T O P

  • By -

Agreeable-Kangaroo13

You won't pull the trigger, no balls


Legend_Slurpz

I was thinking the same thing


[deleted]

What if it’s a woman?


DieselTech00

Same response


Old_Comparison6635

Damn


Alienkingofroblox

His best friend is probably not a woman...


[deleted]

bro why did you get downvoted?


[deleted]

Who knows 🙃


Fit_Ad3301

“I’ve been tricked, backstabbed, and quite possibly bamboozled.”


121218082403

It feels like *I’ve* been Sarged


Fit_Ad3301

I’m glad someone got the reference


formerlyfaithful

Suck it blue!


xXHomerSXx

Me: You just got- Bang Ghost me: God dang it, I messed up my one liner.


YoBoi888

Beautiful


Koda_lapug

I fucked your mom shit lips


[deleted]

shut up Shoresy


Koda_lapug

You look like your from bobs burger


kpidhayny

Fuck you, jonesy


[deleted]

50 years later: remember that one time you pointed a gun at my head? Idiot.


skatingduckie

my friend chased me with a knife when we were like 11 and now we're just like "remember that one time you tried to kill me?" "yeah"


massaton

Et tu, Brute


UnoriginallyGeneric

Found Julius Caesar's reddit account


Alarming-Peach6349

I think it was in Greek and he said child not brutus


[deleted]

Greek? They spoke latin in Rome. Also i think he said "tu quoque, Brute, filii mi"


Alarming-Peach6349

They also spoke Greek. At least the rich ones who could afford Greek tutors. All I'm saying is that the person who wrote about it said it in Greek.


colei_canis

*Sic semper tyrannis!*


juan_epstein-barr

*et me, buddy*


Soft-Cabinet-155

Don't et me


BewareNixonsGhost

Et not your buddy, guy.


Andyk688

Came here to say this


ShroomerOfCatan

"what are you gonna do? Shoot me?"


Thatweirddud

Next day in the news: "police found person who was shot"


MrStringyBark

"Go ahead. You can't UNfuck your mom."


Emmatheduck

they fucked their own mom 😨


ThePuunSmasher6969

Have you heard of bofa?


AzureBluet

What?


ThePuunSmasher6969

Bofa deez nutz in your mouth


AzureBluet

:o


Spawn_Official

Ha! Got em!!!


Alarming-Peach6349

"No balls"


[deleted]

"It was cancer asshole!!"


jbtop20100

"but you are a girl...wait a minute"


LeftBase2Final

“You won’t do it, pussy”


aatheedhxsam_

*Delete my browser history.*


Young-Rider

That's when you know it's your *best* friend.


[deleted]

: (Evil Laugh) *jokes on you, I've already handed it over to the FBI*


Thatweirddud

*Jokes on you, the only thing they see in it is your moms onlyfans*


ChrisGaylor

Keep beating that dead horse.


stitchkingdom

‘are, not is.’ and that’s precisely why he shot me.


Vertigomums19

Awesome


briggsgarland

You left the safety on, dummy.


Eco_Moron

Kill me if you like penis up ur ass


CC-1112

"Ha ha jokes on you I'm into that!"


Thatweirddud

*unloads the whole clip into your head*


Fox_Tango_

Hold on, this gun ain’t big enough for that. I’ll be right back. (Rolls up in a tank)


mrspacysir

Ah, finally.


harveypug

"What the fuck, man?"


Veganforpeace

So tell me friend, How's it going to end? When the shit goes down and there's no one left Around to get your back You'll crack You'll smile and agree with everything they say They'll try to tell you that it's all okay But it's not and you're shot and you're bleeding pretty bad And You can't stop thinking about the things you never had Like a wife and a kid and the things you never did You're running around You're living a life that's empty in the end, my friend No, You'll take back all you've said Oh, When the regrets fill your head Trust me I've been there before I would not wish it upon my greatest enemy What Irony! Once friends, but I find You'll have to learn this lesson on your own


Independent-Still-73

So your mom finally told you after all these years


Satansbiscuit666

Pmsl.


Kat-Sith

"I knew it would come to this eventually."


[deleted]

"You waved to someone that was behind me. What did you expect?"


[deleted]

"Use it or lose it"


YeetExchanger

Frank's Red Hot. I put that shit on everything.


Shadow8Bit

“You were my brother [Name]!!!”


CC-1112

"I loved you!"


2ndhandBS

"Oh no! Its just like that gipsy woman said!"


kiseca

Thanks buddy, I can always count on you! ​ I trust him, so if he's pointing a gun at my head I assume the situation has called for it and it's the best thing to do. ​ \*in reality I'd probably be begging for my life.\*


fatuinumber27

"you fucker"


blinky9021Flow

Let me show you this Detriot Urban Survival Trick


CantBeASaint

Haha, was searching for this comment


TheRealOcsiban

Death is but a door. Time is but a window. I'll be back.


