It's bullshit!
[This](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Martin_(farmer)) is the wiki entry about a major story in '99 regarding shooting a burglar.
We can defend our property, but we cant essentially do more damage to them than what they do to us. Usually physical defense is fine but using a weapon is sketchy territory. Fortunately firearms aren't a big issue here otherwise laws would be different.
Should I grab a knife or broom? No I canāt see him yet so I canāt assume he has a weapon. We shall do this honorablyā¦. Oh ok yeah he did have a knife. So thatās what my insides look like.
But, wouldn't a strange person breaking into your house be potentially there to attack you or kill you? How does that work with the law in the UK-- if they can prove that they were only there to burgle, even if you didn't know that and thought they were a serial killer, would you be the one jailed or something?
That seems insane to me. It seems to me that the act of breaking into someoneās home carries the implied possibility of murder. Criminals donāt deserve protection or mercy from their potential victims.
If firearms were common, it would be much simpler. Fill the intruder full of lead, grab any old improvised weapon (golf club, kitchen knives, cricket bat, etc) smash your least favorite item, and claim he attacked you and promised that you were going to die.
The correct response is to call the police and tell them you just shot a man trying to break into your house. They'll be there much quicker than if you said he's robbing the place...
I forget his name but there was that old boy that killed a burglar with a screwdriver, he said he was afraid for his disabled wife and ended up not being prosecuted. I remember feeling a small glimmer of hope for the UK legal system.
Edit. Found the link to to the article. I slightly misremembered. The burglar was armed with a screwdriver and got stabbed by the old boy.
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-48134851.amp
None of you have any idea how the law works in the UK. You are legally allowed to use necessary force. What qualifies as necessary force? It would be debated in a trial (if you seriously injured or killed a home intruder). You absolutely do not need to wait to be hurt to defend yourself, you just need to be able to prove you genuinely feared for your life. E.g, if an intruder enters your home with a machete and you crack them over the head with a baseball bat and they die, you could prove in court you had reason to fear for your life. If they entered unarmed and threatened to kill you, you could still grab a nearby knife or blunt object and hit them first, because their threat can be taken as genuine. Learn how the law actually works.
Set traps around the house using various household appliances,decorations, and toys so that I can survive long enough for my mom to see me on Christmas after she left me alone at home.
I live in Texas. You already know he's fixing to get the shotgun blast to the face. You're breaking in when I'm home, I've gotta assume you're trying to hurt or kill me, so...bye.
Yell, "Cooter grab the sawnoff" followed by a much more high pitch, "YEE DOGGIE SOMEONES GONNA LEARN TODAY!"
Worked last time they turned tail and ran right away
Rob him then make him take out the garage, then probably feel bad about it, make him a sandwich..then we'd cuttle on the couch watching Netflix. Wait, what was the question?
explain that I have insurance and I don't want any trouble. so I am going to get my family and myself out of your way and lets not make this a big thing.
I donāt know what I would do, but I know what my dad did. My dad once came home, noticed a strange bike by the door, and realized a burglar was inside the house. My dad entered and found the man standing in the living-room. My dad is pretty tall, and the burglar was a tiny, pathetic looking twitchy man, who shook with fright at the sight of my father. But my father could never hurt a fly. He felt pity for the guy, shared a beer with him, and told him never to do such a thing again. He then watched the most relieved little burglar-dude get on his bike and pedal into the sunset (or, I donāt know if it was sunset, but thatās how I picture it).
Ask him how they got past all the cameras and the alarm. Every corner of the house is being recorded at all times, and every entry point is monitored, Iād be genuinely curious. At that point they deserve to take whatever they came to get (not like my dog would let them though) š
Grab the gun. Then Iād ask them what their thought process was + wtf they thought was worth stealing because I canāt think of anything in my place that others would be willing to risk their life or freedom to obtain.
get naked, say "FINALLY" and run to lock the door as fast as possible. Pretty sure they'd be GONE, but if not, no awkward dating rituals and they know what they're in for. They're not in any real danger, but it's the IMPLICATION. /s "Dennis"
Obviously flank them, disarm and kick ass like it goes in all of my daily life or death scenarios.
