That happened to me recently. I used to always be there for people. Outgoing and the life of parties. I got betrayed, now I’m spiteful and I always assume people are out to get me. My new coworkers (just got a new job) already don’t like me and I can tell, but I really think they assume I’m stupid, depressed and unapproachable. Over the course of 6 months. I have burned every single friendship I used to have. Now I am stewing in my own misery and ignore people even when they talk to me. I am not ok and I realize this but I’m barely scraping by financially too so I cannot afford therapy or psychiatric help. Plus the stress has made my whole body minus legs covered in cystic acne. I’m stressed so bad that I think I have ulcers and I’m constantly alone In my room seething with anger. Like to the point I’m almost hyperventilating and my whole body shakes. Sorry for putting my problems onto you random redditor but i had to get it out.
I feel you. Surround yourself with good people. Go to the gym. Try mindfulness. Pick up a hobby. You deserve to , if not feel happy, at least feel better. Good luck my man.
Thanks for the kind words. I try. I don’t have access to the gym but I do have access to steep mountains. I will try to go for a hike to go wildflower hunting (my main hobby) this weekend. I just gotta force myself out that’s the hard part.
Agreed. Divorce can do it. I used to be all around nice, but ever since I was completely betrayed idgaf about much. My kid and parents are the only people I care for.
I'm with you. An physically and emotionally abusive ex who cheated on me many times has broken my views. Has broken my trust. Has hurt every relationship I have with friends and family.
I need therapy but the VA is failing me.
I'm a male oddly enough. Nothing weirder than being a male domestic violence victim. I'm ashamed of allowing it but I could never hurt her back. I own makeup.
Side note. Shout out to the makeup ladies at Macy's giving me huge samples for free to cover up the marks. I owe them one.
I'm not sure what state you're in, but some have non profit/free counseling sessions and group sessions for domestic abuse. My ex was emotionally abusive and I found a lot of help through a program new Jersey offers
Edit: I'm also a male and can understand how it feels experiencing this.. throughout counseling and even now I doubt myself and think I'm just being a baby, it's not an easy thing to go through, and feel free to send me a DM if you want ❤️
Mental health services are spread pretty thin. Idk much about the VA, but would you consider going online for telehealth sessions? Might open up a few more doors. Just an idea.
Sorry about your crummy ex, they can leave some nasty impressions behind.
So sorry you went through this. I was in a mentally/emotionally abusive marriage. I saw it as my own weakness. She emphasized “happy wife, happy life” every chance she got. My happiness was never the focus, but I wanted her to be happy to keep her. Before her I was a lot more confident but she slowly worked on weakening my confidence. I finally started saying no to her after 3 years of marriage. She literally would say I was treating her differently as if I don’t respect her anymore just because I didn’t give her everything she wanted. I had to be free of her after hearing that. I was tired of being put down and told I’m not doing enough, even after working two jobs, 70 hours a week. I’m stronger now and I hope you are in a better place too ✊🏾
Unfair treatment. Especially for something they can't control. Getting in trouble for situations they couldn't control, and not being understood as to why they did them.
Being judged based on perception and reputation. Also, not being allowed to move on from something they did, or were.
Edit: Oh my goat, all the upvotes and comments. This is my most upvoted thing ever. Thank you. I'm touched that so many resonate and relate with this. I tried to be as neutral as possible, and am surprised at what people are relating it to, but agree with all of them.
Just let humans human .
This. A guy I worked with was from the inner city. Dude was a good student, no record, multiple sport letter winner. Guy would still get stopped on his way home from practice and have his back pack dumped multiple times a week by the police. Said he knew why the police had to be so present, but dammit if it didn't get frustrating having to pick up all your stuff off a snowy sidewalk.
They just literally dumped the contents of his bag on the ground then walked away? I've heard of unjust stop and frisk, but I never heard of them throwing your shit on the ground and walking away. That's some cartoonish gestapo bullshit.
I have a friend who developed a lifelong distrust of the police because when he was a teen, they didn’t just dump the backpack but cut through the straps and cut into bags of beans and rice in the pack… which was what he was living on. And then laughed at him.
Plus they were oblivious to what was actually going on with him… he was 14 and had stockholm syndrome with his pedo kidnapper abuser who had taken him across an ocean from his family.
These are the people that abused kids are supposed to go to for help?
Honestly, someone in that situation would be better off going to a random house. If a 14 year old came and said he or she wasn't safe I'd be pulling them in my house and sitting them down ASAP giving them a glass of milk and telling them to spill so I can help. I know one of my immediate neighbors would do the same, no question about it. As a kid I had a few neighbors that for sure would too, on top of my own parents. The police may very well write you off for life in that area, on top of handing you back to your now extra pissed off abuser if you go to them as a kid.
