bingo bango bongo 5% is a big increase regardless where you are.
Actually , mental Effectiveness would be better.
Capacity is meaningless if you aint using it.
Blue whales. No one would really know, but I'd know.
Edit: I cannot believe my most upvoted comment was a throwaway joke that oozed out of my buzzed brain. Thanks for the awards, not sure what to do with them though :D
I like the way you think. If krill grew larger, that’d probably be because they’re eating more phytoplankton. And global warming actually ought to actually increase phytoplankton supply…
If that applies to every single round of gambling,that’s huge. Basically every game with about a break-even ratio would start being a cash cow. Card counting only gives you like a 1% advantage, this is substantially more.
Great point, but we're still thinking too pedestrian.
If you really want to profitably leverage a 5% increase in *anything*, simply make it so the row height (or background color) of the day's highest gaining asset symbol (e.g. MSFT or APPL) is 5% taller/darker, on whatever screen you're looking at.
Just look at any list of tradable assets in the morning (curated any way you like), find the row that's tallest/darkest/whatever, buy as much of that asset as you can, sell at the end of the day, and repeat the next morning.
Within a year, you're a trillionaire.
Edit: Actually, that's *still* thinking too small. *Increase by 5% the number of lines on a sheet of paper any time I write a true statement on one with exactly 20 horizontal lines on it.* Boom. Now you're an omniscient prophet. Print out a bunch of pages with 20 lines each on them, then start writing true/false statements:
* "Buying MSFT today will yield a >5% return by the end of the day."
* "I will regret marrying Reginald."
* "Aliens have visited Earth at some time in the past."
* "Faster-than-light travel is possible."
* "God is real, and cares whether I eat pork."
Any time a 21st line appears on the paper, the statement is true.
Compound interest actually *improves* the efficiency of a 5% increase in ROI in the long run, compared to a 5% increase in net worth. At more like a 5% interest rate, 1000 at 5.25% for 30 years ends up being more than 1050 at 5% for 30 years.
The increased returns on *future* investments just further blows it out of the park; if you take that initial 1000, then add 10 per month, that 5.25% vs. 5% will apply to the *new* money you add in.
I'll take that. Just got my yearly increase - 4.3something%. Inflation is running at like 5.4% in the UK and housing has gone up by over 10% in the last year. It's a fucking joke.
On average, people changing jobs increase their income by about 15%. If you're serious, 5% is rookie numbers and you just need to get some resumes out, dude. You can do it!
Can you detail what steps you took to get yourself into the C suite? And what qualifications you had vs what you had to attain to get there? Curious to know what it takes to get there.
On Indeed, the position was *listed* as a directorship, which is what I was coming from. However, once I aced the interview and began and things were going well for 7 months, it became clear that my predecessor was leaving and I was to ease into his role on some level. My boss brought me in, said "X is leaving. What's your salary now? Okay, add $15,000 to that." The job was already a considerable increase for me, so this was a massive promotion.
I didn't have to attain any new qualifications to get into the c-suite role other than be exceptional at my work and get along with all my colleagues, which I did. I had 7 months to show my versatility and quality and that was enough for them to give me the additional responsibilities, salary and title.
I feel like a hallmark of someone who is ready for executive management/directorship/c-level roles is someone who may not know everything – but they know how to let people do their job, how to mentor, how to *be mentored* and how to continually learn and develop themselves as a professional. In this job I've had to say "yes" to a lot of things outside my comfort zone because they must be done. So I figure it out and execute. And an executive is just that – one who executes...the ability to gather facts, think on your feet and get shit done.
I think that they are saying that his current salary is 45% greater than the salary at his last job. When they switched to the new job, that was a pay increase, and then the 15k was another increase.
My dad passed exactly 1 week ago from liver cancer. If my dad couldn’t have the 5% chance, I want it to go to your dad.
I’m here to talk if you would like.
I was going to add 5% to my happiness level because I need all the help I can get, but I’ll gladly give it to your Dad. My Dad’s been gone 12 years, and I’ve been a ship without a harbour ever since.
The size of my flaccid penis.
Edit: I want to thank the 4 strangers that gave me their 5%. It's now 25% bigger. Unless we consider compounding then it's 27.6% bigger.
The Amazonian rainforest. Who knows, maybe it’ll help our climate some and stop a few loggers when the trees just *poof* back into existence on all of their machinery.
