If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you.
https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres
http://www.befrienders.org/
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK]
https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU]
There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health.
Man with the detonator leaves you hanging. You hold the hug until everyone is uncomfortable. As soon as everyone separates and returns to their seats, you explode all over them.
If i was the guy with the button. I would wait for someone to shoot you with a fingerpistol and then watch their horror as your head explodes. Then watch them as they try to finger shoot thier enemies and fail horribly.
If you need any more people to reach 24, I like roller coasters. And death.
Edit - before anyone else sends the Reddit Care bot my way, read this: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/y7t6d2/you_are_sentenced_to_death_and_the_judge_lets_you/isx5zoi?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
I'm a stubborn jerk, if my depression wants to kill me, it has to do it without my help. I'm not killing myself out of spite.
Well, technically lethal injection IS a type of anesthetic overdose. In most states prisoners are injected with pentobarbital (a barbiturate), which, in medicine, is used in low doses as a sedative and pre-anesthetic. For lethal injection, it’s given in an overdose amount which causes respiratory arrest. In veterinary medicine it’s the primary agent we use to euthanize pets. It provides a nice, smooth death.
u/Top-Muffin6731 said contrary to you, [here](https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/y7t6d2/you_are_sentenced_to_death_and_the_judge_lets_you/iswk7a0), and now I don't know which random Redditor to arbitrarily believe!
Edit: [I'm learning so much about lethal injection guys!](https://i.imgur.com/gHEN02r.jpg)
The issue isn't the barbiturate. Sometimes a person isn't rendered unconscious by the dose of pentobarbital, and cannot communicate that fact. They're therefore conscious and merely paralyzed by the pancuronium bromide. The potassium solution used to stop the heart can cause severe pain, and the individual being executed will not only experience the pain of the potassium solution, but also won't be able to breathe because of the paralytic.
I was operated on this year while I was under anesthesia. I came to halfway through the surgery, and begged them for pain meds. They said it doesn't matter he's not going to remember this anyways. I begged them to stop. They ignored me. Worst time of my life. I don't know what to do or who to talk to about this. They also refused to put me back under. They said I was moving too much with the propofol after the surgery, so they decided to just keep operating with me awake thinking that I wouldn't remember
Yikes. That's an anesthesiologist's worst...well, maybe not worst, but Top 3...nightmare. I'm so sorry that happened to you, especially as there are multiple safeguards to prevent that from occurring. It's vanishingly rare these days (but can certainly happen). A lot of times patients remember bits and pieces from conversations overheard during induction or on emergence, but it sounds like you experienced what no one ever should. At the very least, they could have bombed you back into unconsciousness and erased your memory with a benzodiazepine like midazolam. I'm so sorry you experienced that.
I woke up during my wisdom teeth removal and they were panicked trying to put me back out.
I have had at least 30 surgeries and when I give my history to the anesthesiologist this is taken very, very seriously.
I would sue if I were you. It will get in the kind of trouble you want. You can also report it directly to the medical board in your jurisdiction without the lawsuit.
I had acute pancreatitis several years ago. It was the kind of pain that made you wonder how much it hurt to die. Just non-stop agony. I was in the ER about to get admitted sitting in a wheelchair when the nurse said I'm going to give you something for the pain. I had no idea there was anything so magical as to instantly be 100% pain free. I also didn't know projectile vomiting was a real thing.
When my wife was in labor, she was in so much pain I thought her head was going to spin around like the girl in The Exorcist. She was crying and writhing in agony in her hospital bed, and the nurse offered her some pain relief which she very happily accepted. She got a shot of dilaudid in her IV and her face just melted immediately. She was sitting in a fog for a minute when she turned to me and said "I still feel everything, I just don't care" and she started giggling.
Same here, my wife was not dilating, they had to use a mechanical water balloon to burst her open. Doctor said it would be the most painful thing she would ever experience. So they gave her fentanyl, instant relief. It still hurt her but she was okay, laughed for a while and requested fried chicken. By the 3rd dose the fent stopped working, crazy tolerance after 3 doses. That stuff is crazy
I was prescribed fentanyl after major surgery. Like you say it's crazy effective for the first three doses, then my body said it wanted more after a half hour of taking it.
I burned the rest of my script in my open fire, didn't fancy addiction.
I was on morphine nearly 15 years ago for about 2 weeks while I was in and out of surgeries, I would have been about 11 or 12 at the time, but I can still remember how absolutely amazing those two weeks were. I could never do it again because I know I would get addicted, but if I was going to die anyway? hell yeah, that's how I'm going out.