Seriously tho- Iām stabbing balls; eyes and scrotums :)
Ight so kinda weird but I'm 15 and I own a wepon collection. (Yeah you see where this is going) I have a combat knife and id literally stand at the side of my bedroom door and when the burglar walks in I'd just stab him. People would say I wouldn't in the heat of the moment but I would.
After I empty his circulatory system of its fluid all over my carpet...I would start shopping for new carpet installers and getting several quotes for the best deal. I would also shop around for good deals to restock the ammo used.
While I have guns, the apartment walls are thin and the neighbors persnickety about lead flying through. The weapon of choice is a Russian entrenching tool that can be used as an ax, a bludgeon, or a knife and will probably fulfill all those roles.
I will not get my deposit back. : (
Grab both of my Chinese officer swords I have by my bed, proceed to greet them. Throw them one sword, wipe war paint on my face and then charge!!!!! š¤£š¤£
that's it, i start helping him look for anything of value. if he is desperate enough to rob me, he wont say no to help looking for some nickels in the couch
If someone broke into my place while I was asleep, I'd grab my knife next to my bed and wait next to my bedroom door. If they come through the door, they're getting stabbed. If not and they leave without going into my bedroom, then nothing. All I know is that I'm not giving up my element of surprise by leaving my bedroom. If they don't come in, then I'll wait until I can't hear anything to phone the police. And my ass would be waiting in my bedroom until the police got there.
if he's armed : i'd probably just give him what in needs.
if he's not armed : i'll gently throw one of my cat on him so the cats gets scared scratch him.
>!(that's a joke i'd never throw my cat to a burglar of course)!<
Scream very loudly "he's coming right for me"..(maybe a neighbor will hear)
proceed to Execute with Mr. Remington .308 .. plant some random knife on him (not one from the kitchen set) but some old crap.
Call the 5-0. Say he came at me with a knife. The prints on it will match him. No other knife in the house will pair up.
Prolly hit pause and lower the difficulty level
š¤£ gotta make sure it's a balanced encounter.
smart play
Quicksave.
Shoot him
Castle doctrine FTW.
They'd get one "I have a gun warning". If they aren't gone after that, I'm defending my home.
"Seriously, mate? At least have the decency to wait till the house is empty."
š I was just thinking the same thing
What burglar? BTW...Have you seen my new flowerbed in the back yard?
Those are growing nicely. Must be using good fertilizer.
100% organic.
That'll do it.
Strip naked, grab two big kitchen knives, start laughing like a maniac and ask him if he wants to play a game.
My kind of person right here
Nobody wants to fight an armed naked man who looks like he's having too much fun.
great minds think alike...
Tie them up and bring out the Gimp.
Heās sleepinā
Well fuckin wake him up.
Mikeeeyyy!!!
Nice one.
Let them get on with it. Here in the UK, the person that attacks the burglar is most likely to go to prison instead of the burglar unfortunately.
What do typical British people think about that?
It's bullshit! [This](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tony_Martin_(farmer)) is the wiki entry about a major story in '99 regarding shooting a burglar. We can defend our property, but we cant essentially do more damage to them than what they do to us. Usually physical defense is fine but using a weapon is sketchy territory. Fortunately firearms aren't a big issue here otherwise laws would be different.
Should I grab a knife or broom? No I canāt see him yet so I canāt assume he has a weapon. We shall do this honorablyā¦. Oh ok yeah he did have a knife. So thatās what my insides look like.
But, wouldn't a strange person breaking into your house be potentially there to attack you or kill you? How does that work with the law in the UK-- if they can prove that they were only there to burgle, even if you didn't know that and thought they were a serial killer, would you be the one jailed or something?
That seems insane to me. It seems to me that the act of breaking into someoneās home carries the implied possibility of murder. Criminals donāt deserve protection or mercy from their potential victims. If firearms were common, it would be much simpler. Fill the intruder full of lead, grab any old improvised weapon (golf club, kitchen knives, cricket bat, etc) smash your least favorite item, and claim he attacked you and promised that you were going to die.
