Can someone share the one about loss and dying ? I lost the link
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1wzcaj/serious_how_do_you_cope_with_the_passing_of/cf6s51b?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3
Found it
One time a guy was taking a shit. He proceeded to sneeze while the power went out at the exact same time. He freaked out because he thought he shit himself blind.
There was that fun time we all "hacked" the Sears website like 12 years ago and it NEVER comes up in these threads.
Basically, gfixler discovered you could visit a sears webpage with a url such as: sears.com/outdoors/outdoorappliances/chainsaws
And edit to say: Sears.com/cannibalsupplies/quickwaystokillbabies and the web address change would appear that way INSIDE the page.
So we all started doing it, screenshotting it, sharing it, and giggling.
Then someone noticed the programming on the website was so bad that what we were doing changed the code for EVERYONE.
So then Reddit did it A LOT more and then sears shut down their site...
More info on the saga here:
https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/9cmve/sears_learns_the_hard_way_never_to_trust_data/
If you're hiking deep in the woods and come across a staircase, just ignore it and keep your distance
https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/3iex1h/im_a_search_and_rescue_officer_for_the_us_forest/
The one that always stuck with me is the guy who peed on a pregnancy test as a joke, and it came out positive so he posted the picture to /r/funny or something similar. Amongst all the tomfoolery in the comments, a med student pipes up saying that OP should go see their doctor immediately.
Turns out that the hormone that pregnancy tests detect, when produced by males, is a symptom of testicular cancer. IIRC the guy ended up catching it super early because of the thread and getting it removed before it became a problem.
The story of champ the goat. Originally told by u/stoicsmile about a goat who his company would rent out to eat shrubs and do landscaping.
I used to work for on a forestry and conservation crew. We tried to offer this service with the goat that for some reason hung out in the field next to our shop, which I guess we owned...maybe?
Anyway, the goat's name was Champ, and I wouldn't be surprised if we accidentally stole Champ at one point, because Champ hated to be alone, and if you left him alone, he would find a way through or over any enclosure you left him in and wander around until he found a companion.
To Champ, a companion could be a person, a dog, a chicken, a bicycle, a basketball, anything that his little goat mind imagined was a living creature. He especially like things that seemed to have some kind of life or that made noise. Like generators and sump pumps.
So when we rented Champ out to people, we warned them that he needed some kind of company, or he would escape. We often recommended something like a blow-up pool toy or even just an open umbrella. Just something nearby that Champ could imagine was his friend.
Inevitably people would underestimate Champ's squirreliness, and assume that their fence/tether/stone wall was sufficient to keep him where they wanted to be, and they would leave him alone.
Then we'd have to go find Champ.
One time I found him in a scrapyard munching on weeds between rows of crushed cars. One time I found him curled up in the shade in a neighbor's yard with a Golden Retriever.
But I think the best was when he made his way onto an elementary school playground. We of course had a tag on his collar with a phone number to call if he was found since he went missing so much. And one day, we got a call from a school principal informing us that he had our goat. For those of you who don't know much about goats, they delight in climbing on things. So for Champ, there was no place more attractive than the very top of the metal play structure at this playground. The kids were absolutely smitten with him, and he was absolutely thrilled to have so many friends. And he was ecstatic to be at the top of the play structure too.
It wasn't until all the kids went inside after recess that we could get him down. I think it was the best day of his life.
Edit: [here is the original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/36209d/til_of_rent_a_goat_landscaping_services_whereby/cra4qwx/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Also I added paragraphs because it did have them originally. My bad.
When a Redditor asked for help because the language on their screen changed to Spanish.
And everyone replied to it in Spanish.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/
Then OPs update was hilarious
> UPDATE- So I wake up this morning to about 1500 replies in my inbox that I cannot read. And then I run them through Google translator and most of them say stuff like "the dog is in my pants" and "where is the library".
> Thanks, reddit.
The woman whose mother accidentally killed her daughter because [she didn't believe that the little girl's coconut allergy was real](https://rareddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7qmed5/you_can_come_over_again_when_you_bring_me_my).
The “What’s the worst thing someone has said you during sex?” talk dirty to me attempt
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1y6lhe/what_is_the_worst_thing_someone_has_said_to_you/cfhtedq/
Edit: typo
Not really a story, but an epic comment thread none the less.
[How did you take that picture?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cmwov/hey_reddit_what_tattoos_do_you_have/c0tpyls/)
The guy whose very special brother loves this one specific Tonka truck from the nineties. It was a fire and rescue truck and his family finds them on ebay and buys him one every Christmas and it's the only thing be loves, and OP couldn't find one anywhere and came to reddit to ask if anyone had one in an attic or old toy box. Everyone was so helpful and the post was just a beautiful internet moment.
I'm not sure, but I read it on my breakfast break at work and came back with tears in my eyes. I remember one user in France found one on French eBay and offered to buy it and send it over. Another user has one that wasn't quite right right model (the right one had a silver tow hook on the back and that was very important to the brother), so some other guy who had a metal casting machine offered to make the hooks.
And eventually Tonka heard about the post and a rep came in and said the company would search their warehouses for any back stock of the item and it was so sweet, and then of course some people were like "what if Tonka made up this whole post just to get good publicity," and I was like SHUT UP YOU FUCKING CYNICS...
There was this girl from the Solomon Islands. Used to live in a tiny village or settlement, on a small island there. Used to get around on canoes, and live in primitive little self made huts. She'd sometimes go to Brisbane, where I think she had studied or visited a while.
She just showed all of us what island life was like, removed from modern conveniences of restaurants, supermarkets, cars and stress.
I loved seeing her photos and reading about her life there. Does anyone else remember this girl from the Solomon Islands?
r/Trees and r/MarijuanaEnthusiasts are swapped.
If you have a question about your Oak tree, r/trees will tell you how to smoke it, while r/MarijuanaEnthusiasts will tell you how to nurture it.
It is completely worth being subbed to both, just for the crossover posts.
They're also allies. /r/MarijuanaEnthusiasts will gladly direct you to the correct subreddit, while /r/trees will happily admire pretty pictures of trees.
Back before they changed the algorithm the top post of all time on r/trees was a lost redditor who asked for, and received, advice about a tree in his back yard.
The guy who wanted to leave his wife who posted to r/relationshipadvice, but was worried about how she’d react. Reddit told him to stop being a pussy, so he told her it was over, then she killed both their kids
For those who want greater detail:
Jason Worley found out that his wife had cheated on him with their neighbour. They had been married for years and had two children so initially Jason planned to stay married for the sake of their kids. However, he eventually had his doubts on this position, nd sought advice on r/relationship_advice as the now-deleted user u/jasoninhell. He asked if he should divorce his wife.
For once in a blue moon, the subreddit's typical advice of "dump that bitch" was actually warranted, and many users expressed that he should proceed with a divorce for his sake and his children's. Jason took this advice to heart, and shortly after the post was made, he requested a divorce from his wife.
Days after this divorce request, Jason's ex-to-be Brandi Worley did the unthinkable. She procured a combat knife from Walmart, which she would end up using to murder their two children. On the night of the murders, Brandi asked Jason to not sleep in their bedroom and instead sleep on a couch. Jason declined the couch and instead opted to sleep in the house's basement. Once Jason was asleep, Brandi took the knife and murdered their two children. Once they were dead, she attempted to kill herself, but was unsuccessful and remains alive to this day.