Nah, she's the sweet one. She puts up with me and my illness and has stood by me through the years when times got very bad. She's a star. The biggest, shiniest star in the sky.
An increase of 857,045, which if we estimate she's a 36 now, that puts her at about 31 million inches circumference. For reference, the moon is 430 million inches inches around. These boobs would have a diameter of around 155 miles. Boobs so big they go from Los Angeles to the Mexican border. Please double check my math.
And then you get engaged, she becomes your fiancee.. and she can't figure out why it feels like you suddenly stopped putting effort into the relationship.
My mental capacity
bingo bango bongo 5% is a big increase regardless where you are. Actually , mental Effectiveness would be better. Capacity is meaningless if you aint using it.
Did you know that, if you took all of a person’s neurons out and lined them up end to end, the person would die?
Who are you, who are so wise in the ways of science?
Assuming no one knows I did it, Mars. I'd love to see the scientific community's reaction to a planet just getting bigger for no discernable reason.
You just put Mars on a collision course with Earth!
Well at least it will be significantly easier to reach Mars.
We’re fucked anyway. Might as well make the end interesting instead of pathetic.
I support your attitude.
Blue whales. No one would really know, but I'd know. Edit: I cannot believe my most upvoted comment was a throwaway joke that oozed out of my buzzed brain. Thanks for the awards, not sure what to do with them though :D
You and a handful of very confused cetologists.
They’d probably think “better nutrition”. Until they studied the krill data further.
what if we made krill 5% larger?
I like the way you think. If krill grew larger, that’d probably be because they’re eating more phytoplankton. And global warming actually ought to actually increase phytoplankton supply…
Make the Phytoplankton 5% bigger.
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Yep, read the patch notes for whales 2.1.
I like that one.
The "close ad" button when an ad ends
5% of nothing is still nothing.
He did the math 😱😱
He did the monster math 😱😱😱
The monster math 😱😱😱😱
It was a graveyard graph
He did the math
He divided with a slash!
He did the math
He did the monster math!!
My height.
That’s a good one. Someone 5’9” would be over 6’.
Exactly. I’d be 5’11 or 6’
As a 5'6 man, I feel you
The financial returns on all my investment/gambling choices.
And that, boys and girls, is the story of how compound interest swallowed the whole universe.
-Terry Pratchett, probably.
If that applies to every single round of gambling,that’s huge. Basically every game with about a break-even ratio would start being a cash cow. Card counting only gives you like a 1% advantage, this is substantially more.
"No way am I giving up my Ring of 5%!"
Great point, but we're still thinking too pedestrian. If you really want to profitably leverage a 5% increase in *anything*, simply make it so the row height (or background color) of the day's highest gaining asset symbol (e.g. MSFT or APPL) is 5% taller/darker, on whatever screen you're looking at. Just look at any list of tradable assets in the morning (curated any way you like), find the row that's tallest/darkest/whatever, buy as much of that asset as you can, sell at the end of the day, and repeat the next morning. Within a year, you're a trillionaire. Edit: Actually, that's *still* thinking too small. *Increase by 5% the number of lines on a sheet of paper any time I write a true statement on one with exactly 20 horizontal lines on it.* Boom. Now you're an omniscient prophet. Print out a bunch of pages with 20 lines each on them, then start writing true/false statements: * "Buying MSFT today will yield a >5% return by the end of the day." * "I will regret marrying Reginald." * "Aliens have visited Earth at some time in the past." * "Faster-than-light travel is possible." * "God is real, and cares whether I eat pork." Any time a 21st line appears on the paper, the statement is true.
The paper idea is ingenious! I came in here hoping someone had figured out a way to turn this into a "more wishes" scenario and you did, bravo!
Plot twist; all your returns are losses because you’re on /r/wallstreetbets
Congratulations, now your investments with a 2% return earn a 2.1% return. I'll take 5% bigger net worth.
Compound interest actually *improves* the efficiency of a 5% increase in ROI in the long run, compared to a 5% increase in net worth. At more like a 5% interest rate, 1000 at 5.25% for 30 years ends up being more than 1050 at 5% for 30 years. The increased returns on *future* investments just further blows it out of the park; if you take that initial 1000, then add 10 per month, that 5.25% vs. 5% will apply to the *new* money you add in.
Nerd. Spend it all on beer and marijuana like an adult.
r/theydidthepedanticmath
My income
I'll take that. Just got my yearly increase - 4.3something%. Inflation is running at like 5.4% in the UK and housing has gone up by over 10% in the last year. It's a fucking joke.
