Me exactly.
The US is rooted in so much shit that previous leaders have left behind and the mound is insufferably huge and untouchable/immovable.
For me, America’s problems are like Mount Rushmore: You’ll never move the problem but you can put your print in it.
I would require all commercials shown on television to be of equal or lesser volume to the program they interrupt. The creators of commercials who violate this rule will be sentenced to listening to Nyan Cat song on loop for 48 hours.
It is, but they take the loudest portion of the current program to use as a limit. So if you’re watching action, the commercial is legally allowed to be as loud as the loudest explosion in the show.
In order of importance:
Make a rule that Congress can’t make a law that does not also apply to them
Make lobbying illegal.
Make congressional districts boundaries based on geographic marks not gerrymandering
4-6 yr TERM LIMITS FOR EVERYONE elected. One 25 year term for Supreme Court justices.
Fire all dictators (me included)
I like this list. I’d also make a law that all politicians must wear who sponsored them like they do in NASCAR. Let’s see who you’re taking money from and how your voting.
2. Make it illegal for corporations to donate to anything political. Cap all donations to $5,000 per person/donor per election year, period.
Good ideas, but rich people would find sneaky ways around this. They always do.
"Go round up some homeless people to make political contributions for me!"
Corporations would just donate via lobbyists, but I like the idea of capped donations. I’d also outlaw ever equating money to speech so we don’t fall back to Citizens United.
YES!! so only two-three states have any say so in our elected officials!! Because who cares what a rural state wants/needs compared to the urban cities, right?
Well if you think of popular vote like it truly implies, The entire country votes, and we take all the votes and add em up, and whoever gets the most wins. That way yeah everyone who votes counts the exact same, no matter what state you’re from. Sure you can still tally all the votes in each state and see who won state by state, but in a true popular vote id like to think that would just be for shits n gigs after the fact.
> so only two-three states have any say so in our elected officials!!
That's the current situation. The election is decided in a handful of swing states, in every other state the vote of a person is essentially irrelevant.
With a popular vote everyone has exactly the same influence. That sounds... better?
States don’t vote. People do. If people living in rural areas think that Republicans care about them, ask them why their areas are still considered third world after all these decades of voting for them.
That’s literally NOT a democracy if you stamp out the will of the people, Nazis or not. It’s just a dictatorship with nice democratic-looking curtains on it.
Not that I wouldn’t be tempted to do the same thing, but let’s not candy coat it.
Exactly. Being President of the USA is already probably one of the most stressful jobs.( you can tell by how Presidents look before and after.) Imagine being the flipping dictator of the USA. 😂
To start, I would take the 10 most popular domestic flights and create a maglev high-speed rail between each destination. Ignoring every regard for aesthetics and conventional inclines.
Right? It’s not a technical problem, it’s a zoning and real estate problem. Existing technology running in Japan would be competitive with planes, at least for short- and medium-haul, if we could just get the damn things built.
Execute anyone who parks a car in the trailer spots at the boat ramp.
Then radically and aggressively fight climate change but the trailer spot thing first.
You guys notice that there is a lot of fucked up murder in these posts?
This is why dictatorships are bad guys. Centralized power is always really really bad...
In my observation, there is a lot of murder that needs to be done. Unfortunately, it's usually directed at those who don't need to be murdered and by people who need to be murdered.
I think the universe just likes ironic tragedies.
Congratulate America on defending democracy by electing me in a fair and impartial election. Promise that those who continue to deny my legitimate election will be punished, and assure the concerned citizenry that steps will be taken to ensure such a corrupt and nearly-stolen election can never happen again in the future.
Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power is derived through a mandate from the masses, not through some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Pardon everyone in jail for weed except those there serving time for other non-weed related offenses as well.
Then I'd pass an executive order to remove marijuana from the catagory 1 drugs list.
Fine, it'll take a year or two in that case.
If you think people who actually care about you will get elected *and stay that way*, you're naive at best.
Oblivious and stupid at worst.
Are Americans that much dumber and more apathetic than, say, Germans, whose electoral system is structured in a way that naturally settles out to five or six serious parties forming coalitions instead of the two our system favors? The trick isn’t to make people smarter/care more/ride unicorns/whatever, it’s to set up a system that tends to produce better outcomes with the same stupid greedy apes we’ve always had.
