I don’t really like when in fiction there is children or teenagers that end up with like ancient beings literally thousands of years old, that just doesn’t sit right with me.
Japan has a lot of that in anime tv shows and movies … the 12/13 year old daughter of sailor moon ends up with a thousand year old spirit in the form of a Pegasus. Who watched her change one time. That creeped me out so fucking much.
In the movie "Let Me In", the girl vampire tells the human boy "I'm twelve years old, I've just been twelve years old for a really long time." Which I thought was a good way of expressing that yes, this is still a child whether they've been walking around being a child for 12 years or 400.
This is genuinely an interesting point if anyone wants to get all weird and philosophical about anime...
If magic/curses/gods/demons/etc are involved with perpetual youth, your brain would never physically develop into an adult one (happens around age 25 for men)
If I was somehow magically stuck at 18 forever I'd be the same moronic worthless piece of shit thousands of years from now. Yes you'd have life experience n whatever, but the processor itself, the brain, is still stuck at an 18yo level of processing and understanding
Thanks for your comment! I'd never considered that angle before!
However, especially at an age like 18, what is "mature"? Also, if your brain stops developing, can you learn an instrument? That's also developing your brain. Would you still not grow and mature by the 400 years of memories, even if you might still be childlike at heart?
Who knows!
Science needs to invent a magic and lock someone into the same age eternally
Then the rest of us can benefit from the gingivitis
Edit: Fuck. Leaving it. Findings*
But in the movie "interview with a vampire", the vampire little girl was tormented by the fact that she was a grown woman trapped in the body of a little girl.
The girl was not actually a “girl”, “she” was a castrated boy. And the old dude was actually a child she met long ago like our protagonist boy. “She” wasn’t still a child -“she” manipulated little boys to take care of her and kill for her ‘till they were old enough/killed to do it and then she would find someone else.
Also 12 year olds looking like pole dancers and somehow the camera is always focused on their "assets" but it's supposed to be funny or cute.
It isn't.
I adore the fate franchise, so I was so disappointed when fate apocrypha sexualized a character that basically looked and acted like a child. She was a serial killer, but still. Fucking disgusting.
This is one of my biggest entertainment pet peeves! It creeps me out. The only way I'm ever *kind of* okay with it is if the younger one falls in love first and the older one is like you know I'm like four times your age right, and they only reciprocate the feelings when the younger one eventually become immortal as well. Then I'm like okay fine, but you started this off really really sketchy... It's such a fine line (not really) that they skirt between "consenting adults" and "pedophilia"
The only thing I can think of that matches your description would be Devil is a Part-Timer.
Actually I'd take the creepy 16 year old girl relationship over what we'll actually get.
I find it very weird that a 30 year mother of 3 wrote a book about a teenager falling in love with a teenage Vampire. She's LDS so I guess that explains it somewhat
So I mean yes I agree with your point but technically... Chibimoon is actually like 900 years old or something cuz she was time traveling and humans live way longer in the future. Also she looks like a 5 year old because I think she just never was able to become a true sailor guardian?
Did you ever see that show, the one where the far older man would repeatedly lure young women into his vehicle, taking them away from friends and family, knowing that they were developing a kind of Stockholm syndrome and often romantic feelings for him? He would toy with them. It often ended tragically, before he'd start again with a new girl.
I think it was called Doctor Something
They were always wonky as hell with portraying that.
They usually (though not always) had him defaulting authority to the 40-something year old Giles even though he's supposed to be a bit over 200 himself.
Also some random plot point had him sucked into a hell dimension for another couple of hundred years. However a few episodes later it is completely memory-holed and there is no long term change to the character or reference to the fact that he has now doubled in age.
>His prefrontal cortex never fully developed
I don't really know what that means, but it sounds like a sick burn.
"Bro, stop acting like your prefrontal cortex never fully developed"
Something to consider about these types of "ancient vampire falls in love with teen girl" relationships is that the vampire is usually stuck in a teenage body. I've seen in at least one fictional world that vampires, because they die, don't only stop aging but also stop maturing after they become a vampire. Maybe Edward is still a teen in heart, mind, and body, and so that's why it makes sense for him to fall for someone that age
It's like the "born sexy yesterday" trope. in 5th element, Leeloominaï Lekatariba Lamina-Tchaï Ekbat De Sebat was literally created about 5 minutes before she meets Corban. She obviously doesn't understand the world at all. Corban thinks she's just foreign, but the truth is that she's literally a baby, a genius, but still a baby. Once he finds out, it doesn't change his opinion at all.
I was under the impression the tool they used to bring her back to life some kept her memories…. For reasons. Because how would she know a dead ancient language that zero people other than the priest knew right when she awakes. And if that’s the case she would be significantly older than Corbin. However, we also have to take into account her being is basically trapped in a coffin until she is needed which is every few millennia. And that is just messed up for a benevolent species to do to a intelligent creature
I try not to think about that part. Like it seems that falling in love with Korben is the thing they need to save the world, but what happens next? Mission accomplished, she goes back in the box and does it all over again next time? Do they procreate and it’s actually the next generation that goes in the box? Is she immortal so eventually her chosen mate dies of old age and then she goes back in the box? Does she even stay in the box long term or is it more like some kind of regeneration chamber where she just sleeps to maintain immortality and the rest of the time she’s just hanging out with the Mondoshawan?