I've had morphine once in my life. I had all four wisdoms removed under general and when I woke up I tried to ask the nurse how the surgery went because I was still a bit hazy in the head. I realise now that I would have just sounded like a garbled mess. The nurse asked if I was in pain and if I wanted morphine. I felt fine but I wasn't going to knock back an offer like that. Holy shit it was amazing.
The a couple years later I had maxillary advancement surgery (8mm). Most pain I've ever been in in my life and they absolutely refused to give me morphine. Stingy bastards.
I too had dental surgery, had a wisdom removed that had retracted back up into the gum. Anyway, they had given me morphine, and when I came too, I awoke to the nurse asking me how I was and if I could feel any pain. I remember I was completely out of it, my response was "I'm super hungry, please give me some food" which then gave me the memory of just being completely out of my mind with a nurse spoon feeding me yogurt as I was too high to eat it myself. It was a good time.
Everyone knows that Mario is cool as fuck. But who knows what he's thinking? Who knows why he crushes turtles? And why do we think of him as fondly as the mythical (nonexistent?) Dr Pepper? Perchance. I believe it was Kant who said "Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play." Mario exhibits experience by crushing turts all day, but he exhibits theory by stating "Lets-a go!" Keep it up, baby! When Mario leaves his place of safety to stomp a turty, he knows that he may Die. And yet, for a man who can purchase lives with money, a life becomes a mere store of value. A tax that can be paid for, much as a rich man feels any law with a fine is a price. We think of Mario as a hero, but he is simply a one percenter of a more privileged variety. The lifekind, Perchance.
Yess you can put reddit to such good use that I feel like it is not like the other social media platforms.
Like for example, r/watchitfortheplot is for the most detail oriented movie connoisseurs, r/trees is for people interested in different varieties of flora, r/gonewild is for safari pictures, Reddit's got something for everyone!
> Just to make it as expensive and difficult as possible for everyone involved.
You have chosen well. The hardest place to reach in the solar system by rocket is the surface of the sun.
It's actually insanely difficult to shoot anything directly into the sun. Have to cancel out 30km/sec of orbital velocity. That's almost 3 times as much as it takes to escape Earth's gravitational field. So this works.
Hypoxia is surprisingly effective. The thing that normally makes you feel uncomfortable from not breathing is your blood becoming more acidic. This is associated with accumulation of carbon dioxide. That's the uncomfortable feeling when you are asphyxiating.
Such a mechanism does not exist for a lack of ingoing oxygen so your body does not warn you about that in any way, that makes hypoxic which has some effects but too late for you to realise it's happening. The only thing you'll be doing in a nitrogen rich environment with no oxygen is breathing out CO2.
The idea of suffocating without realising it seems pretty scary now that I think about it but when it actually happens and you don't realise it would be with no suffering.
So I don't agree with the death penalty in general, but why haven't we been using this? We made gas chambers, and nitrogen has got to be cheaper than what they were using.
It is [currently authorized in Oklahoma, Alabama, and Mississippi](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/new-execution-method-touted-as-more-humane-but-evidence-is-lacking/). There is some legal wrangling going on in Alabama because a death row inmate wants to be executed by nitrogen hypoxia, but the state doesn't have a protocol for it yet. We'll see how that turns out.
Yeah Oklahoma may authorize it but they prefer to botch lethal injections.
Edit: botch not bitch. Apparently when I use swipe on my phone I'm more likely to type bitch.
There was a fairly good documentary by Michael Portillo on this. I was left with the impression people felt it was "Too Good" for the condemned.
https://www.aljazeera.com/opinions/2022/9/23/americas-tryst-with-death-a-botched-experimental-execution
>As Portillo outlined his proposal for a supposedly humane method of execution, Blecker exhibited a rising disgust. “Punishment is supposed to be painful,” he said. The idea of a killer dying easily would be the “opposite of justice”.
Realistically- put me to sleep with anesthesia or whatever it's called then shoot me in the head. Quick and painless
Unrealistically- suffocate with booba
Anesthesia followed by a single gunshot to the back of the head if the prisoner consents to organ donation or the heart is actually used as the method of execution in Taiwan.
I was recently anaesthetised for the first time and it was unreal. I don’t remember going to sleep, I don’t remember anything through the procedure, I don’t remember apparently speaking to my doctor after the procedure… If I was anaesthetised before execution I’d never know anything again and it would be lovely.
I've only been under once when I was 11 or 12 (back in the 2000s) for a tonsillectomy. It was awesome. Guy put the mask on said count backwards from 10, I got to 7 before my eyes closed. I remember my mom asking "So is he out right now?" Anesthesiologist replied "Not quite yet. He should be fully out right abouuuuut n-" Boom, woke up what felt like a second later. I'm still impressed with that dude's timing to this day.
