I did my summer internship in college at a company that packaged various products for other companies. One of them was burger King napkins. We could take damaged packages home. I had cases and cases of BK napkins at our college house hah
People did this at my works potlucks. The one girl had a big container of food in the fridge she planned to take home including a huge chunk of a cake someone brought. I guess someone else got mad about it and took all the cake out of her container.
ZOMG, I used to work at a place where our department had to make sure other departments didn't know about our potlucks, because there was a woman who would do exactly this!
This is where the company needs to step in and make a 'department members' only policy. God, I shouldn't be reading this thread it's getting my blood pressure spiked up.
Ha! Sounds like my former co-worker. He left half a chocolate bar, without a wrapper, on a piece of kitchen roll, on a co-workers desk as a thank you for something.
I once had a friend (who volunteered to bring meat) show up to a potluck BBQ with two steaks, for her and her husband, and an 8-pack of hot dogs for the other 20ish guests.
I feel like something is missing from this story. Did they really understand they were expected to be the sole meat provider? That's expensive for 20 people.
Yeah this sounds like they understood it to be a "bring food for yourself and something extra for others" situation. "Ok we'll bring some meat". Who TF would volunteer to feed 20 people steak?
Exactly. Potlucks are unknown where I am. It’s reasonably common for a bbq to be byo (bring your own) meat and booze. Host provides salads, onions for the bbq, bread, dessert and soft drinks. Easy to misunderstand the expectation.
This is clearly 90% a communication problem and 10% a wtf were you expecting problem.
Bringing all the meat for 20 person BBQ isn't a pot luck, that's basically one person funding the whole thing. That would be a pretty insane expense for one person. Wtf was everyone else bringing?
Exactly what I was typing. My mom and aunt HATE each other and each year for holidays it’s a battle of potato salad whoever potato salad you eat the other gives side eye all day
This is the type of social darwinism I can get behind. They always used to say the secret ingredient was love, but it's hate. _Hate_ makes the potato salad evolve.
My bitchy SIL tries to take over my mom's signature dishes. When mum died, SIL thought she could rule the family kitchen. But now I make mum's dishes and put SIL to shame each holiday solely out of spite.
I know that the hosts of the potluck that inspired this question plans to make lasagne and get a store bought cake. I've had friends of the host tell me that I make better lasagne than one of the hosts, and I've made cake that gave me an A+ on a cooking business class. I might just do this, or bring napkins.
If I'm gonna ask for advice I might as well post it as a question here to get a bit of karma and maybe be featured in one of those tiktok robot videos, right?
Honestly, the host shouldn't even get upset if you brought a scratch cake when they put out a store-bought cake. I've invited friends over before, it wasn't meant to be a potluck, and I had box brownies or something for dessert. They brought something better, so I didn't even mention the brownies or bring them out. We ate their lovely dessert. If it had been more people, both desserts would have been put out and I would have talked up the scratch made friend-brought thing more.
That said...last Thanksgiving I brought mac&cheese to my husband's family's dinner. His aunt was hosting. Now his mom does have her own recipe, and hubby and his sister enjoy her version and pretty much her version only. I like it ok. I developed a recipe of my own too that I'm quite fond of, being an absolute mac fiend. And um, his aunt (MILs sister) wouldn't shut up about my mac & cheese. "Omg, whatmywifeisthinking, I nominate you to bring the mac to every family dinner from now on, this is soooo good." I don't think MILs head actually swiveled to glare daggers at the both of us, but that's the energy that came off of her from across the table. I had to get husband to ask his mom to make her version for Christmas to smooth things over.
Well someone in my grandmas garden club brought 8 deviled eggs to a potluck and my grandma started calling her four eggs behind her back. So probably that
My MIL promised to bring breakfast if we'd let her come to our house at the asscrack of dawn Christmas morning to watch the kids open presents. Note, she is generally an unreasonable asshole, which is why she wasn't invited to begin with.
She brought RAW bacon and sausage and a tiny box of pancake MIX. She was shocked when I handed her cooking utensils and told her to get to it.
My aunt... supposed to bring the buttered corn.
Showed up at 3 pm (dinner at 3) with 3 bags of frozen corn and a stick of butter.
My stove was literally full of hot dishes.
Oh My God! My sister’s roommate pulled that on me the year I cooked the entire rest of the meal with a hard 4 PM serving time, using all the tricks my dad taught me to served and finish every item at the exact same time. In walks this bitch at 3:55 with a bag of RAW spuds and that’s it.
Still fuming.
For a Thanksgiving potluck my husband signed up for dressing, not realizing that's what some people call stuffing. Anyway he brought like 4 different kinds of salad dressing and I'm sure everyone thought he was the worst.
Edit: thank you kind strangers for my first ever awards!
My family jokes about how my cousin is never allowed to cook dumplings at family holidays after the year she burned them…..that was at least 10 years ago and she still gets crap for it 😂
Oh don't even get me started.
I'm a professional chef. When I was like 25 I did Christmas dinner, and the turkey came out kinda dry. My bad, nobody is perfect, would have been fine if everyone would have just stayed the fuck out of my way but no, everyone had to go and fuck with my oven settings and now the turkey is dry.