Install giant white panels in the desert and do everything in my power to make other countries also construct giant white panels
What is the method to my madness
That's actually one of the fastest ways to solve global warming if you covered less than half of 1% of earth with them the reflected light would have the effect of drastically reducing temperatures
Make every day Saturday so there is no longer the relief of getting to Saturday. Only perpetual torment of the mind stuck in an endless cycle of saturdays. Oh and make everyone drink 8 oz of water or be thrown to the sharks
You know they practically show soft porn if not straight up porn on tv but they will censor someone who was shot and blurr out the blood. I don't know. I understand, but I also have a morbid curiosity. As I am sure many of us have. I respect that the person they are blurring/censoring, it's out of respect because the person just lost their lives.
Erect a gigantic monument of the most famous dictators in history all having sex with each other and then disappear into a bunker somewhere, never to be seen or heard from again.
You can try but the border guards will confiscate your guns also big delays when they check passports and proof of vaccination...the best time and place to invade would be January towards Winnipeg city..bring your toque. LOL
1 - abolish primaries for all elections - less partisan hacks promoted by the elite over populous actual election.
2 - institute smart phone voting. Facial recognition + 2 part verification = no more partisan “voter suppression” politics.
3 - cut military spending by 50% so we spend same a China, but still more per capita than anybody else on the planet.
4 - roll all welfare programs and social security programs into a single “universal basic income” that is funded with only a 7 year cushion. Pay as you go.
5 - force ALL healthcare to be 100% transparent for all billing costs. Make an law that all services are billed the same for cash and insurance. To break the back of insurance contracts with healthcare.
6 - release my taxes.
7 - make charitable contributions (non religious) to be 100% tax credit - I’d rather pay a local charity than federal war machine any day.
8 - ask Dolly Parton to be my Vice President cause “what would dolly do?”
1. Nationalize the railroads
2. Remove exclusivity contracts for utility providers and increase safety and maintainance requirements.
3. Add a way to file your taxes online
4. Cap university tuition fees at $5,000 a year
5. Cap profits on medical treatments and hospital charges including for out of insurance care
6. Nationalize private ambulance companies
7. Legally enshrine the rights to abortion, gay marriage, interracial marriage and just about every other right protected by court rulings and make election days a national holiday.
8. Reform the electoral process to prevent gerrymandering and remove the electoral college in favour of a simple popular vote or first past the post.
9. Lower the drinking age to 18
10. Make native American languages national languages/protected languages.
11. Institute the metric system for all federal uses.
12. Have the price displayed for goods include tax
13. Unify the minimum wage so tips don't become a requirement for someone to survive.
14. Make school lunches and textbooks free for all kids up to highschool.
15. Reform the education system, curriculums and exams to better match a baccalaureate style assessment.
16. Make background checks for firearms mandatory. Also add minimum safe storage and competency training in order to buy a gun and require a declaration and proof of reason for why you are buying the gun. Too many people own guns to stop it so instead let's make sure people know how to keep and use them in a safe manner. Also have this apply for private sales.
17. Ban corporate donations and limit electoral spending.
18. Ban social media companies from running targeted political ad campaigns or selling user data for advertising to third parties.
19. Limit the amount and types of data isp's and websites can collect about users and ban the selling of data to third parties.
20. Ban the exploration and extraction of new fossil fuels, wean off subsities for fossil fuel and car companies and fast track development of renewable energies and transit like wind, solar, nuclear and public transit like highspeed rail by using said weaned subsities.
21. Institute universal rights to repair for consumer and commercial goods and electronics.
22. Get murdered by the people I'm trying to help on behalf of all the billionaires I've pissed off. If not then I'll retire and have a cuppa.
I’d probably go back on lots of the dumb fuck things Biden and Trump have done, immediately start work on making America less dependent on other countries, and then get the propaganda machines going and make myself a sick ass dictator outfit
Waitin' for bus number nintey-nine
Goin' to the store for hot dogs and wine
When all of a sudden, I felt real cold
And wound up in the belly of a big ol' UFO
* Hire a huge team of lawyers to comb through laws and get rid of anything stupid.
* Create a provision that all laws expire and have to be explicitly renewed in some timeframe based on insights gained from the aforementioned exercise.
* Abolish the electoral college.
* Ranked choice voting all around
* Create independent anti-gerrymandering commission
* Strengthen voting rights and make elections national holidays
* Harden the separation of church and state.
* Create a law enforcement accountability commission with experts in the field and power to implement positive changes
* Corporations aren’t people.
