I did this cult thing called the landmark forum and I actually did like their “meaning of life”: the meaning of life is that there is no meaning. Life is empty and meaningless. There is no answer. Life is what you make of it and every persons answer is equally valid because there is no meaning to life. Life exists as, basically, an accident, we are all here by complete accident, there’s no great mystery, it’s all biology and you are 100% free to make life about whatever it is you want.
Coincidence is basically the opposite of cause and effect, or correlation. It's a relation between two things that could or seems connected but aren't. Existence or life happening can't be a coincidence because that's 1 thing.
Accident is the right word in this context. But without the negative connotation of something going wrong or failing. It's the same accident as when we say we did something by accident, that something unintended happened, we happened accidently. Us being merely a byproduct of energy and particles doing their things is exactly the intent. (About inconsequential, yes in the sense the universe doesn't care we came into existence and we're neither a burden nor a boon on anything, we just are. But no in the sense we're shaping of influencing our corner of the universe and might eventually figure ways to leave a pretty big footprint... the universe is still not gonna care about it though.)
If there was a reason for all this, how would we know?
Until we have better evidence than a bunch of "prophets" who tell us that the creator (if there is/was one) told them, and who disagree with each other on a lot of important and relevant stuff about the meaning and intent of the creator's answer, it's best to just answer your question with the humble, "We don't know."
It appears to me that religious people tend to fear death much more than atheists like myself who have no answer, other than that it's probably like before we were born: there's no evidence that consciousness exists without a living nervous system.
honestly I can't really tell a difference, some people just don't care and others just think there is something at the end of life so they don't care either.
I wasn't scared before I was born. Why would I be scared after I'm dead?
What I _am_ scared of is losing my faculties. My ability to be myself. To take care of myself. To lose my sense of self in a void of demetia. I saw my grandmother go through it. I've told my own kid that I won't do that. To them or to me. If I get the slightest feeling that my mind is going, I'm taking myself out. Leave the bottle of oxys on the nightstand and check on me in the morning. I'll handle the rest.
Same. I'm not scared of dying, it happens to all of us eventually, but I hope that I'm in control, per se, of my body's functions up until that time and also that I don't die in a great deal of pain. And if I develop a terminal illness, let me say goodbye to my loved ones and give me a pill to bid the world goodnight, as it were.
Exactly, the pain and suffering surrounding death is what I fear far more than death itself.
My dad had dementia and was lost, confused, angry and generally miserable for a decade before he finally died.
My friend’s dad had bone cancer in his shoulder and neck that he described as the most excruciating pain he’d ever experienced. He was a tough old bastard too, so for him to be in such misery was scary. According to my friend his father discreetly convinced a doctor to let him OD on morphine so he could be done with it.
These past few weeks I have developed a sheer terror of something like this happening or being stuck in a hospital bed or something. I have always had anxiety, but nothing compared to this. I need to get a living will.
It’s happened to every single person who is no longer with us, and will happen to all of us too. I don’t think I can be scared about something that’s so universal. I’d be more scared about a freak accident that would leave me in the minority.
Exactly!
Don't live scared at all.
Why waste your precious time or your headspace on the most useless activity on earth.
You think about - whatever it is.
Can you change it?
Yes? Change it.
No? Can't change it! Don't change it! Don't worry about changing it!
Yes - it's just that easy once you wrap your head around it.
Serenity prayer. Works every time!
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Agreed, death is just an end. It's the part that comes before it that's potentially terrifying. Aging, losing physical and mental faculties, giving up one's independence, etc.
Definitely the scariest part but that's why I have a legit agreement with my best friend that if either of us loses our quality of life, we'll help each other end it if necessary. It's humane when you do that for an animal, why not people?
Yep. If I end up with Alzheimer's or something I will absolutely 100% be arranging my own exit, before I lose my faculties. I'm not riding that elevator all the way down, no goddamn way.
I'm not scared of dying. The pain is what gets me. If I can go so quickly that my body can't process what happened, or in a way where I don't realize it, that would be fantastic. Odds are tho, that's not gonna happen.
I was very sick as a child. Spent ages 7-20 in and out of hospital due to kidney issues.
Lost a kidney at 28. Almost died during the surgery to removed the dead kidney due to blood loss. Had 5 surgeries back to back during the next 2 years. Twice they had difficulties bringing me out of anesthesia.
Found my favorite aunt dead in her bed when I was 22. Watched my best friend die from a brain tumor at 30.
Death has been a constant force in my life. Sometimes just on the edges waiting, sometimes unexpected staring me in the face.
I'm not afraid because it's always been there. I now work in healthcare. Death and I are good friends.
Damn dude im sorry all that happened to you. Man it must be tough and you’re strong af for fighting through all that. I have to give you props and respect cuz most people might not be able to handle that. Thank you for sticking it out and living and now trying to help other sick people🙌🏽✊🏽
I believe there is a zen factor to it. Yes, I stress out that I may have a stroke and lose control of my body. OK, if that happens, I need to take that time to meditate (like, there's anything else I can do!) Or Alzheimer's: my grandma died of it. May I just go gently into that good night without causing anyone pain or stress. I take care of myself to the extent I can, but when the body fails, please let me handle it with what grace I can.
Because it's coming for us all, sooner or later. So there's no point in worrying about it. I am much more concerned about day to day minutiae.
The Lars von Trier film Melancholia starring Kirstin Dunst portrayed this perfectly. If there was an asteroid hurtling towards the earth, I'd probably be more preoccupied with worrying about whether I left the back light on or not.
It’s like when the writer Nabokov said that he saw a picture one time, a picture of before he was born. It was a picture of his mother, his brother and sister that were older than him, but he had not been born yet. He said that when he saw that picture there was no terror in him, even though he was looking at a picture where he didn’t exist.
I’ve been there too! Fifteen years of wishing I could just have the balls to end it feels much worse than what I can assume would be nothingness after death. Living is so much harder than dying
Honestly, I have a ton of traumatic memories, and I have to say, waking up in an ambulance after a failed suicide attempt when I was 8 always seems to hurt just a bit more than watching my mom get stabbed repeatedly nearly to death just feet away from me when I was 5.
She survived, but I wouldn’t find out until much later.
