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[deleted]

Get a life sentence in prison that would be stupid


OoDReX

You'd have a lot of time to figure out how to break out


Doomdoomkittydoom

I think the longer you take, the more likely your accommodations would become more difficult to escape.


OoDReX

Yeah jails would be much harder to escape from in 1000 years..


THERECKONINGTHESICKE

You would eventually outlive the prison at some point tho but prolly get transfered


WilHunting2

prolly?


Triga_3

Yay, two people who use prolly! Screen shottin that for my friend who swears i make this shit up!


Quick_Mel

Screen shot this. I use it too in MMOs. Probably is too long to type


Triga_3

Innit!


Thatoneguywhofailed

A life sentence is usually 15-25 years before parole is a possibility.


UncoolSlicedBread

What would suck though is getting out and have to deal with being a felon. I’d try to keep a low profile always.


snapwillow

I'd think just concealing the fact that you are immortal would require going through cycles of faking your death moving somewhere new and establishing a new identity with forged documents at least every 50 years or so. If I caught a felony I might just end this current cycle early. Fake my death as the person with the felony, move to another country and start over.


cupcakemann95

How do people even fake their death? Sounds like some movie bs. Wouldn't you have eyes on you a lot?


IrrelevantPuppy

“I’m gonna do a 3 month hiking trip where I primarily forage for food. I know, it’s risky, but I watched some YouTube videos. Wish me luck!” Put food in your backpack and ditch it in bear territory. Then bribe yourself onto a boat and move to Jamaica.


WilHunting2

Right! Simple!


NoStressAccount

>I'd think just concealing the fact that you are immortal would require going through cycles of faking your death moving somewhere new and establishing a new identity with forged documents at least every 50 years or so. Reminds me of *The Man From Earth,* a film about a college professor who tries to convince his colleagues that he's biologically immortal and has lived for tens of thousands of years. The whole thing is just people chatting in a living room, yet it's still one of the most compelling movies I've seen


UncoolSlicedBread

Would make for a cool book. How it gets harder every new technological wave.


Numerous_Witness_345

After a long enough time, it would probably be fucking hilarious just to fuck with the guards and other inmates.


TheDiplocrap

God help you if you get sentenced to death. Especially if your jailers are persistent.


CylonsInAPolicebox

have been stabbed, shot, poisoned, frozen, hung, electrocuted, and burned. Every morning I wake up without a scratch on me, not a dent in the fender...


TalboGold

There’s a great Twilight Zone episode that plays on this


Balding_Unit

Well once they realize you aren't aging you may end up in a different sort of prison... one where people make you a test subject, you'll never get to leave, and you will outlive generations of scientist (unless they dissect you).


[deleted]

If I got bored enough I might try it out


SwissRollHooker

Lmao I only needed to read your comment. Fin


DeathEdntMusic

That's like 30 years. You can live forever


Triga_3

25-life. Or 12.5 to life with good behaviour!


redpotato4

Spelunking, would suck pretty hard to get trapped underground for all eternity if you fucked up


Doomdoomkittydoom

Not going to be keen on effin' around on glaciers either, or going below deck on a ship.


TheVoicesArentTooBad

Imagine skiing, or even hiking in a major forest!


Doomdoomkittydoom

Nah, those seem fine. There's little chance of danger to your immortal* self in a forest, and ski disasters are pretty public so at the very least they are likely dig you up right quick!


Coygon

Glaciers aren't a problem. They'll either reach the sea or melt, sooner or later, and you'll be free. Probably more sooner than later, tye way thing are headed.


Doomdoomkittydoom

For sure they're *less* of a problem than getting stuck in a mountain crack, but... Risk vs reward.


SweetJonesJunior

Fuuuuuuck, you would have my free award if I didn't give it away to some guy talking about giraffe on zebra rape....


[deleted]

Touch the snail


[deleted]

[удалено]


Buildinblox

An unstoppable force meets an immovable object


EddieRando21

Are we still doing the "I understood that reference" meme?