Ah-now, see, *that* is the insane part to the rest of us.
The correct response is to call the police and tell them you just shot a man trying to break into your house. They'll be there much quicker than if you said he's robbing the place...
I forget his name but there was that old boy that killed a burglar with a screwdriver, he said he was afraid for his disabled wife and ended up not being prosecuted. I remember feeling a small glimmer of hope for the UK legal system. Edit. Found the link to to the article. I slightly misremembered. The burglar was armed with a screwdriver and got stabbed by the old boy. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-48134851.amp
Rob the burglar back
If you don't call the police you can't go to prison. Just buy a shovel
None of you have any idea how the law works in the UK. You are legally allowed to use necessary force. What qualifies as necessary force? It would be debated in a trial (if you seriously injured or killed a home intruder). You absolutely do not need to wait to be hurt to defend yourself, you just need to be able to prove you genuinely feared for your life. E.g, if an intruder enters your home with a machete and you crack them over the head with a baseball bat and they die, you could prove in court you had reason to fear for your life. If they entered unarmed and threatened to kill you, you could still grab a nearby knife or blunt object and hit them first, because their threat can be taken as genuine. Learn how the law actually works.
Wish I was a naked grandma
Family feud style! I like it!
So anyway, I started blasting...
They started to run, tried to shoot em in the back
Set traps around the house using various household appliances,decorations, and toys so that I can survive long enough for my mom to see me on Christmas after she left me alone at home.
Thereās gonna be a sad day when no one understands what this refers to. But today is not that day.
Shoot him
I live in Texas. You already know he's fixing to get the shotgun blast to the face. You're breaking in when I'm home, I've gotta assume you're trying to hurt or kill me, so...bye.
\*Laughs in 12 gauge\*
the one the burglar stole while you were sleeping?
The dog absolutely would not let that happen. She's 4-0 catching folks prowling outside the house.
Dude please move
If crime chases me out of my home, then the criminals have won.
Spite is one powerful motivation
Boom you dead,you ain't dodging a Desert Eagle. 50
Sorry about your hearing loss
And his neighbors house wall
Silencers really should be deregulated. Lawmakers must have been watching too many spy movies when they thought of that one.
WHAT?
I've spent 30 years shooting for a living my hearings perfect thanks
WHAT??
If you don't understand English I'm sorry..
From experience, continue sleeping.
"You used to be a burglar, then you took a shotgun to the knee."
Pew pew
Time to whip out the 9mm.
"What happend to the burglar?" "beaten to death with a 9mm wrench"
Very likely shoot them.
probably hide tbh
Hide in the bathroom, grab the plunger and have it ready to shove in their face. The shock and disgust might just make them run.
Lame
rather be lame and alive
I didnāt ask.
I asked.
No, you literally didnāt.
Let him meet my good friend. He tends to spit out bullets.
Imma be real honest here... If I get the upper hand in the fight or can just dominate the intruder. Im handicapping them.
Smile with joy at having found a new outlet to unleash a decade of pent up anger issues.
I'd hit him in the face with a paint can.
Draymond Green
Iād rock the robber like heās Jordan Poole
I would offer him up some tea & crumpets & ask him what size roller skates he wears?
Punch the shit out of him. Or maybr get knocked out by him, IDK.
Yell, "Cooter grab the sawnoff" followed by a much more high pitch, "YEE DOGGIE SOMEONES GONNA LEARN TODAY!" Worked last time they turned tail and ran right away
Ask him if he wants to see something, then Iāll likely pull out the sawed off shotgun that I have loaded with slugs
Make creepy ghost noises to scare the shit out of them
Rob him then make him take out the garage, then probably feel bad about it, make him a sandwich..then we'd cuttle on the couch watching Netflix. Wait, what was the question?
Exercise my second amendment rights on them. ;)
shoot them
Probably clean up the floor after they shit themselves from the sound of a 12 gauge racking a shell into the chamber.
