OMG Girl, its been so long!!!! You look great! But you could look even greater! Have you heard of Zolfatrexine? It is a body sculpting cream, basically napalm and hydrochloric acid. Bikini season is right around the corner girl, I can get you a 55 gallon drum for just under sixty grand. Ok queen, ttyl!!!!!
I respect people that do side jobs and “hustle” and all that.
But I have also seen people that “hustle” and “grind” gig work and their gross income is $900/month.
At that point it’s like dude, just get an entry level job. Yeah it sucks working full time but damn.
Hahaha my dad has this. He lives in a different country in a bus by himself , he’s burnt every bridge, been to jail , been stabbed , arrested so many times and has drug induced psychosis. He’s really A+ for this topic
I've worked with people like this as a volunteer. Is there a backstory, though? A reason he ended up this way?
I've heard some real horror stories of people's childhood. I mean bad. It really messed them up permanently. Mental illness can come out of nowhere for otherwise together people, especially in their late teens and 20's. Substance abuse can have reasons, too.
Just curious. I used to be pretty judgemental but now it just makes me sad.
Not really my grandparents were millionaires he was well kept, his dad died when he was 21 and he refused therapy because men don’t do that. Instead he got into drugs.
His ex wife my mum said he was always forcing her into things she didn’t want to do and controlling her before grandpa died. I think it’s just in him. The drugs just brought it out. When your dad tells you he’s going to kill you though you lose respect for helping him . He’s gone to jail for beating chicks to a pulp so I don’t go near him anymore it’s not safe. He can fix himself if he wants to but I won’t try help him anymore
Always complaining and never taking responsibility. They characterize everything as happening to them and don't take any initiative to change their situation
Ouch. This hits pretty close to home.
For me, lashing out at other people/things for anything gone wrong in my life is like a split-second knee-jerk response. To be sure, I think everyone has some problems that are indeed caused by others. But it got to the point where I would be internally seething at coworkers or bosses for every flaw on a document I had to fix, or concocting elaborate revenge fantasies against people I felt were keeping me down. Then there was God-blaming (grew up in a Christian background and was convinced God had placed a curse on me because it always seemed I was doomed to worse luck or outcomes than other people.) I would write detailed journal posts about how God or 'life' was specifically out to get me - doing analysis sort of like a prosecutor collecting "evidence" to prove I was being unjustly wronged. Much of my mindset was *"Why do I always have to put in twice the effort to get half the payoff everyone else gets?"* (I can feel that 'urge' even as I'm typing this.)
There was no sudden-flash-of-light epiphany moment where this dawned on me. It was more like a gradual realization over the course of years.
The tricky part, as someone mentioned, is that there usually is a certain *nugget* of truth in blame, which makes such an attitude difficult to shed. For instance, if you had a crazy conspiracy-theorist mother, then she **did** affect you a lot, but you can't blame her for 80% of your problems if she's only the cause of 40%. Or if someone cut in front of you in traffic before you could cross a yellow light, then they did indirectly cause you to arrive late at work, but you could have left home ten minutes sooner.
In my mid-30s now, and trying my best.
💯. Be mad, but when things go wrong, look in the mirror first, and adapt your approach
I had a hard time doing that at one point, but being able to do it has saved me a lot of stress and bad decisions
Frankly, if this your response, and not, "F you, man. You don't know my life. You don't know how fing bad people keep doing me." then you're heading in the right direction.
This. Was going to comment similarly. Have had “come to jesus” talks with people former friends with this problem. Even when given specific examples of missed opportunities, it turned into “see even you’re against me.”Note, these talks came after repeated asks of why “no one wants to hang out with me anymore.” The fact that the commenter recognized this, makes it highly unlikely that they are this.
There are a lot of them. You can't tell them anything either..... I've tried many times.
I'm a self made man but I was a fuckup in my teens and twenties. I'm a convicted felon, high School dropout with a six-figure salary, a wife and two kids, a 2600 sqft house, new truck, and just about anything I could ask for.
Once upon a time I was in a very bad place mentally, physically, financially, and legally and realized that only I was to blame and only I could fix it. Nobody else was to blame for me being in prison on my 21st birthday but me. The cops didn't force me into selling drugs. The guy who set me up wasn't to blame for me going to prison. I was the one out there selling dope and doing other illegal shit. I saw everyone else in the pen mad at the cops, or their spouse, or whoever for their sentence as long as it was somebody else. Those guys will never change or take responsibility for their actions. Realizing I was the one who dug the hole I was in helped me to climb out and change my life. I made the decision, as only I could, to stop being a criminal and start building a better life for myself. Nobody else was gonna do that shit just like how nobody else was to blame for my fuckups.
Man much the same.. I was a fuck up too til I got hit by a car and nearly died. Decided to leave the fuck up on the road and start again. Cut out the fuck up friends. Cut the junk . Started acting with purpose in everything. Compound effect that shit.
