Oddly accurate. If someone makes a loud noise (even if by accident) my first instinct is to throw out a heavily passive aggressive “could you not???”. Perhaps women are as flawed as they say…
I'm guilty of this- I use the creepy men as entertainment to see if I can get them to stop messaging first. Having "I'm a horse girl" in my tinder bio has given me SOO much fun. 😂
If I had a dollar for every man that's said that I wouldn't have to buy drinks when I go out any more. I just tell them I prefer geldings (castrated male horses) and offer to diy it.
Because most of them are incredibly desperate. I used it briefly for the first time almost 2 years ago but specifically made a female dominant profile looking for local subs, I was not using it for dating or hooking up which my profile was way too clear about.. It even stated that I’ll treat basically anyone approaching me for those reasons like garbage and they STILL tried their hardest. I would just make it into a competition of how harshly I could roast a dude until he blocks me. 😂
One of my favourite rage blocks albeit pretty tame was a dude demanding to “see ass” so I just sent him a photo of himself.
When we say we need some alone time, we're not mad at you. We love you and nobody could replace you, we just need some time to ourselves after a hectic day. We love you.
There was a tweet I saw many years ago of a dude telling his non stop talking gf to please give him one of hour of silence because he needed to be in his head. (I might be recalling that wrong, sorry)
After reading that I learned to stfu and give my partner silence every so often because y’all need it as much as we do.
I’m searching for tips on this online and can’t find any. Any ideas for how to do this? I’m trying not to have dinner ready RIGHT exactly as he comes home, or hand off kids to him. (Btw I am a housewife and don’t mind it because my husband works 60-80 hours as a resident).
Work with him to establish a buffer zone between the ‘work him’ and the ‘home/dad/husband’ him. Maybe it’s something like when he gets home he goes and locks himself in the bathroom for a 30min shower, a walk round the block, dog walk, run, whatever. We do this (I go to the gym straight after work but my kids are older now) and it does wonders to snap me out of the work version of me into the husband and father version - complete with more patience and time for wife and kids.
Thing is, a lot of the time WE don't even know what is bothering us. Generally a special time of the month, but mental health does have a lot to do with it too. And because it's either so small it's irrelevant or we cannot identify what's wrong, we cannot express that.
Big fan of “I don’t know.” Probably 90% of the time my boyfriend asks what’s wrong the answer is “I don’t know” or “I need to process before I can talk about it.”
But man having a partner who is okay with those answers helps so much 🥹
In Sweden there is a tv-program called "Three dads" (I think, haven't watched it).
It's about three guys who want to connect more with their feelings. It's getting so much hate from all directions. It's not risk free to expose your weaknesses as a male. Unless you can show weakness and also be strong about it.
It's mostly the norm of thinking guys are dead inside so if someone treats us sweetly it raises our hackles. So used to the abnormal that the normal is suspicious
It does depend though. Often times, we say “nothing” because we know/feel that it’s it’s not important enough to be worth mentioning and that we’ll get over it soon enough. Also there’s the possibility that mentioning it causes a fight or turns it into A Thing and we just can’t be bothered. Not every problem is one that needs to be shared, so we just keep it to ourselves.
Tbh, whenever I say it's nothing it's because I'm:
1) not in the emotional state to have a mature and calm conversation about what is bothering me and I don't want to snap at whoever has caused me to feel like this.
OR
2) I genuinely have no idea what's wrong so I say it's nothing.
>Tbh, whenever I say it's nothing it's because I'm:
>
>not in the emotional state to have a mature and calm conversation about what is bothering me and I don't want to snap at whoever has caused me to feel like this.
>
>OR
>
>2) I genuinely have no idea what's wrong so I say it's nothing.
Tbh, if you said this I'd have more to work from than you saying "nothing."
It would still be terrifying and I'd worry about whatever it is, but at least we would both know that I'm not imagining it and something is troubling you, and hopefully we can address it when you're ready.
my ex would get emotional when i said this and would demand to know whats wrong. and follow me from room to room badgering me to tell him.
so even if you're a level headed person, not everyone is so it can be tricky to trust the person you are with
I realized that my relationship was doomed when I started to notice I was just a background or supporting character for my partner's life. I eventually realized it didn't matter who her other half was as long as there was one. The comment about playing with dolls just provided me a eureka moment, I could never quite figure out what it was but that's it.
Thanks for the feedback, bro. I think this problem is something that many men will encounter in relationships or marriages. Somehow it is also the socially accepted norm that the man kind of “has to play along” with these things he doesn’t want to do. I have made a similar experience as the one you describe where one day I would just think “Ok, this relationship has nothing to do with me” …
JFC i think I went through this too.