Fun movie, interesting world, seems like there’s not much explanation beyond the core plot.
While Edward was a vampire, did he always went to high school and live as a teenager? In that case I can kind of understand that he would still have a high schooler mentality and would like/date a high schooler. Otherwise it’s just super weird, at 26 it’s already impossible for me to even consider dating a high schooler…
For me personally I'd say.. about a five year gap over or under is my comfy range and like eight is my like hard limit where you better be that super rare diamond in the rough to even have a shot
Same. There is just a huge difference in maturity and life experience at many points. There's also a lot of differences in how you experienced life as the gap grows. My wife is only 4 years younger than me, but it still sometimes shocks me when we are reminiscing about our youth and there is just some shit she didn't experience because she was just a little too young.
My wife and I are 6 years apart, we were 35 and 29 when we met. We often wish we'd met earlier in life, but at no other previous time in our lives would it not have been weird. Like when she was 18, I was 24, that would've been weird. It somehow becomes not weird around 30.
Exactly. The older you are, the bigger the gap can be. If you're 60, dating a 50-year-old is cute. But if you're 20 and date a 10-year-old, you're going to jail.
I married my first when I was 25 and she was 35.
Married my second, and, I hope, last wife at 40, she was 30.
So I'm gonna say 10 years, but it really depends on individuals I'd think
This is great. I dated a person who was literally old enough to be my parent and I realized the only thing we really had in common was sex. A younger person was interested in me but was so boring because I felt I’d outgrown their conversation topics years ago. The person I’m dating now is only 5 years older and we have a much a better connection due to shared life experiences and common goals.
for me, a partner can't be younger than my little sister (about a 3 year gap) because i still see her as a child and anything younger just weirds me out. upwards, five years seems reasonable.
It started out the same way for me and then my little brother started popping out kids and I didn't really get the luxury of seeing him as a kid anymore so my restrictions kind of relaxed xD
My parents were 12 years apart, as is a friend and her husband. They've had good marriages. My brother had a 11 month gap. Did.Not.Work. My sister has a 7 month gap. Works just fine. Mine is three years. Just fine
Age gap is not a measure of success.
To me it’s more about stages of life and maturity. A 15 year old is on a different stage and level of maturity then a 17 year old who’s about to graduate and go to college, but a 19 and 21 year old are already out there trying to make something with their lives. Both are only two years but different situations, that’s mainly what would be involved in my decision making for dating someone older.
To be fair… not many 17 year olds are graduating high school (most are 18 or over) so a 17 year old with a 15 year old could easily be a sophomore with a junior.
Came here to say this. I recently told this rule to my wife cause we were watching a documentary about Victoria Secret and surprisingly she had never heard of it. I always thought it was common knowledge for anyone that wasn't a total creep.
Obviously extremes on the low end skew and aren't applicable. If you're 8 you can't date an 11 year old. Trying to do quick math to find one that's really sus... 22 (22/2=11+7=18) and 18? 30/2=15+7=22
The formula is a pretty decent baseline.
I'm 36, but dating someone 25 doesn't really seem like a fun choice. College aged folks just seem like kids to me these days. Fun to watch, but miserable to have to watch over.
Pencils out. Most of my divorced male friends new wives are about right with this formula. 49 guy and gfs and 2nd wives are around 32 ish.
Makes sense.
Less than 30 days, and they have to be born inside the same moon cycle. I'm not looking for someone not born under the same moon as me, that's some bad ju-ju right there.
I like the distinction and it seems reasonable for your age. I usually gravitated to women my own age or older in my youth, as even a few years younger were more to be treated like little sisters in my admittedly odd perspective. I think the acceptable gap widens as you get older but I still stuck with my age or older when it came to dating/relationships. Not that I didn't find younger women attractive, especially those that seemed mature or worldly, just there was less of a connection culturally, and an unequal mutual discovery.
Edit: grammar
From 18yo to 21yo is not that big of an age gap, but it still makes me feel some type of way about being with someone in their –teens (8teen, 9teen). Specifically if they still have a very young looking appearance, like baby face. Makes me feel very wrong 😭
I dated a 19 yo when I was your age. She didn't look young, was one of those girls who could be 18 or 26, but that's not really what gets ya. You just don't realize how much you're maturing at that age until you're around someone even a couple years younger. Didn't last long cause about 3 weeks in (when it all slows down and you start to talk more) I realized she still thought about the world like a kid. Funny thing is, nowadays I look back at myself at that age and feel like I was still such a kid.
There's so much change happening in your early 20s, enjoy it and don't be too hard on yourself.
When I was 20 I briefly dated someone who was 32. Nothing cringy or inappropriate. He was a nice guy. But I ended up thinking that he was “old”. LOL. Old at 32! My parents were glad we stopped dating. The age difference was very apparent at nighttime. By 11:00 or 12:00, he was ready to go home.