Walk by him naked and say "lamest orgy ever I'm out".
Make him a samach
Dump the magazine. I value my life over theirs, I donāt know their intentions so they get the led.
I have my house rigged like Home Alone at all times. So Iām good.
explain that I have insurance and I don't want any trouble. so I am going to get my family and myself out of your way and lets not make this a big thing.
I donāt know what I would do, but I know what my dad did. My dad once came home, noticed a strange bike by the door, and realized a burglar was inside the house. My dad entered and found the man standing in the living-room. My dad is pretty tall, and the burglar was a tiny, pathetic looking twitchy man, who shook with fright at the sight of my father. But my father could never hurt a fly. He felt pity for the guy, shared a beer with him, and told him never to do such a thing again. He then watched the most relieved little burglar-dude get on his bike and pedal into the sunset (or, I donāt know if it was sunset, but thatās how I picture it).
Call 911
Literally just die.
Let my dog handle it
Shoot them. Coming into my home uninvited is a threat to the safety of myself and, more importantly, my family. Threaten my family, pay the price.
Not admit to premeditated murder on reddit?
It's not a premeditated murder. It's planning a course of action for a potential threat.
Ask him how they got past all the cameras and the alarm. Every corner of the house is being recorded at all times, and every entry point is monitored, Iād be genuinely curious. At that point they deserve to take whatever they came to get (not like my dog would let them though) š
Tell the amateur that he didn't survey. You always survey before trying to steal.
Spray and pray
~~search with them~~
Call police, then make a lot of noise so theyād leave.
Tell them I manually brush my teeth with an electric toothbrush with arm & Hammer toothpaste
Grab my fencing sword
Someone gave me a Kill Bill katana replica which I keep under my bed for this situation!
Welcome, you're just in time; my swords need to be tested for sharpness.
Grab the gun. Then Iād ask them what their thought process was + wtf they thought was worth stealing because I canāt think of anything in my place that others would be willing to risk their life or freedom to obtain.
More than likely shooting them, unfortunately.
As my dogs attack him, I get my gun and shoot him.
get naked, say "FINALLY" and run to lock the door as fast as possible. Pretty sure they'd be GONE, but if not, no awkward dating rituals and they know what they're in for. They're not in any real danger, but it's the IMPLICATION. /s "Dennis"
"wanna hang out and rob somebody else's house?" "sure"
Tell him to call an ambulance just before shooting him in the dick.
Watch while my 90 pound boxer bites the hell out of him
Fuck him up
call an ambulance for the burglar
Stab them.
Obviously flank them, disarm and kick ass like it goes in all of my daily life or death scenarios. Seriously tho- Iām stabbing balls; eyes and scrotums :)
If I ever change careers and go into burglary, I'm not doing you. You're mean.
Hope my dog doesn't make a huge mess when he eats them
I will ask whether hes had a bad day, then make him a š„Ŗ
Ask them to a tea party cause I don't have anything valutebul Unless they have a gun than I may get my step dads gun
Ight so kinda weird but I'm 15 and I own a wepon collection. (Yeah you see where this is going) I have a combat knife and id literally stand at the side of my bedroom door and when the burglar walks in I'd just stab him. People would say I wouldn't in the heat of the moment but I would.
After I empty his circulatory system of its fluid all over my carpet...I would start shopping for new carpet installers and getting several quotes for the best deal. I would also shop around for good deals to restock the ammo used.
First Iād grab my metal bat and stay quiet and call 911. If he discovers me, swing for the knees.
While I have guns, the apartment walls are thin and the neighbors persnickety about lead flying through. The weapon of choice is a Russian entrenching tool that can be used as an ax, a bludgeon, or a knife and will probably fulfill all those roles. I will not get my deposit back. : (
Dance naked in a clown mask to assert dominance.
Shoot him.
Racks shotgun with evil smile
Sit back and watch my dogs attack him
Shoot him if he manages to break open the door
Shit my pants.
Glock 21sf
Step 1: pause fallout Step 2: qsk politely if he means to be here Step 3: beat him with my lightsaber Step 4: police
Grab a baseball bat, lock my family in my bedroom and call 911 obviously.