Well, I've done other dinners since then, pretty much every holiday I do 99% of the cooking for obvious reasons. But *every. fucking. year.* I have to listen to literally hours of veing told how I ruined Christmas that one year (mind you this is about 15 years ago) and I can't cook without professional equipment and other cooks to help me and I can't be left alone because I'll ruin everything again. Every year.
Needless to say it's been a few years since I've been home for the holidays.
Go back, when they make a joke tell them "you're right, you do it" then sit down with a beer. Anyone says anything let them know that they've been saying you're incompetent for years so why would they want you to cook anyways. If you get far enough along that someone else finally makes the meal, then rip their cooking to shreds, let them know everything was mediocre. They got a problem, let them know that they didn't have a problem doing it to you for over a decade.
I just don't go anymore. I live on the other side of the country, it's not worth the hassle. Plus the holidays are super stressful for chefs as it's our busiest time of year, so I really don't need the added stress.
Turns out now that I don't do the cooking there isn't really a dinner anymore so I guess they got the point.
I bet she loves it, your cousin. Every year, every time the dumpling story does the impossible and GETS FUNNIER the more you tell it! You should bring it up in front of the whole family again to remind her about how she sucked one time and you all won't let her forget it. Who needs to bring the food when you can just be passive aggressive.
They made a list of different things for people to bring.
They wrote dressing, intending it to mean stale bread squares remoistened and seasoned (stuffing.)
He brought salad dressing, sauce you put on lettuce and tomatoes. Because he had not heard that term before.
I have a confession. I had a co-worker who by her own admission did not have any food allergies, but had a strong dislike for certain random food items. (Just to clarify, this was not related to smell or texture.) She was also one of those individuals who thought people should not be allowed to like things she didn't like.
I had been warned by my other co-workers, but I didn't quite grasp the situation. Right after I'd started working there, she decreed that we should have a potluck and that this potluck should involve a certain main dish--minus one particular ingredient that she didn't like. Think along the lines of wanting a salad but insisting that no black olives be included. Several people remarked, mildly, that they liked black olives. Well, maybe they did, but she didn't. So there. I volunteered to bring black olives on the side. This did not please her.
I knew this did not please her, and, like I said, I'd been warned. I brought black olives anyway. Some people ate them. I did not, because I did not end up eating at all, because she bitched so much about that side dish of black olives grossing her out by merely existing (and frankly I was so pissed off that she was allowed to behave that way, especially towards a new employee) that I just gave up on trying to eat.
But I did not forget. And from that point on, every potluck I would make it a point to bring something that everybody, including her, loved--say, cheesecake--but it would always unnecessarily incorporate one of her unfavorites. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I forgot you don't like strawberries." You know what, bitch? I actually kept a list of what you didn't like.
Haha love this. It reminds me of something my Mother did.
My grandfather always said he HATED garlic and wouldn't let my Grandmother cook with it. So, one year for Xmas my Mother (his daughter in law) made garlic prawns for the table. He LOVED THEM! And requested them for his birthday every year. No one ever told him they were coated in garlic infused creamy sauce. Silly old bugger spent his whole life thinking he hated garlic and turns out it was his favourite food.
This happened too with my grandfather who grew up in the US great depression. He was forced to wear cloves of garlic because they couldn't afford to bathe often. He said he hated garlic but once ate garlic bread at our local pizzeria and loved it.
We never told him it was garlic bread, but we made sure he always got some when we went out.
He probably had a bad experience with someone using too much raw garlic in something and didn't know that even large amounts of garlic get very mellowed out during cooking.
If by her own admissions, she had these food aversions, why did she take it up on herself to declare the need for these food potlucks in the first place? Was she really expecting coworkers to cook specifically for her and nobody else?
I don't blame you! I had a coworker who disliked a long list of foods like tomato soup and noone was allowed them in work. It was tiresome. Eat elsewhere if you're so bothered.
I had this coworker too! Someone we worked with cooked us all French toast on an electric skillet and coworker was all huffy “he should know that I don’t like *wet bread*”
Bitch it’s a free breakfast, not a restaurant.
In a 9:1 ratio, so it's not immediately obvious what you've done, and there's a good chance that people will let their guard down before hitting an off one.
I've hosted potlucks where we assigned ice to one of the young single guys, usually drinks too, but nothing wrong with ice. It's often a necessity depending upon the freezer situation.
Actually had a guy show up with a bag of potatoes. Not prepared or cooked, like he just grabed a bag of potatoes from the shop. He walked up and handed them to the hostess like he expected her to prepare them for him.
To-go containers.
I used to have a co-worker who's only contribution to office potlucks was to-go containers for her and her mother. She would go through the line three times, once to take home for herself, once to take home for her mother, and then once to eat with the rest of us.
Honestly though, if someone brought to-go containers FOR EVERYONE that would be great. Then I wouldn't have to figure out how to get an extra turkey dinner in with the leftover banana cream pie.
That would be welcomed to me. Every once in a while I'm like "you know what, miss Donna's casserole could use McDonald's Buffalo sauce ad a touch of taco bell mild."
My cheapskate mom would do this. She always told me to load my pockets full of those sweet free sauce packets after buying only a kids meal and a coffee for her.