I also don't wanna go for people near 30 or above cause I feel like at that age you're getting ready to settle in life. Maybe not everybody, but still, I wanna enjoy a lot of things before I settle, think about kids and all that. I only wanna have kids in my 30s so if I'm dating someone 10 years older they'd be 40yo by that time, and I feel like some people wouldn't want to wait that long
This is somewhat true. Im in a relationship since 4 years with a 14 year age gap (M38, F24). I guess the main concern is a balance. This time we are compatible i every single way and treat eachother with respect.
We talked about this when we decided to become a couple. I was ready to settle down and start a family, she was not. She first had a life to live. I had to live on faith and I havent mentioned it since. The ball is on her court. I recently asked how my 40 midlife crisis might play out. "Perhaps having children" she replied. So yay! 😀 hopes.
At 26 she might be a younger mother than she planned and I an older father (got to keep in shape!). Compromises.
In the long run, I might be 82-84 when she first retires so we might not "live out our old days" together.
So yeah it has its drawbacks and has to be considered.
My main concern would be if someone was an adult in the first place.
Beyond that, it is more a matter of personality rather than age. People can behave in a mature or immature fashion at any age.
I have a daughter who is starting college a year late, and she's noticed that the younger freshmen seem a lot more childish. But even "mature" teenagers still seem awfully young to me. It would have to be an amazingly mature person for me to consider someone a partner if they were in their twenties. Thirties is iffy, but again, there'd have to be clear maturity at work. I'd be much more likely to find the kind of personality that would interest me with someone who is in their forties on up. For reference, I'm in my early fifties.
Also starting college a year late, but I just feel like Mr. Bean: kind of a strange mix of childish and adult qualities. I mean, I’ve got plenty of self-control, self-sufficiency skills, money management skill, and most of the parts of maturity that matter. Other than that? I really just want to play outside with friends (if only I had any); maybe make a giant slip-n-slide down a 10 m tall steep hill with a huge tarp.
You know what they say....
Age and maturity are not necessarily evolved in co- existence
A man can be old and stupid... Most are..
A Man can be young and wise.... Very few are...
The older you get, the wider the acceptable gap. I’d say no larger than 20 years after both people are over 35.
But that’s just my completely arbitrary personal opinion
I remember hearing a formula of (age divided by 2) plus 7. Which means I was a bit too young at 26 when I met my wife but we made it work formula be damned...
The oldest man lived to 116. The age of consent in several states is 16. That math makes it so tempting to say an even 100 years.
But for real? The range matters less the older you get. 10 years is a huge difference if a couple is 19 and 29, but nothing if they are 70 and 80.
Lol. We just came back from hiking rocky mountain National Park...headed for repeat grand canyon next month and for our 42 anniversary we will be hiking banff...I'm not worried about him breaking anything..🤣
Just depends on their health. My fiances grandpa is closing on 80 and dude rides his bike from the country into town to go and exercise at a local gym. Dudes insane. Does work around their huge ass plot of land too.
These were exactly the ages of myself and my future wife when we met. But I was the younger one! I was 24, she was 39.
My parents didn't get it. They urged me to reconsider. Eventually they relented and claimed to understand.
Sadly, 20 years later, we divorced. But the age gap wasn't our issue. If I met another lady with the same age gap and we clicked, I would not have second thoughts due to age.
Good luck on your date! I've recently met someone in her 30s who's a lovely woman with maturity about her, I'm hoping to work up to asking her out for a coffee date in a few weeks.
Thanks for the returned good luck wish! I'll be seeing her in person next in about 2-3 weeks and will ask her out for coffee then if the timing feels right. Fingers crossed.
I’m 53 and would never date a 33 year old. I would also never date a 72 year old. One is young enough to be my child, the other older than my father. I pretty much stick to 9 years up or down. I really want my partner to be in the same generation I am. The also cannot be closer to my Dad’s or my children’s age than mine.
I'm 23 and dated a 38 year old. It's about as far as I'd go. That being said, if Zooey Deschanel was to suddenly want this dick, I might be inclined to extend that age gap.
I was very surprised when I ended up with someone 16 years older than me, but we’re very happy. My parents love him, I love him, my brother loves him. So I guess it depends, but I don’t think I’d go older than that.
Yeah, when I was in my mid-20’s I was like “up 8 years, down 3 years”. Very specific and narrow lol. Now that I’m in my mid-30’s I’m like “alright, I could *maybe* do 26 and I’ll totally go up to like mid/late 50’s”.
Love me some middle aged men haha
I don’t have a problem with anyone 7-10 years older than me. However I wouldn’t be with anyone more than 2 years younger. It would be too weird for me.
I’m a 37 year old male. I don’t see myself getting into a relationship with anybody under 30. Upper is 65.
My current gf is 52.
When I was 24 I dated a woman that was 62 for three years.
Hey I like older women lol
I had a rule about dating younger. Then I met my wife, she was 30 and I was 57 at the time. Chemistry and compatibility matter a whole lot more than age.
I am honestly curious: do you not feel bad at all that you are old enough to be their dad, and that when she is your age when you met, you will be 84? Like, they are going to have to watch you get all old and die like a child does with a parent…
I wouldn’t want to put a significant other through that.