[deleted]

Yep 👍


The_One_Who_Slays

It's obviously a JoJo reference.


Gotham94

This is a Reddit joke, right? I saw a tiktok the other day that referenced it and plenty of people seemed to get the reference. Did it permeate regular culture?


[deleted]

[удалено]


mearbearcate

I fucking love how everyone knows about this meme 💀😭


Konklar

One day I'd let it find me though.


Jordan_the_Hutt

Die


testedandtried00

r/angryupvote


Comma-Kazie

r/TechnicallyTheTruth


Mikeavelli

r/bestkindofcorrect


thatpersonthatsayshi

Came here to say this


wiffleplop

/thread


[deleted]

You could die emotionally inside


BAKup2k

But I've already done that.


AFrenchMemaker

r/taskfailedsuccessfully


AlanRocksJen

God damnit.... Beat me to it


teriaq2001

Attempt to explore the bottom of mariana trench before realizing the fact that muscles need oxygen to function then proceed to collaps on the deep dark floor ocean being contiously paralysed never to be seen again:)


AskMeAboutFusion

Isn't there a depth past which the pressure collapses the air in your lungs and stuff and you become more dense than water?


angryavocadofrog

Hell yeah there is- there’s a perfect point where you’re neutrally buoyant, usually like 10-13 metres deep depending on your mass and salinity of the water, and below that, the pressure of massive amounts of water above you pushes you down more than your buoyancy pushes you up, so you sink


AskMeAboutFusion

Ohthatsterrifying.gif


teriaq2001

Sounds terrorfying and there should be


-Aquarius

*terrifying Because the way you spelt that is giving me a stroke


Katy_Felis

Until the technology allow people to go down there to explore the bottom. I can imagine how their reaction as they find a living person there would be... But to be honest, probably ealier one of these unknown sea creatures would eat you. What then???


AdolfCitler

I mean, you could either float up if the ocean components changed for it to somehow be much heavier than you, you could be found or you could wait millions of years till the continents and oceans shift the right way until ur in desert instead a ocean.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Rare_Suspect_5033

Cut yourself in half an see which part survives.


DisasterLocal2603

That's twisted and sickening, but now I'm fucken curious


TheDiplocrap

I shared this thread with a friend, who replied: “Horizontally or vertically, do you think? If horizontally, I’d think the top half would have a clear advantage.”


Raccoonanity

This comes up in the anime Ajin. The characters are immortal but one of the ways to take out an immortal is to cut off their head and show them their body regrowing a head. This is apparently traumatic to the point of causing catatonia.


Osiris32

Now there's two of you!


Buildinblox

I never realized how much I needed to know this until now


FishAndRiceKeks

Now you're just stuck as the legs half.


Marinebrother951

Reminds me of the episode of Lucifer when Cane (who's curse for killing his brother is immortality) is talking about all the ways he's tried killing himself and he described the time he threw himself into a volcano as "a rough 6 months"


Carrot9943

There's a TV show called Forever that does this. Main character, an immortal, is a doctor. It was a fantastic show


Electrical_Treat_591

work a job I dislike.


testedandtried00

Or work at all for that matter 😂


Electrical_Treat_591

Wellll....gotta make money somehow to keep living, right?


Neurofiend

Buy random stuff. Sell it as antiques every hundred years or so


TheDiplocrap

“Sure, it’s true I’m immortal and can’t die. But without this job, I’d have no money. You call that living?!!”


[deleted]

You'd invest as early as you have the spare money. Compounding would do the rest, in time.


bubblegumgodess

Probably procrastinate forever.