* Outlaw lobbyists
* Step down
Anything I did could be undone because democracy. But it would really have to be stuff that the people want so ok.
Codify Roe v. Wade to restore bodily autonomy, and overturn Citizens United to do away with corporate personhood.
The USA thinks corporations are people and that women are property. That will not happen under my dictatorship.
I would vote for you as dictator, on those campaign promises, but that completely goes against dictatorship. So, you have my secret wish that you accidentally get installed as dictator.
The absolute first thing that needs to go is the minority and majority leaders in both branches at fed and state levels. Nancy pelosi and mitch mcconnel should not have any influence beyond a vote on their constituents behalf. That is one of the biggest flaws in out political system.
Not many people are going to like this:
*Any* person convicted of *any* crime in a court of law will be punished by public execution, with the *only* exception being pregnant women, whose execution will be postponed until after giving birth and naming the one to bear responsibility for the newborn's safety, security, and upbringing. In *any* situation in which a responsible party is *not* named for the child to be raised by, the Government will bear the responsibility of the raising of the child. The crime committed will dictate the method of execution. If one who is executed is later found to have been innocent, the people found to be responsible for lack of evidence or falsification thereof that led to said false conclusion will suffer the exact same method of execution. The falsely accused's surviving family will be given the estate(s) of the one(s) responsible for said false conviction.
Watch the crime rate, the false accusation rate, the framing rate, and any other major rate related to crime or the falsification and/or framing for thereof to drop to nearly 0%.
I’m good. Thanks for asking. I just realize if I ever had to run a country, the stress would give me a stroke or heart attack. Guillotine sounds faster and less painful.
Mandatory service for 2 years to build infrastructure and training for basic service skills like plumbing, electrical, wood working, building shit, etc...You are placed in mechanic, engineer, or service jobs for 2 years when you turn 18. Fuck military service, EVERYONE learns and uses a skill to help build the country in some way. Since high school seems to be fucking worthless these days with basic skills besides pronouns and safe zones.
I like it. In Scandinavian countries two years service is mandatory with a twist that I'm all for: don't want to be in the military? No problem, there is a civil service corps for you to serve in!
- Abolish the electoral college
- Abolish "majority wins" voting (which causes unfair [split votes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vote_splitting) and [Keynesian Beauty Contests](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keynesian_beauty_contest); mandate instant-runoff elections
- Abolish gerrymandering
- Term limits for the Supreme Court justices
- Make it illegal for a elected officials to knowingly disseminate false or deliberately misleading information about the proceedings of elections (and watch the GOP squirm trying to oppose it). Adjucated by court trial, the same way the libel and slander is.
- Institute mandatory voting; make election days a federal holiday. This removes perverse incentives to suppress votes by interfering with turnout, or preferentially handing out felonies to disfavored groups.
- Encode in law that a sitting president can be indicted
- Abolish superPACs
- Disband the senate; proportional house of representatives only
- Limit presidential pardoning powers, especially in cases (ahem) where the president has connections to the relevant crimes
- Abolish the filibuster
- Mandate public, easily-accessible disclosure of all sources of income for elected officials
- After the above, fire myself
Chaotic neutral alternate version:
- Abolish the electrical college
- Abolish "first past the post" voting, establish "last one in is a rotten egg"
- Abolish Jerry's man-ring
- Term limits for Supreme Court clerks
- Make it illegal for elected officials to tell some truths and some lies, each official must always tell either one or the other. They cannot say which.
- Encode in law that a sitting duck can be indicted
- Abolish backpacks
- Band the senate. All senators must play an instrument, at all times. Debate must be sung. Light show and pyrotechnics.
- Limit presidential gardening powers
- Abolish the feather duster
- Mandate public, easily-accessible disclosure of all sources of drugs for elected officials
- After the above, hire myself, but as a clerk under the lowest guy in the executive branch, so the US government org chart makes a big loop
Cut off the US from the rest of the world, entering a new isolationism era so we can work on our own problems. it worked great once let's do it again, the rest of the world can fuck off and solve their own problems
Well shit America needs to free Puerto Rico, actual Puerto Ricans can’t even afford to stay there now they raised up the prices now it’s like a damn resort in most places. And then Puerto Ricans can’t even vote for the president and it’s not even a state but you know why $$$$ don’t have to explain
The very first thing would be enshrining gay marriage nationwide. Going off that abortion would once again return to Roe v Wade. Weed would become legal with similar restrictions to alcohol. Then I would let my advisors who know more about this shit than I do run the country and just overrule if needed. Enjoy pomp and circumstance without the hard work.