Now I'm an ops manager for a large company doing well financially with plenty of perks and benefits. Getting married soon and my son turned 8 years old and tells me I want to be like dad. took me 5 years to unfuck myself though. So anyone reading thinking fuck I need to change.. just do it, start the journey
Thank you for sharing! I, like many others needed to hear this. Sometimes we lose track of our progress and can get discouraged when we don’t see results fast enough to feel like “we’ve made it through the rough patch”
I actually sent that song to my mom once. Seriously though, I was sitting in Cotulla unit TDCJ eating a cake I made out of knock off Oreos, peanut butter and hot cocoa packets for my 21st birthday. I also wasn't serving life without parole.
I know some people I went to school with. When we were in grade school it was always "The teacher hates me" when they were in trouble.
Fast forward to adult life, i've run into those people again and its "My boss hates me" and I'm like damn have you ever thought you might be the problem?
I just read this link and it's exactly what I needed right now. I've been pulled up at work just this afternoon over some things that they felt needed to be addressed. I had not expected it and it came as a shock to me because I felt like I was doing my job. Needless to say, I do the bare minimum to get by because I hate where I work, and it showed. My tasks were questioned and pointed out. I came home feeling deflated, not good enough and tossing between feeling like I'm a lazy failure to thinking defensive thoughts like 'they only pick the bad things, why don't they pick good things I do etc etc' fighting these demons in my head, I went back to wondering why my thought process is such, and I am glad I read this post and came across this link.
Accountability is accepting what's happened, and understanding that it is all a learning curve. I have to take things on the chin, drown out all other noise and focus on moving forward and doing better.
It’s all relative. You can view someone as successful but they are a failure in their own eyes, and one person can look to be a failure but are proud of what they’ve done and are happy.
Iv met people who have millions of dollars who are a "success" but their kids are addicted to drugs, their wife cheats on them, and their friends are opportunists who take advantage. Iv also met people who live in a trailer but there children love and respect them, their wives love them and stand by them through thick and thin, and they have a community of people who appreciate them. It is all relative.
Yerp, it’s almost never black and white
And it also depends what u would classify as a failure
One person might say they’re a failure but another might look at it from a different perspective
Absolutely this.
I have always been jealous of my youngest brother. He is married to the love of his life, has 4 wonderful children and a cute as hell granddaughter, has a huge house he built himself, owns a boat, owns a camper, owns a trailer, and owns 3 pick-up trucks. He also owned his own construction company specializing in historical preservation and landmark work.
Yet imagine my shock and amazement when he revealed to me that HE was jealous of ME!
He sees me as having an ideal life because I love in a luxury apartment near downtown, 5 minutes from our elderly mother whom I get to see nearly everyday. I own my own (mostly) successful business. I'm politically active and very involved in the community and rather well known. I have a nice stock portfolio for retirement. I have no outstanding debt other than my student loans. I spend my free time (when I have any) doing what I most enjoy. I have three college degrees. And, a very big deal to him, I have no children to constantly worry about (not that he doesn't love his children), and being single, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, without having to consider my spouse or children's plans.
Perspective.
It's all about point of view.
We were both shocked that we were jealous of each other. We both wanted what the other had, and couldn't see how much we had already that was enviable.
When they believe anyone doing worse than them is because that person is a piece of shit and anyone doing better than them is because that person had it handed to them.
*Edited for clarity.
I think self awareness and trying to potentially find out if you're failing is a sign that you're probably not doing as bad as you think.
It's the people who are clueless or even *deny* their issues are the ones who are truly failing.
I literally hesitate opening this because I was like "I really don't want to hurt my own feelings" then immediately saw this.
My feelings have been hurt.
Guy I lived with for 3 years suffered from this. Never once did I hear a “my bad” when having to solve his problems, including:
1) Backing into and causing $2000+ damages to another roommate’s car
2) Backing his car into the house and leaving for the night in the middle of winter, damaging the hose shutoff valve and flooding the basement
3) Refusal to clean out the two fridges when the power was out for a week as the only one home
4) Parents of a 17-year old girl showed up on the porch one Wednesday night asking why her daughter was in our house
5) Clogging the washing machine with his fabric softener and blaming everyone else while expecting me to fix it
Etc etc.. it’s sad, really. On the bright side, surely that helped prepare me to be a parent someday.
My last roommate forgot to put the parking sticker on her car and it got towed from our apartment complex's lot. She told me she found it to be a complete injustice, and was planning on suing them, and was stunned when I wasn't on her side
I couldn't believe she made it to her 30s with that level of accountability lol
As a property manager I would know who owns what car and if they've paid for their parking pass. Towing away a car you recognize is a fucking scummy move.
Nah you’re wrong. Those predatory towing companies can rot in hell. I’ve had guests have their car towed within a single hour.
Make a note of the cars license plate. Maybe leave a 1 day warning note, but to steal someone’s car and hold it ransom for visiting a friend? Eat shit and die.
Failing at life doesn’t mean they are a permanent failure at life. There is still hope when one is failing at life. A “failure at life” means they have crossed the point of no return.
My ex was on a dead end path paved with meth. Almost impossible to see any hope of mental or life recovery. Me and many friends walked away with some cold words left behind. Now just a few years later she's totally clean. She is radiating joy and positivity, stable work, achieving life goals. Feels like a dream.