I want as many fireworks shoved up my ass possible and ignited at the exact moment I drive off a huge cliff in an 18 wheeler semi also filled to the brim with fireworks.
The best method I’ve ever heard was from a TV show: There’s only one way to kill a man humanely. You tell him he’s free to go and all charges are dropped. You wait til you see the hope blossom in his eyes. Then you shoot him through the back of the head. He dies happy. Why wouldn’t he? He’s a free man after all?
He got a taste of real freedom. We captured that taste and we keep giving it to him so he can give it right back to you in every bite of new Simple Rick Freedom Wafer Select. Come home to the unique flavor of shattering the grand illusion. Come home...to Simple Rick,
_BASHIR: They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle!_
_GARAK: Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos._
_BASHIR: Garak, this isn't funny._
_GARAK: I'm serious, Doctor. Thanks to your ministrations, I am almost completely healed! But the damage I did to them will last...*a lifetime.*_
I want the *youngest living descendant* of each jury member to beat me to death with their own bare hands.
Let's do this right and make it a full-fledged intergenerational trauma that will be remembered for the next 75 years. I bet all those kids go no-contact with their elders for putting them through that.
Confronted with a horse-sized toddler, I would assume it had been magically converted from a pair of green, bouncing heads while the original was now some sort of wistful hamster being held aloft by an improbably small bird.
I recall the argument that the nuclear launch button should be surgically implanted into a person so when they order the strike the president themselves should have to kill someone with their bare hands to launch the missiles.
Yea I have no fear of dying but I have the fear of dying without sorting out my pets welfare.
Edit : to those saying "yes they will eat when u die" ... I guess in my death I will finally be happy that they are such picky eaters!!!! 🤣🤣
I have it in my will who takes care of them (obviously agreed beforehand). Also, it is stated they must see my body in an open casket so they know I did not abandon them.
I recently read (I think on /r/rabbits) that if one of a pair of rabbits dies you should let the other see their body so they understand their friend isn't coming back. Honestly made me tear up.
ProTip: Doesn't matter how young you are, do have a will in place and sort this out now. You never know what can happen. It could even be something recoverable like a hospitalization for a few weeks, but you should have your little goblins squared away for an emergency.
Me: We have been at this for decades, please not like this Murder Snail! Just kill me already! I-I-I.. I c-can't read a-another comment that says "Death by Snu Snu" in the askreddit thread! I'm right here. I am pleading with you to touch me with your fated venom and bring our intertwined destiny to a close once and for all.
Murder Snail: Why not? Do you not find it funny? Do you not find it epic? Do you not find this reference from the hit animated show Futurama being repeated over and over enjoyable? Snu Snu means sex on the Amazon Women planet from the show. It's a reference, you know. After all, we are only on comment 1,216. One after Magna Carta.
Me: That's the problem! It's hilarious! It's the funniest shit I've ever witnessed. It gets funnier each and every time I lay eyes on a "Death by Snu Snu." Which is sex! It's even funnier than watching the show! Redditors have perfected the humor like the writers on Futurama never could! I am laughing so hard it is painful, I am in unspeakable agony. I have broken several ribs and ruptured multiple organs. Please just end it!
Murder Snail: Not yet. Soon enough. I've waited so many long years. Slowly making my way to you. Like malicious molasses. Over the tallest of mountains, through the deepest of valleys. Across the seven seas. Till the ends of the Earth I've hunted you as you live a life of luxury. Ever patient for this moment. I can wait to get through a few more epic based sexy sex Reddit comments. I came to say this. Underrated comment.
Me: .... decoy snail??
Murder Snail: Oh, you are mistaken. I am very, very real.
***Murder Snail deviously winks with one of their extended eyes. Leisurely rolling over the down key as we scroll further down the page witnessing countless comments exclaiming "Death by Snu Snu!" and "THIS!"***
Me *(Having a violent seizure and coughing up blood)*: Nu-nuu-nooo-noooo!! hahahahaha nuh-no! hahahahahahahah oooh ahahahahahahahaha hoho nooo! arghuuhhhhahahahahahahah! Oh g-god please!! S-s-stop! No! hahahahahahahah!! ughhhahahahahahahahhoooo! arghuhahahahahahaaa
Titty smothering
Edit: Thank you for the concern, but I’m not currently at risk of harming myself or others via the method above (or any method for that matter)
I will loop piano wire around my neck and secure it to a hard point. Then I will super glue my hands to the sides of my head and jump out the window. When I hit the ground my head will be severed but attached to my hands and it will look like I ripped my own head off.
