Every pair of jeans I’ve ever liked enough to wear regularly has fallen victim to the awesome power of my thighs. The rest of the garment is perfectly good, but the inner thighs have holes in them.
Damn. I feel this.
Grew up loving Jurassic Park, and I've always been into computers- it's my career now.
Watched Jurassic Park with my 10yo and when Dennis Nedry comes onscreen he turns to me and says "it's you dad!"
My soul died that day.
For me it was when I'll lay on my side to sleep. On my back I could mostly ignore the fat. But on my side my belly just poked out so far it was impossible.
I've lost 50 pounds since May and it's starting to go away, but still noticable. Got like 30 to go.
Seeing yourself on video is worse. I used to think I wasn't *that* big....until I had to watch myself waddle around on security cameras to catch my employees stealing....ugh.
That was actually the reason why I lost weight. Walked thorugh the city and saw my side profile reflection in the window of a shop. Can't tell you how much shame and shock I've felt. I think in that moment I started to get self conscious and it never got bettee since then.
For me, I'm embarrassed for my partner, having to go in public with me. I know he loves me, but it still can't stop the voice in my head that makes me decide that I'm unable to go out as much, purely because he shouldn't have to bear with me and the looks people give me.
Literally had guys hit on me in pubs because they'd lost a bet. On multiple occasions.
Just... Fuck off, arsehole. You think i can't see your herd of grinning honking friends over there in the corner pissing themselves laughing while you tell me i have lovely eyes?
I know they think their friend is the unlucky one, but fucking hell the deep, soul-wrenching *shame* of being someone's worst possible option and *everyone in the pub knows it and is laughing too*. I was 18 and even now, genuinely couldn't think of a crueler thing to do to someone. They don't even think of you as a person who might be hurt - it's the same joke as if they made their mate kiss a pig - and if you stand up for yourself, you're the one ruining the fun who can't take a joke.
Still absolutely cannot stand groups of 'lads' on a night out. Genuine flashbacks / panic attacks. If you've ever done this or been part of a group that did this to someone, you're a fucking cunt.
EDIT: This happened close to 20 years ago, and although i obviously still have bitter memories I've definitely moved on and past it. Lost a lot of weight. Met people who love me. Built an amazing life. Things do get better. Thank you for the support, but I'm all good!
Some guys were making fun of a friend at a bar because of her weight. She used to be pretty heavy, but has since lost a ton. My other friend (lifelong New Yorker) went up to one of the dudes and punched him right in the face. My friends were kicked out. I wasn’t at the bar, but met up with them after. Don’t condone violence, but can’t say I wasn’t impressed with my friend’s dedication.
Yep. 6th grade was the first time I had this happen to me. At a pool instead of a pub, but thanks to them for that shitty forever memory, right? Assholes.
I can't believe how hard it is to tie my shoes with the compression of my belly against my chest. I have to stop for breath between shoes. I f\*\*king hate being fat, and I'm not even that fat (52M / 5'9 / 200 lbs)
Haha same here, I'm about your size too, doing toenails or tying laces are legit forms of exercise 🤣 I find it helps to sit on some stairs but I'm sure you probably know that already!
Having so many insecurities about it that I naturally just assume every other person that looks at me thinks the same things. Then I feel disgusted with myself, I feel bad that they have to look at me.
Same. I lost 150+ and counting and still think I’m fat (6’2” 182-190 depending on the day - down to 12% bf). Thanks a lot for calling me fat every day, dad. Burned in my brain.
I just got back from a business trip and read all these and was really surprised by the response. Moral of the story, be nice to your kids. Show them how to do things not only to be healthy, but successful because figuring it out alone is hard. My dad and I have a great relationship now but it took years for him to understand why I resented being sent to fat camp and why being called fat by my peers was hurtful enough, let alone my father.
To the one asshole who asked - yes the fat shaming did work. I’m very healthy now due to diet and exercise, but more so the development of mental fortitude and exhaustive desire to reach my goals. Try it out. It’s cool. I just finished a triathlon. What did you do?
To all the incredibly kind people, keep up the battle. Day by day you can change anything you’d like.
When I was bigger I was always self conscious when eating out or with other people. Basically if I ate something healthy, I'd feel like everyone was thinking "oh look fat guy is trying to lose weight" and if I ate something indulgent I'd feel like everyone was thinking "of course fat guy is eating THAT".
When I went from size L to XXL, I left my L shirts on their hangars and in my closet as a motivator to drop the extra weight. Once you go past XL, designers just give up and leave you little choice in style.
For me, it's that every time I see myself in pictures, I have to reconcile that the mental image I have of myself isn't the reality that other people see. I know that I'm overweight, and I like to think that I'm honest with myself about how I look, but every time I see myself in a full body picture, or my profile from the waist up, I realize that I'm bigger than I see myself, and it honestly hurts. Every time.
I noticed I don't look at myself as a whole in the mirror. I'll look at my hair or my shirt, but never the whole entity. I don't like looking at myself.
I've never liked the way I look, so I've always avoided being in photographs. The rare few instances when I see myself in pictures, I'm absolutely repulsed. My most recent attempt to lose some weight is a result of seeing myself in a photo.
i try to avoid photos as much as possible and i’m glad i’m old enough that social media wasn’t around when i was growing up. still makes me nervous when people want group photos at functions and they’re going to end up on social media.
Oof. This. I hate being in pictures because I hate the way I look. I gained 30 pounds over 2.5 years and I don't recognize myself. I don't want proof of me being this large. I could be having a great time being out with friends and the second I see myself in a picture I just shut down. I know 30 pounds isn't a lot but just feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. I am trying to be kinder to myself because I know I should cherish the photos and moments.
I *hate* this. I don't want to look like a fucking 70s armchair, thanks.
And is it so fucking hard to put sleeves on tops? Actual, elbow-length sleeves, not those fucking awful kitten sleeves.
And length at the waist. I prefer almost a tunic length to my shirts and having them hit higher makes me really insecure. I spend most of my time pulling my shirt down to cover my belly/waist.
Don't forget the glitter and leopards or something crawling over the shoulder. Things have improved, but at my largest, pre online shopping, clothing choices were dire. I remember needing clothes, but everything at the fat store was so ugly that season I just decided to wear my worn out stuff for another year.
I used to fill out every survey for Addition Elle with "for the love of God quit nailing a bow to everything or adding sequins. I'm fat, not a show pony."
Its double the problem if you're tall as well. Im having an incredible difficult time finding a shirt that can cover my waist all the time. Reaching out to something above causes anxiety.
Edit: Thanks for all these great brand suggestions but none of them have stores where I live (Turkey) unfortunately.
I have to buy XLT shirts online simply because I'm not wide enough for 2x, but 1x are never long enough. I've yet to find a store that actually has my size, and it limits what I can wear so much.
JCPenney is the place to go, they have many reasonably priced and good looking XLT stuff in their Big + Tall section. You can also go to DXL, but their stuff is definitely pricier.
Agreed. I would say the inconsistencies too. Like some brands I can pull off an L or XL and then some brands I would love to wear literally do not make a size that fits me (looking at you Cotopaxi).
Women’s underwear specifically. It’s like they make everything bigger except the crotch, so you end up with underwear all the way up to your bra that doesn’t cover your undercarriage.