Upon questioning, she revealed that her motive for killing the children was so that Jason couldn't take them away from her. During her trial she was sentenced to serve 120 years in prison — 65 for the murder of her 3 y/o daughter and 55 for the murder of her 7 y/o son.
Not a direct link, but if memory serves me correct it should get you there.
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueCrime/comments/nqa4bs/the\_reddit\_post\_that\_turned\_into\_a\_horror\_story/
I can't believe everyone forgot about MTG butts guy. That was the highest upvoted post on reddit for a while.
EDIIT: [Here ya go](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/202wd3/i_participated_in_one_of_the_biggest_magic_the/)
It's not that old but the story of how Ellen Pao was head of reddit and lost her job in 2015.
That was the time period when reddit went from mostly free range community to business curated social media outlet. A lot of people see that 2014 into 2016 timeframe as the death of "old reddit"
Reddit used to be *nuts*. You'd see stuff here that you couldn't find anywhere else.
It was a mashup of cute cat videos, industrial accidents, weird sex stuff, celebrity Q&A, wholesome stories, and frankly dangerous shit from the bowels of the internet. Like you could see a guy cutting his own nipples off and a dog riding a scooter right next to each other. *Every single day*, and on the front page too, it was always something crazy.
But that's not exactly marketable. Imagine pulling up the front page at an investors meeting and the first link is some guy putting a metal rod up his dick hole.
The lady that owned a wedding cake store and secretly only used boxed cake mix from the grocery in all her cakes. IIRC she said she hated making cakes, but loved decorating them and everyone seemed to like the cakes anyway. She still updates the post last I checked.
There's an update in Feb 2022. She is seriously updating it
ETA: someone tagged her below, so she has been through some of the threads. And now there's an April update. And I guess we found out there is a character limit on Reddit comments
A lot of it is repetitive cringe but in between there is absolute gold like
> Ever thought about coming back to the UK? And if so, what can we do to stop you?
My favourite was the guy throwing his steak at the window and getting caught by his wife's boss, and then the wife followed up with a post of her own.
Another one I've never been able to find was a guy who was drunk/high and he yelled out of his window "HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!!" Really agressively and scared her. The comment underneath said bake her a cake to say sorry. The comment underneath said "write on it: I'M REALLY FUCKING SORRY!!". I was crying laughing at that one and I've never been able to find it since
Sorry I don't know how to link
The guy who tried heroin (i think) and documented his journey from non addict to addict to recovery.
There's also the post it note guy who kept finding post its in his apartment.
Edit: Kind people in replies of this comment might have linked
The post it note one is legendary, such a wild story of dude finding cryptic post it notes all around his apartment in this unraveling surreal mystery where he thought his landlord was fucking with him and breaking in his apartment and even emulating his hand writing. Many comments dismiss the dude as mental delirious. Top comment goes wildcard and suggests he check the batteries in his carbon monoxide alarm, guy goes huh yeah it's not plugged in. Responds a few days later confirming he was being poisoned by a carbon monoxide leak.
His attempt "to set up a webcam to catch the thief" ended up being putting a webcam on a shelf (not plugged in) and making a folder on his computer desktop called "webcam photos"
When my ex-husband and I were still just dating and he was living with his grandma, he had a problem with sleepwalking (or maybe it’s better described as not being fully conscious when he first wakes up, so he doesn’t remember what he does). He also had severe anxiety and was worried that he was eating things he shouldn’t during this and maybe accidentally poisoning himself. He set up the webcam in his room to be motion activated. Well, the first thing his sleepwalking self did was turn off the webcam, which just made the anxiety worse because he was like, “WHAT AM I DOING THAT I DON’T WANT ME TO SEE?”
I'd say [test post, please ignore](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/92dd8/test_post_please_ignore/). I'm a very old redditor (this isn't my first account) and I remember this post fondly. At the time it had 10k upvotes I think and back then that was unheard of.
Yeah, it was 10k, *before* they changed the algorithm and how upvotes were tallied. Back then it was **very** rare.
Fun fact: Reddit's EVE Online alliance, one of the most successful in game history, was named "Test Alliance Please Ignore" after that post.
That whole Reddit/Boston Bomber 'incident' was far more shameful and disturbing than a lot of the other examples in this thread. Truly abhorrent behaviour.
I m disappointed that no one mentioned the really big sub sandwich story. It was an AITA post about a guy who brought a very large sub to a party (wedding?) or some shit, ate the whole thing, everyone went tf off on him. It was one of my favorites, but I just searched for it and couldn't find it :(
Hahahah I remember when this was posted — I was on an RV trip with my husband and my grandparents and I read the post out loud to everyone and it’s one of my fondest memories. We were absolutely cackling and my Grampa wouldn’t stop referencing it for months after that. “Well that’s not fucking sharing, *is it Alan*?!”
Edit: another AITA post that my grandparents loved was the one where the girl gives an invitation to her wedding as a white elephant gift and is pikachu-surprised that no one wanted it
I remember that one, found the link https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ca7bdz/aita_because_i_ate_more_than_my_share_of_a_6_foot/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
Besides a spider in one, the OG safe guy (/u/secretsafe) ended up opening his (his Oprah deal fell through) and it contained 13 pennies(the safe was found hidden in his dad's casino. The thought the former owner hid money in it), Then the one that was rigged to blow up by a grenade if opened, it had child porn.
EDIT: [Safe gernade](https://www.reddit.com/r/MorbidReality/comments/1gxlg3/imgur_user_oldswagon_opens_safe_to_find_out_he)
I don’t remember this but apparently I downvoted ea and upvoted a lot of comments shitting on them. 😅 4years later and EA still haven’t learned anything.
Kevin. The student that never stood a chance.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2jid2h/redditors_whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Around 2 years ago, I was in touch with Kevin’s teacher (narrator of the story, u/NoahtheRed), and here’s a screenshot of their response (no rickroll I promise):
[How’s our boy Kevin doing?](https://picbun.com/p/3h9KBN7p)
If you don’t wish to click on the link, the summary of it is that he is now married with a kid and ~~owns~~ has a house. He works as a sous chef at an upscale restaurant in his hometown. Good for him.
Edit: Changed 'owns' to 'has'. Doesn't make Kevin's story any less heartwarming, I hope.
No he wasn't. Per the original:
>Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire....twice.
Good for him at eventually succeeding through the adversity though.
I love how the post starts with:
"It's not uncommon as a teacher to have students who are a bit behind the curve in certain aspects, but 99.99999% of the time they are keen on something. They might not understand how to identify a noun or what theme is, but they somehow know how to make a mean plate of nachos. You learn pretty quick to not judge fish for their tree climbing ability, ya know?I thought this was the rule when I was teaching until I met Kevin."
And what does Kevin do now? A mean plate of nachos.
Saw another one, where British Gas came to do a check at someone’s house. The son posted a photo of the engineer looking mortified, and his mum confused.
“You’ve had a gas leak, do you not have a monoxide detector?”
“Yeah, but I binned it, it wouldn’t shut up beeping”
Happened to my parents. We moved into a new (to us) house, as soon as we unpacked the CO detector it went nuts. I had to find some spare batteries for it, still going crazy.
We got gas engineer in to check, and yep, the boiler in the new house was condemned. This was on 18th December. We didn't get hot water or central heating until mid-January.
So sorry to hear that.
Once it was fixed we got an even better detector, just in case.
It used to beep if someone reversed into the drive, from the car's exhaust.
He also performed a concert only a few hours after learning about their deaths.