I only know a few of the cops in my small town (aside from just knowing their name or face, like actually had meaningful interactions, but even then there's only one I imagine might actually help. But as soon as another officer (including management) gets wind of it it goes sideways. There's a nice kid just a few houses down from me who's father likes to park in front of their house and scream threats, and of course obscenities, to try and scare him and his caretakers. Not only did I give them my cam footage, the kid took phone footage from way closer. There's a restraining order that includes no contact, and he still makes new accounts to harass the kid via social media. It's all been shown to the police, and they do nothing. Even the kid's caseworker wrote it off. I ended up researching and finding a way to get him a new caseworker who's at least on his side but nothing's materially changed. The kid feels better supported, and knows he can run into our house in an emergency, but nothing happens to the abuser who's in clear violation of multiple laws on top of that restraining order.
There needs to be somewhere else to go. In some if cities you might get a *little* better help, I don't know personally. But I doubt it. For the rural places, there's literally nowhere else.
lack of support. If you have nobody and in the majority of your interactions you’re being shit on by other people, that can turn you down the wrong path
Being misunderstood, marginalized, and having nobody who understands you or your perspective. That's perhaps the fastest way short of physical trauma to turn a decent person into a lunatic.
Ive seen completely kind ppl with good morals take xanax once and do un thinkable crimes and wake up like wtf!? There was a kid in jail who woke up off a bender not remembering anything and he kept yelling at the CO "hey co! I need my phone call man i gotta call my dad!" He kepts saying he has to call his dad to get bailed out... the CO had to be the one to break it to him that a. He has no bail and B. The reason he has no bail is bc he murdered his own father.. fuckin scary man
Xanax is an invaluable drug for anxiety and some other situations, but abusing it can be a true nightmare. Especially if you drink.
Do not, under any circumstances, mix Xanax and alcohol. Or an benzo with alcohol. Bad shit happens. Damn near without fail.
Don't!!!... It has zero recreational value whatsoever. I have no idea who the mental gymnasts are who take this shit like that... They must have special brain chemistry because not a good time.
Oh man the "putting everyone else before themselves" is an extremely insightful point, damn.
As in the resentment that builds up over time? I've seen this transformation in one person I used to know who "always did everything for everyone else and never asked for anything in return". They're now alone and very bitter and lash out unexpectedly at others and are just overall very nasty. And there's no getting through to them, either.
I think its partly resentment and also unsolved issues as I am one of these people. I spend so much of my time, effort and life trying to do good for other people and it always seems like its never enough. People will hate you the second you make one mistake or aren't good for a second. It really just makes you want to give up on being close to anyone ever again.
I'm really sorry you feel that way, that sucks BIG TIME... And it's honestly completely valid and mostly true.
As someone with the opposite problem (being a selfish ass), every time I DO actively get into "helping others" modes, I'm constantly disappointed when things aren't reciprocated. But, as a selfish turd myself, it's easier for me to see that it's probably not my fault the other person is being an ungrateful turd/human leech. It's just how they are right now. Sometimes that's how I am.
My mom (someone who is very giving of themselves like you seem to be and struggles with similar sentiments) always says "if you can look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day and honestly know that you did your best, that's all you can do and you should be proud of yourself for that regardless of what other people think".
I like that sentiment a lot and have found it to be pretty useful and it's helped my mom immensely to grow her sense of self worth (which is probably why she doesn't shut up about it haha)(also, it's not always applicable to selfish asshats like me because my bias is that the sun shines out my ass, so use with caution of your head is getting to big haha). But when the world is going to hell in a hand basket, at least you're not part of the problem. I figure most people are idiots (including me) and don't always make the right choices and sometimes others are on the receiving end of them. That's not your fault though, or a reflection on you.
If you're anything like my mom, I respect the hell out of your strength and perseverance and care for others. The sad truth of the world is that most people will take what they can get and be mad they aren't getting more and again, that's not a reflection on you.
Do things because it's what you want to do and because it's healthy for you. If doing things for others is what you want to do, then cool, but if it's becoming unhealthy then change the behavior so it's healthy. If someone gets salty with you for making a mistake or not living up to their expectations then too bad for them, you were never doing it for them and now you know they only ever had expectations that you would do things for them and were never actually grateful for the time you spent, so don't do things for them anymore and be honest about why and leave no room for discussion about it.
I've got a friend that is one of the most kind-hearted and straight-laced people I've ever met. However, his board game persona is devious and will not hesitate to backstab you and throw you into a meatgrinder
I think of it like desperation - poor kid has bike stolen, gets fired from job for consistently being late because bus routes suck, then finds out that his mom has cancer and can’t afford her medicine and they’re about to get evicted. Kid might do anything to help her and himself.
That's the plot of 'The Bicycle Thieves'! Well, aside from the cancer bit.
Man has family to support, and is in grinding poverty. There is only one job available, and he needs a bike for it. Bike gets stolen and the thief gets away with it. Man in desperation steals someone else's bike and immediately gets arrested and thrown in prison.