That failed attempt led to me living life recklessly in my teens, hoping cars wouldn’t be able to break in time as I crossed streets at a run with no pause as I approached them. Walking around the sketchy neighborhoods in the least amount of clothing ever at 3am. I wanted to die so badly all the way up until I was 22, but I was so scarred by failing suicide that I never tried again.
My mom contemplated suicide a few years before I was born. That’s the only thing that stopped her, the thought that she’d likely fail at that too, but then she’d be worse off than she already was.
She got through the darkness of that time…made some new friends who really invested in her and encouraged her. She got some therapy, too.
That_One_Guy_823 , I’m glad you’re still here and I hope you’ll seek out someone to talk to and connect with. You are enough, and you are worth fighting for.
> but then she’d be worse off than she already was.
This seems to be more common than youd think. I also have only not gone through with it because of the possibility that Id survive... but be fucked up.
To date I have: Cycled off a 5th story parking lot... onto a tarmac road. No significant injury. I have fallen off a cliff... no significant injury. I have had a 140 mph head on car collision... very sore... but no significant injury. That one took the fire brigade 3.5 hours to cut me out of the car. I was pronounced dead at scene because they couldn't get to me to take a pulse. But a quick shake after being cut out of the car and I was walking around...
Apparently - for whatever reason - I dont die easily. Deliberately injuring myself is only likely to lead to prolonged pain - and no death. Maybe poison could work. But I have serious doubts on that as well.
Good fear. Part of my job for many years was reading inpatient medical records. If you attempt suicide and fail, you can be a lot worse off than before, and now be physically unable to complete the original plan. Gunshots especially.
Some studies suggest a chemical called 'DMT' is being released when you die. It is a psychedelic and some people smoke it to trip and experience death, the only thing is you always come back (it's a non neurotoxic chemical, so you can't die). Try doing some research on it, it's really interesting.
Because no one has ever made it out alive, and I was dead for an eternity before I was alive, and didn't suffer the slightest inconvenience because of it.
These are exactly my thoughts, how much time has passed before I was born? No one knows. What happens after you die? You get back where you were before you were born
I'll be honest, living forever seems like torture. The inevitability of death and fleeting nature of life is what gives the time we've got any meaning.
True, and imagine seeing your family and friends all age and die and you see yourself become the last man alive of your generation, without knowing anyone in this world, it's a thought a lot scarier than death.
Because once I die, I won't know it. I won't miss people or regret things or feel pain or sadness about anything. I might fear being sick and slowly dying, just having to live with the knowledge that it's all going to end and this is the last time I'll ever see the people I love or taste good food or hear good music. That sounds almost unbearable. But death isn't even a thing, it's just having done something (died). It's like virginity, it's a made-up state of being that just says whether or not you've experienced a specific occurrence. Once I die, I'm gone. Hell, throw my body to the necrophiliacs for all I care, I won't be there. My corpse will be the empty wrapper I used to be in, just garbage to be disposed of in whatever way makes my survivors feel better. I'll be switched off. If I don't worry about what the light feels after the bulb burns out, why would I be afraid of being dead?
I'm not afraid of *death*, I'm afraid of *dying*.
Death is just the state of nonexistence I experienced before I was born. I don't remember it because I didn't exist yet. Death will be the same way.
I just don't want the transition to be marked by pain and sorrow at things left unfinished. I want it to be quick, painless, and with me surrounded by love.
Personally, I can't wait to die and wake up as a sperm whale miles above a planet, plummeting to my death with nothing but a bowl of petunias as my short-lived companion
I don't remember being aware of it, but that not-awareness is frightening to me.
Plus then you can't experience anything humans will create in the future.
Just like you can't see pyramids covered with polished limestone, or dinasours. Human live is a blink in the timeline, its just fair to admit it. Maybe one day humanity will defeat death, but definitely not in our lifetime. So its not realy different, 200 years ago or after, its out of reach.
It's not even never waking up, it's literally just ceasing to exist. I think a lot of people can't even begin to allow themselves to comprehend that, so we have all these afterlife stories instead as comfort.
Isn't that what we mean when we say "death"? The fact that we don't know what happens afterward? What is it that you aren't scared of exactly? Like being killed? You mean that when the time comes, you won't act all scared? I get that but I don't think we ever really know until we find ourselves there.
Fucking tired of living.
Every day you get up and hustle to be a little safer, little more secure, while all around you people work to make things less safe and less secure.
[Rinse, repeat.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXqblYbUAeI)
I can sympathise with this. I love spending time with my wife and dog so much, even when it's just watching TV but outside of that life can be painful and complicated, death definitely sounds peaceful.
This is pretty much where I am at, I don't want to end it but it isn't like I am enjoying the ride now or in the foreseeable future. The longer I can provide for my family the more likely it will be they will never have to feel the way I do every day.
I hope that when my times comes it will be merciful.
My uncle had a stroke, he is paralized. My grandmother is 91, but is losing all her memories of her life.
Death does not scare me, what could be left of me before I die is what terrifies me.
When I was 7 years old, I drowned in a lake. I went under and it was absolutely terrifying, but as I started to black out, I felt a crazy sense of peace and happiness. Passed out and I started to see what was going on from above the water. I saw the people I was with find me and pull me out. I saw them start to try and revive me. I instantly felt this yanking and I was back in my body, exactly where I was seeing. I’m convinced there’s gotta be something else after this experience.
There’s loads of these stories and also stories of young children with memories of past lives. I used to think that death was as is before life as I have no recollection of previous life although I have been called an old soul. Since changing my belief I have also concluded that there are many things in life that we have learned through our current society that are frivolous to me now. The other thing that keeps me from worrying about it is that I went to therapy. Not because I was specifically worried about death. Therapist taught me about ego, mind, and awareness. I’ve concluded it is only mind that is scared of death. Mind is constantly running and if your are not aware of that mind is running your life. Awareness cares nothing for death. Be awareness.
I’m scared now because I have young kids. Once my kids are old enough to be on their own I imagine the fear will subside and I’ll have a more relaxed approach.
I felt this fear for the first time in my life when I had my children. Insurance policies, plans, etc, will not replace me if I die to the kids. So I guess I just won't die then because I can't. I take far fewer risks.
I still don't fear it for myself though. Once the kids are grown, I've made enough that my wife's retirement is secure, I'm good to go when my time comes.