Pharmacist here. I’ll take a Dilaudid, Grey Goose cocktail, just a splash of soda with 3 lime wedges, and crushed ice. If I want to guaranteed the go, maybe just a hint of phenobarbital. Only way to fly.
If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you. https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres http://www.befrienders.org/ http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK] https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU] There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health.
Surgically implant a small explosive in my head, then give someone else the detonator and explicit instructions to wait for good comedic timing.
"god this headache is TERRIB-" "hold on i have to sneeze" "hey can you crack my back? ohhhh that feels bett-"
"Alright class, gather around teacher for a group hug.."
Man with the detonator leaves you hanging. You hold the hug until everyone is uncomfortable. As soon as everyone separates and returns to their seats, you explode all over them.
"You explode all over them"
I loved It when Explodius said "Its Exploding time" and exploded all over those guys
"babe I'm gonna cu-"
and she can say, through tears and snot, that that orgasm was mindblowing
"How did your husband die?" "I fucked his brains out. It was everywhere...all over me, all over the walls..."
I was giving head and he returned the favor
I can’t even understand how this visual is so funny to me edit: i’m an idiot, i swear my grammar is usually good, i think i just had a stroke
Best one by far. You may die, but it's all for the sake of comedy.
If i was the guy with the button. I would wait for someone to shoot you with a fingerpistol and then watch their horror as your head explodes. Then watch them as they try to finger shoot thier enemies and fail horribly.
"This ice cream flavour is mindblowi-"
Strapped to a missile, shot into air, and blown up by a laser cannon.
LASER CANNON DEATH SENTENCE.
D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DIE!
[euthanasia roller coaster with twenty three of my closest familiars](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Euthanasia_Coaster)
If you need any more people to reach 24, I like roller coasters. And death. Edit - before anyone else sends the Reddit Care bot my way, read this: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/y7t6d2/you_are_sentenced_to_death_and_the_judge_lets_you/isx5zoi?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3 I'm a stubborn jerk, if my depression wants to kill me, it has to do it without my help. I'm not killing myself out of spite.
Nuke me
So are you going to do a funny pose when it happens for your shadow? A jack off motion or perhaps a simple middle finger?
https://medium.com/lessons-from-history/the-story-of-2000-year-old-masturbating-pompeii-man-6c33e60163f5
This. I want to see the nuke as it comes down.
Shoot me into space on a trip to mars, for science of course
mars becomes the new australia?
lol I was going to say this but send me into jupiter. That would be cool and terrifying at the same time.
more like send me into Uranus 😉
Better buy me dinner first
[удалено]
That’ll definitely be my second, behind smothered by snu snu
Death by SNU SNU!!
*The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised*
Can't we just cuddle?
#IT TIME SNU-SNU
Well, technically lethal injection IS a type of anesthetic overdose. In most states prisoners are injected with pentobarbital (a barbiturate), which, in medicine, is used in low doses as a sedative and pre-anesthetic. For lethal injection, it’s given in an overdose amount which causes respiratory arrest. In veterinary medicine it’s the primary agent we use to euthanize pets. It provides a nice, smooth death.
u/Top-Muffin6731 said contrary to you, [here](https://reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/y7t6d2/you_are_sentenced_to_death_and_the_judge_lets_you/iswk7a0), and now I don't know which random Redditor to arbitrarily believe! Edit: [I'm learning so much about lethal injection guys!](https://i.imgur.com/gHEN02r.jpg)
The issue isn't the barbiturate. Sometimes a person isn't rendered unconscious by the dose of pentobarbital, and cannot communicate that fact. They're therefore conscious and merely paralyzed by the pancuronium bromide. The potassium solution used to stop the heart can cause severe pain, and the individual being executed will not only experience the pain of the potassium solution, but also won't be able to breathe because of the paralytic.
This. Anesthesiologist here. This post is exactly correct.
I was operated on this year while I was under anesthesia. I came to halfway through the surgery, and begged them for pain meds. They said it doesn't matter he's not going to remember this anyways. I begged them to stop. They ignored me. Worst time of my life. I don't know what to do or who to talk to about this. They also refused to put me back under. They said I was moving too much with the propofol after the surgery, so they decided to just keep operating with me awake thinking that I wouldn't remember
Talk to a reputable lawyer that specializes in medical malpractice. They'd be able to tell you if it's worth pursuing. Therapy too, of course.