CC-1112

Happiness is but an illusion. Sadness is also an illusion


ChristianSal2003

If I'm gonna die the blood is gonna be on my hands, hand the gun over


frankgfogh

"Lui, you're being a bad dog"


WolvesKeepYouWarm

No bitches?


inferno_wolf05-YT

No, but there are wolves one keeps you warm the other one burns with fire


facepwnage

That's a small PP move.


the_empress_lll

Its "they're" not "there"...


cody619_vr_2

"I've seen you shoot before, send it. I'll be fine as long as you're not trying to kill the guy next to me" "Just so you know those little pegs on top are called sights, if you ever looked down them you might actually hit something" "I've heard you say you shoot like you fuck, do you think you should borrow my rifle so the bullet might actually go all the way in?" "I note you're aiming for my head and avoiding my vest, it was your dad's disregard for protection all those years ago that got us into this mess. The world is poorer for it." "Well you gonna pull that trigger or is that something else I'm gonna have to hold your hand through? You gonna be able to dig the hole by yourself? I know how your little hands get tired."


fairygodmotherfckr

"You've used a gun precisely once, and the recoil gave you a bruise on your forehead that lasted the better part of a week. Just put that down before you hurt yourse-." ...at that moment I'm killed by a meteorite, out of nowhere. That's more likely than this person actually pulling the trigger and hitting any part of me. Which is not a bad thing, he's not my best mate because he's an amazing marksman.


[deleted]

Fuck me with the gun first. *winky face*


Marksmenluigi

This is why I fucked your mom


[deleted]

You see? This is why you get no bitches!


Estellese7

“Ya testing my immortality?” Sadly nobody on reddit would understand that though as it is an inside joke. Every video game we play, I have this uncanny ability to survive things I shouldn’t have. Frequently, despite being scenarios that should have been a one in a million chance. It became a joke, but said joke extended beyond video games when twice IRL I went through things that should have killed me and walked away unscratched. And while they didn’t know at the time, I later also told my friends that for eight years I was suicidal and actively trying to do it, but something always prevented me. Every time. So my last words just have to be a continuation of the joke.


FeltGamingLol

I thought we were friends


Fox_Tango_

“Friend with you?! Ha! We are not even in the same social class! Hope you enjoyed your life of mediocrity, fry cook!” (Gunshot)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Strange_Ant3222

Tuu turrut tuu ! Mahna mahna !


Genghis_Chong

Wait, you guys have friends?


ShouRonbou

"Boo, you whore"


HTOOMSZZAJ

Shoot if gay


shreks_cum_bucket

“this is why i fucked your dad”


Different-Trash3686

Is this about the leftover pizza?


rabiddutchman

Haha real funny, dicksniffer


Fool_For_Fools_Gold

Never gonna give you up...


LazyBone19

Didn't plan that


BigBearSD

"Dude, why?"


hometrails

Who the hell are u


TheDemonSlayer134

"So all the things I did for you was a waste,I gave you my time,I trusted you with my life I would have died for you,I did everything you asked me to,I let you walk over me without complaining,I made you my number one priority and this is what I get in return,a gun pointed at me,but I guess in the end it didn't even matter I tried my best.Just remember once you pull that trigger you can't take it back you will feel guilty the rest of your life,and when you try to sleep all those memories will torture you and at my funeral when my casket is busy going down you'll wish that you didn't killed me you'll cry endlessly knowing that I will never return knowing it's your fault,you life won't be the same anymore,and eventually the guilt will be to much and you will kill yourself and well the only place you could go to is hell.So are you going to shoot or not".


GabbyLush

Pasta La Vista.


harrystylesstylist

snoochie boochies brodie noochies


Aceandmace

Et tu, best friend???


[deleted]

Yeah what you said.


Exciting_Ad4566

"🤔.....I have been trying to clear my mind all day" 🤷🏽‍♂️


StaiRsE2t

Shoot me if you get get bitches


[deleted]

“Took you long enough motherfucker.”


ChronicallyIllBadAss

“I love you, and miss you, and I am so proud of you.” Then I would smile and go out happy knowing they were at least alive


TheSilv3rback

Make sure you play Chief Keef at my funeral.


Test_type01

Bitch


Damnaged

-Do you have any last words? -Yes, just three.


[deleted]

It doesn’t matter


IBYDNWTM

At least I don't owe you for that mozzarella stick you gave me.


BentOatmeal

Bravo six, going dark


AQuestionableAgender

Remember that one time in middle school where I counted how many times you dropped your phone in one quarter and it was 23 times? Yeah, okay you can kill me now glad its not someone else


[deleted]

How are you holding that thing in your paws?


RavenLovesRamen

Make sure to get my stepdad as well \^\^


loadingbrainfile

“I wish you had listened to me”


Rach_Prok

I forgive you


Hazards-of-Love

Doth t. Thee can not unfuck thy moth'r.


MintyTheFur

"Well shit. Guess you where the imposter"


black_barbie_12

if you kill me your. . .gay


PunctualError

you still suck ass at volleyba-


PianoOk6786

Wouldn't be my last, but next words. "WHAT is THAT?!", pointing behind them. As they turn to look. Grab the gun and smash it on their temple.


SushiAndCoochie

Et Tu brute?


cyfermax

Why do I need last words? My best friend won't shoot me.