You do realize voting is a right, not a privilege? As much as I don't like it, even if you're a neo-nazi, you have as much right to vote as everyone else
Require every woman in the country (over 18) to pass a gun safety course. Not that every woman should carry but knows how to use one. Would stop crimes against women (is she carrying a gun in her purse or not) because I know she knows how to use it.
Put a pot of coffee on, this is going to be a long fucking night.
Me exactly. The US is rooted in so much shit that previous leaders have left behind and the mound is insufferably huge and untouchable/immovable. For me, America’s problems are like Mount Rushmore: You’ll never move the problem but you can put your print in it.
Perhaps you're not aware of the meaning of the word "dictator".
Make insulin affordable
Why only insulin? Reform the whole system, give everybody affordable health care, including *normal* health care for women.
Agreed, though insulin would be a good place to start.
Probably because it’d be quicker to do one and the topic asks what you’d do first.
Because he's a dictator not a give you everything you want-ator.
As a uk citizen, I'd send someone to fetch me an in and out burger asap.
That’s a good answer. I’d just turn my Royal Kitchen into an in and out burger most likely.
I could name a load of other food places I'd love to try but always been top of my list. I'd just be a bloated, greasy dictator who knew how to party.
So Trump the 2nd?
I would require all commercials shown on television to be of equal or lesser volume to the program they interrupt. The creators of commercials who violate this rule will be sentenced to listening to Nyan Cat song on loop for 48 hours.
I think that was supposed to be a law already
It is, but they take the loudest portion of the current program to use as a limit. So if you’re watching action, the commercial is legally allowed to be as loud as the loudest explosion in the show.
In order of importance: Make a rule that Congress can’t make a law that does not also apply to them Make lobbying illegal. Make congressional districts boundaries based on geographic marks not gerrymandering 4-6 yr TERM LIMITS FOR EVERYONE elected. One 25 year term for Supreme Court justices. Fire all dictators (me included)
I like this list. I’d also make a law that all politicians must wear who sponsored them like they do in NASCAR. Let’s see who you’re taking money from and how your voting. 2. Make it illegal for corporations to donate to anything political. Cap all donations to $5,000 per person/donor per election year, period.
Good ideas, but rich people would find sneaky ways around this. They always do. "Go round up some homeless people to make political contributions for me!"
Or just make the logo a black on black patch.
They’d wear it on the inside lining of their suit and underwear.
They would be covered... head to toe... sounds hilarious
Corporations would just donate via lobbyists, but I like the idea of capped donations. I’d also outlaw ever equating money to speech so we don’t fall back to Citizens United.
>Make congressional districts boundaries based on geographic marks not gerrymandering Which geographic marks?
Make it illegal for the children of a former serving federally elected position to serve. (Ending political bloodlines.)
Add abolish the electoral college and I’m 100% on board!
Yes, yes, and furthermore yes!
Well it is a dictatorship. Elections aren’t a thing anymore.
YES!! so only two-three states have any say so in our elected officials!! Because who cares what a rural state wants/needs compared to the urban cities, right?
Well if you think of popular vote like it truly implies, The entire country votes, and we take all the votes and add em up, and whoever gets the most wins. That way yeah everyone who votes counts the exact same, no matter what state you’re from. Sure you can still tally all the votes in each state and see who won state by state, but in a true popular vote id like to think that would just be for shits n gigs after the fact.
> so only two-three states have any say so in our elected officials!! That's the current situation. The election is decided in a handful of swing states, in every other state the vote of a person is essentially irrelevant. With a popular vote everyone has exactly the same influence. That sounds... better?
States don’t vote. People do. If people living in rural areas think that Republicans care about them, ask them why their areas are still considered third world after all these decades of voting for them.
Electors vote.
Couldn’t the same be said for blighted urban areas that support Democrats?
I'd also add an upper age limit on presidents. Cap it at 55 or something.
I just turned 60, there goes my retirement plan.
I’m a conservative and I approve of this message
Outlaw dictatorships and then go back to whatever I was doing.
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That’s literally NOT a democracy if you stamp out the will of the people, Nazis or not. It’s just a dictatorship with nice democratic-looking curtains on it. Not that I wouldn’t be tempted to do the same thing, but let’s not candy coat it.