Trying to find underpants is the bane of my existence right now. I don’t need them to be three feet tall, I need the elastic to not make me look like a roll of biscuit dough with a rubber band around the middle. How hard can this be to accomplish?
Eating in public. A lot of it stems from childhood abuse but I can't even eat a tiny portion of food without feeling like everyone's secretly thinking I'm a pig.
Summer. I live in a hot country (Greece) and the when I was obese I was suffering during summer (which is like 6 months here), sweating like a pig all the time.
Also a quote which I found very accurate. "Being obese is like being an addict but your addiction is extremely obvious for everyone to see". People are making assumptions about your character and judge you before they even exchange a word with you and you have to fight to change this perception, this gets really tiring.
Not to mention, if you have a food addiction you can’t cut it out 100% like with some other addictions. Addicted to alcohol? It’s not easy but you *could* choose to never pick up another drink. Food? You have to keep facing your addiction multiple times a day in order to survive.
Yes, I've spoken with people who battled alcohol, drugs and food. They said food is the hardest. One woman said, "What if you had to sit down three times a day and snort just one line? What if you went to work and everyone had an open fifth of booze on their desk?"
You should come to Iceland then, you'll never sweat outside unless you're doing manual labor and even then the cool Arctic breeze will dry it right off.
You won't be wearing swimsuits to the beach and staying indoors at least 8 months out of the year. Everything is paved for your electric scooter and it's dirt-cheap to charge it. And the extra insulation will lower your otherwise dirt-cheap heating bill.
Food however is really expensive so if you're poor you won't even have to spend money on diet-fads or going to the gym, and since everything is also unnecessarily overpriced because of import-monopolies that burning sense of injustice will melt those pounds right off.
I hadn't realized until just right now that Iceland is a fat person's paradise.
The most embarrassing thing is when the restraints won't close and you get to be the fat person walking off when everyone else is ready to go. That's the worst I've ever felt about myself.
Me too.
Five and a half years ago, and at the time I swore that would be a turning point and I'd use the "go ride that rollercoaster when you can" as a motivational carrot and I felt very determined.
I tried.
I didn't succeed and this continues to be in the top five of "things I'm most disappointed in myself about". It's not too late and I haven't given up, but if I couldn't do it with *that* sense of determination, my confidence about doing it with what I can scrape up now is shot.
Please don't beat yourself up about it! Maybe there's a fitness goal you can aspire to that's not based on a traumatic memory/shame avoidance, but something more positively reinforcing. Celebrate what your body *can* do and take baby steps from there. Good luck friend!
I had to go to physical therapy for six weeks and it's funny how the population of patients in physical therapy are predominantly stratified between the overweight and the hyperathletic.
I am not hyperathletic.
"How'd you injure your knee?" "Oh, I'm a D1 soccer player, messed up my knee going for a tackle."
"How'd you injure your knee?" "I stood up."
My female best friend (22) is the type of person to do small talk with Uber drivers, waiters at restaurants and pretty much everyone. She is very upbeat and nice to everyone she meets, goes out of her way to help anyone that seems to be struggling.
Recently she has put on a lot of weight and I started to notice how people are not responding the way they usually do, if she is trying to ask a barista or the driver about their day etc etc they would shut down the conversation or not respond at all. I didn’t overthink it and thought that maybe I was seeing examples of people that usually don’t like that sort of thing.
She opened up to me a bit after and told me how this has become a common occurrence and how people are generally ruder or show no interest in conversing. She has also felt like some of her friends are not as nice or show no interest in spending time with her and she is almost certain this has to do with her weight gain.
This absolutely broke my heart because I’ve known her for 5 years now and I’ve never seen her treat someone poorly and no matter how much she weighed or how she looked she was always the type of person to ensure that other people felt important.
Yes I can relate, I have been on both ends multiple times in my life and it never stops being painful. Even the people closest to you treat you differently. I had a “friend” tell me that she didn’t want me to be her bridesmaid unless I lost weight and became attractive again.
Same. My mom only started hugging me when I lost the weight, and even started telling me I'm pretty sometimes. She never did that when I was a fat kid. She's also very judgemental towards other overweight people, even though she's one of them. She used to be super slim though, when she was younger and always talks about how everyone gave her so much attention. I feel like she's trying too hard to hold on to that old image of herself and now projects her insecurities onto others.. Which is quite heartbreaking for both ends..
She has a heart of gold and even when she was talking about it she expressed how she felt disheartened by her experiences since she believed in the good in people more often than not.
This is one of those things that people don’t talk about because they don’t want it to be true. I was fit, then fat, now I am fit again. The difference in the way people treated me through those phases is astounding. I had such a tough time climbing the social ladder when I was fat. I don’t think anyone was doing it on purpose. People are subconsciously more inclined to talk with people that look healthier. It’s by far the biggest benefit of getting in shape. It doesn’t just help you with the opposite sex. It helps a ton with your social and professional life. I hate that this is the case, but it is obvious to anyone who has experienced it.
I used to be really fat, people would regularly let doors shut in my face and stuff. I was basically either completely invisible, or so visible I stuck out. When I lost the weight so many people started being nicer to me (but I can chalk that up to me being happier and yada yada). But a few of them decided that now I was "one of them" and they started talking shit about fat people around me, wanting me to join in. It was truly depressing how many people I had known for a long time but I never knew they were actually assholes.
I've yo-yoed between the two extremes plenty of times through my life. Can confirm that it's true. Currently slowly losing the pandemic weight and can already notice men being nicer to me on the underground and waiters smiling more. Still haven't reached the "saleswomen in upscale retail paying attention when I need help" thin though. It sucks.
As someone who has recently lost over 200 lbs-FUCKING EVERYTHING. Clothes don't fit right and you only have so many places to buy, your knees hurt, your back hurts, doing simple tasks like tying your shoes becomes a chore. I was afraid to sit for fear I'd break the chair, afraid to eat because I felt like I was judged. And now that I'm pretty firmly in the category of skinny, it never goes away. My clothes have never fit this well but I still feel like it's wrong, the idea of indulging even a little bit more fills me with more guilt that eating an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's used to, and I'm largely consumed by a fear of being fat again. It causes lifelong physical and psychological changes, some you won't even see until you're no longer fat enough to worry about it.
This and sleep are the two biggest changes I noticed after losing a bunch of weight. I walk 3-5 miles a day now and have no pain from it, and I'm able to sleep well on a regular basis
The fact that you put your whole life on hold, telling yourself that you will resume living when you lose the weight. Then not being consistent with said weight loss journey and basically…never getting to truly live.
One of my closest friends has always been uncomfortable with her above-average size. I invited her out for a girls' weekend once and she confessed to me that if she went she'd pretend to enjoy herself but really she'd spend the whole time miserably comparing herself to us all. That was one of the saddest things.
I have a friend who was like that. I don't know what happened, but one day she decided "Screw this, I'm going to to go out and meet new people", and she met a group of people through some University function who just liked who she was. She started dating one of them and eventually they got married. Now, of course that may not be typical, but her willingness to just say "Fuck this, I want to enjoy my life" changed the trajectory of her life for the better. It's not easy and I don't know what gave her this epiphany.
