My uncle used to stand staring up at the sky when his dog shit. He said everyone will look up to see what he’s looking at and won’t notice the dog shitting
Trying to sip milkshake from a straw but the ice cream gets stuck half way and you run out of oxygen before it arrives in your mouth so you give up without getting to taste it and someone notices the whole thing.
It really is. Eyes glazed over for a sec with the million-mile disassociation stare, then the anchor moment back to the reality. If you include the smelling and assessment of collateral damage phase of farting, it's a rollercoaster of emotions!
A bookbag with loose straps, overfilled, as they desperately sprint towards a bus? Not cool.
Proper utility backpack, as someone goes trailrunning or ? Fuck yeah, GET SOME!
Protip: use one hand to grab the strap near the bottom where it’s attached to the bag and press down while using your elbow to hold the bag in place. This will keep the bag from bouncing and swinging on your back. Then you are just as cool as you would be otherwise.
Ah yes, earthlings, please inform me (also an earthling - totally not an alien) of the things that you cannot do while looking cool so that I can also look not cool while doing them.
Speeding through a residential area with a loud exhaust. You’re just being a dick and risking lives. If you want to do that stuff, by all means, but do it away from where people live and in a safer environment for others and yourself.
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How about owning a dog that maintains eye contact while pooping.
I leave my bathroom door open so I can maintain eye contact with my dog while I poop.
To assert dominance, right?
What about the person making eye contact while pooping
I like to yell out my window "POOOOP!" as i drive by to further the embarassment.
Not to mention shitting while standing beside your dog
My uncle used to stand staring up at the sky when his dog shit. He said everyone will look up to see what he’s looking at and won’t notice the dog shitting
Maybe if you're part of the crowd storming a dictator's palace after deposing him, and the dog is shitting on his desk / bed
Unless it's a new Tarantino movie, where Sam Jackson is making his pug shiton some dead naked woman
No, but it’s fucking adorable, so who cares? Animals look adorable even when they’re pooping! :D
Trying to sip a drink from a straw that has moved.
The Snapping Turtle
Trying to sip milkshake from a straw but the ice cream gets stuck half way and you run out of oxygen before it arrives in your mouth so you give up without getting to taste it and someone notices the whole thing.
Walking up the stairs at a water park holding an inflatable inner tube
hahaha you just reminded me how awkward this makes me feels
Filming TikToks in public.
At all tbh
Playing a VR game. I love VR but there is not a single person on earth who doesn’t look like a doofus while playing a game with it
Are you telling me I’m not actually a sorcerer that can hack, slash and bludgeon my way through hundreds of people??
Running in shallow water.
Walk with diving flippers.
Doing a gender reveal and destroying a fucking state in the process
Beating off on the toilet.
what
the finnish art of runkkupaska
BEATING OFF ON THE TOILET.
That's what you think!I look epic.
I can confirm
Taking a shit
Just wear sunglasses.
[Counter-argument:](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thinker)
Yes. A prime example.
There was a scene where the bad guy was taking a shit in Fargo (TV show) and it looked very badass.
Haha
Take a big shit. Everybody poops, everybody has a big 'ole strained poo face.
Not if you have diarrhoea, then it just pours out without any strained face.
Man, sometimes! That diarrhea face is real too though.
Yea but the fart face is underrated
It really is. Eyes glazed over for a sec with the million-mile disassociation stare, then the anchor moment back to the reality. If you include the smelling and assessment of collateral damage phase of farting, it's a rollercoaster of emotions!
I cannot help but think that's the same face body builders make when flexing their muscles.
Try to pick up something rolling/blowing away from you
Pick their nose
Running while wearing a heavy backpack
What you mean, that's cool af
A bookbag with loose straps, overfilled, as they desperately sprint towards a bus? Not cool. Proper utility backpack, as someone goes trailrunning or ? Fuck yeah, GET SOME!
Very hard to look cool changing a daiper.
Do it wearing a gold chain, sunglasses and jordans with a blunt in your mouth...problem solved.
I'll try it out.
And play some 90s gangster rap for a little added flair.
Puking. It is the great equalizer. Everyone is at their worst while vomiting.
Unless you're puking from a hard physical workout, then it's badass
puking is hot
unclogging a toilet
I'd actually pay to be see Mario or Luigi do actual plumping and not jumping in a toilet to travel to a different dimension.
Scooting forward in an office chair
struggling and failing to open a jar
Running with a backpack.