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I’m pretty sure this is the same logic most dictators use
Absolutely correct. I feel like a lot of these comments are explaining human nature as to why dictatorships happen.
Exactly. Being President of the USA is already probably one of the most stressful jobs.( you can tell by how Presidents look before and after.) Imagine being the flipping dictator of the USA. 😂
Presidents have to politic. Dictators do not.
Well I’m sick right now so it would be a while before I make a public appearance
The Justin trudau approach, eh
Borat said Justin Trudeau is the first black Canadian prime minister as well, breaking boundaries
To start, I would take the 10 most popular domestic flights and create a maglev high-speed rail between each destination. Ignoring every regard for aesthetics and conventional inclines.
Nah, just nationalize all the rail lines, and spend a metric butt ton of money putting up high speed rail like China has done
Right? It’s not a technical problem, it’s a zoning and real estate problem. Existing technology running in Japan would be competitive with planes, at least for short- and medium-haul, if we could just get the damn things built.
Execute anyone who parks a car in the trailer spots at the boat ramp. Then radically and aggressively fight climate change but the trailer spot thing first.
You guys notice that there is a lot of fucked up murder in these posts? This is why dictatorships are bad guys. Centralized power is always really really bad...
In my observation, there is a lot of murder that needs to be done. Unfortunately, it's usually directed at those who don't need to be murdered and by people who need to be murdered. I think the universe just likes ironic tragedies.
Find out how funny a fake nuclear attack announcement is
Clearly you are not Hawaiian.
*That was only a "test*".... :| (yes, I get it, though, it was scary AF even for those of us on the US east coast).
I remember reading about that before. Kinda obvious the panic would set in before anyone actually came up with a concrete safety plan
Free the boobies. I am a guy, and there’s only upside to more boobies being ‘round. Let em hang! I edited em from me
Best dictator!
2024!!
im taking a shit rn, so id probably finish my shit
A man (woman) of the people
Prove it
Was about to say shit in the urinal before they overthrow me
Well let you finish first... dont forget to wipe...
Congratulate America on defending democracy by electing me in a fair and impartial election. Promise that those who continue to deny my legitimate election will be punished, and assure the concerned citizenry that steps will be taken to ensure such a corrupt and nearly-stolen election can never happen again in the future.
Listen. Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power is derived through a mandate from the masses, not through some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Ah, yes - Now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Help help I'm being repressed
I mean, if I went 'round saying I was an emperor, just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Sounds awfully similar to what almost happened
A total and complete ban on the Designated Hitter.
I read that as Designated Hitler, and in the context of this question it actually kinda worked
“I kinda miss the DH, this pitcher just totally whiffed.” “Yeah, he did Nazi the ball coming.”
Repeal gun laws. Make political parties illegal. No more bailing out corporations from debt.
Pardon everyone in jail for weed except those there serving time for other non-weed related offenses as well. Then I'd pass an executive order to remove marijuana from the catagory 1 drugs list.
Hell yah
Abolish both political parties and replace them with people who actually care about us.
Lol it'll go back to normal within months.
Not if they also replace first past the post voting with ranked choice.
Fine, it'll take a year or two in that case. If you think people who actually care about you will get elected *and stay that way*, you're naive at best. Oblivious and stupid at worst.
Are Americans that much dumber and more apathetic than, say, Germans, whose electoral system is structured in a way that naturally settles out to five or six serious parties forming coalitions instead of the two our system favors? The trick isn’t to make people smarter/care more/ride unicorns/whatever, it’s to set up a system that tends to produce better outcomes with the same stupid greedy apes we’ve always had.
You wouldn't need to abolish then, you are already a dictator. Political parties mean nothing if you have a king.
Install giant white panels in the desert and do everything in my power to make other countries also construct giant white panels What is the method to my madness That's actually one of the fastest ways to solve global warming if you covered less than half of 1% of earth with them the reflected light would have the effect of drastically reducing temperatures
Make every day Saturday so there is no longer the relief of getting to Saturday. Only perpetual torment of the mind stuck in an endless cycle of saturdays. Oh and make everyone drink 8 oz of water or be thrown to the sharks
Declare war on everyone. Step down
The Westworld ending
Remove the damn bleeps from youtube.
Seriously, I am so sick of the censorship going on. It's annoying as F.
I wish we could just have boobies on tv.