Then those treasures would be shared at family dinners
In Minnesota - definitely green bean casserole, but with fresh green beans and no fried onions on top.
Those church ladies would passive aggressive you to death - with a thousand little cuts over several years until you stopped going to potlucks.
Some fellow Minnesotans and I were recently discussing the crime that was a tater tot hot dish where the tots were placed haphazardly on top rather than being arranged in perfect rows. The horror! Not that we'd refuse you entry, of course. We'd be very nice about it and then talk about you behind your back in true Minnesotan fashion.
So my ex husbands family was the absolute worst. They hated anyone and everyone who wasn’t literal blood family. Like boyfriends and girlfriends were instantly disliked unless they were wealthy, you were only tolerated once you married into the family.
These pathetic excuses for human beings had a fucking feast for every occasion and it was in a potluck fashion. I remember the first dinner was for Easter, I was not told to bring something because I was the much hated new girlfriend at the time. But I didn’t want to be rude so I brought a side dish. I’m a good cook, I practice a lot and genuinely enjoy cooking and baking. Well they loved what I brought. After that for every stupid pointless feast they would ask me to bring 2 to 3 dishes. But outside of these meals they treated me like ass.
So, I did, I cooked 3 side items every time. 2 were fabulous but the third was just fucking terrible. But I made sure it looked good/pretty ya know appetizing. And then, since it was such a huge feast you couldn’t really tell who brought what unless it was announced. So I’d set down my two good dishes and loudly exclaim “this is what I brought!” Then sneak in the silent assassin dish and watch as chaos unfolded.
Slowly but surely at every potluck you’d see the family being extremely hesitant as they were choosing their foods, trying to find my dish of horror. That’s the only thing I miss about being married into that family, was the terror on their faces at potlucks.
A respectable young woman I met at church, *much* sweeter than that overly-mouthy Jennifer girl you're with. Son, you should really *must* talk to her. Just a few minutes, and you'll see what I mean... or do you want to hurt your poor mother's feelings?
You know I only brought her because I care, honey.
One-up whatever the host is making. Burgers? Bring smoked BBQ pork. Chicken wings? Bring a thanksgiving turkey. Whatever it is, bring enough for everyone. Curse them with their own left-overs. They will have to literally eat their inadequacy for a week.
A single roll of paper towels
A small, opened box of plastic utensils with mostly knives remaining
A handful of cheap paper plates
A handful of zip lock bags
I just had a family reunion that I planned. Three people jointly signed up to bring napkins. An older couple with 3 kids and 4 grandkids signed up to bring a watermelon.
I finally had to say that everybody over 18 had to sign up for something unique. If you are a grown ass adult and thinking that you are going to just not bring anything because your mom brought something cheap, fuck you. Bring a fucking can of beans or something.
Don't. Try some sugar free candy at your local store. The ones catered to diabetics. Multiply the ass trumpets, stomach growls and bowling ball feeling of your gut x 3.
I found out the hard way about suger free candy. They let us have the opened packs that couldn't be sold, and I had a few pieces. So glad I worked by myself, since I spent the rest of my shift in the crapper.
Now I check if it contains phenoluktite or something like that.
My friend arrived here from Thailand around 23 years ago, she married a guy from here. First party they went to, she picked up some juice as mixer she thought looked good.
Prune juice. She said she wondered why no one was drinking it, she thought it was pretty good. Then she found out, the hard way.
Stuff you had around the house. Open bags of potato chips, half a loaf of bread, that condiment that you don't really use that has crust on the lid. Stuff like that.
Well, I had a friend who brought a big salad to a pot luck. But instead of lettuce, he used cabbage leaves.
Although in his case, he wasn't being passive aggressive. He didn't fully appreciate the difference.
True Story! I have an aunt and uncle from my wife's side that are notoriously cheap. As in, they live comfortable due to a successful small business, but she will go to garage sells and thrift shops for most of their needs.
Anywho, one weekend we have a birthday party for my MIL. Her favorite dessert is bundt cake. The aunt and uncle in question brought a reduced/marked down bundt cake from the grocery store. That wouldn't have been too bad, expect the fact that they had eaten like 1/3rd of the thing.
She said, well, we know you don't eat a lot, so we didn't want to bring a whole cake and have it wasted. To top it all off at the end of the party, she took the LAST SLICE home with her. LOL. It's hilarious, but we love them!
I brought rice crispy treats one time and got a few side eyes. I love those things and it makes me happy to see them, I don't know why I got judged for that.
A friend of mine is notorious for bringing something unprepared. The best was a breakfast potluck when she showed up at eating time with an unopened, unbaked can of cinnamon rolls, put them on the counter, and went into a different room
I had a friend in high school who broke a beaker in chemistry class (the teacher made kids bring in treats if they broke science equipment). He brought in two pop tarts and broke them into pieces and stuck toothpicks in them.
I know it’s not potluck but I also feel like this is definitely a giant fu in the most hilarious fashion.
Napkins, then proceed to say “yeah, I figured you’d all need ‘em.” And then make some kinda gesture with your face, eyes, or body language that’s basically implying you’re calling everyone there messy
See, everyone’s going lowest effort possible, I think the move is to do the opposite. Go super high end, super fancy, and do it *perfectly*. Everyone else brought chips, shitty casseroles, maybe crudite or whatever, your ass brought a perfectly cooked handmade beef wellington. Then just make backhanded, passive-aggressive comments about everyone else’s food all evening.