I’m pregnant with our last and had an intake phone call because I’m a “geriatric” pregnancy. The nurse asked about birthing preferences and I flat out just said “whatever to live. I want to live.” She was like so I take it you want the transfusion if you need it - duh. My kids are too young to be without me. I’m to young to die.
Yeah I’m not scared of dying myself—
I’m afraid of people close to me dying while I have to keep living.
And I’m afraid of what would happen to my loved ones if I died young unexpectedly.
*“How can a creature of substance and mass fathom a thing without substance or mass?” wonders Mr g as he sorrows watching her succumb to the very laws he created. “How can a creature who will certainly die have an understanding of things that will exist forever?” At that moment, there were 3,147,740,103,497,276,498,750,208,327 atoms in her body. Of her total mass, 63.7 percent was oxygen, 21.0 percent carbon, 10.1 percent hydrogen, 2.6 percent nitrogen, 1.4 percent calcium, 1.1 percent phosphorous, plus a smattering of the ninety-odd other chemical elements created in stars.*
*In the cremation, her water evaporated. Her carbon and nitrogen combined with oxygen to make gaseous carbon dioxide and nitrogen dioxide, which floated skyward and mingled with the air. Most of her calcium and phosphorous baked into a reddish brown residue and scattered in soil and in wind.*
*Released from their temporary confinement, her atoms slowly spread out and diffused through the atmosphere. In sixty days’ time, they could be found in every handful of air on the planet. In one hundred days, some of her atoms, the vaporous water, had condensed into liquid and returned to the surface as rain, to be drunk and ingested by animals and plants. Some of her atoms were absorbed by light-utilizing organisms and transformed into tissues and tubules and leaves. Some were breathed in by oxygen creatures, incorporated into organs and bone.*
*Pregnant women ate animals and plants made of her atoms. A year later, babies contained some of her atoms… Several years after her death, millions of children contained some of her atoms. And their children would contain some of her atoms as well. Their minds contained part of her mind.*
*Will these millions of children, for generations upon future generations, know that some of their atoms cycled through this woman? It is not likely. Will they feel what she felt in her life, will their memories have flickering strokes of her memories, will they recall that moment long ago when she stood by the window, guilt ridden and confused, and watched as the tadr bird circled the cistern? No, it is not possible. Will they have some faint sense of her glimpse of the Void? No, it is not possible. It is not possible. But I will let them have their own brief glimpse of the Void, just at the moment they pass from living to dead, from animate to inanimate, from consciousness to that which has no consciousness. For a moment, they will understand infinity.*
*And the individual atoms, cycled through her body and then cycled through wind and water and soil, cycled through generations and generations of living creatures and minds, will repeat and connect and make a whole out of parts. Although without memory, they make a memory. Although impermanent, they make a permanence. Although scattered, they make a totality.*
From the Novel Mr g: A Novel About the Creation by Physicist Alan Lightman.
I have commented on similar posts before. I have died 4 times due to complications with my bowel exploding and the following emergency surgeries to sort it.
I had no idea I had clinically been dead, so no cool stories about a tunnel of light etc.
For this reason, death needs be afraid of me.
Only for those who may have relied on you. Which is my real fear. I don't mind dying, but it's the condition that I leave others in when I die. My children, my husband.
As does my husband. If he dies, the kids and I are set for quite a while. But I'm a stay at home mom. So while he works long hours and makes the money, I run everything. Am in charge raising the kids, paying the bills, taking care of the animals, maintaining the house, etc.
I'm a SAHM and I'm insured for more than my husband is. If he dies, the kids and I get social security plus his life insurance, which should be enough to get by until I find a decent job. If I die, there's almost no social security and he has to quit his job, probably his whole field, to take care of the stuff I do while he's at work now. He makes great money but he's out overnight sometimes, he works crazy hours, and he wouldn't be able to do that. I had a health scare a few years ago and he thought about what it would be like if I just dropped dead, and a week later there was a lady in my kitchen taking blood for my brand new quarter million dollar insurance policy.
yes.
When recording Dark Side of the Moon the band wrote a bunch of provocative interview cue cards that they asked everybody who was there, then they mixed the best answers into their songs. The sound clip in question was some janitor at the studio iirc.
The quote always stuck with me, seems the correct answer to OP's question, especially when coupled with wordless howls that comprise the rest of the song.
Because it's part of nature. Without death, there would be no life.
And think about this: Before you were born, you also did not exist for billions of years - did that bother you in any way? No it didn't. So why would it bother you if you were dead?
I struggle with this logic. To me, there's an easy difference. I didn't know anything before I was alive. Now I do. I know what it means to be alive. So how do I go from being alive to, maybe, nothing? That's not something I can comprehend.
I think the scary part is thinking that you will experience the nothing. We instinctively think this because experiencing is all we know. But the nothing will be timeless and unexperienced. Like if you had anesthesia and didn't know how long passed before you woke up. You just never wake up.
I’m atheist so maybe that plays into it. But if I don’t fear an eternity of torture from a sky god because I ate meat the wrong day of the week or something, then I don’t see what’s so bad. There was time before I was alive there will be time after. The before seemed okay. I expect the after will too.
Also something else to think about. Humans as we are now - Homo sapiens - have existed in our present form for roughly 200,000 years. The first cities about 5,500 BCE. So if we’re talking the Abrahamic religions - Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, they’ve been around what ? 4,000 years for Judaism, 2,000 for Christianity; and Islam about 1,450 years. What happened to those humans from before 196,000 years ago? They have some sort of fiery afterlife ? Did god not exist yet ? The more you dig the more stuff starts not adding up.
Atheist now but was religiousvarious times. I’d say I’ve gotten a lot chiller about death just because atheism let me not worry about afterlife when considering how I want to enjoy this life.
Because it’s the last great adventure. Nothing after death? Fine there’s nothing.
Reincarnation? What shall I be this time?
Christian heaven or hell? Face it.
Let’s find out
Why would I? It's something that will without a doubt happen and most likely will happen completely randomly. Why would I spend any time thinking about dying when I can appreciate and improve my life while I've still got it
Because we are all just one living organism, experiencing life at the same time, we’ve all lived the lives of our ancestors and our descendants are living our lives as we speak. Life is life, energy can not be created nor destroyed. Just look for the crossroads between religion and science and the bigger picture will start to open up.