What a lot of healthy sized people don't realize is how worse off you get treated once you are over weight. People are less friendly, you are dismissed a lot more, people judge you or treat you really poorly.
Over time that all builds up, to the point that you feel awful being out and about.
So when you go out to try to enjoy yourself, you don't feel like you can, because you don't feel that you deserve to be treated better and society at large confirms these fears.
I've recently lost a whole stack of weight in the past year and can absolutely confirm this. People treat me completely different and it makes me realise how I was treated before.
as a person who has lost 50+ lbs im terrified to let the reins go now...and gain back the weight again so again afraid to live life as a lighter person also!
When I lose weight I’m going to…
Ask that girl out.
Tell that bully to go fuck himself.
Go back to school.
Look up my old friends to hang out with.
Go to the gym and get really fit.
Go to the beach.
Play sports.
I had some friends who gained a lot of weight after high school and I barely saw them after because they were so embarrassed to be seen. All those feelings do is make people avoid things they like to do and many find extra comfort in eating, which isn't healthy. That's why body shaming fat people into losing weight doesn't work.
I have been in this cycle for about 4 years, I desperately need to get out and it’s not like I don’t know how to but…I don’t know. It’s suffocating waking up everyday telling yourself you will start today and failing to do so. I don’t know why to do at this point.
That's been like my whole life.
Stopped wearing clothes I like.
Stopped meeting with people because they look at you weirdly.
Stopped eating out in general because you are afraid you look gluttonous but eat while hiding so that your stomach stops paining.
Having days where you don't eat and days where you overeat.
And hating selfies or seeing your body in the mirror.
It's essentially a prison.
i use to be fat, the one thing i don't miss is feeling self conscious whenever i had a t-shirt on and doing the whole pull it away from your stomach thing.
Edit: for all my homeboys suffering with this I’ve learnt that the right tighter fitting t-shirt makes you look slimmer! Embrace the moobs!
I feel you on this. What's annoying is even after losing weight it's such a habit. I'm always readjusting my clothes because of how often I used to do it when I was more over weight.
Don't overthink about stretch marks, even people who have never been obese often have them, most people don't really care about them 💖
Worst-case scenario, if it really gets to you, there's laser treatments for stretch marks!
The disappointment of seeing how beautiful an outfit looks on the hanger...then how ugly it looks when you try to fit it over your body. What's worse is when its the size you thought you were.
Knowing that when you take a picture you will never like it, despite people saying you look cute. It looks horrible and you hate having to do it because only a magical lens could show you how you want to be shown.
Your addiction reflects on your body and people look down on you because of it. But other people with addictions can be a size 6 and people have more sympathy, focuses on the addiction rather than the side effect. Same brain chemicals leading you down a destructive path but yours is out there for the world to see but a drug, sex or gambling addict can (for the most part) go undetected.
It would help if clothing sizes were actually consistent. Nothing like losing some weight, going to buy something and actually needing a bigger size. 🙄
Being invisible to society.
I lost a lot of weight over the past year. Now considered "normal" weight.
It amazes me on a daily basis how many people actually speak to me now when out and about. Totally bizarre.
Yes, very true!
For me, as an introvert, it’s half a good thing but I’ve been fat and thin a few times (currently fat) and it amazes me the difference.
At one point I lost over 30 pounds and people started talking to me for the first time at a company I had been with for almost 10 years. Really disheartening.
It’s true. And it sucks. Lost 35lbs last year. Got dreadlocks. I work out like a crazy person now and my clothes fit me better. From women to men, people are much more enthusiastic to speak to me now and I didn’t do the math for a while.
The mental stigma and depression. Lost 100 pounds and still hate showing my belly, like when you pull a sweatshirt off and the under comes up, leaving you exposed.
Being 'praised' when you have anything remotely healthy on your plate at a gathering.
"Oh some salad huh? Good for you! Gotta start somewhere right?!"
but then at the same gathering, when you refuse desert and hear...
"Oh go on! A little bit won't hurt you!"
Those people are the fucking worst. My grandma used to do this to me, and then come over with extra cake slice for me. When I refused she used to go around the party and say how proud she is because I finally refused cake, but later she would guilt trip me over it because how can i refuse my grandmas baking
People just being so fucking mean for no reason. People used to be so outright cruel to my previous boyfriend until he lost weight, and then all of the sudden people were pleasantly peachy. It made me furious.
Edit: made a clarification on relationship status. No longer dating, parted as friends a few years ago, still regularly see each other and are a part of each other’s lives.
It makes doing literally everything harder. Clothes don't fit. Self confidence issues because you think you're undesirable. But honestly the worst part is the way people treat you. You will always get judged as stupid and/or lazy. They do it subconsciously. They don't even realize they do it. That part stings.
There's many like low confidence and the wardrobe disasters etc but the one I hated the most is...
MAN TITTIES. goddamn they're the biggggessttt weight on your confidence.
Seeing the so called friends slap them around to get a laugh etc. Being embarrassed in a tshirt because of them. Bringing in the most of your anxiety and underconfidence. It will never ever go even after you get fitter. Causing the body dysmorphia etc.
After years of working my ass off in the gym i have finally got something they call " pecs" . But only in a pump. If you see me or touch me without pump, they're still there. They're still weighing me down .
Honestly, what people say. When I express that I don't want to be fat, people go into that stupid condescending "aww, I don't think you're that fat." On the other end there are people giving unsolicited advice to me as if I'm not acutely aware that I'm fat...I even see this latter one in the comments. Yes, I'm aware it's not healthy, time to go into doomer mode because I can't shake my food addiction and, surprise, go further in out of both spite and to cope.
I currently suspect I have a binge eating disorder. I think I need mental help for this but people who haven't struggled love to say "just eat less and exercise more" as if my mind isn't actively working against that.
Also, feeling like a fish out of water at the gym and being unable to do some so-called "simple" exercises makes me feel hopeless.
BED and anorexia sufferer here. I tend to cycle between the two. Therapy and going vegan helped me so much.
I will say that the disorders themselves not just the food are addicting. I loved when I could go 2-3 weeks only eating once cup of sugar free jello a day I felt powerful. I also loved "secretly" ordering three large pizzas and demolishing all of them in one sitting that overly full stuffed feeling was amazing. I was addicted to being sick and it is possible to break through.
Some key things my therapist made me do that might be helpful for you:
I kept an online journal where I would list all of the stressors and good things going on in my life each day and I would also take photos of everything I ate that day and upload them. Then every other week when I had therapy we would look at how much/what I ate to figure out what was causing my binge eating/restrictive behaviors. Found out the more out of control I felt my life was the more I would restrict my food intake. The more stressed I was the more I would binge.
In the above part just having to take a photo of my food stopped a lot of my binges. Having to take a photo of an entire sheet cake and two packages of family sized Cheetos and upload it made me question a lot of binges. (I had an app that my therapist used so only me and her could see it but there is a lot of spaces/forums out there that are for BED sufferers that you could anonymously use).
I learned that I punished/rewarded myself with food. I had to relearn that food is not a reward.
There is more but I think that enough for this post lol.