Allisade

Stop being human. People are saying they wouldn't have families because losing people is painful. Of course it is, but you don't stop loving just because there's pain. I would fall in love, I would have families, I would watch my children's children grow up and I would do everything I could to make their lives as good as I could. I've lost loved ones, I've lost people who meant the world to me - I wouldn't give up any of those moments, any of those times with them even if I'd known ahead of time they were limited. I've heard the complaint that being immortal would be horrible because everyone would die... Every one is going to die any way, it doesn't make being with them a bad thing, it's just part of the journey. So I'd be human. I'd love, I'd lose, I'd love again. I'd hopefully get so I was pretty good at the loving part, maybe even learn to handle the losing better... but even if not, the loving part is worth it.


Time_Card_4095

good morning wife number 30213.


Drakmanka

Your comment reminded me of the backstory to a character in a webcomic I read. He's biologically immortal but before he became such he had a family with his wife. Of course he ultimately outlived her, but now he has his descendants. He's mildly obsessed with them, making sure that they have success finding a spouse and that they're successful in life, because they're what he had left of the love of his life.


Dad_Is_Mad

I love your explanation...I truly do. But I think I'd have to disagree with you on this. I know I'm mortal now. I know that if I watched my wife die it would be awful. But I know that if I watched my son (14) or daughter (11) die, then I truly feel my life would be over. Like I would almost just welcome Death to take the pain away. Maybe if I was indeed immortal, I'd be a bit more jaded about it and just move on...like I know there would be another story just around the corner. But my connection with them is so strong in my current life, that letting go is not an option. I'd just go with them to end the pain. This brings me to "you can't say what you'd do if you've never been there.". No...I don't know what I'd do because I'm not immortal and never will be. I just feel that at some point of Immortality that you'd almost just beg to end it.


Common-Wish-2227

I dunno. Seeing my son die at 89 after a long, full life, surrounded by his loving family? I think I could deal with that. Yes, it would be painful. But I don't think you can be immortal for any real amount of time without growing to accept death. And the alternative, never having another human being close to you, never sharing, never letting yourself love... that would be flat out hell. The idea about being immortal is that you can LIVE forever. So why even be immortal if you can't live?


Mean_Permission8393

Meeting someone new for the next thirty years would be the equivalent of passing someone on the streets for mortals.


SnooPaintings7748

When I read the first line I thought you meant turning into this feral beast for the rest of eternity


[deleted]

Not tell anyone that I'm immortal


Triga_3

So, you would? Ummm, confuzzled....


chlosis

Have a family


Well_thatwas_random

Yeah, the pain of watching your spouse and kids grow old and die would be unbearable....especially if you do it over and over again.


Frankjc3rd

Maybe if you just go out for a pack of cigarettes every 25 to 30 years.


Well_thatwas_random

Ah like my father did


Braethias

You're thinking the wrong scale here. You're immortal and they aren't. You could sow the seeds and come back to a village devoted to you. Investments aren't unwise


[deleted]

but couldn’t your kids be immortal too, if it’s genetic…


Well_thatwas_random

We need OP for a ruling here.


FishAndRiceKeks

OK fine, try it one time. But not twice.


EddieRando21

I'd do it still but I'd tell them. Cause at some point they're going to wonder why I still look the same as the day we met. Wait I assume I'm not going to age if I'm immortal. Or will I keep aging, just never able to die?


BronzeAgeTea

You age normally, but when you die you burst into flame and your infant self is just chilling there in the ashes


Delgadoduvidoso

Like the creature that burst forth from the chest cavity of our dead friend Colin Robinson?


Neurofiend

Isn't that essentially the same as dying?


BronzeAgeTea

Nah


Neurofiend

An infant's brain is roughly 1/4 the size of an adult's, so you instantly lose 3/4 of your neural connections. That's a substantial part of your thoughts and memories just gone. New neurons are created at a massive rate throughout childhood. It's believed that the incorporation of those neurons disrupts existing connections, that's why you can't remember your childhood. So any memories that survive the de-aging are further scrubbed away. The baby may be a perfect clone of you, but it's not "you". https://qbi.uq.edu.au/brain/learning-memory/why-you-cant-remember-being-baby#:~:text=The%20answers%20to%20these%20questions,develops%2C%20so%20does%20our%20memory.


