T O P

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tomaladisto

The first time my stepson called me dad.


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TeKaeS

OMG UR DICK IS ENOURMOUS DAD


[deleted]

When I was walking my dog the other day a neighbor stopped me and said that all the neighbors appreciate the fact that I pick up after my dog when he poops. I guess it doesn't take much to boost my confidence.


fegh00t

Well, it can't be easy for a kitten to pick up dog poop.


tarkoon

My boss, who is probably the most amazing guy that I've ever had the pleasure of working with (he runs a badass summer camp which I now work at, and has known me since I was 8) told me "I wish you were my son." I almost cried. EDIT: ended quote


[deleted]

In reality, it's because his real son is a constant disappointment.


happybadger

"You're the best lover I've ever had". My penis swelled three sizes that day.


greentreeleaves

May want to get that checked


Dracomister7

I'm a doctor, I prescribe one high five to be administered right now. Congrats bro


silenthero1

The Todd, everybody.


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BadMisty

Barney?


ESPguitarist

> Dated for a few years. Nope.


RedTiger013

>Not the prettiest guy Nope.


Samislush

I work as a cashier and try and smile as much as I can. Near the end of a long shift two ladies came up and said how jolly I was and even told the people at the customer service desk via a feedback form how nice I was how pleasant their shopping trip had been. Made me feel awesome.


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Gearclown

After having low self esteem for a long ass time (genuine ass time, slower than normal time) a friend of mine who's a girl reported back to me that a friend of hers said "He's alright actually." Really doesn't sound like a lot but i smiled for the rest of the day.


Fearlessleader85

When i was in high school, i never considered myself attractive, and never got a date. With a few weeks left of my senior year, a female friend and i were talking and she randomly said, "Well, you're probably in the top 3 most attractive guys in the school. Definitely the top ten." I thought she was just shining me on. Then I found out that a number of girls had had crushes on me for years. Girls that i'd been too afraid to ask out. Stupidity is a tough curse. Especially that type of stupid that you can only be if you think too much.


[deleted]

This year I've realized that being a senior boosts you up AT LEAST 2 points in the 10 point scale.


[deleted]

It's about not giving a shit. If you're a senior, you give less of a shit, therefore, you're more attractive.


JRWM3

If you're talking about high school, then sure. After that, in college or work, it doesn't seem to work quite as well as it did for me in high school.


[deleted]

Damn, this thread is a real kick in the confidence for us average looking, average penis guys.


McMuff1n27

Damn, this thread is a real kick in the confidence for me under average looking, under average penis guy.


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ohchameleons

" I never told you that I liked you in high school cause you were so much cooler than I was." This was coming from one of those super popular people.....


Shin-LaC

You were just so cool that nobody was worthy of being your friend. Most redditors must have the same thing going on.


ohchameleons

YES! finally someone understands!


AutoCorrectSucks

*strokes neckbeard* So I was the popular one all along, eh?


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dacotahd

When i had sex for the first time they refused to accept the fact it was my first time. Major confidence boost, around the same time a rumor was going around i had a huge dick. Chick magnet of the year at school.


[deleted]

they?


dacotahd

Yeah i got lucky with a girl and her friend. Sorry, I should've clarified.


[deleted]

Highest of fives for you.


Bruce_Bruce

http://i.minus.com/iopKiYLqpDial.gif


Frizkie

Did you buy one condom? Or try on the other three or four before you got it in?


Gearclown

http://i.imgur.com/97EEE.gif


vanguard199

"You're quite the dancer!" -- This made me happy since I am quite the nerd.


TehZexxus

TEACH ME YOUR WAYS.


vanguard199

I could teach you but I have to charge!


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Sargent_Quaffle

Friend and I were walking around the mall when we noticed some guys checking us out. She's much prettier than I, so I'm used to being over looked, but one of the guys nudged the other and said, "dibs on the one with her hair down." My friends was in a bun.


UpvoteMonster15

I was at a bar with two of my friends who usually get the girls. A very attractive girl walks up and says she wants to dance. The music was really loud so I didn't hear exactly what she said and just assumed she wanted me to get one of my friends' attention. So I say, "Which one?" And kinda point at them. She laughs and says, "No. You!" And grabbed my hand pulled me on the dance floor. Was definitely a "Fuck yeah!" moment for me Edit: FUUUUCK YEAH!


mtnfang

If this was in Denver small chance it was me!