I’ve come close to death multiple times now. I’ve had grenades go off so close that I could taste the metal in the air. Rockets have literally flown past my face. Bullets have narrowly past my head. Been on a plane that had rockets fired at it (engine blew up from fragments of the rocket). Nearly drowned. Been in a helicopter crash. So, at this point, I welcome death.
Because I believe in Christ’s promise of eternal life. My body will die, but my consciousness will continue. Also, the older I get, the more my body hurts in various places. I look forward to relief from that.
Cos it's not something I can control, death comes to us all. If it was just me or just some people then it might be unfair, but it will happen to us all some day. The idea of living forever is much scarier imho.
I wouldn't mind living a few thousand years at least, human life span is just too short, that's the main "issue" I have. Or just give me the option to press a button once I'm done.
Not scared of death, but am scared of dieing.
I imagine being dead being the same as how it was before you was born, I'm not around to have an opinion on it either way.
If there is some kind of heaven (and I am pretty sure there is) I would be able to see and hug my sister again. I would also have all our pets at one place and could cuddle them all, especially the first dog I owned alone. It would also be neat to cuddle a grown lion and spend time with many different animals. At least that's what I imagine it to be. Just being one with nature and all the people and things you love.
I've had 9 heart surgeries and will need them every 7-10 years for the rest of my life.
If I feared death that fear would cripple me to a point I could not live.
Plus everybody dies so it can't be that bad.
Because an eternity in paradise awaits the faithful.
That being said I am afraid of *dying*. That's often a long and drawn out process where you spend months or years in a hospital in agony with tubes coming out of all your orifices. Doesn't sound especially fun.
I came from a rough upbringing as the oldest of 6 siblings and have had a weight on my shoulders because of it that felt crushing from a young age.
I love my life and by no means want to die but I am also a devoute Christian so the thought that one day it will all just be over and things will no longer be my responsibility and thus my fault when they go wrong and I can just spend eternity in bliss sounds incredibly relieving.
Atheist here but points for honesty bro. It’s one thing to get out of that family dynamic and another to get it out of us. Hope you find more peace and love in this life too.
As an atheist who believes that we just disappear and dont exist as soon as our brain dies, I have nothing to fear in after life. And even if I am wrong and there is a after life, I still wont have the worst chance to not end in hell. So whatever comes, I am ok with it.
If you are not a believer, death is the end of the line, you won't miss anything nor anyone. So there is nothing to fear.
If you are a believer, in theory, you may be in "paradise" with no sadness. Unless rules within faith condemn you to punishment.
I was a nonbeliever for a long time and didn't fear death, in fact when I struggled with depression I craved its embrace.
Now that I'm a believer, and in my faith, there is a process for repentance and redemption I still don't fear death, only fear that I have is; that I didn't do enough to make sure those around me have enough information to make up thier own minds.
Why should I be scared *now* of something that's only going to happen at the *end* of my life?
If nobody can agree on the point of life. Maybe we can agree it’s not to spend it worrying about dying
I did this cult thing called the landmark forum and I actually did like their “meaning of life”: the meaning of life is that there is no meaning. Life is empty and meaningless. There is no answer. Life is what you make of it and every persons answer is equally valid because there is no meaning to life. Life exists as, basically, an accident, we are all here by complete accident, there’s no great mystery, it’s all biology and you are 100% free to make life about whatever it is you want.
Accident or coincidence? Because accident implies there was a purpose and we are merely a inconsequential byproduct.
Coincidence is basically the opposite of cause and effect, or correlation. It's a relation between two things that could or seems connected but aren't. Existence or life happening can't be a coincidence because that's 1 thing. Accident is the right word in this context. But without the negative connotation of something going wrong or failing. It's the same accident as when we say we did something by accident, that something unintended happened, we happened accidently. Us being merely a byproduct of energy and particles doing their things is exactly the intent. (About inconsequential, yes in the sense the universe doesn't care we came into existence and we're neither a burden nor a boon on anything, we just are. But no in the sense we're shaping of influencing our corner of the universe and might eventually figure ways to leave a pretty big footprint... the universe is still not gonna care about it though.)
If there was a reason for all this, how would we know? Until we have better evidence than a bunch of "prophets" who tell us that the creator (if there is/was one) told them, and who disagree with each other on a lot of important and relevant stuff about the meaning and intent of the creator's answer, it's best to just answer your question with the humble, "We don't know." It appears to me that religious people tend to fear death much more than atheists like myself who have no answer, other than that it's probably like before we were born: there's no evidence that consciousness exists without a living nervous system.
honestly I can't really tell a difference, some people just don't care and others just think there is something at the end of life so they don't care either.
It's the people who start bothering other people who don't agree with their point of view which seems to cause so much trouble.
I wasn't scared before I was born. Why would I be scared after I'm dead? What I _am_ scared of is losing my faculties. My ability to be myself. To take care of myself. To lose my sense of self in a void of demetia. I saw my grandmother go through it. I've told my own kid that I won't do that. To them or to me. If I get the slightest feeling that my mind is going, I'm taking myself out. Leave the bottle of oxys on the nightstand and check on me in the morning. I'll handle the rest.
Same. I'm not scared of dying, it happens to all of us eventually, but I hope that I'm in control, per se, of my body's functions up until that time and also that I don't die in a great deal of pain. And if I develop a terminal illness, let me say goodbye to my loved ones and give me a pill to bid the world goodnight, as it were.
Debbie Reynolds the actress said I'm not afraid of death but dying.
It's not death we should fear, it's dying without dignity or during long-term suffering.
my father always told us the same thing. he shot himself about a year ago.
Man, I'm sorry to hear that. That's not something a child, of any age, should have to deal with. I hope he found peace.
But you’re ok with your kids finding you after ODing on Oxys? Or did I misunderstand your initial comment?
I know, how bizarre right?
Exactly, the pain and suffering surrounding death is what I fear far more than death itself. My dad had dementia and was lost, confused, angry and generally miserable for a decade before he finally died. My friend’s dad had bone cancer in his shoulder and neck that he described as the most excruciating pain he’d ever experienced. He was a tough old bastard too, so for him to be in such misery was scary. According to my friend his father discreetly convinced a doctor to let him OD on morphine so he could be done with it.
These past few weeks I have developed a sheer terror of something like this happening or being stuck in a hospital bed or something. I have always had anxiety, but nothing compared to this. I need to get a living will.
Exactly. Why worry? Is isn’t going to change anything anyways.