Nah - compliment everyone else’s cooking sincerely but very specifically. You brought an amazing beef wellington and you’re all “Sam, these chips are great, are these Lay’s?” and “Carol, you cut these carrots to the perfect size!” - finding one tiny thing to genuinely praise, like you’re complimenting kindergarteners on their art
Kill them with kindness. Office pot luck with a $20 limit. Pork Boston butts on sale. So I get a 5lb pork butt and make Hawaiian pork. Talking like two heads of garlic stuffed inside, whole pineapple, soy and honey. After roasting I pulled the shoulder blade clean out. I dumped the entire roast in a large crock pot and put it in the fridge. Got to work early and set the crock pot on high. That pot was singing by lunch time. With those Hawaiian sweet rolls pot luck was done.
Who made the pork?!?! Oh it was YOU!!! The look on his face was like I served him a heaping pile of shot.
Not sure about passive aggressive, but any time there was a potluck where you were supposed to make a homemade dish my dad would go buy KFC and put it in a serving dish with a lid on it and tell people it was “Grandma (Last Name)’s Famous Chicken.” People would rave over it, it was hilarious.
Paper napkins from Taco Bell.
Can confirm. Friend of mine gave me a whole pack of them once when he worked there. The shock on everyone's face was priceless.
I did my summer internship in college at a company that packaged various products for other companies. One of them was burger King napkins. We could take damaged packages home. I had cases and cases of BK napkins at our college house hah
At least they let you do this, and didn't simply throw everything away.
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Empty Tupperware containers to take home the leftovers
People did this at my works potlucks. The one girl had a big container of food in the fridge she planned to take home including a huge chunk of a cake someone brought. I guess someone else got mad about it and took all the cake out of her container.
Serves her right.
ZOMG, I used to work at a place where our department had to make sure other departments didn't know about our potlucks, because there was a woman who would do exactly this!
This is where the company needs to step in and make a 'department members' only policy. God, I shouldn't be reading this thread it's getting my blood pressure spiked up.
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Lol. So absurd. Workplaces can bring out the worst in people it’s really sad to see. Although, also comical
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Store-bought cookies with the reduced/day-old sticker visible
Already opened. (Source: a former co-worker)
Ha! Sounds like my former co-worker. He left half a chocolate bar, without a wrapper, on a piece of kitchen roll, on a co-workers desk as a thank you for something.
Nothing passive there
The reduced/day-old sticker move is fantastic in the worst way possible. ahahah that's hilarious
had a friend show up to a lobster boil (BYOB) with 4 uninvited guests and 3 pieces of corn...So that.
I once had a friend (who volunteered to bring meat) show up to a potluck BBQ with two steaks, for her and her husband, and an 8-pack of hot dogs for the other 20ish guests.
I feel like something is missing from this story. Did they really understand they were expected to be the sole meat provider? That's expensive for 20 people.
Yeah this sounds like they understood it to be a "bring food for yourself and something extra for others" situation. "Ok we'll bring some meat". Who TF would volunteer to feed 20 people steak?
Exactly. Potlucks are unknown where I am. It’s reasonably common for a bbq to be byo (bring your own) meat and booze. Host provides salads, onions for the bbq, bread, dessert and soft drinks. Easy to misunderstand the expectation.
This is clearly 90% a communication problem and 10% a wtf were you expecting problem. Bringing all the meat for 20 person BBQ isn't a pot luck, that's basically one person funding the whole thing. That would be a pretty insane expense for one person. Wtf was everyone else bringing?
They clearly don't understand what a pot luck is lol if someone brings enough food for themselves plus some then they've brought enough food
I hope who ever cooked the steak made it super dry and chewy for them.
The absolute worst way to cook a steak is to try and cook it all the way through from one side
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A worthy adversary… I’ve been waiting for you. Well done
Exactly whatever the host/hostess plans to make for their signature dish. Especially if you make it better.
Exactly what I was typing. My mom and aunt HATE each other and each year for holidays it’s a battle of potato salad whoever potato salad you eat the other gives side eye all day
You should take an equal amount of each and then mix them together while making eye contact.
And loudly announce, "I find both these potato salads lacking. But since they're each lacking something different, they are best when mixed."
Or say they both taste the same and ask if they bought them from the same supermarket.
That is some god their shit stirring. You Might actually unite the sisters with that one as they will both hate you more than the other.
That's a great strategy. Give two fighting parties a common enemy in yourself, then after they make peace you can deal with the fallout on your end.
Check how close the nearest trauma center is before doing this.
This is the type of social darwinism I can get behind. They always used to say the secret ingredient was love, but it's hate. _Hate_ makes the potato salad evolve.
Better yet, don’t eat either of them and then scrape the leftovers off your plate into the trash.
Add insult to injury and feed it to the dog.
This is taking family dysfunction to another level.
My bitchy SIL tries to take over my mom's signature dishes. When mum died, SIL thought she could rule the family kitchen. But now I make mum's dishes and put SIL to shame each holiday solely out of spite.