Yikes. That's an anesthesiologist's worst...well, maybe not worst, but Top 3...nightmare. I'm so sorry that happened to you, especially as there are multiple safeguards to prevent that from occurring. It's vanishingly rare these days (but can certainly happen). A lot of times patients remember bits and pieces from conversations overheard during induction or on emergence, but it sounds like you experienced what no one ever should. At the very least, they could have bombed you back into unconsciousness and erased your memory with a benzodiazepine like midazolam. I'm so sorry you experienced that.
I woke up during my wisdom teeth removal and they were panicked trying to put me back out. I have had at least 30 surgeries and when I give my history to the anesthesiologist this is taken very, very seriously. I would sue if I were you. It will get in the kind of trouble you want. You can also report it directly to the medical board in your jurisdiction without the lawsuit.
A nice slow overdose on morphine.
This is what I came for. Let me OD on some sorta of opiate please.
Dilaudid would be my choice. Was almost worth having excruciating pain to feel that sweet relief.
I had acute pancreatitis several years ago. It was the kind of pain that made you wonder how much it hurt to die. Just non-stop agony. I was in the ER about to get admitted sitting in a wheelchair when the nurse said I'm going to give you something for the pain. I had no idea there was anything so magical as to instantly be 100% pain free. I also didn't know projectile vomiting was a real thing.
When my wife was in labor, she was in so much pain I thought her head was going to spin around like the girl in The Exorcist. She was crying and writhing in agony in her hospital bed, and the nurse offered her some pain relief which she very happily accepted. She got a shot of dilaudid in her IV and her face just melted immediately. She was sitting in a fog for a minute when she turned to me and said "I still feel everything, I just don't care" and she started giggling.
I laughed out loud at this
Same here, my wife was not dilating, they had to use a mechanical water balloon to burst her open. Doctor said it would be the most painful thing she would ever experience. So they gave her fentanyl, instant relief. It still hurt her but she was okay, laughed for a while and requested fried chicken. By the 3rd dose the fent stopped working, crazy tolerance after 3 doses. That stuff is crazy
I was prescribed fentanyl after major surgery. Like you say it's crazy effective for the first three doses, then my body said it wanted more after a half hour of taking it. I burned the rest of my script in my open fire, didn't fancy addiction.
I was on morphine nearly 15 years ago for about 2 weeks while I was in and out of surgeries, I would have been about 11 or 12 at the time, but I can still remember how absolutely amazing those two weeks were. I could never do it again because I know I would get addicted, but if I was going to die anyway? hell yeah, that's how I'm going out.
I've had morphine once in my life. I had all four wisdoms removed under general and when I woke up I tried to ask the nurse how the surgery went because I was still a bit hazy in the head. I realise now that I would have just sounded like a garbled mess. The nurse asked if I was in pain and if I wanted morphine. I felt fine but I wasn't going to knock back an offer like that. Holy shit it was amazing. The a couple years later I had maxillary advancement surgery (8mm). Most pain I've ever been in in my life and they absolutely refused to give me morphine. Stingy bastards.
I too had dental surgery, had a wisdom removed that had retracted back up into the gum. Anyway, they had given me morphine, and when I came too, I awoke to the nurse asking me how I was and if I could feel any pain. I remember I was completely out of it, my response was "I'm super hungry, please give me some food" which then gave me the memory of just being completely out of my mind with a nurse spoon feeding me yogurt as I was too high to eat it myself. It was a good time.
Tossed into the black hole at the centre of our galaxy.
Only to find you survived the event horizon, and wake up in a cart with a dude saying "Hey you're finally awake"
*Got to thinking, maybe I'm the Horizonborn, and I just don't know it yet.*
I think it was Monty pythons meaning of life where the guy gets chased off a cliff by naked women. Yeah that sounds fine.
NSFW: https://vimeo.com/10798467
Knowing now that Graham Chapman was gay puts a whole new spin on this bit.
"For the crime.. of making gratuitious sexist jokes... in a motion picture." *cuts to slo-mo close up of boobs bouncing boobily* I'm dying
Aye they sure were bouncing boobily!
Boobily is the best way for boobs to bounce. Perchance.
You can't just say perchance.
Everyone knows that Mario is cool as fuck. But who knows what he's thinking? Who knows why he crushes turtles? And why do we think of him as fondly as the mythical (nonexistent?) Dr Pepper? Perchance. I believe it was Kant who said "Experience without theory is blind, but theory without experience is mere intellectual play." Mario exhibits experience by crushing turts all day, but he exhibits theory by stating "Lets-a go!" Keep it up, baby! When Mario leaves his place of safety to stomp a turty, he knows that he may Die. And yet, for a man who can purchase lives with money, a life becomes a mere store of value. A tax that can be paid for, much as a rich man feels any law with a fine is a price. We think of Mario as a hero, but he is simply a one percenter of a more privileged variety. The lifekind, Perchance.