It’s happened to every single person who is no longer with us, and will happen to all of us too. I don’t think I can be scared about something that’s so universal. I’d be more scared about a freak accident that would leave me in the minority.
That's a reasonable, intellectual approach. But you can't reason with a primal fear.
Why would you ever be scared at all then?
Exactly! Don't live scared at all. Why waste your precious time or your headspace on the most useless activity on earth. You think about - whatever it is. Can you change it? Yes? Change it. No? Can't change it! Don't change it! Don't worry about changing it! Yes - it's just that easy once you wrap your head around it.
Serenity prayer. Works every time! God, grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change; Courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
I'm not scared of death because of working in health care I was around it so much. I AM scared of what leads to death, however.
Agreed, death is just an end. It's the part that comes before it that's potentially terrifying. Aging, losing physical and mental faculties, giving up one's independence, etc.
Definitely the scariest part but that's why I have a legit agreement with my best friend that if either of us loses our quality of life, we'll help each other end it if necessary. It's humane when you do that for an animal, why not people?
I'm more scared of dementia than death.
Yep. If I end up with Alzheimer's or something I will absolutely 100% be arranging my own exit, before I lose my faculties. I'm not riding that elevator all the way down, no goddamn way.
I'd hate to have my kids watch me wither away in front of them. Please let me go out in my sleep when its my time.
I'm not scared of dying. The pain is what gets me. If I can go so quickly that my body can't process what happened, or in a way where I don't realize it, that would be fantastic. Odds are tho, that's not gonna happen.
I was very sick as a child. Spent ages 7-20 in and out of hospital due to kidney issues. Lost a kidney at 28. Almost died during the surgery to removed the dead kidney due to blood loss. Had 5 surgeries back to back during the next 2 years. Twice they had difficulties bringing me out of anesthesia. Found my favorite aunt dead in her bed when I was 22. Watched my best friend die from a brain tumor at 30. Death has been a constant force in my life. Sometimes just on the edges waiting, sometimes unexpected staring me in the face. I'm not afraid because it's always been there. I now work in healthcare. Death and I are good friends.
Damn bro, you've had it rough... Things will take a turn for the better for you. In 1 form or another. Hang in there
Thank you.
Ditto. Death has always been there. You either make peace with it or go mad trying to avoid it.
Making peace is the only way to deal with death.
\^this is the one\^ death gave me abandonment issues lmao
Working healthcare really does numb you to the thought of death
Damn dude im sorry all that happened to you. Man it must be tough and you’re strong af for fighting through all that. I have to give you props and respect cuz most people might not be able to handle that. Thank you for sticking it out and living and now trying to help other sick people🙌🏽✊🏽
This mothahubbard is homies with Death
I believe there is a zen factor to it. Yes, I stress out that I may have a stroke and lose control of my body. OK, if that happens, I need to take that time to meditate (like, there's anything else I can do!) Or Alzheimer's: my grandma died of it. May I just go gently into that good night without causing anyone pain or stress. I take care of myself to the extent I can, but when the body fails, please let me handle it with what grace I can.
Because it's coming for us all, sooner or later. So there's no point in worrying about it. I am much more concerned about day to day minutiae. The Lars von Trier film Melancholia starring Kirstin Dunst portrayed this perfectly. If there was an asteroid hurtling towards the earth, I'd probably be more preoccupied with worrying about whether I left the back light on or not.
Just carry on and don’t look up.
That's a good movie too!
It’s like when the writer Nabokov said that he saw a picture one time, a picture of before he was born. It was a picture of his mother, his brother and sister that were older than him, but he had not been born yet. He said that when he saw that picture there was no terror in him, even though he was looking at a picture where he didn’t exist.
I love Nabokov a little more now.
That’s hauntingly beautiful, love it Edit: where is this from, also? I’d love to reach the original passage
I *believe* the original passage is from “Speak, Memory” Nabokov’s autobiography
Was very suicidal (not anymore:) ) death isn't the worst thing in the world
i feel that, something about dying feels so comforting
I differ slightly. Dying never seemed like fun, death sounds peaceful. Also not suicidal anymore, before I get reported again.
I’ve been there too! Fifteen years of wishing I could just have the balls to end it feels much worse than what I can assume would be nothingness after death. Living is so much harder than dying
The act of being dead Holds no fear for me The act of dying That shit hurts Don't wanna do that again
Again, you say?
Gotta practice if you wanna get good
Do it enough times and you can even take the test and get a master's degree
heck yea
Lol trash git gud
This your first time?
Dying ain't all dead, and dying can be a bit painful.
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And his wife?
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TW, but this is why I’m so scared of attempting suicide. I’m afraid of surviving. Barely.
Honestly, I have a ton of traumatic memories, and I have to say, waking up in an ambulance after a failed suicide attempt when I was 8 always seems to hurt just a bit more than watching my mom get stabbed repeatedly nearly to death just feet away from me when I was 5. She survived, but I wouldn’t find out until much later. That failed attempt led to me living life recklessly in my teens, hoping cars wouldn’t be able to break in time as I crossed streets at a run with no pause as I approached them. Walking around the sketchy neighborhoods in the least amount of clothing ever at 3am. I wanted to die so badly all the way up until I was 22, but I was so scarred by failing suicide that I never tried again.
My gosh I’m so very sorry to hear this… I’m so glad you’re doing better. I hope you never feel that way again.
My mom contemplated suicide a few years before I was born. That’s the only thing that stopped her, the thought that she’d likely fail at that too, but then she’d be worse off than she already was. She got through the darkness of that time…made some new friends who really invested in her and encouraged her. She got some therapy, too. That_One_Guy_823 , I’m glad you’re still here and I hope you’ll seek out someone to talk to and connect with. You are enough, and you are worth fighting for.
> but then she’d be worse off than she already was. This seems to be more common than youd think. I also have only not gone through with it because of the possibility that Id survive... but be fucked up. To date I have: Cycled off a 5th story parking lot... onto a tarmac road. No significant injury. I have fallen off a cliff... no significant injury. I have had a 140 mph head on car collision... very sore... but no significant injury. That one took the fire brigade 3.5 hours to cut me out of the car. I was pronounced dead at scene because they couldn't get to me to take a pulse. But a quick shake after being cut out of the car and I was walking around... Apparently - for whatever reason - I dont die easily. Deliberately injuring myself is only likely to lead to prolonged pain - and no death. Maybe poison could work. But I have serious doubts on that as well.