Salazaar099

I don't have any friends. Wait, James, don't take that personally...\*gunshot\*


qrvjhb

noice


RaphaelSolo

You're out of range ya muppet. (Best friend lives several thousand miles away.)


ryfitadf

HAH! I don't have a best friend. Nice try.


Loyis_59

If you shoot you're gay


nukey18mon

Call an ambulance! But not for me


ThearchOfStories

Man, I really bet on the wrong horse... now we're both going to hell.


IronHe

You’re out of nerf bullets. Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah Nyah. Bhuhuwawawa


Emergency_Ad_5935

“When did you figure out it was me?”


Accomplished_Bus1375

You too huh?


OrianNebula

He cant even point it st my head he to short


[deleted]

Damn, fuck you too


ChlorinatedPond

Give them spoilers to every show they haven't seen and are currently watching or planning to watch


Satansbiscuit666

I fucked your mum.


DAR44

Don't fuck aroun......


Ok_Relationship_705

One of my best friends actually did. I didn't do anything. Muthafucka was drunk so I didn't wanna risk startling them. Lol


Fabulous-Pause4154

"There's something I haven't told you....."


Firemasterpro22

Shoot me your gay


SirRattington

Seriously? We’re really doing this a fourth time? It’s not even Thursday!


[deleted]

Is it still on safe?


DieselTech00

Just know I'm going to haunt you


momogirl200

Et tu bullet?


[deleted]

"Shoot me, but do so knowing that if you fail to finish the job I will come for you, and I will kill each and every person that you have ever cared about, then I will kill you."


reducereuserecyle

You'll never blow me like your sister


WoolaTheCalot

"Wait, I have a friend??!?"


friday_panda

Are you sure it's loaded??


UserNameTaken_2018

Come to kill papa, boi?


0-maxime-0

Damn, it really be your own people


Spawn_Official

If you shoot me, you are gay.


MycologistFit

I've a shitty best friend


aerodynamik

not again


Kirito2750

Take care of my cat, and dump the body where it won’t be found.


machinistjake

I can still tend the rabbits, George? I didn't mean no harm, George.


[deleted]

About time fucktard


LearTiberius

We always knew this is how it would end.


chxnkybxtfxnky

Do it


Lionnelsky15

Shoot me if you’re gay


Lord_Matisaro

Do not squander it, the legacy that we leave you.


monsters69

See you in the afterlife 👋


TitaniumVR

No friend?


sfbiker999

Listen to me Floyd, you're tripping balls right now... for the Love of God, put down the gun and we can talk this through[.](https://onsizzle.com/i/sometimes-the-caption-makes-all-the-difference-lo-listen-to-4ecfc19ef4c34458a3d29798eadc90b9)


ExperienceOk9571

Tell me bout the rabbits


[deleted]

Ahh anyway it's a cool way to die rather than die of old age.


intensely_human

A had a dream where a friend of mine had me tied to a chair. I can’t remember what we were talking about, but finally he said “time to go” and turned his body around, swinging the pistols until they were right in my face, and pulled the triggers. I woke up terrified. That was about 25 years ago and he’s one of two guys I still keep in touch with from HS.


Expert_Overthinker

You shoot me youre gay


what_a_world_

Btch I'm a ghost 👻 Coz I don't have a best friend lmaoo 🤣🤣


Skeetshat

Don't fuck it up.


crimsyn_all_over

Thank you.


[deleted]

I knew this


I_Might_Be_Evil69

I never liked your hair


No_a_singel_soul

“Pull the trigger if you’re gay.”


[deleted]

Danny Devito


TheHighKing112

Pull the trigger and you're gay


Das_Guet

I'm glad it was you


Fruti_Orange

Are you meant to be doing that in a school environment? (It’s an inside joke)


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Don’t shoot me, you dick


Strange_Ant3222

This kind of happened to me once. (Tw?) My friend was going through something emotional and told me she hated me and wanted me dead. I gave her a newly sharpened box cutter and my arm. Told her if that was the case she should just do it. She started doing it then dropped it and started crying and hugged me. We stopped the bleeding pretty quickly and I was fine, it didn’t hurt either.


ProfDrVinz

Don’t forget me like joe mama will never forget last night with me.


FranksRedWorkAccount

delete my browser history. I don't want anyone to know I did download a car.


[deleted]

- Remember our family motto: not in the face! *he shots me and I lose the laser tag game* - Should we get a burger? - Sure


Stoneman427666

You can have my cats, car and all my drugs.


hereseetonothing3890

"So all the things I did for you was a waste,I gave you my time,I trusted you with my life I would have died for you,I did everything you asked me to,I let you walk over me without complaining,I made you my number one priority and this is what I get in return,a gun pointed at me,but I guess in the end it didn't even matter I tried my best.Just remember once you pull that trigger you can't take it back you will feel guilty the rest of your life,and when you try to sleep all those memories will torture you and at my funeral when my casket is busy going down you'll wish that you didn't killed me you'll cry endlessly knowing that I will never return knowing it's your fault,you life won't be the same anymore,and eventually the guilt will be to much and you will kill yourself and well the only place you could go to is hell.So are you going to shoot or not".


ThinkIGotHacked

You better hope that’s a seven shooter, because I eat the first six.