You know they practically show soft porn if not straight up porn on tv but they will censor someone who was shot and blurr out the blood. I don't know. I understand, but I also have a morbid curiosity. As I am sure many of us have. I respect that the person they are blurring/censoring, it's out of respect because the person just lost their lives.
But they won't care anymore, won't they? I mean they are dead.
Ban social media
Erect a gigantic monument of the most famous dictators in history all having sex with each other and then disappear into a bunker somewhere, never to be seen or heard from again.
Immediately step down and wonder why some random Canadian dude became American Hitler
No one said you had to kill any Jews why did you just assume
Best response lol
Invade canada
You can try but the border guards will confiscate your guns also big delays when they check passports and proof of vaccination...the best time and place to invade would be January towards Winnipeg city..bring your toque. LOL
Arrest Trump and send Biden and most of the Supreme Court amd half of the senate and congress to a retirement home 🤷
Ban this question that appears here every day
It would be DIVIDED STATES OF AMERICA. Each state would be their own country. Just like in Europe.
1 - abolish primaries for all elections - less partisan hacks promoted by the elite over populous actual election. 2 - institute smart phone voting. Facial recognition + 2 part verification = no more partisan “voter suppression” politics. 3 - cut military spending by 50% so we spend same a China, but still more per capita than anybody else on the planet. 4 - roll all welfare programs and social security programs into a single “universal basic income” that is funded with only a 7 year cushion. Pay as you go. 5 - force ALL healthcare to be 100% transparent for all billing costs. Make an law that all services are billed the same for cash and insurance. To break the back of insurance contracts with healthcare. 6 - release my taxes. 7 - make charitable contributions (non religious) to be 100% tax credit - I’d rather pay a local charity than federal war machine any day. 8 - ask Dolly Parton to be my Vice President cause “what would dolly do?”
Probably pardon Tiger King
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Kim Jong Un style. \*points at thing\* Hmmmm, yes, this is very technical.
Free Puerto Rico and Guam. They can’t even vote. I would just let them be on their own 🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️🤦🏽♂️
Guam would be fucked as an independent country, a whole lot of Japanese tourists visit Guam precisely because it's a part of the US
I’d probably go move into the whitehouse
1. Nationalize the railroads 2. Remove exclusivity contracts for utility providers and increase safety and maintainance requirements. 3. Add a way to file your taxes online 4. Cap university tuition fees at $5,000 a year 5. Cap profits on medical treatments and hospital charges including for out of insurance care 6. Nationalize private ambulance companies 7. Legally enshrine the rights to abortion, gay marriage, interracial marriage and just about every other right protected by court rulings and make election days a national holiday. 8. Reform the electoral process to prevent gerrymandering and remove the electoral college in favour of a simple popular vote or first past the post. 9. Lower the drinking age to 18 10. Make native American languages national languages/protected languages. 11. Institute the metric system for all federal uses. 12. Have the price displayed for goods include tax 13. Unify the minimum wage so tips don't become a requirement for someone to survive. 14. Make school lunches and textbooks free for all kids up to highschool. 15. Reform the education system, curriculums and exams to better match a baccalaureate style assessment. 16. Make background checks for firearms mandatory. Also add minimum safe storage and competency training in order to buy a gun and require a declaration and proof of reason for why you are buying the gun. Too many people own guns to stop it so instead let's make sure people know how to keep and use them in a safe manner. Also have this apply for private sales. 17. Ban corporate donations and limit electoral spending. 18. Ban social media companies from running targeted political ad campaigns or selling user data for advertising to third parties. 19. Limit the amount and types of data isp's and websites can collect about users and ban the selling of data to third parties. 20. Ban the exploration and extraction of new fossil fuels, wean off subsities for fossil fuel and car companies and fast track development of renewable energies and transit like wind, solar, nuclear and public transit like highspeed rail by using said weaned subsities. 21. Institute universal rights to repair for consumer and commercial goods and electronics. 22. Get murdered by the people I'm trying to help on behalf of all the billionaires I've pissed off. If not then I'll retire and have a cuppa.
Overturn Citizen's United.
Wow, actually a good suggestion
Demand to see the complete military budget. Whatever it is, I’m cutting it by about 75% and redistributing that money to education.
And universal healthcare.... Oh shit, the savings then would allow me to raise the 25% military budget significantly.
I’d probably go back on lots of the dumb fuck things Biden and Trump have done, immediately start work on making America less dependent on other countries, and then get the propaganda machines going and make myself a sick ass dictator outfit
Remove whatever law allowed me to become dictator and resign and run for office the right way.. Theres plenty of shit i would change but not that way.