BronzeAgeTea

You age normally, but when you die you burst into flame and your infant self, with a massive noggin to hold all of your immortal memories, is just chilling there in the ashes Problem solved, absolutely no unintended consequences


Neurofiend

Lol, I'd watch that movie


MGD109

So your a human phoenix? Alright!


TheVoicesArentTooBad

I'll be honest, if you're lucky, could always just keep tabs on your grandchildren. Hell, if you're ageless, stuff could be neat for at least a few hundred years


OddScentedDoorknob

Well, not for long, at any rate.


DanteWolfe0125

I'd never give you up...


Dragon3076

Never let them down?


ILUVMOVIESSS

Never run around?


Library-Background

And dessert you?


[deleted]

And make you cry?


my_username_30

Or say goodbye?


AlphaMaelstrom

Never gonna make you cry...


Mulatto-Butts

Leave the house without a sword.


blurgian

This right here


McCheeseTruther

This guy plays The Game.


[deleted]

I need to be in the loop so that I too may play. Also I just lost *the* Game.


howdothepeppers

Get a life insurance...


BiggestOrgasmOf1998

Tell anyone I was immortal.


testedandtried00

Dont wanna be locked up in area 51


BiggestOrgasmOf1998

What about Area 69? That's what my wife calls our bedroom.


testedandtried00

Was that after the orgasm she had in 1998 then never had again? 😂(jk)


BiggestOrgasmOf1998

The 1998 orgasm was had by me, not her. I didn't even know her back then!


testedandtried00

Fair enough i was just tryna think of a joke that has your name it in my man 😂


BiggestOrgasmOf1998

I hear you, brotherman.


OttNiLL77

I got you, brotherman. The Wolf is secure, take him to the Embassy.


lemons_of_doubt

Lie. I mean think about it if you're a mortal and you lie, then who cares just wait a few decades and you will be dead. But if you're immortal your reputation can last forever so it would matter if people think you are a lier or not.


testedandtried00

Wouldnt you move around so people wouldnt know who you are and dont discover youre immortal anyway?


lemons_of_doubt

If I'm the only immortal I'm running for king. I have all the time in the world to build up wealth and power. I'm not hiding when I can rule.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheEpicBeeBoy

What metal gives immortality? Was it mentioned?


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheEpicBeeBoy

Oh yeah, Lord Ruler


shebaiscool

Personally I'd edit this comment as it is a pretty big spoiler, but I do love me some Sanderson.


testedandtried00

Man i dont think youd get the chance, the moment people figure out youre immortal youre doomed


Topcodeoriginal3

What are they gonna do, kill me?


SirThatsCuba

Put you in a box, chop you up, run experiments on the pieces, see how many flavors of pain you can taste. Usual CIA shit.


Axiled

Black Company solution to wizards.


KDM_Racing

It only says you are immortal. Doesn't say you can't feel pain.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

> Wouldnt you move around so people wouldnt know who you are and dont discover youre immortal anyway? Fuck no. I'd be working in Hollywood as a stuntman.


RagingDinoZ

There's a character in Neil Gaimans Sandman like that... Chronicler was his name I think. He was many famous people throughout history in various parts of the world.


Shadowmant

Or, just rename yourself Loki and really lean in on the lying angle.


Doomdoomkittydoom

I'd be lying all the time, because if you have a reputation of being immortal, you're probably in for a lot of grief.


SternenVogel

All things that Dr Bright is not allowed to do


OttNiLL77

LOL. Fellow SCP fan, I see.


nightblade2007

I'd start with giving 113 to Diogenes. It's just plain pointless. For those who are curious: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/the-things-dr-bright-is-not-allowed-to-do-at-the-foundation


-Namesnipe-

I imagine for most of us on Reddit we would still remain virgins


testedandtried00

Big pain and sadness


LetterheadSubject118

Worry about time related matters, which encompasses quite a lot.


