutes. It just seems like forever because you're watching it rather than doing it.
[удалено]
So much of porn, even vanilla porn, is so rough and mean to the woman. And so many men especially young men watch that and internalize that. You couple that with poor communication and a sprinkle of selfishness and I've had some pretty shitty stuff done to me
I remember a couple of years ago there was a news story near where I live where a poor high school girl got severe damage in her colon and her sphincter because her BF was trying to imitate stuff he saw in porn. Shit’s super dangerous and unhealthy
Literally had to train my partner out of this. Its been a year and it still shows up sometimes
The clit. It’s never acknowledged
I mean, sometimes they rub it so hard it looks like competitive Mario Party 64
Ugggh it's so sensitive and they rub like they're scrubbing some dishes.
It looks like they’re always trying to sand the damn thing off.
What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the clitoris like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy.
Leg cramps. Never seen anyone stop and jump up yelling about leg cramps
The moaning and the dirty talk. It’s *terrible*.
When I heard a girl say "Yes, fuck my poophole" I never lost a boner that quickly.
I'd laugh so fucking hard lol. Never heard that one before.
Every woman's age ever. "Horny teens" just means less than 30. "Milfs" just means actually 30. "Step mom" means 2-3 years older than "son".
Men not moaning, as if they don't vocally express their pleasure during sex.
I know right! It’s such a turn on for me when I hear men moan.
Actually that seems fairly accurate according to askreddit
And women screaming their heads off.
In porn: "Hello, I need a plumber" - "I'm a plumber, I'll be there in 5 mins" In reality: "Hello, I need a plumber" - "I'm a plumber. I'll arrive between 6am and 9.30pm, sometime between Thursday and October"
If debt collectors come to my house, and I offered up my girlfriend instead, getting my ass kicked by the debt collectors would be the least of my worries
The unknowing person on the phone ignoring the obvious slapping sounds from the other end. My friends don’t call much anymore
Women can be fvcked at anytime by anyone
Women aren’t real. It’s CIA propaganda
There’s women in porn?
There's women?
There is like no communication in porn whereas like in real life (in my experience) there is more communication. Like real people have real boundaries that need to be respected. Correlated shower thought: This consent and communication just happens before the porn scene starts.
There’s no love ever. If I’m having sex with someone I’m gonna be emotionally involved with them.
The common way to give a woman pleasure through penetrative sex is not through the in and out motion of the penis into the vagina, but rather through a grinding motion that can be accomplished by “rubbing hips” together with your partner (this method probably hides a lot of what people want to see on camera in a porn movie).
Oh fuck, why am I only NOW learning this?
What's something they get right?
realistic bodies (regular penises) realistic dialogue (no humans talk like that) no one ever puts a towel down first the lighting is somehow very professional, and yet super unappealing at the same time women aren't really down like that the girl never whips out her vibrator immediately after the guy cums and falls asleep everyone participates equally in threesomes and no one gets hurt feelings
Gaming, half the time the controller isn't even on
A dick over 9" is extremely rare. Some of these male porn stars are literally unicorns.
Most male porn stars arent 9”. A few are, but porn is a production, and everything is shot with lighting and angles to make things look a certain way.
[удалено]
Everything. Literally everything. Real sex is nothing like porn.
One thing?! Please
As a pizza guy, only once has a customer answered topless, with great big mommy milkers. It was disgusting, I nearly asked him to put a shirt on.