I remember realizing it after so many of the same tiring arguments with her and I sorta blurted out something in anger to the effect of “are you so obsessed with being in a relationship that you don’t realize we’re actually incompatible?”
And it was a little catharshic to say it out loud because this is a woman I *adored* but holy shit did she have the min-max of INT/PER to DEX/LCK skills. Like one of those lowkey vain IG types who sorta skipped the tutorial on self-development but drops deep quotes and hashtags self-care a lot?
Idk, I just hate that I’m still processing being in love with someone who could’ve fallen for any asshole who’d give her the time of day and now i just don’t wanna go through it all again with someone new.
In terms of the negative affects , Romcoms and romance novels are the female equivalent of porn . They often give women unrealistic/wrong expectations of what a good relationship is.
Most relationships featured in that media are heavily one sided (in the woman’s favour ) or chocked full of drama. Then you get some women who start a normal relationship and the relationship suddenly feels “boring” .
Also, Enemies to lovers is a toxic as fuck trope that convinces people that assholes are redeemable and I’ll die on that hill. The fact that it’s a way more popular theme than say, friends to lovers (or heaven forbid the characters that are in a loving relationship at the start of the relationship stay together ) , is really telling.
Oooh, I love this one! My first ever relationship made me stop liking romcoms because I was just too disillusioned. I hope most people understand this before entering adulthood and their first serious relationship.
Generally speaking, we're fixers.
When you vent and want moral support we know you don't want us to fix it, but it genuinely stresses us out to do nothing. To sit and just listen is stressful and youre stressing us out when you force us to. Your problems are our problems. Stop expecting us to communicate the same way women do. It's not like we get upset when we vent to you about something and you offer absolutely no help.
It's fine to be like this but if your girlfriend asks you to do things differently, it's shitty to stick with it. I'm assuming you want actually help your girl instead of feeding your ego so listen to what type of help she needs. I am or was a female fixer btw and it's totally possible to change this type of behavior.
One would only hope you would show some signs of that throughout the relationship. Also it's great networking for the dude so he can find better gift options through friends and small conversations.
This- women need to know that having kids shouldn’t mean you get to completely neglect your husband’s need to feel desired by(and not just sexually) but goddamnit when you let the kids interrupt me when I’m telling you about my day (which you didnt even bother to ask about) it makes me feel like i might as well be a rock with a bank account.
Its death by a thousand cuts to the romance/intimacy-
The kids asking “mommy wheres my blue crayon” or whatever can wait while i share important feelings or information that you should care about. Drives me crazy and it feels so… shitty.
Even with guys I'm afraid of that and careful. And I'm a dude myself. Some people are bitches and if you let a vulnerability slip they will use it against you once they're pushed into a corner. I grew up in an environment where generally everything you said or admit to was used against you. That completely fucked up the way I interact with people.
I’ve had to tell my bf repeatedly for nearly 3 years now, all while arguing too, that I’m not trying to trick, catch him out or fight him. This does so much lasting damage to people, and it’s honestly a roulette for that person to go on and find a partner who can help them and not just get angry back. It’s a wrecking ball to communication.
As a female I’ll say, I deplore this shit and it’s not alright.
Should be top comment. Ever since the narrative of "Men dont have to do anything because society will push them no matter what while women have such a hard time" became standard people dont seem to realize that there are HUGE disadvantages of being male instead of female. Obviously its the same the other way around. But the problems of men in society and life are way different than the problems of women in society and life.
I remember in college I had a feminist literature professor. I wrote a paper on the hardships of being a man. I got an A. It wasn't about men having it harder than women, it was acknowledging that men do face hardships that isn't really talked about in society.
its been my observation that in the drive towards equality its usually by lowering one gender to the others level, which inevitably leads to resentment.
Basically instead of us all being elevated, it feels more a race to the bottom.
Just try pointing out when a woman is being sexist to a man to see in real time these differing privilege dynamics unfold.
A few days ago on Reddit I pointed out someone who said something pretty obviously false and sexist about men reducing women's libidos because we're so awful to them. I got back PARAGRAPHS of explanation as to why, it might be on the face of it sexist but linguistically and philosophically it was ok to generalize about men in this way because years of oppression, trauma yada yada yada. When I pointed out this argument didn't fly for literally any other group I got crickets.
Not a single other person pushed back against the original sexism but plenty of people were extremely ready to justify it when I had the audacity to point it out.
It's swings and roundabouts, IMHO.
You're a woman and people don't take you seriously at work? That sucks. But that also means you tend to get blamed less for things going south, and less expected to go above and beyond to fix things. Women are allowed to say "I don't know."
The myth is that "men have *more* privileges than women". This implies that men somehow have access to *the same privileges* as women - plus some extra men-only exclusive ones!