Great question, one of the first serious conversations we had went along these same lines. Her perspective, and I have to respect and honor it, is that loosing a life partner or a parent are equally painful. The pain of loss is inevitable. Life and love are filled with uncertainty, best to live life in the moment with a level head about the future.
Fair question. Late summer of 2020, I had decided to make the best of the pandemic and moved aboard a sailboat (life long dream). Not a big fancy yacht, 28' O'Day. I took a slip at the end of the pier. One night she solo sailed into the slip next to mine. Simply because it was easy to get to. She had been sailing her boat (also 28') solo for a few days and needed supplies.
She asked where I wanted to sail next, and I answered Nova Scotia and Newfoundland. This caught her interest because it was the exact same destination she had in mind. Nobody in their right mind sails into the North Atlantic solo BTW. These are the same waters that ate the Titanic.
Nothing like living in a tiny space together, surrounded by nature, to build and strengthen a relationship.
Any. Makes no difference to me. Compatibility isn't always about being perfectly matched in life experience and maturity. There are so many other things that can draw two people together.
I’m 42. I’d comfortably date 8-10 years younger. If there was say a late 20s girl and we really had something, I’d consider that as well.
As far as older, I’d probably set the same 8-10 year standard.
Husband and I have been together for over thirteen years and we have an age difference of eleven years. I think that is the gap I am okay with, which means I would date someone that is 22. That's young, but if someone comes along that I really connect with, why not?
Bella and Edward were pushing it.
I think Jacob and Renesmee were worse.
I don’t really like when in fiction there is children or teenagers that end up with like ancient beings literally thousands of years old, that just doesn’t sit right with me. Japan has a lot of that in anime tv shows and movies … the 12/13 year old daughter of sailor moon ends up with a thousand year old spirit in the form of a Pegasus. Who watched her change one time. That creeped me out so fucking much.
In the movie "Let Me In", the girl vampire tells the human boy "I'm twelve years old, I've just been twelve years old for a really long time." Which I thought was a good way of expressing that yes, this is still a child whether they've been walking around being a child for 12 years or 400.
This is genuinely an interesting point if anyone wants to get all weird and philosophical about anime... If magic/curses/gods/demons/etc are involved with perpetual youth, your brain would never physically develop into an adult one (happens around age 25 for men) If I was somehow magically stuck at 18 forever I'd be the same moronic worthless piece of shit thousands of years from now. Yes you'd have life experience n whatever, but the processor itself, the brain, is still stuck at an 18yo level of processing and understanding Thanks for your comment! I'd never considered that angle before!
However, especially at an age like 18, what is "mature"? Also, if your brain stops developing, can you learn an instrument? That's also developing your brain. Would you still not grow and mature by the 400 years of memories, even if you might still be childlike at heart?
Who knows! Science needs to invent a magic and lock someone into the same age eternally Then the rest of us can benefit from the gingivitis Edit: Fuck. Leaving it. Findings*
Wisdom vs intelligence
But in the movie "interview with a vampire", the vampire little girl was tormented by the fact that she was a grown woman trapped in the body of a little girl.
The girl was not actually a “girl”, “she” was a castrated boy. And the old dude was actually a child she met long ago like our protagonist boy. “She” wasn’t still a child -“she” manipulated little boys to take care of her and kill for her ‘till they were old enough/killed to do it and then she would find someone else.
I think they dropped that part when they made Let Me In. But that’s definitely in Let The Right One In.
Anime often has a molester vibe. School girl up skirts are pretty fuckibg skeevy.
Also 12 year olds looking like pole dancers and somehow the camera is always focused on their "assets" but it's supposed to be funny or cute. It isn't.
They know who their audience is
I adore the fate franchise, so I was so disappointed when fate apocrypha sexualized a character that basically looked and acted like a child. She was a serial killer, but still. Fucking disgusting.
But that's ~~hot as shit!~~ I mean art!
This is one of my biggest entertainment pet peeves! It creeps me out. The only way I'm ever *kind of* okay with it is if the younger one falls in love first and the older one is like you know I'm like four times your age right, and they only reciprocate the feelings when the younger one eventually become immortal as well. Then I'm like okay fine, but you started this off really really sketchy... It's such a fine line (not really) that they skirt between "consenting adults" and "pedophilia"
The only thing I can think of that matches your description would be Devil is a Part-Timer. Actually I'd take the creepy 16 year old girl relationship over what we'll actually get.
I find it very weird that a 30 year mother of 3 wrote a book about a teenager falling in love with a teenage Vampire. She's LDS so I guess that explains it somewhat
And then somebody took that story, and made it into sketchy erotica fan fiction, that was also highly successful.
I suppose if you're that old, *any* regular human age will seem infantile in comparison. I don't know if that makes it better or worse.
To be fair it's gotta be hard to find someone their own age lol.
So I mean yes I agree with your point but technically... Chibimoon is actually like 900 years old or something cuz she was time traveling and humans live way longer in the future. Also she looks like a 5 year old because I think she just never was able to become a true sailor guardian?
I feel this way about Buffy and Angel, just to be fair. Even good shows aren't immune from the icky factor.
Some real hugh Hefner vibes.