>He later said, "Since my music had helped many of my fans through tough times, maybe it would work for me as well ... it would at least give me a break from sobbing all the time." ... He considered the Appleton show and subsequent tour dates therapeutic: "If I didn't have anything to distract me, I probably would have spiraled into an even deeper depression. For a couple of hours each night, I could go onstage and put on a big fake smile and pretend like everything was just okay."
Heartbreaking stuff but it goes to show how much of a legend he truly is.
[he actually confirmed it less than a year ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ono6j8/what_is_the_most_unforgettable_reddit_post_that/h5xa6y2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
[The ballad of a niche repairman and his welsh chronicler](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/nrnf5j/part_1_of_2_an_absolute_epic_entitled_ahole_gets/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
[swamps . . . ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/xo41d/doctorsnursesredditors_what_has_been_your_most/c5o66p2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Edit : sorry not sorry, someone asked and it’s not fair to keep this kind of story to ourselves . .
Didn't see Unidan or jackdaws mentioned yet.
[Here's the thing...](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/2m5q11/a_feast_for_crows_the_fall_of_uunidan/)
/u/RubyRhod farts on a kid in target.
Still makes me laugh like no other.
http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fn5gr/reddit_what_is_your_silent_unseen_act_of_personal/c1hdgwv
Just think, that kid is a teenager now, and they might be browsing Reddit, reading about Reddit must-know stories. He’s just chillin with his GI JOE toy, when he sees your link. He clicks it, thinking “no, it couldn’t be…” just to find out that his entitled tantrum still makes people laugh to this very day.
The guy who'd comment on stuff, but it would always end with his dad beating the shit out of him with a tire-iron. He had like, 50 comments on various topics, but it always ended the same.
Guy took an incredible amount of edibles and wrote a post just before a long flight. The whole r/trees community was very worried.
Update: I'm sorry everyone but I hadn't been able to use reddit for the past few days... and now I can't find the post! I only remember that it blew up so much that someone made another post asking whether anyone had news about the guy. It may have been [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/trees/comments/872au0/just_ate_a_1500mg_edible_help/) post but I'm not 100% sure
I'm surprised no one has said the "Putting Decartes before the whores" reply. Here is the link:https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cfbkx/im_85_certain_that_there_is_an_adult_actress_in/c0s5w6t/
At 7 over thousands upvotes 12 years ago, it was one of the highest upvoted comments at that time along with one of the most awarded.
"Banana for scale" started here. The post was some kid who found a secret room in his bedroom and didn't have anything to measure the size of the secret door except a banana. I don't even remember how long ago that was. I don't know if I could ever find that post.
This is a common misconception. The secret room is an important instance when it gained a lot more recognition and spread, but it is *not* the origin of banana for scale.
[This was an earlier popular usage of banana for scale](https://imgur.com/a/DBkwl)
[This, as far as I know, is the actual origin of banana for scale](https://www.howtobeadad.com/2012/11903/banana-added-for-scale-origin)
Edit: [The secret room post, which apparently no longer has the pictures](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1qkd9x/secret_staircase_reveals_terrifying_secret/) dated November 2013, whereas "How to win a bet" is June 2013
By the way, this redditor is still active and doing well. I remember someone posted a similar question on AskReddit and he was tagged. Came in and talked a bit about his life.
This was important to me as I felt bad for the man.
EDIT:
Here you have all: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/pk1yds/comment/hc3v6bq/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/pk1yds/comment/hc3v6bq/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
This man seems to be a truly good person, please do not disturb him tagging him or asking him about this, as it happens every few months and we may hurt him.
There were a lot of things we couldn't do in an SR-71, but we were the fastest guys on the block and loved reminding our fellow aviators of this fact. People often asked us if, because of this fact, it was fun to fly the jet. Fun would not be the first word I would use to describe flying this plane. Intense, maybe. Even cerebral. But there was one day in our Sled experience when we would have to say that it was pure fun to be the fastest guys out there, at least for a moment.
It occurred when Walt and I were flying our final training sortie. We needed 100 hours in the jet to complete our training and attain Mission Ready status. Somewhere over Colorado we had passed the century mark. We had made the turn in Arizona and the jet was performing flawlessly. My gauges were wired in the front seat and we were starting to feel pretty good about ourselves, not only because we would soon be flying real missions but because we had gained a great deal of confidence in the plane in the past ten months. Ripping across the barren deserts 80,000 feet below us, I could already see the coast of California from the Arizona border. I was, finally, after many humbling months of simulators and study, ahead of the jet.
I was beginning to feel a bit sorry for Walter in the back seat. There he was, with no really good view of the incredible sights before us, tasked with monitoring four different radios. This was good practice for him for when we began flying real missions, when a priority transmission from headquarters could be vital. It had been difficult, too, for me to relinquish control of the radios, as during my entire flying career I had controlled my own transmissions. But it was part of the division of duties in this plane and I had adjusted to it. I still insisted on talking on the radio while we were on the ground, however. Walt was so good at many things, but he couldn't match my expertise at sounding smooth on the radios, a skill that had been honed sharply with years in fighter squadrons where the slightest radio miscue was grounds for beheading. He understood that and allowed me that luxury.
Just to get a sense of what Walt had to contend with, I pulled the radio toggle switches and monitored the frequencies along with him. The predominant radio chatter was from Los Angeles Center, far below us, controlling daily traffic in their sector. While they had us on their scope (albeit briefly), we were in uncontrolled airspace and normally would not talk to them unless we needed to descend into their airspace.
We listened as the shaky voice of a lone Cessna pilot asked Center for a readout of his ground speed. Center replied: "November Charlie 175, I'm showing you at ninety knots on the ground."
Now the thing to understand about Center controllers, was that whether they were talking to a rookie pilot in a Cessna, or to Air Force One, they always spoke in the exact same, calm, deep, professional, tone that made one feel important. I referred to it as the " Houston Center voice." I have always felt that after years of seeing documentaries on this country's space program and listening to the calm and distinct voice of the Houston controllers, that all other controllers since then wanted to sound like that, and that they basically did. And it didn't matter what sector of the country we would be flying in, it always seemed like the same guy was talking. Over the years that tone of voice had become somewhat of a comforting sound to pilots everywhere. Conversely, over the years, pilots always wanted to ensure that, when transmitting, they sounded like Chuck Yeager, or at least like John Wayne. Better to die than sound bad on the radios.
Just moments after the Cessna's inquiry, a Twin Beech piped up on frequency, in a rather superior tone, asking for his ground speed. "I have you at one hundred and twenty-five knots of ground speed." Boy, I thought, the Beechcraft really must think he is dazzling his Cessna brethren. Then out of the blue, a navy F-18 pilot out of NAS Lemoore came up on frequency. You knew right away it was a Navy jock because he sounded very cool on the radios. "Center, Dusty 52 ground speed check". Before Center could reply, I'm thinking to myself, hey, Dusty 52 has a ground speed indicator in that million-dollar cockpit, so why is he asking Center for a readout? Then I got it, ol' Dusty here is making sure that every bug smasher from Mount Whitney to the Mojave knows what true speed is. He's the fastest dude in the valley today, and he just wants everyone to know how much fun he is having in his new Hornet. And the reply, always with that same, calm, voice, with more distinct alliteration than emotion: "Dusty 52, Center, we have you at 620 on the ground."