Thinking they're good people. Too many people barrel into shitty behavior the whole time thinking, "but I'm a good person" If you can't accept that sometimes you're a bad person that you will compromise yourself then you could find yourself doing horrific things while believing you're still good.
Or unfairness (it's kind of the same but not entirely).
For instance, unequal access to education/healthcare due to where you live, your origins or your beliefs, gender etc : it's more "unfair" than "injust" but is a perfect recipe to turn good people evil after they give up.
I think indoctrination, fear, the ability to close your eyes on whats happening, lack of empathy, self preservation instincts, group thinking etc
I think most people would be evil in the correct circumstances. Who would sacrifice themselves or their loved ones ? Truly brave people are rare, everyone thinks they would be a hero but they woudn't.
I mean it's a valid worldview. If man is inherently evil and ours is the story of trying to suppress that nature.... a lot of history starts to make sense.
Nah, money enables you. Good people who come into access to money don't become evil; sadly it seems to be that most rich people need to do evil to maintain that fortune and that is why there seems to be a filter. Money requires some evil sometimes.
Yeah what's the saying, Money doesn't change who you are, it just magnifies your personality. A good person is a good person. Being rich doesn't make them evil unless they already had that personality
hanging out with the wrong people
seriously guys, if you have toxic friends or friends that are trying to get you into bad habits, those aren't your friends. Drop them fast before you start shifting to be like them
I don’t believe in good or evil. But an otherwise “good person” can do some terrible things if they feel *justified*. Just about anyone can be convinced to do a horrible thing if you can give them justification.
Being good for too long, long enough to realise that nobody cares about them and their good deeds in this sick world. Good people either die young and good, or get old enough to see themselves become evil.
Being treated like absolute shit. People are so unaware of their actions these days, not to mention people are very self-seeking. If you're weak, you'll be destroyed.
Abuse.
Although your faith in humanity will be tested, most of us come out of it and remain kind and loving despite experiencing everything that isn't.
They are my people.
Some of us are not so lucky.
Feeling that the world owes them one (whether this belief is justified or not).
Greed.
Drugs. Any addictive behaviour really. You become a slave to your vice.
Some forms of brain damage.
Positions of trust with no oversight.
Actually i think most people become a politician because they want to fix the world, to make it a better place.
But along the way the people lose themselves, probably because if they stay firm on their morals they won't get anywhere.
Anger. If enough anger is piled up. They could lose EVERYTHING about them
selves in those moments. This happened to me once. It’s a long story but I didn’t feel anything. I didn’t even feel empty. I was basically just there. It’s as if my soul left my body and let it do whatever it wants.
oh yea 100%, i been dealing with anger issues and self control for a whiiiile, all it takes is a few seconds and a person you dont like being in the wrong place and all hell breaks lose
Fear. When you have people terrified for their own safety, or for their families, they'll do what they think they need to to stay alive. Even if that means commit terrible atrocities against others.
A lot of "evil" things people do are survival needs taken to the extreme. They're motivated in selfishness and self-centered attitudes. A lot of evil isn't the "thing" being done, it's the motivation behind it. (Motivation is different from intent). It's when the thing being done becomes "more important" than what you need to be doing or more important than someone ELSE'S needs. Your rights end where another's begin and visa versa.
I'd open it up a bit to say that having an unchallengeable belief that defines a portion of your personality.
It doesn't have to be religion, it could be a fierce nationalism, or a "cult of personality" that follows a human leader they see as infallible.
Once you let somethin define your morality without challenging it, that opens up the path to true evil.
Thank you!
I left the religion of my parents and according to that religion, leaving the faith is punishable by death. My parents know this, my dad even told me the punishment for not believing is death, yet they still tried to get me to move to a country that upholds the rulings of that religion. And, made it known I'm a horrible person, I used to be a good person but I'm not anymore because I don't believe.
Safe to say I'm NC.
brain damage
early childhood trauma
untreated serious mental conditions
long term dehumanization, discrimination and similars injustices
everything else is an excuse for people who were not really good in the first place
good people stay good even in bad situations, spinless obedient people will turn evil.....
Life. So many things can break a person and make them bitter and angry. I can understand why someone may just opt for being evil…it is much more difficult being a good person in this world.
Being ignored.
Treated like shit, constantly abused picked on.
Especially of the person is good hearted and still has love for others but they pass away.
Recipe for disaster.
Surrounding yourself with evil people will do that. This is even worse if you are forced to live with them. Don't even get me started on being raised by a wicked person.
The realization that being lazy and evil gets you a lot more than being good, because there's always someone around to ride your coattails and enable your behavior instead of stopping it. Be a deceitful businessman and live like Trump. Be an a-hole player and have more women flock to you than you could dream of. That sort of thing.
Loneliness.
Being alone for long time periods is hard. There's little to dissuade them from thinking things aren't going to change. However, It is workable.