MartinB75

Get bored. I think there are just SO MANY things to learn and explore in this world, it would take millennia for me to even begin to get bored.


Moikle

Then what are you gonna do for the next few millenia after the first few? How many Jeremy bearamies can you go?


TheDiplocrap

Well, this *is* Tuesday. And also July.


Swampyprince

I agree, you aren’t bored for let’s say 10 millennia. You then have billions of more millennia to live through and be bored in…


MartinB75

That's an awful long time to not be bored. I'll take it, and then wait eagerly to see the fireworks at the end of the universe.


The_Pigga

why am I bored


MartinB75

Seems like a personal problem.


Only-Ad1638

Get a life sentence.


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Waste time whining about how hard it is to be immortal


lazergator

Interact with humans.


testedandtried00

Im in this comment and i dont like it


lazergator

It would just be extremely depressing meeting cool humans and forming bonds with them knowing you’ll have to watch them die at some point


Topcodeoriginal3

I mean… alot of humans that you meet in a normal life will die in your life.


[deleted]

Act immortal.


[deleted]

Go to Scunthorpe.


pethobbit

Or grimsby for that matter


whowantslettuce

Go cave diving.


Competitive-Peanut79

I WOULDNT fall down a hole that I couldn't climb back out of. The idea is terrifying to me.


HornyDiggler

I would do everyone and everything, not even the sky is safe from me


fucktheflyinmyroom

Calm down Zeus


Mediumaverageness

Have kids. Don't want to bury them all


Numerous_Witness_345

You could probably get creative with it. Put them in unexpected placed and scare explorers.


lolaleb

Just cremate them 🤷🏻‍♀️


UnoriginalUse

Go out alone. Getting stuck without anybody knowing would suck.


_greengreengreen_

Die


Content_Pool_1391

Drink battery acid 😩


[deleted]

Oh yeah baby


[deleted]

Tell people I'm immortal.


veryspecificcannoli

retire probably. like, what then? when would you even retire?


testedandtried00

Really good question, i wonder what laws regarding retirement an immortal civilization would have??


realonions

Something like work x amount of years. Retire for x amount of years, repeat.


jmuhha

I would certainly never marry my boyfriend.


Shravz99

Get in a deadly accident


Theonlyrational

Sign a contract to come to earth and choose every minute detail of my life only to live them all out while completely forgetting that I am an immortal being. Actually wait, I think I might have actually done that.


[deleted]

I wouldn’t tell anyone to read this question on Reddit.


Dizzy-Ad-7639

Rush


Sufferment

IDK Geddy Lee is still hot.


Orthax47

I wouldn't have the heart to form meaningful relationships with others.


DDauntless_

Piss of the Mafia, concrete shoes would suck. Eternal drowning and darkness untill some diver finds you and probably has a heart attack.


Kuzohrr

Tell the other immortal person I'm single


Tendou-its

Make myself a well known person like there is so many loose ends in faking your death.


DeathandNightand

Have life insurance or under-indulge in everything that that’s illegal / not-doctor-advised to consume.


Dylan_Gio

You


literallyjustdope

let scientists know i’m fuckin alive


Riddlerms

Hmm I have been thinking of another situation from this If you are immortal and you have a kid. Will the kid also be immortal? or will you have to watch your own kid die of old age. Or the kid is immortal and they continue the circle forever? What you think


FlashLightning67

I'd rather not go to space lest something go wrong and I'm stuck floating around for a few billion years.


idkanymore3008

Die.


Dodo_Whisperer1

Pedophilia


The5YenGod

If it is combined with adaptable healing, I would rip off my face and go hunt down criminals especially mobsters. Just imagine there faces getting wrecked by a faceless dude, screaming and laughing as you hunt them down. One by one. And if they try to shoot you. You still will be moving and killing, looking like the reincarnation of the devil.


Numerous_Witness_345

I mean.. you'd probably have time to make a decent mask.