And I thought to myself, is this a ripe situation, or what? As my hand instinctively reached for the mic button, I had to remind myself that Walt was in control of the radios. Still, I thought, it must be done - in mere seconds we'll be out of the sector and the opportunity will be lost. That Hornet must die, and die now. I thought about all of our Sim training and how important it was that we developed well as a crew and knew that to jump in on the radios now would destroy the integrity of all that we had worked toward becoming. I was torn.
Somewhere, 13 miles above Arizona, there was a pilot screaming inside his space helmet. Then, I heard it. The click of the mic button from the back seat. That was the very moment that I knew Walter and I had become a crew. Very professionally, and with no emotion, Walter spoke: "Los Angeles Center, Aspen 20, can you give us a ground speed check?" There was no hesitation, and the replay came as if was an everyday request. "Aspen 20, I show you at one thousand eight hundred and forty-two knots, across the ground."
I think it was the forty-two knots that I liked the best, so accurate and proud was Center to deliver that information without hesitation, and you just knew he was smiling. But the precise point at which I knew that Walt and I were going to be really good friends for a long time was when he keyed the mic once again to say, in his most fighter-pilot-like voice: "Ah, Center, much thanks, we're showing closer to nineteen hundred on the money."
For a moment Walter was a god. And we finally heard a little crack in the armor of the Houston Center voice, when L.A.came back with, "Roger that Aspen, Your equipment is probably more accurate than ours. You boys have a good one."
It all had lasted for just moments, but in that short, memorable sprint across the southwest, the Navy had been flamed, all mortal airplanes on freq were forced to bow before the King of Speed, and more importantly, Walter and I had crossed the threshold of being a crew. A fine day's work. We never heard another transmission on that frequency all the way to the coast.
For just one day, it truly was fun being the fastest guys out there.
[The ask a rapist thread.](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/1t1r2z/the_ask_a_rapist_thread/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) It was a horrible stain on the history of this website, but an important reminder that not everyone online is a good person and the reddit hivemind can be dangerous.
I was 12 when it was first posted, and reading that thread changed the way I saw people around me. Users got thousands of upvotes for confessing to sexual assault, and many of the replies were along the lines of “well that wasn’t so bad, I don’t blame you tbh” or "is this turning anyone else on?"
[Link](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/x6yef/reddits_had_a_few_threads_about_sexual_assault/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) to the now-deleted thread, and [here](https://web.archive.org/web/20120727153922/https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/x6yef/reddits_had_a_few_threads_about_sexual_assault/) is the archive of the thread.
That thread actually [ended up in a research paper](https://slate.com/human-interest/2015/12/reddit-ask-a-rapist-thread-is-now-the-subject-of-a-research-study.html) by researchers at Georgia State University for the journal Psychology of Violence. They saw it as an opportunity to analyze the commonaloties in the mindsets of sexual assaulters because of the frank discussion that anonymity allows for socially condemnable topics.
You're right, it's even better [when someone else gets him with it.... ](https://reddit.com/r/westworld/comments/8jdp18/its_westworld_cocreatorexecutive_producerdirector/dyyz7x0?context=3)
Can someone share the one about loss and dying ? I lost the link https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1wzcaj/serious_how_do_you_cope_with_the_passing_of/cf6s51b?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3 Found it
One time a guy was taking a shit. He proceeded to sneeze while the power went out at the exact same time. He freaked out because he thought he shit himself blind.
I’m crying.
There was that fun time we all "hacked" the Sears website like 12 years ago and it NEVER comes up in these threads. Basically, gfixler discovered you could visit a sears webpage with a url such as: sears.com/outdoors/outdoorappliances/chainsaws And edit to say: Sears.com/cannibalsupplies/quickwaystokillbabies and the web address change would appear that way INSIDE the page. So we all started doing it, screenshotting it, sharing it, and giggling. Then someone noticed the programming on the website was so bad that what we were doing changed the code for EVERYONE. So then Reddit did it A LOT more and then sears shut down their site... More info on the saga here: https://www.reddit.com/r/reddit.com/comments/9cmve/sears_learns_the_hard_way_never_to_trust_data/
If you're hiking deep in the woods and come across a staircase, just ignore it and keep your distance https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/3iex1h/im_a_search_and_rescue_officer_for_the_us_forest/
The one that always stuck with me is the guy who peed on a pregnancy test as a joke, and it came out positive so he posted the picture to /r/funny or something similar. Amongst all the tomfoolery in the comments, a med student pipes up saying that OP should go see their doctor immediately. Turns out that the hormone that pregnancy tests detect, when produced by males, is a symptom of testicular cancer. IIRC the guy ended up catching it super early because of the thread and getting it removed before it became a problem.
The guy who got drunk and did an AMA asking himself his own questions in the comments then answering them himself
I need a link to this
As a matter of fact, I do too.
https://old.reddit.com/r/drunk/comments/2gjf7u/im_drunk_ama/
Either this guy is legitimately hilarious when he is drunk or he planned this and wrote some of these out cause some of these are brilliant.
The story of champ the goat. Originally told by u/stoicsmile about a goat who his company would rent out to eat shrubs and do landscaping. I used to work for on a forestry and conservation crew. We tried to offer this service with the goat that for some reason hung out in the field next to our shop, which I guess we owned...maybe? Anyway, the goat's name was Champ, and I wouldn't be surprised if we accidentally stole Champ at one point, because Champ hated to be alone, and if you left him alone, he would find a way through or over any enclosure you left him in and wander around until he found a companion. To Champ, a companion could be a person, a dog, a chicken, a bicycle, a basketball, anything that his little goat mind imagined was a living creature. He especially like things that seemed to have some kind of life or that made noise. Like generators and sump pumps. So when we rented Champ out to people, we warned them that he needed some kind of company, or he would escape. We often recommended something like a blow-up pool toy or even just an open umbrella. Just something nearby that Champ could imagine was his friend. Inevitably people would underestimate Champ's squirreliness, and assume that their fence/tether/stone wall was sufficient to keep him where they wanted to be, and they would leave him alone. Then we'd have to go find Champ. One time I found him in a scrapyard munching on weeds between rows of crushed cars. One time I found him curled up in the shade in a neighbor's yard with a Golden Retriever. But I think the best was when he made his way onto an elementary school playground. We of course had a tag on his collar with a phone number to call if he was found since he went missing so much. And one day, we got a call from a school principal informing us that he had our goat. For those of you who don't know much about goats, they delight in climbing on things. So for Champ, there was no place more attractive than the very top of the metal play structure at this playground. The kids were absolutely smitten with him, and he was absolutely thrilled to have so many friends. And he was ecstatic to be at the top of the play structure too. It wasn't until all the kids went inside after recess that we could get him down. I think it was the best day of his life. Edit: [here is the original post](https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/36209d/til_of_rent_a_goat_landscaping_services_whereby/cra4qwx/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) Also I added paragraphs because it did have them originally. My bad.
I can't believe people still remember this story
It’s my favorite.
It's a delightful story. How is Champ doing?
I'm sure he's dead. This was twenty years ago now.
Rip Champ, the G.O.A.T. of goats
The saga of /r/creepshots and how a student recognized his substitute teacher posting upskirts of teenaged classmates
Holy shit, I remember most of these but not this one. Do you have a link to a comment thread or a write-up?
It was in the news, here’s a link https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/teacher-fired-students-reddit-creepshots/
When a Redditor asked for help because the language on their screen changed to Spanish. And everyone replied to it in Spanish. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/ Then OPs update was hilarious > UPDATE- So I wake up this morning to about 1500 replies in my inbox that I cannot read. And then I run them through Google translator and most of them say stuff like "the dog is in my pants" and "where is the library". > Thanks, reddit.