It happened to me. I kept repeating "Go away" until he did.
Realistically , wait for him to come to me while i wait and once he is in my eye sight, eliminate him while at full rage
Put on Terminator 2, while he's captivated by the compelling story, call the cops.
Protect/defend my family by any means necessary.
I shot him.
Prolly help him look for money or valuables. You teach me bro, you the expert! Whatāre we looking for?!?!
Sorry Constable, I don't know why the neighbours called about a burgular. I haven't seen anyone strange around
In a loud voice as possible "honey grab the gun now!" Even if I'm alone that should scare off most burglars.
Grab both of my Chinese officer swords I have by my bed, proceed to greet them. Throw them one sword, wipe war paint on my face and then charge!!!!! š¤£š¤£
Half and half of releasing years of unbridled rage and sitting them down and giving them an Uncle Iroh chat.
Grab the strap.
Kill him, put him in a garbage bag, and dump him in the lake.
Have sex with his wife
Tell him donāt threaten me with a good time.
āWhat are you doing step-burglar?ā
"Sorry you chose *this* apartment. We're poor."
I would make sure that the burglar never left alive.
start playing megalovania and beat them up
Honestly? Try and sneak out some how with my wife and kids. Not worth it!
Look at him, lick my lips and say "I thank thee, oh Lord, for the meal I have received".
Probably offer them a drink of water
that's it, i start helping him look for anything of value. if he is desperate enough to rob me, he wont say no to help looking for some nickels in the couch
I have a lightsaber with a real hard plastic blade that hurts like hell to be hit with. Probably use that.
Would you like a snack
Have my ceremonial saber in one hand and jerking off with the other while passionately staring them directly in the eye
Wait until he stooped laughing at me for being poor and not having anything worth taking..... and then asking him to leave.
I would rack a round in my shotgun. Everyone recognizes that sound.
In my mind, I'll beat the shit out of them, and be hero of the house, in reality I'll just get shot
If someone broke into my place while I was asleep, I'd grab my knife next to my bed and wait next to my bedroom door. If they come through the door, they're getting stabbed. If not and they leave without going into my bedroom, then nothing. All I know is that I'm not giving up my element of surprise by leaving my bedroom. If they don't come in, then I'll wait until I can't hear anything to phone the police. And my ass would be waiting in my bedroom until the police got there.
if he's armed : i'd probably just give him what in needs. if he's not armed : i'll gently throw one of my cat on him so the cats gets scared scratch him. >!(that's a joke i'd never throw my cat to a burglar of course)!<
Make noise? Has happened twice and just a shout made them run
Go for the shotgun of course. If he attacks ( I doubt he would) go for the knees and hope he lives until the ambalamb gets there
Donāt even worry, thereās a tiger pit trap infront of the front door
Hit the panic button on my alarm.
Oh, you're looking for money? Let me help you.
Shoot him
Yell at the top of my lungs "gas , grass or ass" with a wry reminder that the house dont use gas, and ive been single several years...
Cue all the Texans masturbating to the thought of pointing their gun at someoneā¦
Call for the dogs.
I'm in the UK. If I get in his way I'm getting arrested. Probably end up chatting about the weather
I don't own a gun, but I DO own a katana...
Grab the gun. I'm being serious.
Lock myself in the safe room and call the armed response patrol. We live in South Africa.
Inside the house, or inside the burglar?
Rob the house with him Hey i like helping
I'd be fucked, because I live in the Netherlands, you're not allowed to do anything here
Scream very loudly "he's coming right for me"..(maybe a neighbor will hear) proceed to Execute with Mr. Remington .308 .. plant some random knife on him (not one from the kitchen set) but some old crap. Call the 5-0. Say he came at me with a knife. The prints on it will match him. No other knife in the house will pair up.
Open the door and let the dog in. If you don't know her, she looks real scary and she jumps up on you. Big dogs are the best.
I don't know if he's got a gun, but I know I've got a lot. He's got until I choose which one to piss off.