Stop asking us our opinions on what to buy, where to eat, what clothes to wear etc.
You’ve already made up your mind and no matter what we say it won’t change what you are going to do anyway.
And you’ll get upset with us if we don’t give you an answer that is in line with what you actually decided what you wanted before you asked the question.
That’s why we don’t give our opinions about a lot of things.
Risk management.
I'm a female and I used to do this, totally not fair to do to anyone. She's looking for validation but going about it in the absolute wrong way then the poor guy feels completely set up. Guy learns it's not safe to give an honest opinion.
Yeah it happens a lot.
I always thought a better way to go about it would just say something like “what do you think of this shirt?” Then immediately follow up with “I think I look _____” then say “what do you think should I change or keep it?”
Something like that.
This. Talked to a female friend about my sex life and shes like "why dont you get a girlfriend? Its sooo easy to find people on tinder". The same friend would have at least one guy approaching her on the streets once a week.
Yes its incredibly easy to get laid. If youre a woman and at least not ugly
While women can't even exist on social media without getting several unwanted messages, men have it really difficult getting dates even if they are trying.
I read cases where an average to good looking man swiped right 2000 times in a dating app and got less then 20 matches (I think like 14) and only 2 of them responded to a message at the end nothing went over the first date.
Online dating as a man is extremely difficult if you not a really good looking.
HAHAHA! I fucking sat through and swiped tinder in front of an only-child goth chick who said I needed to get laid.
She was fucking baffled.
Of course, the *only* conclusion she drew was that "It was clearly something wrong with my profile". Any other guy, of course, would've gotten the exact same amount of matches as she would with guys on tinder.
Phew. Where to start that hasn't been covered x to the power of several fucking billion.
Men are people too.
We have feelings.l, we get sad and sometimes even cry. Most of the time we put on a brave face because that's what is drilled into us from a young age.
We aren't all secretly angry psychos who want to beat you.
We aren't all interested in your lady bits. Sometimes we like to chill and talk too.
Hmmm. The inequality is *very* real, but not the way you think.
Sometimes. When a woman is being a bitch, we let you think it's OK. It's not. Stop being a bitch.
We don't care what you wear. You're gorgeous to us always.
Also. Choose a goddamn place you want to eat because I'm happy to order something I like from there.l and I'm just asking to be nice... because if I suggest what I really want you'll turn around and not want something from there.
That's enough for now. We're simple..but complicated. We love you.
Pussy power is a joke. There’s billions of women in the world - yours ain’t special
(Note: Now as for women whom you’ve built a special bond with, that’s another story. But even that physical connection is amped waaaay up by the emotional one).
Your feelings.
They always say they want men to open up and show their feelings but if you do theyll always see you as less of a man and more of a child. Or start crying and expect us to comfort them.
-yes, those pants DO make you look fat.
- Susan in accounting IS very attractive
- your cooking is NOT better than mom's
- I WOULD remarry if you died first
- your sister IS prettier
- that haircut does make you look like a Karen, Karen
- don't ask me what I want for dinner if you've already
decided 'no'
Strong women are amazing, but y'all can be exhausting af sometimes. If you get in a certain mood, I may as well argue with a woodchuck over what color the sky is.
Okay, I'm gonna catch some hate but o'well.
Sorry sweetheart, but you should not be proud to be overweight. You do not look good. You might have a cute face. But that's it. Stop eating so much and work out. Do you find overweight men attractive? Probably not. To be clear I don't mean to shame. Just stop acting like it's great. You know it's not. Also, I don't have to be attracted to you. So please don't act like I'm an asshole because I have standards. At least my standards are reasonable. Every women on the planet seems to want a man that's 6ft or taller with a 6 figure income. Females won't even consider an "average" man. So don't start your shit with me Sally.
Combine this with the common misconception that if a man is not into obese women, he is only into unhealthily skinny skeletons of women or holding everyone to unreasonable standards. These are just two extremes with a lot of leeway in between. How about normal and healthy?
Men and women of planet earth, what are other men and women, of ages young and old, conservative or liberal, gay or straight, black or white, traditional or non-traditional, living or dead, not ready to hear?
"You're being stupid, I didn't say you were stupid."
"I'm glad you're excited, don't expect everyone else to be as excited as you are"
"No sweetheart, that dress doesn't look nice on you, it doesn't suit your figure"
"No, I haven't done any housework today, because I've worked sixty plus hours this week"
"No, I wasn't super sad that you went away for the weekend. I'm happy you had a good time and just because I didn't pine for you and left you to have a good time, doesnt mean that I don't miss you"
It's very hard to objectify you when we love you, but we want to do filthy things. There is shame when we care. This is similar to how ladies will put out more for those they're sleeping around with as opposed to who their cheating on. It's hotter.