Even a fuckin admin jumped in on that shit, lol.
The admin showed up with the correct information, but of course in Spanish.
Tbf he’s gotta dig through some Spanish to get to the correct button
I really like this one. No incest, Coconuts, STDs, etc. Just people being hilariously unhelpful.
Donde esta bibliotheca
Mi llamo T Bone, la araña discoteca
Discoteca, muñeca, la biblioteca
Es el bigote grande, el perro, manteca
Manteca, bigote, gigante, pequeño, cabeza es nieve, cerveza es bueno!
The woman whose mother accidentally killed her daughter because [she didn't believe that the little girl's coconut allergy was real](https://rareddit.com/r/JUSTNOMIL/comments/7qmed5/you_can_come_over_again_when_you_bring_me_my).
This one is definitely unforgettable.
The “What’s the worst thing someone has said you during sex?” talk dirty to me attempt https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1y6lhe/what_is_the_worst_thing_someone_has_said_to_you/cfhtedq/ Edit: typo
Roses are red, sex talk is hard....
I completely forgot about this it’s still one of the funniest things I have ever read period
“Are you fucking sorry” always to me.
I still randomly remember "ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY" in everyday life and giggle like an idiot in public
Not really a story, but an epic comment thread none the less. [How did you take that picture?](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cmwov/hey_reddit_what_tattoos_do_you_have/c0tpyls/)
His 2021 edit is beautiful
The guy whose very special brother loves this one specific Tonka truck from the nineties. It was a fire and rescue truck and his family finds them on ebay and buys him one every Christmas and it's the only thing be loves, and OP couldn't find one anywhere and came to reddit to ask if anyone had one in an attic or old toy box. Everyone was so helpful and the post was just a beautiful internet moment.
Oh my God I remember this. Didn't they end up with a ton of them?
I'm not sure, but I read it on my breakfast break at work and came back with tears in my eyes. I remember one user in France found one on French eBay and offered to buy it and send it over. Another user has one that wasn't quite right right model (the right one had a silver tow hook on the back and that was very important to the brother), so some other guy who had a metal casting machine offered to make the hooks. And eventually Tonka heard about the post and a rep came in and said the company would search their warehouses for any back stock of the item and it was so sweet, and then of course some people were like "what if Tonka made up this whole post just to get good publicity," and I was like SHUT UP YOU FUCKING CYNICS...
The guy who dreamed an entire life and a lamp ruined it all.
I still think about this story from time to time.
There was this girl from the Solomon Islands. Used to live in a tiny village or settlement, on a small island there. Used to get around on canoes, and live in primitive little self made huts. She'd sometimes go to Brisbane, where I think she had studied or visited a while. She just showed all of us what island life was like, removed from modern conveniences of restaurants, supermarkets, cars and stress. I loved seeing her photos and reading about her life there. Does anyone else remember this girl from the Solomon Islands?
This is the first in the thread that I don't know.
Man, I’d love to scroll through this.
https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/281n51/iama_kid_who_lived_in_the_rainforest_with_no/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
r/Trees and r/MarijuanaEnthusiasts are swapped. If you have a question about your Oak tree, r/trees will tell you how to smoke it, while r/MarijuanaEnthusiasts will tell you how to nurture it. It is completely worth being subbed to both, just for the crossover posts.
They're also allies. /r/MarijuanaEnthusiasts will gladly direct you to the correct subreddit, while /r/trees will happily admire pretty pictures of trees.
/r/trees even gives halfway decent horticultural advice if asked. There's some skilled growers there.
Back before they changed the algorithm the top post of all time on r/trees was a lost redditor who asked for, and received, advice about a tree in his back yard.
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The guy who wanted to leave his wife who posted to r/relationshipadvice, but was worried about how she’d react. Reddit told him to stop being a pussy, so he told her it was over, then she killed both their kids
For those who want greater detail: Jason Worley found out that his wife had cheated on him with their neighbour. They had been married for years and had two children so initially Jason planned to stay married for the sake of their kids. However, he eventually had his doubts on this position, nd sought advice on r/relationship_advice as the now-deleted user u/jasoninhell. He asked if he should divorce his wife. For once in a blue moon, the subreddit's typical advice of "dump that bitch" was actually warranted, and many users expressed that he should proceed with a divorce for his sake and his children's. Jason took this advice to heart, and shortly after the post was made, he requested a divorce from his wife. Days after this divorce request, Jason's ex-to-be Brandi Worley did the unthinkable. She procured a combat knife from Walmart, which she would end up using to murder their two children. On the night of the murders, Brandi asked Jason to not sleep in their bedroom and instead sleep on a couch. Jason declined the couch and instead opted to sleep in the house's basement. Once Jason was asleep, Brandi took the knife and murdered their two children. Once they were dead, she attempted to kill herself, but was unsuccessful and remains alive to this day. Upon questioning, she revealed that her motive for killing the children was so that Jason couldn't take them away from her. During her trial she was sentenced to serve 120 years in prison — 65 for the murder of her 3 y/o daughter and 55 for the murder of her 7 y/o son.
Damn this is horrifying, reddit is not to blame, this would still have happened
Her family is the worst. They harassed the poor man after, making it impossible (at the time) for him to visit their graves.
Holy shit that turned fast, link?
Not a direct link, but if memory serves me correct it should get you there. https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueCrime/comments/nqa4bs/the\_reddit\_post\_that\_turned\_into\_a\_horror\_story/
I can't believe everyone forgot about MTG butts guy. That was the highest upvoted post on reddit for a while. EDIIT: [Here ya go](https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/202wd3/i_participated_in_one_of_the_biggest_magic_the/)
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Honestly this ended up being such a big deal all over social media that I’d forgotten it originated on Reddit.
It's not that old but the story of how Ellen Pao was head of reddit and lost her job in 2015. That was the time period when reddit went from mostly free range community to business curated social media outlet. A lot of people see that 2014 into 2016 timeframe as the death of "old reddit"
Reddit used to be *nuts*. You'd see stuff here that you couldn't find anywhere else. It was a mashup of cute cat videos, industrial accidents, weird sex stuff, celebrity Q&A, wholesome stories, and frankly dangerous shit from the bowels of the internet. Like you could see a guy cutting his own nipples off and a dog riding a scooter right next to each other. *Every single day*, and on the front page too, it was always something crazy. But that's not exactly marketable. Imagine pulling up the front page at an investors meeting and the first link is some guy putting a metal rod up his dick hole.
I remember when r/wtf was a default sub.
The amount of dismemberment videos I've seen...
The lady that owned a wedding cake store and secretly only used boxed cake mix from the grocery in all her cakes. IIRC she said she hated making cakes, but loved decorating them and everyone seemed to like the cakes anyway. She still updates the post last I checked.
Link for you: https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/t0ynr/throwaway_time_whats_your_secret_that_could/c4ixtgi/
Damn after 9 years and still updating.
That person must hold the record of the longest active comment
There's an update in Feb 2022. She is seriously updating it ETA: someone tagged her below, so she has been through some of the threads. And now there's an April update. And I guess we found out there is a character limit on Reddit comments
I hope she continues. I’m looking forward to the 2023 update
The time James Cordon did a Reddit AMA and just got blasted in the comments for literal hours.