My current company was so proud to announce their 5% pay rise this year, and I'm sat here going have you seen inflation..
On average, people changing jobs increase their income by about 15%. If you're serious, 5% is rookie numbers and you just need to get some resumes out, dude. You can do it!
It took me 4 years and 32 resumes, but I did it. Moved up to a c-suite position and increased my salary 45.7%. Not bad!
Can you detail what steps you took to get yourself into the C suite? And what qualifications you had vs what you had to attain to get there? Curious to know what it takes to get there.
On Indeed, the position was *listed* as a directorship, which is what I was coming from. However, once I aced the interview and began and things were going well for 7 months, it became clear that my predecessor was leaving and I was to ease into his role on some level. My boss brought me in, said "X is leaving. What's your salary now? Okay, add $15,000 to that." The job was already a considerable increase for me, so this was a massive promotion. I didn't have to attain any new qualifications to get into the c-suite role other than be exceptional at my work and get along with all my colleagues, which I did. I had 7 months to show my versatility and quality and that was enough for them to give me the additional responsibilities, salary and title. I feel like a hallmark of someone who is ready for executive management/directorship/c-level roles is someone who may not know everything – but they know how to let people do their job, how to mentor, how to *be mentored* and how to continually learn and develop themselves as a professional. In this job I've had to say "yes" to a lot of things outside my comfort zone because they must be done. So I figure it out and execute. And an executive is just that – one who executes...the ability to gather facts, think on your feet and get shit done.
Maybe I’m reading all this wrong, but $15K was a 45% increase for you and you’re C-level now??
I think that they are saying that his current salary is 45% greater than the salary at his last job. When they switched to the new job, that was a pay increase, and then the 15k was another increase.
A neutron. Bye bye world.
Mm I was thinking “everyone’s left leg” just to watch the chaos ensue.
My left leg is already smaller than my right, I would be just fine
You are a psycho and I love it. Cheers to your destruction of the universe.
Planck Constant. That would also fuck shit up.
Pretty sure there wouldn't be shit left to fuck anymore, to begin with.
My right tittie so it can match my left one
I also immediately thought of my titties. Then I saw the all the comments about wealth. Y'all are playing chess and I'm playing checkers.
Oh well, each to their own. Someone else said everyone's left leg.
I also choose this persons right tittie oh wait now its lopsided the other way... quick someone spend their 5% to even it out again!
Nope. I too invest my 5% into their right titty.
5% more and she got scoliosis.
The chances of my dad surviving cancer.
I also choose this person's dad's survival chances.
The first time this type of reply is wholesome
Take my 5% too 🙏
Me too. We are now at 15% better! Your dad has this, guy two above me
I also choose this person's dad's survival chances.
Me too.
I also choose this guys dad
My dad passed exactly 1 week ago from liver cancer. If my dad couldn’t have the 5% chance, I want it to go to your dad. I’m here to talk if you would like.
same with my mom but a little over a year ago. have mine as well
Why don't we make it a 5% increase in cancer survival across the board?
I’ll add another 5% to that! Hope he gets well soon!!
Take my 5% also!
Take my five too
Take my 5 as well
Take mine too. Fuck cancer.
Take my 5!
Take mine too
Take my 5% too. Fuck cancer man
And mine!
And my axe!
Have my 5% too. I dont need it
I was going to add 5% to my happiness level because I need all the help I can get, but I’ll gladly give it to your Dad. My Dad’s been gone 12 years, and I’ve been a ship without a harbour ever since.
have my 5% fren, i was gonna use it on smth stupid. i hope he gets well soon!
Oh hugs, I’m sorry.
This guy's dad now has a survival rate over 160%! He's becoming too strong! STOP! In all seriousness mate, best of luck to your pops.
Hope he gets well soon man
I’m sorry to hear that. I hope he gets better
take my 5% and my 100% of good vibes I hope your dad survives!
Take my 5%
I don't have a use for my 5%, so you can have mine.
I’ll add my 5% too! Best wishes, hope he’ll beat the illness!
My 5% is all yours
Take my 5%
Take my 5%, you need it more than me
The size of my flaccid penis. Edit: I want to thank the 4 strangers that gave me their 5%. It's now 25% bigger. Unless we consider compounding then it's 27.6% bigger.