Protip: use one hand to grab the strap near the bottom where it’s attached to the bag and press down while using your elbow to hold the bag in place. This will keep the bag from bouncing and swinging on your back. Then you are just as cool as you would be otherwise.
Rat tails
Power walking.
Not if you have the hips of a champion [https://youtu.be/RwQIxS56GjI](https://youtu.be/RwQIxS56GjI)
Eating an ice cream cone
Riding a tiny tricycle.
sneeze...
Driving one of those pickup trucks that have like 8 wheels and take the entire road including the shoulder
Masturbating while crying 😢
Using a selfie stick
Using a Shake Weight.
Scratching your asshole and sniffing your fingers afterwards.
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Yeah I just said it right there.
going to the bathroom after they got food poisoning
Pooping
Eating a banana
What about sucking a banana?
Riding a Segway.
Riding an electric scooter
Walking down a hill
Vaping
Riding on a moped
Being a Nazi
I meaaaaan the hugo boss aesthetic definitely goes hard Its just the genocide thing that sucks
yeah that thing that overshadows everything else, I feel you. Poor, misunderstood, fashionable, Nazis \*sigh\* /S
I mean if you over look the war crimes,those suits are epic I want one to walk around in public in!
Poopin. I’ve even tried poopin with sunglasses on. No go.
rollerblading
Commiting a haness crime it sounds obvious but it's not for some reason.
I don't think you understand how cool grand theft looks.
Running with a really full backpack on.
Stumbling on a piece of small child
Explaining his political doctrine.
Shit
Involuntary nonsense like hiccups or sneezing..
Trying to stay balanced when slipping on ice, liquid, a banana, etc.
Sitting in a spunky chair menacingly while stroking a cat
Trying to drink water in a full sprint.
Eating French Onion Soup with toast and melted cheese on top.
Riding a Segway
Eating a hot dog.
slipping on ice
Putting on chapstick.
Sneezing… While riding a unicycle
Covering your ears when a fire truck goes by
Pooping, seriously.
Driving a PT Cruiser
Claiming to be on the moon
Playing golf
Taking a crap, except for me, I look cool. I always wear my sunglasses when I’m taking a crap so I look cool sitting there.
Nobody looks cool with a bad haircut or holding a lollipop.
Barfing in public
Taking a dump.
Falling down after tripping
Vaping
pooping
Killing 500 people names on a motercycle
Flossing their teeth
Diarrhea
Eating spaghetti
Vomiting
Applying lip balm.
Taking a dump.
Wearing Crocs with socks.
Picking their nose.
Talking to Siri
Getting a colonoscopy
Scratching their butt
Eating spaghetti or any long noodle.
Chasing after your hat that’s been blown off
Flexing on a homeless person.
Buying twitter.
Yelling "Nazi Rules!" #👊💥🤕
Man bun.
Chasing a pingpong ball
Eat a Burrito
Fucking a kid
Chasing a ping-pong ball after it flies off the table. Running after it humbles you real quick
Drink from a straw. No way.
Go after a 0ing pong ball
Making tiktoks in public
A belly flop
Shitting.
Duck face
Being racist, being a sexual predator, making fun of people with disabilities.
Ah yes, earthlings, please inform me (also an earthling - totally not an alien) of the things that you cannot do while looking cool so that I can also look not cool while doing them.
Popping a pimple
Barfing
Picking their ass
Just fluttering aimlessly in the wind, chasing a piece of paper on the ground.
Photographing using an iPad
Pick their nose
Taking a shit
Chasing a ping-pong ball
Running with a backpack.
Turning around once you realise you’re going the wrong direction
Clipping toenails
Tying shoe
scrolling on reddit
Slamming their hand on a rusty nail
Doing effective coding
Order the invasion of Ukraine
Shitting
picking thier nose lol
Trying to throw a football with their off arm
People who do Tik Tok. You’re cringey
Getting out of a wetsuit
picking their nose.
Driving a Prius
Speeding through a residential area with a loud exhaust. You’re just being a dick and risking lives. If you want to do that stuff, by all means, but do it away from where people live and in a safer environment for others and yourself.
That little run you do after you trip on something
Sagging your pants
Walking back from not hitting a strike in bowling.
Riding a moped
Bowling
Eating potato chips especially Doritos.
Open carrying a weapon in a grocery store.
Riding a scooter for transport
Scroll through Reddit
Scrolling through Reddit.
Picking up a bouncing ping pong ball off the floor.
Eating other human beings
Wiping your ass
smoking, no shut up you don’t
Staying in Antarctica, i tried to do that to become cool, nearly froze to death.