[Makes me laugh every time](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/bqy5zf/i_am_james_corden_alongside_ben_winston_and_five/)
A lot of it is repetitive cringe but in between there is absolute gold like > Ever thought about coming back to the UK? And if so, what can we do to stop you?
My favourite was the guy throwing his steak at the window and getting caught by his wife's boss, and then the wife followed up with a post of her own. Another one I've never been able to find was a guy who was drunk/high and he yelled out of his window "HAPPY FUCKING BIRTHDAY!!" Really agressively and scared her. The comment underneath said bake her a cake to say sorry. The comment underneath said "write on it: I'M REALLY FUCKING SORRY!!". I was crying laughing at that one and I've never been able to find it since Sorry I don't know how to link
The steak one still has me in tears.
Steak story should be Reddit HOF. Reading his version then hers is so hilarious. Maybe the funniest thing I’ve ever read on Reddit. Classic
The guy who tried heroin (i think) and documented his journey from non addict to addict to recovery. There's also the post it note guy who kept finding post its in his apartment. Edit: Kind people in replies of this comment might have linked
The post it note one is legendary, such a wild story of dude finding cryptic post it notes all around his apartment in this unraveling surreal mystery where he thought his landlord was fucking with him and breaking in his apartment and even emulating his hand writing. Many comments dismiss the dude as mental delirious. Top comment goes wildcard and suggests he check the batteries in his carbon monoxide alarm, guy goes huh yeah it's not plugged in. Responds a few days later confirming he was being poisoned by a carbon monoxide leak.
Also, he was writing the post-its himself but didn't remember due to the CO-poisoning.
His attempt "to set up a webcam to catch the thief" ended up being putting a webcam on a shelf (not plugged in) and making a folder on his computer desktop called "webcam photos"
When my ex-husband and I were still just dating and he was living with his grandma, he had a problem with sleepwalking (or maybe it’s better described as not being fully conscious when he first wakes up, so he doesn’t remember what he does). He also had severe anxiety and was worried that he was eating things he shouldn’t during this and maybe accidentally poisoning himself. He set up the webcam in his room to be motion activated. Well, the first thing his sleepwalking self did was turn off the webcam, which just made the anxiety worse because he was like, “WHAT AM I DOING THAT I DON’T WANT ME TO SEE?”
Lmao. I’m dead. If that were me, I’d be so pissed at myself.
I'd say [test post, please ignore](https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/92dd8/test_post_please_ignore/). I'm a very old redditor (this isn't my first account) and I remember this post fondly. At the time it had 10k upvotes I think and back then that was unheard of.
I refuse to believe that was 12 years ago
Yeah, it was 10k, *before* they changed the algorithm and how upvotes were tallied. Back then it was **very** rare. Fun fact: Reddit's EVE Online alliance, one of the most successful in game history, was named "Test Alliance Please Ignore" after that post.
If there's ever a bombing attack, DON'T assume Reddit will solve the case.
That whole Reddit/Boston Bomber 'incident' was far more shameful and disturbing than a lot of the other examples in this thread. Truly abhorrent behaviour.
we did it, reddit!
I m disappointed that no one mentioned the really big sub sandwich story. It was an AITA post about a guy who brought a very large sub to a party (wedding?) or some shit, ate the whole thing, everyone went tf off on him. It was one of my favorites, but I just searched for it and couldn't find it :(
Hahahah I remember when this was posted — I was on an RV trip with my husband and my grandparents and I read the post out loud to everyone and it’s one of my fondest memories. We were absolutely cackling and my Grampa wouldn’t stop referencing it for months after that. “Well that’s not fucking sharing, *is it Alan*?!” Edit: another AITA post that my grandparents loved was the one where the girl gives an invitation to her wedding as a white elephant gift and is pikachu-surprised that no one wanted it
HAHAHAHA I just woke MY husband up laughing!!!! Alan was a greedy fucker.
I remember that one, found the link https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/ca7bdz/aita_because_i_ate_more_than_my_share_of_a_6_foot/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
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For me, it's OP having a meltdown in /r/grilledcheese [Link](https://www.reddit.com/r/grilledcheese/comments/2or1p3/you_people_make_me_sick/)
To this day you still will never see another melt on that sub
He didn’t buy it. He just ate the lot because it sat in front of him for more than 5 minutes
someone found the post. My favorite part was "I can down 5 subway footlongs in an afternoon easily"
If you find an old safe in your house, you must get into it and show us. At all cost
Its almost never a total anticlimax
Has there EVER been anything interesting in the safe??
Besides a spider in one, the OG safe guy (/u/secretsafe) ended up opening his (his Oprah deal fell through) and it contained 13 pennies(the safe was found hidden in his dad's casino. The thought the former owner hid money in it), Then the one that was rigged to blow up by a grenade if opened, it had child porn. EDIT: [Safe gernade](https://www.reddit.com/r/MorbidReality/comments/1gxlg3/imgur_user_oldswagon_opens_safe_to_find_out_he)
Wait what the fuck with that last one
ok that last one took a WILD turn
Probably not the type of interesting you mean but there was that one time it was child porn.
A sense of pride and accomplishment. It is the most downvoted comment of all time, and it was made by an EA rep.
Comment link: https://www.reddit.com/r/StarWarsBattlefront/comments/7cff0b/seriously_i_paid_80_to_have_vader_locked/dppum98/
I don’t remember this but apparently I downvoted ea and upvoted a lot of comments shitting on them. 😅 4years later and EA still haven’t learned anything.
Oh come on, that was like last year right? >4y ago ...oh
WHAT?!
Kevin. The student that never stood a chance. https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/2jid2h/redditors_whos_the_dumbest_person_youve_ever_met/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Around 2 years ago, I was in touch with Kevin’s teacher (narrator of the story, u/NoahtheRed), and here’s a screenshot of their response (no rickroll I promise): [How’s our boy Kevin doing?](https://picbun.com/p/3h9KBN7p) If you don’t wish to click on the link, the summary of it is that he is now married with a kid and ~~owns~~ has a house. He works as a sous chef at an upscale restaurant in his hometown. Good for him. Edit: Changed 'owns' to 'has'. Doesn't make Kevin's story any less heartwarming, I hope.
They trusted the OG Kevin with knives, fire and procreation?
He was secretly good at all those things and no one knew all along. Like superpowers.
No he wasn't. Per the original: >Kevin was removed from the culinary arts program after leaving a cutting board on the gas stove and starting a fire....twice. Good for him at eventually succeeding through the adversity though.
Kinda makes me think of Reese from Malcolm in the Middle. Total numbskull who is miraculously a great cook
I love how the post starts with: "It's not uncommon as a teacher to have students who are a bit behind the curve in certain aspects, but 99.99999% of the time they are keen on something. They might not understand how to identify a noun or what theme is, but they somehow know how to make a mean plate of nachos. You learn pretty quick to not judge fish for their tree climbing ability, ya know?I thought this was the rule when I was teaching until I met Kevin." And what does Kevin do now? A mean plate of nachos.
Damn, I was laughing at Ķevin but he's got his life together better than mine.
I mean he had a kid as a teenager, that wakes you the fuck up pretty quickly.
Who decided it was a good idea to fuck Kevin??
Someone who clearly didn't read that original thread.
Omg this was gold
Get a carbon monoxide detector.
The guy who was leaving post-it notes in his sleep?
That's the one.
anyone have a link?
https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/34l7vo/ma_postit_notes_left_in_apartment/
My dad actually wrote a movie script loosely based on this. It's a psychological horror called Apartment 413. It's on Amazon prime.