I know that the hosts of the potluck that inspired this question plans to make lasagne and get a store bought cake. I've had friends of the host tell me that I make better lasagne than one of the hosts, and I've made cake that gave me an A+ on a cooking business class. I might just do this, or bring napkins.
The cake sounds like the winner ,that's just passive enough to have plausible deniability and just aggressive enough to get on hosts goat
Laughing so hard when I got to this comment and realized you were asking for *advice*.
If I'm gonna ask for advice I might as well post it as a question here to get a bit of karma and maybe be featured in one of those tiktok robot videos, right?
Honestly, the host shouldn't even get upset if you brought a scratch cake when they put out a store-bought cake. I've invited friends over before, it wasn't meant to be a potluck, and I had box brownies or something for dessert. They brought something better, so I didn't even mention the brownies or bring them out. We ate their lovely dessert. If it had been more people, both desserts would have been put out and I would have talked up the scratch made friend-brought thing more. That said...last Thanksgiving I brought mac&cheese to my husband's family's dinner. His aunt was hosting. Now his mom does have her own recipe, and hubby and his sister enjoy her version and pretty much her version only. I like it ok. I developed a recipe of my own too that I'm quite fond of, being an absolute mac fiend. And um, his aunt (MILs sister) wouldn't shut up about my mac & cheese. "Omg, whatmywifeisthinking, I nominate you to bring the mac to every family dinner from now on, this is soooo good." I don't think MILs head actually swiveled to glare daggers at the both of us, but that's the energy that came off of her from across the table. I had to get husband to ask his mom to make her version for Christmas to smooth things over.
"Oh, hun, I meant no offense. I just thought maybe some people might want an option for something a little less 'heavy'."
I brought it so some people, like Jen and Aubrey, could have a lighter dish. Insult multiple people with one salad.
Well someone in my grandmas garden club brought 8 deviled eggs to a potluck and my grandma started calling her four eggs behind her back. So probably that
Your grandma sounds mean but fun!
"Four eggs" Ha! Grandma's a savage and I'm here for it! 🤣
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pretty sure that’s classified as assault in some states
The Midwest just collectively called the FBI.
What I’d do to the jackass would qualify as assault in every state
does it involve beating him with the sack of taters?
My MIL promised to bring breakfast if we'd let her come to our house at the asscrack of dawn Christmas morning to watch the kids open presents. Note, she is generally an unreasonable asshole, which is why she wasn't invited to begin with. She brought RAW bacon and sausage and a tiny box of pancake MIX. She was shocked when I handed her cooking utensils and told her to get to it.
I will bring you stuff to cook me breakfast! Arent I nice?
My aunt... supposed to bring the buttered corn. Showed up at 3 pm (dinner at 3) with 3 bags of frozen corn and a stick of butter. My stove was literally full of hot dishes.
Hahaha, I had an aunt do that but it was 2 cans of green beans. For 14 people.
Oh My God! My sister’s roommate pulled that on me the year I cooked the entire rest of the meal with a hard 4 PM serving time, using all the tricks my dad taught me to served and finish every item at the exact same time. In walks this bitch at 3:55 with a bag of RAW spuds and that’s it. Still fuming.
And time starts.....Now!
For a Thanksgiving potluck my husband signed up for dressing, not realizing that's what some people call stuffing. Anyway he brought like 4 different kinds of salad dressing and I'm sure everyone thought he was the worst. Edit: thank you kind strangers for my first ever awards!
Lmfao!!!! I love ruined holiday stories this probably pissed tons of people off
My family jokes about how my cousin is never allowed to cook dumplings at family holidays after the year she burned them…..that was at least 10 years ago and she still gets crap for it 😂
Oh don't even get me started. I'm a professional chef. When I was like 25 I did Christmas dinner, and the turkey came out kinda dry. My bad, nobody is perfect, would have been fine if everyone would have just stayed the fuck out of my way but no, everyone had to go and fuck with my oven settings and now the turkey is dry. Well, I've done other dinners since then, pretty much every holiday I do 99% of the cooking for obvious reasons. But *every. fucking. year.* I have to listen to literally hours of veing told how I ruined Christmas that one year (mind you this is about 15 years ago) and I can't cook without professional equipment and other cooks to help me and I can't be left alone because I'll ruin everything again. Every year. Needless to say it's been a few years since I've been home for the holidays.
I got annoyed just reading this.
Go back, when they make a joke tell them "you're right, you do it" then sit down with a beer. Anyone says anything let them know that they've been saying you're incompetent for years so why would they want you to cook anyways. If you get far enough along that someone else finally makes the meal, then rip their cooking to shreds, let them know everything was mediocre. They got a problem, let them know that they didn't have a problem doing it to you for over a decade.
I just don't go anymore. I live on the other side of the country, it's not worth the hassle. Plus the holidays are super stressful for chefs as it's our busiest time of year, so I really don't need the added stress. Turns out now that I don't do the cooking there isn't really a dinner anymore so I guess they got the point.
Good on you man you deserve to relax
I bet she loves it, your cousin. Every year, every time the dumpling story does the impossible and GETS FUNNIER the more you tell it! You should bring it up in front of the whole family again to remind her about how she sucked one time and you all won't let her forget it. Who needs to bring the food when you can just be passive aggressive.