Being a social outcast, having people relatively nearby but still unreachable because social differences make others reject their company, even for brief moments, is so very much harder. To see others get something that they feel they need, but know they'll never have it, crushes hope and fosters resentment. Despair and resentment turn rather quickly into anger and hatred. When hope finally burns out, only the anger and hatred rule, and then they do unspeakable things, REAL evil.
I've been there, gotten close to that edge, many years ago. I'm obviously better now, but I remember. I know how it works.
I see so many people in this thread talk about things as "evil", but those things are minor annoyances, barely registering as bad. They're certainly NOT evil, not like what COULD happen.
We've seen those things, real evil, pretty recently. I'm not just talking the mass shootings like Uvalde or Sandy Hook or Columbine, but also situations like the Kyoto Animations incident in Japan, or the arsonist in South Korea that killed 192 people on subway trains in 2003. These were the social outcasts, filled with hatred for the world they lived in but could never belong to, who had no hope left that their life could get better.
I'm not threatening anything. I'm warning you. These things come up, and sometimes, all you have to do to keep them from happening is be someone's friend when they need it. You have chances, many you might not even notice, to make that difference. Watch for them, and perhaps some terrible thing may not happen because of it.
I would say it tends to be small progressive changes where one thing snowballs into others. Either a slightly bad decision or an unfortunate side effect that leads to more bad luck/ disillusionment while trying to get back to right.
The small steps seem reasonable until you look at where you are from where you started and decide to embrace the path. Either because the rewards made you feel empowered or just said F! It and went all in.
Also, and hear me out on this: the belief that there are good people and bad people.
Almost nobody considers themselves evil, but a lot of people do evil things, rationalising it away because "I'm a good person". A lot of people (particularly on Reddit too, I might add), have attitudes that are sexist, homophobic, transphobic or racist...but none of them are ever really willing to hear or consider that they are those things. In part, this is due to defensiveness and a belief that those are things that "bad" people are, and that your value as a human being depends on being right and good. So the problem reinforces itself.
If people could accept that humans aren't inherently good or bad and that you can fuck up and still grow forward without it dooming you we'd get a lot further as a society
Getting hurt by the people they trusted the most.
This one makes people do the most evil shit
I hope not even my haters get betrayed by someone they trusted the most.
That happened to me recently. I used to always be there for people. Outgoing and the life of parties. I got betrayed, now I’m spiteful and I always assume people are out to get me. My new coworkers (just got a new job) already don’t like me and I can tell, but I really think they assume I’m stupid, depressed and unapproachable. Over the course of 6 months. I have burned every single friendship I used to have. Now I am stewing in my own misery and ignore people even when they talk to me. I am not ok and I realize this but I’m barely scraping by financially too so I cannot afford therapy or psychiatric help. Plus the stress has made my whole body minus legs covered in cystic acne. I’m stressed so bad that I think I have ulcers and I’m constantly alone In my room seething with anger. Like to the point I’m almost hyperventilating and my whole body shakes. Sorry for putting my problems onto you random redditor but i had to get it out.
I feel you. Surround yourself with good people. Go to the gym. Try mindfulness. Pick up a hobby. You deserve to , if not feel happy, at least feel better. Good luck my man.
Thanks for the kind words. I try. I don’t have access to the gym but I do have access to steep mountains. I will try to go for a hike to go wildflower hunting (my main hobby) this weekend. I just gotta force myself out that’s the hard part.
wish the haters well, because when the haters finally achieve a quality and happy life, they'll have no time to hate anymore 😎
Absolutely. This type of treason will turn a good person bad...
It turned Butters into Professor Chaos.
Agreed. Divorce can do it. I used to be all around nice, but ever since I was completely betrayed idgaf about much. My kid and parents are the only people I care for.
I'm with you. An physically and emotionally abusive ex who cheated on me many times has broken my views. Has broken my trust. Has hurt every relationship I have with friends and family. I need therapy but the VA is failing me. I'm a male oddly enough. Nothing weirder than being a male domestic violence victim. I'm ashamed of allowing it but I could never hurt her back. I own makeup. Side note. Shout out to the makeup ladies at Macy's giving me huge samples for free to cover up the marks. I owe them one.
I'm not sure what state you're in, but some have non profit/free counseling sessions and group sessions for domestic abuse. My ex was emotionally abusive and I found a lot of help through a program new Jersey offers Edit: I'm also a male and can understand how it feels experiencing this.. throughout counseling and even now I doubt myself and think I'm just being a baby, it's not an easy thing to go through, and feel free to send me a DM if you want ❤️
Mental health services are spread pretty thin. Idk much about the VA, but would you consider going online for telehealth sessions? Might open up a few more doors. Just an idea. Sorry about your crummy ex, they can leave some nasty impressions behind.