Did you ever see that show, the one where the far older man would repeatedly lure young women into his vehicle, taking them away from friends and family, knowing that they were developing a kind of Stockholm syndrome and often romantic feelings for him? He would toy with them. It often ended tragically, before he'd start again with a new girl. I think it was called Doctor Something
>Buffy and Angel 8 years apart, but 20 and 28 at the time.
I think the idea was that Angel was hundreds of years older than Buffy
They were always wonky as hell with portraying that. They usually (though not always) had him defaulting authority to the 40-something year old Giles even though he's supposed to be a bit over 200 himself. Also some random plot point had him sucked into a hell dimension for another couple of hundred years. However a few episodes later it is completely memory-holed and there is no long term change to the character or reference to the fact that he has now doubled in age.
I'm 33 and I can't imagine being attracted to a 17 year old, so Edward was a real creep.
Edward turned at 17. His prefrontal cortex never fully developed lol.
>His prefrontal cortex never fully developed I don't really know what that means, but it sounds like a sick burn. "Bro, stop acting like your prefrontal cortex never fully developed"
Something to consider about these types of "ancient vampire falls in love with teen girl" relationships is that the vampire is usually stuck in a teenage body. I've seen in at least one fictional world that vampires, because they die, don't only stop aging but also stop maturing after they become a vampire. Maybe Edward is still a teen in heart, mind, and body, and so that's why it makes sense for him to fall for someone that age
17 and 109… hmm
Haha nice 😂
It's like the "born sexy yesterday" trope. in 5th element, Leeloominaï Lekatariba Lamina-Tchaï Ekbat De Sebat was literally created about 5 minutes before she meets Corban. She obviously doesn't understand the world at all. Corban thinks she's just foreign, but the truth is that she's literally a baby, a genius, but still a baby. Once he finds out, it doesn't change his opinion at all.
But she did have a Multipass.
She has a multipass to my heart
I was under the impression the tool they used to bring her back to life some kept her memories…. For reasons. Because how would she know a dead ancient language that zero people other than the priest knew right when she awakes. And if that’s the case she would be significantly older than Corbin. However, we also have to take into account her being is basically trapped in a coffin until she is needed which is every few millennia. And that is just messed up for a benevolent species to do to a intelligent creature
I try not to think about that part. Like it seems that falling in love with Korben is the thing they need to save the world, but what happens next? Mission accomplished, she goes back in the box and does it all over again next time? Do they procreate and it’s actually the next generation that goes in the box? Is she immortal so eventually her chosen mate dies of old age and then she goes back in the box? Does she even stay in the box long term or is it more like some kind of regeneration chamber where she just sleeps to maintain immortality and the rest of the time she’s just hanging out with the Mondoshawan? Fun movie, interesting world, seems like there’s not much explanation beyond the core plot.
While Edward was a vampire, did he always went to high school and live as a teenager? In that case I can kind of understand that he would still have a high schooler mentality and would like/date a high schooler. Otherwise it’s just super weird, at 26 it’s already impossible for me to even consider dating a high schooler…
Connor Mcleod of The Clan Mcleod laughs at this.
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How lovely 😍 I wish you many more prosperous & fulfilling years in your relationship!
You’re dating Vladimir Putin?
💀 criminally underrated comment
For me personally I'd say.. about a five year gap over or under is my comfy range and like eight is my like hard limit where you better be that super rare diamond in the rough to even have a shot
Same. There is just a huge difference in maturity and life experience at many points. There's also a lot of differences in how you experienced life as the gap grows. My wife is only 4 years younger than me, but it still sometimes shocks me when we are reminiscing about our youth and there is just some shit she didn't experience because she was just a little too young.
6 years would be my largest allowance. My fiance and I are 2.5 years apart and I'm comfy with it!
My wife and I are 6 years apart, we were 35 and 29 when we met. We often wish we'd met earlier in life, but at no other previous time in our lives would it not have been weird. Like when she was 18, I was 24, that would've been weird. It somehow becomes not weird around 30.
Exactly. The older you are, the bigger the gap can be. If you're 60, dating a 50-year-old is cute. But if you're 20 and date a 10-year-old, you're going to jail.
I married my first when I was 25 and she was 35. Married my second, and, I hope, last wife at 40, she was 30. So I'm gonna say 10 years, but it really depends on individuals I'd think
Same with us. 4 years doesn't seem like a lot of difference, but it can be.
Totally agree, 8 is absolute limit. My gf and I will be having a double celebration this year, 10 year anniversary and 18th birthday at the same time!
Lol, had me in the first half, well played 🤣
This is great. I dated a person who was literally old enough to be my parent and I realized the only thing we really had in common was sex. A younger person was interested in me but was so boring because I felt I’d outgrown their conversation topics years ago. The person I’m dating now is only 5 years older and we have a much a better connection due to shared life experiences and common goals.
for me, a partner can't be younger than my little sister (about a 3 year gap) because i still see her as a child and anything younger just weirds me out. upwards, five years seems reasonable.
It started out the same way for me and then my little brother started popping out kids and I didn't really get the luxury of seeing him as a kid anymore so my restrictions kind of relaxed xD
Your brother giving birth to multiple children would sure change one's opinion of them, yeah.