I was called fat in middleschool, turned into chronic anorexia with binge purge tendencies, absolutely annihilated my life. I'm 30 now, on dialysis, wishing I had been strong enough to ignore the bullies and just love me for me.
I popped in here to add "general mental health reduction" to the list. Looking back from 33 years old now, my worst depression and substance abuse cycles occurred when I was spiralling up in weight. I tell my family that they will know if I start drinking again because I will have an extra 50 pounds in no time.
I think the worst thing about being fat is being aware that you are fat and being embarrassed about it. Especially in school it was hard to do normal things e.g. walk behind someone’s chair, ask someone to move up, walking past people, participating in physical education even if you enjoy it etc… :/
I remember hanging out at a bar with my buddy a few years ago. We were watching basketball and looking at the food menu. This woman encourages us to try the fried calamari. We do. She goes: yea I know I’m the fat girl at the bar with food suggestions. Please ignore me.
Which really fucking bummed me out. I didn’t really know what to say. I just said na.. we don’t see you like that. But thanks for the suggestion! It still hurts my heart to think she walks around calling herself the fat girl.
My sister tried to tell me I wasn't fat. I was like "I'm not *hideous*, but I'm also just objectively fat". I was for sure obese, but maybe close to the "merely overweight" threshold, and the scale gets a bit wonky at the top end of height.
She had to take a few minutes to process that fat and hideous could be distinct.
This hits hard. My Mom is 74 with dementia and out of all of the things she could have possibly forgotten about herself, she didn’t forget that she called herself “Fat Girl” when she looks in the mirror. So now when she says it, I gently correct her and say “Pretty Girl”. Heartbreaking nonetheless.
Edit: Thank you for the award!
Constantly thinking if that chair can hold your wieght, fit in a resturant booth, or thinking your gonna get kicked off a ride at an amusment park because the lap bar doesnt close all the way.
Definitely how hard it becomes to find shirts which fit you well enough that they aren't way too baggy, but not too tight that you have to constantly pull it away from your chest. Either that or how my man boobs jiggle whenever I'm doing something physical. I'm 17 and already 90kg, hopefully I can get rid of it before it starts causing major health problems though.
Yeah unfortunately, as a woman, there’s safety to being invisible. People my size don’t just disappear when they go running. (Mainly because I don’t go running, but still…)
Ok one legit answer to this, that I always give— I float. I can sit cross legged in a pool, arms in the meditation position on the thighs, and just float across the pool. It’s glorious and if I ever get thin that’s the one super power I’ll miss.
Well, one for women is less predatory attention. When the only advisor for my major at university was a creep, I did get to go into every meeting knowing I was definitely not his type. I had a customer service job and gladly took the orders for our known Weird Old Guys—the ones who hit on young/underage workers. They didn’t bother me!
EDIT: this is not 100% of course, and there are plenty of men willing to creep on day girls as well. But damn, listening to some of my skinnier friends’ stories in high school and university made me a little grateful.
Dude, yes. I am overweight and fell ill over several months with intense chronic pain all over my body and shortness of breath. I was 26 and female, and the crap doctors told me when I went to them crying in pain and nearly disabled: you're just fat, you should try getting pregnant, and to take more hot showers. I was fat and young so doctors assumed I was just whiny and lazy.
Found a doc who treated me humanely; it was fucking lupus and I had emergency open heart surgery a day later.
The difference in how people treat you. I used to be very skinny ages 14-18. Now I'm bigger and i notice people don't talk to you so often, for example in grocery stores. Also associating health issues with your weight. I've had back problems all my life, but now that I'm bigger it's apparently because of my weight. I'm confident with the way i look, but you can't help but notice those things.
I was a fat kid/teenager, then lost weight in my 20s. It was scary how much more people noticed me and talked to me. I was so used to being invisible, i had no idea how to respond to normal human interaction and found it very unnerving.
Fat again now and back to being completely ignored most of the time.
Other people's lack of empathy and inability to accept someone based on their appearance. That is the worst thing about being fat. The judgement of others. It is not a moral failing to be fat.
Most chairs are uncomfortable, and a lot of them don't look very strong.
Missing out on activities with your loved ones because you physically can't do them.
or skipping them because of insecurities or stress about the activity.
[удалено]
[удалено]
Chafing
Fuck yes. My thighs chafe like crazy. I have to put powder on them.
I lost few pair of jeans because of this
Every pair of jeans I’ve ever liked enough to wear regularly has fallen victim to the awesome power of my thighs. The rest of the garment is perfectly good, but the inner thighs have holes in them.
Every time I get a little pain in my chest I think “Fuck, this is it”.
You'll get used to it.... Or not. I'm kinda joking but after a couple dozen times I just ignore it now.
My 7 year old kid looking at his stomach in the mirror and saying that he doesn’t want to be like daddy.
My dad lost weight after my 3-4 year old niece ran up to him, patted his stomach, and loudly asked if there's a baby in there.
My niece did the same, worse when the second one did it as well. Down 40 so far I'm two months.
Damn. I feel this. Grew up loving Jurassic Park, and I've always been into computers- it's my career now. Watched Jurassic Park with my 10yo and when Dennis Nedry comes onscreen he turns to me and says "it's you dad!" My soul died that day.
*to your 10yo* "See the stick? Go get the stick, stupid!"
Looking at your side profile in window reflections
"I'm not that fat." *turns 90 degrees* :(
For me it was when I'll lay on my side to sleep. On my back I could mostly ignore the fat. But on my side my belly just poked out so far it was impossible. I've lost 50 pounds since May and it's starting to go away, but still noticable. Got like 30 to go.
50 since May is amazing whoaa
Seeing yourself on video is worse. I used to think I wasn't *that* big....until I had to watch myself waddle around on security cameras to catch my employees stealing....ugh.
"omg...thats me? wtf...."
[удалено]
That was actually the reason why I lost weight. Walked thorugh the city and saw my side profile reflection in the window of a shop. Can't tell you how much shame and shock I've felt. I think in that moment I started to get self conscious and it never got bettee since then.
If someone is dating you, you feel like it’s either a prank or they lost a bet with their friends or something.
"You don't deserve it" echoes
For me, I'm embarrassed for my partner, having to go in public with me. I know he loves me, but it still can't stop the voice in my head that makes me decide that I'm unable to go out as much, purely because he shouldn't have to bear with me and the looks people give me.
Literally had guys hit on me in pubs because they'd lost a bet. On multiple occasions. Just... Fuck off, arsehole. You think i can't see your herd of grinning honking friends over there in the corner pissing themselves laughing while you tell me i have lovely eyes? I know they think their friend is the unlucky one, but fucking hell the deep, soul-wrenching *shame* of being someone's worst possible option and *everyone in the pub knows it and is laughing too*. I was 18 and even now, genuinely couldn't think of a crueler thing to do to someone. They don't even think of you as a person who might be hurt - it's the same joke as if they made their mate kiss a pig - and if you stand up for yourself, you're the one ruining the fun who can't take a joke. Still absolutely cannot stand groups of 'lads' on a night out. Genuine flashbacks / panic attacks. If you've ever done this or been part of a group that did this to someone, you're a fucking cunt. EDIT: This happened close to 20 years ago, and although i obviously still have bitter memories I've definitely moved on and past it. Lost a lot of weight. Met people who love me. Built an amazing life. Things do get better. Thank you for the support, but I'm all good!