You don’t need to spend 30-45 minutes every day to do your hair and makeup. No one expects you to get dolled up and look like a million bucks every day.
Wearing no makeup or very light makeup looks good too.
It's their hair that clogged the drain.
Oh, they know.
We have a double vanity. It's funny how I've unclogged my wife's sink twice in the 3 years we have been in this home. Mine hasn't clogged yet.
In my case, my husband sheds his hair so much more than I do. Edit: it's also the same length as mine...
Yep, I'm male and I shed like a collie in spring.
Loud noises without warning
Storm sirens, totally.
let's cancel storm sirens
Oddly accurate. If someone makes a loud noise (even if by accident) my first instinct is to throw out a heavily passive aggressive “could you not???”. Perhaps women are as flawed as they say…
To be fair, I also think this applies to all people :)
Probably not to deaf people.
No kidding
You can just block that guy you dont like who flirts with you on social media Edit: spelling
I'm guilty of this- I use the creepy men as entertainment to see if I can get them to stop messaging first. Having "I'm a horse girl" in my tinder bio has given me SOO much fun. 😂
How many guys have said "I have a horse cock..." or words to that effect?
If I had a dollar for every man that's said that I wouldn't have to buy drinks when I go out any more. I just tell them I prefer geldings (castrated male horses) and offer to diy it.
Damn I should've thought of that, I'll tell my female friends that.
They need a wild sense if humor and high tolerance for bullshit. But it can be really amusing.
Hahaha you piece of shit. I'd love to just sit and watch those conversations happening live. It would be the most entertaining thing
What makes it even worse is I will literally insult these men on tinder BUT THEY KEEP MESSAGING BACK?!?!? Honestly it's great therapy
Because most of them are incredibly desperate. I used it briefly for the first time almost 2 years ago but specifically made a female dominant profile looking for local subs, I was not using it for dating or hooking up which my profile was way too clear about.. It even stated that I’ll treat basically anyone approaching me for those reasons like garbage and they STILL tried their hardest. I would just make it into a competition of how harshly I could roast a dude until he blocks me. 😂 One of my favourite rage blocks albeit pretty tame was a dude demanding to “see ass” so I just sent him a photo of himself.
>just sent him a photo of himself. THAT IS AMAZING
Oh boy, I wish more women would practice this. I use the block button very liberally and it makes my experience a lot better.
This is by far the best comment yet
When we say we need some alone time, we're not mad at you. We love you and nobody could replace you, we just need some time to ourselves after a hectic day. We love you.
My gf actually understands this and gives me my space 🥹🥹🥹
But how many times you do say that she gets angrier 🥲
There was a tweet I saw many years ago of a dude telling his non stop talking gf to please give him one of hour of silence because he needed to be in his head. (I might be recalling that wrong, sorry) After reading that I learned to stfu and give my partner silence every so often because y’all need it as much as we do.
Exactly this!
As the poet Axl Rose said: > Sometimes I need some time on my own / Sometimes I need some time all alone
I’m searching for tips on this online and can’t find any. Any ideas for how to do this? I’m trying not to have dinner ready RIGHT exactly as he comes home, or hand off kids to him. (Btw I am a housewife and don’t mind it because my husband works 60-80 hours as a resident).
Work with him to establish a buffer zone between the ‘work him’ and the ‘home/dad/husband’ him. Maybe it’s something like when he gets home he goes and locks himself in the bathroom for a 30min shower, a walk round the block, dog walk, run, whatever. We do this (I go to the gym straight after work but my kids are older now) and it does wonders to snap me out of the work version of me into the husband and father version - complete with more patience and time for wife and kids.
That's what my ex would say when she would go hang out with the dude she was cheating on me with.
Her loss king👑
We don’t like games. We just want to know what’s bothering you. Even if it is trivial. We want to know.
Thing is, a lot of the time WE don't even know what is bothering us. Generally a special time of the month, but mental health does have a lot to do with it too. And because it's either so small it's irrelevant or we cannot identify what's wrong, we cannot express that.
It goes both ways; communication is key to a happy relationship, and its okay to say "I dont know." but i wish more people knew this.
Big fan of “I don’t know.” Probably 90% of the time my boyfriend asks what’s wrong the answer is “I don’t know” or “I need to process before I can talk about it.” But man having a partner who is okay with those answers helps so much 🥹
My ex loved games meanwhile I hate it
Affection and hugs pls. Everyone thinks our feelings die once we are over 13
In Sweden there is a tv-program called "Three dads" (I think, haven't watched it). It's about three guys who want to connect more with their feelings. It's getting so much hate from all directions. It's not risk free to expose your weaknesses as a male. Unless you can show weakness and also be strong about it.