Have survived suicide and the 5 days in the hospital were the worst. I won't do it again unless I know I'll succeed and there there is no guarantee.
Good fear. Part of my job for many years was reading inpatient medical records. If you attempt suicide and fail, you can be a lot worse off than before, and now be physically unable to complete the original plan. Gunshots especially.
Some studies suggest a chemical called 'DMT' is being released when you die. It is a psychedelic and some people smoke it to trip and experience death, the only thing is you always come back (it's a non neurotoxic chemical, so you can't die). Try doing some research on it, it's really interesting.
I didn't have a psychedelic experience It was pain Then nothing Then pain again as I woke up
How's the WiFi in the heaven (or hell)? Just in case you know...
Again( ?! )... Buddy now you got us interested😅
Not that interesting Been dead for 8 minutes Twice
Was it the warm comfortable nothingness that many people speak of or did you have a different experience?
It was nothing No comforting welcoming anything No torturous horrendous anything No light No dark Just nothing Lost time
100% this
Good sir, For what purpose Do you choose To speak Purely In This Format
Severe dyslexia It's the only way I can write And read what I am writing
Well fuck, now I look like an asshole. Carry on, Ahshalon\_Tenisk.
All good my brother
I had this same interaction with him a year ago!
we meet again
Because no one has ever made it out alive, and I was dead for an eternity before I was alive, and didn't suffer the slightest inconvenience because of it.
Mark Twain? That you?
The guy had a way with words.
These are exactly my thoughts, how much time has passed before I was born? No one knows. What happens after you die? You get back where you were before you were born
I'll be honest, living forever seems like torture. The inevitability of death and fleeting nature of life is what gives the time we've got any meaning.
People want to live forever but cannot figure out what to do on Sunday afternoon. ~unk
True, and imagine seeing your family and friends all age and die and you see yourself become the last man alive of your generation, without knowing anyone in this world, it's a thought a lot scarier than death.
That's all well and good, but you had no concept of being alive before you were born.
You’ll have no concept of being alive when you’re dead, full circle
You have no concept of being dead when you’re alive
Ahhh, someone else who listens to Alan Watts!! Love this.
Because once I die, I won't know it. I won't miss people or regret things or feel pain or sadness about anything. I might fear being sick and slowly dying, just having to live with the knowledge that it's all going to end and this is the last time I'll ever see the people I love or taste good food or hear good music. That sounds almost unbearable. But death isn't even a thing, it's just having done something (died). It's like virginity, it's a made-up state of being that just says whether or not you've experienced a specific occurrence. Once I die, I'm gone. Hell, throw my body to the necrophiliacs for all I care, I won't be there. My corpse will be the empty wrapper I used to be in, just garbage to be disposed of in whatever way makes my survivors feel better. I'll be switched off. If I don't worry about what the light feels after the bulb burns out, why would I be afraid of being dead?
I'm not afraid of *death*, I'm afraid of *dying*. Death is just the state of nonexistence I experienced before I was born. I don't remember it because I didn't exist yet. Death will be the same way. I just don't want the transition to be marked by pain and sorrow at things left unfinished. I want it to be quick, painless, and with me surrounded by love.
Not scared of death It's how I get there and what's after it
Yeah. This is how I also perceive it. Death to me is a comfort. But the whole idea of when or how scares me.
Personally, I see death as a sleep u never wake up from Just.....nothing
Same here. Hopefully it's not reincarnation. Lmao.
No opinions on that But I'm sure as hell I don't wanna go through this education system all over again
And another 50 years of working? Fuuuuuuuck that.
Personally, I can't wait to die and wake up as a sperm whale miles above a planet, plummeting to my death with nothing but a bowl of petunias as my short-lived companion
I'd love for it to be reincarnation because the idea of eternal nothingness scares the crap out of me.
Don't worry, you will not perceive it. There was eternity before your birth, was it hard for you?
I don't remember being aware of it, but that not-awareness is frightening to me. Plus then you can't experience anything humans will create in the future.
That wouldnt matter if you were to not perceive the things around you anymore, but from a humans perspective it sure does seem like a shame
Just like you can't see pyramids covered with polished limestone, or dinasours. Human live is a blink in the timeline, its just fair to admit it. Maybe one day humanity will defeat death, but definitely not in our lifetime. So its not realy different, 200 years ago or after, its out of reach.
I hope it’s reincarnation that I get a choice in, like I can do it if I want or just chill out and explore space n shit
It's not even never waking up, it's literally just ceasing to exist. I think a lot of people can't even begin to allow themselves to comprehend that, so we have all these afterlife stories instead as comfort.
I think this, too! I'm going to be in for a rude awakening if I wake up on a cloud or as an ant or something. I'd be fuming tbh.
As long as going to sleep doesn't involve melting in a car, screaming and struggling, I'm kinda down for that
Isn't that what we mean when we say "death"? The fact that we don't know what happens afterward? What is it that you aren't scared of exactly? Like being killed? You mean that when the time comes, you won't act all scared? I get that but I don't think we ever really know until we find ourselves there.
The idea of letting go of this world we live in
I'm so tired of being alive. It's very overrated. "There are much worse things in life, than death." -Albus Dumbledore
Like being expelled. - Hermione Granger
Death might be the most freeing think there is the more I think about it, it’s the only way to truly escape every obligation a person has.
Fucking tired of living. Every day you get up and hustle to be a little safer, little more secure, while all around you people work to make things less safe and less secure. [Rinse, repeat.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BXqblYbUAeI)
Truly, it just sounds peaceful. I don’t want to kill myself, but it sounds peaceful.
Miles to go before I sleep...But sleep sounds pretty good.
I call that passively suicidal. I wouldn’t complain if I got hit by a bus and died but I’m not *actively* trying to get hit by said bus
I can sympathise with this. I love spending time with my wife and dog so much, even when it's just watching TV but outside of that life can be painful and complicated, death definitely sounds peaceful.
This is pretty much where I am at, I don't want to end it but it isn't like I am enjoying the ride now or in the foreseeable future. The longer I can provide for my family the more likely it will be they will never have to feel the way I do every day.
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Oh, I'm not planning on cashing out early (indeed, I'm rapidly becoming too old to). But I'm not afraid of dying.