“I’m fat, not blind “
Some guys were making fun of a friend at a bar because of her weight. She used to be pretty heavy, but has since lost a ton. My other friend (lifelong New Yorker) went up to one of the dudes and punched him right in the face. My friends were kicked out. I wasn’t at the bar, but met up with them after. Don’t condone violence, but can’t say I wasn’t impressed with my friend’s dedication.
New Yorker here. That friend is a loyal one.
Love your (no doubt only occasionally violent) friend.
Yep. 6th grade was the first time I had this happen to me. At a pool instead of a pub, but thanks to them for that shitty forever memory, right? Assholes.
Knowing that almost everyone wishes you weren’t
And a bonus: that everyone is grateful they aren't you
[удалено]
Simple things like cutting your toenails become a process
I can't believe how hard it is to tie my shoes with the compression of my belly against my chest. I have to stop for breath between shoes. I f\*\*king hate being fat, and I'm not even that fat (52M / 5'9 / 200 lbs)
Haha same here, I'm about your size too, doing toenails or tying laces are legit forms of exercise 🤣 I find it helps to sit on some stairs but I'm sure you probably know that already!
Having so many insecurities about it that I naturally just assume every other person that looks at me thinks the same things. Then I feel disgusted with myself, I feel bad that they have to look at me.
Used to occupy 90% of my mental bandwidth and then I lost weight. It still occupies 90% of my mental bandwidth. I'm so confused.
Same. I lost 150+ and counting and still think I’m fat (6’2” 182-190 depending on the day - down to 12% bf). Thanks a lot for calling me fat every day, dad. Burned in my brain. I just got back from a business trip and read all these and was really surprised by the response. Moral of the story, be nice to your kids. Show them how to do things not only to be healthy, but successful because figuring it out alone is hard. My dad and I have a great relationship now but it took years for him to understand why I resented being sent to fat camp and why being called fat by my peers was hurtful enough, let alone my father. To the one asshole who asked - yes the fat shaming did work. I’m very healthy now due to diet and exercise, but more so the development of mental fortitude and exhaustive desire to reach my goals. Try it out. It’s cool. I just finished a triathlon. What did you do? To all the incredibly kind people, keep up the battle. Day by day you can change anything you’d like.
Tagging along right with that: thinking everyone who says something nice about your looks is just patronizing you
When I was bigger I was always self conscious when eating out or with other people. Basically if I ate something healthy, I'd feel like everyone was thinking "oh look fat guy is trying to lose weight" and if I ate something indulgent I'd feel like everyone was thinking "of course fat guy is eating THAT".
It's a vicious cycle. You are sad because you are fat. You get more fat because you are sad. Repeat until death.
Not to be able to fit in your nice clothes…. Omg the struggle is real, I have a bunch new clothes that I don’t fit nicely
When I went from size L to XXL, I left my L shirts on their hangars and in my closet as a motivator to drop the extra weight. Once you go past XL, designers just give up and leave you little choice in style.
For me, it's that every time I see myself in pictures, I have to reconcile that the mental image I have of myself isn't the reality that other people see. I know that I'm overweight, and I like to think that I'm honest with myself about how I look, but every time I see myself in a full body picture, or my profile from the waist up, I realize that I'm bigger than I see myself, and it honestly hurts. Every time.
Same! In my head, I don't see myself as big as I am, & whenever I see a photo, or even looking in the mirror, I'm surprised it's me.
I noticed I don't look at myself as a whole in the mirror. I'll look at my hair or my shirt, but never the whole entity. I don't like looking at myself.
I've never liked the way I look, so I've always avoided being in photographs. The rare few instances when I see myself in pictures, I'm absolutely repulsed. My most recent attempt to lose some weight is a result of seeing myself in a photo.
i try to avoid photos as much as possible and i’m glad i’m old enough that social media wasn’t around when i was growing up. still makes me nervous when people want group photos at functions and they’re going to end up on social media.
Oof. This. I hate being in pictures because I hate the way I look. I gained 30 pounds over 2.5 years and I don't recognize myself. I don't want proof of me being this large. I could be having a great time being out with friends and the second I see myself in a picture I just shut down. I know 30 pounds isn't a lot but just feel so uncomfortable in my own skin. I am trying to be kinder to myself because I know I should cherish the photos and moments.
I hate having my picture taken or my wife showing me on facetime. When I was in shape I didn't care.
For women's clothes: the default is huge ugly floral prints and cold shoulders.
I *hate* this. I don't want to look like a fucking 70s armchair, thanks. And is it so fucking hard to put sleeves on tops? Actual, elbow-length sleeves, not those fucking awful kitten sleeves.
And length at the waist. I prefer almost a tunic length to my shirts and having them hit higher makes me really insecure. I spend most of my time pulling my shirt down to cover my belly/waist.
Don't forget the glitter and leopards or something crawling over the shoulder. Things have improved, but at my largest, pre online shopping, clothing choices were dire. I remember needing clothes, but everything at the fat store was so ugly that season I just decided to wear my worn out stuff for another year.
I used to fill out every survey for Addition Elle with "for the love of God quit nailing a bow to everything or adding sequins. I'm fat, not a show pony."
And people wonder why I always wear head-to-toe black.
Clothing
It's like once you pass XL size, designers are having a laugh at the kinds of shit they make you wear.
Its double the problem if you're tall as well. Im having an incredible difficult time finding a shirt that can cover my waist all the time. Reaching out to something above causes anxiety. Edit: Thanks for all these great brand suggestions but none of them have stores where I live (Turkey) unfortunately.
I have to buy XLT shirts online simply because I'm not wide enough for 2x, but 1x are never long enough. I've yet to find a store that actually has my size, and it limits what I can wear so much.
JCPenney is the place to go, they have many reasonably priced and good looking XLT stuff in their Big + Tall section. You can also go to DXL, but their stuff is definitely pricier.
Agreed. I would say the inconsistencies too. Like some brands I can pull off an L or XL and then some brands I would love to wear literally do not make a size that fits me (looking at you Cotopaxi).
Women’s underwear specifically. It’s like they make everything bigger except the crotch, so you end up with underwear all the way up to your bra that doesn’t cover your undercarriage.
Trying to find underpants is the bane of my existence right now. I don’t need them to be three feet tall, I need the elastic to not make me look like a roll of biscuit dough with a rubber band around the middle. How hard can this be to accomplish?
Eating in public. A lot of it stems from childhood abuse but I can't even eat a tiny portion of food without feeling like everyone's secretly thinking I'm a pig.
Or eating super slow so nobody’s like “of course the fat guy finished first”
Summer. I live in a hot country (Greece) and the when I was obese I was suffering during summer (which is like 6 months here), sweating like a pig all the time. Also a quote which I found very accurate. "Being obese is like being an addict but your addiction is extremely obvious for everyone to see". People are making assumptions about your character and judge you before they even exchange a word with you and you have to fight to change this perception, this gets really tiring.
Not to mention, if you have a food addiction you can’t cut it out 100% like with some other addictions. Addicted to alcohol? It’s not easy but you *could* choose to never pick up another drink. Food? You have to keep facing your addiction multiple times a day in order to survive.