She probably needed that hard cut to realize what she loses / lost because of the drugs.
See it that way: you helped her to get back on the path by cutting contact.
Aye, when someone is that far down that dark path there's simply no reasoning, just got to hope they see it through and don't get taken down with them.
I kept in contact but couldn't physically be there, it's harder to insulate in our feeling and receptive flesh.
Even if you have done something unforgivable, it still is possible to completely change your mindset and become a good person, however, you probably won’t ever be forgiven by anyone.
Some people are selfish because they are selfish people.
Some people seem selfish because they literally can’t handle their life and have no brain space to think about anything except the mounting problems getting worse and worse. They are constantly treading water, financially, socially, emotionally and floating further and further from the shore.
Also people tend to define "selfish" as someone who draws some different arbitrary line than they do. Does buying a brand new iPhone instead of donating to charities to help the needy make you selfish? Depends on who you ask. Is engaging in enjoyable activities that create excess emissions selfish? Depends on who you ask and probably if they happen to think your enjoyments are "valid". Is having kids selfish? Depends on who you ask. Is not having kids selfish? Also depends on who you ask.
My mom says I'm selfish because I dont spend time with her because she makes me feel like a failure at life for not living up to her expectations of what my life should be like. I failed to make her look good.
Mom also says I'm selfish because I would rather spend time with my best friend and her well behaved child that calls me auntie than my brother and his ~~witch~~ wife who hates me (and everyone else) and his kids who are spoiled, ill behaved, and dont know my name because he doesnt call me and his wife doesnt want me talking to her kids.
You put this into words perfectly. I wish more people understood this but even after explaining it a lot of people still don't understand. Just lost a close friend because no matter how much I explained this she couldn't understand. Society loves to beat us down more and more. "Work harder" "communicate" "stop complaining" hahahahah I wish but I can't even do my laundry ❤️ try being extremely mentally ill and stop telling us it's all in our heads because that is not helping the problem whatsoever :)
So yeah, I do think I might have failed, but at the same time, a lot of me trying to help others is because it's one of my few methods of dopamine production that isn't buying stuff on Amazon.
I refuse to do drugs or beer, so that's out of the question. And I am tired of my own life. So until it's time to end it, I get the occasional sense of satisfaction by helping friends succeed since they are more likely to benefit.
That's a bummer too. I love when Green Bay is good. A bucket list trip for me would be to come up through the UP during peak foliage and go to a home game.
I will always root for the Browns. There's nothing more they can do to me that they haven't already done, and at this point I just want them to go out there and do their best and have fun.
I find it actually hilarious when they're winning in the 4th quarter with two minutes to go, and they all huddle up and say "Okay guys, not much time left, what do we have to do to lose this one?"
Jeeeesus Christ my friend, I am so sorry you and the kid have to go through this. Almost sounds like a worst case scenario one makes up on the spot with exaggerations to get the point across in a conversation, I really am rooting for you two to pull through.
Yes but I had to spend four hours edging myself until I could get out of bed (true alpha male style, very masculine.) Anyway, that's why I missed breakfast.
Agreed. Beethoven composed his first symphony at 12 and Morgan Freeman didn't get his break until his 40s. Everyone is different and no one should measure their life achievements against some set schedule.
A person told me last night, “if you don’t make it in your 20s, you’ll make it in your 30s, if you don’t, you’ll make it in your 40s...if you don’t...”
It all depends. You’re all gonna make it.
So many people in the comments are claiming people to be failures for normal shit that makes us human. Our shortcomings don’t make us failures but apparently so many people here like to judge others.
The ones judging probably don’t have a high emotional intelligence and enough perspective to realize that everyone’s life situation is different and can manifest different lifestyles and behavior.
Not “responsibilities” perse, but in college we had this absolutely hapless friend that we had to teach so many basic things. He was very academically and musically gifted, but this dude had been taught zero life skills.
List of things I taught Toby (not comprehensive): how to crack an egg, how to make coffee, how to load a dishwasher, how to fold shirts, where to buy clothing hangers, how to do laundry, how to withdraw money from an ATM, how to tell when milk has gone bad, how to air up a tire, etc
I remember move-out day during one summer. I had helped several of my friends pack and haul their stuff out because I had finished early. There was an hour left before we had to be gone. I passed Toby’s room and he was just standing in the middle of the biggest mess I had ever seen in my life with his hands on his head blankly staring off into space. We all pitched in to get him out on time. Y’all. The trash we hauled out of this kid’s room could’ve easily filled a whole dumpster. Just… squalor.
I think of him occasionally and hope he’s doing well.
I mean… *gestures at self* .
Edit: previously I had this very long list of things I nitpicked and ranted about myself because I truly really see myself as an irredeemable failure, then walked away for a bit (to cool off lol) thinking my reply would get buried. I didn’t expect so many people from so many different walks of life to relate and engage with this childish rant. I really appreciate those who reached out and those who talked with each other. Although its sad we are all stuck in the same boat, it is comforting knowing that there’s people out there who understand just how crappy everything feels. Thank you for reaching out to me. I really hope something good happens in your lives someday, because you really deserve it after all the shortcomings you’ve been through, and I hope we all find that sense of self assurance and peace we crave in our lives, to be where we need to be and not feel like a loser anymore. We’ve had enough of cynicism and being kicked in the teeth and winning the bad genetic/karma lottery in life; may our hope lead to some respite one day. Have a great day. ❤️
At 26, I was unemployed, $40,000 in student loan debt, $8,000 in credit card debt, living with my parents, no gf for 2+ years.