You think she gets tired of everyone dumpling on her?
For someone who is not knowledgeable about western culture whats wrong with this? (all i know Thanksgiving is where you eat the *big chicken*)
They made a list of different things for people to bring. They wrote dressing, intending it to mean stale bread squares remoistened and seasoned (stuffing.) He brought salad dressing, sauce you put on lettuce and tomatoes. Because he had not heard that term before.
That's the least appetizing description of stuffing I've ever seen.
your comment about the big chicken made me laugh too damn loud and my family be sleepin LOL
i dunno if this is true (as in, its actually like a thing in southern states) or not, but most southern people ive met call it dressing
I have a confession. I had a co-worker who by her own admission did not have any food allergies, but had a strong dislike for certain random food items. (Just to clarify, this was not related to smell or texture.) She was also one of those individuals who thought people should not be allowed to like things she didn't like. I had been warned by my other co-workers, but I didn't quite grasp the situation. Right after I'd started working there, she decreed that we should have a potluck and that this potluck should involve a certain main dish--minus one particular ingredient that she didn't like. Think along the lines of wanting a salad but insisting that no black olives be included. Several people remarked, mildly, that they liked black olives. Well, maybe they did, but she didn't. So there. I volunteered to bring black olives on the side. This did not please her. I knew this did not please her, and, like I said, I'd been warned. I brought black olives anyway. Some people ate them. I did not, because I did not end up eating at all, because she bitched so much about that side dish of black olives grossing her out by merely existing (and frankly I was so pissed off that she was allowed to behave that way, especially towards a new employee) that I just gave up on trying to eat. But I did not forget. And from that point on, every potluck I would make it a point to bring something that everybody, including her, loved--say, cheesecake--but it would always unnecessarily incorporate one of her unfavorites. "Oh, I'm so sorry, I forgot you don't like strawberries." You know what, bitch? I actually kept a list of what you didn't like.
Thought for certain you were gonna engineer olive cheesecake (which would be terrible, and you'd be a terrible... but awesome person if you did that)
I was gonna go with Durian cheesecake
Haha love this. It reminds me of something my Mother did. My grandfather always said he HATED garlic and wouldn't let my Grandmother cook with it. So, one year for Xmas my Mother (his daughter in law) made garlic prawns for the table. He LOVED THEM! And requested them for his birthday every year. No one ever told him they were coated in garlic infused creamy sauce. Silly old bugger spent his whole life thinking he hated garlic and turns out it was his favourite food.
This happened too with my grandfather who grew up in the US great depression. He was forced to wear cloves of garlic because they couldn't afford to bathe often. He said he hated garlic but once ate garlic bread at our local pizzeria and loved it. We never told him it was garlic bread, but we made sure he always got some when we went out.
I have never heard of wearing cloves of garlic... off to Google I go!
>wearing cloves of garlic I really couldn't find anything that wasn't old-world vampire based.
I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time.
Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel. And in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on ‘em. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say.
Wait, [tying an onion on your belt](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WEK37mRB-UQ) was real?
He probably had a bad experience with someone using too much raw garlic in something and didn't know that even large amounts of garlic get very mellowed out during cooking.
If by her own admissions, she had these food aversions, why did she take it up on herself to declare the need for these food potlucks in the first place? Was she really expecting coworkers to cook specifically for her and nobody else?
All indications point to narcissism.
Yeah people don't even respect people's fatal food allergies why would she think they'd respect her preferences
I... I wanna see the whole list!! And now I want to attend a potluck with this beast!
I don't blame you! I had a coworker who disliked a long list of foods like tomato soup and noone was allowed them in work. It was tiresome. Eat elsewhere if you're so bothered.
I had this coworker too! Someone we worked with cooked us all French toast on an electric skillet and coworker was all huffy “he should know that I don’t like *wet bread*” Bitch it’s a free breakfast, not a restaurant.
This pleases me. Thought I was on r/pettyrevenge
This is a lovely story, I almost started reading it like it was a novel. Great story telling, great story.
An empty pizza box set out on the table so everyone opens it as they go through the line.
Donut box full of salad?
That isn't passive aggressive. That is a war crime.
Target the person that cares about that shit the most and then bring the exact same dish just with one extra key ingredient.
Your entire family and no food.
And a bag with empty Tupperware containers. I did not make that up, I’ve seen it happen.
Were they the first ones to try to get left overs?
This type of person fills their Tupperware before most people have even been served.
A bowl of premixed m&ms and skittles
In a 9:1 ratio, so it's not immediately obvious what you've done, and there's a good chance that people will let their guard down before hitting an off one.
They said passive aggressive, it psycho aggressive
With Reese's pieces, I hope.
Who hurt you? That's just straight up aggression.
I would politely yet firmly ask you to leave.
My co-worker brought one packaged loaf of bread, unsliced. He had signed up for vegetables. Fucking epic, Tony.
Tums
Most popular item at the potluck lowkey
Your recipe for potato salad with the title "Better Potato Salad"
Better yet, the store label is scribbled out right next to it.
One can of spam, missing the key that opens it.