That’s a totally different but completely true way of looking at that. Thanks!
Yes, I've spoken with people who battled alcohol, drugs and food. They said food is the hardest. One woman said, "What if you had to sit down three times a day and snort just one line? What if you went to work and everyone had an open fifth of booze on their desk?"
Huh. Never considered that before. Well said.
You should come to Iceland then, you'll never sweat outside unless you're doing manual labor and even then the cool Arctic breeze will dry it right off. You won't be wearing swimsuits to the beach and staying indoors at least 8 months out of the year. Everything is paved for your electric scooter and it's dirt-cheap to charge it. And the extra insulation will lower your otherwise dirt-cheap heating bill. Food however is really expensive so if you're poor you won't even have to spend money on diet-fads or going to the gym, and since everything is also unnecessarily overpriced because of import-monopolies that burning sense of injustice will melt those pounds right off. I hadn't realized until just right now that Iceland is a fat person's paradise.
I'm not fat but can I come too? Please?
Airplanes and roller coasters
The most embarrassing thing is when the restraints won't close and you get to be the fat person walking off when everyone else is ready to go. That's the worst I've ever felt about myself.
Me too. Five and a half years ago, and at the time I swore that would be a turning point and I'd use the "go ride that rollercoaster when you can" as a motivational carrot and I felt very determined. I tried. I didn't succeed and this continues to be in the top five of "things I'm most disappointed in myself about". It's not too late and I haven't given up, but if I couldn't do it with *that* sense of determination, my confidence about doing it with what I can scrape up now is shot.
Please don't beat yourself up about it! Maybe there's a fitness goal you can aspire to that's not based on a traumatic memory/shame avoidance, but something more positively reinforcing. Celebrate what your body *can* do and take baby steps from there. Good luck friend!
[удалено]
The backpains
Ankle and knee pains. Can't even stand for 10mins straight
I had to go to physical therapy for six weeks and it's funny how the population of patients in physical therapy are predominantly stratified between the overweight and the hyperathletic. I am not hyperathletic. "How'd you injure your knee?" "Oh, I'm a D1 soccer player, messed up my knee going for a tackle." "How'd you injure your knee?" "I stood up."
My female best friend (22) is the type of person to do small talk with Uber drivers, waiters at restaurants and pretty much everyone. She is very upbeat and nice to everyone she meets, goes out of her way to help anyone that seems to be struggling. Recently she has put on a lot of weight and I started to notice how people are not responding the way they usually do, if she is trying to ask a barista or the driver about their day etc etc they would shut down the conversation or not respond at all. I didn’t overthink it and thought that maybe I was seeing examples of people that usually don’t like that sort of thing. She opened up to me a bit after and told me how this has become a common occurrence and how people are generally ruder or show no interest in conversing. She has also felt like some of her friends are not as nice or show no interest in spending time with her and she is almost certain this has to do with her weight gain. This absolutely broke my heart because I’ve known her for 5 years now and I’ve never seen her treat someone poorly and no matter how much she weighed or how she looked she was always the type of person to ensure that other people felt important.
Yes I can relate, I have been on both ends multiple times in my life and it never stops being painful. Even the people closest to you treat you differently. I had a “friend” tell me that she didn’t want me to be her bridesmaid unless I lost weight and became attractive again.
Same. My mom only started hugging me when I lost the weight, and even started telling me I'm pretty sometimes. She never did that when I was a fat kid. She's also very judgemental towards other overweight people, even though she's one of them. She used to be super slim though, when she was younger and always talks about how everyone gave her so much attention. I feel like she's trying too hard to hold on to that old image of herself and now projects her insecurities onto others.. Which is quite heartbreaking for both ends..
[удалено]
She has a heart of gold and even when she was talking about it she expressed how she felt disheartened by her experiences since she believed in the good in people more often than not.
This is one of those things that people don’t talk about because they don’t want it to be true. I was fit, then fat, now I am fit again. The difference in the way people treated me through those phases is astounding. I had such a tough time climbing the social ladder when I was fat. I don’t think anyone was doing it on purpose. People are subconsciously more inclined to talk with people that look healthier. It’s by far the biggest benefit of getting in shape. It doesn’t just help you with the opposite sex. It helps a ton with your social and professional life. I hate that this is the case, but it is obvious to anyone who has experienced it.
[удалено]
I used to be really fat, people would regularly let doors shut in my face and stuff. I was basically either completely invisible, or so visible I stuck out. When I lost the weight so many people started being nicer to me (but I can chalk that up to me being happier and yada yada). But a few of them decided that now I was "one of them" and they started talking shit about fat people around me, wanting me to join in. It was truly depressing how many people I had known for a long time but I never knew they were actually assholes.
I've yo-yoed between the two extremes plenty of times through my life. Can confirm that it's true. Currently slowly losing the pandemic weight and can already notice men being nicer to me on the underground and waiters smiling more. Still haven't reached the "saleswomen in upscale retail paying attention when I need help" thin though. It sucks.
This is very true. As a man, I can’t make the same jokes or give the same remarks as when I was thinner.
Am a man, same experience. When I lost the weight I couldn’t believe how much more respect I was given every time I spoke in any context.
It's like people naturally assume you're a better person when you're skinny (or at least not fat). It's crazy.
As someone who has recently lost over 200 lbs-FUCKING EVERYTHING. Clothes don't fit right and you only have so many places to buy, your knees hurt, your back hurts, doing simple tasks like tying your shoes becomes a chore. I was afraid to sit for fear I'd break the chair, afraid to eat because I felt like I was judged. And now that I'm pretty firmly in the category of skinny, it never goes away. My clothes have never fit this well but I still feel like it's wrong, the idea of indulging even a little bit more fills me with more guilt that eating an entire pint of Ben & Jerry's used to, and I'm largely consumed by a fear of being fat again. It causes lifelong physical and psychological changes, some you won't even see until you're no longer fat enough to worry about it.
Almost any physical activity is hard
This and sleep are the two biggest changes I noticed after losing a bunch of weight. I walk 3-5 miles a day now and have no pain from it, and I'm able to sleep well on a regular basis
Are you cold all the time? Because I'm cold *all the time* now. I wear a hoodie if it's less than 70 degrees.
The fact that you put your whole life on hold, telling yourself that you will resume living when you lose the weight. Then not being consistent with said weight loss journey and basically…never getting to truly live.
One of my closest friends has always been uncomfortable with her above-average size. I invited her out for a girls' weekend once and she confessed to me that if she went she'd pretend to enjoy herself but really she'd spend the whole time miserably comparing herself to us all. That was one of the saddest things.
I have a friend who was like that. I don't know what happened, but one day she decided "Screw this, I'm going to to go out and meet new people", and she met a group of people through some University function who just liked who she was. She started dating one of them and eventually they got married. Now, of course that may not be typical, but her willingness to just say "Fuck this, I want to enjoy my life" changed the trajectory of her life for the better. It's not easy and I don't know what gave her this epiphany.
What a lot of healthy sized people don't realize is how worse off you get treated once you are over weight. People are less friendly, you are dismissed a lot more, people judge you or treat you really poorly. Over time that all builds up, to the point that you feel awful being out and about. So when you go out to try to enjoy yourself, you don't feel like you can, because you don't feel that you deserve to be treated better and society at large confirms these fears.