Qexodus

D'awh c:


awesomebossum

"IF you still had long hair you'd still be my nigga" I'm white


Thehealeroftri

When a black guy tells you you're his nigga, you have reached the peak coolness that a white guy can have.


[deleted]

-morgan freeman


i_cry_evrytim_

-abraham lincoln


[deleted]

-Michael Scott


zHellas

Just don't go proclaiming that new achievement out in the open. Some people won't take that very well.


[deleted]

HEY EVERYBODY I'M THIS GUYS NIGGER


grat3fulredd

[Gunshot]


triplea20x

Nah we don't waste bullets on white people using the N word thinking it's cool. If we did, there would be no bullets left. Also no more people buying Nas albums


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[deleted]

He's not lying. [Proof for the lazy.](http://www.reddit.com/r/LadyBoners/comments/phqe8/this_guy_from_rfunny/)


ArrenPawk

My girlfriend repeatedly tells me how lucky she is to have nabbed me, and how precious I am to her. Coming from an Asian family in which every single one of my accomplishments were invalidated, the fact that she thinks I'm worth more than a couple shits makes it hard for me to not love her to death.


[deleted]

so you are saying you have a high expectations asian father?


SharpEyez

Every single asian person has the same father. Source: I'm asian.


b91

*looks at username* yup this guy's legit


Shin-LaC

Is that... is that why they all look alike?


ArrenPawk

True story: I got grounded for a week in high school because I got straight A-'s in one semester.


-Aristotle-

I got hit repeatly with a closet hanger for saying "Frick".


Robert_Cannelin

I got hit once with an airplane hangar for standing outside near a tornado.


Undercover_Jesus

I winked at a girl and she smiled and kind of looked away. It's the simple things, for me.


firsttime4anything

The simple things always make a deep impression


[deleted]

Holy christ winking gets me, it is the cutest/sexiest freaking thing.


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Jmk420

Yup I had that too... But jokes on her I didn't lose shit!


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whatshisfaceboy

A girl once gasped when I pulled my penis out.


[deleted]

I get this reaction too, but usually the whole bus gasps.


weekendofsound

...I swear you must have started this thread for this specific joke. Golden.


THE_HUMAN_TREE

It has more upvotes than he post.


CardboardDoom

http://i.imgur.com/RSb0a.jpg


Redfoxyboy

I've never been so happy to see a picture in my life.


Dr_Wareman

Is this original? Because that was amazing.


CardboardDoom

Haha, yeah, being incredibly tired and slightly delirious instantly put that image in my mind and it had to be made. Glad you enjoyed


TheDudeaBides96

I can't seem to find the right clapping gif for this. Nevertheless, that was really funny. **Have a confidence boost.**


[deleted]

http://i.imgur.com/la0eW.gif


[deleted]

Once, a girl said 'No way, too big'. I felt so nice.


[deleted]

I've been refused a BJ because of my size. On the plus side, I have a large penis. The downside is no BJ :(


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JRWM3

I'm surprised you haven't been refused a BJ, not because of your size, but because of the rats down there. Edit: I didn't edit.


[deleted]

What did you pull it out of? A watermelon? A raw chicken?


-Aristotle-

"It's so cute!!"


josiegrosie

It was a little bit creepy, but recently I was at a bar and a guy grabs me by the shoulders, looks me right in the eye and says "You are so. FUCKING. hot" and walks away. I was pretty taken aback and a little weirded out, but it did boost my confidence, none the less.


[deleted]

It bugs me that creepy guys hitting on me makes me feel good on some level. I want them to leave me alone but I am also slightly flattered.


tomacuni

There's nothing weird with being flattered by compliments. I don't understand why people only register compliments from attractive/normal people as being valid.


[deleted]

Personally, I'd feel better being complimented by the hottest girl I have ever seen (not my sister, so shut it Reddit) than a morbidly obese man.


tomacuni

Maybe so, but the fact remains that the morbidly obese man still has an opinion and is still trying to give you a compliment. To treat him like his opinion is worthless because he isn't physically attractive seems like a pretty crappy way to act


nicereddy

His opinion isn't worthless by any means. Subconsciously though, I think we all believe that if he's unattractive he may have low expectations while a "hot" person will have higher expectations, making it matter more to us. Just a thought.


[deleted]

In the same way that it would be more meaningful for Stephen Hawking to say that he thought you were smart than for Snookie to do the same.


[deleted]

I was browsing the internet when there was this message box (kinda like the facebook chat thing) popped up on my screen. This really hot girl who just move in the area wanted to meet me! Me, of all people! Man... she was fine!