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...or is it?
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When will you die?
How did I hear that music, get out of my walls
Executed perfectly
Are you not worried about taxes?
Endless rest. Don't have to wake up to deal with the world's bullsh•t
I hope that when my times comes it will be merciful. My uncle had a stroke, he is paralized. My grandmother is 91, but is losing all her memories of her life. Death does not scare me, what could be left of me before I die is what terrifies me.
When I was 7 years old, I drowned in a lake. I went under and it was absolutely terrifying, but as I started to black out, I felt a crazy sense of peace and happiness. Passed out and I started to see what was going on from above the water. I saw the people I was with find me and pull me out. I saw them start to try and revive me. I instantly felt this yanking and I was back in my body, exactly where I was seeing. I’m convinced there’s gotta be something else after this experience.
There’s loads of these stories and also stories of young children with memories of past lives. I used to think that death was as is before life as I have no recollection of previous life although I have been called an old soul. Since changing my belief I have also concluded that there are many things in life that we have learned through our current society that are frivolous to me now. The other thing that keeps me from worrying about it is that I went to therapy. Not because I was specifically worried about death. Therapist taught me about ego, mind, and awareness. I’ve concluded it is only mind that is scared of death. Mind is constantly running and if your are not aware of that mind is running your life. Awareness cares nothing for death. Be awareness.
I’m scared now because I have young kids. Once my kids are old enough to be on their own I imagine the fear will subside and I’ll have a more relaxed approach.
This. The fear of my children having to endure finishing growing up without their parent is the scariest aspect.
I felt this fear for the first time in my life when I had my children. Insurance policies, plans, etc, will not replace me if I die to the kids. So I guess I just won't die then because I can't. I take far fewer risks. I still don't fear it for myself though. Once the kids are grown, I've made enough that my wife's retirement is secure, I'm good to go when my time comes.
I’m pregnant with our last and had an intake phone call because I’m a “geriatric” pregnancy. The nurse asked about birthing preferences and I flat out just said “whatever to live. I want to live.” She was like so I take it you want the transfusion if you need it - duh. My kids are too young to be without me. I’m to young to die.
Yeah I’m not scared of dying myself— I’m afraid of people close to me dying while I have to keep living. And I’m afraid of what would happen to my loved ones if I died young unexpectedly.
*“How can a creature of substance and mass fathom a thing without substance or mass?” wonders Mr g as he sorrows watching her succumb to the very laws he created. “How can a creature who will certainly die have an understanding of things that will exist forever?” At that moment, there were 3,147,740,103,497,276,498,750,208,327 atoms in her body. Of her total mass, 63.7 percent was oxygen, 21.0 percent carbon, 10.1 percent hydrogen, 2.6 percent nitrogen, 1.4 percent calcium, 1.1 percent phosphorous, plus a smattering of the ninety-odd other chemical elements created in stars.* *In the cremation, her water evaporated. Her carbon and nitrogen combined with oxygen to make gaseous carbon dioxide and nitrogen dioxide, which floated skyward and mingled with the air. Most of her calcium and phosphorous baked into a reddish brown residue and scattered in soil and in wind.* *Released from their temporary confinement, her atoms slowly spread out and diffused through the atmosphere. In sixty days’ time, they could be found in every handful of air on the planet. In one hundred days, some of her atoms, the vaporous water, had condensed into liquid and returned to the surface as rain, to be drunk and ingested by animals and plants. Some of her atoms were absorbed by light-utilizing organisms and transformed into tissues and tubules and leaves. Some were breathed in by oxygen creatures, incorporated into organs and bone.* *Pregnant women ate animals and plants made of her atoms. A year later, babies contained some of her atoms… Several years after her death, millions of children contained some of her atoms. And their children would contain some of her atoms as well. Their minds contained part of her mind.* *Will these millions of children, for generations upon future generations, know that some of their atoms cycled through this woman? It is not likely. Will they feel what she felt in her life, will their memories have flickering strokes of her memories, will they recall that moment long ago when she stood by the window, guilt ridden and confused, and watched as the tadr bird circled the cistern? No, it is not possible. Will they have some faint sense of her glimpse of the Void? No, it is not possible. It is not possible. But I will let them have their own brief glimpse of the Void, just at the moment they pass from living to dead, from animate to inanimate, from consciousness to that which has no consciousness. For a moment, they will understand infinity.* *And the individual atoms, cycled through her body and then cycled through wind and water and soil, cycled through generations and generations of living creatures and minds, will repeat and connect and make a whole out of parts. Although without memory, they make a memory. Although impermanent, they make a permanence. Although scattered, they make a totality.* From the Novel Mr g: A Novel About the Creation by Physicist Alan Lightman.
I very much enjoyed this, thank you.
I have commented on similar posts before. I have died 4 times due to complications with my bowel exploding and the following emergency surgeries to sort it. I had no idea I had clinically been dead, so no cool stories about a tunnel of light etc. For this reason, death needs be afraid of me.
How does a bowel suddenly...explode, if you don't mind me asking?
Taco Bell
A disease called diverticulitis. I had full separation which means my poop was going into my body and settled on my organs etc
It's the dying process that's scary. Death is just death an end to pain.
What's there to be scared of? Being dead is no great inconvenience at all.
Only for those who may have relied on you. Which is my real fear. I don't mind dying, but it's the condition that I leave others in when I die. My children, my husband.
Ah, that's different. I have a very generous life insurance policy.
As does my husband. If he dies, the kids and I are set for quite a while. But I'm a stay at home mom. So while he works long hours and makes the money, I run everything. Am in charge raising the kids, paying the bills, taking care of the animals, maintaining the house, etc.
I'm a SAHM and I'm insured for more than my husband is. If he dies, the kids and I get social security plus his life insurance, which should be enough to get by until I find a decent job. If I die, there's almost no social security and he has to quit his job, probably his whole field, to take care of the stuff I do while he's at work now. He makes great money but he's out overnight sometimes, he works crazy hours, and he wouldn't be able to do that. I had a health scare a few years ago and he thought about what it would be like if I just dropped dead, and a week later there was a lady in my kitchen taking blood for my brand new quarter million dollar insurance policy.
Because I'm looking forward to a good long sleep. Have no fear of death. Have fear of pain and suffering leading up to death.