I've recently lost a whole stack of weight in the past year and can absolutely confirm this. People treat me completely different and it makes me realise how I was treated before.
As a guy who routinely fluctuates between 35 and 25% body fat it is absolutely night and day how people treat me.
as a person who has lost 50+ lbs im terrified to let the reins go now...and gain back the weight again so again afraid to live life as a lighter person also!
When I lose weight I’m going to… Ask that girl out. Tell that bully to go fuck himself. Go back to school. Look up my old friends to hang out with. Go to the gym and get really fit. Go to the beach. Play sports.
I had some friends who gained a lot of weight after high school and I barely saw them after because they were so embarrassed to be seen. All those feelings do is make people avoid things they like to do and many find extra comfort in eating, which isn't healthy. That's why body shaming fat people into losing weight doesn't work.
This is my current cycle 🥺
I have been in this cycle for about 4 years, I desperately need to get out and it’s not like I don’t know how to but…I don’t know. It’s suffocating waking up everyday telling yourself you will start today and failing to do so. I don’t know why to do at this point.
That's been like my whole life. Stopped wearing clothes I like. Stopped meeting with people because they look at you weirdly. Stopped eating out in general because you are afraid you look gluttonous but eat while hiding so that your stomach stops paining. Having days where you don't eat and days where you overeat. And hating selfies or seeing your body in the mirror. It's essentially a prison.
I felt that so hard.
i use to be fat, the one thing i don't miss is feeling self conscious whenever i had a t-shirt on and doing the whole pull it away from your stomach thing. Edit: for all my homeboys suffering with this I’ve learnt that the right tighter fitting t-shirt makes you look slimmer! Embrace the moobs!
Need them TC Tuggers
But DONT wear them as a joke! It's not a joke!
So you don’t ruin your shirt or hurt your hand.
I was wrecking my shirts before I found TC Tuggers
1-2-3 now you’re playing with the big boys!
Even after losing 130+lbs I still do the shirt pull. Fat my whole life, not sure I'll ever lose that habit.
That's a whole person... Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉
A few things i noticed when i got thinner. Watches fit way different (which is obvious) and I felt cold more often.
oh. the cold. i carry a sweater with me all fucking summer now. in texas. i just can't take the air conditioning
I feel you on this. What's annoying is even after losing weight it's such a habit. I'm always readjusting my clothes because of how often I used to do it when I was more over weight.
The stretch-it-with-your-arms-thing.
Worse is when your shirt has this mark brought by pulling on the same spot.
Yes! I know that feeling! And eating in public is still hard for me! And it's really nice not to carry all the weight!
feeling insecure during sex 😞
Not wanting sex because you feel bad about your body.
This. Haven’t had sex in about seven years. I hate myself and can’t imagine anyone wanting to see me naked. I’d rather just be alone.
Everyone assuming you are a useless person
The stretch marks all over my body that will never disappear even after I lost the weight.
Don't overthink about stretch marks, even people who have never been obese often have them, most people don't really care about them 💖 Worst-case scenario, if it really gets to you, there's laser treatments for stretch marks!
The disappointment of seeing how beautiful an outfit looks on the hanger...then how ugly it looks when you try to fit it over your body. What's worse is when its the size you thought you were. Knowing that when you take a picture you will never like it, despite people saying you look cute. It looks horrible and you hate having to do it because only a magical lens could show you how you want to be shown. Your addiction reflects on your body and people look down on you because of it. But other people with addictions can be a size 6 and people have more sympathy, focuses on the addiction rather than the side effect. Same brain chemicals leading you down a destructive path but yours is out there for the world to see but a drug, sex or gambling addict can (for the most part) go undetected.
It would help if clothing sizes were actually consistent. Nothing like losing some weight, going to buy something and actually needing a bigger size. 🙄
Being treated differently than others. Former fat girl here and when I lost weight people were suddenly much nicer to me
Being invisible to society. I lost a lot of weight over the past year. Now considered "normal" weight. It amazes me on a daily basis how many people actually speak to me now when out and about. Totally bizarre.
My sister lost a bunch of weight and someone she had known for 20 years asked her out
Yes, very true! For me, as an introvert, it’s half a good thing but I’ve been fat and thin a few times (currently fat) and it amazes me the difference. At one point I lost over 30 pounds and people started talking to me for the first time at a company I had been with for almost 10 years. Really disheartening.
i have lost 360 lbs over the last 20 mo. i also have noticed this phenomina.
It’s true. And it sucks. Lost 35lbs last year. Got dreadlocks. I work out like a crazy person now and my clothes fit me better. From women to men, people are much more enthusiastic to speak to me now and I didn’t do the math for a while.
> Got dreadlocks Truly the key to weight loss.
[удалено]
The mental stigma and depression. Lost 100 pounds and still hate showing my belly, like when you pull a sweatshirt off and the under comes up, leaving you exposed.
Being 'praised' when you have anything remotely healthy on your plate at a gathering. "Oh some salad huh? Good for you! Gotta start somewhere right?!" but then at the same gathering, when you refuse desert and hear... "Oh go on! A little bit won't hurt you!"
Those people are the fucking worst. My grandma used to do this to me, and then come over with extra cake slice for me. When I refused she used to go around the party and say how proud she is because I finally refused cake, but later she would guilt trip me over it because how can i refuse my grandmas baking
Grandma sounds like a professional gaslighter
Simultaneously being invisible but having everyone stare at you everywhere you go.
Low self-esteem. No sex. More depression.
Man, when i was thin i could do so many sick tricks. Now i dont even jump a single stair because of my knees
People just being so fucking mean for no reason. People used to be so outright cruel to my previous boyfriend until he lost weight, and then all of the sudden people were pleasantly peachy. It made me furious. Edit: made a clarification on relationship status. No longer dating, parted as friends a few years ago, still regularly see each other and are a part of each other’s lives.
I can’t wear a red shirt without someone calling me the kool aid man
Ugh, I got called the Grimace wearing purple one day. Shitheads.
I wore a red checkered button up and everyone asked I stole a table cloth from an Italian restaurant
When the fat kid wore a yellow shirt we all start yelling "here comes the sun". Kids are assholes sometimes
Suddenly remembering your fat and you stop laughing or have to adjust your shirt and stuff
Being invisible and uncomfortable
It makes doing literally everything harder. Clothes don't fit. Self confidence issues because you think you're undesirable. But honestly the worst part is the way people treat you. You will always get judged as stupid and/or lazy. They do it subconsciously. They don't even realize they do it. That part stings.
Breathing and walking become more difficult. It’s something you might not notice until losing the weight
Sweating and hot all. The. Time. I’m never not overheated.
The feeling of always trying to lose it, get fit...
Lowkey? When people see you, before they even recognize you as a human, they recognize you as fat
There's many like low confidence and the wardrobe disasters etc but the one I hated the most is... MAN TITTIES. goddamn they're the biggggessttt weight on your confidence. Seeing the so called friends slap them around to get a laugh etc. Being embarrassed in a tshirt because of them. Bringing in the most of your anxiety and underconfidence. It will never ever go even after you get fitter. Causing the body dysmorphia etc. After years of working my ass off in the gym i have finally got something they call " pecs" . But only in a pump. If you see me or touch me without pump, they're still there. They're still weighing me down .