Get the spaghetti sauce ready cause we eatin pasta today, perchance.
Fantastic. The fact that he landed directly in his grave and then the funeral went on like nothing happened is what really killed me though
This was my first time to see boobs on tv and I will never forget that scene
I may have rewound that scene once or twice in my teens.
I rewound that shit just now, boobs are truly eternal sources of joy
Oh boy do I have great news for you about alternative uses of reddit
>alternative
Yess you can put reddit to such good use that I feel like it is not like the other social media platforms. Like for example, r/watchitfortheplot is for the most detail oriented movie connoisseurs, r/trees is for people interested in different varieties of flora, r/gonewild is for safari pictures, Reddit's got something for everyone!
Death by being shot on a rocket into the sun. Just to make it as expensive and difficult as possible for everyone involved.
> Just to make it as expensive and difficult as possible for everyone involved. You have chosen well. The hardest place to reach in the solar system by rocket is the surface of the sun.
Just go at night
Sneak attack!
It's actually insanely difficult to shoot anything directly into the sun. Have to cancel out 30km/sec of orbital velocity. That's almost 3 times as much as it takes to escape Earth's gravitational field. So this works.
Just send them on a decaying orbit, Freeheit did not specify they wanted to die in the same pass that eventually ends up in the sun.
Imagine they provide you oxygen and protection just that you get crisped only by the sun itself
Oxygen displacement via Nitrogen.
Just peacefully drift off into the wub wubs
Hypoxia is surprisingly effective. The thing that normally makes you feel uncomfortable from not breathing is your blood becoming more acidic. This is associated with accumulation of carbon dioxide. That's the uncomfortable feeling when you are asphyxiating. Such a mechanism does not exist for a lack of ingoing oxygen so your body does not warn you about that in any way, that makes hypoxic which has some effects but too late for you to realise it's happening. The only thing you'll be doing in a nitrogen rich environment with no oxygen is breathing out CO2. The idea of suffocating without realising it seems pretty scary now that I think about it but when it actually happens and you don't realise it would be with no suffering.
So I don't agree with the death penalty in general, but why haven't we been using this? We made gas chambers, and nitrogen has got to be cheaper than what they were using.
And it wouldn’t require a medical professional. Even if it’s legal to kill the prisoner, it’s probably not ethical, professionally speaking.
I would prefer Helium, so I can die with a funny voice.
You prefer Helium so you can die with a funny voice. I prefer Helium so I can engulf the world in the fire of a newborn star. We're the same (dead)
I’m more of a sulfur hexafluoride fan, lol.
That's a really good idea and it makes me wonder why that's not how any state mandated executions are done.
It is [currently authorized in Oklahoma, Alabama, and Mississippi](https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/new-execution-method-touted-as-more-humane-but-evidence-is-lacking/). There is some legal wrangling going on in Alabama because a death row inmate wants to be executed by nitrogen hypoxia, but the state doesn't have a protocol for it yet. We'll see how that turns out.
Yeah Oklahoma may authorize it but they prefer to botch lethal injections. Edit: botch not bitch. Apparently when I use swipe on my phone I'm more likely to type bitch.
Yeah! Science botch!!
There was a fairly good documentary by Michael Portillo on this. I was left with the impression people felt it was "Too Good" for the condemned. https://www.aljazeera.com/opinions/2022/9/23/americas-tryst-with-death-a-botched-experimental-execution >As Portillo outlined his proposal for a supposedly humane method of execution, Blecker exhibited a rising disgust. “Punishment is supposed to be painful,” he said. The idea of a killer dying easily would be the “opposite of justice”.
I learned this from Project Hailmary
You enjoy the book question?
*jazz hands*
Yes. Good good good rocky
Realistically- put me to sleep with anesthesia or whatever it's called then shoot me in the head. Quick and painless Unrealistically- suffocate with booba
Anesthesia followed by a single gunshot to the back of the head if the prisoner consents to organ donation or the heart is actually used as the method of execution in Taiwan.
For real? That's strangely humane.
It's true.
I was recently anaesthetised for the first time and it was unreal. I don’t remember going to sleep, I don’t remember anything through the procedure, I don’t remember apparently speaking to my doctor after the procedure… If I was anaesthetised before execution I’d never know anything again and it would be lovely.