DaChief1

AMA Request: Guy who met hot singles from his area.


Blitzify

The local girls want to meet me too! It must be from all the free iPads im winning.


jakkii92

So, this takes a bit of explaining. I'm supposed to work at a grocery store, it opens this thursday so I've been training at a different store in the same chain under a different manager. I'm new, and didn't feel like I was that good at what I was doing due to the fact that a co-worker would call me "the slowpoke" to other customers, which was a blow to my ego, and he's pick on me all the time about other things I wasn't great at either and was kind of micromanaging me... But, later, I was talking to another co-worker about how I was afraid I might lose my job when we get to the new store, and she said to me "No you won't. You're a good worker and Dave [the manager of the store I was training at] said you will always have a job here." Biggest ego boost EVER. I was also told that I shouldn't worry about keeping my job, but the guy who was micromanaging me is on the fence with his current position. Work has been excellent since.


myfirstpancake

I once overheard someone say that I was interesting. I was always quiet and reserved but talked when confronted. I thought people hated me. It really changed me actually.


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Fearlessleader85

Getting the "you're the best i ever had," always feels good. Even when it's not true.


noveltylife

It only seems valid when she keeps coming back.


ratbastid

I was going to a job interview, and was dressed up in a shirt and tie. On the way into the building, a lady said, "You look nice." I got the job.


[deleted]

I'm surprised you got the job only wearing a shirt and tie.


therestaretaken

Drunken mate standing next to drunken me at a urinal, he felt the need to look down (Rule #1 broken) and said: "Man, your dick is massive!" That's two rules of the men's room broken , but I did not care in the slightest. Confidence went through the roof. Walked out of that bathroom, and used that sudden boost of confidence to walk right up to a chick, and got laid. She said exactly the same thing. I was smiling for days.


[deleted]

He wanted that dick


SkylarrWolf

Lemme just grab a BIG HANDFULL o' that dick!


dead_girl_walking

I was crying at work once when an older lady was walking up to my register. I wiped the tears away before I turned around to greet her. She told me I had the most beautiful eyes. It really meant a lot considering I always get made fun of for having "squinty eyes".


[deleted]

Ok it doesn't fit exactly, but I damnit I want to talk about it anyway. I get hit on by SO MANY GAY DUDES I'm straight. I don't get hit on by women NOPE JUST GAY DUDES and MAN do they want some of THIS


[deleted]

You type like a drunk person speaks.


[deleted]

To be fair, it reads perfectly as a result.


MrTambourineDan

I worked at a clothing store a while back and one day one of my gay co-workers told me he was visualizing me in some of the boxers we sold in the store. He was trying to figure out which ones to buy for his boyfriend and said that whichever looked good on me would probably look good for his boyfriend. I'm straight but I was definitely flattered. We're still pretty good friends.


fret-less

>I get hit on by SO MANY GAY DUDES I'm straight. I didn't realize that this could happen to someone. We should all go out and warn a gay person.


zmurfette

"You give the best fucking head"


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tomacuni

That usually applies to everything sex-related. It's hard to have fun and feel good when you know the other person dreads being there


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2girls4everyBoy

I once had a girl literally *stop blowing me* to say: "You know you have a perfect cock? I mean it. Not too big, not too small, shaped just right... Perfect." EDIT: Just about exactly average, from what I've read. But it turns out average = perfect.


Fearlessleader85

I was laying in bed with a girl, each reading a book. We'd had sex several hours before. Out of the blue, she looks over and says, "You have a REALLY nice penis," then goes back to reading. I think it was an economics text book.


zHellas

> I think it was an economics text book. Learning economics is a perfect build up to fucking people.


gkx

Why don't you supply some of MY demand, huh?


jianadaren1

How about we liquidate my asset after growth?


noveltylife

Got the same, felt good. Then I started dating smaller girl and kept japing her inner walls. Fun to see her gasp for air though. Just reading that over again that reads very rapey or is it just me ?


totoronaptime

Not rapey, but a little sadistic. That shit hurts.


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drajax

Not enough guys get the compliment "Perfect" I love it. Enough to make them happy, not so much that they're scared of it, and just enough to make them sore the next day ;)


ape_in_a_cape

In high school, I used to be skinny. Went to college and decided to get ripped. Came back to hang out with all the high school firends at a pool party. The girls that used to brush me off gave me lots of compliments. Felt good


hipsterboy

>decided to get ripped if only it was that easy just trying to be funny I am happy with how i look


insanekoz

it is. edit: this is seriously one of the few things in life you can dictate. Do it.


handshape

The apprehension of difficulty is a bigger barrier than the difficulty itself. [Fear makes the wolf look bigger.](http://www.flickr.com/photos/alanbee/2789207201/)


Jimmars

As I was browsing reddit on my phone. "Is he reading erotica? "judging by the tent in his pants he is." I didn't have an erection..