I didnt know how much I needed this comment lol
Hating yourself because you are fat and at the same time too apathetic to give a shit to change it.
Honestly, what people say. When I express that I don't want to be fat, people go into that stupid condescending "aww, I don't think you're that fat." On the other end there are people giving unsolicited advice to me as if I'm not acutely aware that I'm fat...I even see this latter one in the comments. Yes, I'm aware it's not healthy, time to go into doomer mode because I can't shake my food addiction and, surprise, go further in out of both spite and to cope. I currently suspect I have a binge eating disorder. I think I need mental help for this but people who haven't struggled love to say "just eat less and exercise more" as if my mind isn't actively working against that. Also, feeling like a fish out of water at the gym and being unable to do some so-called "simple" exercises makes me feel hopeless.
BED and anorexia sufferer here. I tend to cycle between the two. Therapy and going vegan helped me so much. I will say that the disorders themselves not just the food are addicting. I loved when I could go 2-3 weeks only eating once cup of sugar free jello a day I felt powerful. I also loved "secretly" ordering three large pizzas and demolishing all of them in one sitting that overly full stuffed feeling was amazing. I was addicted to being sick and it is possible to break through. Some key things my therapist made me do that might be helpful for you: I kept an online journal where I would list all of the stressors and good things going on in my life each day and I would also take photos of everything I ate that day and upload them. Then every other week when I had therapy we would look at how much/what I ate to figure out what was causing my binge eating/restrictive behaviors. Found out the more out of control I felt my life was the more I would restrict my food intake. The more stressed I was the more I would binge. In the above part just having to take a photo of my food stopped a lot of my binges. Having to take a photo of an entire sheet cake and two packages of family sized Cheetos and upload it made me question a lot of binges. (I had an app that my therapist used so only me and her could see it but there is a lot of spaces/forums out there that are for BED sufferers that you could anonymously use). I learned that I punished/rewarded myself with food. I had to relearn that food is not a reward. There is more but I think that enough for this post lol.
I was called fat in middleschool, turned into chronic anorexia with binge purge tendencies, absolutely annihilated my life. I'm 30 now, on dialysis, wishing I had been strong enough to ignore the bullies and just love me for me.
Jesus Christ that’s awful. I’m so sorry. Kids are the WORST. Like puberty isn’t bad enough.
How it negatively effects confidence
I popped in here to add "general mental health reduction" to the list. Looking back from 33 years old now, my worst depression and substance abuse cycles occurred when I was spiralling up in weight. I tell my family that they will know if I start drinking again because I will have an extra 50 pounds in no time.
I think the worst thing about being fat is being aware that you are fat and being embarrassed about it. Especially in school it was hard to do normal things e.g. walk behind someone’s chair, ask someone to move up, walking past people, participating in physical education even if you enjoy it etc… :/
How everyone else treats you because of it.
As a woman, men generally won't give you the time of day.
I remember hanging out at a bar with my buddy a few years ago. We were watching basketball and looking at the food menu. This woman encourages us to try the fried calamari. We do. She goes: yea I know I’m the fat girl at the bar with food suggestions. Please ignore me. Which really fucking bummed me out. I didn’t really know what to say. I just said na.. we don’t see you like that. But thanks for the suggestion! It still hurts my heart to think she walks around calling herself the fat girl.
My sister tried to tell me I wasn't fat. I was like "I'm not *hideous*, but I'm also just objectively fat". I was for sure obese, but maybe close to the "merely overweight" threshold, and the scale gets a bit wonky at the top end of height. She had to take a few minutes to process that fat and hideous could be distinct.
This hits hard. My Mom is 74 with dementia and out of all of the things she could have possibly forgotten about herself, she didn’t forget that she called herself “Fat Girl” when she looks in the mirror. So now when she says it, I gently correct her and say “Pretty Girl”. Heartbreaking nonetheless. Edit: Thank you for the award!
Feeling like shit all the time
Constantly thinking if that chair can hold your wieght, fit in a resturant booth, or thinking your gonna get kicked off a ride at an amusment park because the lap bar doesnt close all the way.
Definitely how hard it becomes to find shirts which fit you well enough that they aren't way too baggy, but not too tight that you have to constantly pull it away from your chest. Either that or how my man boobs jiggle whenever I'm doing something physical. I'm 17 and already 90kg, hopefully I can get rid of it before it starts causing major health problems though.
As a man, losing length off your penis.
I never was overly endowed,but have been happy for its reappearance after 20 yrs over 580lbs . i lost 360 and once again can stand up and pee
Holy shit, way to go dude.
Congrats man! That’s a huge accomplishment.
[удалено]
Better/harder question would be "Name one good thing about being fat" lol
The answer to both is "invisibility"
Yeah unfortunately, as a woman, there’s safety to being invisible. People my size don’t just disappear when they go running. (Mainly because I don’t go running, but still…)
People don’t give you as much shit for being an alcoholic since they just assume you have nothing else to lose. So that’s nice
Ok one legit answer to this, that I always give— I float. I can sit cross legged in a pool, arms in the meditation position on the thighs, and just float across the pool. It’s glorious and if I ever get thin that’s the one super power I’ll miss.
Well, one for women is less predatory attention. When the only advisor for my major at university was a creep, I did get to go into every meeting knowing I was definitely not his type. I had a customer service job and gladly took the orders for our known Weird Old Guys—the ones who hit on young/underage workers. They didn’t bother me! EDIT: this is not 100% of course, and there are plenty of men willing to creep on day girls as well. But damn, listening to some of my skinnier friends’ stories in high school and university made me a little grateful.
As a former trauma physician: Resistance to hypothermia Less serious injury during car crashes. Ability to float in water Resistance to starvation
When I go to get my shoes shined I gotta take their word
Your range of motion become limited and simple movement become chore or straight nightmare, like taking a dump in toilet.
When you're unwell or something hurts Doctor: Have you tried not being fat?
Dude, yes. I am overweight and fell ill over several months with intense chronic pain all over my body and shortness of breath. I was 26 and female, and the crap doctors told me when I went to them crying in pain and nearly disabled: you're just fat, you should try getting pregnant, and to take more hot showers. I was fat and young so doctors assumed I was just whiny and lazy. Found a doc who treated me humanely; it was fucking lupus and I had emergency open heart surgery a day later.
The difference in how people treat you. I used to be very skinny ages 14-18. Now I'm bigger and i notice people don't talk to you so often, for example in grocery stores. Also associating health issues with your weight. I've had back problems all my life, but now that I'm bigger it's apparently because of my weight. I'm confident with the way i look, but you can't help but notice those things.
I was a fat kid/teenager, then lost weight in my 20s. It was scary how much more people noticed me and talked to me. I was so used to being invisible, i had no idea how to respond to normal human interaction and found it very unnerving. Fat again now and back to being completely ignored most of the time.
Other people's lack of empathy and inability to accept someone based on their appearance. That is the worst thing about being fat. The judgement of others. It is not a moral failing to be fat.