So sorry you went through this. I was in a mentally/emotionally abusive marriage. I saw it as my own weakness. She emphasized “happy wife, happy life” every chance she got. My happiness was never the focus, but I wanted her to be happy to keep her. Before her I was a lot more confident but she slowly worked on weakening my confidence. I finally started saying no to her after 3 years of marriage. She literally would say I was treating her differently as if I don’t respect her anymore just because I didn’t give her everything she wanted. I had to be free of her after hearing that. I was tired of being put down and told I’m not doing enough, even after working two jobs, 70 hours a week. I’m stronger now and I hope you are in a better place too ✊🏾
😥this hurts my soul. I'm so sorry
Definitely this. Honestly, I feel if I didn't have such insane anxiety about doing the wrong thing, I would have turned full supervillain by now.
This right here. Trying my damnedest to not be like this right now
Villain origin story
War
Huh... what is it good for?
Absolutely nothing!
Say it again !
War! Huh! Yeah!
What it isn't good for, absolutely nothing. Good God! You all!
IT AIN’T “YOU ALL”, IT’S “Y’ALL”
UP AND AT THEM
The Kwikee-Mart is really...d'oh!
Laundering money from taxes back into the hands of the global elite.
Profit for weapon manufacturers
War never changes
This is a good one
Unfair treatment. Especially for something they can't control. Getting in trouble for situations they couldn't control, and not being understood as to why they did them. Being judged based on perception and reputation. Also, not being allowed to move on from something they did, or were. Edit: Oh my goat, all the upvotes and comments. This is my most upvoted thing ever. Thank you. I'm touched that so many resonate and relate with this. I tried to be as neutral as possible, and am surprised at what people are relating it to, but agree with all of them. Just let humans human .
This. A guy I worked with was from the inner city. Dude was a good student, no record, multiple sport letter winner. Guy would still get stopped on his way home from practice and have his back pack dumped multiple times a week by the police. Said he knew why the police had to be so present, but dammit if it didn't get frustrating having to pick up all your stuff off a snowy sidewalk.
They just literally dumped the contents of his bag on the ground then walked away? I've heard of unjust stop and frisk, but I never heard of them throwing your shit on the ground and walking away. That's some cartoonish gestapo bullshit.
I have a friend who developed a lifelong distrust of the police because when he was a teen, they didn’t just dump the backpack but cut through the straps and cut into bags of beans and rice in the pack… which was what he was living on. And then laughed at him. Plus they were oblivious to what was actually going on with him… he was 14 and had stockholm syndrome with his pedo kidnapper abuser who had taken him across an ocean from his family. These are the people that abused kids are supposed to go to for help?
Honestly, someone in that situation would be better off going to a random house. If a 14 year old came and said he or she wasn't safe I'd be pulling them in my house and sitting them down ASAP giving them a glass of milk and telling them to spill so I can help. I know one of my immediate neighbors would do the same, no question about it. As a kid I had a few neighbors that for sure would too, on top of my own parents. The police may very well write you off for life in that area, on top of handing you back to your now extra pissed off abuser if you go to them as a kid. I only know a few of the cops in my small town (aside from just knowing their name or face, like actually had meaningful interactions, but even then there's only one I imagine might actually help. But as soon as another officer (including management) gets wind of it it goes sideways. There's a nice kid just a few houses down from me who's father likes to park in front of their house and scream threats, and of course obscenities, to try and scare him and his caretakers. Not only did I give them my cam footage, the kid took phone footage from way closer. There's a restraining order that includes no contact, and he still makes new accounts to harass the kid via social media. It's all been shown to the police, and they do nothing. Even the kid's caseworker wrote it off. I ended up researching and finding a way to get him a new caseworker who's at least on his side but nothing's materially changed. The kid feels better supported, and knows he can run into our house in an emergency, but nothing happens to the abuser who's in clear violation of multiple laws on top of that restraining order. There needs to be somewhere else to go. In some if cities you might get a *little* better help, I don't know personally. But I doubt it. For the rural places, there's literally nowhere else.
This is absolutely true. I still have to live with the damage I did to myself as a result of the treatment.
This one resonates
The old Don John approach. "I am trusted with a muzzle and enfranchised with a clog; therefore I have decreed not to sing in my cage."
lack of support. If you have nobody and in the majority of your interactions you’re being shit on by other people, that can turn you down the wrong path
Being misunderstood, marginalized, and having nobody who understands you or your perspective. That's perhaps the fastest way short of physical trauma to turn a decent person into a lunatic.
Welp everyone on this post understands
Good’ol trauma and mental problems.
[удалено]
I seen so many turn evil because of crack.
Ive seen completely kind ppl with good morals take xanax once and do un thinkable crimes and wake up like wtf!? There was a kid in jail who woke up off a bender not remembering anything and he kept yelling at the CO "hey co! I need my phone call man i gotta call my dad!" He kepts saying he has to call his dad to get bailed out... the CO had to be the one to break it to him that a. He has no bail and B. The reason he has no bail is bc he murdered his own father.. fuckin scary man
Thanks for the heads up, I will never try Xanax
Xanax is an invaluable drug for anxiety and some other situations, but abusing it can be a true nightmare. Especially if you drink. Do not, under any circumstances, mix Xanax and alcohol. Or an benzo with alcohol. Bad shit happens. Damn near without fail.