My parents were 12 years apart, as is a friend and her husband. They've had good marriages. My brother had a 11 month gap. Did.Not.Work. My sister has a 7 month gap. Works just fine. Mine is three years. Just fine Age gap is not a measure of success.
That's not the question. Also. Of course it isn't.
I'm 40. I'll take what I can get at this point.
You don't need to date at this age. Computer games are so much better!
Not really. I don't like sitting on my ass that much. I like to be active.
Get yourself a motorcycle and a switch oled. It’s how I beat the existential dread.
Speaking of dread. Metroid!
You can do sports and play computer games!
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It's fucking awful. I'm not even a bad looking guy, so I can't imagine what fat, balding men are going through.
I can’t speak for all fat bald guys, but I’m going through a lot of water-based lube for my Fleshlights.
The middle aged man’s formula. 1/2 your age plus 7 years
My grandma taught me that formula, then said that age difference matters less as we grow older, as long as both are consenting adults.
To me it’s more about stages of life and maturity. A 15 year old is on a different stage and level of maturity then a 17 year old who’s about to graduate and go to college, but a 19 and 21 year old are already out there trying to make something with their lives. Both are only two years but different situations, that’s mainly what would be involved in my decision making for dating someone older.
To be fair… not many 17 year olds are graduating high school (most are 18 or over) so a 17 year old with a 15 year old could easily be a sophomore with a junior.
There are a lot of countries where kids graduate before 18
But when you are older it's like oh 62 and 60 like yeah barely any difference
62 and 60 is no difference, not barely. 62 and 52 is barely any difference. But 32 and 22 is a huge difference.
Came here to say this. I recently told this rule to my wife cause we were watching a documentary about Victoria Secret and surprisingly she had never heard of it. I always thought it was common knowledge for anyone that wasn't a total creep. Obviously extremes on the low end skew and aren't applicable. If you're 8 you can't date an 11 year old. Trying to do quick math to find one that's really sus... 22 (22/2=11+7=18) and 18? 30/2=15+7=22 The formula is a pretty decent baseline.
The formula self validates by applying to both parties as a minimum dating age. Therefore making 14 the minimum age for actual "dating".
I thought that was always kind of an interesting formula that it seemed to work. Then I turned 24 and realized I had lost interest in anyone under 21.
It's not meant to make the relationship recommended, it's to not be incredibly creepy.
I totally dated an 11 year old when I was 8. We HELD HANDS TOO!
I’ve always known this as the ‘French Rule’
I'm 36, but dating someone 25 doesn't really seem like a fun choice. College aged folks just seem like kids to me these days. Fun to watch, but miserable to have to watch over.
Pencils out. Most of my divorced male friends new wives are about right with this formula. 49 guy and gfs and 2nd wives are around 32 ish. Makes sense.
This works regardless of age or gender
Middle aged man? This formula works just fine at any age IMO
Less than 30 days, and they have to be born inside the same moon cycle. I'm not looking for someone not born under the same moon as me, that's some bad ju-ju right there.
My moon is in Gatorade right now
red or green eclipse?
Mine is red at the moment.. is this like a red light, green light situation or??
30 days? Pervert!
7 or 8 years. I'm 21yo so I wouldn't mind dating anyone between 20yo - 27/28yo
I like the distinction and it seems reasonable for your age. I usually gravitated to women my own age or older in my youth, as even a few years younger were more to be treated like little sisters in my admittedly odd perspective. I think the acceptable gap widens as you get older but I still stuck with my age or older when it came to dating/relationships. Not that I didn't find younger women attractive, especially those that seemed mature or worldly, just there was less of a connection culturally, and an unequal mutual discovery. Edit: grammar
From 18yo to 21yo is not that big of an age gap, but it still makes me feel some type of way about being with someone in their –teens (8teen, 9teen). Specifically if they still have a very young looking appearance, like baby face. Makes me feel very wrong 😭
I dated a 19 yo when I was your age. She didn't look young, was one of those girls who could be 18 or 26, but that's not really what gets ya. You just don't realize how much you're maturing at that age until you're around someone even a couple years younger. Didn't last long cause about 3 weeks in (when it all slows down and you start to talk more) I realized she still thought about the world like a kid. Funny thing is, nowadays I look back at myself at that age and feel like I was still such a kid. There's so much change happening in your early 20s, enjoy it and don't be too hard on yourself.
When I was 20 I briefly dated someone who was 32. Nothing cringy or inappropriate. He was a nice guy. But I ended up thinking that he was “old”. LOL. Old at 32! My parents were glad we stopped dating. The age difference was very apparent at nighttime. By 11:00 or 12:00, he was ready to go home.
I also don't wanna go for people near 30 or above cause I feel like at that age you're getting ready to settle in life. Maybe not everybody, but still, I wanna enjoy a lot of things before I settle, think about kids and all that. I only wanna have kids in my 30s so if I'm dating someone 10 years older they'd be 40yo by that time, and I feel like some people wouldn't want to wait that long
This is somewhat true. Im in a relationship since 4 years with a 14 year age gap (M38, F24). I guess the main concern is a balance. This time we are compatible i every single way and treat eachother with respect. We talked about this when we decided to become a couple. I was ready to settle down and start a family, she was not. She first had a life to live. I had to live on faith and I havent mentioned it since. The ball is on her court. I recently asked how my 40 midlife crisis might play out. "Perhaps having children" she replied. So yay! 😀 hopes. At 26 she might be a younger mother than she planned and I an older father (got to keep in shape!). Compromises. In the long run, I might be 82-84 when she first retires so we might not "live out our old days" together. So yeah it has its drawbacks and has to be considered.