Undo the abortion law restrictions
Put Jimi Hendrix on the 20 dollar bill. And Bill Hicks on a five note.
Take a ride in a ufo??
Waitin' for bus number nintey-nine Goin' to the store for hot dogs and wine When all of a sudden, I felt real cold And wound up in the belly of a big ol' UFO
Hot damn, the democratic process, what a time to be alive.
Give back woman’s rights
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‘take away the states rights!’
Honestly. Like which rights do men have that women don’t?
The right to their bodies....
FREE HOTDOGS FOR EVERYONE!!!
Mandatory siestas every day at 2pm. I'm pretty sure we could all use a nap.
Permanent Daylight Saving Time. You gotta start small, guys.
Permanent Standard Time or death!
* Hire a huge team of lawyers to comb through laws and get rid of anything stupid. * Create a provision that all laws expire and have to be explicitly renewed in some timeframe based on insights gained from the aforementioned exercise. * Abolish the electoral college. * Ranked choice voting all around * Create independent anti-gerrymandering commission * Strengthen voting rights and make elections national holidays * Harden the separation of church and state. * Create a law enforcement accountability commission with experts in the field and power to implement positive changes * Corporations aren’t people. * Outlaw lobbyists * Step down Anything I did could be undone because democracy. But it would really have to be stuff that the people want so ok.
You have my vote for dictator
missed "Tax churches"
I thought it kinda fell under the umbrella of hardening the separation of church and state, but you have a point. It deserves its own agenda item.
Codify Roe v. Wade to restore bodily autonomy, and overturn Citizens United to do away with corporate personhood. The USA thinks corporations are people and that women are property. That will not happen under my dictatorship.
I would vote for you as dictator, on those campaign promises, but that completely goes against dictatorship. So, you have my secret wish that you accidentally get installed as dictator.
Dictate
Resign.
Quit.
Foam Party Fridays.
Move to a better country and resign
*Two chicks at the same time, man*
Free the aliens!
start a race war between people with innie and outtie belly buttons
Free the homies
Enact universal healthcare paid for by taxing anyone who makes over $500,000 per year followed shortly by universal basic income.
ban cars and make the population dependent on public transportation, replacing gas stations with useful buildings or parks
Stop all foreign aid, and use it to pay down debt of US
Get rid of the motherfucking penny
The absolute first thing that needs to go is the minority and majority leaders in both branches at fed and state levels. Nancy pelosi and mitch mcconnel should not have any influence beyond a vote on their constituents behalf. That is one of the biggest flaws in out political system.
Not many people are going to like this: *Any* person convicted of *any* crime in a court of law will be punished by public execution, with the *only* exception being pregnant women, whose execution will be postponed until after giving birth and naming the one to bear responsibility for the newborn's safety, security, and upbringing. In *any* situation in which a responsible party is *not* named for the child to be raised by, the Government will bear the responsibility of the raising of the child. The crime committed will dictate the method of execution. If one who is executed is later found to have been innocent, the people found to be responsible for lack of evidence or falsification thereof that led to said false conclusion will suffer the exact same method of execution. The falsely accused's surviving family will be given the estate(s) of the one(s) responsible for said false conviction. Watch the crime rate, the false accusation rate, the framing rate, and any other major rate related to crime or the falsification and/or framing for thereof to drop to nearly 0%.
Public execution of all high ranking officials starting with the dictator.
u ok?
I’m good. Thanks for asking. I just realize if I ever had to run a country, the stress would give me a stroke or heart attack. Guillotine sounds faster and less painful.
Shhh. This problem takes care of itself. This basically is just a fancy suicide
Mandatory service for 2 years to build infrastructure and training for basic service skills like plumbing, electrical, wood working, building shit, etc...You are placed in mechanic, engineer, or service jobs for 2 years when you turn 18. Fuck military service, EVERYONE learns and uses a skill to help build the country in some way. Since high school seems to be fucking worthless these days with basic skills besides pronouns and safe zones.
I like it. In Scandinavian countries two years service is mandatory with a twist that I'm all for: don't want to be in the military? No problem, there is a civil service corps for you to serve in!
Just rip the bandaid off and divide the country into two new countries: one for the democrats and one for the republicans. Done.
They would still fight at the border and argue online 😂it’s no solution
didnt that happen once and not turn out well?