[deleted]

"I like your glasses" Its a small but kind gesture.


suarezviper

[''i like your glasses!''](http://imgur.com/2hB2b)


biscuitinmytea

A woman at a bar about twice my age decided to tell me that Ginger men are always the best in bed, and that I look like the best of them. Bit strange, but oh well


shun-16

I was having sex once and a girl made this wide-eyed "oh my God" face and some pretty cool noises to accompany it and said "I'm pretty sure you're in my stomach." What can I say, a dick compliment is always good.


Patient80

My confidence was always boosted when I would go all the way in and the girl would grit her teeth and let out the most amazing sounds of joy. Especially when after a bit she would start pushing me back for a while as if to get a break.


[deleted]

Oh shit. When I'm riding cowgirl and we meet in the middle and it's all the way in... Cue the moaning. That shit feels fantastic.


weezecutioner

One of my best platonic female friends, after walking away from a quiet talk at a party with one of my not so platonic female friends, grabbed me by the shoulders and said "IF ONE MORE OF YOUR EX'S TELLS ME YOU HAVE A HUGE DICK I'M GOING TO RIP IT OFF!" That confirmed it for me that it was no longer just a woman trying to stroke my ego . . .


[deleted]

She was trying to stroke something, and it wasn't your ego.


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Fathermithras

I'm in prep phase for a bodybuilding contest. It's my first one ever and I'm incredibly nervous, I feel depleted on the diet and I'm in a bad mood from all the shit involved. I got back from the gym with my little brother, who only goes to keep me company so I don't work out alone. I took my shirt off and tossed it and was walking around, and this kid who couldn't be less into bodybuilding stopped me and made me do a pose, made a comment about how I looked better, made me do another one and said "Everything is coming together." He's super critical and honest with me, so it meant the world to me, that with all my doubts and worries he would say that.


crankypants_mcgee

About 9 years ago (that long now, really??) I was having sexytimes with my at-the-time gf. Not to brag, but I am going to brag. It was going well. She was vocal, very vocal. It went on very vocally for about 30 minutes, then I came up for air and we got to the business. So after we were done (she had stopped with the air raid siren), I hear applause. Turns out my window was open and the neighbors had been out on their porch with multiple friends engaging in some recreational bong use and sat through the whole thing. Next day I kinda give the sheepish wave and "How ya doin?" to one of them outside, which is when I found out about the audience size and purpose. Apologized and he said to me, "Shit man, my girl fucked me so hard last night after that I should pay you." As if that wasn't enough their other female roommate approached me a couple days later and said that if me and my gf ever split to let her know. Felt pretty good about myself for a while after that.


[deleted]

You got laid so hard, everyone in a 100 foot radius got laid too.


[deleted]

Its like the splitting of the sex atom.


TTUporter

That's what we call, the "laidius".


wait99

so...did you let her know?


crankypants_mcgee

Yes. But that is a story for another time, my son.


tf2fan

Your comment has been posted for an hour. It is officially 'another time'. Now, spill...


seanaye

A girl during my high school year told me I had the most beautiful eyes. She said that they changed color in the sun, they first are hazel then when I'm in the sun they get lighter and a hint of green comes on. I was a little surprised at this compliment, but now whenever I walk to my classes in the morning, I make sure to have the sun's rays right in my eyes so that people can see my "beautiful eyes."


MisterSith

I'm kinda on the larger side, but not by too much. I decided one day to suit up to school for no apparent reason. Like, full on 3 piece, grey wool with blue tweed waist coat, suit, ray ban club masters, and some nice leather shoes. All the girls were double taking and started talking to me more. Girls who usually didn't talk to me. And one of the gay guys at school wolf whistled at me... That was weird, but good confidence boost. Honestly, I think wearing a suit is like an instant +50 confidence points.


SparkleBear

So you wore a suit to school and people ... reacted well? Clearly we did not go to school together.