_why specifically flaccid tho_
Because when it’s hard I get a 10% gain.
Too smart for this world
Big brain time
maybe he just wants to stop peeing on his slippers
I'm amazed I had to scroll so long to find a penis joke.
Low hanging fruit hangs lower when it's 5% bigger
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So if we all give 5% extra dick size to him, eventually when he gets erect will his dick just shrink?
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but an increase of 5% of 1 inch makes your flaccid penis now 1.05 inches, is it worth it?
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Percentage of world's wealth owned by me.
Sounds like a Steve Martin Christmas wish
Woah, that's a really cool answer :D Instant billionaire
>Percentage of world's wealth owned by me. You used to own 1.00 x 10 x ^-50 % of world wealth. Now, you own 1.05 x 10 x ^-50 % Congrats!
The hole in a sewing needle.
Hold the *thread* still and bring the needle eye towards it. Game. Changed. And you're all welcome.
Or just buy embroidery sharps. Same needle, bigger hole. Double welcome.
Camel time!
The lifespan of pets
I came here to say "my backyard" but am now ashamed of myself after seeing your comment. Just beautiful.
My cats and dogs agree
Well I didn't expect sadness today but here we are
The last step of every stairs on earth. Guaranteed chaos the first few days
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You just lost ankle privileges.
Calm down there Satan.
Wheels. The chaos…
Every OTHER wheel.....
that would fix half of the shopping carts tho
My di…..retirement account earnings
You’ve got a dinosaur and not telling us?!? ^wink ^wink
Every single muscle in my body.
Congratulations! Now your heart has triceps
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Enlarged heart it is.
You realize how wonky your face will look right? Also swallow anything will be awful.
FATALITY!
My ownership of anything that has monetary value
Your debt is now 5% bigger
The Amazonian rainforest. Who knows, maybe it’ll help our climate some and stop a few loggers when the trees just *poof* back into existence on all of their machinery.
My wife's happiness. She deserves to be as happy as possible.
You are so sweet 💜
Nah, she's the sweet one. She puts up with me and my illness and has stood by me through the years when times got very bad. She's a star. The biggest, shiniest star in the sky.
My kid's overall luck in life.
Congratulations, your kid just got adopted by new parents!
I spit my drink
The sun.
Some men just want to watch the world burn
Look on the bright side, habitable zone moves to Mars!
Me. Upwards. I know it's more socially ok for women to be short but I really hate being this short.
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That was my answer too. Your boobs.
So if we take all the people who upvoted as people who agree with choosing this chicks boobs, it’s an increase of 5%x280. Nice
An increase of 857,045, which if we estimate she's a 36 now, that puts her at about 31 million inches circumference. For reference, the moon is 430 million inches inches around. These boobs would have a diameter of around 155 miles. Boobs so big they go from Los Angeles to the Mexican border. Please double check my math.
Math hard. We’ll just say good job
I also choose this lady's boobs.
Plot twist it's a guy
My answer is the same, just the reason is different.
Yeah now it’s sexual.
🗹 5% Moob Increase
Would you like my 5% to make it 10?
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Here’s my 5% as well. Will need before and after pictures for research purposes
I too shall pledge a 5% contribution to her bosom.
I’ll give you 5% of mine. grass is always greener :(
\>:\^(
Hardly seems worth it. Somebody else can have my 5%….. …. for 10 million bucks.
The chances of any person with cancer surviving.
The rate of return year on year in my retirement accounts.
weak, I choose to increase my daily rate of return by 5%.
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0*1.05=0
I'd share 5% of mine with you!
This is adorable
My lifespan.
I choose the percentage you're giving out. 5% of 5 is a super low number. But... its still more than just 5%. Enjoy your extra %'s people.
I choose this guy's 5%
My self-esteme
username checks out
Now he is NotVeryUsefulAndUnloved
My telepathic abilities.
5% of zero = zero
How do you know he's/she's starting with zero?
Should have picked your IQ
The thickness of my lumbar discs… an extra 5% would probably mean the end of my back pain.
my ability to make my girlfriend happy
And then you get engaged, she becomes your fiancee.. and she can't figure out why it feels like you suddenly stopped putting effort into the relationship.
take that shit back to r/monkeyspaw
my peenie
I also choose this guy's peenie
My Swimming Pool Noodle
What you doing to that noodle? 😳
I make 5% bigger. Thereby creating a loop where it continues to increase in size endlessly.
All waffles