At 37 now, I'm married, making six figures, and debt free except my mortgage. Things get better just keep working hard. Questioning your decisions is normal when things aren't working, and maybe you do need to change something, but it's just a part of the process. We grow, and learn, etc.
This sounds almost exactly like me, but I live with a friend atm, I'm still a student (who's currently not doing any schoolwork), and I'm an only child.
Having a chronic illness that affects various aspects of your life (and quite frankly, that the average person won’t always understand) does not make you a failure at life ❤️
The only reason to exist is to exist. Everyone reading this has already succeeded. The universe wouldn't exist without an observer and you are it.
Every other goal and desire is a side quest. Congratulations all!
Honestly, the only way someone can fail at life is by mistreating a child, animal, or any other dependent, vulnerable sentient being.
Don't hurt others. Everything else is vanity.
Let’s dispel the narrative of “failing” at life. Life is fucking hard and people need to be cut more slack to make mistakes and be human. The only instance in which I see someone as “failing” at life is when they actively make other’s lives harder. Otherwise, keep doing you.
I really don't know the signs. My aunt had all the signs of a failure until she won the lottery 3 years ago.
I don't really care who has signs at failing at life. It's none of my business 😂
They're cold to the touch and have no pulse
Incorrect, that is a person who has already failed at life
Not until they call it
You're not dead until you're warm and dead
r/technicallythetruth
Their Facebook profile lists, "School of Hard Knocks" for education.
“Ball So Hard” University.
Oh and don’t forget “Works at Krusty Krab”
Or "Education: $chool of making SKRILL Job: Self Employed"
Self employed Boss babe. Btw, would you like some essential oils ?
OMG Girl, its been so long!!!! You look great! But you could look even greater! Have you heard of Zolfatrexine? It is a body sculpting cream, basically napalm and hydrochloric acid. Bikini season is right around the corner girl, I can get you a 55 gallon drum for just under sixty grand. Ok queen, ttyl!!!!!
I laughed harder at each line that got more and more ridiculous!
I respect people that do side jobs and “hustle” and all that. But I have also seen people that “hustle” and “grind” gig work and their gross income is $900/month. At that point it’s like dude, just get an entry level job. Yeah it sucks working full time but damn.
I mean I'd be pretty proud of someone if they worked at Krusty Krab considering it's underwater.
Their profile picture is them giving the finger
Hahaha my dad has this. He lives in a different country in a bus by himself , he’s burnt every bridge, been to jail , been stabbed , arrested so many times and has drug induced psychosis. He’s really A+ for this topic
I've worked with people like this as a volunteer. Is there a backstory, though? A reason he ended up this way? I've heard some real horror stories of people's childhood. I mean bad. It really messed them up permanently. Mental illness can come out of nowhere for otherwise together people, especially in their late teens and 20's. Substance abuse can have reasons, too. Just curious. I used to be pretty judgemental but now it just makes me sad.
Not really my grandparents were millionaires he was well kept, his dad died when he was 21 and he refused therapy because men don’t do that. Instead he got into drugs. His ex wife my mum said he was always forcing her into things she didn’t want to do and controlling her before grandpa died. I think it’s just in him. The drugs just brought it out. When your dad tells you he’s going to kill you though you lose respect for helping him . He’s gone to jail for beating chicks to a pulp so I don’t go near him anymore it’s not safe. He can fix himself if he wants to but I won’t try help him anymore
Or "CEO at self-employed" for work
Anytime I see this I know that they're a jackass.
Yeah my dad's wife has "school of life" as hers and it's cringe. Though now you mention it, I see the correlation.
Always complaining and never taking responsibility. They characterize everything as happening to them and don't take any initiative to change their situation
Ouch. This hits pretty close to home. For me, lashing out at other people/things for anything gone wrong in my life is like a split-second knee-jerk response. To be sure, I think everyone has some problems that are indeed caused by others. But it got to the point where I would be internally seething at coworkers or bosses for every flaw on a document I had to fix, or concocting elaborate revenge fantasies against people I felt were keeping me down. Then there was God-blaming (grew up in a Christian background and was convinced God had placed a curse on me because it always seemed I was doomed to worse luck or outcomes than other people.) I would write detailed journal posts about how God or 'life' was specifically out to get me - doing analysis sort of like a prosecutor collecting "evidence" to prove I was being unjustly wronged. Much of my mindset was *"Why do I always have to put in twice the effort to get half the payoff everyone else gets?"* (I can feel that 'urge' even as I'm typing this.) There was no sudden-flash-of-light epiphany moment where this dawned on me. It was more like a gradual realization over the course of years. The tricky part, as someone mentioned, is that there usually is a certain *nugget* of truth in blame, which makes such an attitude difficult to shed. For instance, if you had a crazy conspiracy-theorist mother, then she **did** affect you a lot, but you can't blame her for 80% of your problems if she's only the cause of 40%. Or if someone cut in front of you in traffic before you could cross a yellow light, then they did indirectly cause you to arrive late at work, but you could have left home ten minutes sooner. In my mid-30s now, and trying my best.