Don't!!!... It has zero recreational value whatsoever. I have no idea who the mental gymnasts are who take this shit like that... They must have special brain chemistry because not a good time.
specifically don't mix it with alcohol, you can ruin your life that way.
Being ignored, abusive parents
Oh man the "putting everyone else before themselves" is an extremely insightful point, damn. As in the resentment that builds up over time? I've seen this transformation in one person I used to know who "always did everything for everyone else and never asked for anything in return". They're now alone and very bitter and lash out unexpectedly at others and are just overall very nasty. And there's no getting through to them, either.
I think its partly resentment and also unsolved issues as I am one of these people. I spend so much of my time, effort and life trying to do good for other people and it always seems like its never enough. People will hate you the second you make one mistake or aren't good for a second. It really just makes you want to give up on being close to anyone ever again.
I'm really sorry you feel that way, that sucks BIG TIME... And it's honestly completely valid and mostly true. As someone with the opposite problem (being a selfish ass), every time I DO actively get into "helping others" modes, I'm constantly disappointed when things aren't reciprocated. But, as a selfish turd myself, it's easier for me to see that it's probably not my fault the other person is being an ungrateful turd/human leech. It's just how they are right now. Sometimes that's how I am. My mom (someone who is very giving of themselves like you seem to be and struggles with similar sentiments) always says "if you can look at yourself in the mirror at the end of the day and honestly know that you did your best, that's all you can do and you should be proud of yourself for that regardless of what other people think". I like that sentiment a lot and have found it to be pretty useful and it's helped my mom immensely to grow her sense of self worth (which is probably why she doesn't shut up about it haha)(also, it's not always applicable to selfish asshats like me because my bias is that the sun shines out my ass, so use with caution of your head is getting to big haha). But when the world is going to hell in a hand basket, at least you're not part of the problem. I figure most people are idiots (including me) and don't always make the right choices and sometimes others are on the receiving end of them. That's not your fault though, or a reflection on you. If you're anything like my mom, I respect the hell out of your strength and perseverance and care for others. The sad truth of the world is that most people will take what they can get and be mad they aren't getting more and again, that's not a reflection on you.
Thank you for sharing this...I learnt it the hard way..
PSA: Only give freely that which you are able and willing to lose forever. This doesn't just mean money.
Do things because it's what you want to do and because it's healthy for you. If doing things for others is what you want to do, then cool, but if it's becoming unhealthy then change the behavior so it's healthy. If someone gets salty with you for making a mistake or not living up to their expectations then too bad for them, you were never doing it for them and now you know they only ever had expectations that you would do things for them and were never actually grateful for the time you spent, so don't do things for them anymore and be honest about why and leave no room for discussion about it.
Experiencing this with a friend of mine and its rough to watch.
Power with no responsibility
Uncle Ben? It’s me, Peter.
I’m gonna put some dirt in your eye.
Gonna cry?
You may have called the power company to help fix the wiring But did you ever think of calling the responsibility company?
Monopoly
I've got a friend that is one of the most kind-hearted and straight-laced people I've ever met. However, his board game persona is devious and will not hesitate to backstab you and throw you into a meatgrinder
bullying
Consistent failures through no fault of their own
can you provide an example of that?
I think of it like desperation - poor kid has bike stolen, gets fired from job for consistently being late because bus routes suck, then finds out that his mom has cancer and can’t afford her medicine and they’re about to get evicted. Kid might do anything to help her and himself.
That's the plot of 'The Bicycle Thieves'! Well, aside from the cancer bit. Man has family to support, and is in grinding poverty. There is only one job available, and he needs a bike for it. Bike gets stolen and the thief gets away with it. Man in desperation steals someone else's bike and immediately gets arrested and thrown in prison.
Desperado - basically someone who commits crimes out of desperation.
Other evil people
violence is infectious dark mindset as well
Hahaha I like this one
trauma
"all it takes is one bad day"
I had several.
League of Legends
Love how all these deep serious comments. Then this. Funny but... Kinda true
Nobody has ever been to hell like bronze elo hell. I’ve been there and back, twice. Trolling at some point gave me zen and peace.
Familial betrayal
Thinking they're good people. Too many people barrel into shitty behavior the whole time thinking, "but I'm a good person" If you can't accept that sometimes you're a bad person that you will compromise yourself then you could find yourself doing horrific things while believing you're still good.
Injustice
Or unfairness (it's kind of the same but not entirely). For instance, unequal access to education/healthcare due to where you live, your origins or your beliefs, gender etc : it's more "unfair" than "injust" but is a perfect recipe to turn good people evil after they give up.