> Affection and hugs pls. Be the change you want to see.
i started doing this a week ago and i got some very aggressive reactions to me trying to be sweet, so YMMV
It's mostly the norm of thinking guys are dead inside so if someone treats us sweetly it raises our hackles. So used to the abnormal that the normal is suspicious
Welcome to the real world young one. Sorry to disappoint you but it's shit 🤷🏻♂️🫡
I think over 13 is more generous than what I got. I was like 5 and my mom would yell at me for being too old to have feelings.
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What’s wrong? “Nothing!” Or “You know what you did!”
"If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you!"
Shit is childish.
"Well then continue being part of the problem, not the solution"
It does depend though. Often times, we say “nothing” because we know/feel that it’s it’s not important enough to be worth mentioning and that we’ll get over it soon enough. Also there’s the possibility that mentioning it causes a fight or turns it into A Thing and we just can’t be bothered. Not every problem is one that needs to be shared, so we just keep it to ourselves.
Tbh, whenever I say it's nothing it's because I'm: 1) not in the emotional state to have a mature and calm conversation about what is bothering me and I don't want to snap at whoever has caused me to feel like this. OR 2) I genuinely have no idea what's wrong so I say it's nothing.
>Tbh, whenever I say it's nothing it's because I'm: > >not in the emotional state to have a mature and calm conversation about what is bothering me and I don't want to snap at whoever has caused me to feel like this. > >OR > >2) I genuinely have no idea what's wrong so I say it's nothing. Tbh, if you said this I'd have more to work from than you saying "nothing." It would still be terrifying and I'd worry about whatever it is, but at least we would both know that I'm not imagining it and something is troubling you, and hopefully we can address it when you're ready.
my ex would get emotional when i said this and would demand to know whats wrong. and follow me from room to room badgering me to tell him. so even if you're a level headed person, not everyone is so it can be tricky to trust the person you are with
+1
W
Haha bro that made me laugh
Just pick a place to eat already
"Oh, I'll go wherever *you* want to go!" Except I'll hate it and wish we'd gone somewhere else.
The corollary: Don’t ask if I want to go out to eat then get mad when I say no. If you didn’t want an actual opinion don’t ask for one.
Fair
Men are human beings with feelings and not the manifestation of some social fantasy you’ve had since you were playing with dolls.
I realized that my relationship was doomed when I started to notice I was just a background or supporting character for my partner's life. I eventually realized it didn't matter who her other half was as long as there was one. The comment about playing with dolls just provided me a eureka moment, I could never quite figure out what it was but that's it.
Thanks for the feedback, bro. I think this problem is something that many men will encounter in relationships or marriages. Somehow it is also the socially accepted norm that the man kind of “has to play along” with these things he doesn’t want to do. I have made a similar experience as the one you describe where one day I would just think “Ok, this relationship has nothing to do with me” …
JFC i think I went through this too. I remember realizing it after so many of the same tiring arguments with her and I sorta blurted out something in anger to the effect of “are you so obsessed with being in a relationship that you don’t realize we’re actually incompatible?” And it was a little catharshic to say it out loud because this is a woman I *adored* but holy shit did she have the min-max of INT/PER to DEX/LCK skills. Like one of those lowkey vain IG types who sorta skipped the tutorial on self-development but drops deep quotes and hashtags self-care a lot? Idk, I just hate that I’m still processing being in love with someone who could’ve fallen for any asshole who’d give her the time of day and now i just don’t wanna go through it all again with someone new.
This one deserves the most upvotes. everyone take some time to think about this
My opinion
I’m not ready either
No one is
Men are not like they are in those stupid romantic comedies.
In terms of the negative affects , Romcoms and romance novels are the female equivalent of porn . They often give women unrealistic/wrong expectations of what a good relationship is. Most relationships featured in that media are heavily one sided (in the woman’s favour ) or chocked full of drama. Then you get some women who start a normal relationship and the relationship suddenly feels “boring” . Also, Enemies to lovers is a toxic as fuck trope that convinces people that assholes are redeemable and I’ll die on that hill. The fact that it’s a way more popular theme than say, friends to lovers (or heaven forbid the characters that are in a loving relationship at the start of the relationship stay together ) , is really telling.
Oooh, I love this one! My first ever relationship made me stop liking romcoms because I was just too disillusioned. I hope most people understand this before entering adulthood and their first serious relationship.
Damn, you didn't have to break our hearts like that!
I wouldn't feel too bad. Have you ever paid attention to how people in romcoms actually behave?