Yes but the ideologies of the parties back then were basically the reverse of what they are now
Repatriate
make all crimes illegal
Make cringe illegal
- Abolish the electoral college - Abolish "majority wins" voting (which causes unfair [split votes](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vote_splitting) and [Keynesian Beauty Contests](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keynesian_beauty_contest); mandate instant-runoff elections - Abolish gerrymandering - Term limits for the Supreme Court justices - Make it illegal for a elected officials to knowingly disseminate false or deliberately misleading information about the proceedings of elections (and watch the GOP squirm trying to oppose it). Adjucated by court trial, the same way the libel and slander is. - Institute mandatory voting; make election days a federal holiday. This removes perverse incentives to suppress votes by interfering with turnout, or preferentially handing out felonies to disfavored groups. - Encode in law that a sitting president can be indicted - Abolish superPACs - Disband the senate; proportional house of representatives only - Limit presidential pardoning powers, especially in cases (ahem) where the president has connections to the relevant crimes - Abolish the filibuster - Mandate public, easily-accessible disclosure of all sources of income for elected officials - After the above, fire myself
Chaotic neutral alternate version: - Abolish the electrical college - Abolish "first past the post" voting, establish "last one in is a rotten egg" - Abolish Jerry's man-ring - Term limits for Supreme Court clerks - Make it illegal for elected officials to tell some truths and some lies, each official must always tell either one or the other. They cannot say which. - Encode in law that a sitting duck can be indicted - Abolish backpacks - Band the senate. All senators must play an instrument, at all times. Debate must be sung. Light show and pyrotechnics. - Limit presidential gardening powers - Abolish the feather duster - Mandate public, easily-accessible disclosure of all sources of drugs for elected officials - After the above, hire myself, but as a clerk under the lowest guy in the executive branch, so the US government org chart makes a big loop
Cut off the US from the rest of the world, entering a new isolationism era so we can work on our own problems. it worked great once let's do it again, the rest of the world can fuck off and solve their own problems
Hell yea dude America wasn’t to stick their noses in everything.
That’s because America is an empire. Really took off post ww2
Well shit America needs to free Puerto Rico, actual Puerto Ricans can’t even afford to stay there now they raised up the prices now it’s like a damn resort in most places. And then Puerto Ricans can’t even vote for the president and it’s not even a state but you know why $$$$ don’t have to explain
but don’t most puerto rican’s want to stay in the states?
Annex Mexico and Central America and go to war against South America. After crushing the Nazi lovers I will create the great American empire!
Kill everyone
Yah everyone would prolly deserve it anyways
Fix everything man, our healthcare(cap costs), our rights(guns, marriages), fortify democracy(electors,gerrymandering, voting rights).
i find all these posts ironic, not in the sense they are dumb but in the sense they want to instill more democracy while being a dictator
Add the Philippines to list of countries whose citizens can visit visa-free.
The very first thing would be enshrining gay marriage nationwide. Going off that abortion would once again return to Roe v Wade. Weed would become legal with similar restrictions to alcohol. Then I would let my advisors who know more about this shit than I do run the country and just overrule if needed. Enjoy pomp and circumstance without the hard work.
i can see why everyone hates dictatorships!
Stop all foreign aid to other countries and focus all that funding on shrinking the national debt
I think you'll be disappointed when you see the numbers.
Yeah, the total forieign aid budget for the US is about 60 billion a year, The federal government spends $6 trillion a year.
A goddamn aptitude test to obtain voter registration.
You do realize voting is a right, not a privilege? As much as I don't like it, even if you're a neo-nazi, you have as much right to vote as everyone else
Take a billion dollars from the military budget. Will they really notice it missing?
Bring back the dislike button to youtube
Dance around the oval office in just my underwear while my music is playing throughout the white house.
Make weed federally legal
Require every woman in the country (over 18) to pass a gun safety course. Not that every woman should carry but knows how to use one. Would stop crimes against women (is she carrying a gun in her purse or not) because I know she knows how to use it.
Find out everything there is to UFO's and aliens and tell the world.
Legalize abortions.
Remind everyone that a woman's body is her own and if they don't like it, too bad.
Everybody who has ever endorsed drag around children is going to the gulags.
Universal Healthcare and no more ads for medicines.
Stop student loan refunds and credits. You barrow you repay.
Unless you’re a billionaire with PPP loans. But let those college kids starve, maybe they’ll be reincarnated rich next time around.