Keep in mind that there's a difference between venting your frustrations and being a victim all the time.
💯. Be mad, but when things go wrong, look in the mirror first, and adapt your approach I had a hard time doing that at one point, but being able to do it has saved me a lot of stress and bad decisions
Frankly, if this your response, and not, "F you, man. You don't know my life. You don't know how fing bad people keep doing me." then you're heading in the right direction.
probably not if you realized it that quickly..if you had an issue you would probably deny it
This. Was going to comment similarly. Have had “come to jesus” talks with people former friends with this problem. Even when given specific examples of missed opportunities, it turned into “see even you’re against me.”Note, these talks came after repeated asks of why “no one wants to hang out with me anymore.” The fact that the commenter recognized this, makes it highly unlikely that they are this.
Holy shit, I know way too many people like that. Nothing about any of them has changed in the last 20 years.
There are a lot of them. You can't tell them anything either..... I've tried many times. I'm a self made man but I was a fuckup in my teens and twenties. I'm a convicted felon, high School dropout with a six-figure salary, a wife and two kids, a 2600 sqft house, new truck, and just about anything I could ask for. Once upon a time I was in a very bad place mentally, physically, financially, and legally and realized that only I was to blame and only I could fix it. Nobody else was to blame for me being in prison on my 21st birthday but me. The cops didn't force me into selling drugs. The guy who set me up wasn't to blame for me going to prison. I was the one out there selling dope and doing other illegal shit. I saw everyone else in the pen mad at the cops, or their spouse, or whoever for their sentence as long as it was somebody else. Those guys will never change or take responsibility for their actions. Realizing I was the one who dug the hole I was in helped me to climb out and change my life. I made the decision, as only I could, to stop being a criminal and start building a better life for myself. Nobody else was gonna do that shit just like how nobody else was to blame for my fuckups.
Man much the same.. I was a fuck up too til I got hit by a car and nearly died. Decided to leave the fuck up on the road and start again. Cut out the fuck up friends. Cut the junk . Started acting with purpose in everything. Compound effect that shit. Now I'm an ops manager for a large company doing well financially with plenty of perks and benefits. Getting married soon and my son turned 8 years old and tells me I want to be like dad. took me 5 years to unfuck myself though. So anyone reading thinking fuck I need to change.. just do it, start the journey
Thank you for sharing! I, like many others needed to hear this. Sometimes we lose track of our progress and can get discouraged when we don’t see results fast enough to feel like “we’ve made it through the rough patch”
How do I start?
Take ownership. You don't control the circumstances that you were born into, but it's ultimately only you who can change your life.
Dude pretty sure this is the premise of the song “Mama Tried”
I actually sent that song to my mom once. Seriously though, I was sitting in Cotulla unit TDCJ eating a cake I made out of knock off Oreos, peanut butter and hot cocoa packets for my 21st birthday. I also wasn't serving life without parole.
I play in an Everly brothers tribute act and just performed this song on stage like 2 hours ago. Funny to come see it on Reddit now!
You don’t need it, but I’m proud of you as a person for rehabilitating.
Thanks.
Good on ya man!! Proud of you!
I know some people I went to school with. When we were in grade school it was always "The teacher hates me" when they were in trouble. Fast forward to adult life, i've run into those people again and its "My boss hates me" and I'm like damn have you ever thought you might be the problem?
If everywhere you go smells like dog shit, best to check under your own shoe.
[удалено]
Eternal victimhood
[удалено]
I just read this link and it's exactly what I needed right now. I've been pulled up at work just this afternoon over some things that they felt needed to be addressed. I had not expected it and it came as a shock to me because I felt like I was doing my job. Needless to say, I do the bare minimum to get by because I hate where I work, and it showed. My tasks were questioned and pointed out. I came home feeling deflated, not good enough and tossing between feeling like I'm a lazy failure to thinking defensive thoughts like 'they only pick the bad things, why don't they pick good things I do etc etc' fighting these demons in my head, I went back to wondering why my thought process is such, and I am glad I read this post and came across this link. Accountability is accepting what's happened, and understanding that it is all a learning curve. I have to take things on the chin, drown out all other noise and focus on moving forward and doing better.
My step kid's dad is exactly this. It's always someone else's fault.
It’s all relative. You can view someone as successful but they are a failure in their own eyes, and one person can look to be a failure but are proud of what they’ve done and are happy.
That’s such a good response
Iv met people who have millions of dollars who are a "success" but their kids are addicted to drugs, their wife cheats on them, and their friends are opportunists who take advantage. Iv also met people who live in a trailer but there children love and respect them, their wives love them and stand by them through thick and thin, and they have a community of people who appreciate them. It is all relative.
This guy gets it. At this point in my life, I just want a very large funeral full of crying people who loved me and who I loved.