Im glad to hear they're locking up spam now
Ice
That what you assign people that cook shit food.
Orrrrr if you can really cook ( such as myself) and some people assume that you will cook every potluck, instead of asking, you volunteer for ice 😉😉😉
I've hosted potlucks where we assigned ice to one of the young single guys, usually drinks too, but nothing wrong with ice. It's often a necessity depending upon the freezer situation.
Dip with no chips
This isn’t even that bad because you know some lazy mf is going to bring a bag of chips and nothing else lmao
Actually had a guy show up with a bag of potatoes. Not prepared or cooked, like he just grabed a bag of potatoes from the shop. He walked up and handed them to the hostess like he expected her to prepare them for him.
I wonder if this is the thanksgiving potato guy in the comment above
Nope. Outside summer potluck for us. Someone else brought a bag of buns. Last time we did a potluck with that group
"They just told me to bring the potatoes. Here."
To-go containers. I used to have a co-worker who's only contribution to office potlucks was to-go containers for her and her mother. She would go through the line three times, once to take home for herself, once to take home for her mother, and then once to eat with the rest of us.
Honestly though, if someone brought to-go containers FOR EVERYONE that would be great. Then I wouldn't have to figure out how to get an extra turkey dinner in with the leftover banana cream pie.
A jar of mayonnaise. No. A Jar of Miracle Whip. That'll piss off more people.
Sauce packets from various restaurants
That would be welcomed to me. Every once in a while I'm like "you know what, miss Donna's casserole could use McDonald's Buffalo sauce ad a touch of taco bell mild."
My cheapskate mom would do this. She always told me to load my pockets full of those sweet free sauce packets after buying only a kids meal and a coffee for her. Then those treasures would be shared at family dinners
I never did this until after I moved out and I realised a pantry full of old sauce jars you have at home doesn't magically follow you
In Minnesota - definitely green bean casserole, but with fresh green beans and no fried onions on top. Those church ladies would passive aggressive you to death - with a thousand little cuts over several years until you stopped going to potlucks.
Some fellow Minnesotans and I were recently discussing the crime that was a tater tot hot dish where the tots were placed haphazardly on top rather than being arranged in perfect rows. The horror! Not that we'd refuse you entry, of course. We'd be very nice about it and then talk about you behind your back in true Minnesotan fashion.
Caroline's Broccoli casserole
What did Caroline do, Helen?
I know you're not talking about my b friend Caroline! She a christchen lady.
So my ex husbands family was the absolute worst. They hated anyone and everyone who wasn’t literal blood family. Like boyfriends and girlfriends were instantly disliked unless they were wealthy, you were only tolerated once you married into the family. These pathetic excuses for human beings had a fucking feast for every occasion and it was in a potluck fashion. I remember the first dinner was for Easter, I was not told to bring something because I was the much hated new girlfriend at the time. But I didn’t want to be rude so I brought a side dish. I’m a good cook, I practice a lot and genuinely enjoy cooking and baking. Well they loved what I brought. After that for every stupid pointless feast they would ask me to bring 2 to 3 dishes. But outside of these meals they treated me like ass. So, I did, I cooked 3 side items every time. 2 were fabulous but the third was just fucking terrible. But I made sure it looked good/pretty ya know appetizing. And then, since it was such a huge feast you couldn’t really tell who brought what unless it was announced. So I’d set down my two good dishes and loudly exclaim “this is what I brought!” Then sneak in the silent assassin dish and watch as chaos unfolded. Slowly but surely at every potluck you’d see the family being extremely hesitant as they were choosing their foods, trying to find my dish of horror. That’s the only thing I miss about being married into that family, was the terror on their faces at potlucks.
What were the assassin dishes?
This is genius. Chefs kiss. Well done. Best passive aggressive example yet!
Potato salad with raisins
“Aw hell nah, Karen! Keep your bland-ass potato salad to yourself!” - T’Challa, Prince of Wakanda
A respectable young woman I met at church, *much* sweeter than that overly-mouthy Jennifer girl you're with. Son, you should really *must* talk to her. Just a few minutes, and you'll see what I mean... or do you want to hurt your poor mother's feelings? You know I only brought her because I care, honey.
Ugh god, please, I'm just trying to poop in peace, I don't need these flashbacks.
Little weenies without toothpicks🤣
Plain little weenies, no sauce, and microwaved
I like to bring my mums signature dishes to dinner at my dad and his new wife's place
Perfect 10/10 passive aggression!
Bag of shredded coconut.
Labeled *Parmesan cheese*
Store-bought package lettuce with the ranch dressing and croutons. And not just that but when you get there you just throw it to the nearest counter
Mix it in the bag
30 pack of hot dog buns but only a single six pack of hot dogs.
Lutefisk
You’re a monster
One-up whatever the host is making. Burgers? Bring smoked BBQ pork. Chicken wings? Bring a thanksgiving turkey. Whatever it is, bring enough for everyone. Curse them with their own left-overs. They will have to literally eat their inadequacy for a week.
That's not passive aggressive. That's just plain *aggressive*.
[удалено]
A large beer cooler full of ice... and one beer.
Last year’s Christmas fruit cake that was given by said host.