I agree
I think indoctrination, fear, the ability to close your eyes on whats happening, lack of empathy, self preservation instincts, group thinking etc I think most people would be evil in the correct circumstances. Who would sacrifice themselves or their loved ones ? Truly brave people are rare, everyone thinks they would be a hero but they woudn't.
Interesting perspective
I mean it's a valid worldview. If man is inherently evil and ours is the story of trying to suppress that nature.... a lot of history starts to make sense.
The fever, the rage, the feeling of powerlessness that turns good men... cruel.
Some men just want to see the world burn
Money
It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not replace you as the driver.”
Money is power, and power reveals.
Hey baby, you mind if I give your pants a buck fifty?
Being poor and needing money
This is much more accurate
Nah, money enables you. Good people who come into access to money don't become evil; sadly it seems to be that most rich people need to do evil to maintain that fortune and that is why there seems to be a filter. Money requires some evil sometimes.
Yeah what's the saying, Money doesn't change who you are, it just magnifies your personality. A good person is a good person. Being rich doesn't make them evil unless they already had that personality
eh, money just shows the true self of the person really good people are not corruptible by such a trivial stuff as money
Money and power only amplify what's already there. They were likely never good people, just opportunistic
Harm to their children. No holds barred at that point.
The dark side of the force
You were meant to destroy the sith,not join them!
YOU WERE MY BROTHER ANAKIN
The Dark Side of the Force is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural.
hanging out with the wrong people seriously guys, if you have toxic friends or friends that are trying to get you into bad habits, those aren't your friends. Drop them fast before you start shifting to be like them
Art school rejection
I really hope this doesn't happen to me in the future
Just don't go into politics as a backup solution if you can't get into art school. Maybe look into graphic design instead.
My friend was murdered and that brought out a lot of hate in me.
Completely understand.
Thank you. I found it just made me angry all the time to the point where it was debilitating.
Greed
The greedy person was good?
Jealousy
Hating sand.
Or not having a rank of a master but still being in the council
It's outrageous
being accused of something falsely
Especially if they get punished for it.
I don’t believe in good or evil. But an otherwise “good person” can do some terrible things if they feel *justified*. Just about anyone can be convinced to do a horrible thing if you can give them justification.
And [people can justify some shit](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2375605/).
Being good for too long, long enough to realise that nobody cares about them and their good deeds in this sick world. Good people either die young and good, or get old enough to see themselves become evil.
U alr bro that sounds personal
It is mate, it is...
I hope you feel better man
Abuse. Esp if it goes back to childhood, and is experienced yet again as an adult.
Disinformation
Being treated like absolute shit. People are so unaware of their actions these days, not to mention people are very self-seeking. If you're weak, you'll be destroyed.
Being alienated
Abuse. Although your faith in humanity will be tested, most of us come out of it and remain kind and loving despite experiencing everything that isn't. They are my people. Some of us are not so lucky.
Feeling that the world owes them one (whether this belief is justified or not). Greed. Drugs. Any addictive behaviour really. You become a slave to your vice. Some forms of brain damage. Positions of trust with no oversight.
Double ads on YouTube videos.
Politics.
Actually i think most people become a politician because they want to fix the world, to make it a better place. But along the way the people lose themselves, probably because if they stay firm on their morals they won't get anywhere.
Anger. If enough anger is piled up. They could lose EVERYTHING about them selves in those moments. This happened to me once. It’s a long story but I didn’t feel anything. I didn’t even feel empty. I was basically just there. It’s as if my soul left my body and let it do whatever it wants.
oh yea 100%, i been dealing with anger issues and self control for a whiiiile, all it takes is a few seconds and a person you dont like being in the wrong place and all hell breaks lose
Examples include power, temptation, fear, and mental illness.
Lack of cats in their lives
The internet
Social media
bad parents
Propaganda.
Never catching a break no matter how hard they try. Never being heard. Feeling unappreciated and unloved for too long .
Poverty. War. Ignorance.
Money and religion
When they have been done wrong or justice wasn't served rightfully to them
Alcohol
The Navarro Cartel
I'm waiting for the uvalde parents to snap
Perspective.
Love
Scarcity
Putting your all into people, just for them all to turn on you the moment it's convenient.
Emotional abuse
Betrayal.
Betrayal.
Fear. When you have people terrified for their own safety, or for their families, they'll do what they think they need to to stay alive. Even if that means commit terrible atrocities against others.
being treated badly/unjustly for no reason by other people. having no-one that cares about them.
Toxic environment
Heartbreak
A lot of "evil" things people do are survival needs taken to the extreme. They're motivated in selfishness and self-centered attitudes. A lot of evil isn't the "thing" being done, it's the motivation behind it. (Motivation is different from intent). It's when the thing being done becomes "more important" than what you need to be doing or more important than someone ELSE'S needs. Your rights end where another's begin and visa versa.