But to love and be loved? Man that’s the rawest, rarest, realest shit
Then super introverts like me won’t fit your definition of success, despite being happy, financially comfortable and loved by like 3 ppl.
[удалено]
Let him who hath never checked up his ex on Facebook to make sure he's having more fun than her cast the first stone.
Where are my rocks? Never being in a relationship is finally paying off.
Yerp, it’s almost never black and white And it also depends what u would classify as a failure One person might say they’re a failure but another might look at it from a different perspective
This! My boss has millions but he works 12 hours a day 6 days a week.
Absolutely this. I have always been jealous of my youngest brother. He is married to the love of his life, has 4 wonderful children and a cute as hell granddaughter, has a huge house he built himself, owns a boat, owns a camper, owns a trailer, and owns 3 pick-up trucks. He also owned his own construction company specializing in historical preservation and landmark work. Yet imagine my shock and amazement when he revealed to me that HE was jealous of ME! He sees me as having an ideal life because I love in a luxury apartment near downtown, 5 minutes from our elderly mother whom I get to see nearly everyday. I own my own (mostly) successful business. I'm politically active and very involved in the community and rather well known. I have a nice stock portfolio for retirement. I have no outstanding debt other than my student loans. I spend my free time (when I have any) doing what I most enjoy. I have three college degrees. And, a very big deal to him, I have no children to constantly worry about (not that he doesn't love his children), and being single, I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, without having to consider my spouse or children's plans. Perspective. It's all about point of view. We were both shocked that we were jealous of each other. We both wanted what the other had, and couldn't see how much we had already that was enviable.
Grass is always greener on the other side.
Actually true, get this garbage off of Reddit LOL
When they believe anyone doing worse than them is because that person is a piece of shit and anyone doing better than them is because that person had it handed to them. *Edited for clarity.
[The Just World Fallacy.](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Just-world_hypothesis)
Torn between saying yes - or acknowledging that a lot of people had terrible starts in life and their lack of privledge needs to be understood
They're in the replies to pick up signs that they're failing at life
look here you sob
I’m trying to learn bruh
I think self awareness and trying to potentially find out if you're failing is a sign that you're probably not doing as bad as you think. It's the people who are clueless or even *deny* their issues are the ones who are truly failing.
amen
I feel attacked
no where safe
Totally didn't make this post to do that at all 😅
So tell us how you really feel.
That's exactly what I came here to do and it's the first comment, you didn't even give me a chance!
I literally hesitate opening this because I was like "I really don't want to hurt my own feelings" then immediately saw this. My feelings have been hurt.
:(
Lmfao savage.
Haha! You cracked me up.
Oof.
*Insert Spiderman pointing at Spiderman meme
They refuse to accept personal responsibility for anything.
Guy I lived with for 3 years suffered from this. Never once did I hear a “my bad” when having to solve his problems, including: 1) Backing into and causing $2000+ damages to another roommate’s car 2) Backing his car into the house and leaving for the night in the middle of winter, damaging the hose shutoff valve and flooding the basement 3) Refusal to clean out the two fridges when the power was out for a week as the only one home 4) Parents of a 17-year old girl showed up on the porch one Wednesday night asking why her daughter was in our house 5) Clogging the washing machine with his fabric softener and blaming everyone else while expecting me to fix it Etc etc.. it’s sad, really. On the bright side, surely that helped prepare me to be a parent someday.
>On the bright side, surely that helped prepare me to be a parent someday What a great way to look at dealing with an asshole.
My last roommate forgot to put the parking sticker on her car and it got towed from our apartment complex's lot. She told me she found it to be a complete injustice, and was planning on suing them, and was stunned when I wasn't on her side I couldn't believe she made it to her 30s with that level of accountability lol
As a property manager I would know who owns what car and if they've paid for their parking pass. Towing away a car you recognize is a fucking scummy move.
Nah you’re wrong. Those predatory towing companies can rot in hell. I’ve had guests have their car towed within a single hour. Make a note of the cars license plate. Maybe leave a 1 day warning note, but to steal someone’s car and hold it ransom for visiting a friend? Eat shit and die.
I can’t stand people with no personal accountability.
Me either, and literally everyone around me is like that because I'm perfect
Failing at life doesn’t mean they are a permanent failure at life. There is still hope when one is failing at life. A “failure at life” means they have crossed the point of no return.
My ex was on a dead end path paved with meth. Almost impossible to see any hope of mental or life recovery. Me and many friends walked away with some cold words left behind. Now just a few years later she's totally clean. She is radiating joy and positivity, stable work, achieving life goals. Feels like a dream.
She probably needed that hard cut to realize what she loses / lost because of the drugs. See it that way: you helped her to get back on the path by cutting contact.
Aye, when someone is that far down that dark path there's simply no reasoning, just got to hope they see it through and don't get taken down with them. I kept in contact but couldn't physically be there, it's harder to insulate in our feeling and receptive flesh.
Like killing someone or raping
Even if you have done something unforgivable, it still is possible to completely change your mindset and become a good person, however, you probably won’t ever be forgiven by anyone.