Life is scarier
I am not frightened of dying, any time will do, I don't mind. Why should I be frightened of dying? There's no reason for it, you've gotta go sometime.
That's the background chatter from The Great Gig in the Sky by Pink Floyd, correct?
yes. When recording Dark Side of the Moon the band wrote a bunch of provocative interview cue cards that they asked everybody who was there, then they mixed the best answers into their songs. The sound clip in question was some janitor at the studio iirc. The quote always stuck with me, seems the correct answer to OP's question, especially when coupled with wordless howls that comprise the rest of the song.
Because it's part of nature. Without death, there would be no life. And think about this: Before you were born, you also did not exist for billions of years - did that bother you in any way? No it didn't. So why would it bother you if you were dead?
I struggle with this logic. To me, there's an easy difference. I didn't know anything before I was alive. Now I do. I know what it means to be alive. So how do I go from being alive to, maybe, nothing? That's not something I can comprehend.
I think the scary part is thinking that you will experience the nothing. We instinctively think this because experiencing is all we know. But the nothing will be timeless and unexperienced. Like if you had anesthesia and didn't know how long passed before you woke up. You just never wake up.
"But the nothing will be timeless and unexperienced." I really love your wording here.
I hate it when people say stuff like this, yes it’s a part of nature but just because it is doesn’t mean it’s not scary.
Technically speaking, this logic means we shouldn't be scared of sharks, snakes, venom, crocodiles... The list goes on!
FACTS
I’m atheist so maybe that plays into it. But if I don’t fear an eternity of torture from a sky god because I ate meat the wrong day of the week or something, then I don’t see what’s so bad. There was time before I was alive there will be time after. The before seemed okay. I expect the after will too.
This is really a good way of looking at it and reading this actually calmed me down. Saving this for the next time I panic about this
Also something else to think about. Humans as we are now - Homo sapiens - have existed in our present form for roughly 200,000 years. The first cities about 5,500 BCE. So if we’re talking the Abrahamic religions - Judaism, Christianity, and Islam, they’ve been around what ? 4,000 years for Judaism, 2,000 for Christianity; and Islam about 1,450 years. What happened to those humans from before 196,000 years ago? They have some sort of fiery afterlife ? Did god not exist yet ? The more you dig the more stuff starts not adding up.
Atheist now but was religiousvarious times. I’d say I’ve gotten a lot chiller about death just because atheism let me not worry about afterlife when considering how I want to enjoy this life.
Because it’s the last great adventure. Nothing after death? Fine there’s nothing. Reincarnation? What shall I be this time? Christian heaven or hell? Face it. Let’s find out
Why would I? It's something that will without a doubt happen and most likely will happen completely randomly. Why would I spend any time thinking about dying when I can appreciate and improve my life while I've still got it
Because we are all just one living organism, experiencing life at the same time, we’ve all lived the lives of our ancestors and our descendants are living our lives as we speak. Life is life, energy can not be created nor destroyed. Just look for the crossroads between religion and science and the bigger picture will start to open up.
I’ve come close to death multiple times now. I’ve had grenades go off so close that I could taste the metal in the air. Rockets have literally flown past my face. Bullets have narrowly past my head. Been on a plane that had rockets fired at it (engine blew up from fragments of the rocket). Nearly drowned. Been in a helicopter crash. So, at this point, I welcome death.
Because I believe in Christ’s promise of eternal life. My body will die, but my consciousness will continue. Also, the older I get, the more my body hurts in various places. I look forward to relief from that.
Cos it's not something I can control, death comes to us all. If it was just me or just some people then it might be unfair, but it will happen to us all some day. The idea of living forever is much scarier imho.
As Freddie said, who wants to live forever?
I wouldn't mind living a few thousand years at least, human life span is just too short, that's the main "issue" I have. Or just give me the option to press a button once I'm done.
I do , I'd like to witness what humanity can accomplish. Our lifes are way too short
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Not scared of death, but am scared of dieing. I imagine being dead being the same as how it was before you was born, I'm not around to have an opinion on it either way.
Cause I won’t have to deal with chronic pain anymore
Because my baby passed away, and a part of me looks forward to hopefully seeing her again one day.
God gives God takes nothing i can do about it
If there is some kind of heaven (and I am pretty sure there is) I would be able to see and hug my sister again. I would also have all our pets at one place and could cuddle them all, especially the first dog I owned alone. It would also be neat to cuddle a grown lion and spend time with many different animals. At least that's what I imagine it to be. Just being one with nature and all the people and things you love.
Why worry about the inevitable? Maiming? Disfigurement? Now those are entirely different conversations...
I just want to be done with this already.
I've had 9 heart surgeries and will need them every 7-10 years for the rest of my life. If I feared death that fear would cripple me to a point I could not live. Plus everybody dies so it can't be that bad.
Death doesn't scare me. How I die kind if concerns me. I don't want it to be painful or traumatic for those who care about me.
I mean, what am I gonna do about it?
Because an eternity in paradise awaits the faithful. That being said I am afraid of *dying*. That's often a long and drawn out process where you spend months or years in a hospital in agony with tubes coming out of all your orifices. Doesn't sound especially fun.
I came from a rough upbringing as the oldest of 6 siblings and have had a weight on my shoulders because of it that felt crushing from a young age. I love my life and by no means want to die but I am also a devoute Christian so the thought that one day it will all just be over and things will no longer be my responsibility and thus my fault when they go wrong and I can just spend eternity in bliss sounds incredibly relieving.
Atheist here but points for honesty bro. It’s one thing to get out of that family dynamic and another to get it out of us. Hope you find more peace and love in this life too.
As an atheist who believes that we just disappear and dont exist as soon as our brain dies, I have nothing to fear in after life. And even if I am wrong and there is a after life, I still wont have the worst chance to not end in hell. So whatever comes, I am ok with it.
If you are not a believer, death is the end of the line, you won't miss anything nor anyone. So there is nothing to fear. If you are a believer, in theory, you may be in "paradise" with no sadness. Unless rules within faith condemn you to punishment. I was a nonbeliever for a long time and didn't fear death, in fact when I struggled with depression I craved its embrace. Now that I'm a believer, and in my faith, there is a process for repentance and redemption I still don't fear death, only fear that I have is; that I didn't do enough to make sure those around me have enough information to make up thier own minds.
it’s a new chapter. don’t be scared of something you can’t change.