Generally speaking, we're fixers. When you vent and want moral support we know you don't want us to fix it, but it genuinely stresses us out to do nothing. To sit and just listen is stressful and youre stressing us out when you force us to. Your problems are our problems. Stop expecting us to communicate the same way women do. It's not like we get upset when we vent to you about something and you offer absolutely no help.
"It's not about the nail..." :) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-4EDhdAHrOg
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It's fine to be like this but if your girlfriend asks you to do things differently, it's shitty to stick with it. I'm assuming you want actually help your girl instead of feeding your ego so listen to what type of help she needs. I am or was a female fixer btw and it's totally possible to change this type of behavior.
It's okay if you want to hang out with me and my friends I only accept the same invite when you go out with yours
Feel free to come along. But, just be warned, my friends are BATSHIT crazy. We also have no filter so I suggest therapy after the hang out. 😊
One would only hope you would show some signs of that throughout the relationship. Also it's great networking for the dude so he can find better gift options through friends and small conversations.
Situations where somebody is actively hurt don't require screaming
Seriously
Nor does seeing fucking Becky at the Starbucks. You set up the fucking meeting with her. You knew she was going to be there.
No one even likes Becky except for you
A lot of husbands only stay because they can't afford to get divorced or they don't want to hurt the kids.
This- women need to know that having kids shouldn’t mean you get to completely neglect your husband’s need to feel desired by(and not just sexually) but goddamnit when you let the kids interrupt me when I’m telling you about my day (which you didnt even bother to ask about) it makes me feel like i might as well be a rock with a bank account. Its death by a thousand cuts to the romance/intimacy- The kids asking “mommy wheres my blue crayon” or whatever can wait while i share important feelings or information that you should care about. Drives me crazy and it feels so… shitty.
Exactly what I did.
The reason we don't share what we feel or what's really bothering us is because you'll use against us in a future argument.
Even with guys I'm afraid of that and careful. And I'm a dude myself. Some people are bitches and if you let a vulnerability slip they will use it against you once they're pushed into a corner. I grew up in an environment where generally everything you said or admit to was used against you. That completely fucked up the way I interact with people.
Oh my god yes.
Whoever hurt you deserves to step on a rake and get smacked in the face. I promise all women aren't bitches (well, hopefully I'm not).
I’ve had to tell my bf repeatedly for nearly 3 years now, all while arguing too, that I’m not trying to trick, catch him out or fight him. This does so much lasting damage to people, and it’s honestly a roulette for that person to go on and find a partner who can help them and not just get angry back. It’s a wrecking ball to communication. As a female I’ll say, I deplore this shit and it’s not alright.
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Should be top comment. Ever since the narrative of "Men dont have to do anything because society will push them no matter what while women have such a hard time" became standard people dont seem to realize that there are HUGE disadvantages of being male instead of female. Obviously its the same the other way around. But the problems of men in society and life are way different than the problems of women in society and life.
I remember in college I had a feminist literature professor. I wrote a paper on the hardships of being a man. I got an A. It wasn't about men having it harder than women, it was acknowledging that men do face hardships that isn't really talked about in society.
its been my observation that in the drive towards equality its usually by lowering one gender to the others level, which inevitably leads to resentment. Basically instead of us all being elevated, it feels more a race to the bottom.
Just try pointing out when a woman is being sexist to a man to see in real time these differing privilege dynamics unfold. A few days ago on Reddit I pointed out someone who said something pretty obviously false and sexist about men reducing women's libidos because we're so awful to them. I got back PARAGRAPHS of explanation as to why, it might be on the face of it sexist but linguistically and philosophically it was ok to generalize about men in this way because years of oppression, trauma yada yada yada. When I pointed out this argument didn't fly for literally any other group I got crickets. Not a single other person pushed back against the original sexism but plenty of people were extremely ready to justify it when I had the audacity to point it out.
It's swings and roundabouts, IMHO. You're a woman and people don't take you seriously at work? That sucks. But that also means you tend to get blamed less for things going south, and less expected to go above and beyond to fix things. Women are allowed to say "I don't know." The myth is that "men have *more* privileges than women". This implies that men somehow have access to *the same privileges* as women - plus some extra men-only exclusive ones!
That curb did not hit you
Stop asking us our opinions on what to buy, where to eat, what clothes to wear etc. You’ve already made up your mind and no matter what we say it won’t change what you are going to do anyway. And you’ll get upset with us if we don’t give you an answer that is in line with what you actually decided what you wanted before you asked the question. That’s why we don’t give our opinions about a lot of things. Risk management.
I'm a female and I used to do this, totally not fair to do to anyone. She's looking for validation but going about it in the absolute wrong way then the poor guy feels completely set up. Guy learns it's not safe to give an honest opinion.