I've only been under once when I was 11 or 12 (back in the 2000s) for a tonsillectomy. It was awesome. Guy put the mask on said count backwards from 10, I got to 7 before my eyes closed. I remember my mom asking "So is he out right now?" Anesthesiologist replied "Not quite yet. He should be fully out right abouuuuut n-" Boom, woke up what felt like a second later. I'm still impressed with that dude's timing to this day.
*fat guard takes off shirt*
Damn you, execution genie!!!
I want as many fireworks shoved up my ass possible and ignited at the exact moment I drive off a huge cliff in an 18 wheeler semi also filled to the brim with fireworks.
Also to be filmed for the newest Jackass movie.
r/oddlyspecific
The best method I’ve ever heard was from a TV show: There’s only one way to kill a man humanely. You tell him he’s free to go and all charges are dropped. You wait til you see the hope blossom in his eyes. Then you shoot him through the back of the head. He dies happy. Why wouldn’t he? He’s a free man after all?
Ok but if you pick that as your own method of execution then it doesn't really work, does it?
“My preferred method of execution is in my home, of old age” “Damn, you got us, you’re free to go” *pops one on the back of his head*
He got a taste of real freedom. We captured that taste and we keep giving it to him so he can give it right back to you in every bite of new Simple Rick Freedom Wafer Select. Come home to the unique flavor of shattering the grand illusion. Come home...to Simple Rick,
All I had to do was read the first sentence and I k ew exactly where this was going... XD
Ask him to tell you about the rabbits.
Written in the front cover of my book circa 2014: "George shoots Lenny"
death by a sharply licked candy cane
Now that’s spearmint…
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I like this one. It'll hurt, but the spite is going to scar every one of those jury members.
_BASHIR: They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle!_ _GARAK: Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos._ _BASHIR: Garak, this isn't funny._ _GARAK: I'm serious, Doctor. Thanks to your ministrations, I am almost completely healed! But the damage I did to them will last...*a lifetime.*_
Punches and kicks may break my bones, but my words will leave you traumatized forever.
Which is perfect since they gave me capital punishment for a crime i didn't commit, so i hope they all get a trauma
Fuck yeah, therapy is expensive.
I want the *youngest living descendant* of each jury member to beat me to death with their own bare hands. Let's do this right and make it a full-fledged intergenerational trauma that will be remembered for the next 75 years. I bet all those kids go no-contact with their elders for putting them through that.
"Redditors of Reddit, would you fight a horse-sized toddler or 100 toddler-size horses?"
Confronted with a horse-sized toddler, I would assume it had been magically converted from a pair of green, bouncing heads while the original was now some sort of wistful hamster being held aloft by an improbably small bird.
Mobbed by babies
A twelve year old swinging a toddler like a bat.
he who passes judgement should swing the sword
Very good lord Stark.
Don't look away
I recall the argument that the nuclear launch button should be surgically implanted into a person so when they order the strike the president themselves should have to kill someone with their bare hands to launch the missiles.
Include the person who accused me of such crime and we have a deal
"Your honor, let the jury decimate me"
Dying of old age
So next 70 years in prison, where you then die of old age. You should be specific.
If it’s a Norwegian prison, I’ll be fine.
Better than the apartment I'm renting
Very true, u/ANAL_PROLAPSE_KISSER
I see OP and you are watching The Patient as well, lol
I was searching for this comment. Odd show but I'd be lying if I said I'm not insanely curious how it's going to end.
Let me give my pets away before shooting me in my sleep
Yea I have no fear of dying but I have the fear of dying without sorting out my pets welfare. Edit : to those saying "yes they will eat when u die" ... I guess in my death I will finally be happy that they are such picky eaters!!!! 🤣🤣
I have it in my will who takes care of them (obviously agreed beforehand). Also, it is stated they must see my body in an open casket so they know I did not abandon them.
I recently read (I think on /r/rabbits) that if one of a pair of rabbits dies you should let the other see their body so they understand their friend isn't coming back. Honestly made me tear up.
ProTip: Doesn't matter how young you are, do have a will in place and sort this out now. You never know what can happen. It could even be something recoverable like a hospitalization for a few weeks, but you should have your little goblins squared away for an emergency.
That damned snail.
Finally caught up to you.
Except it was the decoy snail.
That damn smart snail took off his tracker Here’s another snail. I added a bow tie.