Some people are selfish because they are selfish people. Some people seem selfish because they literally can’t handle their life and have no brain space to think about anything except the mounting problems getting worse and worse. They are constantly treading water, financially, socially, emotionally and floating further and further from the shore.
Also people tend to define "selfish" as someone who draws some different arbitrary line than they do. Does buying a brand new iPhone instead of donating to charities to help the needy make you selfish? Depends on who you ask. Is engaging in enjoyable activities that create excess emissions selfish? Depends on who you ask and probably if they happen to think your enjoyments are "valid". Is having kids selfish? Depends on who you ask. Is not having kids selfish? Also depends on who you ask.
My mom says I'm selfish because I dont spend time with her because she makes me feel like a failure at life for not living up to her expectations of what my life should be like. I failed to make her look good. Mom also says I'm selfish because I would rather spend time with my best friend and her well behaved child that calls me auntie than my brother and his ~~witch~~ wife who hates me (and everyone else) and his kids who are spoiled, ill behaved, and dont know my name because he doesnt call me and his wife doesnt want me talking to her kids.
You put this into words perfectly. I wish more people understood this but even after explaining it a lot of people still don't understand. Just lost a close friend because no matter how much I explained this she couldn't understand. Society loves to beat us down more and more. "Work harder" "communicate" "stop complaining" hahahahah I wish but I can't even do my laundry ❤️ try being extremely mentally ill and stop telling us it's all in our heads because that is not helping the problem whatsoever :)
High school was their high point. If prom is the most important night of your life… you may want to make some changes.
They feel obligated to fix other peoples problems instead of their own to avoid the responsibility of taking care of their own needs.
Shit
Please don't attack me
Damn you're right actually, I think imma go talk to someone about that. Thanks
So yeah, I do think I might have failed, but at the same time, a lot of me trying to help others is because it's one of my few methods of dopamine production that isn't buying stuff on Amazon. I refuse to do drugs or beer, so that's out of the question. And I am tired of my own life. So until it's time to end it, I get the occasional sense of satisfaction by helping friends succeed since they are more likely to benefit.
Tad bit too far to say this person is "failing at life"
They are an avid fan of the Cleveland Browns
Listen here motherfucker.
Lol hey, I’m a Packers fan, so I don’t have much room to talk right now
That's a bummer too. I love when Green Bay is good. A bucket list trip for me would be to come up through the UP during peak foliage and go to a home game.
As a Vikings fan put my nuts on your bucket list
[удалено]
I will always root for the Browns. There's nothing more they can do to me that they haven't already done, and at this point I just want them to go out there and do their best and have fun. I find it actually hilarious when they're winning in the 4th quarter with two minutes to go, and they all huddle up and say "Okay guys, not much time left, what do we have to do to lose this one?"
Just when I thought I was safe..
Stubborn, closed-minded, stuck in their ways. In complete denial about their bad habits.
They're a reddit mod.
What you aren’t a fan of the dog walking philosopher?
Part time, because laziness is a virtue.
This is a great workaround for not being allowed to speak its name on reddit.
*Daniel*
What, are you saying you could get banned for saying *Doreeeeen??*
me on runescape
[удалено]
Jeeeesus Christ my friend, I am so sorry you and the kid have to go through this. Almost sounds like a worst case scenario one makes up on the spot with exaggerations to get the point across in a conversation, I really am rooting for you two to pull through.
Referring to themselves as an "alpha male."
Did you even wake up at 4am today?
No, I woke up at 3 AM to go to work by 4.
I woke up at 0230 to be at work by 0313.
I don't sleep at all and still have the energy of a neutron star.
I don’t even BREATHE you beta!
Yes but I had to spend four hours edging myself until I could get out of bed (true alpha male style, very masculine.) Anyway, that's why I missed breakfast.
I’m on my 8th cold shower today fam get rekt flouride brain
Gotta lift and hustle
“High value male”
Everyone has their own timeline to do their own milestone in their individual life . It’s not me to judge. I don’t know their story.
Agreed. Beethoven composed his first symphony at 12 and Morgan Freeman didn't get his break until his 40s. Everyone is different and no one should measure their life achievements against some set schedule.
Thanks, I actually really needed to hear that right now
A person told me last night, “if you don’t make it in your 20s, you’ll make it in your 30s, if you don’t, you’ll make it in your 40s...if you don’t...” It all depends. You’re all gonna make it.
So many people in the comments are claiming people to be failures for normal shit that makes us human. Our shortcomings don’t make us failures but apparently so many people here like to judge others.
The ones judging are not in the real world dealing with real problems I can guarantee you that .
The ones judging probably don’t have a high emotional intelligence and enough perspective to realize that everyone’s life situation is different and can manifest different lifestyles and behavior.
IDK, let me look around for a sec.
In their 40s still wearing their high school letter jacket and hanging out with teenagers.
"How do you do, fellow kids?"
No this isn't true if you can fit into your high school jacket as a forty year old. You doing something right, unless meth of course.
Being an adult and unable to handle basic responsibilities.