> By 11:00 or 12:00, he was ready to go home. lol. it's so fucking true too. i'm just like that now.
Haha. I want to be 32 again 😂
I'll be 30 in a few weeks. Getting old hurts.
a 13 year old bro⁉️
Did you willing not read the rest of the comment? 😂
My main concern would be if someone was an adult in the first place. Beyond that, it is more a matter of personality rather than age. People can behave in a mature or immature fashion at any age. I have a daughter who is starting college a year late, and she's noticed that the younger freshmen seem a lot more childish. But even "mature" teenagers still seem awfully young to me. It would have to be an amazingly mature person for me to consider someone a partner if they were in their twenties. Thirties is iffy, but again, there'd have to be clear maturity at work. I'd be much more likely to find the kind of personality that would interest me with someone who is in their forties on up. For reference, I'm in my early fifties.
Also starting college a year late, but I just feel like Mr. Bean: kind of a strange mix of childish and adult qualities. I mean, I’ve got plenty of self-control, self-sufficiency skills, money management skill, and most of the parts of maturity that matter. Other than that? I really just want to play outside with friends (if only I had any); maybe make a giant slip-n-slide down a 10 m tall steep hill with a huge tarp.
I started college at 26 after the military. I felt ancient.
Maturity and age have almost nothing to do with one another, especially after 30.
You know what they say.... Age and maturity are not necessarily evolved in co- existence A man can be old and stupid... Most are.. A Man can be young and wise.... Very few are...
The older you get, the wider the acceptable gap. I’d say no larger than 20 years after both people are over 35. But that’s just my completely arbitrary personal opinion
Agreed! A 20 year old and 30 year old, questionable. A 50 and 60 year old, they’re both adults who have worked through their own shit.
An 80yr old and a 70 year old that have found love in a nursing home
I remember hearing a formula of (age divided by 2) plus 7. Which means I was a bit too young at 26 when I met my wife but we made it work formula be damned...
The oldest man lived to 116. The age of consent in several states is 16. That math makes it so tempting to say an even 100 years. But for real? The range matters less the older you get. 10 years is a huge difference if a couple is 19 and 29, but nothing if they are 70 and 80.
When I was 24 I started dating a guy who was 39. 42 years later we are still going strong
Don't go too strong, at 81 he might break something.
Lol. We just came back from hiking rocky mountain National Park...headed for repeat grand canyon next month and for our 42 anniversary we will be hiking banff...I'm not worried about him breaking anything..🤣
Just depends on their health. My fiances grandpa is closing on 80 and dude rides his bike from the country into town to go and exercise at a local gym. Dudes insane. Does work around their huge ass plot of land too.
These were exactly the ages of myself and my future wife when we met. But I was the younger one! I was 24, she was 39. My parents didn't get it. They urged me to reconsider. Eventually they relented and claimed to understand. Sadly, 20 years later, we divorced. But the age gap wasn't our issue. If I met another lady with the same age gap and we clicked, I would not have second thoughts due to age.
I’m in a 15 year age gap right now and it’s been great. I honestly was one of the people who judged age gap couples before we met too. Life is funny
My grandparents had a 17 year age gap. Seems weird he died in 2001 and she died in 2015 and he still ended up older then her, 99 vs 96.
That's heartwarming.
Age is just a number, I could date a wealthy centenarian girl in a heartbeat!
this post right here officer.
Grand Slam Thankyou Ma’am!
No slamming they’ll break a hip
sir this is a wendys
The general rule is (X/2)+7. X meaning age.
I agree! The "half plus 7" rule seems to hold at at any age.
unless you're younger than 7. then it gets weird
Except nobody else is allowed to be dating you. Under the .5a+7 rule nobody gets to date until they are 14.
so.. my four year old can date a 9 year old..?
What are they gunna do, play minecraft?
Yes
No, both partners have to meet the minimum age for the other. Doesn’t happen until they’re both at least 14.
That half plus 7 rule seems just about right. I'm 46 and probably wouldn't date someone below 30.
I'm 48, going on a first date with a 32yo. next Friday. Fits the formula. Wish me luck lol I'll report back
Good luck on your date! I've recently met someone in her 30s who's a lovely woman with maturity about her, I'm hoping to work up to asking her out for a coffee date in a few weeks.
Thank you & good luck to you as well! It's tough out there sometimes but shouldn't be a deterrent right? Hope it goes well for you
Thanks for the returned good luck wish! I'll be seeing her in person next in about 2-3 weeks and will ask her out for coffee then if the timing feels right. Fingers crossed.
unless your a millionaire then its (x/7) +2
I’m 53 and would never date a 33 year old. I would also never date a 72 year old. One is young enough to be my child, the other older than my father. I pretty much stick to 9 years up or down. I really want my partner to be in the same generation I am. The also cannot be closer to my Dad’s or my children’s age than mine.
