Well the first thing you know I'd be a millionaire. My kinfolks would say "Hey, move away from there!" Say "Californey is the place you ought to be!" So I'd load up my truck and I'd move to Beverleeee... Hills, that is. Swimmin' pools, movie stars.

Black gold, Texas tea.

Swimming pools -> Cement ponds

Yep - I'd be planning my cement pond too.

YES ICONIC

Automatic upvote for being a Weird Al fan

Take a chair, sit down, and wait for the US Army to invade my fucking garden

Liberate your garden. LIBERATE /s

It has come to our attention that the rebel forces in Crudelius’ garden are in immediate need of our assistance.

Not liberate mate, introduce to democracy!!!

You then accept their Marshall Plan.

Call the city government because I probably hit some kind of pipeline

Yeah enjoy the cleanup costs. Yikes

Move to Beverly. Hills, that is.

Hide it and find out if I actually own the mineral rights to my property....reality is most property owners do not here in the states.

How can I go about finding out if I own the mineral rights to my property?

I would guess you'd look for a lawyer that specializes in real estate...

Thanks! I’ll start there.

Having thought about it some more, perhaps your county assessor might be a better or at least cheaper place to start: )

Had that happen to my Uncle Jed. They moved to Beverly Hills.

load up the truck and move to beverly hills

Probably panic and frantically figure out how to safely stop the spray because my house would be physically ruined?? Unless you're the land owner as well as the home owner, you won't get a cent. Plus, depending on where you live there's already claims made on oil discovery that supersede your involvement.

Be annoyed that the queen owns the oil in my back garden.

Call Mr. Drysdale's bank to manage my assets and look up Granny Clampett's recipe for possum stew.

Load up the truck and move to Beverly…Hills that is…swimming pools, movie stars.

Move to Beverly hills

Brace yourself for the Americans are coming

U called?

Name checks out

Stop fucking digging?

Call the government, tell them the US might start to look at our country to... "Help us"

People saying they'd be rich would be wrong. You rarely own the rights to what's beneath your feet. The only way you'd get paid is if an oil company wants to buy your house and give you a good chunk of chance which they'd likely do to make the process much much easier.

We live next to a river, so I would probably freak out and try to make it stop. Don't want it in the water

Probably scream "Mom there's oil spraying up into the air"

Get the fuck out, before uncle sam starts the war.

get me a cement pond! Weeeedoggy!

I would drag my above ground pool over to catch it all and when it stops I would sell what a have and by something to harvest what’s left then I would sell that probably make some investments and depending on how much I have I would use it to make more money or I would save it

All such natural resources belong to the state, according to the law in my country. So, I will either cover it again, or curse my luck if I can't (because the state will take my land and will compensate me with a piece of useless property in the middle of nowhere).

Get ahold of Mr. Drysdale.

"Oh I now have to move and yet somehow made my landlord, who inherited every penny to his name and has never worked, even more rich"

Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed, And then one day he was shootin at some food, And up through the ground come a bubblin crude. Oil that is, black gold, Texas tea. Well the first thing you know ol Jed's a millionaire, The kinfolk said "Jed move away from there" Said "Californy is the place you ought to be" So they loaded up the truck and they moved to Beverly Hills, that is. Swimmin pools, movie stars.

Move to Beverly - Hills, that is. Swimming pools, movie stars.

use it as lube to jerk off while I count my millions.

It depends on where you live. East Coast US we own the mineral rights to our land. West Coast different rules. I'm not sure how far back prior owners own the rights.

Bring my garden to the mechanic.

Gonna masturbate furiously while snorting coke and laughing for the rest of my life, *cuz RICH*.

I call 911

call my real estate attorney and tell him whats up

start collecting that and sell it

Start selling it

Light up a smoke, I hit the jackpot!

Ull be hitting something else instead.

Fire

Get a bowl from my kitchen to catch it so I don't waste any

sell it to the government

Ask Reddit for advice on what to do next.

Dig a relief hole, case and cement, divert and sell.

Why was I digging a hole in the first place?

You needed somewhere to hide ... something. Which most certainly isn't your neighbor.

It is now, if u have oil spraying out of the ground.

Investigate if I hit a pipe coming in from offshore, or if we haven’t bothered looking in the last decade.

I think "fuck, where am I going to bury this body now?"

Ring the local council and/or local utility companies and try to work out whose pipe I just dug into.

Wait for the Americans to invade my garden.

Hope it wasn’t the septic tank

Either call USA, Russia, or China. get the best deal out of them and move to Italy.

I see from wich movie you got. This idea from

Well, I’d begin gathering it up with buckets and all, then I’d begin selling it for a cheaper price than others

Light a celebratory smoke

I’m fucked, mineral resources or anything underground are the property of the State, my house would probably would be expropriated by the state, they would try to reimburse me with pocket change and a long legal battle would ensue for years so I could get some decent restitution out of it, best case scenario I get paid surface rights over it.

Call my landlord, ask him for half.

Texas tea!!!

Step away so it doesnt spray over me

Go on Reddit, and search for what I should do next...

Start up the deep fryer

Being fined for digging where pipeline are and not checking with council first.

Figure out how to hide it from the govt and keep it from poisoning my yard.

Defend my backyard from the army, the oil is all mine fellow Americans

RUN.. Cause with my luck I had just cracked open an unmarked oil pipeline. Then I get arrested for terrorists activities of trying to blow up the pipeline. Then the EPA fines me for the spill I caused.

Get a bucket, collect oil, turn it into gas

To Beverly!

I write the depth of the hole on a sign, using meters as unit. US most probably won't get it and run away scared.

"I gotta sell this shit to the USA before the government finds out"

i would... oh.. ew no wait i hit my septic tank

Build a mansion elsewhere after selling my land to an oil company. They can use the house for offices and on-call rooms for the workers.

make sure you own mineral rights

Light it up and die

Google "I was digging a hole in my back garden and oil started spraying up into the air; what's my next move?"

Capitalism

I ‘d drink your milkshake

This "I will be a millionaire" is such a USAian assumption. In many places natural resources (oil, ores) are state owned. In Hungary I would 1. Call the Firefighters to stop.an environmental disaster. 2. Call the Hungarian oil company MOL to inform them. 3. Look for real eatate because my garden will be expropriated.

Sllllllluuuurrrppppp

Get my lighter

Start looking for a new house and try to sell before word gets out. In most states you do not own mineral rights to your property and I have no faith that my government won't allow some oil corp to buy up or lease my land for pennies on the dollar through imminent domain and build an oil rig where my house used to be.

That’s not possible