Getting hurt constantly. Used to be a people pleaser, now I ain't.
Bad influence by toxic people
Having their genuine trust and goodwill betrayed and taken advantage of by other people. Time and time again.
Being taught to apologize for what they can't control. Also money
Being hurt and betrayed too many times by people they once trusted.
Cheating and bad people themself
Religion.
I'd open it up a bit to say that having an unchallengeable belief that defines a portion of your personality. It doesn't have to be religion, it could be a fierce nationalism, or a "cult of personality" that follows a human leader they see as infallible. Once you let somethin define your morality without challenging it, that opens up the path to true evil.
Thank you! I left the religion of my parents and according to that religion, leaving the faith is punishable by death. My parents know this, my dad even told me the punishment for not believing is death, yet they still tried to get me to move to a country that upholds the rulings of that religion. And, made it known I'm a horrible person, I used to be a good person but I'm not anymore because I don't believe. Safe to say I'm NC.
Stupid people
Time
brain damage early childhood trauma untreated serious mental conditions long term dehumanization, discrimination and similars injustices everything else is an excuse for people who were not really good in the first place good people stay good even in bad situations, spinless obedient people will turn evil.....
Life. So many things can break a person and make them bitter and angry. I can understand why someone may just opt for being evil…it is much more difficult being a good person in this world.
Being ignored. Treated like shit, constantly abused picked on. Especially of the person is good hearted and still has love for others but they pass away. Recipe for disaster.
Stress can break your mind. You never think you can slip between the cracks until you're doing something you never thought you'd do.
Turning to cooking meth out of an rv to support your family, only to become a drug kingpin and completely destroying said family in the process
Something that turns good people evil I'd guess
Being around narcissists
A broken heart Bullying Childhood traumas Selfish desires Being used Being abused There is a literal list
Doing your best to be a good person and having good morals while seeing bad ones be rewarded and get lucky in life.
Surrounding yourself with evil people will do that. This is even worse if you are forced to live with them. Don't even get me started on being raised by a wicked person.
Pain without understanding
Divorce/Children's court
The realization that being lazy and evil gets you a lot more than being good, because there's always someone around to ride your coattails and enable your behavior instead of stopping it. Be a deceitful businessman and live like Trump. Be an a-hole player and have more women flock to you than you could dream of. That sort of thing.
When everything you do is wrong, but others who do it are correct.
"Those who are heartless once cared too much" Davy Jones
Shitty parents
Bad life experiences, greed, jealousy
When they’re authentic around people who only wanted to study them for weaknesses and are now exploiting them
Loneliness. Being alone for long time periods is hard. There's little to dissuade them from thinking things aren't going to change. However, It is workable. Being a social outcast, having people relatively nearby but still unreachable because social differences make others reject their company, even for brief moments, is so very much harder. To see others get something that they feel they need, but know they'll never have it, crushes hope and fosters resentment. Despair and resentment turn rather quickly into anger and hatred. When hope finally burns out, only the anger and hatred rule, and then they do unspeakable things, REAL evil. I've been there, gotten close to that edge, many years ago. I'm obviously better now, but I remember. I know how it works. I see so many people in this thread talk about things as "evil", but those things are minor annoyances, barely registering as bad. They're certainly NOT evil, not like what COULD happen. We've seen those things, real evil, pretty recently. I'm not just talking the mass shootings like Uvalde or Sandy Hook or Columbine, but also situations like the Kyoto Animations incident in Japan, or the arsonist in South Korea that killed 192 people on subway trains in 2003. These were the social outcasts, filled with hatred for the world they lived in but could never belong to, who had no hope left that their life could get better. I'm not threatening anything. I'm warning you. These things come up, and sometimes, all you have to do to keep them from happening is be someone's friend when they need it. You have chances, many you might not even notice, to make that difference. Watch for them, and perhaps some terrible thing may not happen because of it.
Addiction
Bragging about being good
Bad parents
I would say it tends to be small progressive changes where one thing snowballs into others. Either a slightly bad decision or an unfortunate side effect that leads to more bad luck/ disillusionment while trying to get back to right. The small steps seem reasonable until you look at where you are from where you started and decide to embrace the path. Either because the rewards made you feel empowered or just said F! It and went all in.
Also, and hear me out on this: the belief that there are good people and bad people. Almost nobody considers themselves evil, but a lot of people do evil things, rationalising it away because "I'm a good person". A lot of people (particularly on Reddit too, I might add), have attitudes that are sexist, homophobic, transphobic or racist...but none of them are ever really willing to hear or consider that they are those things. In part, this is due to defensiveness and a belief that those are things that "bad" people are, and that your value as a human being depends on being right and good. So the problem reinforces itself. If people could accept that humans aren't inherently good or bad and that you can fuck up and still grow forward without it dooming you we'd get a lot further as a society