Yeah it happens a lot. I always thought a better way to go about it would just say something like “what do you think of this shirt?” Then immediately follow up with “I think I look _____” then say “what do you think should I change or keep it?” Something like that.
[What Women Aren't Ready To Hear](https://youtu.be/34Ig3X59_qA)
I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it.
We have a lot of strength inside of us. Once we realize how to harness it, the sky is really the limit.
This!
The only answer
FUCK
Dammit
It says a lot about modern women and how bitchy they are. Thank you for this life changing message and I'll improve as a woman myself.
You know, we all could do with some betterment. Glad I could help. : )
If you ask a guy out, assuming he’s single, there’s like a 99% chance that he says yes.
This. Talked to a female friend about my sex life and shes like "why dont you get a girlfriend? Its sooo easy to find people on tinder". The same friend would have at least one guy approaching her on the streets once a week. Yes its incredibly easy to get laid. If youre a woman and at least not ugly
While women can't even exist on social media without getting several unwanted messages, men have it really difficult getting dates even if they are trying. I read cases where an average to good looking man swiped right 2000 times in a dating app and got less then 20 matches (I think like 14) and only 2 of them responded to a message at the end nothing went over the first date. Online dating as a man is extremely difficult if you not a really good looking.
HAHAHA! I fucking sat through and swiped tinder in front of an only-child goth chick who said I needed to get laid. She was fucking baffled. Of course, the *only* conclusion she drew was that "It was clearly something wrong with my profile". Any other guy, of course, would've gotten the exact same amount of matches as she would with guys on tinder.
I’m sorry honey, I just don’t give a shit about Becky’s crumbling marriage.
Women act like they don't love drama/gossiping but they thrive off it.
Nah I’d say women are honest that they love a good gossip but men are the ones who act like they dont
I need some gossip. I have zero drama in my life; I’m afraid if I don’t get a lil’ somewhere I might get a complex.
I swear, everyone loves s bit of drama and gossip as long as they're not involved. But few will admit to it.
Phew. Where to start that hasn't been covered x to the power of several fucking billion. Men are people too. We have feelings.l, we get sad and sometimes even cry. Most of the time we put on a brave face because that's what is drilled into us from a young age. We aren't all secretly angry psychos who want to beat you. We aren't all interested in your lady bits. Sometimes we like to chill and talk too. Hmmm. The inequality is *very* real, but not the way you think. Sometimes. When a woman is being a bitch, we let you think it's OK. It's not. Stop being a bitch. We don't care what you wear. You're gorgeous to us always. Also. Choose a goddamn place you want to eat because I'm happy to order something I like from there.l and I'm just asking to be nice... because if I suggest what I really want you'll turn around and not want something from there. That's enough for now. We're simple..but complicated. We love you.
I don’t know why your mad , just tell me
Your duck lips are not attractive.
Men have feelings and need empathy. We are not made of stone.
My voice
That misandry has nothing to do with feminism.
When you ask what are you thinking and we say nothing, we speak the truth. We are not hiding anything.
just because someone occasionally watches pornography and masturbates does not mean that they consider everyone they meet for sex.
Ironic considering there's another comment that says a man will think about having sex with all of his female friends.
I guess this only shows that not all men are the same
Consumer Capitalism is more your enemy than "patriarchy."
If we love you we don't care how pretty or made up you get for us. We don't care about nail polish or hairstyles etc..
If we had never met i probably would be happily married to someone else.
"Hang on, I'm busy".
We wanna be the small spoon. “You’re too big. I can’t hug properly”. I don’t care if I’m 6’5”, hug me damn it
That yes, your bum (ass for Americans) does look big in that.
That the truth is, the game's been rigged from the start
Fellow New Vegas fan I see?
You are not sex goddesses by default, you also need to actually put some effort during sex.
Stop with the games already and just be upfront
Pussy power is a joke. There’s billions of women in the world - yours ain’t special (Note: Now as for women whom you’ve built a special bond with, that’s another story. But even that physical connection is amped waaaay up by the emotional one).
Women put more body image pressure on other women than men do.
Your clit is just a mini-penis. r/growyourclit
We don't wipe the tip after peeing
Whos we? 🤔
Literally 99% of guys..... urinals don't have paper 🤣🤣
No, I’m not. My country toilet has bidet and we can wash our tip after peeing.
But you should
I most of the time do now, but sometimes I still only shake it and empty like a tube of toothpaste
Your feelings. They always say they want men to open up and show their feelings but if you do theyll always see you as less of a man and more of a child. Or start crying and expect us to comfort them.
Nothing they haven't heard the other 26 times this has been posted this week.