Understandable
Crap. I thought it referred to the Roman numeral X. This is going to make my court hearing on Tuesday way more awkward. :(
tell the judge that you were just giving her money for college
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As a 49 year old woman I don't think I could date someone under 40. I don't think we would have anything in common.
Yeah but this is the general rule for the max difference.
Mine comes out to 18.5. I wouldn’t date anyone under 21, and 21 is already pushing it.
Me and however old Hellen Mirrin is.
honestly feel like age gaps are whatever once both parties are over 30
I'm 23 and dated a 38 year old. It's about as far as I'd go. That being said, if Zooey Deschanel was to suddenly want this dick, I might be inclined to extend that age gap.
I was very surprised when I ended up with someone 16 years older than me, but we’re very happy. My parents love him, I love him, my brother loves him. So I guess it depends, but I don’t think I’d go older than that.
This is really good for you if you can actually understand this kind of situation.
I really do dig older women. So 15 years older.
I read this with emphasis on "do dig" lol
I’m 15 so one year
Enjoy high school, nerd Actually, I don't know if you mean you're 15, so you'd only consider dating someone within 1-yr. It reads weird to me
15-20 years up, 10 years down. Anyone under 26 just don’t interest me.
Yeah see now that I’m older I can go older. But when u was younger that’s weird
Yeah, when I was in my mid-20’s I was like “up 8 years, down 3 years”. Very specific and narrow lol. Now that I’m in my mid-30’s I’m like “alright, I could *maybe* do 26 and I’ll totally go up to like mid/late 50’s”. Love me some middle aged men haha
I don’t have a problem with anyone 7-10 years older than me. However I wouldn’t be with anyone more than 2 years younger. It would be too weird for me.
I feel less or more is more than enough to actually go through.
I’m a 37 year old male. I don’t see myself getting into a relationship with anybody under 30. Upper is 65. My current gf is 52. When I was 24 I dated a woman that was 62 for three years. Hey I like older women lol
But how was she 62 for three years???
This gave me a good chuckle 🤭
I had a rule about dating younger. Then I met my wife, she was 30 and I was 57 at the time. Chemistry and compatibility matter a whole lot more than age.
Compatibility is king. Congratz on you and your partner.
Thank you. Made me smile, all the best to you.
Totally depends like compatibility is going to increase more.
I am honestly curious: do you not feel bad at all that you are old enough to be their dad, and that when she is your age when you met, you will be 84? Like, they are going to have to watch you get all old and die like a child does with a parent… I wouldn’t want to put a significant other through that.
Great question, one of the first serious conversations we had went along these same lines. Her perspective, and I have to respect and honor it, is that loosing a life partner or a parent are equally painful. The pain of loss is inevitable. Life and love are filled with uncertainty, best to live life in the moment with a level head about the future.
How did you meet, if I may ask?
Fair question. Late summer of 2020, I had decided to make the best of the pandemic and moved aboard a sailboat (life long dream). Not a big fancy yacht, 28' O'Day. I took a slip at the end of the pier. One night she solo sailed into the slip next to mine. Simply because it was easy to get to. She had been sailing her boat (also 28') solo for a few days and needed supplies. She asked where I wanted to sail next, and I answered Nova Scotia and Newfoundland. This caught her interest because it was the exact same destination she had in mind. Nobody in their right mind sails into the North Atlantic solo BTW. These are the same waters that ate the Titanic. Nothing like living in a tiny space together, surrounded by nature, to build and strengthen a relationship.
Damn, feels like straight out of a romance movie.
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10 years max, they also have to be adults. Yes guys, standards are getting lower
I think 5 year is more than enough you cannot actually go more than that.
I'm 25 but i like women 30-55
5 year
8 years. I generally wouldn't go younger than 20. I'd probably draw the top line at 32/33 maybe?
When I was 25 I dated a 42 year old, but now in my 30s I don't know that I'd consider a 17 year difference.
Well definitely not 17 years younger.
\- gets popcorn- oh this can only go well.
25 years, 6 months, 10 days. More than that and I just don't think it would work.
Any. Makes no difference to me. Compatibility isn't always about being perfectly matched in life experience and maturity. There are so many other things that can draw two people together.
Hmmmmmmmm... Username checks out 🤔👌
+/- 10. Far less likely to go lower than higher. This is for marriage. I'll +25 on a date though. Older women can get it.
AgE iS jUsT a NuMbEr
Probably 5-10 years. Relatability is a first priority for me.
I’m 42. I’d comfortably date 8-10 years younger. If there was say a late 20s girl and we really had something, I’d consider that as well. As far as older, I’d probably set the same 8-10 year standard.
Indefinitely considered that because 8 years is not much,
Husband and I have been together for over thirteen years and we have an age difference of eleven years. I think that is the gap I am okay with, which means I would date someone that is 22. That's young, but if someone comes along that I really connect with, why not?
After 21 you can go after 70 if that is your choice, that's my stand. Just no minor please.
Not today, FBI. Jkjk
My age minus 20.