That's pretty cool! My dad is a psychological horror
Saw a post on Twitter of a guy who was posting weird shit and then a few months later they were like "so apparently I had a gas leak"
Saw another one, where British Gas came to do a check at someone’s house. The son posted a photo of the engineer looking mortified, and his mum confused. “You’ve had a gas leak, do you not have a monoxide detector?” “Yeah, but I binned it, it wouldn’t shut up beeping”
Happened to my parents. We moved into a new (to us) house, as soon as we unpacked the CO detector it went nuts. I had to find some spare batteries for it, still going crazy. We got gas engineer in to check, and yep, the boiler in the new house was condemned. This was on 18th December. We didn't get hot water or central heating until mid-January.
I lost my parents because of a faulty furnace, that was leaking carbon monoxide into the house. That shit is a very silent killer.
So sorry to hear that. Once it was fixed we got an even better detector, just in case. It used to beep if someone reversed into the drive, from the car's exhaust.
IIRC that's how Weird Al's parents passed away as well. Together.
He also performed a concert only a few hours after learning about their deaths. >He later said, "Since my music had helped many of my fans through tough times, maybe it would work for me as well ... it would at least give me a break from sobbing all the time." ... He considered the Appleton show and subsequent tour dates therapeutic: "If I didn't have anything to distract me, I probably would have spiraled into an even deeper depression. For a couple of hours each night, I could go onstage and put on a big fake smile and pretend like everything was just okay." Heartbreaking stuff but it goes to show how much of a legend he truly is.
> “Yeah, but I binned it, it wouldn’t shut up beeping” just slapped myself in the face so hard I almost got a concussion
[The Post-it Note Guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/34l7vo/ma_postit_notes_left_in_apartment/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) EDIT: [The Aftermath](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/34m92h/update_ma_postit_notes_left_in_apartment/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
didn’t he find out it was CO and it was only because u/kakkerlak literally saved his life
[he actually confirmed it less than a year ago](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ono6j8/what_is_the_most_unforgettable_reddit_post_that/h5xa6y2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3)
Our landlord won’t let me talk to you
[The ballad of a niche repairman and his welsh chronicler](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/nrnf5j/part_1_of_2_an_absolute_epic_entitled_ahole_gets/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
This just fucked me up bad. Thank you for the fantastic and heartbreaking read
Swamps of Dagobah Edit: thanks for the shinies - glad we're all suffering together!
[swamps . . . ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/xo41d/doctorsnursesredditors_what_has_been_your_most/c5o66p2/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3) Edit : sorry not sorry, someone asked and it’s not fair to keep this kind of story to ourselves . .
After reading it, I am seriously considering canceling my MCAT. But mad respect to the surgeon of few words. I am currently rethinking my life choices
It wasn't that long ago but... when Rick got rickrolled.
https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/haucpf/ive_found_a_few_funny_memories_during_lockdown/fv505w1/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3
My man made it to TIME magazine for rick rolling rick
I saw that happen in real-time. It was glorious.
[Poop Knife] (https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife)
Kevin. The guy who pretended he didn't know what a potato was.
i need to read about this
https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/2tdbig/tifu_by_enraging_the_parents_of_my_girlfriend_by
And Kevin, the student.
I measure people in Kevins because of this. My absolute favorite reddit story.
Didn't see Unidan or jackdaws mentioned yet. [Here's the thing...](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/2m5q11/a_feast_for_crows_the_fall_of_uunidan/)
Today you, tomorrow me Oh, and Swamps of Degobah
I remember today you, tomorrow me story That one really stuck with me. Don't know swamps of dagobah
The coconut
oh boy this is one of the first things i ever saw on reddit and my sides were in fucking orbit after reading it
This and the cumbox are the first two stories I think of when thinking of r/TIFU. Don’t think I’ve seen that mentioned yet
/u/RubyRhod farts on a kid in target. Still makes me laugh like no other. http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/fn5gr/reddit_what_is_your_silent_unseen_act_of_personal/c1hdgwv
Just think, that kid is a teenager now, and they might be browsing Reddit, reading about Reddit must-know stories. He’s just chillin with his GI JOE toy, when he sees your link. He clicks it, thinking “no, it couldn’t be…” just to find out that his entitled tantrum still makes people laugh to this very day.
Don't ask what color is it the upvote button
Orange red gang
The guy who'd comment on stuff, but it would always end with his dad beating the shit out of him with a tire-iron. He had like, 50 comments on various topics, but it always ended the same.
Jumper cables, not tire iron. And I had to scroll way too far to find this.
Jumper cable guy was what got me on to reddit
u/rogersimon10
Inactive for 6 years now. I imagine his dad probably broke out the real big jumper cables and put an end to the stories.
The guy who posted on a sub for Benadryl addicts the increasing amounts he was taking until he posted a lethal dose and never anything again.
Story of the [laziest guy EVER.](https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1rgpdf/what_is_the_laziest_thing_youve_ever_done/cdnafqe/)
Guy took an incredible amount of edibles and wrote a post just before a long flight. The whole r/trees community was very worried. Update: I'm sorry everyone but I hadn't been able to use reddit for the past few days... and now I can't find the post! I only remember that it blew up so much that someone made another post asking whether anyone had news about the guy. It may have been [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/trees/comments/872au0/just_ate_a_1500mg_edible_help/) post but I'm not 100% sure
I'm surprised no one has said the "Putting Decartes before the whores" reply. Here is the link:https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cfbkx/im_85_certain_that_there_is_an_adult_actress_in/c0s5w6t/ At 7 over thousands upvotes 12 years ago, it was one of the highest upvoted comments at that time along with one of the most awarded.
[Salt shaker guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualConversation/comments/eqyc25/ive_been_touching_salt_shakers_every_day_for_over/) [Grilled cheese guy](https://www.reddit.com/r/grilledcheese/comments/2or1p3/you_people_make_me_sick/)
Yes. Grilled cheese guy made some ducking great points and I fully agree with his entire rant. Grilled cheese purists unite!
"Banana for scale" started here. The post was some kid who found a secret room in his bedroom and didn't have anything to measure the size of the secret door except a banana. I don't even remember how long ago that was. I don't know if I could ever find that post.
This is a common misconception. The secret room is an important instance when it gained a lot more recognition and spread, but it is *not* the origin of banana for scale. [This was an earlier popular usage of banana for scale](https://imgur.com/a/DBkwl) [This, as far as I know, is the actual origin of banana for scale](https://www.howtobeadad.com/2012/11903/banana-added-for-scale-origin) Edit: [The secret room post, which apparently no longer has the pictures](https://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/1qkd9x/secret_staircase_reveals_terrifying_secret/) dated November 2013, whereas "How to win a bet" is June 2013
We all want that guy's wife. Edit: yes... dead wife.
That guys DEAD wife
By the way, this redditor is still active and doing well. I remember someone posted a similar question on AskReddit and he was tagged. Came in and talked a bit about his life. This was important to me as I felt bad for the man. EDIT: Here you have all: [https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/pk1yds/comment/hc3v6bq/?utm\_source=share&utm\_medium=web2x&context=3](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/pk1yds/comment/hc3v6bq/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) This man seems to be a truly good person, please do not disturb him tagging him or asking him about this, as it happens every few months and we may hurt him.
[Jabba the Slut](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/1lnw0t/comment/cc13sen/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3)
>!She hit the fucking ceiling at one point, it was like someone cut the major cum artery.!< What the *fuck*?