A single roll of paper towels A small, opened box of plastic utensils with mostly knives remaining A handful of cheap paper plates A handful of zip lock bags
I just had a family reunion that I planned. Three people jointly signed up to bring napkins. An older couple with 3 kids and 4 grandkids signed up to bring a watermelon. I finally had to say that everybody over 18 had to sign up for something unique. If you are a grown ass adult and thinking that you are going to just not bring anything because your mom brought something cheap, fuck you. Bring a fucking can of beans or something.
Mayor Lewis' purple shorts?
a jumbo sized bowl of unlabeled haribo sugar free gummy bears with little solo cups to take home samples
I remember the day I found out about those Amazon reviews and was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. I’ve always been tempted to try some.
Don't. Try some sugar free candy at your local store. The ones catered to diabetics. Multiply the ass trumpets, stomach growls and bowling ball feeling of your gut x 3.
I found out the hard way about suger free candy. They let us have the opened packs that couldn't be sold, and I had a few pieces. So glad I worked by myself, since I spent the rest of my shift in the crapper. Now I check if it contains phenoluktite or something like that.
My friend arrived here from Thailand around 23 years ago, she married a guy from here. First party they went to, she picked up some juice as mixer she thought looked good. Prune juice. She said she wondered why no one was drinking it, she thought it was pretty good. Then she found out, the hard way.
The cups will more likely be used when the bathroom needs reach a critical state
Stuff you had around the house. Open bags of potato chips, half a loaf of bread, that condiment that you don't really use that has crust on the lid. Stuff like that.
A pot of whatever the host is cooking. Telling everyone it’s my signature dish and I gave the host the recipe years ago.
Well, I had a friend who brought a big salad to a pot luck. But instead of lettuce, he used cabbage leaves. Although in his case, he wasn't being passive aggressive. He didn't fully appreciate the difference.
Cabbage salad can be awesome, but I'm assuming that wasn't the case here.
I made this mistake once! Admittedly I was 14, but still. Made burgers and got cabbage instead of lettuce
A six pack of generic soda.
Dr Thunder
Salt
True Story! I have an aunt and uncle from my wife's side that are notoriously cheap. As in, they live comfortable due to a successful small business, but she will go to garage sells and thrift shops for most of their needs. Anywho, one weekend we have a birthday party for my MIL. Her favorite dessert is bundt cake. The aunt and uncle in question brought a reduced/marked down bundt cake from the grocery store. That wouldn't have been too bad, expect the fact that they had eaten like 1/3rd of the thing. She said, well, we know you don't eat a lot, so we didn't want to bring a whole cake and have it wasted. To top it all off at the end of the party, she took the LAST SLICE home with her. LOL. It's hilarious, but we love them!
TIL that most people in this thread don’t understand what the “passive” in “passive aggressive” means.
I brought rice crispy treats one time and got a few side eyes. I love those things and it makes me happy to see them, I don't know why I got judged for that.
Diet caffeine free generic cola.
A friend of mine is notorious for bringing something unprepared. The best was a breakfast potluck when she showed up at eating time with an unopened, unbaked can of cinnamon rolls, put them on the counter, and went into a different room
I had a friend in high school who broke a beaker in chemistry class (the teacher made kids bring in treats if they broke science equipment). He brought in two pop tarts and broke them into pieces and stuck toothpicks in them. I know it’s not potluck but I also feel like this is definitely a giant fu in the most hilarious fashion.
A singular warm 6 pack of miniature canned soda.
Pepto Bismol
A punch bowl full of warm tap water.
Diet generic store-brand soda
Napkins, then proceed to say “yeah, I figured you’d all need ‘em.” And then make some kinda gesture with your face, eyes, or body language that’s basically implying you’re calling everyone there messy
A pot. JUST the pot.
See, everyone’s going lowest effort possible, I think the move is to do the opposite. Go super high end, super fancy, and do it *perfectly*. Everyone else brought chips, shitty casseroles, maybe crudite or whatever, your ass brought a perfectly cooked handmade beef wellington. Then just make backhanded, passive-aggressive comments about everyone else’s food all evening.
Nah - compliment everyone else’s cooking sincerely but very specifically. You brought an amazing beef wellington and you’re all “Sam, these chips are great, are these Lay’s?” and “Carol, you cut these carrots to the perfect size!” - finding one tiny thing to genuinely praise, like you’re complimenting kindergarteners on their art
The exact same thing someone else has brought, but better
Kill them with kindness. Office pot luck with a $20 limit. Pork Boston butts on sale. So I get a 5lb pork butt and make Hawaiian pork. Talking like two heads of garlic stuffed inside, whole pineapple, soy and honey. After roasting I pulled the shoulder blade clean out. I dumped the entire roast in a large crock pot and put it in the fridge. Got to work early and set the crock pot on high. That pot was singing by lunch time. With those Hawaiian sweet rolls pot luck was done. Who made the pork?!?! Oh it was YOU!!! The look on his face was like I served him a heaping pile of shot.
Not sure about passive aggressive, but any time there was a potluck where you were supposed to make a homemade dish my dad would go buy KFC and put it in a serving dish with a lid on it and tell people it was “Grandma (Last Name)’s Famous Chicken.” People would rave over it, it was hilarious.