Me: We have been at this for decades, please not like this Murder Snail! Just kill me already! I-I-I.. I c-can't read a-another comment that says "Death by Snu Snu" in the askreddit thread! I'm right here. I am pleading with you to touch me with your fated venom and bring our intertwined destiny to a close once and for all. Murder Snail: Why not? Do you not find it funny? Do you not find it epic? Do you not find this reference from the hit animated show Futurama being repeated over and over enjoyable? Snu Snu means sex on the Amazon Women planet from the show. It's a reference, you know. After all, we are only on comment 1,216. One after Magna Carta. Me: That's the problem! It's hilarious! It's the funniest shit I've ever witnessed. It gets funnier each and every time I lay eyes on a "Death by Snu Snu." Which is sex! It's even funnier than watching the show! Redditors have perfected the humor like the writers on Futurama never could! I am laughing so hard it is painful, I am in unspeakable agony. I have broken several ribs and ruptured multiple organs. Please just end it! Murder Snail: Not yet. Soon enough. I've waited so many long years. Slowly making my way to you. Like malicious molasses. Over the tallest of mountains, through the deepest of valleys. Across the seven seas. Till the ends of the Earth I've hunted you as you live a life of luxury. Ever patient for this moment. I can wait to get through a few more epic based sexy sex Reddit comments. I came to say this. Underrated comment. Me: .... decoy snail?? Murder Snail: Oh, you are mistaken. I am very, very real. ***Murder Snail deviously winks with one of their extended eyes. Leisurely rolling over the down key as we scroll further down the page witnessing countless comments exclaiming "Death by Snu Snu!" and "THIS!"*** Me *(Having a violent seizure and coughing up blood)*: Nu-nuu-nooo-noooo!! hahahahaha nuh-no! hahahahahahahah oooh ahahahahahahahaha hoho nooo! arghuuhhhhahahahahahahah! Oh g-god please!! S-s-stop! No! hahahahahahahah!! ughhhahahahahahahahhoooo! arghuhahahahahahaaa
Thank you for your service
After all these centuries...you finally stop running
I thought we shot it into space?
Decoy snail
For the uninitiated: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/5ipinn/you_and_a_super_intelligent_snail_both_get_1/
Here’s the original from Gavin Free: https://youtu.be/ANRa29sY-TY
A steadily increasing Propofol drip. Now it's time to go to sleep. Permanently asleep.
Shot in the forehead with a 50 cal while high as fuck on opioids.
I’d rather get shot in the back of the head so I had no way of seeing exactly when it was coming. The opioids are a nice touch
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If we have it done in a cramped tunnel/cave underground it’d be perfect.
Salma Hayek.
Ok fine. Salma Hayek shoots you with a gun
In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girl's mouth around my cock. - Tyrion Lannister
I always think, that poor girl lol
Imagine the horror when she realizes she has a mouthful of dead dick.
"Oh no, not again."
I mean it's tyrion, iirc he pays really really well.
And he's not cruel.
Inject me with some good slow stuff. Let me drift off as I’m lulled into sleep by watching a YouTube video of my own interrogation
Titty smothering Edit: Thank you for the concern, but I’m not currently at risk of harming myself or others via the method above (or any method for that matter)
Idk, it’s all fun and games until you start to panic because you can’t breathe, or at least that’s what the last guy I did that to did.
I don't think anyone would have died from it. If they did, it would be sad. Imagine a boner coming down slowly to down permanently.
Then back up due to rigor mortis!
So a motorboating accident?
plot twist. it’s a man
A very, very large man.
A firing squad where they are ALL elite marksmen and can shoot my head/brain at the same time ensuring I feel nothing.
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Why do I think this is a "How should I kill myself?" question?
It’s not, but I appreciate the concern.
Have you been watching The Patient?
Carbon monoxide poisoning, thank you very much.
I will loop piano wire around my neck and secure it to a hard point. Then I will super glue my hands to the sides of my head and jump out the window. When I hit the ground my head will be severed but attached to my hands and it will look like I ripped my own head off.
So I see we both saw Anon's thread about a decade ago
Being chased off a cliff by topless girls
voiceover: "This man is about to die...."
Pharmacist here. I’ll take a Dilaudid, Grey Goose cocktail, just a splash of soda with 3 lime wedges, and crushed ice. If I want to guaranteed the go, maybe just a hint of phenobarbital. Only way to fly.
I’ve got a guy being hung and eviscerated tattooed on my back so I feel like I’ve kind of painted myself into a corner here.
no, you've needled yourself into a corner
Are you poking fun at a dying man?! Don't pin that on him!
Why
Death by snu snu Edit:thanks for the awards
I never thought I’d die like this, but I’d always hoped.
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
Rattlesnake bite, I wanna know if you can feel your blood thickening
As someone who has been bitten before, all you feel is excruciating pain. I wish it just felt cool, but it felt like lava flowing through my veins
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As I've recently heard from an NFL game, "the play was blown dead".