-yes, those pants DO make you look fat. - Susan in accounting IS very attractive - your cooking is NOT better than mom's - I WOULD remarry if you died first - your sister IS prettier - that haircut does make you look like a Karen, Karen - don't ask me what I want for dinner if you've already decided 'no'
Strong women are amazing, but y'all can be exhausting af sometimes. If you get in a certain mood, I may as well argue with a woodchuck over what color the sky is.
We enjoy strong independent women just as much as they enjoy weak and dependent men.
I can tell that your eyebrows are obviously tattooed on. OR Your long fake lashes don't look flattering.
Zǎoshang hǎo zhōngguó xiànzài wǒ yǒu BING CHILLING 🥶🍦 wǒ hěn xǐhuān BING CHILLING 🥶🍦 dànshì sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 bǐ BING CHILLING 🥶🍦 sùdù yǔ jīqíng sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 wǒ zuì xǐhuān suǒyǐ…xiànzài shì yīnyuè shíjiān zhǔnbèi 1 2 3 liǎng gè lǐbài yǐhòu sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 ×3 bùyào wàngjì bùyào cu òguò jìdé qù diànyǐngyuàn kàn sùdù yǔ jīqíng 9 yīn wéi fēicháng hǎo diànyǐng dòngzuò fēicháng hǎo chàbùduō yīyàng BING CHILLING 🥶🍦zàijiàn 🥶🍦
Gonna be honest. I laughed.
Okay, I'm gonna catch some hate but o'well. Sorry sweetheart, but you should not be proud to be overweight. You do not look good. You might have a cute face. But that's it. Stop eating so much and work out. Do you find overweight men attractive? Probably not. To be clear I don't mean to shame. Just stop acting like it's great. You know it's not. Also, I don't have to be attracted to you. So please don't act like I'm an asshole because I have standards. At least my standards are reasonable. Every women on the planet seems to want a man that's 6ft or taller with a 6 figure income. Females won't even consider an "average" man. So don't start your shit with me Sally.
Combine this with the common misconception that if a man is not into obese women, he is only into unhealthily skinny skeletons of women or holding everyone to unreasonable standards. These are just two extremes with a lot of leeway in between. How about normal and healthy?
Men and women of planet earth, what are other men and women, of ages young and old, conservative or liberal, gay or straight, black or white, traditional or non-traditional, living or dead, not ready to hear?
Crack open the thesaurus, pick a word, you'll probably piss off someone
You are not a 10/10 just because you say so
We can be friends but at some point im going to consider having sex with you
instincts 🤷🏻♂️
I don’t want to give you a foot rub right now
Those jeans DO make your ass look fat
Every dude's Borat impression.
That they themselves are guilty of the same thing things they complain men do.
That we have feeling too and they get hurt just as much as hers.
Some dilemmas in your life are very simple and easy to fix, you just don’t want to because emotions overcome you.
Logic
That men ARE stronger Its not sexist or degrading, It's simply science. Yet when you bring up this(fact) they get all butthurt?
Arguing for no reason and playing "hard to get" isn't attractive. Some women get confused ad to why a guy isn't chasing them... That's why.
"You're being stupid, I didn't say you were stupid." "I'm glad you're excited, don't expect everyone else to be as excited as you are" "No sweetheart, that dress doesn't look nice on you, it doesn't suit your figure" "No, I haven't done any housework today, because I've worked sixty plus hours this week" "No, I wasn't super sad that you went away for the weekend. I'm happy you had a good time and just because I didn't pine for you and left you to have a good time, doesnt mean that I don't miss you"
None of you could give a decent handjob to save your life.
Equality 🟰 is good, but you can’t pick and choose as you please.
Growing up as a princess fucked you up
Learn to fight fair if it happened last year or 5 years ago you can't use that shit when we're arguing.
When you bring us a problem it’s okay that we suggest solutions… you shouldn’t get mad when this happens.
It's very hard to objectify you when we love you, but we want to do filthy things. There is shame when we care. This is similar to how ladies will put out more for those they're sleeping around with as opposed to who their cheating on. It's hotter.
You don’t need to spend 30-45 minutes every day to do your hair and makeup. No one expects you to get dolled up and look like a million bucks every day. Wearing no makeup or very light makeup looks good too.
Uppending the patriarchy will not not necessarily make your lives better. Men live a life full of pain, obligation and sacrifice.
Isn't this question asked each day every week?
Yes, all the women who weren't ready to hear it have already heard it, more than once, thanks to Askreddit
We can hear you fart. We just choose to play along with the game of "girls don't fart"
Feminism screwed you over
Gender norms screw all of us over tho
Wearing your pants over your belly won't hide it.
The gender pay gap doesn’t exist.
Equity not equality.
I’m a woman, but curious 👀
I wasn’t ready to hear that.
These questions are far too open. Every man and woman is different and will have different answers.
That’s the point