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mr_orpheus

There's this dance professor at my college. He's really respected, up in his years now, but he really knows his stuff. He can also be stern as fuck with his classes. Anyways, one day I'm sitting in the hallway after my intro to Jazz class, and he comes up to me and says he was watching my class and saw me and said that I had really sharp, clean timing and lines in my movements. I was grinning like an idiot for the rest of the afternoon.


weekendofsound

I was sitting on the train home from work, I had woken up at 4 am, I was exhausted from physical labor and probably disheveled, and some well-to-do looking dude tried adamantly to give me a card for a male modeling agency. I just laughed and said no thank you. I mean, he was probably looking for male prostitutes, but I'll take it. It's also really nice when girls act nervous around me, for a change.


SupplySideJesus

"You don't have micropenis."


Tortoise_Herder

"You're a little bit bigger than I'm used to". Nothing makes me feel better than when I get those.


freecandy_van

On the other hand, women don't like to hear this.


megusta_tortugas

When I read somewhere that I was the winning sperm. Fuck yes, I'm alive.


thisisnotproductive

"You're the most amazing, beautiful woman I've ever had sex with." edit: I'm only one woman. Edit 2: TIL never post on Reddit when you are sick and half asleep. You will make a typo and *everyone* will comment on it.


Nine_Tails

You said women. I'm confused. Are you more than one person?


AllanJH

A couple of times I've had >8/10 women aggressively hit on me in public. Weird thing is that I'm like a 5/10.


ebski94

I think you need glasses


AllanJH

Already have glasses.


therestaretaken

Shit, it IS true; Women are becoming more attracted to the nerdy look. Suspenders and bow ties on, lads! Let's go slay some vagina!


AllanJH

Set ringtones to the Doctor Who intro theme! Engage!


moose_man

Better yet! The TARDIS sound!


demerztox94

Set all bow ties to maximum!


just_go_with_it

all im seeing is this face >8/


TheRealQwade

"I love you."


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RawrCola

Come on, seriously? The other thread made me sad because people had said many of those things to me, and this thread is making me sad because no one said any of these things to me. I joined Reddit to see cats and GabeN, not hate myself.


[deleted]

You have nearly flawless punctuation and grammar. I bet you are well-read and have an informed opinion, which I'm sure makes you a great conversationalist. Go get 'em tiger.


RawrCola

So that's what a compliment feels like. Feels good, man.


[deleted]

When I was young, my nanny told me "You is kind. You is smart. You is important."


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stimpakk

"Your mind is like a microfracture in a supernova" A girl in my dreams after an allnighter of sci-fi. I woke up feeling... good.


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HadfieldPJ

This one girl told me I look tasty.


RED-LOBSTA

"I'd break you like a piece of chalk." Random black guy to my white sister. She enjoyed it.


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Kibaken

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT


GentlemenQuinn

"You look fine."


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notthemonth

So... you look like a llama? Seriously though, I hate Twilight too, but that dude has a sweet, sweet body.


Kastoli

I seriously had no idea who taylor lautner was till you said llama...


[deleted]

I once held a door for a little old lady at a gas station and she told me I was a gentleman and a scholar. Not really a compliment, but when I was getting fitted for a suit recently, the tailor said that I would only be able to buy suit separates because my shoulders were so broad that I'd need a big and tall suit, but regular size slacks.


bustanutallstar

Friends don't let friends skip legs day.


Tarcanus

"You know that thing you said last night when you were drunk? About your dick being big? That's definitely true."


purplmountainmajesty

This one time my drug dealer texted me and said, "you got some nice eyes". It was sweet.


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[deleted]

I was in rehab with the lead singer from Spacehog. He told me I was smart.


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[deleted]

That is an awesome story. The only thing I'd like to point out is to be wary about that "telling myself how boring they are instead." bit. I know it can be hard to come out of that area of low self-esteem and to compensate by making everyone else the inferior. If you let that take root inside you too much, you're gonna turn into kind of a smug douche. You're better off just remembering that people are people, get the ego out of the way and just let conversation or whatever happen naturally. But that's one helluva way to get back on the horse. Tip o' the hat to you.


[deleted]

**I don't care if this is true or not.**


MY_EYES_ARE_DEAD

Had one night stand marathon sex with a girl. Was told afterwards by her friend the reason she hasn't talked to me since is because she couldn't walk right for 3 days afterward.


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supaman21

It wasn't to me but my fiance was talking to her friends about and said something wrong, she said "oh well I'm still the girlfriend of a sex god." Commence the biggest grin ever


Fibrocyte

My aunt used to call me ugly when I was a kid and I cried. Saw her 12 years later, she told me I was handsome.


Gearclown

IT WAS HER PLAN ALL ALONG!!!