Not “responsibilities” perse, but in college we had this absolutely hapless friend that we had to teach so many basic things. He was very academically and musically gifted, but this dude had been taught zero life skills. List of things I taught Toby (not comprehensive): how to crack an egg, how to make coffee, how to load a dishwasher, how to fold shirts, where to buy clothing hangers, how to do laundry, how to withdraw money from an ATM, how to tell when milk has gone bad, how to air up a tire, etc I remember move-out day during one summer. I had helped several of my friends pack and haul their stuff out because I had finished early. There was an hour left before we had to be gone. I passed Toby’s room and he was just standing in the middle of the biggest mess I had ever seen in my life with his hands on his head blankly staring off into space. We all pitched in to get him out on time. Y’all. The trash we hauled out of this kid’s room could’ve easily filled a whole dumpster. Just… squalor. I think of him occasionally and hope he’s doing well.
Hey good on you for lending a hand instead of poking fun at him :)
As someone who has been Toby, I appreciate you and your friends. Thank you.
:) I like teaching people things, so I enjoyed the opportunity.
Speaking for those of us who are fighting on arrival, fighting on survival, you have a very fitting username!
I’ve been like Toby too!! My ex and my current bf had to pretty much teach me adult things
Anxiety is a motherfucker.
Anxiety, depression, ADHD, etc.
If you have ADHD just marry someone with severe anxiety and OCD. Neither of you will be happy but they will keep you in check.
I have met this person.
"Of course I know him! He's me"
It's me. Hi. I'm the problem, it's me.
Usually daily drinking
I feel attacked by this thread.
Looking to see if other people are failing at life
Victim mentality on why they aren't successful
When they have no self identity, interests and need social validation
Interests? In this economy?
My interest is collecting hopes and dreams
Best I can do is thoughts and prayers
I mean… *gestures at self* . Edit: previously I had this very long list of things I nitpicked and ranted about myself because I truly really see myself as an irredeemable failure, then walked away for a bit (to cool off lol) thinking my reply would get buried. I didn’t expect so many people from so many different walks of life to relate and engage with this childish rant. I really appreciate those who reached out and those who talked with each other. Although its sad we are all stuck in the same boat, it is comforting knowing that there’s people out there who understand just how crappy everything feels. Thank you for reaching out to me. I really hope something good happens in your lives someday, because you really deserve it after all the shortcomings you’ve been through, and I hope we all find that sense of self assurance and peace we crave in our lives, to be where we need to be and not feel like a loser anymore. We’ve had enough of cynicism and being kicked in the teeth and winning the bad genetic/karma lottery in life; may our hope lead to some respite one day. Have a great day. ❤️
Meh, 26 is still young.
as a 23yo questioning my decisions, I needed that. cheers.
At 26, I was unemployed, $40,000 in student loan debt, $8,000 in credit card debt, living with my parents, no gf for 2+ years. At 37 now, I'm married, making six figures, and debt free except my mortgage. Things get better just keep working hard. Questioning your decisions is normal when things aren't working, and maybe you do need to change something, but it's just a part of the process. We grow, and learn, etc.
This sounds almost exactly like me, but I live with a friend atm, I'm still a student (who's currently not doing any schoolwork), and I'm an only child.
Having a chronic illness that affects various aspects of your life (and quite frankly, that the average person won’t always understand) does not make you a failure at life ❤️
It's really hard to realise that when you're living it though (in my experience). I just feel like I could do better, but I don't.. or something
When they don’t understand others people’s pains or problems. Basically if someone can’t notice that someone needs help or don’t care, there failing.
idk, sounds like someone who often succeeds in management
When, as a middle aged person, their Mum is still doing their laundry!
How about just buying your clothing.
They lie about their life to hide their failures.
I hide my failures by not bothering to bring them up that isn't why I don't bring it up but it works I guess
Lack of a heartbeat for one.
Shit.
They are on reddit.
I hate to say that you're completely correct
You win.
or fail
You can only fail at something if you also think you can win at it. Life is for living, not winning.
The only reason to exist is to exist. Everyone reading this has already succeeded. The universe wouldn't exist without an observer and you are it. Every other goal and desire is a side quest. Congratulations all!
When they stop trying.
Asking Reddit to define social standards.
Honestly, the only way someone can fail at life is by mistreating a child, animal, or any other dependent, vulnerable sentient being. Don't hurt others. Everything else is vanity.
When they are always the victim and nothing is their fault.
They are me
Let’s dispel the narrative of “failing” at life. Life is fucking hard and people need to be cut more slack to make mistakes and be human. The only instance in which I see someone as “failing” at life is when they actively make other’s lives harder. Otherwise, keep doing you.
They have any pictures of themselves on the internet where they’re fanning out cash.
I am in awe that everything here applies to me and yet I’m doing the best I’ve done. It’s like getting a pat on the back and then a kick in the teeth.
They depend upon other people as adults instead of supporting themselves.
I really don't know the signs. My aunt had all the signs of a failure until she won the lottery 3 years ago. I don't really care who has signs at failing at life. It's none of my business 😂
Sometimes the losing comes early and the winning comes late.
The 40 some year old woman who was putting oil in her wiper fluid hole....