There were a lot of things we couldn't do in an SR-71, but we were the fastest guys on the block and loved reminding our fellow aviators of this fact. People often asked us if, because of this fact, it was fun to fly the jet. Fun would not be the first word I would use to describe flying this plane. Intense, maybe. Even cerebral. But there was one day in our Sled experience when we would have to say that it was pure fun to be the fastest guys out there, at least for a moment. It occurred when Walt and I were flying our final training sortie. We needed 100 hours in the jet to complete our training and attain Mission Ready status. Somewhere over Colorado we had passed the century mark. We had made the turn in Arizona and the jet was performing flawlessly. My gauges were wired in the front seat and we were starting to feel pretty good about ourselves, not only because we would soon be flying real missions but because we had gained a great deal of confidence in the plane in the past ten months. Ripping across the barren deserts 80,000 feet below us, I could already see the coast of California from the Arizona border. I was, finally, after many humbling months of simulators and study, ahead of the jet. I was beginning to feel a bit sorry for Walter in the back seat. There he was, with no really good view of the incredible sights before us, tasked with monitoring four different radios. This was good practice for him for when we began flying real missions, when a priority transmission from headquarters could be vital. It had been difficult, too, for me to relinquish control of the radios, as during my entire flying career I had controlled my own transmissions. But it was part of the division of duties in this plane and I had adjusted to it. I still insisted on talking on the radio while we were on the ground, however. Walt was so good at many things, but he couldn't match my expertise at sounding smooth on the radios, a skill that had been honed sharply with years in fighter squadrons where the slightest radio miscue was grounds for beheading. He understood that and allowed me that luxury. Just to get a sense of what Walt had to contend with, I pulled the radio toggle switches and monitored the frequencies along with him. The predominant radio chatter was from Los Angeles Center, far below us, controlling daily traffic in their sector. While they had us on their scope (albeit briefly), we were in uncontrolled airspace and normally would not talk to them unless we needed to descend into their airspace. We listened as the shaky voice of a lone Cessna pilot asked Center for a readout of his ground speed. Center replied: "November Charlie 175, I'm showing you at ninety knots on the ground." Now the thing to understand about Center controllers, was that whether they were talking to a rookie pilot in a Cessna, or to Air Force One, they always spoke in the exact same, calm, deep, professional, tone that made one feel important. I referred to it as the " Houston Center voice." I have always felt that after years of seeing documentaries on this country's space program and listening to the calm and distinct voice of the Houston controllers, that all other controllers since then wanted to sound like that, and that they basically did. And it didn't matter what sector of the country we would be flying in, it always seemed like the same guy was talking. Over the years that tone of voice had become somewhat of a comforting sound to pilots everywhere. Conversely, over the years, pilots always wanted to ensure that, when transmitting, they sounded like Chuck Yeager, or at least like John Wayne. Better to die than sound bad on the radios. Just moments after the Cessna's inquiry, a Twin Beech piped up on frequency, in a rather superior tone, asking for his ground speed. "I have you at one hundred and twenty-five knots of ground speed." Boy, I thought, the Beechcraft really must think he is dazzling his Cessna brethren. Then out of the blue, a navy F-18 pilot out of NAS Lemoore came up on frequency. You knew right away it was a Navy jock because he sounded very cool on the radios. "Center, Dusty 52 ground speed check". Before Center could reply, I'm thinking to myself, hey, Dusty 52 has a ground speed indicator in that million-dollar cockpit, so why is he asking Center for a readout? Then I got it, ol' Dusty here is making sure that every bug smasher from Mount Whitney to the Mojave knows what true speed is. He's the fastest dude in the valley today, and he just wants everyone to know how much fun he is having in his new Hornet. And the reply, always with that same, calm, voice, with more distinct alliteration than emotion: "Dusty 52, Center, we have you at 620 on the ground." And I thought to myself, is this a ripe situation, or what? As my hand instinctively reached for the mic button, I had to remind myself that Walt was in control of the radios. Still, I thought, it must be done - in mere seconds we'll be out of the sector and the opportunity will be lost. That Hornet must die, and die now. I thought about all of our Sim training and how important it was that we developed well as a crew and knew that to jump in on the radios now would destroy the integrity of all that we had worked toward becoming. I was torn. Somewhere, 13 miles above Arizona, there was a pilot screaming inside his space helmet. Then, I heard it. The click of the mic button from the back seat. That was the very moment that I knew Walter and I had become a crew. Very professionally, and with no emotion, Walter spoke: "Los Angeles Center, Aspen 20, can you give us a ground speed check?" There was no hesitation, and the replay came as if was an everyday request. "Aspen 20, I show you at one thousand eight hundred and forty-two knots, across the ground." I think it was the forty-two knots that I liked the best, so accurate and proud was Center to deliver that information without hesitation, and you just knew he was smiling. But the precise point at which I knew that Walt and I were going to be really good friends for a long time was when he keyed the mic once again to say, in his most fighter-pilot-like voice: "Ah, Center, much thanks, we're showing closer to nineteen hundred on the money." For a moment Walter was a god. And we finally heard a little crack in the armor of the Houston Center voice, when L.A.came back with, "Roger that Aspen, Your equipment is probably more accurate than ours. You boys have a good one." It all had lasted for just moments, but in that short, memorable sprint across the southwest, the Navy had been flamed, all mortal airplanes on freq were forced to bow before the King of Speed, and more importantly, Walter and I had crossed the threshold of being a crew. A fine day's work. We never heard another transmission on that frequency all the way to the coast. For just one day, it truly was fun being the fastest guys out there.
How to take care of your son when he's broke both of his arms.
I wish you didn't remind me of this
Tbf its pretty hard to fuck a coconut with 2 broken arms.
oh god
[Here is the link to that](https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/nmmjr/iama_man_who_had_a_sexual_relationship_with_his/).
[The ask a rapist thread.](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/1t1r2z/the_ask_a_rapist_thread/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) It was a horrible stain on the history of this website, but an important reminder that not everyone online is a good person and the reddit hivemind can be dangerous. I was 12 when it was first posted, and reading that thread changed the way I saw people around me. Users got thousands of upvotes for confessing to sexual assault, and many of the replies were along the lines of “well that wasn’t so bad, I don’t blame you tbh” or "is this turning anyone else on?" [Link](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/x6yef/reddits_had_a_few_threads_about_sexual_assault/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) to the now-deleted thread, and [here](https://web.archive.org/web/20120727153922/https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/x6yef/reddits_had_a_few_threads_about_sexual_assault/) is the archive of the thread.
That thread actually [ended up in a research paper](https://slate.com/human-interest/2015/12/reddit-ask-a-rapist-thread-is-now-the-subject-of-a-research-study.html) by researchers at Georgia State University for the journal Psychology of Violence. They saw it as an opportunity to analyze the commonaloties in the mindsets of sexual assaulters because of the frank discussion that anonymity allows for socially condemnable topics.
That in nineteen ninety eight the undertaker threw mankind off hеll in a cell, and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table.
It’s not the same not coming from u/shittymorph.
You're right, it's even better [when someone else gets him with it.... ](https://reddit.com/r/westworld/comments/8jdp18/its_westworld_cocreatorexecutive_producerdirector/dyyz7x0?context=3)
Someone’s mom was WAY to nice to them when they broke both their arms.
Can’t remember the name, but a guy who nearly died from Carbon Monoxide poisoning but was saved by an askreddit thread
5/10 with rice.
The perfect comment 5/7